Flash: Rebirth #2 (July, 2009) "Dead Run" Writer - Geoff Johns Art - Ethan Van Sciver Letters - Rob Leigh Colors - Alex Sinclair Edits - Chris Conroy, Joey Cavalieri Cover Price: $3.99
Well, leave it to me to start an ambitious (ambitious for the late-2023 version of me, anyway) little project during a busy holiday week. During our final pre-Thanksgiving "clean sweep" of the house, my short-stack of Flash: Rebirth books were snapped up from the coffee table, and stowed away... somewhere. I'll admit I didn't look too terribly hard for them... but, when I finally got around to it, it took a bit of doing. I wasn't gunning for "daily" coverage, but... jeez, I assumed I'd be able to do a little bit better than monthly. Apologies.
Been doing a bit of a Chris is on Infinite Earths "revisit" kick, rereading old stuff... tidying up the place a bit. This time of year kind of lends itself to reflection and what-not, doesn't it? This little site wasn't ever anything to write home about... but, I tell ya what, I really miss the fella I was during the "hey-day" of daily discussions. I miss connecting with people... and, hell, just connecting with myself through this silly little hobby. It's been a bit of a rough patch for me personally these past 12-18 months. No real sign of there being a light at the end of the tunnel just yet... but, we do the best we can. Here's to a brighter 2024.
Anyway, with all that dreariness out of the way... howsabout we get into the second issue of Flash: Rebirth?
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We open in one of my least favorite Flash-comic-locales... Gorilla City. If you've followed my stuff, you'll know there are a handful of places in the DC or Marvel Universe that cause my rapidly-declining eyes to glaze over. Gorilla City is definitely one of 'em. Anyway, here we see some pretty cool Flash cave art, depicting black lightning bolts emerging from Barry-Flash's lightning bolt emblem and hitting the rest of the Flash fam. From here, we hop over to the Balkans to meet up with Ivana Molotova, Lady Flash... as she's attempting to make contact with the recently-crispified-critter we know as Savitar. She whips something up and is able to bear witness to his final moments and powderfication at the unwitting hands of Barry Allen.
Speaking of Barry, let's check back in on him... as he sits next to the cremains of Savitar. As Hal Jordan arrives on the scene, Barry warns him not to come too close, lest he be crispified as well. Barry notes that his "death-touch" or whatever didn't affect Sav's metal mask... only his flesh. Hal takes the remains as Barry heads off to chat up Wally about his "perp", Savitar. I know Barry's a cop (or cop-adjacent), but I don't think I'm digging him referring to a supervillain... even one as ineffective as Savitar... as a "perp". That seems a bit try-hard to me. Anyway... Barry's off, and during a pass-by of Iris' house, sees that there's a police car outside. This causes him to flash-back to the recent-retcon concerning his mother's murder... which, also feels a little bit "try-hard"... almost like it's cribbing on "blood and pearls" outside a showing of Zorro. The flashback (and retcon) doesn't end there, however, as Barry then recalls the day he first met Iris. It takes a fair bit of liberty with the original take... but, it's harmless enough not to ruin anybody's day. It just moves their meeting day up to the day of Barry being struck by lightning, rather than the day after. It also gives us a bit more context regarding the Nora Allen "cold case".
Back in the present, Barry enters Iris's house and chat up the visiting Captain Frye. It's here we learn that Barry's death and absence has been explained as his being in witness protection (this is all thanks to Wonder Woman's connections in the government). Barry isn't too sure how he feels about any of this... he says that the world moved on while he was gone, denoting that there'll be a bit of difficulty and discomfort if he tries to "pick up where he left off". Also, we mustn't forget that our man believes himself to be on "borrowed time", just waiting to be sucked back into the Speed Force.
The conversation grows more and more uncomfortable before being interrupted by a Wally West phone call. He reports in that the entire Flash family just suffered speed-seizures... which we saw at the very end of the previous ish. From here, Barry and Wally head off to Fallville, Iowa... where a crazy lightning storm is going down. Fallville, by the by, is the town Barry Allen was born in. During the run, Barry mentions that he didn't feel anything when the rest of the Flash Fam was struck with seizures.
Upon arrival, our Speedsters find themselves attacked by Lady Flash. No sooner does Barry lay hands on her than she's rendered into dust. We close out with the revelation that Barry Allen has become the new vessel for the Black Flash.
--
So, you might be asking: Just what in the hell is a Black Flash? Ya know, up until not too long ago, I'd have been asking that same question myself. This is kind of a "deep cut" reveal. The Black Flash doesn't make all that many appearances (though, I swear, at least half of those experiences are somehow considered its "first appearance"... good luck snagging any of those for a decent price). The concept of the Black Flash is pretty interesting... and, we'll be fleshing it out as we go on. Part of me wonders, though... how did this reveal "land" with less savvy/knowledgeable Flash fans back in 2009? I suppose there was always a Wiki or two to peruse.
We're still building the story at this point, though I must say, it's sidestepping the feeling of decompression quite well. Like, somehow not much has happened yet... though, at the same time, lots of stuff has! It's pretty weird, but I'm digging the feel and flow here.
It ain't perfect though.
For one thing, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear this was a conscious effort to wipe out Wally's Rogues Gallery. In two issues, we see the dustification of Savitar and Lady Flash. If I'm Killg%re or Murmur, I know I ain't gonna be in any rush to get involved in this. With the power of hindsight (and the upcoming DC Comics toilet-flush), this is naturally less of a concern/worry... hell, members of Wally's Rogues Gallery actually outlived Wally himself!
The retcons. Hmm... I'm a little bit conflicted. I don't necessarily mind them, but I feel like we're already overdoing it. Not talking about Barry and Iris' first meeting being bumped up a day... that really doesn't hurt much of anything. The Nora Allen murder though... I dunno. Maybe because I know where it's heading... and how it'll be the catalyst for the aforementioned New-52! toilet-flush... but, it already feels like this bit of retcon is, uh, "insisting upon itself", if that makes any sense?
Overall though, I'm still enjoying this. Really, at this point, it's just a story... because, who can even say what's in or out of continuity anymore (the poor Wiki-contributors must be writing themselves in circles every single week with how slipshod, nebulous, and contradictory it all is nowadays). As a story though, it's neat and well-drawn.
Will hopefully get back to this in the coming days... though, if I wind up vanishing into the Speed Force myself, I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas/Holiday Season.
Flash: Rebirth #1 (June, 2009) "Lightning Strikes Twice" Writer - Geoff Johns Art - Ethan Van Sciver Letters - Rob Leigh Colors - Alex Sinclair Edits - Chris Conroy, Joey Cavalieri Cover Price: $3.99
Hey! It's been a minute, hasn't it? Been a bit of a year ova' here... won't bore y'all with my varying tales of 2023 woe, but suffice it to say I haven't really been in the right headspace to blibbuh-blabbah on about comics... or anything, really. Not even sure where I'm "at" right now... just really missing the old Chris is on Infinite Earths "ritual"... missing talking to and at anybody who who pops over to the ol' site... I miss a lot of stuff.
Received my latest DCBS box this past weekend... which makes three I've gotten and haven't even bothered to open! I suppose each one serves as a reminder that I've long neglected all of my pseudo-creative exploits. DCBS boxes loaded to the brim with X-Men books (a family of titles I haven't read in well over a year at this point), and Titans books (my most recent attempt at chatting about comics). I feel kind of ashamed even looking at them, if I'm being honest. Feels like I really let myself (and anyone who found any enjoyment in my nonsense) down.
Hey, didn't I say I wasn't going to bore you? Oh well, sorry 'bout that!
Anyway, today... wanted to start filling in one of my "on purpose" blind spots in DC Comics history. Flash: Rebirth... ya know, the first one. This series hit the shelves at a time where I was both destitute and in the midst of one of my many DC Comics "temper tantrums". If you were subjected to my disastrously depressing Flash Forward review from a few years back, you could probably suss out that I was (and am) a "Wally guy". The idea that they'd bring Barry Allen back (likely shoving Wally aside to do so) wasn't one I wanted to get on board with. It was, in my opinion, bad enough that they demoted Kyle Rayner in favor of Hal a few years earlier. Gone were the fresh new faces (relatively speaking, of course), and back in the saddle were the Silver-Agers who I felt deserved their "retirement" and (at least in the case of Barry) "sainthood" status.
I also tend to (if you'll pardon my preciousness) get a bit too wrapped up in the sorta-kinda hypocrisy of the comics industry when they pull stunts like this. For the entire time I've been into this stuff, the pros and editorial have been almost adversarial toward the fandom... lambasting us for "demanding change" all the while railing against it and yammering on about how new comics/characters aren't as good as the old. I guess it's only okay to kvetch if you're in a position to actually bring back the old stuff? Ehh, I think I think too much.
Anyway (have I already started a paragraph with "Anyway"? Probably...), I feel like it's finally time to take care of this weird blind-spot in my fandom... and figured, why not take some fine folks along with me for the ride? I mean, this was such a "thing" for me that, for the past near decade and a half, I wouldn't even pick up issues of Flash: Rebirth out of the quarter bin! An odd bit of dissonance, considering I picked up the Brightest Day (and New-52! Barry-books) without much reservation. This time around, I managed to find issues 2 thru 6 in buck-bins. The issue we're going to look at as soon as I quit rambling and vamping, however, I had to pay a bit over cover price for... and, to add insult to injury, I wasn't even able to track it down in my usual Phoenician stomping grounds! Happened across it at a shop while on a trip to Omaha, Nebraska a couple weeks back.
So, howsabout I shut up and, together, we hop over the dashes into our spoilery-synopsis?
--
We open in Central City, where a couple of forensics folks are trying to "creatively" solve an open murder case. Ya see, the DNA don't match... however, due to some pressure from the news media, the forensics lead reeeeeeeally wants it to. Needs it to, even. The junior scientist is told, in no uncertain terms, to "make it match". We're seeing this scene play out from the point of view of... someone... holding a lightning-bolt tipped cane. This... someone... launches into the room, and kills both of the lab rats. He then heads over to the shelf o' chemicals in order to recreate Barry Allen's (and I suppose Wally West's) origin... using the lightning-bolt cane as a lightning rod. Looks like it worked too.
We next hop over the bridge to Keystone City, where Linda Park-West is on the air to announce the return of that other Flash (also Bart "Kid Flash" Allen), and that there will be a huge celebration to mark the event. This joyous news isn't met with smiles from a certain group of folks, however... the ol' Rogues ain't too pleased.
From here, we jump into a montage of Flash-return-reactions. Our first stop is the Justice Society brownstone, where Jay Garrick credits Barry with getting him to put the tin pan back on his head after retiring from super-heroics back in the long ago. A neat twist on the story of Barry being inspired by Jay in the first place.
Next, we check in on the poor chump who'd been keeping the seat warm for the last quarter-century (our time). He's at Titans Tower (East) with all his old pals... and the twins. Pardon my projecting, but it almost feels like Wally's being written to be as unlikeable as possible during this scene. I wouldn't suggest that our writer dislikes Wally in any way, considering the excellent run Johns had on Wally's title... and how instrumental he was in bringing him back during the other Rebirth. Still though, Wally doesn't feel right here. I suppose we all adjust to major life-changes in our own ways... and, I guess it wasn't too long ago (in comics time) that Wally was kiiiiiind of a prick.
With Barry's big return, it kind of feels like Bart Allen's own comeback was a bit overshadowed... this all comes after that weird, short-lived, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive series that featured Bart in the titular role. I honestly don't remember where Wally was during that time... I'm sure it had something to do with "dur hur, Flashes don't survive Crisiseseses", especially considering we were pretty much drowning in Crises during the latter half of the 2000's. Anyway, over at Titans Tower (West), Bart is downplaying Barry's return and overall importance to him... which, kind of tracks, considering they never met. Barry is Bart's grandfather... but, hasn't actually been one to him. Bart's upset that Barry's the only Speedster who was able to escape the Speed Force... which, is a reference to how Bart's grandfatherish-figure, Max Mercury, couldn't.
Finally, we head back to Central City... and check in with Iris, who is waiting for Barry to return home. This is where it gets a bit comicbooky... not that I can hold that against it. I mean, for as long as this other Flash has been "gone", so has Barry Allen. It kind of feels like thinking too hard about Clark Kent's whereabouts during the fallout of the Death of Superman. It'll be explained away... kind of brushed under the rug (since that's the only way it can be dealt with), but still feels kind of awkward. Anyway, while Iris waits, she gets a call from Police Captain Frye, who has not only heard that "Barry's back", but is also in dire need of his forensics expertise.
Speaking of Barry being back... howsabout we finally get around to checking in on him, eh? We zip over to the Flash Museum, where our man is kind of taken aback by all the advances in technology and communication since he's been "gone". People with cell phones and whatnot. This is normally something I kind of roll my eyes at, but in this case... I can buy it. This isn't like someone writing a current-year Captain America (check out the 2021-2022 volume of Cap for this) being befuddled and confused at the sight of an iPad... when Cap's been using tablets, holograms, all sorts of wacky tech forever now. While lost in thought, Barry is approached by the other then-recently Rebirthed fella, Hal Jordan. Barry expresses that he feels great discomfort... the memories of his time in the Speed Force are all over the place, and he can't help but to feel as though he wasn't supposed to escape it. Kind of like being on "borrowed time" before the Speed Force sucks him back in.
Meanwhile... in Fallville, Iowa (during our recent Nebraska trip, we did spend about 15 minutes in Council Bluffs, Iowa... just long enough to grab the Iowa Starbuck mug)... we join a couple of boys who happen across the charred remains of a black-suited speedster. Long time Flash fans might assume this is the Black Flash... and well, duh, they'd be right. One of the kids pokes it with a baseball bat, and it turns to dust.
Back to the Flash Museum, where Barry reveals that he will not be attending any of the Flash Celebrations. Hal tries to convince him otherwise, but it's no use. Ya see, with Barry feeling like he's on borrowed time, he needs to make the most of every moment he has left. He then suits up and takes off, stating that the world needs him... and that he can never be late again. Folks might not remember that, despite secretly being the Fastest Man Alive, Barry Allen was famously "late" to pretty much everything.
As he runs, we jump into Flashback Land, where it's revealed (maybe for the first time? I honestly don't know), that when he was very young, Barry's mother was killed... and his father was arrested for the murder. Barry considers this his "white whale" open case. Something he'd really like to solve before getting sucked back into the Speed Force... or, ya know, triggering a Flashpoint toilet-flush.
While Barry recounts the (I assume) retcon, a hand reaches out from the very emblem on his chest. The hand belongs to Savitar, an Speedster baddie, from a time before every-other Flash villain was a Speedster baddie. Barry's never met ol' Sav before, yet remembers seeing him as part of an exhibit at the Museum... and so, he gives chase. Once he catches up, he reaches out to grab him... which turns him to dust! Savitar warns that Barry Allen is the beginning and the end before shuffling off to wherever Speedsters rendered into dust shuffle off to.
We close out with a sort of ripple-effect. Barry doing... whatever it was... to Savitar caused some kind of Speed Force feedback gimmick, which wound up discharging through Wally, Jay, Bart, Irie, Jesse Quick, and the remains of the Black Flash.
--
As is the case with most of my DC (and comics in general) temper-tantrums, I think I really missed out on something special by not experiencing this as it was coming out. Of course, finances (or lack of 'em) being what they were at the time, it wasn't really a possibility... however, I was well on the road to solvency before the 2011 DC Comics toilet flush. I could have, in theory, read (and likely enjoyed) this while it was still "relevant". I used the latter half of 2010 to catch myself up on like 90% of the DC I missed during my engagement with poverty and flirtation with homelessness... and yet, I avoided this like the plague. While I'm (reasonably) sure much of this is still "in continuity", I... ehh, I dunno, nothing really feels like it is anymore, does it? Maybe it's just me.
Hell, for all I know, this entire miniseries has been retconned to somehow include the Joker into the murder of Nora Allen. DC can't seem to go a single issue (a single page!) anymore without an appearance or mention of the guy.
Anyway, howsabout I stop snarking and projecting, and actually start discussing some of my takeaways from this issue!
Let's talk about Barry first. I was never a "Barry guy". Not that I disliked him or anything, I simply didn't know him. What's more, I was so happy with Wally, that I didn't really feel a need to know Barry. I appreciated the "Saint Barry" anecdotes as it always gave Wally something to aspire towards. Dead guys don't get all that many opportunities to let you down... especially those who died while saving the world, right? Barry had his flaws, like everybody does... but, post-Crisis, we tended to focus on "the good". He was an inspiration. He was a legend. And, in my opinion, then (and even now to an extent), he was better off when he was off the canvas.
In the years since Barry's return, I've gone back and read a great deal of Silver and Bronze Age Barry stories... and quite enjoyed them. So, it's not like I don't have any appreciation for the guy. I guess I kind of feel as though, when you're bringing back long-dead characters... especially those who died in ways that shaped so much of the status quo... you might just be out of ideas? Regardless of how good this story is... and how much Barry's return is made to "make sense"... I have a very difficult time mentally taking it out of the "stunt" pile.
That said, I can't say I didn't enjoy Barry's reaction to being "back". The revelation that, even the fastest man alive, can't outrun his own mortality was quite well done. Taking inventory of how the world has changed during the (insert nebulous number here) years he's been Speed Forcin' was nice as well. As I mentioned during the spoilery-synopsis above, that sort of thing can (and has been) a sticking point for me. A real immersion killer. In fact, it was one of those things that ended my Marvel Zombiedom during (the first, less garbage... but still garbage) Civil War. Captain America was made to look "out of touch" by not knowing what a Facebook is. As though Facebook "happened" while Cap was on-ice... Cap was made to look like a buffoon, and... much like the entirety of that event, it just felt phony to me. More recently (as mentioned), Cap didn't know what an iPad was... which, come on. Not even the slipperiest of sliding timescales makes that work.
The Black Flash appearance was especially cool (and eerily relevant) to me, as I just recently completed my Flash (vol.2) collection, picking up a couple of those Millar Black Flash issues (which were shockingly expensive) to finally wrap up the run. Haven't read them yet, but timing being what it is, thought it was really neat to see his remains (?) here! Odd sidenote, I think there are like 3 issues that are all considered the "first appearance" of the Black Flash... which is probably why all those books are so spendy.
Anyway, not much more to say without going into wild(ly out of date) speculation, so I'll wrap it up here for now. Despite my precious reservations, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes. I'm enjoying seeing Barry meeting Wally baddies. I like how this feels like a true "event", in a time when the word has... basically lost all meaning. This is the sort of story Geoff Johns was born to write, and Ethan Van Sciver's work here was quite good. I know EVS is a divisive dude, and I don't always love his work... I find it a bit too, I dunno, "severe" sometimes... but, this is (in my opinion) really nice stuff.
We'll talk more Flash: Rebirth soon... unless I wind up getting sucked into the Speed Force (which, in fairness, is the last unchecked box on my 2023 BINGO card)!
Batman and Robin #1 (August, 2009) "Batman Reborn, Part One: Domino Effect" Writer - Grant Morrison Art - Frank Quitely Colors - Alex Sinclair Letters - Patrick Brosseau Assistant Editor - Janelle Siegel Editor - Mike Marts Cover Price: $2.99 As a fan of a certain age, I sometimes find myself playing that game. You know the one... where you look at a cover-date of a book... subtract it from now, and realize just how much time has passed since the thing hit shelves/the first time you read it. It's a horrid little game, and I recommend nobody ever play it. Well, okay... just this once. I'm sitting here pretty dumbfounded that this issue came out... a decade ago! Holy cow. I mean, it's pre-Flashpoint, so it's at least seven-eight years old... that much I ought to know! But seeing the date there... starin' at me. It's enough to make one question what they've done with their life! Or maybe I'm projecting. Also, the cover reminds me of McDonalds... maybe I'm just talkin' out my backside at this point so let's just get to it! --
We open during Mr. Toad's wild ride... ya see, there's this frog-faced fella called Mr. Toad, and he's trying to evade the Batmobile. Unfortunately for him, there have been some improvements made to the ol' rig... for instance, it can fly now!
We hop inside the Batmobile, where Batman (Dick Grayson) is apologizing to Robin (Damian Wayne) for ever doubting the enhancements made to the car. They wind up running Mr. Toad off the road, and into the drink. Our amphibious new friend emerges from the drink holding a briefcase...
... unfortunately for him, he does this right at the feet of the new Dynamic Duo! They wallop him with their fists... which sends the contents of his briefcase flyin' all ova da place! Turns out, the case was full of... dominoes?
When Mr. Toad wakes up, he is blindfolded and is being dangled by his ankles high above Gotham City. Well, he thinks he's high above Gotham... he's actually just a couple of feet off the ground. Dick tries getting some information out of him... and, while I'm not sure what this geek is muttering about, he seems to get it (we later find out that it's "circus-speak". He drops Toad on the dock and takes off.
We flash back to a scene at Wayne Manor. Dick and Alfred are talking about the recent passing of the Man of the House. Dick comments that he never really considered being "next in line" for the cape and cowl (despite all that Prodigal stuff). After a trip to the cemetery, Alfred assures him that Bruce is and was always proud of him.
Back to the present, and we're at the Wayne Enterprises Building. Dick and Damian are in the down-below taking care of some Bat-Business. While Damian tinkers s'more with the Batmobile, Dick continues expressing trepidation about being Batman... and also, doing some research, while images of "ferocious" chicken and jalapeno sandwiches dance in his head. Damian notes Dick's reluctance and offers to take up the Bat-mantle himself. Yeah, not yet kid.
As Batman and Robin head into out, we briefly check in on a Toad-hauling paddy-wagon. Mr. Toad warns the Officers that he's got friends... and Gotham City will soon belong to them. Meanwhile, some creepy-looking people in Raggedy Ann masks emerge from a carnival tent.
We hop over to the roof of the GCPD, where Commissioner Gordon has illuminated the Bat-Signal. He is joined by a pair of incredulous Officers... they've lit the thing every night for months at this point, and nobody ever shows up. Well, that all changes tonight.
As Batman and Robin show up on the roof, down below a... burning man (Phosphorous Rex) arrives on the scene. Officers rush over to give him a hand (remember, he's on fire)... and get burned out for their troubles.
We shift scenes to the tiny apartment of an immigrant family. We meet a man, who was an associate (and passenger) of Mr. Toad... who happened to get away after they were run off the road (earlier this issue). He is frantically packing and telling his daughter, Sasha that they've got to beat a hasty retreat. He's escaped Batman once... and he's not interested in tempting fate.
He is interrupted by a knocking at the door. He goes to answer it... and sees that it's his brother (and fellow Toad-ssociate) Lev. He opens the door wider, and discovers that it's actually those Raggedy Anns from the tent!
Next thing we know... the fellow wakes up strapped to a table. He's approached by a man in a butcher's smock and a grotesque Pig mask. This is Professor Pyg. He waited for the man to wake up before performing his "de-uglifying" process, during which he places a white-hot doll mask on his face. It's an absolutely brutal-looking process.
Ya see, Pyg sees his doll-faced army as being the embodiment of "perfection"... which might tell ya just a little bit about how twisted this guy is.
What's more... he ain't done yet! He tells the fella that his daughter, Sasha... is next! Oh, and also... that he's going to assist with the "perfecting" process!
-- Pretty excellent first outing here! This was one I recall being excited for back in... ye old 2009. I loved the idea of the Batman and Robin dynamic to be sorta turned on its ear. Having a super-serious Robin in Damian alongside a more lighthearted Batman in Dick was definitely something I was ready for... and it delivered. Rather than being a student-teacher, or superior-subordinate relationship... these are two fellas learning their way... together. Damian as a hero, and Dick as the hero. Professor Pyg is one of the only villains in comics that actually kinda makes my skin crawl. This is a creepy and twisted dude. There's that saying that the best bad guys actually believe themselves to be good guys. Here, we have Pyg trying to impose his version of "perfection" on people... he truly believes he's bringing people to their "best possible form". It's a visceral, brutal... and permanent change, and somehow, despite only knowing Sasha Whatsherface for like two pages, we fear for her! It's some pretty great work. Speaking of great work, I can't believe we're one-thousand and seventy-five days into this blog... and we've never featured Frank Quitely! The sheer terror on Sasha's face really tells the tale here... a truly excellent (and horrifying) scene! Really, this was a top-flight book. Excellent production all around... really feels like the "standard bearer" for DC Comics at the time. Suppose I wouldn't be me if I didn't kvetch about the Morrison Bat-Epic being derailed by the cosmic toilet flush that was The New-52!, right? Of course, if we were to go by DC's official stance, the reboot was already well in the planning stages by this point anyway. Ahem... of course. Overall, this is one I'd certainly recommend checking out... probably best read in trade form (aren't they all this side of 2000?). Available digitally. -- (Not the) Letters Page:
Scooby-Doo! #139 (February, 2009) "It's a Wonderful Fright!" "Velma's Monsters of the World: The Yeti!" "Santa's Evil Elves" Writers - Alex Simmons, John Rozum, & Robbie Busch Art - Robert Pope, Dan Davis, & Scott Jeralds Colors - Heroic Age Letters - John J. Hill Editor - Michael Siglain Cover Price: $2.50 Today's going to be an interesting one... never been much of a Scooby-Doo! fan, I honestly can't think of the last time I'd actually seen an episode of it. My most recent run-in with the property was reviewing Scooby Apocalypse for Weird Science DC Comics... and hoo boy, I remember hating that. That was a whole nother animal though... and doesn't really "count". That said, there's no way that this will be anywhere near as painful as that. --
Our first story opens with Scooby and Shaggy running from a phantasm called "The Plotter". They are chased into a large creepy house on a hill. Shaggy locks them inside the place, all the while wishing he'd never even heard of things like ghosts, or phantoms, or even... Mystery, Inc.! You see where this one's headed, right?
The guys fall down a flight of stairs... and when Shaggy comes to, they head out to find their friends. Unfortunately for them, they run into a weird blue astronaut-looking monster... but, oddly enough, it's one that the recognize!
Shaggy and Scooby make their way into town, where they run into Daphne... and guess what? She doesn't recognize them. Not only that, she doesn't know Velma or Freddie... and she's never heard of Mystery, Inc.! She admits that she enjoys solving mysteries... but seems almost embarrassed by it. Their confusing chat is interrupted by a clown-baddie (who they also recognize).
Running away, the guys rush smack-dab into... Freddie, who's looking like the King of all Crossing Guards. He's trying to direct traffic, and he tells Shaggy that he too, never heard of Mystery, Inc., and since he was a High School jock, nobody took him seriously when he suggested he wanted to solve crimes. They're, of course, interrupted by the arrival of a few more familiar ghouls.
Scooby and Shaggy rush into a nearby van... and wouldja lookit that, Velma's inside! You know the drill, she doesn't know nothin' about no Mystery, Inc. (though she does call her van "The Mystery Machine"), and while she's interested in inventing stuff, nobody has ever taken her serious enough for her to actually put her thoughts into action.
Shaggy realizes that nobody remembers Mystery, Inc. because he wished it away! It's also why all of these familiar ghouls are wandering about... without "those meddling kids" around to catch 'em, they're still causing trouble! He and Scooby rush back to the house on the hill to try and make things right again. On their way, they are tossed off a bridge by a gaggle of baddies. Before we know it, Shaggy wakes up in the basement of that ramshackle house.
Shaggy, somehow, uses his dream to deduce that Mr. Scamlin is behind the whole thing. Ya see, dude wanted to scare people out of the area so he could build an amusement park... which, honestly sounds a whole lot cooler than some creepy disheveled houses! How did Shaggy figure this whole thing out? Um, well... if you can tell me, I'd appreciate it!
Our next story is a shorty, featuring Velma dropping some knowledge about the Yeh-tay. It's only two pages, and ends with Shaggy asking how the snowman he and Scooby built looks... to which, Velma says it's "Abominable". Geddit?
Our third and final story opens with Shaggy acting as the world's weirdest Mall Santa. The rest of Mystery, Inc. comments that the security guard, Felix, has been on the job as long as they can remember, and they have a feeling that this is his final Holiday Season. Felix is accepting some donations for the Children's Christmas Charity Fund.
Suddenly, some creepy elves descend on the mall, and snatch Shaggy Claus's sleigh!
These little jerks mean business too, the sleigh is hooked up to a waiting helicopter, and Shaggy is flown "all the way" to the North Pole. It's really just a nearby cave with a sign... but, Shaggy's really not the brightest knife in the shed. Inside the "North Pole", our man meets a young lady...
... who's actually the horrible creep, Cindy Claws! I mean, really... "Auntie Claws" was right there. Anyhoo, she reveals that she swiped Shaggy so she can get inside the mall vault and steal the Children's Christmas Charity Fund. What a heel! She promises Shaggy all of the Roast Beast he can eat... which, nearly sways him, before he realizes that those kids gotta eat too.
As the Mystery Machine trudges its way up the snowy mountain, Shaggy gives up the combination to the mall safe... and passes out. Or, does he? No sooner do the baddies leave, then he wakes up.
Just then, his pals show up. Since Shaggy is a dope, he mistakes them for more baddies... and tries to escape before they can mess with him more. The sleigh flies out of the cave, and snags Scooby along the way. They zip all the way down the mountain, right back into the mall.
They rescue Felix the Mall Cop, and look on as the naughty elves crack that safe...
... from which, emerges a great big Santa Claus projection! This scares the baddies straight... or, at least, freaks them out long enough for them to be caught. Ya see, Shaggy gave up the combination so easily because he knew what they'd find in the safe. The safe was booby-trapped because Felix had mentioned that a creepy lady and her creepy kids had been casing the joint for weeks. Good thing it turned out that a grown monster woman was scared of Santa Claus!
-- Anytime we look at a "kids" book, I invariably feel like a complete boob for trying to "analyze" it. So, let's preface with a simple question... Would a child enjoy this comic book? Yeah, I bet they would. It's well drawn, and the stories are suitably silly and compelling. With that out of the way... let's start overthinking things! If you don't reveal plot elements until the very end of a story... you're not really "setting anything up", ya dig? In our bookend stories, we get these "reveals"... which, I mean... I'm not sure we can even call them that, because we weren't given any hints along the way. There's really no "a-ha! moment", despite both stories ending with an "a-ha!". Looking at the first story, Old Man Scamlin wanted to buy up all the dilapidated real estate to build an amusement park. Dunno, that just sounds awesome, doesn't it? Anyhoo, the only hints of this is that all of the buildings we see have "For Sale" signs on 'em. That's all well and good... but, doesn't the entirety of the middle of this story take place inside Shaggy's delusion? I mean, we're playing with the It's a Wonderful Life gimmick, right? So, Shaggy running into his pals (who don't recognize him) is part of his dream, right? I dunno... I'm overthinking it. Speaking of which, do the same with the final story. We learn (at the very end) that Felix noticed Cindy and her Sons lurking around the mall for a little while, which is why the safe was booby-trapped... but, that's not a reveal, right? Not really, anyway. Okay, that's enough outta me. This was an issue that I'm sure the people it's written for (it is a DCKids book, after all) would really enjoy. -- Interesting Ads:
