Chris and Reggie's TOTAL PACKAGE - DC Comics' 1980's PSAs!

Chris and Reggie's TOTAL PACKAGE

DC Comics' 1980's PSAs!

(00:00:00) Chris is on Infinite Earths, Episode 20

New Teen Titans Drug-Awareness Special #2 (1983)

(01:10:40) Cosmic Treadmill, Episode 35

New Teen Titans Drug-Awareness Specials & History

(02:59:45) Cosmic Treadmill, Episode 107

American Honda & Supergirl Teach us how to Buckle Up!

Total Running Time: 4 Hours, 32 Minutes, 29 Seconds

Gather 'round gang, it's time to learn about being a responsible citizen!

Today's TOTAL PACKAGE revisits the times Reggie and I discussed the Public Service Announcement specials released by DC Comics during the first-half of the 1980s, chock full of Gestalty goodness - and in our own inimitable style!

In addition to the Cosmic Treadmill episodes, and in the interest of completionism, I have also included an episode of the old Chris is on Infinite Earths show, where I spend an hour blabbing about psychological addiction and how one of these comics actually realizes that it's a thing that exists!

I hope you enjoy!

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Blog-Posts Covering Each Issue Discussed!

New Teen Titans Drug Awareness Special (the first one)

New Teen Titans Drug Awareness Special (the second one)

New Teen Titans Drug Awareness Special (the third one)

American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl (the first one)

American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl (the second one)

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American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl #2 (1986)

American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl #2 (1986)
"Supergirl"
Story - Joe Orlando, Andrew Helfer & Barry Marx
Script - Andrew Helfer & Barry Marx
Layouts - Jose Delbo
Character Pencils - Joe Orlando
Background Pencils - Dave Hunt
Inker - Bob Oksner
Letterer - Gaspar
Colors - Joe & Karin Orlando
Editor - Barry Marx
Consultants - Toni Harrington & Rick Smith

With so few (attainable) "white whales" left in the wild... it's always a treat to stumble across one.

During a late night bin-dive (we have a shop out my way that's open until the wee hours), I managed to grab what might just be the last piece of the puzzle when it comes to DC Comics "Reagan era PSAs".  You might be saying to yourself, "Chris, didn't we already discuss Supergirl and seatbelts?"  I'd reply with a "Yeah"... and then totally blow your mind (or maybe not) by telling you there was a second Supergirl Seatbelt Spectacular!

... and it might just make those New Teen Titans PSAs we discussed awhile ago look like Watchmen.

Let's get right to it.

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We open with Linda Danvers driving down the road.  In the backseat sit a boy, a girl, and a dog... and Linda is imposing upon them the importance of bucklin' up.  Her lecture is so interesting that they all fall asleep.  Though, to be fair... at least one of the kids looks to have been drinking.  I mean, look at Sally's face... you can't tell me she didn't just tie one on.  The kids then "wake up" in the far flung land of Motorville... where Walk/Don't Walk signs change without a moments notice... or something.  The kids are nearly run over by an impatient motorist when Supergirl swoops in and delivers them to safety.

Next we know, the kids, dog, and Supergirl are on a crowded sidewalk... surrounded by, as far as I can tell, a whole lot of extras from Angel Love.  A nearby advertisement catches the kids' eyes... there's going to be and Amazing Dummy Show today at 3!  We might think of them as the Incredible Crash Test Dummies... and I don't know why they're not being called that here.  We'll soon learn that they are supposed to be the same fellas (Vince and Larry) from the commercials a half-decade later.

Anyhoo, Supergirl decides taking in a show would be a capital idea... and so, she hails a cab to take them to the arena.  The taxi pulls up, and it's being driven by Fred Dumpty... brother of Humpty... pronounced with an Umpty, and he's kind of an ass.  He refuses to buckle his seat belt!  I'd say that his failing to notice a woman with a baby stroller wandering in front of his cab might be a higher priority than his refusal to buckle up... but, what do I know?

Dumpty jams on the brakes at the last possible moment, and... since he didn't buckle up, he smashes his dome against the windshield, cracking it but good.  Of course, this leads to all of (Lieutenant) King's horses and all of his men arriving to put him back together again.  Is this the real life?  Well, no... I suppose it's the drunken dream of a toddler, but whattayagonnado?

Left without a ride, Supergirl and the kids start pounding the pavement to look for another.  Gotta wonder if there'll be a third part that focuses on the danger of hitchhiking?  Anyhoo, they wind up before a shoe-shaped house that's just bustlin' with kids.  They rush to their stretch station wagon, and our heroes get caught up in the stampede.  The "little old lady", who is of course just full of that mid-80's "pep" (or COCAINE???) hops in, and we get a show of each and every passenger buckling their seat belts.

Once on the expressway, the entire car belts out a rousing chorus of "The Wheels on the Car Go.... blah blah blah", not realizing that that song only works on the school bus.  Anyhoo, they are then approached by a tailgating big bad (B.B.) wolf.  Ya know, this might be more interesting if we look at it as though it were a Supergirl/Fables crossover.

Bigby Wolf runs the Old Lady off the road, causing one of her tires to pop.  In retaliation, Supergirl... get this... uses her heat vision on one of the wolf's tires.  Oh, by the way... he's driving an eighteen wheeler.  You ever see one'a them blow out a tire?  Again, seat belts might just be the least of our concern here!  Supergirl then pulls the Wolf outta the wreck... by tearing it open... and he is summarily arrested by a police officer and a park ranger?  Talk about overkill.  What, did he run an old lady off the road and steal a pic-a-nic basket?

After fixing the Old Lady's tire, Supergirl and the kids part ways with the crazy shoe family.  As luck would have it, Three Little Pigs pull up in their convertible and offer 'em a lift.  One of the pigs is... tanning, and I'd bet it's starting to smell like bacon.  Anyhoo, they load in to the car of iniquity... and learn that these pigs absolutely hate seat belts.

Which really sucks for them, because Bigby's already made bail... and he's back on the road in a different colored big rig!  Okay, okay... this is a different Big Bad Wolf.  Now our Fables crossover doesn't make sense at all!  Oh the horror of the thing.  This new Wolf just plows into the rear-end of the pig-vertible, causing the porkers to go flying!  Luckily Supergirl is able to catch them before they're turned into a pair of sausage patties.

She then nyoinks this new Wolf out of his rig... and he introduces himself as "C.C. Wolf", brother of B.B.  He's then also arrested.  Wow, the Motorville Police Force is really on the ball... if only they had stricter seat belt laws!

Without a ride again... Supergirl and the kids have to go back to hitchhiking (it's not like Supergirl can fly or anything).  They are soon picked up by... Vince and Larry, the Incredible Amazing Crash Test Dummies!

They're swept away to the event... where they watch as Vince and Larry drive straight into a wall.  Wow, whatta show!  Hope there was free admission.

The crowd is then lectured on seat belt safety for a bit... and we wrap up with Supergirl being offered the Dummies' "back up car" in order to get home.

At this point, the kids wake up from their Benadryl-bender and tell Linda all about their dream.  Wonk wonk wonkkkkk.

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I gotta tell ya... this was dumb in all the right ways!  Sometimes you just need a book like this to remind you why you love comic books.  I mean, we could run this up the flagpole and really tear into it... but, why?  It's just a silly fun book... and sometimes that's all you really need.  

Or maybe I'm just projecting.

It was weird looking at this... and checking the date in the indicia.  This issue came out in 1986... two years after the last one!  I mean, you almost have to wonder "what's the point?", right?  My only guess is that a contract was signed... and it had to be fulfilled.  This feels very much like a "fulfillment of a contract" and nothing more.

I felt similarly when we looked at the final New Teen Titans Anti-Drug PSA.  It felt as though nobody's hearts were really in it anymore.  I know all of the PSAs get a bit of flack from the more enlightened of us online, but that first New Teen Titans issue (The Keebler one)... it actually felt like (Protector notwithstanding) it could've been just another issue from the Marv and George run.

Dropping Supergirl and the kids into the nursery rhyme land of Motorville... is, of course, silly.  I am tickled at the fact that Supergirl herself seems to be the most dangerous thing around.  I mean, just look at the damage she could've done... even just popping B.B. Wolf's tire!

That could've caused one hell of an accident!  People, Pigs and Eggs all burning up in their cars... all held captive in their vehicles by the very safety belts we're trying to learn about here!  I think we'd call that "dramatic irony"... or maybe not.

It was interesting to see the "Amazing Dummies" here.  I wonder why they weren't referred to as the "Incredible Crash Test Dummies"... but I'm sure the reasons behind that are probably as uninteresting as they come.  Maybe the name wasn't coined until a few years later, when the National Highway Traffic Safety Association (NHTSA) decided to "brand" them for cartoons, toys, video games, and the like.  Who knows?

The art here is fun... I think this is the first book we've covered here that lists both "character" and "background" pencillers... not that you would tell by looking at the work.  Orlando, Delbo, and Hunt work really well together... and it all "fits" without feeling jarring.

Overall... I know this is silly, you know this is silly... the people who put it together very likely know this is silly.  That said... if you stumble across this (for a buck or two), I think you could have a lot of fun with it... and just think of the novelty-value you'd be adding to your collection.

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Et-Cetera:

862

American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl (1984)

American Honda Presents DC Comics' Supergirl (1984)
"Supergirl"
Story - Joe Orlando, Barry Marx & Robert Loren Fleming
Dialogue - Andy Helfer
Artist - Angelo Torres
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Joe Orlando
Editor - Barry Marx
Special Consultants - Toni Harrington & Rick Smith
Executive Coordinator - Steve Werner
Adviser - Steve Jacobs

Welcome back to the wonderful world of DC Comics PSAs!  After a long hunt, I have finally procured the first (of two) Supergirl traffic safety Public Service Announcements... which (counting the three New Teen Titans Drug Awareness mags) puts us at 80% of the mid-80's PSA push.

This might get bumpy, so buckle up! (har har)

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We open in Southern California where Supergirl is attending to the fallout of an Earthquake.  The shifting of the Earth has caused the ground to crack and the roads to buckle... including the bridges and overpasses.  As luck would have it, a trucker hauling explosives is barreling across the half-bridge, and is about to take a header into the valley below.  Like, he seriously speeds up because the Earthquake set his schedule back!  Such dedication!  Now, if I were back running a trucking company, this is definitely a dude I'd want working for me.  Supergirl uses her heat vision to bend the bridge up so she can pluck this fool driver outta the sky.  Unfortunately, this whole mess is cutting into her date time with one Steve Gordon.

Back in Chicago, we meet young Mister Gordon who appears to be working at a fast food joint.  He and his coworkers are discussing the film Battle for Neptune, which he loved so much he'd seen it twenty times!  Their chat is interrupted by da boss man who informs Steve he's got a phone call.  It's Supergirl calling to cancel their date.  It's funny, she's actually borrowing a police phone to do so... I wonder if they record those calls, because Supergirl just referred to herself as Linda.  Hell, there's an officer standing right next to her when she makes the call!  Anyhoo, Steve doesn't take the news well, and decides he'll go to the movies anyway... but he'll take Ellen instead.  No, no, he's not being unfaithful... at least I hope he's not, Ellen is his younger sister.

Now, this is where things get serious... which is odd to say, considering we just covered an Earthquake... but, for the purposes of what this issue is trying to do... this is where it begins.  Steve and Ellen hop into the car, at which time Steve refuses... downright refuses to buckle his seat belt.  Ya see, he's such a better driver without it... and yeah, he actually says that.  After all, the theater is less than a mile away.

Well, I'm sure we all know where this is headed.  Steve and Ellen head down the road to an intersection.  As they pull through a man blows a stop light and t-bones them!

A drunken man ambles out of the other car, and looks at the mess he'd made.  He sees that the other car had children in it, and wonders if he stole from them long lives... all because of a few drinks.  Looks like we're doing double-duty on the public service announcements here.  I wonder if he was wearing his seat belt.

We shift to later on at the hospital.  Steve is in a coma, though Ellen appears to be fine... despite somehow smashing her head on the steering wheel... at least I think that's what was being depicted.  Maybe she was just grimacing, and her spidey-sense was going off, I dunno.  Linda has arrived and she is Super-apologetic... if only she hadn't cancelled their date, Steve would be fine.  Well, let's not get crazy there Linda, he'd still not be wearing his safety belt.

Knowing that she is powerless against, well... Steve's coma, she takes off for the Fortress of Solitude to hang out among Superman's collection of exotic critters.  She hears the creaking of, either the turn of a giant key or the opening of a giant door and knows that her cousin has just arrived.  She heads to him with the news that... she is going to quit being Supergirl!

Ya see, if she wasn't so busy Supergirling, she would have been there to go out with seatbeltless Steve.  Superman's all "let's not be silly", after all, even Superfolks can't be everywhere at once.  He leads her to a device he'd received from some alien race he'd saved... and just like every other device Superman procures, it's shaped like a piece of furniture you have to sit in (or in this case lay on) to make it work.  This will allow him to try to communicate with Steve's mind to inform him that Ellen is okay, hoping that this might stir him from the coma.  Supergirl thinks it's a smashing idea... with the caveat that she be the one to be hooked up to the machine.  Superman begrudgingly agrees.

And so, Supergirl enters the machine and her mental essence is swept away to... like this strange arctic Mad Max world.  Okay.  We see Steve, who is referred to as Gord-On here, so maybe he's going to join the Legion of Super-Heroes... and he is tasked with driving a car, basically.  He hops in, and is joined by... his sister Ellen, who... you guessed it, implores him to buckle his seat belt.  He refuses, fearful that he'd be pinned in the car should the Marauders attack.  Supergirl's mental essence is in the backseat trying to convince Steve to buckle up, but he cannot hear her.

When they hit the ice, it's only a matter of time before the Marauders attack.  Steve, it turns out, isn't a half bad driver.  He is able to outmaneuver most of the baddies and even shake a few off.  After a breakaway... their vehicle gets t-boned by a raider, and they are pushed into a hole in the ice.

Okay... I know logic really isn't a thing here, but let's give it a try anyway.  Here we've got Steve, who has refused to wear his seat belt... submerged in the freezing cold water.  Supergirl is able to save him... a rescue which was likely hastened by the fact that... he wasn't wearing his seat belt!  Not sure this was the best example of seat belt safety.  Back in the "real" world, Steve's coma worsens... and Supergirl thrashes in the device.  An observing Superman knows she was unsuccessful.

We hop back into the coma-world, where we enter a jungle and see Steve (Monterey Gordon here) dressed as though he's going on safari.  He is tasked with... driving a car (to deliver a letter for a dying man).  He hops in his Jeep where he is joined by... his sister Ellen, who (say it with me) pleads with him to wear his seat belt.  He again refuses, claiming that it's safer to be thrown free of an accident.  Supergirl's mental essence mythbusts that... which appears to be her purpose for these scenes.

After being jumped by a tiger, the Jeep-load finds themselves under attack by some, I dunno, revolutionaries?  As Steve drives into a clearing his Jeep gets (say it with me) t-boned!  He goes flying... but Supergirl catches him before he becomes an unsightly stain (as opposed to those sightly ones) on a rock.  Again in the real world, Steve's coma worsens and Supergirl thrashes... steee-rike two!

We shift again, this time into a potboiler mystery.  We meet Steve Gordon, P.I. who is being tasked with... driving a car to bust up a racket downtown.  He hops into his ride, where he is... you know.  And she... you knows.  This time, however, in order to shut the tot up, Steve buckles his seat belt!  Third time's the charm!

And you'll never guess what happens next... unless you've been reading along this far.  Yep, they get t-boned... however, this time by the grace of seat belts, everybody is safe!  Steve finally comes out of his coma.  I say finally, but really... this was like a twenty minute coma.

Our story concludes with Steve being wheeled out of the hospital... can't see if the wheelchair has a seat belt, but I'm hopeful that it does.  Linda arrives to inform him that she owes him a movie date, and everything is hunky dory.

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Just like the other mid-80's DC Comics PSAs we've read, this wasn't as bad as it could be.  That's not to say it was all that great or anything... but I did enjoy it as a heavy-handed weirdo novelty.

This whole issue is predicated on the concept of mythbusting some arguments against the use of seat belts... and looking at it that way, I suppose it's mostly successful.  By going into Steve's "head" time after time Supergirl is afforded the opportunity to take one argument at a time and show their folly.  Fair enough.  The bits to get there were repetitive and... kinda silly, but whattayagonnado?  At the end of the day, this is a superhero seat belt PSA.

I thought it was a bit sudden for Linda to claim retirement after some dude she was going to go on a date with got hurt... seemed a bit out of character, but, again... PSA.  We've all seen our share of "very special episodes" where established characters act a bit "severe" or "sudden" to facilitate a plot point... so, no harm, no foul.

As hokey and heavy-handed as this was, I think it's the first Andy Helfer script I've ever read... and it's not half bad.  I'm used to seeing his name pop up as editor, so I was interested to check out his dialogue-game.  Gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised.  The art was pretty nice too... this didn't look like a "fill in", which was nice.

Overall... silly as it was, if you're a fan of DC Comics history, and just weird stuff, you're gonna want this in your collection.  I know I'm happy to (finally) have it.  Four PSAs down... one to find/go!

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Activities and What-Not:

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