Action-Plus: Lori Lemaris, Mermaid of Atlantis (September, 1977)
"The Weak Link!"
Writer - Elizabeth M. Smith
Pencils - Win Mortimer
Inks - Frank Chiaramonte
Edits - Julius Schwartz
From: Action Comics #475
It's time for another Action-Plus piece that I've rescued from the vast Chris is on Infinite Earths Archives. I promise this feature won't just be rehashes... and I'll start peppering in some never-before-seen stuff before long.
But for today... I've got a bit of a confession to make. Ya see, I've become kind of obsessed with the DC Near Miss feature! And so, I've been spending much of my free-time compiling research for those pieces. They are surprisingly time-consuming, but in that weird way where if while I'm puttering away and look up to check the clock, I'm shocked to realize that like hours have passed! Man, I wish that idea came to me before I started grad school!
Anyhoo, I hope you're all enjoying that feature... and I hope that this Action-Plus piece is new (or new enough) to most of you!
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Today's Backup isn't just any back-up... it features Lori friggin' Lemaris. This is bound to be excellent. As we open, she is caught... oh boy, in a fishing net. She's nyoinked out of the drink by a group of Russians illegally fishing inside the United States' 200-mile fishing limit. International intrigue at its finest!
She tries to telepathically call out for help... but Superman and Aquaman are out of reach. During some casual conversation, one of the fishermen says something about a "weak link" (hey, that's the title of this story!) and it gets her to thinking... she might be able to telepathically control one of these numskulls... and that's exactly what she does.
Fueled by suspicion, the Russians fight among themselves long enough for Lori to... uh, telepathically use their radio to call the authorities.
Then she calls her friends of the sea... and they take care of business. I mean, really... if you could summon a giant octopus, a sperm whale, and swordfish (by name!)... wouldn't you just lead with that? Why all this "weak link" nonsense?
We wrap up with the arrival of the United Nations Security Force... and they arrest the baddies. They ask Lori to come on board too... to which, she reveals that (Holy Mackerel) she is part fish.
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Well... Woof. I mean, it's not like this was poorly written or anything... but, I gotta say, I feel it really didn't require quite so many pages. After only a couple, it started to feel like a Dagwood sandwich... just so many unnecessary layers.
Find the weak link! Radio authorities! Call sea-pals! Certainly didn't need all three... especially not the one the story was named for! Why get the Russians to argue? Lori's a telepath... she could radio the UN anytime she wants! Or, better yet... just telepathically contact them! The Russians wouldn't have a clue until it was too late... and by then, Shamu would've capsized the boat anyway!
Action-Plus: The Private Life of Clark Kent (August, 1977)
"One for the Money!"
Writer - Ben Toomey
Art - Kurt Schaffenberger
From: Action Comics #474
Of all the Bronze-Age backups, I've gotta say some of my favorites come from "The Private Life of Clark Kent". They're just so... I dunno... weird.
Just these stories that, if they were never told, you wouldn't even miss 'em... but, it's just so cool that they exist nonetheless. Just imagine Superman writing into his diary like the end of an episode of Doogie Howser, M.D. or something. I gotta wonder if he signs off from his entries with "XOXO, Clark".
Speaking of Doogie... I was digging through some old boxes in my garage a few months back, and came across something my friends and I worked wayyy too hard on back in high school. It's the way to play the theme song to Doog's show on your touch-tone phone! Give it a try, and lemme know!
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For this peek into the always fun The Private Life of Clark Kent, Clark shares the diary-entry of a time he purchased a lotto ticket from his usual newsstand. His newsagent is a fella named Benny, who has a real knack for numbers... he immediately memorizes Clark's numbers.
The next day as he goes to enter the Galaxy Building, Clark is bumped into by a frantic Benny! He tells Clark that they're all sold out on The Daily Planet... which seems a bit far-fetched, but our man plays along.
Later on that day, Clark returns home. The doorman informs him that a he let a telephone repairman into his apartment to fix a street-wide outage. Clark, rightfully suspicious, heads inside. He peeks out his window and sees a man reading the latest edition of The Daily Planet... complete with the winning lotto numbers, his winning lotto numbers! Of course, this is Benny lurking outside... waiting for his opportunity to "cash in". That bump at the Galaxy Building was no accident, ya see... and there was no telephone "outage" either!
Clark decides to give Benny just what he's looking for... and "accidentally" bumps into him on the street. Benny fumbles in Clark's pockets for what must've been minutes before procuring the winning ticket and rushing off to "cash in". Clark gives a knowing look to the "camera" and makes a phone call to the Lottery Commission.
We join Benny as he tries to redeem the Million Dollar ticket... which, upon inspection is revealed to be counterfeit! Clark shows up and reveals that Benny'd been "had"... and also that he sent the winning ticket to the Metropolis Orphanage... just like he does every time he plays the lotto.
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I'm always kinda tickled at the idea of Clark Kent keeping a handwritten diary. Especially in the pre-Crisis world where he kept that giant journaling... thing back at the Fortress of Solitude. Gotta wonder, is he keeping secrets from that diary?
The lotto story is as good as any... stakes are (relatively) low, and we get to see what an altruistic fella Clark Kent is. It's funny though, we kinda "get it" because we know he's really Superman... gotta wonder, what do the people of Metropolis think when they find out Clark Kent just gave away a million bucks? I mean, that's a pretty big deal... and likely something that would come up a few more times, right?
Also, Clark's an anchor of the evening news and local celebrity... this would almost have to be a major news item, right? Seems kinda, I dunno... dangerous... almost inviting people to dig into Clark Kent's "story". Adjusting for inflation that's over four-million bucks in current-year monies... you gotta figure people would be interested in such a selfless act, right? Ehh, that's probably just some of my patented "thinking too hard about old comics".
Plastic Man #17 (April-May, 1977)
Story - John Albano
Art - Ramona Fradon & Bob Smith
Cover Price: $0.30
Figured on the eve of our ONE-THOUSANDTH DAILY DISCUSSION, we'd stretch our legs a little bit with some Bronze-Age Plastic Man.
Got butterflies in my belly about tomorrow's piece... I hope you all stick around for that!
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We open with... a quick and dirty retelling of Plas' origin story which, I suppose is most helpful if you're unaware of where he came from. If'n ya don't know, he was originally a safe-cracker named Eel O'Brian, who nearly got caught while he and some pals were knocking over a chemical plant. His associates left him behind... he was shot in the back, and fell into a vat of acid. He'd survive the dunk, and soon realize he'd manifested rubber-band properties... with which he would "fight the kind of rats" that left him behind. not exactly "I am justice, I am the night", but it'll work. Also, he has a pal named Woozy.
To the present... a pair of Communis... err, anti-Capitalists plan to bomb a "Capitalist-owned" Department Store (well, gee, that narrows it down), to... uh, I dunno, scare them, I guess?
Wouldn'tcha know it, their plan goes off without a hitch... the place goes boom, leaving two people dea... err, "seriously injured". C'mon Plas, you don't cover up "injured" people like that.
Anyhoo, before pursuing the baddies, Plas decides to pop in on his lady love, Dolly. He tells Woozy to go grab a bite to eat while he waits... and so, the penniless goof attempts to steal some kids hot dog. This doesn't turn out well for him (and makes him look like quite the predator). Inside, Plastic Man finds his beloved Dolly... with (dun-dun-dunnnn) another man!
Plas leaves... and even takes his puny bouquet of flowers with him. Moments later, those two Commie... er, Anti-Capitalists bust into Dolly's apartment. Ya see, her father, Willie Wile, is a renowned (and reformed) bank robber, and a man the Anticaps need for their next outing. They figure, they steal the dame, her daddy'll do whatever they ask of him.
Oh, they also toss her gentleman caller out the window. Plastic Man makes the save... but it doesn't look like it was all that pleasant a landing either way.
Then, Plastic Man hops into action. He approaches the would-be Dollynappers, however, since they are holding a gun up to her pretty little head, there isn't much he can do. They load her into their boogeyvan and drive off. Somehow they don't realize that Plastic Man will simply follow them from a safe distance.
Meanwhile, Woozy Winks decides to rush off to the Police Station to tell them what just happened. I'm not sure if this is a running gag or not (though, I presume it is), but he's already been scooped by an' old bitty named Miss Snoopbone, who saw the whole thing through her telescope. Whatta bummer.
We rejoin Plastic Man as he locates the van. Peeking inside, he doesn't find Dolly... but, her father Willie is there. The Anticaps twist his arm with threats to his daughter, and he agrees to take part in their next outing.
Plastic Man sits back as the baddies disguise their van as that of the Police Bomb Squad. Once that's done, he removes one of the tires, and takes its place himself. Adding insult to discomfort, he takes a few stiff kicks to test his psi. Good thing they didn't use a gauge... I'd hate to think where they'd stick it!
The trio head to the bank, and convince the guards to... get this, evacuate the entire place. They claim that they received word of a bomb threat, and were here to check it out. Nobody asked for credentials... which makes me thankful I keep all of my money under my mattress. After robbing the emptied bank, they leave claiming the entire thing was a "false alarm".
Later, the goons bring Willie back to the woods, and release his daughter. Of course, it's not going to be that easy... since, they figure he's outlived his usefulness, they'll just kill 'em both.
Well, not so fast, kemosabes... because Plastic Man saw the whole thing. He bowls over a baddie, and even Willie gets in on the act. Together, they're able to neutralize the Anti-Capitalist threat.
The Police show up, and they all have a good laugh. Dolly gives Plas a peck on the cheek, and he asks if they can have a dinner date tonight. She's all "nope, already have a date"... okay, so what about tomorrow... "nope, that's another dude's night". Wonk wonk wonnnnk.
We wrap up with Woozy rushing off to the Daily Globe, hopeful that he can break the story... only to find out he's been scooped yet again!
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Okay, this was a fun one! Weird and silly... just a neat little story.
This is the kind of, I dunno, "episodic" storytelling that younger Chris would have turned his nose up at. Whatever stakes there are, are confined to this issue. I'm not expecting any of this to effect things moving forward... though, I'd assume "running gags" like Miss Snoopdogg or whatever scooping Woozy, and maybe Dolly's numerous suitors, might continue. Very sitcommy. As a kid, this would've turned me off... today though, I find it sort of refreshing.
Not every issue needs to shatter our senses, or "break the internet". It's cool to just be able to read a fun story, and not worry about what bits and pieces we need to commit to our memory... or worry about cross-referencing it with whatever filing system we have in our brains.
Couldn't discuss this issue without giving a sizable nod to the wonderful art. Ramona Fradon is pretty awesome... Plastic Man is one of those characters perfectly suited for her pencil. We've covered a few more Fradon works here... I believe there was an Aquaman and a Metamorpho story... perhaps even a Super Friends. She's great. This issues doesn't look overly cartoony... it walks that line between "regular" comic book and far-out crazy Plas, and does so wonderfully.
It's funny... my main takeaway from this issue is that one panel after the Department Store explosion... ya know, with the "seriously injured" people. This one:
I mean, those people are almost certainly dead... right? I'm no paramedic, but I don't think you cover the faces of folks who are still alive, right? Heck, I suppose I could be wrong. I'd bet they were originally intended to be fatalities though... probably had to "soften" it for the Comics Code Authority. The CCA had softened post 1971... but, perhaps not to the point where we can show actual dead bodies in the pages of a book like Plastic Man.
Overall, heckuva good time here. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's been collected nor made available digitally. Maybe one day!
Before we check out, another reminder that tomorrow... that is, Friday, October 26, 2018... is the day of our ONE-THOUSANDTH DAILY DISCUSSION. Be there or be... somewhere else!
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Teen Titans #46 (February, 1977)
"The Fiddler's Concert of Crime!"
Writer - Bob Rozakis
Pencils - Irv Novick
Inks - Joe Giella
Letters - Ben Oda
Edits - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.30
Ladies and Gentlemen... the countdown is on! As of today, we are one month away from our ONE-THOUSANDTH DAILY POST! Sooo, barring my getting hit by lightning... it looks like we're probably going to get there!
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We open with a comparison of the Roman Colosseum... and the Long Island Colosseum (I'm guessing they mean Nassau Colosseum) where there's about to be a Battle of the Bands! Great Frog fans, don't get your hopes up... they're not playin'. The bands among the battle are Peter and Laura McCarthy and the Flyers... and the Woodworkers. Fans of 70's tunes will probably figure that we're looking at Wings and the Carpenters. Inside... the Earth-2's Fiddler is wrecking all sortsa havoc.
The Titans bust in, and after Mal toots on his wondrous Horn, the Fiddler changes tact. Instead of having everyone destroy their instruments, he starts them on a dance-off. Speedy fires some gas arrows into the mass of humanity... which only seems to enrage them. Roy and Mal wind up on the receiving end of a mosh pit stomp-down.
Meanwhile, back at Titans Cavern... the rest of the teen-age heroes talk about how their next headquarters should be on an island (hmm...). Then, Robin tells an awful joke before introducing their latest member... the *shudder* Joker's Daughter. Eesh, she really skeeves me out.
Speedy and Mal return from their beating, and report in that the Fiddler is on the loose. Kid Flash posits that this might be the same fella that the Flash fought on Earth-2. No duh, Wally. Then they see... Joker's Daughter. Yeeeeeeesh, just lookit her face. Ay yai yai... that must be what you see before you die.
We learn a bit more about the competitors in the Battle of the Bands. The Flyers... and the Woodworkers (oi). Turns out, neither band wants anything to do with the other. They agree to the showdown, so long as they never share the stage. If you're thinking this won't be important later... well, just wait.
Back to the Titans... the Creeper delivers some horrible news: The MacCarthy's have been kidnapped! The "fantastic" Fiddler is among the likeliest culprits. The Titans decide to look into it... otherwise, Great Frog might have to take their place in concert! What would be so bad about that?! Also... there's plenty more ghoulish smiling from Duela. Yeeeeesh.
Robin sends all of the Titans (sans he, Aqualad and J.D.) back to the Colosseum to take on the Fiddler. Upon arrival, they find that he's started a musical plague... calling forth rats, and bugs! Mal gives his horn a toot... and is reminded by the spectre of death that if he loses another fight... he'll die. A holdover from a recent run-in with Azrael (not that Azrael... or that other Azrael either).
Despite the Titans' best efforts... the plague continues. Roy gets a bad case of "ants in the pants", causing him to fire a (thankfully gimmicked) arrow right into Wonder Chick's back!
With the rest of the Titans downed... it comes down to a musical duel between the Fiddler and the Hornblower! Mal manages to win... saving not only his own life, but saving the crowd from being covered with vermin. The Fiddler takes off in his... uh, Fiddlemobile.
Elsewhere, Robin and Company are looking into the abduction of the McCarthy's. Their hotel room is in shambles... and there are two sets of footprints leaving the room via an opened window.
Robin locates the McCarthy's outfits (floppy hats and whatnot)... and has an idea. He asks Aqualad to pretend to kidnap Joker's Daughter... and during the reenactment, we can see that the footprints he leaves are deeper than those present. Robin's not so convinced that the McCarthy's have been nabbed. Before he can share his conclusion, they are zapped away courtesy of Mal's wondrous horn.
They arrive at the Colosseum... where they are informed by the rest of the Titans that the Fiddler has the Woodworkers atop the arena. Also, Joker's Daughter's face... uhhhh.
Once up high, the Titans are taken in by a Fiddler spell... they do-si-do for a bit, nearly chuckin' Mal and Duela off the roof!
When they "come to", the Fiddler calls in his Fiddlecopter (how many things did he manage to bring from Earth-2?!). While the team takes care of the chopper... Joker's Daughter uses her gimmicks to disarm the Fiddler... then she karate chops his funny bone to ensure he won't be fiddlin' with much for at least a little while.
All that's left for the Titans is solving the case of the Missing McCarthy's... only, Robin's already done that! Ya see, he takes the Woodworkers to a Colosseum closet... where he reveals the Flyers! The Woodworkers are sure they're impostors though!
And that's because... the Flyers are the costumed alter-egos for the Woodworkers! Ohhhhh... so, that's why they refused to share a stage.
That night, during the Battle of the Bands... the secret is revealed! And (allegedly) the world of Pop Music will never be the same again!
We wrap up with an epilogue, in which the Titans find their newest digs. Next issue promises the big reveal of the TT's Disco-Headquarters!
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Okey dokey... well, this was something.
Such a weird little story, wasn't it? Bringing analogues for big pop-music acts is interesting. I'm not terribly familiar with either band outside of their hits... but I tried Googling to see if there were any rumors that Wings and the Carpenters were the same band. Couldn't find anything, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a rumor at the time... I guess. This was all well before my time.
The action scenes were pretty well done, and fit the threat the Fiddler posed. Having the Titans distracted with a plague is probably a good idea... since, it wouldn't take much for them to beat up an old man with a fiddle.
Robin was able to flex his detective muscles here, which was also pretty cool... if not a bit convenient. I suppose most detective-y bits in comics are going to be convenient, so I shouldn't really harp on it.
We probably ought to talk about the Joker's Daughter. Yikes... just so darned unpleasant to look at. It's as though the comic was able to look into my soul anytime she was on-panel. Just... that face. Gonna have to sleep with the lights on for a few nights.
My biggest disappointment here is... we have a Battle of the Bands, and there was no Great Frog performance. I guess I just oughta be happy that they get a mention! Also... and more seriously, the art was a bit uneven.
Overall... ehh, this was silly, but fun. If you're down for a weird-o Bronze Age Titans romp (featuring the ghoulish Duela Dent), you'll probably dig this. I'd certainly advise against breaking the bank (or your back) to get this one though.
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