ACW #641 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #641 (Phantom Lady)
"Lady Lost"
Writer - Len Strazewski
Pencils - Chuck Austen
Inks - Gary Martin
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mark Waid

Today we put another feature to bed... forever!  Only four more to go!

--

We open with Dee ploppin' the file full'a photos on her father's desk.  He's happy to have them back... until he flips through to that one with the Ku Klux Klan.  We learn that the young man in the photo was... him!  Now, ya see... he never palled around with the Klan, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  It was actually Dee's Daddy's brother Beau who was all in with the bad guys.  One night he was out to "scare" a young black man who had eyes for a white woman.  Rather than "scare" him... well, they actually lynched him.  Dee's Daddy was along for the ride, and got caught in a series of compromising photos.

Like seriously, the Klansmen snapped a picture of him next to the victim... and told him to keep his mouth shut, or it would be released.  Dee asks how Guerrehart could have gotten his hands on it... to which, her Daddy is sure that Brother Beau happily handed 'em over.

We get a bit more of Dee's Daddy's secret origin.  Shortly after the lynching, he'd run away from home... join the Navy, and wound up in Paris.  This is where he'd meet Dee's mother.  Whirlwind romance, marriage, the whole deal would follow.  Daddy would ascend to power as the Attorney General... Mom would pass away, but not before having a child.

Dee asks what he wants to do about the pictures... and so, Daddy decides he's run from the truth for far too long.  Rather than engage in another cover-up, he decides it's time to "go public".  He resigns his position.

We wrap up with a blinded Guerrehart swearing vengeance on the Phantom Lady.  Next time she shows her face... she'll be dead.  Dead.  You hear me, DEAD!

--

Okay, this ended a lot better than I thought it might.  The entire arc feels kind of like an issue of Secret Origins... which isn't necessarily a bad thing... it just makes me wonder why it wasn't just that.  Guess we had to burn off pages before Action Comics returns to normal... and there are worse ways to do that (see The Demon).

Really not a whole heckuva lot to say about this chapter or this arc.  It was inoffensive... and sometimes that's a "plus" in and of itself.  The final panel asks folks to write in if they wanna see more Phantom Lady.  Gonna guess very few people did... can't say whether or not this Guerrehart storyline ever comes up again, and also can't say whether or not that bothers me all that much.

Overall, I think Dee's a pretty cool character... but I don't really see her "carrying" a title.  I guess that's what Action Comics Weekly is all about, innit?

Tomorrow: Say Hello (and Goodbye) to the Human Target!

ACW #640 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #640 (Phantom Lady)

"Lady of the House"

Writer - Len Strazewski

Pencils - Chuck Austen

Inks - Gary Martin

Letters - John Costanza

Colors - Glenn Whitmore

Editor - Mark Waid

Welcome to the next part of our Penultimatum!  The second-to-last Phantom Lady chapter awaits us!

--

We open with the Phantom Lady pole-vaulting over the barbed-wire wall of Guerrehart's compound.  Not sure why she didn't just start her search here, but whattayagonnado?  Anyhoo, she lands... and is immediately attacked by a pair of guard dogs.  She thinks to herself how she never realized he'd have guard dogs... I mean, you just pole-vaulted over barbed wire to get here, shouldn't you just assume there's more to this evil mastermind's security detail?  Also, wasn't she just here for a party?  Oh, worth noting, she's wearing the "night vision" version of her usual eyewear... and it looks a lot like Cyclops' visor.

After monkey-flipping the pups, she climbs up the side of stately Guerrehart manor.  She lets herself in, and proceeds to stomp through the joint.  She approaches Mr. Guerrehart's office... and, the door is unlocked.  Maybe I gave this guy too much credit in the security department.  Anyhoo, she finds a wall safe... and fiddles with it until it opens... all the while, she left the office door wide open.  That doesn't seem smart.  Over an intercom, Guerrehart congratulates P.L. for getting into his safe... before siccing his caveman bodyguard on her.

They wrestle around for a bit... with our gal Dee ultimately getting the upper hand.

Just then, Guerrehart himself enters the room... pistol in hand.  Rather than just shooting the home invader at point-blank range, he decides it's time to have a little chat.  He slowly approaches, to get a better look at her... as her Cyclops' visor had been knocked off in the skirmish.  He recognizes her... but doesn't get the opportunity to boast all that much.  Dee blasts him in the face with her wrist-laser gimmick... cracks a really bad joke... and nonchalantly exits the scene!

We wrap up... with a full-page panel.  Dee is back at her apartment, looking through photos (presumably from the safe).  On them, it would appear that Klansman are lynching a man.  Dee might just recognize somebody in these pics!

--

I feel like this is a story that isn't sure what it wants to be.  Are we playing "serious"?  Are we evoking "silly"?  Is this a four-color spy/intrigue/action movie?  Just what is it?

I'll tell ya what it isn't... "all that good".

This is the fifth chapter of this arc... and we (and our hero) knew who the bad dude was in the first.  We spent the three week interim lollygagging around Washington, D.C. just killing pages.  It's hard for me to hold "meandering" against this story, considering it's part of the latter half of Action Comics Weekly, where meandering was probably part of the storytelling "mission statement", but all's I'm saying is... this could have been told better.  Whether or not it's a story worth telling/experiencing is a matter of opinion, but... it could have been a lot better.

Let's touch briefly on the art... Chuck Austen has some real trouble evoking action.  All of his figures look as though they're poorly articulated action figures on displayed in a shoe box diorama.  There is zero energy here... and it's hard to assign "impact" to anything that happens.

For Dee's findings... I guess we'll leave them be for the moment.  I will admit that I've never read this arc before now, so I couldn't tell ya where it's headed.  I have a sneaking suspicion... probably the same one anyone reading has, but... for now, the "jury's still out".

As little pleasure as I'm getting from this feature, I will say that it's easier to follow than a lot of what we've gotten in ACW.  That might not be saying much... but at least it's something!

Tomorrow: Crackhouse Blues

ACW #639 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #639 (Phantom Lady)
"Belle of the Ball"
Writer - Len Strazewski
Pencils - Chuck Austen
Inks - Gary Martin
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mark Waid

It's Phantom Lady day... and, there's not a whole lot to say.

--

We open with Phantom Lady having a bit of breakfast and checking out the news headline of her saving the Vice President and Speaker of the House.  Worth noting, she's still in costume... complete with domino mask... sitting in her own damn kitchen.  Her roommate, Sarah walks in, and we learn that... as luck would have it, that rotten Guerrehart is having a costume ball that very evening.  Now, since Phantom Lady is the hottest thing in town, Dee is certain there'll be plenty of locals dressed as her... making it that much easier for her to slip in undetected.

Late, a limousine arrives to pick Dee up and sweep her away to the soiree.  Her "date" for the evening is ramblin' Roger... and he looks to be dressed like... I dunno, maybe Speedy?  They plan to find out what G-hart's got on her daddy.

Inside the gala, sure 'nuff there are a bunch of Phantom Ladies... including Dee's old friend, Marie... who recognizes her immediately!  Gotta say, that doesn't say much for the efficacy of this costume, now does it?  Mr. Guerrehart and his "heavy" note that there are a lot of Phantom Ladies present this evening...

After a brief and ambiguous conversation, Guerrehart breaks away and retires to his study.  Dee discreetly follows, leaving Marie in Roger's... uh, capable (?) hands.  Upon arrival at the study, Dee spies her daddy, dressed like Humpty Dumpty... with a gun!  He squeezes a round off into Guerrehart's chest... only to learn the suit of armor the dude's wearing isn't just for show.  G-hart's heavy clobbers Dee's Daddy with his club.

Dee causes a ruckus outside the office, and uses her hologram button-thingie to "shape shift" into a little girl, who's just looking for the turlet.  The bodyguard... get this... just leaves the office.  What we see is Guerrehart flipping through his files while Dee's Daddy is laid out on the floor.  Door's wide open, by the way.  I thought this dude was supposed to be this criminal mastermind?  Oh well, Phantom Lady takes this opportunity to strike, and zaps the baddie in the neck with her... zappy thing.

Dee carries her Daddy out of the soiree... and along the way runs into the bodyguard.  Lucky for her, Marie is in position to... shoot the heavy through the hand?  That's a bit extreme, innit?  Oh well.  We wrap up with Dee and Roger tossing Daddy into the limo, and taking off.

--

Wow, this one just keeps getting better and better, now doesn't it?

Okay, no... notsomuch.

I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to think of anything to say about this chapter... and, I'm sorry... I'm just at a loss.  It's not like it was aggressively bad or anything... just pretty un-noteworthy.

My main takeaway here is... Guerrehart is a really dumb villain.  For a criminal mastermind with his fingers wrapped around the throat of the beltway... he's really quite a dunderhead.  You'd figure he'd not leave the door to his study wide open... or, actually... forget that... you'd assume he wouldn't make it so any of his guests could get within 100 feet of his study to begin with!  What an idiot.

Marie was pretty cool... though, I don't think it's in her best interests to start firing off shots at a Washington, D.C. mansion featuring a who's who of government officials.  I think we have to assume she was promptly arrested and held on charges of terrorism... if not sniped outright.  Just dumb.

The art... is still weird.  The faces seem to get cartoonier each week... and yet, such loving care and attention is paid to... well, a certain other part of the anatomy.  I mean, look at that panel where Dee and Marie hug... all pressed together... so much care put into such a sliver of a panel.  Oh well... you know what they say about Action Comics Weekly: There's something for everyone!

Tomorrow: After the Fire

ACW #638 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #638 (Phantom Lady)
"Toast of the Capitol"
Writer - Len Strazewski
Pencils - Chuck Austen
Inks - Gary Martin
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mark Waid

I come to you today from... a weird place.  In fact, it's a brand new place.  Well, kinda... ya see, yesterday morning... just a few moments after wrapping up the Superman piece, I retired to the couch to finish up on some light reading about Applied Behavior Analysis for class.

So, I'm sittin' there, right?  Kinda rested into the corner of the couch... got my feet up on the coffee table.  Get about a chapter deep into the day's reading, when I decide... maybe I'd be more comfortable if I were sitting on the other end of the couch.  Don't know why I'd think that way... it's not like there was anything impeding my current comfort levels.

Whatever the case, I decide to scoot to the other side.  In so doing, I kinda bounce my butt over... and slowly (ever so slowly) swing my legs over to the side I was moving from.  Well... as my legs swung from left to right... they whacked (remember, ever so slowly) into my coffee cup... which in turn, spilled allllllllllllllllllllllllll over my laptop.

And... again, I can't state enough just how softly the impact was... it was like being in a car crash.  I watched as the cup slowly tipped over... and every drop of my coffee spilled in between the keys on the keyboard.  Dumbfounded, I sat there staring at it for a few seconds... then realized... oh crap (well, I didn't say 'crap') I'd better do something!

I picked up the cup... and set it down next to the laptop.  I picked up the laptop, and flipped the sucker over in hopes that the thing would drain out.  When I flipped the laptop... get this, I hit the friggin' coffee cup again, spilling what little was left all over my phone and Apple TV remote!  Are ya kidding me?!  Luckily (for the phone and remote), there wasn't too much coffee left over.

I let the laptop "bleed out" for the better part of an hour.  I thought about grabbing a hair dryer, but the only one we have blows hot... didn't think that would be best.  After waiting... and wiping, I was left with a squeaky clean laptop... that, well... no longer worked.

Well, the keyboard didn't work anyway.  The touchscreen... sorta worked, so I was able to at least get some files where I wanted them to be... and, unfortunately, do some price-checking on a new rig.

I wound up picking up just a newer version of what I already had (an HP Envy).  Found a new laptop... with a ton more features than my six year-old unit... which costs probably less than half of what I paid for that one back in 2012 or so!

So... today's piece is dedicated to my old laptop.  We had a lot of good times together... we graduated college together, we started a blogging and podcasting dealie together, it's the end of an era.  I didn't mean to kill ya... I promise!  I'll still use you as a backup tablet, should the need ever arise!

So, that was my Saturday... how was yours?

--

Our story picks up as Dee arrives at the Capitol.  The weaselly Roger Richter is there waiting for her... and, well, he sees right through her disguise.  Not sure if it was due to her comically over-sized shades falling off, or if maybe Roger is a bit too obsessed with the young Ms. Tyler.  Anyhoo, they're there just as a trio of ninjas terrorists have kidnapped the (Vice) President (and Speaker of the House)... it's now up to them to prove that they're bad enough dudes/dudettes to rescue the Veep!  Worth noting, this VP looks nothing like George Bush nor Dan Quayle... so I'm not sure when this is supposed to be happening.

Dee plans her next move, and decides to go with... well, her only move to this point, the little hologram projector she has on her suit.  She engages her holo-brooch, and charges toward the baddies.  Only, they see her as an absolute army of Phantom Ladies!  Oh, also... Dee's cabbie calls her Phantom Lady, because he drove the original around back in the 40's.

She gets the drop on the goons, which is all well and good.  Unfortunately, Roger Richter attempts to prove what a stud he is by running in waving his la pistola around.  This gets him swooshed in flames by the giant armor-wearing terrorist.  Dee delivers a missile drop kick, hurting her foot in the process.  Whoops.

The cabbie gets involved and tackles one of the smaller terrorists, before succumbing to the sheer number of 'em.  There were, two of them, by the way.  With the cabbie on the ground, one kicks him with such force that... I dunno, if you have small children around, you might want to shield their eyes.  I've never seen a beating like this before.  I mean, look at the hatred and vitriol behind this kick.  I will see this every time I close my eyes for awhile.

Back by the steps, Dee is in the clutches of the armored goon... and he proceeds to squeeze the stuffin' out of her.  Here's another panel that makes me feel uncomfortable, but for a different reason.  Feels like Chuck Austen spent a little too much time and effort getting this one "just right".

Anyhoo, ahem... Phantom Lady uses that little wrist-mounted laser to bore a hole into the metal-man's head, and he finally lets go.

The li'l terrorists go to flee, and so Dee makes a hologram of a van barreling toward them.  This causes them to swerve into a light pole.

We wrap up with the metal man removing his helmet... and revealing that, you guessed it, Guerrehart is behind the whole thing!  Who's Guerrehart?  Well, he's the only bad guy we've met to this point, so naturally he's the brains of the operation.

--

Hmm...

This is a weird one, because... I kinda feel like it's not that great, but I can't lie... I'm having a lot of fun with it.  It's just so silly and, I dunno... for a story about terrorists, it's kinda "light".  Even the Austen art, which I know isn't all that great... I'm really enjoying!  It just fits the tone of the story... if that makes any sense.  It might not make any sense, actually... because I couldn't even put into words what I think the "tone" of the story is!

I still find Dee's costume to be pretty ridiculous... however, with the way she's drawn, I'm not entirely convinced it's not supposed to be a bit "much"... and by "much" I mean "way too little".  It, again, fits the nebulous "tone" of the story.

I appreciate the all-too-brief callback to the original Phantom Lady.  That connective tissue, for whatever reason, really aids in my enjoyment.  I know I can drone on (and on) about my affinity for "lore", but... ey, I am what I am... and I know what I like.

Overall... this was an okay chapter, that I probably enjoyed way too much... and probably for all of the wrong reasons.  I think this is the halfway point for ol' Dee... so, we're rapidly approaching our climax!

Tomorrow: Burning Down the House!

ACW #637 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #637 (Phantom Lady)
"Luck be a Lady"
Writer - Len Strazewski
Pencils - Chuck Austen
Inks - Gary Martin
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mark Waid

Today marks the end of my travels... so, good God willin', by the time you're all reading this, I'm on a plane headed back to the desert.

Let's Phantom Lady!

--

We open with a trench-coated Dee Tyler flashing a bouncer in order to gain entry into a night club.  Dude is bamboozled and gobsmacked by the sight, and gives her the "thumbs up".  Inside the joint, we get probably the second cringiest "ta-da" costume reveal that we've seen in the pages of Action Comics Weekly (just a peg below Dinah's new-look Canary costume early on in her run).  The fellas inside can't help but fawn over her in any case.

She chats up the bartender, looking for information on a man named Farid.  The barkeep plays dumb, until she offers him a little bit of "Vitamin C"... as in, a C-Note.  His memory miraculously returns... and he starts spillin' the beans.  He also, for whatever reason, gives her a vial of a strange liquid.  She proceeds to pour it into her drink... and, again, for whatever reason, slides the thing across the bar... smashing into some other guys' drinks.  I... feel like I'm missing something here.  Was this supposed to come across as "bad ass" or something?  Because, it didn't.

We follow Dee into Farid's office, where we learn that this specimen has something to do with the arms deal we heard a little bit about last week.  He isn't completely forthcoming with information.  In fact, when she mentions Guerrehart, Farid plays dumb.

Dee is able to use her feminine wiles to get him to come around.  She learns that there will be some Senators doing something at the Capitol.  Not sure exactly what they're going to be doing... but, I'm sure it'll be important for the story!  Farid goes to wrap his arms around our Phantom Lady... only to discover that she's a hologram, maaaaaaan.  Looks like Dee's roommate, Sarah is a holographic genius, or something.

Farid responds by... pulling a gun!  Yikes.  Dee narrowly escapes the night club, beating down goons all along the way.  We wrap up with her hopping into a cab, and telling the hack to floor it to the Capitol.

--

This... really isn't all'at great, is it?

At first blush, this feels like just a series of cool/"bad ass" moments, strung together by a pretty weak narrative.  Like, we're supposed to come away from this thinking that Dee is just the coolest character around... but at the same time, it's so over-the-top that it comes across as more dorky than anything.

That over-the-top-ness leads to a severe lack in subtlety... everyone here feels like a cartoon character.  Chuck Austen's art here doesn't help matters much either.  I mean, look at this murderer's row of dorkiness we meet here!  From the bouncer to the barkeep to Farid himself... eesh.  Dooooooooorks.

On that note... the big costume reveal.  Yikes.  Reminiscent of Dinah's post-burning ta-da from back in the day.  I will say, at least this reveal didn't make coffee shoot out of my nose like that one did.  If you need a refresher/reminder... here ya go:

Yeah, still can't help but to hear that RuPaul song!  Yikes.

Tomorrow: Life as a Lookout

ACW #636 - Phantom Lady

Action Comics Weekly #636 (Phantom Lady)
"Daddy's Girl"
Writer - Len Strazewski
Pencils - Chuck Austen
Inks - Gary Martin
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mark Waid

Oh, what a day... for the first time in kind of a long time, we're going to be meeting a brand-new member of the Action Comics Weekly family... the Phantom Lady!  Can you contain the excitement?!  Didn't think so!

--

We open during a graduation... I was going to assume this was for college, considering the age of the graduates... then, a few panels in, I thought it might be the police academy,  but we're going to learn that it's a more specialized institution.  Whatever the case, our Phantom Lady and her friend are waiting to hear their names called... and make it known to the reader that they ain't wearing anything but their guns under the gown.  Not sure what the point of that is... but, we'll allow it.  We jump ahead several weeks to Dee reuniting with her daddy... an Attorney General in Washington, D.C.  He's happy to see her, and introduces her to his aide, Roger Richter before kicking them both out of his office.

In the hallway, Dee and Rog become a little more acquainted... with the latter informing the former that her daddy's been acting pretty weird lately.  Also, something about an "arms deal" that I'm guessing we'll find out more about before long.  Before he can explain, however, they are interrupted by the arrival of Edwin Guerrehart, a D.C. lobbyist, and his "heavy" a caveman-looking bruiser named Gronk.  From the sounds of it, Edwin seems to have a lot of influence in the beltway... he even beat a manslaughter charge!  The lobbyist bursts into Dee's Daddy's office.

Dee waits outside for the meeting to wrap, and as Edwin and Gronk make their exit, she trips them up with an umbrella.  She then jams the point of the thing into the back of Guerrehart's neck, promising to run it right through if he makes the slightest move.  She threatens him to back off.

We wrap up with Dee reuniting with an old friend (and her new roommate), Sarah Somethin-or-nother.  She a student at Georgetown... and, that's about all we know.  Anyhoo, that night, Dee practices her yoga or tai chi... or whatever it is she's doing, before asking if she can "use" some of the leftover boards from their new IKEA furniture.  After getting the thumbs up, Dee savata kicks right through one of em... before asking if she can next use the bricks.

--

Here's the thing... this wasn't very good.  I mean, it was kinda silly, kinda dumb... but, I dunno... I kinda liked it?

It felt very low-stakes... and, almost like I was reading a book from the !mpact Comics line... which, considering it's Strazewski, it makes sense.  Chuck Austen's pencils here even evoke an "impacty" feel.

So, whatta we got here?  Well, Dee Tyler is our Phantom Lady.  A recent graduate of... uh, Ninja High School?  Maybe?  I dunno.  She also might be a nudist?  That bit felt kind of out of place, though I suppose if we're trying to establish what makes this lady tick, it's not the worst thing.  She throws one helluva kick too... so, there's that.

Her father is a D.A. in D.C., and he's been acting a bit erratically of late.  He's stressed out due to some "arms deal"... and is regularly barged in on by lobbyists and their simian heavies.  I guess that's going to be the "meat" of this arc... so, I may as well make peace with it.

And, that's really about it.  I think this is going to wind up being a six-parter... and there are definitely worse "chapter ones" out there... many of which we've already covered here!  Fingers crossed this one stays fun.

Tomorrow: Welcome Back, Jack!