Superman: Birthright #1 (September, 2003)
Writer - Mark Waid
Pencils - Leinil Francis Yu
Inks - Gerry Alanguilan
Colors - Dave McCaig
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editors - Dan Raspler & Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.95
Superman's origin... we really... really... really... really mean it this time.
What was that? Geoff Johns on line 1?
Oh well, publish it anyway!
--
We open on Krypton... go figure. Jor-El is having a bit of a test-flight with one of his "gotta get off the planet before it pops" rockets... and it bursts into flames. He continues tweaking the trajectory... but, finds the entire endeavor to be somewhat hopeless. He rants a bit to Lara about the Science Council being a bunch of boobs who refused to heed his warnings, and laments that the only rocket in their "fleet" is the prototype... which would be barely large enough to carry their infant son, Kal.
From here, we get a bit of the quick 'n dirty on Krypton. They were a people who grew tired of war... and so, became enlightened. The unified Krypton focused on science, and would prosper for ten-thousand orbits. But... that's all about to end.
After a bit of soul-searching, and coaxing from Lara... Jor loads baby Kal into the prototype rocket... and even gives him a Kryptonian iPad to keep him entertained for the trip! Okay, okay... it is a tablet, but it's the entire history of Krypton.
From here, bada-bing, bada-boom... baby Kal is fired off just as Krypton goes to pieces. It's worth noting... we're already to the staples. Remember, decompression isn't a thing that exists. It's all in your mind, maaaaaan.
In a pretty neat, and cinematic dealie... the tip of the proto-rocket morphs into a bullet... which segues us into our next scene of, Clark Kent catching a bullet meant for a Mr. Kobe Asuru. It is 25 years later.
Ya see, Clark's in West Africa... and tensions are pretty high. It appears that this Kobe fella spends most of his time dodging assassination attempts. Kobe's Ghuri Tribe pals aren't so sure they can even trust Clark... despite his just throwing himself in front of a bullet for the man.
He eventually wins them over, and they go out for drinks. It's here we learn that even in a place without racial barriers and tension, there are still ways people can be divided and discriminated against. There are always going to be disparate "classes" and territories... and, it would seem, they will always let their differences inform their relations.
Clark learns that, not too long ago, another reporter had come through West Africa... one Lois Lane. Clark says he's never had the pleasure of meeting her, but would really like to.
After some more chatting about tribal histories... there's a drive-by shooting! Without thinking, Clark once again dives in front of a slew of bullets. Despite this, an old woman is still hit.
Clark shoos the likely target, Kobe, out of the bar... and uses his heat vision to close the wound on the older woman. He then realizes... duh, the rival tribe probably wanted Kobe outside!
And so, he finishes fixing the old woman's artery... and dives in front of some more bullets meant for Kobe! This time, taking a back-full of ballistics. When he's not injured... or even scratched, the rivals assume that he's wearing a vest.
He hops into Kobe's Volkswagen bus... and they take off into the night. They discuss the Turaaba, which is the rival tribe... and we learn that there is about to be a National Election in two days time.
--
Ehh...
Such an unnecessary story... and kind of a dull one, at that.
I can only assume... and it's a big assumption, that since this was very, very early in the days of Didio, that Dan wanted to shove out the "official-official" "definitive" "we really mean it this time, you guys" origin of Superman to mark his arrival. We've talked about what his arrival meant for some other books and characters here and again... but, I gotta wonder if this to be "his" Superman (ya know, for the five or so minutes that it was in continuity).
Back when I was in the corporate world, I referred to this as the "Dinty Moore dilemma". If you remember the old cans of Dinty Moore Stew... they had the giant thumbprint of Dinty Moore on the top of each one. If you don't remember... well here, take a look:
Back then, it seemed that any time someone got a promotion to yet another level of middle-management, the first thing they'd want to do is "put their thumbprint" on anything they could... just to show that they were in their new (more powerful) position.
Changes could be sweeping... or embarrassingly tiny (usually the latter), but those changes would be made... because "dammit, there's a new person in this seat". That's how I feel about so much of the early months of Didio. The Superman books of the Berganza era had all but established that much of the "S.O.S." (Silver-Age Shhtuff) was being brought back into the mythos... that this series feels kind of redundant. Maybe Mark Waid just had a story about warring tribes that he wanted to tell... and this was as good a place as any to stick it.
This might sound silly, but despite how dull I found this... I can't really blame the story. It's really the format that kills it. If Birthright really needed to be "a thing", it probably should have been an original graphic novel... or a prestige format gimmick. Doing this monthly does it zero favors. Indeed, I was so bored by this fifteen years ago, that I dropped it a few issues in. For a fella who loves "lore" and adding things to the mythos like I do... if I walk away... I mean, I don't walk away from much.
In 2018... this still bores me. The scene where Jor-El and Lara send Clark Earthbound lasts... fourteen pages. Is that really necessary? I mean, again... if this were an original graphic novel, who'd even notice... but as a monthly periodical, this is almost an irresponsible waste of paginal "real estate".
So no... I didn't like it. It's not the worst thing in the world, but I didn't like it then... and I don't like it now. Good thing it only stuck around for about five minutes. The art, it's worth noting... is quite good! I first "met" Leinil Yu when he was working on Wolverine with Warren Ellis and Chris Claremont. I recall that he had the habit of signing every single page... and that kinda bugged me. He also added a lot of extra lines to the art... which bugged me as well. We don't get any of that here... and that's a good thing.
Overall... I mean, it's a story that might read better in collected edition. I couldn't recommend seeking out the singles though.
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Teen Titans (vol.3) #2 (October, 2003)
"Child's Play"
Writer - Geoff Johns
Pencils - Mike McKone
Inks - Marlo Alquiza
Colors - Jeromy Cox
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.50
Over the past couple of weeks, Dan Didio's name has come up a bit more than usual. In certain corners of fandom, it seems like he's almost being given the "blame" for the events of (the first issue of) Heroes in Crisis. Funny, how a writer gets to sidestep it all... so long as they're active on social media, ain't it?
Now, these Didio-directed barbs... they're not without cause. It's been clear from the start that he has a "vision" for what the DC Universe is/was going to look like. Case in point, the book we're going to be looking at today.
One of his first (publishing) moves was the cancellation of both Titans and Young Justice. The former, a zombified husk... the latter, a wonderfully fun book, and (at the time) one of my favorite monthly reads. Both books, regardless of quality, felt aimed at a wider audience. Standard superheroics... and humor. You wouldn't worry about a young tween picking up an issue of either book.
Then... the darkness came. Now, let's not get it twisted... right now, I think Outsiders (vol.3) is a whole lot better than Titans was... and, I'm at a point in my life where I can reread this era of Teen Titans all day long... yet, struggle to get through even half an issue of Young Justice. The point is, there was a definite darker turn, and... for lack of a better term, "maturation" of the young heroes in ye old 2003. A darkness that, if books like Heroes in Crisis are any indication, is still with us... and, for better or worse, ain't leaving any time soon!
--
We open with what appears to be a conversation between Slade Wilson and his ever-loyal bosom buddy, Wintergreen. As the "camera" pans out, however, it's made perfectly clear that this was just a one-way chat. Ya see, Wintergreen's head has been stuffed and mounted on Slade's wall. Wow... Didio didn't waste a second, did he? Just wait though... we're nowhere near done yet!
We head over to Titans Tower, where Robin can't shake the idea that half of Superboy's DNA was provided by Lex Luthor. Kon, who is just finishing up a few laps in the pool doesn't want to discuss it. He's certain the whole thing is a cruel prank. He tells Tim to cool it with the speculation... and most important, do not get Batman involved. As he leaves the pool area, he drops his towel... Robin finds a single hair on it.
Elsewhere in the Tower, Gar and Bart fight over control of the TV remote. Gar wants to watch the Discovery Channel to learn about new and exciting animals he could transform into, while Bart would prefer zoning out with some 'toons. They wrestle around, and wind up destroying the television, so the whole thing is moot.
Starfire breaks up the brouhaha... and then, a few moments later, Cassie walks into the "living area"... and quits the team! Ya see, she never asked for any of this... yadda, yadda, yadda. Bart chases her out of the Tower to beg for her to reconsider. He tells her that they "need" these Titans weekends. She suggests that he doesn't really know who she is. Bart tells her that she's how he found out he liked girls. Okey doke... creep her out, why doncha?
Suddenly, they're surrounded by the rest of the team... and, naturally... they all want Cassie to stick around. Then... an explosion! This Titans Tower is in San Francisco, right on the water... and so, when a bomb goes off on Alcatraz, they've kinda got a front-row seat. They head into action... Cassie included!
En route, Starfire starts giving orders... which Cassie contradicts, and starts giving her own. As you might imagine, Cassie's make more sense... ya see, we gotta pump up the rookies at the expense of the vets. And so, over the next few pages, the Titans evacuate dozens of tourists off the island and onto a boat.
Then, to put out the fire... Gar transforms into an elephant, and starts spraying away. Kon uses his tactile telekinesis to find a water line under ground... only, he accidentally yanks a gas main instead. Whoops.
Luckily, Cyborg is on the scene. He protects the Titans in a sort of static-electrical bubble. He then officially welcomes Superboy into the Teen Titans.
We wrap up with Bart having a look around the abandoned prison to see if there are any more civilians. He hears a voice... a rather taunting voice... and suddenly finds himself walking smack-dab into Deathstroke...
... who kneecaps him!
--
So yeah, that took a pretty dark turn, didn't it?
Now, it's hard to really take myself back to 2003... and, I mean... looking at this today, with how much darker things have become in comics overall... this looks charmingly quaint. I mean, this very story is sitting on a shelf at Walmart (as part of Teen Titans Giant #2) as I type this.
I do recall that this left me with a little bit of... I dunno... culture shock? It was the first time that I felt like comics were changing from what I knew them to be. I mean, we (or I) lived through the Image revolution, where every third book had the word "blood" in the title... but, this was different. DC was kinda the "old reliable"... and with books like this, I suddenly felt, I dunno, "unsafe"?
I mean, Bart being kneecapped is going to pass in a flash... and lead to some great character development... but, man... what an image! Such a dramatic cliffhanger, having a Speedster (literally) taken out at the knees! Add to that the sight of Wintergreen's head stuffed and mounted in Slade's trophy room... and, yeah... this definitely ain't Young Justice anymore.
But... is it any good? Well yeah! I'd go so far as to say that the Teen Titans book hasn't been this good... since the mid-2000's! There are things I don't quite enjoy... such as having Cassie override Kory... but, that's just something that's going to happen. Wonder Girl was the leader of Young Justice, so it stands to reason she'd be comfortable giving orders... and being more tactically-oriented than Starfire. It's just that, in 2018, I find I identify more with the vets than the rookies... so, maybe I'm a bit more sensitive to that scene than I was as a pup.
The art here... I can't deny that it's really good, but it doesn't really speak to me. There's a certain looseness here that I struggle to get past. I mean, even the cover... I rather dislike it. There's no reason to... but, I dunno... there's just something about it.
Overall... although most of this discussion might come across as negative... I really do love this era of Teen Titans. I'd recommend it to anyone really... Titans fans or Titans-curious. This is probably the most accessible run of Titans from the past quarter-century... it's probably also the best. It's been collected any number of ways... even in the (still on the shelves) Teen Titans Giant #2 Walmart exclusive. It is also available digitally.
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Action Comics #806 (October, 2003)
"Hungry Ghost, Part One: Blood, Broads and Bushido"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Penciller - Pascual Ferry
Inker - Cam Smith
Guest Art - Karl Kerschl
Colorist - Guy Major
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.25
You see that on the horizon?
That be the finish line for our #Action100 Endeavor, because, dear reader, we are in the "home stretch". Heck, we've already lapped the "home stretch" as today we are about to begin the, a-hem, penultimate installment!
That's right... this is our 99th discussion of Action Comics... and, perhaps most shockingly... we're right on time!
Barring my being hit by a bus, our 100th discussion will be this Wednesday... April 18th, the 80th Anniversary of Superman and the release date of Action Comics #1000!
Now let's learn some street magic, yo.
--
We open in the gentrified Suicide Slum. Remember this is "City of Tomorrow/Y2K"Metropolis... so even the worst parts of town have a neat hi-tech sheen to 'em. In one of the apartments is Traci 13... or Girl 13... or Girl¹³... who knows. Anyhoo, she's chatting with, I wanna say her father, about what she's been up to since arriving in Metropolis. She's met Superboy... and, well, that's about it. Worth mentioning she has a large iguana named Leroy... and very odd undergarments. She is advised to ixnay her agicmay... and maybe get a job.
We follow her around town as she goes about her morning (I think it's morning) routine. While out she overhears a couple of passionate sports fans talking about their favorite team. This appears to annoy her greatly, so she wriggles her nose and forces them to kiss. That's pretty mature.
Suddenly screams fill the air... Traci turns around to see what's up and finds Superman splatted into the ground, with a spear run through his chest! She rushes over to check on him, and magicks up a green whirlwind to whisk them to the safety of the underground.
We shift scenes to Second-Lady Lana Lang... is that what we call the Vice-President's Wife? Second-Lady? I suppose I could Google it, but I don't want to find out that that's not what we call them. Anyhoo, she's hunting for an apartment in Metropolis... which she claims will be used for "retreats" for her "Foundation". Lois-on-the-spot smelled news, and so, she's there too. Worth noting, Lois looks like she miiiiight be 16 here.
Lois knows there must be more to this story than that, and decides to pry as best she can. Lana finally lets it slip that she and Pete are getting a divorce. She then requests that it be kept "off the record".
We shift scenes again... this time to John Henry Irons' Steelworks. This is post-"Our Worlds At War", so the man himself is dead... for now. We join his niece Natasha, who is chizzatting with her rewizzired rizzobot Kelex. It's pretty cringy stuff here... and since this was writting in the early 2000's, I'm not sure much of it is meant to be ironic.
Kelex rizzeccomends that Natasha try to pick up her Uncle's hammer... which she is surprised to learn she is able to do! The hammer than proceeds to speak... letting out a "Hammer Time", which makes her cringe just as hard as I've been cringing these last two pages!'
We shift scenes over to The Daily Planet where Jubilee considers hitting "send" on the Lana Lang/Pete Ross article. Wait... that's not Jubilee... that's Lois! I'm tellin' ya, this could be any high school intern! Anyhoo, she thinks back to a chat she had with Clark in bed... thankfully, she looks "of age" in the flashback... and decides that she's going to publish.
And so, we check back in with Lana... whose beans have just been spilled. She is greatly displeased, and is trying to spin the story best she can.
Suddenly, Traci 13 and Superman appear at her (Lana's) feet. Traci didn't know where else to go... and since she saw Superman and Lana on the news, figured this might be her best bet. She also needs nutmeg... and since Lana is in full Bree Vandecamp mode here, Traci figures she just might have some.
Back to the Steelworks, and the Hammer is still reading John Henry's recorded message to Natasha. He wants her to go to college, become a doctor or lawyer... anything but a superhero. He also knows her well enough that she'll probably try her hand at heroing anyway. And so, he's created something special for her.
Back at Lana's, Traci 13 is trying to get into Superman's head to see who or what put him in such a state. We hop into a flashback... Superman is taking care of a group of ninja-flavored nogoodniks. When the dust settles, he saves a woman who is about to be garroted... only for her to slump to the ground anyway. This distraction proves to be enough for Gaki, a "hungry ghost" to impale him with her staff.
We wrap up with Natasha Irons in her brand new Steel costume arriving... and insisting that Traci 13 back the eff off.
--
Well... this was, uh, weird... right?
I suppose we should just addrizzess the elephizzant in the rizzoom right off the bizzat. There was some scarily-cringy dialogue in here... and the thing of it is, I'm not sure if it's meant to be! I mean, if this book were to come out today... then, yeah... this is definitely "for the laughs". Back in 2003, though? I'm not so sure. I really wish I could remember how I "received" this issue back when it first released.
Another thing worth mentioning (again)... man, did Lois look young here. I swear I thought that was Jubilee in the Daily Planet scene... complete with bubble gum! That's gotta be one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to shared-universe storytelling... lack of consistency in character appearance. Anything from hair length to body type... when the characters drastically change in appearance (and back again) from chapter-to-chapter, it just bugs the hell out of me. I know Lois didn't look like a teenager in all of the books at this time. Then again, by the turn of the century, character bibles and "style sheets" were probably already considered a passe relic.
It seems like this is kind of a throwaway story... doesn't quite feel like it belongs in Action Comics. Though, when I look at the last page of the book, there's an advertisement for the launch of Superman/Batman... which is clearly where all of the "important" things are going to be happening for the next little while. I suppose that allowed the regular "Super Team" to flex their storytelling muscles a bit... and explore not-so Super-centric story threads. That's fair enough, I suppose.
Overall... this is a weird one to recommend. Despite the characters not being completely "on model", the art here is pretty great. If you're in the mood for a Superman-flavored story that isn't necessarily about Superman, this might just be worth a shot.
That's it for today... but remember to check back Wednesday (4/18) when we finally cross the #Action100 finish line!
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Action Comics #801 (May, 2003)
"Seeds"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Guest Penciller - Tom Raney
Inker - Walden Wong
Colorist - Gina Going
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.25
Man, we're just truckin' along to April 18th, ain't we?
When I first decided to try this #Action100 thing, it felt like I had all the time in the world to get it done. Now I look at the calendar (which I seem to have a hard time understanding at the best of times) and see just how close we are getting to Action Comics #1000.
Looks like we need to kick it into high gear... and so, random issue of Action Comics, ahoy!
--
We open in Little Falls, Colorado where a child is excitingly telling their mother about their day at school. The chat is interrupted by the arrival of... well, neither bird nor plane... but also not... well, you know. Meanwhile in Metropolis, Lois is exhausted after a long night's work... but is still up for some "action" with her (currently unemployed) husband.
Elsewhere, young sorceress... ninja... lizard-wrangler, Traci Thirteen is being treated in a hospital. She is awakened from a nightmare.
Back to Little Falls, where a ski salesman and his daughter are having a contentious little back and forth about some lousy customers they just dealt with. Their chat is also interrupted by... neither bird nor plane, but also not... well, you know.
Back in Metropolis, Lois and Clark are stopped on the street by one of those "The End is Nigh" kooks. This really seems to bug Clark... leaving Lois to wonder aloud, "how long have you lived in a city?"... and, she's totally got a point.
In Bialya, a shadowy man in a shadowy room watches a bank of monitors... and waits. I hate scenes like this... I mean, this dude must've dropped out after only taking Super-Villainry 101.
Back to Little Falls... where inside a car, a young boy plays with the World's Finest action figures. Meanwhile outside, an unhappy couple (probably the tot's parents) argue about his upcoming birthday party. Their argument is interrupted by neither bird nor plane, but also not... well, you know. This time, however, it's clear whatever it is... it's deadly.
Then, we're off to Pokolistan where Avruiskin (Zod) hovers... and waits. He must've gone as far as Super Villainry 202.
Back in Metropolis, Clark makes Lois coffee... before, I dunno, hearing something weird coming out of Colorado? I mean, he bursts through their window, shattering it, without even a word! At the same time, back in Little Falls... a glowing man hovers in the fetal position above a massacre.
Superman arrives on the scene immediately and tries to stop the glowing fella. This whole thing is being watched by some kids from a classroom window. They turn to address their teacher, who has undergone a rather horrifying metamorphosis herself!
Superman rushes into the classroom to try and get control over the situation. Seems as though the teacher is conflicted... she still seems to know who she really is, and wants not to give in to her new baser insectoid instincts. They are then joined by... the daughter of the ski salesman... and, there's definitely something not right about her! She sneezes... causing a very green explosion.
Next stop, Washington D.C.... where (hell yeah) President Lex Luthor is being given intel from DEO Agent Cameron Chase. She advises him that there has been a sudden boom in Metagene triggering... registering between a four and an eight on the "P.M. Scale". Between a four and an eight? That's a pretty wide margin.
Back in Little Falls, it's revealed that Superman was able to save all the tots, however not the Sara the Sickly Sneezing Ski Salesgirl. No word on the teacher either. One of the kids goes into Aerobic Arrest... and Superman goes to rush him off to the hospital. He is stopped, however, by an officer "pulling rank" (yeah, right). They are then approached by some goofy slacker kid... who just sprouted wings! He tells Superman that he'd like to take the boy to the hospital for him... and so, he does.
That evening, after all the dust has settled, this group of new-Metas is corralled into a place for safe-keeping. They're all freaked out (duh), and wonder if there might be a cure for their new "conditions". Superman has no answers at this point.
Back in Washington, Agent Chase (and Secretary of Metahuman Affairs, Amanda Waller) continue to fill President Lex in on the day's events. He learns of the Little Falls incident, and dismissively compliments Superman for his work their.
We wrap up with Chase directing Lex's attention to the latest... the Metagene "boom" has exploded, leaving 1:1000 Americans with strange powers beyond those of mortal men!
--
Seems to be a trend these days... so much of what I'm reading, old or new, can be described as "Not bad... but boring". That, unfortunately leaves a goofball like me with precious little to say about it. Maybe that was their plan all along?!
In revisiting this issue, I can recall that this was where I started to fall off a bit with Superman. I kept buying it for a couple more years (I think I finally "tapped out" when Chuck Austen was writing it under a pen-name (do I have that right? That was the popular opinion back in the day))... but at this point, I kinda stopped caring.
I guess it's natural to have a bit of a malaise after a "big" issue (Action Comics #800)... but, I'd assume they'd want to come out of the gate with a bang... if only to hold on to some of the "looky-loos" who might've picked up #800 on a whim, and came back for more. Though, to be fair... this was during comics self-loathing period where "milestone" issues weren't really hyped up anymore. Another example of over-correcting.
What we get instead is... a whole lot of table-setting, and a fairly uninteresting/uninspired story... complete with shadowy man in a shadowy room watching a bank of monitors. Was this already played out by 2003? I can't remember. Bendis hadn't yet foisted Maria Hill on us by this point, right? Because that's when every single Marvel comic started having a scene of a darkened room and a bank of monitors in it (because she seemed to "guest-star" in every single Marvel comic). Man, what a horrible time.
Back to this issue. It's good... not great. The cover is pretty cool... but has nothing to do with what's going on inside. Tom Raney's "guest" art is really good... and I enjoyed the scenes with President Lex (as I always do!). Worth tracking down? Well, that's a toughie. You won't get any sort of resolution here... and since the story hasn't been collected, you'll have to buy a few issues to get the full story. It is available digitally though... at $1.99, which in my mind, is a bit steep.
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