Power Girl (vol.2) #12 (2010)

Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (July, 2010)
"The Little Things!"
Writers - Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art - Amanda Conner
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Associate Editor - Rachel Gluckstern
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $2.99

Welcome friends to the... final day of Vartox Week!  It was bound to happen eventually.

I wanna thank everybody who joined me for this deep dive on a character that, really, not many people care about.  It's been a really fun learning experience... and a great exercise in challenging my own preconceptions on just who and what Vartox really is.  We'll talk more about that below the synopsis.

Worth saying, I feel like this weird three-week-long theme "week" really helped to breathe new life into this humble blog.  I think anyone who maintains a blog with regular posts, and I don't just mean daily... could be whatever sorta "deadline" you impose on yourself, I think all of us are prone to burnout.  Burnout is definitely a real thing... especially when your "subject" is as niche as comic books tend to be.

I mean, people today love superheroes... but, not so many actually seek out folks' opinions (or even information) on the "real" stuff.  Without a whole lot in the way of engagement, sometimes it feels like we're writing into the void... and if you've joined me in this Vartox-void, I thank you.

I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I have!

--

We open with Power Girl and fake-Terra (the other fake Terra) about to relax in an emofluid spring down in Strata... which allows us to see Kara try on a very ill-fitting bikini.  Well, when in Rome.  They take a load off and reminisce while the golden waters project their memories.  We briefly mentioned the Ultra-Humanite yesterday... turns out, the baddie had messed with Atlee (the other fake Terra) in the interim, and Power Girl had to save her.

We shift scenes to Satanna getting out of... er, Savana Jerusalem's bed.  Truly a case of "strange bedfellows".  If you recall, Savana was supposed to provide Satanna with a weapon with which she could take out Power Girl.  Savana's all "not so fast, kemosabe"... and invites some Big Daddy's from BioShock in the room to take Satanna out.

Back in Strata, Power Girl and Terra leave the emofluid springs.  Just then, they run into Atlee's family.  Kara cannot help but to be touched at the sight of the reunion... something she definitely didn't expect.  Her mind is flooded with thoughts of her own lost family... friends... and Universe.

After a light snack... or, at least an attempt at one... Power Girl heads back to Brooklyn.  Terra promises to follow a few days later.

Kara returns home... and tries to think of a name for her cat, before settling on "Stinky".  That's not a euphemism, folks... and shame on you for thinking it was.

Heading to work, she runs into Fisher (Bronze Medal Champion in the regional Jimmy Olsen lookalike contest).  Turns out, this skeevy little perv took some compromising pictures of her... but he's seen the error of his ways, and turns over the "only copies" of the snaps (yeah, right).

After a ride on the subway, Kara emerges from the underground just in time to see...

There he is!  It's Vartox... and he's fighting a great big baddie called Galaxorg.  Well, maybe Galaxorg isn't all that bad.  Ya see, they're only fighting because Vartox tried moving in on the Big G's wife.  If fairness, he thought she was single.  Kara "Pee Gee's" up, and tells the goofs that they don't gotta stop fighting... but they can't do it here.

Galaxorg and Power Girl take turns throwing Vartox into orbit while they hash out the details of changing the venue of this hyper-powered struggle.  Galaxorg proves himself yet another sex-pest when informs Power Girl that he could be persuaded to leave.  This goes over about as well as you imagine.  The Big G ain't pleased, and refers to Kara as "Vartox's whore".  Uh-oh.

Power Girl wrecks Galaxorg... until he decides that discretion is the better (only?) part of valor.  He refers to Vartox as "Tynolan scum", which proves he's never really read the Bronze Age stuff, before vanishing.

After the dust settles, Vartox makes yet another plea for Power Girl's affections.  It isn't very effective.  Instead of traveling the stars with our man, Kara instead simply "escorts him" back to his head ship.  And that... is the last we'd see of Vartox in the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe.

Jumping ahead, we join Kara at work.  She's informed by her employee Alice that they'd just gotten a major investor in a group calling themselves Vega 9.  Oh, also... she resigns.  I suppose this would mean more if I hadn't only been reading the Vartox issues of this series.  Kara then takes a phone call from a fella named Carl... who I'm assuming is a callback to a prior story.  Either way, he's "Vega 9", and he's happy to be an investor.

We wrap up with Kara being called into the lab for one of her employee's birthday parties.  Turns out, the party is actually... for her!

--

There's a pretty good way to wrap up Vartox Week.

I said it yesterday, but it's series' like this one that give such a wonderful snapshot of just how much fun the tail end of the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe was.  It's truly a shame books like this one had to be deep-sixed in order to make way for the "more accessible" New-52!  I think a book like has a fairly universal appeal... you don't need to be ensconced in DC lore to follow it, but if you are you'll probably have a deeper appreciation.  Plus, it's funny... and the art is phenomenal.  What's not to dig?

This is the final issue for this creative team... next issue would bring in Judd Winick, who, if you've been reading this blog with any regularity, you know he's a fella I run hot and cold on.  It was actually his first issue (#13) where I first tried out this book back in 2010.  I didn't come back for #14... but, back then I was just getting my "comics footing" back... I think I was just grabbing anything I could get my hands on.

Let's talk Vartox.

I've brushed up against it a few times lately... a "happy accident" of running a blog like this is that I'm afforded the opportunity to challenge my own preconceptions about titles, creators, characters... ya know, just everything I thought I knew about comics.

When I first got it in my head to do a little Vartox "spotlight", I figured it'd be a neat little aside... a "funny, ha-ha" where we all poke fun at the Sean Connery lookalike.  Hell, at the start I kept referring to him as the "Manliest Man Who Ever Manned"... as a gag!

What I wasn't expecting was to be so captivated by this character.  I wasn't expecting to be so taken with his seemingly never ending tragedies.  If you go back to our earliest looks at Vartox (easily available on our dedicated Vartox Week page), it seemed like an endless torrent of crap was being rained on him.

Every single time we ran into him... something horrible has happened.  If it wasn't his wife being murdered it was his planet being destroyed.  It was around then, that it clicked.  I finally got it.  Vartox, is a Superman... that failed.  He couldn't save his wife... he couldn't save his planet.

It's almost a shame how he was treated in the post-Crisis... as just a goonish punching bag, and later, as a sex-pest.  Though, I will say, underneath the creepy predatory facade, the Power Girl creative team were able to "bring it around" and give him some much-deserved depth.  They also gave him what might be his first (and only) actual "win".  The first time he was able to save his people.  If not for Vartox's efforts, Valeron would've withered.

Overall... I said it yesterday, this Power Girl series is an absolute treat, and you owe it to yourselves to check it out.  This issue is no exception... I had a blast with it, and I'd bet my lucky dime you will too.

And that, my friends, was Vartox Week.  I wanna say, this has been enlightening, and so much more fun than I'd ever imagined.  It definitely helped recharge my bloggy-batteries, and stave off the dreaded (and inevitable) burnout.  After all, we're still 66 days from Post 1000...

I think we've gone above and beyond in showing this obscure fella some love.  Hopefully in the months and years to come, folks who wonder just what this Sean Connery-lookin' dude is all about will come here and bask in the glory that is... or was... Vartox Week.  Keep that magic in your hearts always, my friends.

While we're done with this subject... we're not done talking DC Comics by a long shot.  Come back tomorrow, where we'll be finally wrapping up another long-lingering project.

--

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Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (2010)

Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (March, 2010)
"A Groovy Kind of Love"
Writers - Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art - Amanda Conner
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Associate Editor - Rachel Gluckstern
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $2.99

Welcome friends to the penultimate entry in our Vartox Week Spectacular!  We'll wrap up our deep-dive on The Man tomorrow!

--

Picking up where we left off last issue, Power Girl and Vartox are fighting off a gaggle of IX Negaspikes, which were created thanks to Kara freezing the one beastie with her super-breath... then shattering it into dozens of pieces... which all grew into their own full-blown IX Negaspike.  During the melee, she notices that this new bunch of monsters isn't quite as alert as the one she destroyed... and so, she has a plan.  Vartox isn't so sure he's up for a repeat performance.

After Power Girl suggests he might just be scared, he comes around.  The pair use their hyper-freezing-breath to ice up all the IX's... then smash 'em!

Leaving even more of the critters... however, as Power Girl assumed, they are completely docile.  Ya see, she figured out that no matter how many bodies the IX Negaspikes were shattered into, there wouldn't be enough brain-power to keep them all "on task".  They send the now cow-like monstrosities deep into space.

After the dust settles, Vartox makes another plea to Power Girl to hear him out about why he visited... and exactly what he's "chosen" her for.  At this point, Kara's almost punch drunk... and agrees to dinner.

We shift scenes to a creepy club in Manhattan where Satanna and her army of animal hybrids are convening.  She is trying to track down the Ultra-Humanite in order to do some brain-swapping... or maybe the Humanite already did... I can't be sure.  There's also word of a "creepy bald man" delivering some new tech... we'll meet him later.

Meanwhile inside the Head Ship, Vartox changes into his Valerian formal eveningwear... which amounts to a see-through robe and an eye-patch over his you-know-what.

Power Girl ain't havin' none'a that... especially if she's expecting to eat.  She sends him off to get into something less comfortable... though, by the looks of it, I'm not sure what could possibly be less comfortable than that.  He returns in a sorta disco-looking tracksuit.

He excuses himself to finish cooking, and suggests Pee Gee go change into something a bit fancier herself.  He directs her over to his on-board clothier, and after making him promise to turn off all of the cameras, Kara hops in.  She returns in a beautiful gown... and Vartox is left speechless.

So distracted, in fact, that he doesn't realize that their romantic dinner is burning!

Kara suggests they just order some take-out... and, next we know, the giant head-ship is hovering over a Brooklyn pizzeria.

While they dine, Vartox explains the reasons for his visit.  He's there, of course, so Power Girl can help repopulate the planet... only, it's not exactly how we (or she) might imagine.  He tells her about the contraception bomb... and also about his dead wife, who he claims was murdered (which... I suppose is kinda true).

Then... he gets down to it.  Valerians don't mate the same way humans do... they don't perform the "act"... no physicality, and in his words, none of the "sticky stuff".  Kara's confused... but also a bit curious... hell, so am I.  He shows her to the "Fertility Room".

Now, here's where it gets weird... er.  On Valeron, males and females both get pregnant (not Vartox though).  Their replication is more of a spiritual thing... as though they give birth to themselves... regeneration of their souls and stuff.  It's really weird.  It also involves a "Pregno-Ray", the very mention of which causes Power Girl to busts a gut.  Vartox chose Power Girl because her Kryptonian make-up will be able to stimulate the "fertilizer" without causing her any negative side effects.

Power Girl figures, what the hay... and offers her services.  Moments later, she re-fertilizes Valeron.

After which, Vartox gives her what appears to be, a most sincere thank you.  Kara's all "okay, okay... you can go home now."

We rejoin Pee Gee as she arrives back at her apartment.  She's greeted by her cat (and a dead roach) before passing out in bed.

We wrap up with Satanna... who is still seeking out the Ultra-Humanite.  At the moment, however, she's having a meeting with that "creepy bald man" we mentioned earlier... turns out, it's Doctor Sivana!

--

There's this weird trap I fall into when reviewing comics.  I doubt it's something completely unique to me... but, when I'm reading something... I almost can't help myself but to look for the nebulous quality known as "heart".  Nebulous, because I can't put into words exactly what I mean by it... it's more of those "you know it when you see it" sort of things... and you know it's missing when you don't.  This run on Power Girl absolutely has heart... the humor is human, and the characterization is genuine.

Here we get to brush aside all of Vartox's bravado... and we're left with that tragic character, not so different than the one we (or whoever among us was already alive and reading) met way back in 1974.  This is a man who wants to do right by his people... not a silly gigolo, but an altruist.  Risking harm and humiliation in order to re-fertilize his beloved Valeron.

What's more, it was really nice to see Power Girl "come around" to him.  Seeing him less as a sex-pest, and more as a man... a champion to his people... hell, the only hope of his people.

The creative team does a spectacular job here having Vartox straddle the line between obnoxious and unselfish.  As we've learned during Vartox Week... this fella is far more complicated a soul than you'd expect this silly-looking Sean Connery rip-off to be.  He's the kinda guy... if he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all.  So, it's nice... some thirty-six years after he first appeared, to finally see him "win" one.  It was certainly a long time coming... 

Going back to the concept of "heart"... the art brings that in spades.  The looks Power Girl and Vartox share... there's annoyance, sure... but there's also... I dunno, it's hard to explain.  Not so much pity... as, an almost playful curiosity from Power Girl here.  Like, she thinks Vartox is a creep... but also sees him as harmless... amusing, even.  Amanda Conner truly brings both of these characters to life... and it's a shame she (and the rest of the creative team) wouldn't be around on this title much longer.  I've said it before, and I'll say it now... the art here is pure "candy".  Just love it.

Overall... yep, track this one down.  Hell, track this entire run down, Vartox-less issues and all... it's a great snapshot of what made the tail end of the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe special.  Hopefully you have an easier time than I did finding it "in the wild".  If the hunt ain't your thing... this issue is ready and waiting for you via DC Digital.

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Harley Quinn and Power Girl #1 (2015)

Harley Quinn and Power Girl #1 (August, 2015)
"Extrastellar Exxploitations"
Writers - Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Artist - Stephane Roux
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Assistant Editor - Dave Welgosz
Editor - Chris Conroy
Group Editor - Mark Doyle
Cover Price: $3.99

You might be able to tell by the book we're covering today that I was unsuccessful in tracking down those two subsequent issues of Power Girl.  I guess we used up all of our Vartox Week miracles!

I do have a calls into a couple of local comics "warehouses"... and I'm hoping to hear back this weekend.  So, fingers-crossed, we could just be back in the thick of it before long!

For today though, we're jumping through the Flashpoint... through the New-52!... and into that weird and short-lived DCYOU era for our next appearance of Vartox.

For completion's sake though, the main man did make a single panel cameo in Action Comics (vol.2) #15 (2013)... which I'll include here.

From: Action Comics (vol.2) #15 (February, 2013)
Grant Morrison (w) / Brad Walker or Rags Morales (a)

And no, we're also not counting his appearances in those lame-o Channel-52 bits... okay, okay... maybe I'll include a few choice "news reports" down below... I mean, where else are you going to see Vartox in a hot dog costume?  Seriously... 

--

We open with Harley and Power Girl being spit out of a portal... which causes Harley to spit out everything she'd eaten the previous day... right on top of a cute little Mister Mind-lookin' critter.  They're in the Sombrero Hat Galaxy, by the way.  They soon run into a creepy little fella who refers to himself Sleezox, the uncrowned and exiled Sexyprince of Valeron.  Oh, it's worth noting, Power Girl is currently an amnesiac... so words like "Valeron" ain't ringing any bells.

After being insulted, Sleezox sics his pet hydra on the ladies... and before long, we go full-blown Bugs Bunny.  Power Girl gets swallowed... Harley hops on one of the heads and pounds on it... Pee Gee bursts out of one of the beast's throats... then, Harley just appears with an arsenal that would make 1991 Cable jealous.  Suddenly I'm feeling really old because... I don't "get" this.  Like, am I supposed to be laughing right now... or just cock my head to the side, smirk, and say "Oh, that Harley...".

After dispatching the dragon, the ladies come across... a giant mustachioed head.  It scans them... and recognizes Power Girl as Kara Zor-L.

I neglected to mention this yesterday, but I'm pretty sure this giant head is a nod to the Zardoz movie.  Take a look:

Here's Sean Connery actually climbing out of the thing.  I mean, it's gotta be a nod, right?  Also... I gotta actually see this movie... I'm guessing I'm missing a lot of references to it.

Anyhoo, the gals climb inside, and it's completely plushed out in 1970's style... as one might expect from Vartox.  Beanbag chairs, lava lamps... we're a disco ball and glowing dance platform away from a swell ol' time.  In fact, the head himself claims it was designed (and scented) based on acquisitions from Vartox's first visit to Earth in 1974.

The giant head then takes Harley and Kara to Vartox... or more accurately toward Vartox.  Ya see, he's currently being held captive by a fella called Oreth Odeox, who wants to rid the galaxy of hedonism.  Vartox promises, however, to get his groove back.

Hey, we already used that line...

Anyhoo... Harley and Pee Gee are shot down while passing the Valeron Moon of... Lustox.  Oh boy.  They run into an acne-addled alien who accuses them of being prostitutes... ya know, outfits that show off their ample curves... and also tight enough to facilitate... um, well, Karflippian toe?  Harley blasts him to cinder.

Which starts a big ol' thing.  They ladies are swarmed by dudes who look like A.I.M. rejects, but Power Girl takes them out with the quickness.  To avoid further scuffles, she then crushes Harley's adorable little death-pistol.

Then... Groovicus Mellow shows up!  Power Girl, being an amnesiac, doesn't remember him.  He recognizes her as the "original" Power Girl... as in, the same one from the pre-Flashpoint DCU... which scratches me where I itch, but... it's a Harley book, who could say how "in continuity" it is.

Then... they are attacked by a space armada.  To be continued... but, not on this blog until I procure the rest of this mini.

--

So... Harley Quinn is basically Deadpool now, right?  Ehh, I guess ya go with what works... though, I can't say that I'm a fan.

That's not to say it's bad... just not for me.  Makes me feel positively ancient to be rolling my eyes more than even slightly curling my lip.  The book we discussed yesterday... now that was funny... and I don't just mean "comicbook" funny... actually funny.  Like, caught off guard where I laughed through my nose kinda funny.  This... this was just wacky Deadpool antics.

We don't get a heckuva lot of Vartox here... and it's starting to feel like he's going to be a one-joke pony at this point.  He's just a polyester Pepe Le Pew.  Could work for a one-off, but I'm not sure I want more more of it than that.  Though, maybe (and hopefully) I'll be proven wrong when I procure the rest of this run.

The art here comes from Stephane Roux... who, I'm guessing was trying to evoke a more "cartoony" style to fit this story... but, I gotta say, I had to check the credits twice.  This looks nothing like his spectacularly gorgeous work from the pre-Flashpoint Zatanna series.

Overall, if modern Harley Quinn is your bag, you're probably going to love this.  If it's not... hell, you still might have a good time here.  All I can say is, it's not my thing... and, in my opinion, it's a step backwards from the pre-Flashpoint Power Girl series when it comes to comedy and characterization.

Now, you might think this is the end of Vartox Week... buuuut, it's not.  I've got a "for Vartox completionists only" pick set up for tomorrow... because, I'm sure by now, we'd all refer to ourselves as "Vartox completionists", right?

--

Assortment of rather pot-bellied Vartox features in Channel-52!:

... and, of course, Vartox in a hot dog costume!

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