Action Comics Weekly #641 (Phantom Stranger)
"Tommy's Monster"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez
Letters - Tim Harkins
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
Trudging ever closer to the end, and we get a... Phantom Stranger story? Oh, c'mon... why? Is this really necessary?
--
We open with a boy named Tommy Jones hopping into bed, grabbing his Illustrated Edition of Grimm's Fairy Tales. He peers at an image of a dragon, and wouldn'tcha know it... at that very moment a nearby drug store goes up in flames. I'm sure there's no connection. So, you might be asking: just who is this "Tommy" anyway? Well, he's just some kid... who always finds himself being hassled by grown-ups. He can't walk across their fences, or read comics in the store (It ain't a liberry, after all!). He's just a kid... with a bone to pick.
The next day, just as the Phantom Stranger himself arrives in town, we see the woman who shooed Tommy off her fence settling in to watch some television. Suddenly, there's a rumbling... and before we know it, her house is destroyed! Before the walls come toppling down, however, she notices a great big beast stood outside her window... and it appeared to be taking direction from that no-good Tommy Jones!
When the Police arrive, the old lady tells them that Tommy's responsible... and so, they follow up at the kid's house. Naturally, upon arrival, they find the kid "fast asleep" in bed. "Fast asleep", that is, until the Phantom Stranger arrives to conduct an interrogation of his own!
The Stranger calls the kid out on being a little jerk, and causing all of the recent destruction. Tommy's all "screw this noise" and bails out the window. Unfortunately for us, this was just a first floor window... and so, the story must continue. As the Stranger goes to give chase, he is nearly struck by a giant reptilian tail that crashes through the house!
Outside, we see Tommy riding on the back of a great big dragon (named Rudolph). The Stranger appears right in their path... and so, the great beast breathes fire right at him. Of course, this isn't very effective.
The Phantom Stranger pleads with the boy to stop being a little jerk, and points out all of the people he is hurting with his supernatural delinquency. When he mentions Tommy's own parents, the kid seems to snap out of it... and the dragon vanishes. He falls into the Stranger's arms... and thankfully, we out!
--
I feel like, over these past 1,400 or so days, I've discovered some "chestnuts" that I pop into my writing more often than I realized. Just little turns-of-phrase, or plays on words that... without 'em, this blog would probably be much shorter. So, stop me if you've heard this before: "Not much to say about this one...".
The first time I flipped through this issue, in preparation for what was to come, I took one look at li'l Tommy Jones, and figured we were in for a "Send 'em to the Cornfield" sort of situation. And... I groaned. Boy, was I wrong... this kid pulling a Billy Mumy would have been just so much more interesting than what we actually wound up with here.
Kid's a little jerk... kid has the power to manifest a dragon from his Fairy Tale book... Phantom Stranger tells 'im to cut it out... and we're done. Really not sure why we got so much Phantom Stranger during this run... and, no matter how interesting a story he gives us, he never fails to cause the "flow" of Action Comics Weekly (if there's one to be found) to a screeching halt. Oh well, at least it had wonderful art... and, it was better than the Demon.
Tomorrow: The FINAL anthology chapter of Action Comics Weekly! Be there, or... ya know, don't.
Action Comics Weekly #636 (Phantom Stranger)
"All That Jazz"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Andy Kubert
Letters - Tim Harkins
Colors - Adam Kubert
Editor - Renee Witterstatter
So... I kinda misspoke the other day. Not that anybody noticed, or ever will... but I referred to today's chapter of Phantom Stranger as his last. That is not the case, as we'll actually get one more visit with him in about six weeks. So, I s'pose I get to drop a "penultimate" as a descriptor for this here post!
Also, this is the first of two Phantom-y features for this week... just on the other side'a Superman, we'll be meeting the Phantom Lady. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, considering she's front-and-center on the rather awful cover this week!
Anyhoo, let's get into it... I don't think this could possibly be any worse than the Cat and Mouse story from a few weeks back!
--
Our story opens down on a subway platform. An old musician named Loblow Jones recognizes a fella by the name Ezra Griffith... and so, he rushes over to catch up. Ezra ain't quite feeling this reunion (in fact, he claims not to recognize the man at all), and so he bugs off on the train to get away. Poor Loblow is just left standing there all by his lonesome.
We join the Phantom Stranger, who is doing that thing where he's reading every book in the library to learn everything he can about the human condition... or something. He's also doing a bit of "people watching" like ya do. He sees Loblow Jones leaving with a book called "Music and Magic"... and grows curious.
We shift scenes to Ezra Griffith's place, where he has apparently been listening to the same record on repeat for the past little while. His wife is a bit concerned, and tries to comfort him. Ya see, this record is of music created by, you guessed it, Loblow Jones. Griffith's father was an evil publisher record producer who was able to get Jones to sign away all his rights to Superman his music. Ezra was rather taken aback in seeing Loblow doin' his thang for spare change in the subway earlier that day.
Their chat is interrupted by the sound of... saxophone music. Outside, leaning against a street lamp is, you guessed it again, Loblow Jones... and he's belting out (does one "belt out" on sax?) one heckuva tune.
The Phantom Stranger's on hand to watch this all go down... and the scene grows even weirder as children begin emerging from all of the neighborhood houses. It's almost as if Loblow is a low-key Pied Piper of sorts! A man rushes from his home brandishing a rifle... but the Stranger stops him before he can pull the trigger.
The Stranger then attempts to reason with Loblow... but it's a No-go. Before long, our man is literally buried by the music!
But then, it's deus ex time! The Stranger pulls himself to his feet... spouts a few words, and Loblow is snapped out of his trance.
We wrap up with Ezra checking in with Loblow... and we learn that, he was so hurt by being "ghosted" in the subway, that Loblow wanted some revenge... and since Ezra's daddy took away his "babies" in his music, the Jazzman was going to return the favor by... ya know, literally stealing children. Thank goodness the Phantom Stranger arrived in time to... ya know, tell him to knock it off.
--
So... this story kind of encapsulates everything I find wrong with the Phantom Stranger. You start with an interesting premise... ramp up the drama, or suspense, or comic-approximation of "horror"... build to a climax where everybody is painted into a corner... then, the Phantom Stranger speaks. I mean, that's it... he speaks, and everything goes back to normal.
Y'ever watch the old Power Rangers show? They'd get their butts kicked for the better part of a half-hour, when suddenly "It's Morphin Time"... big-ass robot, fifteen second battle, everything ends all hunky dory. This is sort of like that, only we don't get the satisfaction of seeing people dressed like robots stumbling around and destroying a cardboard city.
I mean, this is worlds better than that "Cat and Mouse" four-parter we covered a few weeks ago, but... man, this might be more disappointing, simply because it felt like it could've been much better! Sure, it was heavy-handed... and was probably more than a little bit "commentary" on creators rights... but, it was good! Ezra wasn't painted so much as a cloven-hoofed villain, but a son who might get stuck holding the tab for the sins his father committed.
Loblow... I mean, really dude? You decide you're going to steal children... from folks who had nothing to do with you signing away the rights to your music? Sure, it'd be one thing if he was just going after the Griffiths... but, every kid in the neighborhood? C'mon Loblow, how you gonna feed all dem kids? Think it out, man.
The art was pretty great... I thought the Kuberts did some wonderful work here! Really, my only complaint here is the deus ex, finger-snap ending. Overall, it's probably the strongest Phantom Stranger story we've looked at in Action Comics Weekly... but, that strength only makes the anticlimactic ending stand out even more.
Tomorrow: The Seeds (or izzit Sides?) of Darkness!
Action Comics Weekly #634 (Phantom Stranger)
"Cat and Mouse, Chapter Four"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Fred Carrillo
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaettter
Let's wrap this one up...
--
Picking up where we left off last time, the Phantom Stranger is stood before Tannarak, Tala, and the Cat-Beast. They exchange some pleasantries, before the Stranger accuses them of being slaves to the "Lords of Order"... I thought they were all about the Lords of Chaos? Are they the same thing? Maybe they are... I certainly don't have any interest in researching further. We learn that Cassandra Craft has been deposited in some Nether-Dimension, which is good enough for me. Elsewhere, Doctor Thirteen hails down a police car and points them toward the weird lightning storm atop the Empire State Building.
There, our baddies have the Phantom Stranger in a sort of stasis, preparing a ritual to summon the Lords of Chaos (I knew it was supposed to be Chaos!). So far, it looks like it's actually starting to work!
On the ground, Thirteen is stopped at the door. The police won't let him inside, and so... he socks an officer in the face. Yeah, right.
Back up top, it looks as though they're conducting some sort of psychic bloodletting or something. The Cat-Beast slashes at the Stranger's chest... and appears to be absorbing all of his magickal energies... or something.
After watching this go down for a few moments, Doctor Thirteen decides it's time to intervene... and he does so with, get this, a broom! He rushes into the scene... swinging a friggin' broom! What's more, it actually gets the job done! The Cat-Beast is knocked off the top of the building! I'm not sure if this is a statement on the innate power of mundane things (and people), but... this is pretty lousy.
The Stranger comes to his senses and judo-tosses Tannarak off the building, where he (and the still-hovering? Cat-Beast)... explodes? Wha-? Okay, so long as it ends the story, I ain't gonna complain. We wrap up with a portal opening, Cassie Craft rushing out, and we're happily ever after!
--
I tell ya what... in the nearly four-years that I've been blogging every single day, there's only been one time I stopped reading something part way through out of absolute boredom. That was the The L.A.W. (Living Assault Weapons) mini-series from 1999. It was painfully dull, and I only made it halfway through. I sometimes feel bad about that, but... ya know what, I probably shouldn't.
While trying to get into this arc, I was feeling those same "L.A.W." pangs... I really just wanted to not talk about this story. I feel like I've built up enough goodwill that I might've been able to take a "Mulligan" on this one... and actually began writing a post to that effect. Basically, just a parody post of what I usually do here... just to keep myself entertained, because the story here... just wasn't doing the job.
I ultimately decided to play it straight... for better or worse. What we have here is... still wildly dull. For the amount of actual "story" we get, this could've easily been a done-in-one... two chapters, tops. Again though, ACW editorial was pretty weird around this time, what with all the changes in the air. For all I know, Paul Kupperberg had this written as a tight two-parter, and was told at the last minute that it had to fill four. Or, this was just a relic from a different "age" of comics that somebody found while cleaning out a filing cabinet in a storage room that hadn't been used in over a decade. Either way... this is perhaps the most skippable thing I've read as part of the Action Comics Daily project... and that covers a heckuva lot of ground.
Tomorrow: The Final Canary-ing
Action Comics Weekly #633 (Phantom Stranger)
"Cat and Mouse, Chapter III"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Fred Carrillo
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
I can always tell when fall is in the air at the Palatial Christate because as the days grow shorter, I no longer have adequate natural morning light to write these pieces by... and so, I'm writing this morning at the ol' kitchen island.
Now, if only the temperatures outside would realize the fact that Summer's over!
--
We pick up where we left off, for better or worse. The Phantom Stranger is tangling with Tannarak's Cat-Beast at the Bronx Zoo. Cassandra Craft and Terry Thirteen are outside the gates. After a bit of posturing... there's a lot of posturing in this arc... 'Rak and the Stranger look like they're about to trade blows. At this point, however, Cassie Craft has hopped the fence. At this point, the Stranger looks a bit catatonic... not sure why, maybe he's been exposed to this horrendously dull story too!
Next, we're at the top of the Empire State Building (or thereabouts), where Tannarak looks to summon forth the Power of *yawn* Chaos.
Suddenly, the Stranger realizes the artist and writer took the time to create this story focused around him, and so... he actually does something! He punches the Cat-Beast, and wrestles around the roof with him... until they both fall off. The Cat comes crashing down onto the streets below. Cassie and Tannarak exchange an oddly "knowing" glance.
Tannarak heads down to get between the Beast and the Stranger, while pointing toward the skies. It looks like Cassandra has been caught between Chaos and New York City... crazy, but true.
Now, instead of helping his lady-love... err, lady-like... I dunno. I've never seen this woman before. Anyhoo, instead of helping her, the Stranger has a think on it... then proceeds to blast her with his Phantomy energies.
Ya see, the Phantom Stranger's "sanity" has returned... and he now realizes that this woman is not in fact Cassandra Craft, but instead Tala Whatsherface!
--
Hoo boy, but this is boring.
This almost had to be some sort of long-lost inventory story, right? Like, it was probably supposed to run as an Action-Plus backup feature back in 1978, but got lost in a drawer or something? Because this is just not up to the standards Kupperberg set with the Stranger in his earlier ACW appearances... those were interesting, this... is not.
Thankfully, this... like most of ACW's offerings... is a, say it with me, penultimate chapter. The Stranger will join us on the other side of The Crash of '88!, but it won't be this story... and that, my friends, is a good thing.
Tomorrow: Penultimate Blackhawking!
Action Comics Weekly #632 (Phantom Stranger)
"Cat and Mouse, Chapter II"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Artist - Fred Carrillo
Letters - Albert DeGuzman
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
After the tremendous highs of finally meeting Lord Malvolio yesterday to... some gaudy dude who looks like he just escaped Marvel Limbo to rattle the Phantom Stranger's cage. Action Comics Weekly certainly works in mysterious ways...
--
We pick up right where we left off... Tannarak has crashed the party, and is not ominously pointing at our hero. We learn that, last time these two met (whenever that was), the Stranger was able to destroy ol' 'Rak... however, the Lords of Chaos were able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Doctor Thirteen stands by, being all incredulous... like, annoyingly so. Thankfully, Cassandra suggests he kindly shut uppa his face.
The Stranger chases Tannarak out of the apartment, and advises Terry and Cassie against following them. Yeah, like that's gonna work! Our hero tries to get Tannarak to fight him fairly, however, the baddie reminds him that he is indeed... a baddie, and proclaims that he'd rather fight dirty. Oh boy. As this chase continues, Cassandra dupes a cabbie into "following those glowing men in the sky".
Turns out the chase made it all the way from the East Side of Manhattan to the Bronx Zoo. Now, Tannarak is surrounded by the entirety of their large cats exhibit. After some cliche pleasantries are exchanged, he begins casting a spell.
Doctor Thirteen and Cassandra Craft hop the fence, and arrive just in time to see... well, Tannarak transform all of the Zoo Critters into a fairly generic-looking feline demon beast thing.
--
Well...
I never thought I'd be saying this, but... I think I found a story that might be best told in the two-page "Sunday Strip" format! This is... just painfully dull. A throwback, without any of the charm.
A shame, really... considering our last few ACW "visits" with the Phantom Stranger have been quite strong! This feels like something that had been lining an editor's drawer for... probably over a decade? I'm not saying that's what happened... but, it wouldn't surprise me to learn that it had! It makes Action Comics Weekly look and feel like a sort of "clearing house"... which, heck, for all I know, is exactly what they were using it for this late in the game!
Whatta we got here? Tannarak acts like the most generic of villains... and summons his "son" the Cat Beast to destroy the Phantom Stranger? All the while, Dr. Thirteen won't shut his gob about the impossibility of everything going on? Dude... you live in the DC Universe, get over it.
Anyhoo... story could've probably been told (better) in eight-panels rather than eight-pages... but, whattayagonnado?
Tomorrow: A different kind of "Cat" strikes...
Action Comics Weekly #631 (Phantom Stranger)
"Cat and Mouse, Chapter 1"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Fred Carillo
Letters - Albert DeGuzman
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
And, taking the place of the Secret Six... ladies and gentleman, I present to you: The Phantom Stranger. Not only is it a Phantom Stranger tale, it's going to be an entire story arc! Hrmm... maybe I should've gotten a running start...
--
We open in New York City where there seems to be something of a plague of cats roaming the streets. They all gather around Cassandra Craft, who I'm assuming is someone I probably ought to recognize. She is then attacked by yet another person I probably ought to know... Tala, Mistress of Darkness! It would appear that Cassie had been blinded, but again... I wouldn't have the foggiest idea how, when, or why. Elsewhere, the Phantom Stranger and Doctor Terrence Thirteen play chess.
Thirteen isn't quite sure why the Stranger wanted to hang out this evening, and during their conversation manages to lay out exactly why characters like the Phantom Stranger never seem to work for me. He says of the Stranger, "You pop out of nowhere, do your magic, and then disappear--", and yeah, that's just about the size of it! The chat is interrupted by a powerful psychic something or another emanating from the door... when the Stranger answers it, it's... duh, Cassandra.
We're briefly invaded by a flood of their shared memories. We learn that they'd once faced off with Tala and, not to get too far ahead of ourselves, a fella called Tannarak. After the battle, Cassie was blinded and left to believe that the Phantom Stranger had been destroyed. Little did she realize, he just took this as an opportunity to slum it on the East Side getting to learn about the human condition.
The next two pages were laid out of order, which made this already rocky read for me all that much more confusing the first time through. We'll just cover it the way it was intended. Cassandra informs the Stranger of Tala's return... which catches him off guard. Dr. Thirteen is incredulous about the whole deal, and is kind of a jerk about it.
The Stranger retires to a darkened room so he can engage in some psychic search, but comes up empty... that is, until Tannarak bursts into the apartment!
--
Welp... this was the sort of story I was worried we'd get every time the Phantom Stranger feature popped up in Action Comics Weekly. A kind of dully, over-dialogued slog. The last few times we bumped into him, the stories have had a more experimental feel to them, here though... it's like I grabbed a random eight-pages out of a random Bronze-Age Marvel Essentials volume.
In reading this, I actually got pangs of trying to fight my way through the first Essential Defenders volume just trying to get to that fun and esoteric Steve Gerber stuff I'd heard so many good things about. There, as here, It was just characters (or takes on characters) that I didn't care much about, pedestrian art, and a feeling like what I was reading didn't actually matter. Not bad, but dull... and could've been so much better (as Paul Kupperberg has shown us).
We've got four or five more weeks with the Stranger (he'll actually survive the upcoming Crash of '88! crossover, hopefully this one picks up adequate steam and interest before long. I know this character and sort of story can speak to a great number of comics fans, but I'm sorry, I ain't one of 'em! Speaking of which...
Tomorrow: Superman... actually in-costume!
Action Comics Weekly #623 (Phantom Stranger)
"The Devil was a Baby"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Renee Witterstaetter
It's been a little while since our last Phantom Stranger story. So far, I've found them to be (surprisingly) good to great. Let's hope this one keeps that trend going!
--
We open outside a church, where a baby has been left at the doorstep. A Nun and a Priest... hey, that sounds like the start of a joke... find the child and take it inside out of the cold night. Once inside, the wee child starts... speaking! Speaking... evilly, in fact!
Before long, dozens of dazed people begin converging on the church. Among them, is a certain Stranger. Inside, the baby reveals himself to be... the Devil! To prove this, he surrounds himself in a flaming pentagram. Well, he's got my vote!
The baby commands that the Priest and Nun do his bidding, but they refuse. No biggie, the evil tot performs some evil magic tricks to pass the time, including making snakes show up on a platter. Just then, the Phantom Stranger enters the scene. The Devil-Baby summons some, uh, smoke-demons from the flaming pentagram to surround him.
The Stranger makes short work of the shadow/smoke things... and so, the baby forces the Nun to attack. She cannot resist, but begs the Stranger to stop her assault. Then... the church is overrun with those dazed civilians... all scratching and clawing at the Phantom Stranger.
The Priest looks on, and laments his failures and uselessness. He watches as the Stranger is beat down... and, out of the corner of his eye, spies the large cross on the altar.
He hoists the cross over his head... and smashes the baby with it. Annnnd... that's it? Okay, fair enough.
--
Well... uh, while I dug this... I can't deny that it was about as "basic" a story as we've seen in some time.
I get the impression that our takeaway was supposed to have a lot to do with the Priest having lost his faith... but, that really isn't played up until the very end. Had the story opened with that revelation, I feel like the ending would have had a bit more "oomph". As it was, it just felt like we hit a wall... at a very slow speed.
Heck, the Phantom Stranger himself barely even played into this story. Had the devil-baby attacked anyone, we might assume that the Priest would have "rediscovered" his (evidently) lost faith, right? I dunno. Either way, I thought him beating the devil with the cross was a pretty neat visual.
The art was solid, as we would expect from Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez. From a production standpoint, I feel like the lettering was a bit on the rough side... but, nothing too terrible.
Overall... a somewhat forgettable and "basic" outing for the Phantom Stranger.
Tomorrow: The Compilation of 623!
