Merry X-Lapsed - X-Men (vol.2) #109 (2001)

Merry X-Lapsed!  Day Four

X-Men (vol.2) #109 (February, 2001)

"Ceremonies"

Writer - Chris Claremont

Pencils - Tom Derenick

Inks - Rick Ketchum & Norm Rapmund

Colors - Liquid!

Letters - Richard Starkings & Comiccraft's Saida Temafonte

Edits - Pete Franco, Mark Powers, Joe Quesada

Cover Price: $3.50

Welcome to Day Four of Merry X-Lapsed - and Merry Christmas Eve!

Today we're talking about the end of Chris Claremont's return to the X-Books around the turn of the century, and reading the "soft-pilot" to his all-new X-Treme X-Men title - it's a bumpy one...

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Out There #1 (2001)

Out There #1 (July, 2001)
Writer - Brian Augustyn
Pencils - Humberto Ramos
Inks - Sandra Hope
Colors - Studio F
Letters - Ryan Cline
Edits - Scott Dunbier
Cover Price: $2.50

Got an interesting one today... a bit strange too.  Dare I say, it's a little bit "out there".

I apologize, that was horribly lazy (it's Sunday, please forgive me)... let's just pop into the spoilery synopsis!

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We open with a young woman walking down an empty street.  Crying and confused, she calls out to her parents... or anyone who might hear her... but the streets appear to be completely abandoned.  Suddenly, she is overcome with little beasties... and before she knows it, she's whisked away to a demonic landscape where she is met by something calling itself Draedalus.  Upon getting a closer look, the girl sees her parents (and a lot of other ordinary folks) just floating in the ether, and being dumped to the ground by the Big D.

Turns out... this was all a dream!  The young woman, who we learn is named Jess, gets up and gets ready for school.

Speaking of school, that's our next stop.  It's here we meet a young genius named Mark Wexler, as he goes about his usual morning torment at the hands of some jock bullies.  After having his glasses swiped and being shoved to the ground, the Zach the Quarterback rolls in to tell his teammates to leave the kid alone.

Though he doesn't seem to really care all that much for young Master Wexler, Zach tells the team that they're not going to act as bullies.  Ya see, if they wind up getting suspended, they'll be off the team!  Just then a... bearded girl runs up and starts hugging on Zach!  Okay, I think this is just a coloring/shading snafu, but tell me it doesn't look like she has a beard!  Zach looks up to the top of the building, and could swear he saw one'a dem li'l beasties.

We jump across town to the Mayor's Mansion, where a big ol' real estate deal is in the works some of the VIPs of El Dorado City including Zach's father.  After signing on the dotted-line, the Mayor retreats to a side room to tell some beasties that the can inform their Master that she's got things well at hand.

Back at school, Jess has a contentious run-in with Zach's no-longer bearded girlfriend, Casey.  Tonight's the night of the Harvest Dance, and the mean girls are making fun of Jess because ain't nobody wants her there, or some such.  Jess promises to be a dark cloud at that dance... and declares that she'll rain all over the "bimbo parade".  Let's... choose not to take that remark literally, okay?

Later, we rejoin li'l Markie at his father's CPA offices.  Papa Wexler insists his son looks "dashing" and that he will have a great time at the Harvest Fling-Ding-Thing.  Naturally, Mark is wearing one of those stereotypical baby blue "bad tuxes"... which is also like three sizes too large.

We shift scenes to a small church.  A woman is sweeping the porch, and notes that it's gotten a little windy today.  She wonders aloud if this might be due to "them".

Later into the evening, a pair of drug-dealers enter El Dorado City.  Their dialogue here is... woof.  They talk about franchising their enterprise... with a website.  Double-You, Double-You, Double-You... dot... Smack... dot... com (which is something I just now typed into my browser... but it didn't take me anywhere.  These guys might still have a shot at the domain!).  Anyhoo, they're pulled over by the po-lice, where they're met with a vulgar abuse of authority by an Officer.  Vulgar, in that... he calls forth a bunch'a beasties to feastie on the fellas.

Finally, it's time for the Harvest Dance, and Jess has in fact decided to show up... lookin' only as she can look.  Total style shift from her usual school attire... which catches some of her classmates off-guard.  Li'l Markie watches as she shoves some goofball to the ground, and realizes... he's quite smitten.  He also, uh, sees one'a the beasties... he refers to this as his "Friendly Neighborhood Hallucination", which tells us seein' these things is a usual occurrence for the kid.

Inside, Jess bumps into Casey... and they... compliment each other's dresses!  How 'bout that?  The Harvest Dance bringin' people together!  Zach the Quarterback also feasts his eyes on Jess... and gets all homina-homina-homina... which sets Casey off somethin' fierce.  She storms out, and Zach follows.

Once in the hallway, Casey and Zach start making out against the lockers... hard.  Maybe they've got some sort of reverse-cuckold fetish or something.  I ain't gonna judge... whatever works for 'em!  Anyhoo, while they're bumping and grinding, they spy... say it with me... one'a dem beasties out the window!

Li'l Markie, proving himself to be rather a perv, might be watching these two making out?  It isn't terribly clear if this is happening in exactly the same place.  He wonders aloud where Jess is at... and it just so happens, she was standing behind him... watching him perv out?  As Jess goes to confront the kid, they both see... dem beasties!

Outside in the parking lot, one of the football players is waiting... presumably for those drug dealers we just saw get eaten.  He's confronted instead by Principal Hodges, who informs him that his "package" ain't never gonna arrive.  Hodges then... shoots the kid dead!  Two of "dem beasties" pop outta the Principal's chest... leaving him one bewildered child murderer!

We wrap up with the revelation that Jess, Mark, Casey, and Zach all watched this scene play out... but, what are they gonna do about it?!

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This was a lot of fun.  It's been in my collection... jeez, nearly twenty-years... and I've never taken a look a look at it til now.

Now, I can't say that I've seen all that many 80's horror movies, but I'm familiar enough with the conceits and themes... which, this book seems to have in spades.  That's not a knock, or a bad thing in any way.  This really takes care in pulling together many of those tropes/cliches, and delivers a really fun (and intriguing) story.

We've got the high school setting, which is pretty perfect, and gives Augustyn plenty of opportunity to play into some of the stereotypical/archetypal personalities.  We've got the "Mean Girl" clique, who are at odds with the sorta-gothy loner.  We have a football team full of meatheads and bullies, who defer to their only member who appears to have a "heart of gold"... or, at the very least, a conscience.  We have the little nerdy kid with attitude.  It's really nothing we haven't seen before (or since), but it's done with such charm and earnestness, that I can't help but to love it.

El Dorado City definitely has a big secret, as evidenced by the hoi-polois gathering at the Mayor's Mansion.  The beasties have gotten in... and we're left wondering how many of the VIPs 'round town are willingly in cahoots with them.  Their presence, at the very least, is acknowledged a few times here... the kids seem haunted by these "in the corner of their eye" demons on a regular basis... the woman at the church seems to know... and, perhaps the Officer who pulled over the drug dealers as well.  It's clear that the Mayor is aware... and is cooperating.

We get a lot of questions here... and, I'm actually wanting to know more.  That doesn't happen too often for me these days!

Let's talk art.  I know Humberto Ramos can be a bit divisive... but, I've always enjoyed his work.  This semi-early work is probably some of my favorite Ramos stuff.  The characters (outside of the weird-beard coloring goof on Casey), are all really great looking, and stand out from the rest of the crowd.  That's something that usually trips me up when reading a book full of "normal" people.  It's hard to make them look distinct... with maybe a little bit in the way of "cartoonish" identifiers, without making them look like costume shop models.  Ya know what I mean?  Does that make sense?

Being the horrible pack-rat you know me to be, it may not come as a surprise that I actually still have the Out There Promotional Preview.  It's not much of a Preview, only the first two pages.  When I thought about covering book on the site, it was actually the Preview that came to mind first!  I figured it would be a quickie article, wherein I'd have to synopsize less than ten pages.  When I saw it was only two, I felt like that would'a been a massive cop-out (and, honestly, a disservice to the property).

Here's a look at the Preview Edition... same cover, with some promo-blurbs:

Inside, it's the first two pages, featuring Jess's nightmare (which is why I didn't include these pages in the main synopsis).

This promo was actually a WildStorm/Cliffhanger! "flip book"... turn this sucker over, and we see Ninja Boy!

We get a two-page preview of this one as well...

Overall... I had much more fun with this than I ever imagined... and, although my WildStorm offerings at the site are some of my least-viewed, I'm tempted to come back and cover the next issue or two.  I'd say, if you're a fan of 80's horror movies, or light high school drama, this book might be right up your alley.  Looks like if you have Comixology Unlimited, this entire series is just waiting to be read!

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(Not the) Letters Page:

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Green Lantern (vol.3) #138 (2001)

Green Lantern (vol.3) #138 (July, 2001)
"Away From Home, Part One"
Writer - Judd Winick
Pencils - Dale Eaglesham
Inks - Rodney Ramos
Colors & Separations - Moose Baumann
Letters - Chris Eliopoulos
Associate Editor - Michael Wright
Editor - Bob Schreck
Cover Price: $2.25

Had such a good time checking out a Kyle story yesterday... I figured why not go ahead and read the next issue?  Also, I'm still getting over being sick, and don't feel up to slinging longboxes looking for something else to discuss quite yet!

Let's hear it for accessibility!

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We open with Kyle getting a call from Martian Manhunter about acting as an Ambassador for an off-planet peace treaty ceremony.  This is a pretty funny little scene.  Ya see, initially the Tendaxians called looking for Hal Jordan, who as we know, is... unavailable.  Then, they wanted Superman... or J'onn himself... and it goes on and on until Kyle asks for his feelings to be spared.  Kyle agrees to oversee the signing... so long as he can bring his girlfriend along for the trip.

J'onn gives him the thumbs up, and so Kyle goes about putting himself ahead of schedule so he can afford to spend a week off-planet.  It's here that we learn that Terry Berg has, come to accept his homosexuality, and is even taking part at a local youth center.

From here, we spend... probably more pages than we need to, watching Kyle and Jen fly to Tendax.  They share like the sitcommiest banter... it's almost like they know we're reading.  You ever around "those" kinda people?  The ones who won't stop "putting on a show" around perfect strangers?  It's like they're hoping we're all thinking "Wow, they must have a super-nutty home life!", when we're all really thinking "I wish these #@%@#$ would just shut up and go away!"  Yeah, it's like that.

Anyhoo, they eventually arrive on Tendax, and we're given the quick 'n dirty on them... and, I'm not the most knowledgeable on affairs of the Middle East, but it feels like a loose-ish analogy to the situation between Israel and Palestine.

Kyle and Jade are then introduced to Minister Illus, the elected leader of Tendax... who is extremely pleased to see, not one, but two Green Lanterns.  Jade quickly corrects... confuses... and probably annoys him (I know it annoyed me!).  C'mon Jade, just stop.

The treaty ceremony isn't for a little while, and so our visiting Lanterns decide to take in some of the sights.  First stop, the "water side", because Tendax doesn't have a word for beach.  Jade pops her top and tries to soak up as much Sun as possible.  Kyle ain't keen on her "hanging out", so he tries to cover up her baubles.

Later that night, they attend a celebratory dinner in anticipation of the treaty ceremony.  Everyone is in the best of spirits, they all eat some vegetable lasagna (blech)... and Kyle plays some Rock'em Sock'em robots with a kid.  You do see where all this is going, right?

While Kyle is busy being a big kid, Jade chats up Minister Illus.  We learn a bit more about his role in the "unfortunateness".  Ya see, he was a terrorist in his own right before realizing that there had to be a better way to protect his people.  He seems very regretful... though hopeful that everything will eventually work out in the end.  You... do see where this is headed, no?

The next day... the ceremony begins.  It's such a gala event, Kyle compares it to a Royal Wedding.  People are dancing in the streets... there's music... lotsa pomp 'n circumstance!

Then... boom.

Terrorists had blown up a school transport train killing 43 children.  An additional 116 people were killed in the blast, with over 400 more injured.  Kyle and Jade hop to, and try and do whatever they can to aid the Tendaxians... but for many of them, it's already too late.

We wrap up with Kyle and Jade approaching Minister Illus... and offering their services in this conflict.

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Well, this was pretty heavy, huh?

Not that we didn't see it ending this way, right?  I mean, it is a "Part One"... which, nothing to do with this story in particular, is something that kind of annoys me straightaway.  Let's tangent for a bit...

When you buy a book with called "STORY, Part One", we're kinda trained to expect a twist/cliffhanger ending... which, to me, kinda lessens the impact of that twist/cliffhanger.  Just yesterday we read a "one and done" issue... if this issue didn't have a "Part One" in the title... we might've been expecting another, with a focus on the Kyle/Jen relationship and a backdrop of an off-planet peace summit.  Then, the "boom" might've had more of an impact.  Instead, I was just waiting for it to happen.  Not that I haven't read this story before, but it has been nearing on (Oh Lord) twenty years.

On another note, not naming each individual chapter feels kinda lazy to me.  All these "Part 1"s or "2 of 6"s just feel like a cop-out when every issue used to come with a different title.  I guess I should be happy the arc got a name... so often anymore, they don't even name the arc until the trade is solicited!

Okay, nit-picky tangent over... probably.

For the issue itself... it was fine.  The Kyle and Jen relationship, which I do remember fondly... kind of grated on me a bit here.  They feel like that "circus couple" that gets invited to game night.  It's like, as soon as they arrive the "show" begins, and you question why you even bothered to invite them.  It's like the "You're Schmoopy" episode of Seinfeld.  What I'm trying to say is... they're a bit much.

The Terry Berg story gets a requisite mention... we find out that he's going to be okay, which is fair enough.

I think my favorite bit here was the opening pages, where J'onn is running down all the names the Tendaxians actually wanted, before Kyle basically came out and asked him to stop busting his chops.  That was cute.

Overall, not a bad issue by any stretch, but one with a somewhat telegraphed ending... and one that laid it on a bit too heavy with the cutesy couple banter.  This issue is available digitally.

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Green Lantern (vol.3) #137 (2001)

Green Lantern (vol.3) #137 (June, 2001)
"The Bonds of Friends and Lovers"
Writer - Judd Winick
Pencils - Darryl Banks
Inks - Rick Faber
Colors - Moose Baumann
Letters - Chris Eliopoulos
Associate Editor - Michael Wright
Editor - Bob Schreck
Cover Price: $2.25

Uh-oh, it looks like somebody wants to end the romantic entanglement between Kyle and Jade.  I wonder what sort of monster that could be tearing up that photo?!

Ready to find out...

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We pick up where we left off last issue... which we haven't covered here, but stands to reason it would've been the cliffhanger... where Kyle has just proposed marriage to Jade!  She is taken aback, then hugs him... kisses him... and turns him down!  She calls him a stupid, stupid man, and tells him he's probably jumping the gun a little bit.  Ya see, they finally got this whole relationship "thing" right, and she figures the worst thing they can possibly do is "push" it.  Annnnd, she's probably right.

She clarifies that this isn't an outright rejection of marrying Kyle... it's more of a "not yet", which I suppose softens the blow... at least a little bit.  She still wants the (Power) Ring though!  Ya see, he was proposing with a Green Lantern Ring that had been in Batman's possession for a little while now.

He sheepishly hands it over, and the first thing she does is whip up a construct wedding dress.  Real jerk move there, Jen.

We jump ahead to later that day, Kyle's at work when his assistant Terry Berg pops in with some coffees.  T-Berg sees that Kyle's a bit out of sorts and asks him what's up... Kyle tells him about his proposal attempt to the green gal, and Terry doesn't really react all that well to the idea.  He actually throws a little tantrum.

He even goes so far as to refer to Jennie as a "green-skinned freak".  I'm not sure if that racist or speciest (is "speciest" a thing?).  I mean, she's human, right?  Just that her skin is full'a chlorophyll... which, I guess wouldn't make her a different race, necessarily.  Uh, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be talking about this.  Anyhoo, we'll just let T-Berg say it.

Terry apologizes, and clarifies that he's not mad at her... he just doesn't want Kyle to be with her... because, well... you know.

Shortly after Terry storms out, Kyle is joined by his Art Director, Andre Whatshisface.  Kyle (who is depicted as wearing his Green Lantern ring like all the time) tells Andre what just happened between he and Terry.  He believes that the kid might've just "come out" to him.  Now, here's where it gets a bit funny.  Kyle asks Andre how he handled "coming out".

To which, Andre comes out to him... as a straight man!  It's actually funnier than I'm making it sound... one of the rare times Winick managed to get a chuckle out of me.  Andre then flips the script, asking Kyle what he thinks people picture when they imagine an unmarried artist living in Greenwich Village.

Back at the homestead, Jennie razzes Kyle about being an offensive dipwad.  Another cute scene, that gets a smile.  I tell ya what, when Winick's on, he's really on.  Banks' facials here are spot-on as well.

But then, out comes the soap-box.  Kyle wonders aloud how he should handle the Terry situation.  His mind immediately goes to "the kid should speak to a therapist".  C'mon, Kyle... you don't make a good strawman.

Jennie lights into Kyle, and tells him that what Terry needs isn't a therapist, but a friend.  She insists Kyle talk this out with him... and so, next thing we know, Kyle is at the Berg residence in Maplewood, New Jersey.  Upon entering Terry's room... it's, uh... stereotypical.  There's a "Hunks" poster, as well as a Bette Midler one.  There's an rock poster behind him obscured by a word balloon which, we'll eventually... thankfully learn reads "Ferrets".

Kyle sits down and asks Terry if earlier that day he was trying to tell him that he's gay.  Terry says he isn't sure what he is.  All we know so far is he's just an ordinary teen-age Bette Midler fan.

Kyle then starts talking as though he were the "mentor" figure in a Public Service Announcement.  He ensures Terry that there's nothing wrong with him, and empathizes with how confusing this all must be.  He also tells him that he'll always be around to talk if he needs him.  Oh yeah, and that he's flattered...

... but that he's with someone.  Terry cuts through the B.S. and reminds Kyle that, not only is he attached... he's also, ya know, not gay.  Kyle volleys back with the fact that Terry's only 16... and the last thing Kyle needs is to be invited to "take a seat".  Note that he's not leading with the whole "not gay" thing.  More on my thoughts on that down below.

Kyle then rubs salt in the wound by asking if he can have a hug.  Seems like one of those "least I can do" motions that a rejector offers to a rejectee... not that *cough* I'd know anything about that... ahem.

We wrap up with Kyle and Terry sitting down and wrapping up their conversation.  Kyle tells Terry how brave he is by coming out.

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This was a lot of fun.  I feel like I'm saying that a lot.  "This was a lot of fun"... say it so much, it almost feels meaningless.  Well, I hope it doesn't sound meaningless, because I'm bein' sinceeyuh ova heeyuh.

Let's jump right to the crux of this issue, Terry Berg coming out to Kyle.  I give Winick a lot of guff for some of his less-than-subtle writing... but, I really feel like this was handled about as well as I'd have liked.  Let's go to the initial argument.  Terry's a sixteen year old boy, who is dealing with his sexuality, and who happens to sorta-kinda but definitely be crushing on his boss.  A boss who can't seem to shut up about his knockout girlfriend.

Stands to reason that Terry might lose his cool and lash out.  It also stands to reason that Terry might not be as forthcoming with his emotions... disguising jealousy with anger, and disappointment with rage.  We can see that in his lashing out, he appears to regret the things he says just as soon as they leave his lips.  The "green-skinned freak" comment especially.  The kid's confused and angry... and isn't sure how to properly express it.  He isn't sure if he's even allowed to express it.  I really feel like this might have been the perfect scene for depict this situation.

From there... Winick pulls back the tension, and gives us a legit "laugh/chuckle out loud" moment between Kyle and Andre.  I hate using such a trite statement as "roller coaster of emotions", but the juxtaposition here is just so well done.  Kyle's basically an emotionally punch-drunk rope-a-dope here... and he's unwittingly insulting everyone around him.  I think many of us have been in that situation a time or two before... recreational beverages optional.

The soap-box does come out... but in a far more subtle way than it would had this issue come out during "current year".  Kyle doesn't make the best strawman here.  He really doesn't.  Since Winick himself alluded to the stereotype of the "unmarried artist living in the village", I feel like it's okay for us to use it too.  Now, being as though Kyle is an "unmarried artist living in the village", it stands to reason that he's (using Winick's own stereotype via Andre) been around plenty of gay men and women of varying ages.  You'd assume he'd be comfortable with that, and not call for a visit to the therapist straight out the gate... right?  This bit seemed to have been written just to facilitate Jade's speech... and doesn't do Kyle any favors.

I get that Kyle's being written as the good-looking guy who's oblivious to the fact that he's good-looking... but, that's a trait that can only be "charming" for so long.  I mean, within months of making his debut, he had Donna Troy and Jade fighting over him.  Dude should know by now that he's "in demand".  His obliviousness only comes off as his being aloof at this point.  Aloof... or extremely stupid.

Kyle's chat with Terry to close out the issue was well done, though perhaps a bit too "after school special-y".  I did take note of Kyle's glossing over the fact that he's not gay... which, back in 2001 sounds like he's just doing his best to let Terry down gently.  Discussing the other reasons why they can't be together, to make the orientation of the situation the least of those factors.  To my mind, he's doing what he can for Terry not to feel different.  I feel like in 2019, this scene would be all over social media as Kyle officially "coming out" as bisexual... because, we just don't do subtlety anymore.

Overall... this was a really fun issue, that tackled a serious issue about as well as I've ever seen it handled.  It wasn't done for shock, it wasn't done to bait USA Today into slumming it in the comics ghetto for a hot-minute... then again, last I looked, this isn't a Marvel book.  I feel this was done with an earnestness... this is clearly a very important subject to the writer, and I gotta say, he handled it with grace, class and most importantly, the respect it deserves.  I highly recommend checking it out... it is available digitally.

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