Amazing Spider-Man #441 (November, 1998)
"The Final Chapter, Part 1: And Who Shall Claim a Kingly Crown?"
Guest Writer - John Byrne
Pencils - Rafael Kayanan
Inks - Bud LaRosa
Colors - Matt Hicks & Mike Rockwitz
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99
Y'all ready for the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man? Hoo-boy, this is sure to be a monumental issue... I mean, this was before the days of nu-Marvel and the annual relaunch... at this point, Amazing Spider-Man only had ONE #1... and, check this madness out... it only had ONE cover too!
Ya know, I wrote that paragraph as a gag... but, it actually sorta-kinda made me gag. What an absolute s-show the "current year" comics biz is.
Yeesh.
Least we've still got the old stuff to relish in... like this sure to be amazing final issue of ASM!
*cough*
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We open at the Osborn Building... or wherever it is that Norman Osborn works... and, check it out, it's finally time for that thing the last story arc was named after: The Gathering of Five! Let's meet our players: we've got Norman, of course... Maxwell, that creep from the Pawn Shop, Madame Web, Override, and... some young girl with 'tude. This is the "Franklin" that arrived a few issues back at LaGuardia... that they didn't want us to see. She is Martha/Matt/Mattie Franklin, daughter of the Franklin Norman was expecting. Not much of a reveal here, folks. Anyhoo, they're all decked out in some geeky-looking robes for the ritual. Mattie and Maxwell butt heads immediately. Anyone care?
We shift scenes to Forest Hills, where a cab pulls up to the Parker home. Why, it's Alison Mongrain and Robbie! Been a minute since we last saw them. Mongrain insists that there's something she has to say... something she can only say to Peter Parker. Suddenly, steam begins to rise from the gutters.
Good grief, it's the Molten Man... again.
Inside, Mary Jane is on the phone with Jill Stacy... and is wearing the first of several hairstyles/lengths (and outfits) she'll be drawn with throughout this issue. She hears the ruckus outside, and is shocked by the scene.
Outside, Raxton looks to be quite conflicted... it's as though he's trying to stop himself from attacking Mongrain. He even manages to speak a little bit. And so, we get four pages of flashback where Norman Osborn embeds a chip into Raxton's head. Four Pages. This is the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man... and we're wasting like a quarter of it on the friggin' Molten Man's flashback?!
At this point, Mongrain... who is lookin' roooouuuugh... realizes that, duh... she's been wearing a locket given to her by Norman Osborn this entire time. You kidding me with this? There's a dude tracking you to all corners of the planet to do you harm... and you're still wearing his jewelry? C'mon. Robbie nyoinks the locket and tosses it into the street... and just like that, the Molten Man backs off... and heads over to the trinket.
At this point, Mary Jane rushes out to see what's up. Mongrain, upon learning that Emjay is Parker's wife... decides that she can tell her the big secret. And so, she whispers something into MJ's ear...
... which shocks her to the core! Ya see, folks... May is actually alive! I fear this revelation might not have quite the same oomph it did back in 1998. If I'm talking about Spider-Man and say "May", where does your mind immediately go? Well, here's a bit of context: Not too long before this story, Mary Jane and Peter had a daughter who was stillborn. They named her May. See where we're headed here?
We shift scenes back to the Osborns, and it's finally time for the Ritual. I feel like I already said that. They each hold their shard over their head... and the room fills with electricity.
Madame Web goes first, placing her shard on the altar. She immediately dies... soooo, that's the gift of DEATH. Welp, there's one outta the way.
Mattie goes next... and her result isn't quite as clear. There's a buzzing in her fingers, and a numbness in her mind. Maxwell presumes she has received the gift of KNOWLEDGE. Norman then tells "Overpower" to place his piece. Overpower? Ya mean Override... the goofball we've spent like half of the last story arc following around? C'mon, there are three friggin' editors on this book... and, it's written by John friggin' Byrne. We expect more... though, we probably shouldn't.
Overpowerride Places his piece down upon the altar... and is suddenly flooded with power. The feeling, however, is fleeting. Maxwell posits that this means ol' Doctor Greg received the gift of IMMORTALITY.
Maxwell himself goes next... and assumes he's going to get that nebulous power of POWER. Only, moments afterwards, he begins foaming at the mouth like a lunatic. Y'see, poor Maxie got MADNESS.
Welp, that only leaves one... looks like the power of POWER is waiting for our man Norman.
And, he's not going to accept it alone... he's brought his goofy alter-ego along for the ride!
Back to Queens, where Spider-Man finally shows up in the final issue of his flagship comic! He greets Mary Jane, whose hair has grown about a foot in the time he's been away. She brings him inside... and hoo boy, does the art take a massive dump here. I mean, some of these panels are almost criminal. Anyhoo, she tells him that MAY is alive... and being kept at Norman's hunting lodge.
Spidey's all "cool, that's just a couple hours away"... but, Mary Jane's all sorts of nervous. I wonder if she's worried about what this might mean to her modeling career! Oof, I'm sorry, that was mean. In actuality, (in perhaps the ugliest panel ever committed to paper) Mary Jane informs him that she knows deep down that this cannot possibly be true. She "felt" their baby die. Spidey figures it's worth a shot either way.
And so, the first volume of Amazing Spider-Man ends... with Spider-Man headed for Norman's hunting lodge.
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Thissssss succccccccked.
Woof. What a bad issue... a damn near criminal "final" issue. Felt like nobody involved was interested in making sure this felt like something special or monumental. I hate to harp on the importance of "legacy numbering" and stuff like that, but... to many of us, even the casuals, it matters. If you're going to ditch an entire volume, especially one that has its roots in the seminal days of the Marvel Universe... ya gotta do it with a bit more respect and care than this.
Amazing Spider-Man, while it wasn't burning up the sales charts during the late 90's, was still Spider-Man's (and arguably Marvel's) flagship title. It had near forty years of history... plenty of memorable stories, characters, and creators... and to toss it all out for a literal "blip" of relevancy in the pages of Wizard Magazine and the like... is a damn shame.
Let's look at the "care" that creative and editorial took with this landmark final issue. First, the art... suuuuuucked. Kayanan isn't a bad artist, but this was some uneven-bordering-on-lousy work he turned in... especially toward the end of the issue. Not to be hyperbolic, but, I don't think I've ever seen such bad art in a mainstream comic book. Scroll back up again if you don't believe me! This isn't how you close out a volume!
Spider-Man appeared on like three pages of his own final issue? Well, that's a blessing and a curse... at least that meant we didn't get saddled with balloons and balloons full of cringy and forced Byrne "banter". But, still... I hope my point is well taken here. Spider-Man barely makes an appearance in the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man. That's some crap right there. The Molten Man's flashback to having a chip implanted in his noggin received more paginal real-estate.
Editorial was completely out to lunch here as well. They were likely too busy patting themselves on the back with the May revelation (which we'll put a pin in for now... there's plenty more of that to come) to realize they got names wrong and there were drastic changes in appearance throughout the issue for like half the cast. Not good, gang. The week you cashed your paychecks for your work on this issue... you were stealing money from Marvel!
I minor quibble, but a quibble none the less. We had this pretty big cliffhanger a couple chapters ago at LaGuardia Airport, right? Norman was gobsmacked upon seeing... a certain character we weren't privy to. I wanna say he actually said something along the lines of "No, not you!"... annnd, here we learn it's just Mattie Franklin? No pomp or circumstance... she's just standing there in her ill-fitting geeky robe? You'd almost think there was going to be some sort of conflict... but, nope! She's just here now. Yeesh.
This is the sort of story one might refer to as a "bag of hammers falling down a flight of stairs"... and, if you were to do so... you'd be right. This was not good. I was hopeful that, with 22 years of hindsight (many of those years full of pretty lousy Spidey stories), that I might've "softened" to this one. Doesn't look to be the case! Maybe this being the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man can be looked at as a "mercy killing"... but, folks... we're not anywhere near done yet.
I hope you'll all stick with me... it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
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Amazing Spider-Man #440 (October, 1998)
"The Gathering of Five, Part Two: A Hot Time in the Old Town"
Guest Writer - John Byrne
Pencils - Rafael Kayanan
Inks - Bud LaRosa, Jimmy Palmiotti, Rodney Ramos, & Rafael Kayanan
Colors - Mike Rockwitz & Mark Bernardo
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99
We're two-days into our deep-dive on The Byrne/Mackie Reboot... and, ya know... so-far, so-good, right? Well, least I think so.
Today we're going to discuss an issue written by Byrne himself (and tomorrow we've got one by Mackie), so maybe it's here where we'll get a better "feel" for what we're truly in for.
Let'sa find out.
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We open with Spider-Man hot on the trail of... the Molten Man. Now, there's a boring member of the Rogue's Gallery, innit? The Molten Man is stomping through the streets of New York City... leaving a path of, well, moltenness in his wake. Spidey's not sure what he's up to, however, as he's not like trying to steal anything or hurt anybody. Our man pops in to ask some questions... and it's as though Raxton's looking right through him. He's in a trance or something. Worth noting, at this point Raxton has been on the "straight and narrow"... though, is working for one of Osborn's companies.
Molten Man stomps through a department store, triggering the in-shop sprinkler system to kick on... which, when it hits him turns into a cloud of scalding steam. Spider-Man stops to evacuate all of the shoppers, allowing Raxton to slip away. Byrne has Spidey paraphrase a Superman tag-line, after which, he asks if he's infringed on a copyright. And, yes, all of the jokes in today's book will be just as forced and unfunny.
We shift scenes over to a seedy-looking Pawn/Antique Shop, where Norman is chatting up a creepy old man about the MacGuffins. Turns out, this fella has one of the "shards" (so, I guess that's the technical term for them). It's here we learn that during the Rites of the Five... only three participants will be granted that "great power". We'll learn a bit more about that in later on this issue.
Back on the street, Spidey is back on the Molten Man's trail. It's... ya know, probably very helpful that dude leaves a path of melted slag everywhere he walks, right? Anyhoo, Spider-Man realizes that Raxton has taken to the sewers... and so, he gives chase. Worth noting, the New York sewer system smells worse than Jonah's gym socks. Oy...
Just like in the department store before, the sewer is suddenly filled with scalding steam. Stands to reason, right? Anyhoo, Spidey surmises that the steam is upwards of 200 degrees, and realizes he's gotta get outta there before he cooks. Unfortunately, there's a ledger truck set atop the nearest manhole cover. Well, I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a call back to the Lee/Ditko "The Final Chapter", but... it's Byrne, so maybe? Whatever the case, he's able to lift the truck and escape the steam.
Ready for another forced and awful joke? I know ya are! A bystander asks where Spider-Man came from, and... well...
At this point, Spider-Man swipes a map of Manhattan from a newsstand and tries to figure out his next move. Hasn't he... ya know... swung through Manhattan every day for like decades at this point? Oh well, I guess this at least gives us a nice sight-gag? If only there were a Twitter or Tumblr to share this on back in ye old 1998.
Whatever the case, he somehow deduces that Raxton is headed toward the docks. As it turns out, at that very moment, Robbie and Alison Mongrain are arriving at said docks aboard a tramp steamer. So... we might assume this issue is happening like a week or two after the last one? Heck, I dunno how long it takes for a slow boat to travel across the Atlantic.
Just then... the Molten Man strikes... Super-Shredder style, right through the docks! Thankfully, he announces himself upon arrival. Wait, did I say "thankfully", I meant to say "mind-bogglingly".
Raxton tosses Robbie aside and b-lines it toward Alison. She takes off toward dry land. Robbie asks "what hit him", so I guess the Molten Man's proclamation one page ago that he is, in fact, The Molten Man wasn't enough for him.
Robbie grabs a conveniently placed crowbar and smacks Raxton in the back with it. It is ineffective. Lucky for him, Spider-Man has shown up. In a neat bit, Spidey webs up his fists and feet so he doesn't burn himself on the Molten Man.
While Spidey and Raxton beat each other upon the head and shoulders, Alison and Robbie plan their next move. Alison announces that they gotta find Peter Parker. Robbie protests, suggesting they stay and help Spider-Man (that's cute, Robbie). Alison winds up convincing him that it's best the flee the scene.
Spidey and Raxton fight through the dock (dude is molten, after all) and wind up in the drink. Spider-Man is almost pulled under a large barge... where he fears he might be turned into "Spider-Man pate". Oy. He manages to escape the pull and return to dry land... however, the Molten Man is nowhere to be found.
We pop over to the Osborn Building, where ol' Norman is still chatting up the old weirdo from the Pawn Shop. Their discussion is interrupted by a phone call from... good grief, the friggin' Scrier. It's... kinda funny seeing this Scrier holding a telephone, though I can't explain why. Anyhoo, the Scrier reveals that the "mission" (referring to whatever the heck the Molten Man was supposed to do) has failed. Norman, as you might imagine, isn't happy.
After hanging up on the Scrier, Norman and the Weirdo get back to their discussion. It's here we learn some more about the particulars of the Rites of the Five. Ya see, there are four "shards" plus the spindle... that much we knew. There will be five participants all seeking "great power"... yeah, we knew that too. Only three of the five will actually get "great power"... we just learned that a few pages back. But, what is this "great power"... and what happens to the unlucky two?
Well, the "great power" includes, well... POWER. Also KNOWLEDGE and IMMORTALITY. So, there's the lucky three. Those less lucky will be "gifted" with DEATH and MADNESS. So, it's a 60% chance you get something good... buuuuut, there's always the possibility that this might be one'a them "monkey's paw" sort of situations. Annnd, that's where we leave it.
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So, this was... uh... less good than the first chapter? Fair to say? From soup to nuts, writing to art... this was definitely a far weaker outing.
Let's get the Byrne out of the way. This wasn't outright bad or anything, but some of these "jokes" were pretty cringy, forced, and felt like they were trying too hard to evoke of a different era of Spider-Man. I mean, quipping about Jonah's sweat socks? The "daddy spider and mommy spider" bit? C'mahhhn. I expect a little more creativity when it comes to quips.
We did get from Point A to Point B, which was good. We got Alison and Robbie back to New York, we learned a bit more regarding the "gamble" of the Rites of the Five. Can't much complain about that. Sure, back in 1998, the latter didn't feel so much like a "Spider-Man story beat", but... in 2020, it's like those "street-level" rules don't apply anymore. It's far easier to accept this sort of tale nowadays.
The art... well... this certainly isn't up to the standards that Joe Bennett set yesterday. This is quite a bit rougher... likely not helped by the four different inkers in play here. Heck, looking at the credits, Byrne himself is listed as a "Guest Writer". Was there some sort of shake-up that made this issue a "last minute" sort of thing? Was there any reason why regular Amazing Spider-Man writer, Tom DeFalco couldn't do this one? I just feel like, if you're trying to establish a "new direction", the lead-in story probably shouldn't be treated as a rushed afterthought, no?
Oh well. I guess we can chalk this one up as being just "ehh"... and hope for a better Chapter Three.
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Amazing Spider-Man #267 (August, 1985)
"The Commuter Cometh!"
Writer - Peter David
Art - Bob McLeod
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Jim Owsley
Chief - Jim Shooter
Cover Price: $0.65
I've said it time and again... if you ever start your pitch with "Wouldn't it be funny if..." you've got a stinker on your hands. Well... maybe I'd forgotten about the little ditty we're going to discuss today. Because, we're about to learn when Peter David asks "Wouldn't it be funny if Spider-Man went to the suburbs... where there are no tall buildings to swing from?", the answer is most definitely... Yes!
But first, I wanna thank everyone for their comments... and, again apologize for my lack of interaction. Been a hectic-er than usual week with school and content-creation... I'll hopefully be more chatty very soon!
Now, let's hit da 'burbs!
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We open with Spidey bein' all sullen-like, sticking on to a building, wallowing in some recent misfortune. That's... kinda one of the things he does. His thought process is interrupted by the arrival of the Human Torch, with whom he shares a little bit of small-talk... and accidentally happens across some topless-rooftop-sunbathers. After chatting for a bit before Peter decides he's just going to call it a night. They part company, and Spidey spies a fella in a nearby boutique who looks like he's about to loot the place.
Our man swoops in to get a better look, and sure 'nuff this dude has designs on robbin' the joint. Upon seeing Spidey, the baddie grabs a nearby mannequin, and threatens to shoot it. Well, this must be one life-like dummy, because Spider-Man buys it! Not helping matters is the fact that the mannequin actually looks a bit freaked out... almost like it knows it's been taken hostage! Ehh, maybe I'm just seein' things... Whatever the case, the would-be robber gives Spidey the slip with this subterfuge, and flees down into the subway.
Our thief hops the turn-styles and quickly goes to hop on board a train. Spidey follows, but is stopped by the police. Ya see, this is still early yet in the Black Costume Saga, and New York's Finest aren't quite sure what to make of this "new" vigilante. Before he's able to get on the Grand Central-bound train, Spider-Man does manage to toss a Spider-Tracer onto the bad-guy's back.
We jump ahead to later that night. Both Spider-Man and Ron (the bad guy) arrive at their respective homes. Peter, naturally is at his New York City apartment, while Ron lives wayyy out in da burbs. Pete watches (I'm assuming) Dallas all by his lonesome, while Ron dines and sleeps with his wife.
The following morning, Peter gets up, has breakfast, and heads out on the town in hopes of tracking down his Spider-Tracer... and, also... the bad guy. Ron sleeps in. Looks like he's not going to work in the City today. Worth noting, Peter has cereal with milk. Nothing weird about that, right? Only thing is, the quickest way to make me sick... to make me gag... is to see someone eating cereal and milk. There is really nothing more disgusting to me. Just the thought of soggy cereal, and discolored milk... and, and... and... when the cereal's gone, and whoever's eating it kinda tips the bowl into their mouth to finish the rest of the milk? Ugh... you can't see it, but I'm fighting off the urge to gag as I type this!
Anyhoo, Spidey (in his red-and-blues) spends the better part of the day trying to trace the tracer... but, is coming up short. He eventually deduces that this feller probably ain't in the City... and so, he heads back to his pad to pick up his Tracer-Tracer Gimmick, to amplify the signal... which places him atop a train bound for... suburbia!
Our hero gets a pretty lousy welcome to the 'burbs by... a Doberman! Spidey shuts the pup up quick.
On the sidewalk, he runs into a tot on a bigwheel named Shana. She asks if he's a stranger... and, uh... kid, if you have to ask... Anyhoo, she offers up her trike for Spidey to get around the neighborhood... but, he turns her down... claiming, if she's Shana... he's going to make like Ka-Zar. Let's not think too deeply about that one, okay? In a funny bit, he shoots his web at... nothing! Ya see, there are no skyscrapers to swing from out here! Spidey winds up in a tree... which breaks... nearly crushing poor Shana!
At this point, our man is confronted by a pair of nudnick suburbanites (hey, I can say that... I am a suburban nudnick). The fella is ticked that Spidey broke his tree... the fella's wife seems to just wanna feel up our hero's butt!
After getting hassled (and felt up?) for a bit, Spidey webs them to the roof of their car. He hops a lift on a passing bus to continue tracing-the-tracer. The driver, upon realizing he's got a rooftop stowaway, pulls over and demands Spider-Man pay his fare! Welp, no pockets... no money, so Spidey's outta luck!
In a pretty funny scene, we watch as Spider-Man just... walks... though a suburban neighborhood. Love it!
He finally comes across a pair of Spider-Fans, in the form of garbage men! They offer Spidey a lift on their truck... and, ya know what they say about beggars and choosers, right?
We jump back to Ron's house, where he's spending his day off doing a bit of laundry. All the while, Spider-Man draws ever nearer to finding his tracer. Ronnie discovers the tracer while tossing a load into the wash... and, upon realizing just what it is... stomps it to pieces!
Spidey was so close... yet so far. Thankfully, ol' Ron figures the jig is up... and so, he grabs a bunch of dirty dough, and decides to make a break for it... nearly running over our hero in the process!
Spider-Man fires a web at the back of Ron's Volvo... but, unfortunately only manages to yank its rear bumper off!
As luck would have it, a taxicab happens to drive by. In the suburbs? Before Uber? C'maaaaahn. This driver doesn't speak any English either... which, I guess we'll allow. Doesn't seem like he'd do great business in this lilly-white neighborhood though. Anyhoo, Spidey's all "follow that car!" (which he thankfully doesn't follow up with "I always wanted to say that") and a chase... is on!
As the chase makes its way through the neighborhood, we catch glimpses of all our new friends... Shana, the creepy-couple, the garbage men, the bus... it's like old home week! Everything goes to pot pretty quick, we've got some fender-bending... and Spider-Man bounds over the trash truck and lands right on Ronnie's ride!
We wrap up with Spider-Man saving the day... or, at least catching the crook... as all the wacky suburbanites act... well, wacky... and suburban. Spidey laments just how crazy it is... out in the 'burbs!
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Man... I love this issue. Makes me really miss reading Spider-Man... it's just too bad they stopped making Spidey comics all them years ago! Err... a-hem.
This was just an absolute blast. So much silly fun, making Spider-Man a bit of a fish out of water. The gags, under a less skilled writer would have likely fallen a bit flat... but David manages to pull it off. It doesn't overstay its welcome... it doesn't insist upon itself... it also doesn't pat itself on the back for being clever, which I very much appreciate.
I really enjoyed that, upon arrival in Scarsdale, or wherever... Spidey just instinctively shot a web... expecting it to connect to a tall building. That panel alone... is just a riot! It's like you can feel the realization hitting him as the sad little web-line unceremoniously plops down on the street. So much fun. Also, running into some weirdos... that's always a good time! What do suburbanites know from heroes in the city, right? Bringing everything together at the end, as if it were an episode of Seinfeld was a lot of fun too! Obviously worth mentioning, the art was pretty fantastic throughout!
If you haven't read this one... and, I wager many of you have... I'd recommend doing so just as quick as you can! If it's been awhile since you've read it (like it had been for me), I'd say it's definitely worth a revisit. Peter David's written plenty of Spider-Man (plenty of great Spider-Man, including my favorite Spider-Man story: The Death of Jean DeWolff!)... but it's definitely a shame he didn't get an sustained run on the flagship Amazing Spider-Man.
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