X-Men Archives Featuring Captain Britain #1 (1995)

March 26, 2021 Chris

X-Men Archives Featuring Captain Britain #1 (July, 1995)

“The Return of Captain Britain”

“Outcasts”

“-The Junkheap That Walked Like a Man!”

“In Support of Darwin”

“Re-Birth”

“Against the Realm”

“Faces of Britain!”

Writer – Dave Thorpe

Art – Alan Davis

Letters – Peri Godbold & Jenny O’Connor

Colors – Helen Nally

Edits – Paul Neary & Gary Russell

Cover Price: $2.95

Hey gang… lookit this – an old-fashioned Chris is on Infinite Earths compilation post! Been a minute since I threw one’a these together!

I figure this might be a good way to help folks catch up with the X-Lapsed Origins project if they may be so inclined. And, if not – hey, it helps with my own blogging OCD, so that’s a personal victory in and of itself!

Today we’re looking at the first seven chapters of the Captain Britain story… in these discussions we’ll be introduced to some Otherworldly concepts that are still relevant to this very day in Mad Jim Jaspers and The Interdimensional Witch Queen herself – Opal Luna Saturny/ine!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these old tales! Please feel free to reach out if you’re interested in cutting it up!

—

We open with… an INFO PAGE! Okay, okay… I’m kidding. But, not really. Ya see, I’m using X-Men Archives #1 (July, 1995) to get this story, which is a strange and almost anachronistic book indeed. We’ll talk more about that later… but, for now – this INFO PAGE gets us caught up on what’s been going on in Brian’s story to this point. Basically, Captain Britain and his elf pal Jackdaw just helped the Black Knight and Merlin thwart a threat in Otherworld (Brian also appeared and competed in the Marvel Super Heroes Contest of Champions event miniseries), and now – he’s been sent back to Earth. Along the way, Brian’s costume changes from its original design, to it’s more familiar one… also, his power sceptre vanishes – more on that in a bit.

Our hero (and his pal) plop down in the UK, where they find themselves faced off with… The Crazy Gang! This is the first appearance of a character who will loom quite large during this endeavor… and is still relevant now: Mad Jim Jaspers! He is flanked by… well, the Crazy Gang: Jack of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, Coco, Executioner, Tweedledope, Dormouse, and the Conjurors. They immediately enter into battle.

Brian is unsure as to how he’ll be able to defend himself and battle these baddies without his magic sceptre… but, he manages to knock the Executioner for a loop with a punch. He then hops out a window… freaks out for a moment about his inability to fly without that, ya know, magic sceptre — only to realize that he doesn’t appear to need it anymore. He assumes that Merlin simply transferred the sceptre’s power to his new costume.

Mad Jim then throws an exploding teapot at the Captain… which, sounds like something I’m making up – but, it’s not!

Jackdaw slides in to swipe the Conjurors’ magic wands… Brian bumrushes them (along with Jack of Hearts) from behind… causing a whole lot of coin to go flying… much to a pair of hoboes delight.

The Crazy Gang then make their daring exit. After tossing a smoke bomb, they load onto their… teapot-shaped helicopter, and make like a tree. This leaves Brian and Jackdaw pondering exactly what just happened… and, well – they’re both at a loss. Our hero then picks up some of the coins… which he doesn’t recognize at all. On the wall is a political poster… which, doesn’t mean a whole heckuva lot to me – but tells Captain Britain that… this isn’t the UK (or England… or Great Britain) he remembers.

—

Well, this is weird one, innit?

First, I gotta say – this must’ve been a spectacularly hard-sell back in ye old 1995. I mean, even if you were tangentially familiar with the Captain Britain lore… you might come into this thinking (and hoping) it’s the Alan Moore run… or, maybe the original Claremont run – but, no! It’s the bridge between the two. Alan Moore’s story doesn’t even start until the next issue of X-Men Archives! This means there are seven Dave Thorpe chapters in this first ish.

This issue has a foreword by Alan Davis, which is titled: “Stick With it, it gets Better!” (included below), which isn’t much of a ringing endorsement, is it? But, it is true.

While this short story (it’s an eight-pager, all of these installments will be short – remember, these are from the UK weeklies) didn’t exactly rock my socks… and, honestly, without the INFO PAGE I’d have been completely lost (actually even with the INFO PAGE I was still kinda grasping), I did enjoy this.

It was cool getting to see the first appearance of Mad Jim Jaspers… who, as mentioned, will loom large as we proceed. The rest of The Crazy Gang characters… ehh, I mean, they are what they are. They look to be… well, very British. Which, isn’t a qualifier or indictment in either direction – but, nonetheless… I mean, I don’t think you could mistake them for being anything but a British creation.

We learn a little bit about Brian’s new powerset here… with no more reliance on his magic sceptre. Instead his powers seem to be imbued by his new costume. Definitely a shift to the status quo… and, I’m glad we get it out of the way here – albeit in kind of a clunky way. Some of these thought-balloons were so fumbling and overwritten it almost justifies Marvel abandoning them in later years.

Overall – I think this is going to be a fun little experiment. Not sure what the schedule will be… or, even if there’ll be one. I definitely want to hear your thoughts as we work our way through — and also, if you have any suggestions for any post-Captain Britain X-Lapsed Origins subjects, please send them my way!

Look forward to introductions of many Otherworldly concepts… such as Saturnyne and more from Mad Jim! We might even see some more Braddocks… and believe it or not, we’re going to get a neat little reference to MiracleMan to boot!

—

Our second chapter opens with Captain Britain and Jackdaw being spotted by some policemen… now, why Brian would immediately be concerned by this is a bit iffy, but it turns out he’s got every right to be. Ya see, these coppers have guns… which, I suppose isn’t/wasn’t a thing in the UK… England… or Great Britain (if you’re familiar with any of my Excalibur discussions, you’ll know I don’t know the difference between the three – if any!). Anyhoo, the officers fire on our heroes… which causes them to flee – right into a hobo community.

There, Brian attempts to deduce just where (or when) in the heck he and his companion are. Unfortunately for him, these hoboes are so out to lunch, they haven’t the foggiest idea what he’s going on about. Instead, they just offer him a swig outta their bottle.

Jackdaw obliges… and gets some rosy on his cheeks.

This irks the Captain, as they really ought to be focusing on the task at hand, rather than getting wafted on some hobo swill. He sends his assistant dimension-hopping to locate Merlin and find out just what in the multiverse is going on here.

Then… a random junkpile (or, junk heap as the next chapter will call it) animates and rises from the ground. It appears to have a mad-on for humanity… and blasts our good Captain straightaway. We wrap up this chapter with Brian getting a good view of this weird version of London… while in hot pursuit of the “Junkheap that Walked Like a Man”!

—

A short chapter, yes? Only four or so pages, which looks like it’ll be the shortest for this opening salvo… but, not by much. Looks like these chapters will be anywhere between four and eight pages. Though, when we get into the Alan Moore installments, I would assume that we can spend quite a bit of time on even the shortest of offerings.

So, whatta we got here? Well – not a whole heckuva lot. Thorpe is still world-building, and showing us the subtle (and not-so-subtle) differences between this London and the (not yet established as the) 616-London. For the most part, it’s quite well done – though, as mentioned last chapter – much of Brian’s internal monologue reads kind of like a term paper. Just dry explanations of what he’s seeing… even though, we can see whatever it is he’s talking about right there on panel. A little clunky – but not unforgivable.

I’d wager that the over-explanation might’ve been helpful for those X-Fans of 1996 when this was reprinted in X-Men Archives to follow along. Well, those of whom didn’t quit trying to read this after the first chapter, anyway…

Let’s briefly touch on Jackdaw. Here’s a character I was 100% certain I was going to despise… and yet, I’m actually kind of digging him. I like how different he is from the stuffy and serious Captain Britain… and find that they play off each other quite well. So far, so good!

Overall – still having a good time with this little project, and I hope you are as well. It’s a lot of fun seeing some of these seminal moments… with the added bonus of getting to enjoy some very early Alan Davis artwork!

—

We open with the Junkheap and Captain Britain fighting their way through the city of whichever London this is. Initially, the military assumes them to both be enemies. Ya see, they don’t recognize Captain Britain at all. More on that in a bit. Now, Brian is able to sorta-kinda hold his own… he even goes all cover of Action Comics #1 on the bot for a bit. Unfortunately for him, however, the British M.P.s (I’m guessing they’re military police… but could be mistaken) decided to fire a rocket launcher at him!

Brian’s all “what the hell, guys!” and suggests they should know who he is. To this, they reply that they used to have a Captain UK… but, never met a Captain Britain. Amid this confusion and distraction – Betsy’s Beautiful Blonde Brother gets Blasted by the Bot.

Brian fights his way though the blast… and manages to push the Junkheap into… uh, the Thames? That’s the one from the beginning of Danger Mouse and Bananaman, right? Whatever the case, this causes the Heap’s energy to zeep… er, seep away. As it crackles in the drink, it comments that it needs “more juice”.

Captain Britain convinces the M.P.s to allow the Heap to reform… so they might follow it to this source of this “juice”.

Brian and the M.P.s follow the shambling wreckage to a nearby sewer pipe… which looks like it’s oozing with Tang. Our Captain prevents the Heap from rejuicing… and, it goes inert.

Just then… a strange street person appears. Captain Britain sure seems to be chummy with these interdimensional hoboes, don’t he? Anyhoo, this character convinces Brian to enter the sewer pipe… we wrap up with him face-to-face with… an over-sized Rat Thing called Algernon. I hope Brian brought him some flowers!

—

Boy, this is a strange little strip, now isn’t it?

It’s so weird… I can’t remember any of this – it’s like I’m seeing this Algernon character for the first time. In fairness, I barely remembered Jackdaw – so, what can I say?

I wanna say our main takeaway from this chapter is that it might just be (though I can’t say for sure) the first hint that there is a Captain Britain Corps. Brian’s never heard of this Captain UK… and the Londoners don’t know nothing of a Captain Britain. So, I’d say that was a low-key seminal scene.

As listeners of the main X-Lapsed program (and, ya know – readers of the current year X-Books) know, the Captain Britain Corps are most definitely still a thing nowadays – only, they’ve all got purple hair and whatnot. Whatever the case, it’s neat and interesting to see how all of these pieces originally started falling into place.

Let’s take a very brief look at this Captain UK character. Listeners of From Claremont to Claremont: An X-Men Podcast might remember her as Beautiful Brian’s representation when he was put on trial by the Captain Britain Corps for his many… many… many misdeeds.

From Excalibur #43 (November, 1991)

Looks like she’ll start popping into our Captain Britain strips before long (and to say much more would be spoiling the story)… so, look forward to that! Worth noting, the British M.P.s in this chapter refer to Captain UK as a “he”… so, looks like we’ll be hitting the ground running with some already established lore!

Overall, I’m still enjoying this eerie little strip – and I hope you are as well. Who knows… maybe we’ll come out of this with a whole new appreciation for Otherworld – and a desire to reread the X of Swords storyline over and over again! Or ya know… maybe we won’t.

—

Picking up right where we left off, Captain Britain has met Algernon… the over-sized definitely not a rat-thing. Al pours the Cap a cuppa, the contents of which Brian recognizes as the same “juice” that the Junkheap was after last chapter. Now, this entire exchange is being viewed by… a weirdo named Dimples. He reports this to… wait for it… Her Royal Whyness. Here it is, gang… the first appearance of the Interdimensional Witch Queen, Opal Luna Saturnyne. He asks what he ought to do about this… to which, she suggests that he already knows. And so, he summons the, ahem, Avant Guard. Once this is settled, Saturnyne resumes her meeting – talking about “The Push”… whatever that is.

Back at the Rat House, Captain Britain tries to break away from Algernon… when, suddenly — Jackdaw blips back in, looking quite… uh, radical. Turns out he was unable to locate Merlin to get to the bottom of exactly what and where they’d been sent. Also, he appears to recognize Algernon as someone called Seamus. Beautiful Brian assumes that Jack’s still drunk.

Then… the, ahem, Avant Guard show up. They’re your generic dudes in suits. They also wear bowler hats and carry umbrellas, because of course they do. They take aim and blast at Brian… who is initially able to withstand the beam via his forcefield — however, that is short-lived. Brian and Jackdaw are sent into another dimension… for like a panel or two. It’s neat the way this is all depicted on-panel, but feels like it’s rushed due to the constraints of being a chapter in an anthology. Brian and Jack peel back through to this Crooked London… and beat up the baddies.

We wrap up with one of the Avant Guard firing a devolver blast… which narrowly misses Brian, and instead hits Algernon. Poor ol’ Al is devolved into just an ordinary rat. This is enough to distract our hero long enough for him to get blasted. We close out this chapter with Brian himself being devolved into a monkey.

—

I know I say this a lot… but, dang — these are some weird strips!

I feel like these old stories don’t come up quite enough in conversation when folks discuss trippy comics. There is genuinely something eerie and uncomfortable about these stories. It’s got the surreal whimsy and wackiness of an Alice in Wonderland… with the underlying sinisterness of… well, an Alice in Wonderland. It’s quite well done… and, I’m enjoying these Thorpe chapters far more than I ever expected! I assumed this little experiment would be a slog until we got to the Moore chapters… but, I was completely wrong!

What we get here is… well, a whole lot of set-up. I love how the strip itself ends with all of the new questions we might have. What’s going to happen to Captain Britain now that he’s a monkey? Who is the Whyness? What is “The Push”? And so on…

That said, since it’s mostly set-up – there isn’t much for us to discuss here without spoiling what’s to come. I will say that I’m certainly enjoying the build-up… and feel like it’s coming together quite well. Thorpe, for the most part, has toned down his “spelling it out” via thought balloons here. Sure, there’s still a lot of thought balloons… but, I feel like they’re used much better – they’re here to offer up context rather than explain exactly what it is we’re seeing on-panel.

I’d say the only bit of “clunk” we get in this chapter was Brian and Jack’s brief visit to the void… or wherever. I understand doing that to allow the Avant Guard (a name, by the way, that I absolutely love) to show what they’re capable of… but, it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity, or afterthought – likely due to the constraints of this being just a five-page short subject.

Alan Davis’ art continues to impress, even at this early point in his career. I especially dig the “radical” take on Jackdaw… looking more like a pointy-eared, ponytailed Zack Morris than an elf nyoinked out of a fantasy story. I also really like how are sure to let us know he’s still a bit drunk by having his cheeks be a bit rosy.

It’s funny, the chapter that comes next is actually the first chapter Marvel included in a semi-recent TRUE BELIEVERS reprint, whose purpose it was to examine the first appearance of Saturnyne. I own that, but haven’t actually sat down with it… but, it’s odd that it would open with Captain Britain already being devolved. Seems a weird way to start the story without the preceding context. Oh well… I suppose that’s all for me to say – if you wanna follow along with me from this point on, Marvel’s made it quite easy to do so with that recent reprint.

Overall – still having a heckuva time with this… and I’m happy that Her Royal Whyness has made her first appearance. Looking forward to more – and I hope you are as well!

—

We open with Jackdaw cradling the devolved Captain Britain. The Avant Guard inform our Elf pal that he’s coming with them. He doesn’t wanna… but, has very little choice in the matter. They decide to leave Betsy’s Beautiful Monkey Brother behind, as they are sure he poses them absolutely no threat. Hmm… these Avant Guards are kinda dumb, no? From here, we pop in on Whitehall’s Corridors of Power, where a Secretary is flapping his gums about this new colorful costumed character who just appeared – referring, of course, to Captain Britain. Now, Whitehall – is apparently a road in Westminster which runs toward Parliament Square. I had no idea, but I suppose it’s good to know! Anyhoo, this Secretary orders that the “Status Crew” (oof) are sent out to deal with Cap.

Elsewhere, poor radical Jackdaw is hooked up to a machine of sorts while her Royal Whyness examines him. This is the first time she refers to herself as Saturnine (with an “I” instead of a “Y”). She finds the li’l Elf to be kinda cute… and suggests that bringing back Brian is something she might decide to do.

Speaking of which, at that very moment – Captain Monkey is bathed in that same Junkheap Juice… which causes him to re-volve into his human form. As this plays out, Saturnine informs Jackdaw about her plan. Ya see, she’s here at the behest of the DDC (Dimensional Development Court). Her job is to bring the most primitive of Alternate Earths up to a certain level so that the DDC’s “50,000 Year Programme” can usher the Earth Series into a new era. I’m explaining this rather poorly… but, it is a bit abstract.

Saturnine has been tasked with “leveling up” this Crooked Earth… which takes us back to “The Push” that we heard about last chapter. This “Push” has to do with the evolutionary Junkheap Juice – this liquid evolves things upon contact, which would accomplish the Lady’s current mission. As she’s spilling these beans, Captain Britain bursts through a wall to confront her.

Jackdaw attempts to convince Brian that Saturnine is one of the good guys here… which, I mean – knowing what we know about her now, is kind of a hard pill to swallow, innit? I suppose she’s more a force of chaos than evil… but, still. Anyhoo, this discussion is interrupted by the arrival of… oy… the Status Crew.

—

Another fun chapter… and a really neat bit of (alternate) world building!

I’m really digging how the information we’re getting has been dealt out in dribs and drabs over the course of these first few chapters. There’s some “high concept” stuff at play here, but the way it’s being delivered makes it relatively easy to digest (though, admittedly – still kind of challenging to explain… at least with my own limited abilities).

I appreciate Saturn(i)ne being depicted here as something of a nebulous entity – Brian isn’t sure if she is someone he ought to trust… and, the reader likely isn’t either. That would go on to be Opal Luna’s lot in life, even to our present day Ecks of Tens. Her task here is an interesting one – leveling up this “primitive” Alternate Earth (which doesn’t exactly appear to be all-that primitive… but, I suppose that’s all relative) so that her bosses can usher in this “new Era”. Doing so via a weird evolutionary fluid is an interesting approach… almost too easy, and certainly too easily exploited. Looking forward to seeing how that plays out.

This Crooked London being presented as a place without superheroes is cool as well. Superheroes were “banned during the sixties” here. We know that there once was a Captain UK, but no longer. I’m assuming we’ll be learning more about that as we continue on.

Adding to our punny groups, we meet the “Status Crew” here – almost certainly (I mean, c’mon) a play on “status quo”… which, when put into context, is really a perfect name for them. I know I kinda groaned when I heard their name the first time – but, I gotta say – it’s perfect! To be fair, I often groan anytime Peter David uses puns… even though, it’s almost always done creatively… and I totally love when he does it.

Overall – another great building-block chapter… really looking forward to more!

—

We open on a kind of clunky exchange between Captain Britain and the Status Crew. Brian informs them that they’re under arrest… then immediately asks what authority they have. I think maybe a word balloon was attributed to the wrong fella in one of those panels.
Whatever the case, the Crew start blasting at our hero who grabs Ms. Opal Luna to protect within his forcefield. While this fracas continues, other Crew Members pull up a scanning monitor to get all the deets on Beautiful Brian… which seems pretty weird, but turns out to be effective enough in learning what they need to know. I guess?

By now, the Avant Guard are back in the brouhaha, and they use their umbrella guns to blast open some rips in the space-time continuum to suck in a pair of Status Crewsters. The remaining Crew-dudes don’t take kindly to that… and make swiss cheese out of the umbrellamen.

They then attempt to put hands on the Interdimensional Witch Queen… which, doesn’t go well for them.

Elsewhere, Captain Britain is being dogpiled by the bad guys… who just keep on coming. It’s almost as though they’re multiplying. Brian is zapped by a vibration ray, and beaten down with the Crewsters’ billy clubs…

… until he digs deep and powers his way out! Unfortunately, by now, he’s completely drained of his power. One of the Status Crew takes this opportunity to get the Captain in his sights… however, before he can pull the trigger, Brian’s loyal friend Jackdaw dives into the line of fire — and is rendered into ash!

Captain Britain slumps to the ground defeated… while Saturnine nags him for being an idiot. Way to show some sensitivity for a fella who just lost his drunken elf friend, ya jerk!

—

This was a pretty action-packed chapter, wasn’t it? Kind of a blasty break in the “high concept” stuff we’ve been dealing with up to this point… which is neither good or bad, but an interesting aside, I suppose.

I guess our main takeaway ought to be the apparent death of Jackdaw. It’s been many a year since I’ve last visited these stories… but, I’m not sure this is a permanent “offing” of our sloshy li’l elf friend. If it is… it’s a decent enough way to give him a heroic exit, sacrificing himself to save his Beautiful Blonde British bro Brian. That said, I’m pretty sure we won’t be mourning long.

We do learn a little bit about what this chapter calls the “Secrets of Captain Britain”, which all have to do with his costume and helmet. I suppose that’s handy to know — we also learn via that scan that Brian is genetically advanced. We’ll be talking more about that as we enter into the Alan Moore chapters not too long from now.

Overall – a fun and sort of surprisingly violent chapter – but, as we’ve learned over the course of all these years analyzing comics – it’s often the stories that we have no problems with that give us the least to dig into and discuss. Next time out, we’ll be wrapping up the first issue of X-Men Archives (July, 1995) with the seventh chapter of our dive into the early Captain Britain.

—

We open with the Captain still rattled from that shot he took last issue… ya see, the Status Crew hit him where it hurt. If you recall, they first ran that weird scan on him, which revealed that he is “fueled” by the power of concentration – and so, the blast was calibrated to shake that concentration, rendering him powerless. In light of this, Saturnine decides to take matters into her own hands… and, well – makes laughably short work out of the oncoming Crewsters… which almost makes you wonder why she didn’t just do that in the first place. I guess maybe she just wanted Beautiful Brian to rescue her? Then again, she hasn’t seen him without his helmet yet… so, she might not know just how beautiful Betsy’s Blonde British Brother is!

Cap is back on his feet… but doesn’t get long to rest — the Crewsters keep a’comin’! Opal Luna rushes off to access a nearby storage closet with her faithful companion, Dimples. Inside it, is a whole distillery of the “Junkheap Juice”… or, the evolutionary sauce… or whatever we’re going to decide to call it. She claims that there’s enough here to give “The (evolutionary) Push” to the entire city of Crooked London!

Captain Britain thinks on his feet, and asks her Royal Whyness to toss him a barrel of the stuff. He decides to slosh it all over the incoming Crewsters… which instantly evolves them into rational thinking folks. They ask what they’re doing here… and, upon reflecting on their misdeeds, apologize for their actions. They also wonder how they could ever try and harm someone as beautiful as Opal Luna Saturnine… which, I’m sure is music to her petite ears.

We jump to later, and join an out-of-costume Brian Braddock walking the streets of this Other London. He has quite a head of hair, this Braddock. He is approached by a little urchin who asks is he’s got any money to spare… but alas, he does not.

Instead, he asks her if she believes in magic… and, asamattafact, she does! So, kids… here’s a tip from your ol’ pal Chris – if a strange man you meet in the street at night asks if you believe in magic – the correct answer is “No”. If there’s anything we’ve learned from the X-Books… it’s how to Be X-Tra Safe. Anyhoo, we wrap up with Brian picking the tot up, and flying with her through the skies of this wacked out London. The story closes with the revelation that this is being observed by Merlin and… Jackdaw???

—

It’s crazy… if I were to have picked this issue up off the racks back in ye old 1995, I would’ve taken one look at it and really regretted my purchase. I was most definitely not in the right frame of mind to x-plore a bunch of ancient (and, to me, irrelevant) Captain Britain stories. I probably would’ve complained about the bait and switch with the series being called X-Men Archives… and, I mean, I’d have been right to do so! This is very much not an X-Men book. If you weren’t reading Excalibur (which I wasn’t… because it cost 50-cents more than the “main” X-Books, this would have meant even less than nothing to you as an X-Fan!

Here, in current-year (and the first time I read it around the turn of the century), however – this is some really fun stuff… and it’s cool seeing so much of the foundation for what’s to come being laid out. I gotta wonder if Dave Thorpe and Alan Davis realized just how much they were contributing to the lore of this character… and ultimately the entire World of X?

I remember referencing these stories in passing… these pre-Moore Captain Britains… and I’d always compare them to the Paul Kupperberg Doom Patrol – something you just “had to get through” in order to get to the “good stuff”… with the Doomies, that’d be the Grant Morrison run. Kind of a comics “Premack principle” or something. But this, kinda like the Kupperberg run, has a lot going for it, and a lot of charm… makes me feel like I unjustly slighted both.

There’s some really neat stuff here… and if you’re experiencing it for the first time via these rambly missives from your pal, Chris – I hope you’ve been enjoying – and maybe you’ve been inspired to check them out to x-perience on your own. If these little ditties haven’t been your flavor of x-book, I’d ask you to indulge me for just a few more installments – the Alan Moore stuff IS coming, and it just might change the way you look at (and appreciate) Captain Britain… and, dare I say, many of our Otherworld(ly) trappings!

—

Stick With it, It Gets Better!