X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Five (1992)

 

X-Men Vignettes #45 (1992)
"The Mission"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Pencils - Dave Ross
Inks - Josef Rubenstein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Milgrom, DeFalco
From: Marvel Fanfare #60 (December, 1991-January, 1992)

Welcome back to... X-Men Vignettes?! That's right -- today we're in "lost episode" territory, taking a look at the story that was set to appear in Classic X-Men #45 (March, 1990)... but instead, sat in a drawer for a couple of years... until Marvel realized the final issue of Marvel Fanfare (January, 1992) came up a dozen or so pages short!

Huge thanks to Chris U. for letting me know this story exists... and for sending me on a merry hunt! I'm always looking for excuses to hit da bins...

Without any further ado... let's have a goo...

--

Our story opens with a playfully peculiar Rogue sneaking up on Mystique to give her a skin-to-skin bop on the nose. This, as you might imagine, freaks out and annoys Raven... but, Rogue assures her that she only touched her long enough to steal a single thought. Not sure which one, but I suppose that doesn't really matter. All this is to establish is that Rogue's acting a bit reckless with her powers. Right off the bat, I'm really not digging this art. I know Marvel Fanfare (especially at the very end of its run), felt very much like the repository of inventory stories... which, ya know, this is one (remember, this was supposed to appear in Classic X-Men #45 some two years earlier) - but, add to that the rushed-looking art and it makes it feel even more like an afterthought. Rogue's facials in particular are rather unpleasant. The last panel on the second page looks like it's out of an old women's prison exploitation movie.

Anyway, Rogue tells Mystique that she's gotta "get her kicks" somewhere... and, by "kicks" she's talking skin-to-skin contact. Mystique isn't cool with this at all, and reminds her that they've got a big mission this evening. And so, we jump right into it. That night, Mystique and Pyro are waiting around for Rogue to show up... complaining about having to deal with an adolescent. When she finally arrives, Rogue is dressed... um, I think it's supposed to be "sexy", but it comes across in the art as more... skankily awkward? Anyway, she tells Pyro that he's lookin' hot, before Mystique starts giving the lay of the land.

The mission is... to spring some dude named Jason out of the McCarthy Medical Treatment Center and have him join up with the Brotherhood. To do so, Mystique is going to assume the form of one of the staff doctors... while Rogue's going to pretend to be a relative of Jason's who's really wanting a visit. The pair manage to make it past the first security checkpoint... which is to say, the first old man sitting at a desk -- however, aren't so lucky with the second. He, despite knowing "Dr. Forbes", still demands to see his identification card. And so, Rogue kisses and kayos him. Worth noting, Rogue seems really turned on at the sight of her "mother" shapeshifted into a fella.

After kissing the old man, our woozy Rogue shares the thought/memory she'd stolen from him with Mystique... and it's that he stole his mother's wedding ring and pawned it. From here, it's checkpoint number three... which is, well, another old man at a desk -- only, this one's got a gun! Rogue sweet talks him a bit before kissing him too. Mystique's beginning to worry that, should she keep this up, young Rogue's gonna lose her mind! And, indeed -- it looks like she's about to!

Finally, at this point, there's nothing standing between the Brotherhood and Jason Nolastname -- and so, Rogue lets herself into his solitary confinement gimmick. Only, she locks Mystique out -- ya see, she's still not done having fun. Remember, she's gotta "get her kicks" anywhere she can. Now, this Jason is... some dude... who, I'm pretty sure we never see again. He's sitting silently on a very modern-looking couch. Rogue approaches, calling him handsome (he's not), and asking if he likes her (he doesn't seem to).

She tells him that she's a freak, just like him... and goes to start giving him a shoulder massage, if the art's any indication. Still locked out, Mystique radios over to Pyro to command him to start melting his way through the wall... and so, he gets to sprayin'.

By now, Rogue's already removed her elbow-length gloves so she might... get her kicks. Jason, however, has a different idea -- sorta. He grabs her by her (bare) wrist, tells her he's not to be played with... and, tosses her across the room like a sack of laundry! Now, since there was skin-to-skin contact here... maybe Rogue sucked up a memory or thought? She's sat on the floor -- and knows that, for Jason, touch, is pain... I think?

At this point, Jasons demeanor changes... he softens. Telling Rogue that she wants to live... but, it's possible to live "too much". So much so that you become sealed off. Is this making sense to anybody else? He tells her she's lucky she can't touch... and they exit the cell together. I tell ya, it'd be a sweet scene... if it made any sense. Or, maybe I'm just an idiot.

This takes us to the wrap up... Pyro finally melts his way in, giving the Brotherhood (and guest) a clear path to escape... and so, they do. We close out with Rogue asking Mystique for help... and, we out.

--

It's kinda like riding a bike, covering these Vignettes -- it's almost like I already knew what to x-pect before even beginning. This was... an inventory story. It wasn't one begging to be told, it doesn't really change anything -- it's just a character-focused little ditty from the long ago... and another reminder that, despite her first appearance depicting her to be a woman in her mid-to-late 40's, Rogue was actually a precocious young teen when she got her start. I feel like this story really worked hard to (over)correct on that.

That said, however... was it any good? Ehh... being a man who still suffers flashbacks to X-Men Unlimited (the real X-Men Unlimited), I may not be the right fella to ask. I feel like I can smell an afterthought inventory story from a mile away... which, reasonable or not, does affect my enjoyment level. It's like, if the people getting paid to put this stuff out don't care -- why in the world should I? That's kinda how I'm walking away from this story. Add to that, the rushed and loose artwork... it's just a recipe for disinterest.

The only way this story can pay off (to me), is... and, this is going to sound odd... but, if there were more chapters of it coming down the pike. Who is Jason? Why is he so important? What's Rogue's "lesson" here? I feel like, had Nocenti been given more pages/installments... we may have gotten some of those answers. As it stands now, this feels unfinished. And, since it never will be (at least to my knowledge), we're left here scratching our heads wondering what the point was.

In the comments, the last bit of Vignettes were compared to something Marvel was doing over in Solo Avengers, where the backup stories included there, rather than being one-offs... became multi-part stories. I feel like there's a lot to this theory... and, had Marvel decided to keep the backup feature going, we would've probably gotten another 1-4 chapters of this Rogue/Mystique story spread out over then next handful of issues. It's really the only way a story like this makes sense (at least to me).

Overall -- it's kind of a worst of all worlds situation. As a two-part story, it's both too long... and too short. If Marvel were never planning on following up on this (and, as this is the final issue of Marvel Fanfare, it doesn't seem like they were)... it may've been just as well not to publish it at all.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Four (1990)

 

X-Men Vignettes #44 (1990)
"Her First & Last"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Pencils - Kieron Dwyer
Inks - Hilary Barta
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #44 (February, 1990)

Somebody queue up Kenny Loggins, cuz... This is it! Today is the final chapter of X-Men Vignettes... well, sorta.

Thanks to the tip from our great friend, Chris U, I now know that there was supposed to be a back-up story in Classic X-Men #45... which, all we fake-ass X-Historians know... didn't appear there. Well, I didn't know nothin' bout any'a dat! What's more, I didn't know that the story meant for Classix #45 would eventually see print in the pages of Marvel Fanfare #60 (January, 1992)!

So, with this newfound information, I took to the mean streets, added around 150 miles to my odometer... and, came up with bupkis! Ya see, what I didn't realize about Fanfare #60 was, a) it was the final issue and evidently, rather underprinted, and b) it has Black Panther on the cover, who just so happens to be one of the more exploitable Marvel characters of current year!

So, what's a fella to do? If you've been with me for awhile, you'll be familiar with many of my hunts... the Lady Cop issue of 1st Issue Special, Vartox's appearances in the pre-Flashpoint Power Girl, DC's New Talent Showcase... there've been a bunch. Well, here's what I did... I asked one of the guys at a nearby comic shop if he might have a copy "in the back". Now, "in the back", as it pertains to comic book back issues, is a pretty nebulous locale... as it could mean several things. Maybe it's literally in the back room of the shop... maybe it's off-site not yet rotated in to the shop's stash... maybe they've got a warehouse, or at the very least a storage unit... maybe it's their own personal collection... or, maybe they'll just find it on eBay and sell it to me for twice what they paid for it? I don't ask for the specifics... cuz, honestly, it doesn't really matter to me, so long as I get the thing in my hot li'l hands.

All this to say... I'm about 85% sure that I've procured a copy of Marvel Fanfare #60. Just waiting on a call to swing in and pick it up. So, while this is the end of the Vignettes "proper", it ain't the end of our time cuttin' it up here together. Be on the lookout for the "missing" Vignette in the coming days!

Now, this does leave us with a question... it's that usual "end of a project" question. What's next?

Well, it's time for my usual "end of a project" answer... which is to say, I dunno...

What I do know is that I've gotta get back behind the mic for a bit. For folks who've been with me from the start, you'll likely be somewhat familiar with my content creation "origin story". Well, of late I've been in discussions with... and ultimately welcomed back into the Weird Science family -- where I'll be doing a bit of X-Content, including coverage of this summers A/X/E: Judgment Day crossovent. That said, I'm going to have to "get current" on "current". As it stands now, I'm around a dozen or so shows (and books) behind where X-Lapsed needs to be... and so, I gotta start spittin' again.

That's not to say we're done here... not by a longshot (and, no, I'm not about to start covering Longshot... yet). There's still plenty I wanna write about -- got some long abandoned blogging projects that may need some love and attention... and, of course, I'm always down to discuss any of the "forgotten" Vignette-y X-Men stories. We already covered a few Wolverine solo ditties from Marvel Comics Presents... maybe an X-Focused return to MCP could be our next thing?! We'll see, eh?

Anyway, that's enough vampin' from me -- thanks for joining me on this odd little trip thru the X-Men's Days of Forgotten Past... I hope you enjoyed!

--

Today's story is Rogue-centric... and it opens with her hanging out with her buddy/pal/sweetheart, Cody. Err, he's "Freddy" here, but... c'mon, we know it's Cody. Rogue plays tough... kinda like one of the boys... and just as our visit begins, she's thrown from the handlebars of CodeFred's bike. She lands gracefully, "Good as a cat", sayeth our slackjawed friend. He chases her, scoops her up... and goes to give her a kiss. Naturally, she fights him off, giving him a good judo toss to evade the lip lock. Her "mother" sees this all play out, and is not at all pleased. CodeFred tells Rogue that "Kissin's fun", before hoppin' back on his bike and pedalin' on down the road.

Mystique approaches Rogue to warn her that she's gotta be more careful. Ya know, skin-to-skin contact is kind of a no-no for her... hence the odd bodysuit she's wearing. Funny, Codefred didn't seem to care, or even notice, that his gal-pal is covered neck to toe in fabric. Anyway, rogue stomps off, claiming that she wants to play and have fun... and she's done doing "missions" with her weird parents.

On the porch, Mystique is joined by Destiny... who advises caution in how to deal with Rogue. Ya see, she's not like them... and she will leave them when it becomes clear that their Brotherhood has "darker ways" of doing business. Further, Destiny suggests that Mystique might be jealous of Rogue. Jealous of what, exactly? The uncontrollable powers that keep her isolated? The fact that she's barely a teen-ager and already has white hair? Her slackjawed boyf? I dunno...

From here we jump to a nearby cliff, where Rogue and CodeFred are taking turns defying death by swinging on some rope that's dangling over the edge. Sounds like fun, eh? Our boy once again attempts to force himself on Rogue... and gets swatted away. He's starting to become frustrated, and asks her why she won't do this one thing. Now, I know this is a "coming of age" story of romance... but, I swear "current year" must be majorly effing with my mind, cuz now I think I've been trained to see this as the early stages of a sexual assault. Oy. Anyway, CodeFred decides that he's got one last ace up his sleeve... he's going to DARE HER to kiss him. Well, he probably should'a lead with that, cuz that was all it took! Rogue plants a kiss on our boy.

And the next three pages are a collage of everything Rogue sees in CodeFred's life. His experiences, his fears, his joy... ya know, his everything. Things Rogue wanted to know... but, not the way she wanted to find it all out. She's been robbed of a proper courtship... she wanted CodeFred to share these things with her willingly... not have them (literally?) sucked out his mind.

Rogue runs off while our boy is still a bit dazed. He was kayoed for a bit, but doesn't end up in a coma. I guess that was a late addition to add a bit more trauma to Rogue's story...

From here, Rogue rushes back home... where it would appear she's had an entire change in attitude. She's suddenly gung-ho to go out on the next Brotherhood mission... and gleefully jams down a pile of chocolate chip cookies (wow, are these home-baked?). This is where we leave her... and the Vignettes project!

--

A somewhat "lighter" story to wrap up the Vignettes Initiative... especially when compared to the last few chapters, which were positively dripping with angst. I quite liked it. I feel like this hits the "sweet spot" in as far as how these backups should be treated. We're adding to a characters' backstory in a way that doesn't break any of the (then) current-day toys. It's a profound moment in Rogue's life... but, doesn't... I dunno "insist upon itself". Definitely not a day Rogue would forget... but, also not a day she'd talk everybody's ear off about. Does that make sense?

This is a story I think many of us seasoned X-Fans are at least tangentially familiar with. I mean, it even got play in the Animated Series. I think the telling might've been a little bit different -- like that her powers actually manifested at the time of the kiss... and the kiss leaving poor Cody-Freddy in a coma, but at its core, it's the same little ditty... and it's well-told.

I appreciate how Rogue's change of demeanor was presented. Having just seen firsthand what her powers can do... she kinda buries her grief and sadness. She knows that she's been robbed of an experience she was really looking forward to in learning bits and bobs about Freddy as their relationship grew and developed. She cried out in the beginning of the issue that she wanted to be "normal". Now, more than ever, she realizes that... that's just not in the cards for her. It's heartbreaking. And so, rather than dwell on it... or, at the very least not tipping off Mystique that she dun goofed -- she becomes very enthusiastic about the Brotherhood's next mission. Red flags? Sure... but, to a confused pre-teen/teen-ager, she's not thinking about any of that.

As far as the "mission" is concerned... well, since the Nocenti-Rogue story that appears in Marvel Fanfare #60 is called... "The Mission", maybe we can assume that there's more to tell? I suppose that's something we'll find out together... in, hopefully, just a few days!

Oh, last thing before we put a pin in this one -- I do wanna say that I really dug the art. I feel like it suited the story quite well.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Thirty-Nine (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #39 (1989)
"Briggs' Revenge"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Pencils - Jim Lee
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Jim Novak
Colors - Gregory Wright
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #39 (November, 1989)

Today we've got... say it with me... something weird! Weird in that, it actually feels like any old X-Men story. We've got good guys, bad guys, a conflict... it's so "normal" that it almost feels out of place here in the Vignettes!

It's also got art from a fella who's like two years away from pretty much remaking the entire franchise in his own image... so, there's that too.

--

We open with Storm flying over the streets and seas of New York City. She is in an amazingly good mood... so much so, that she almost hates to have to settle her feet on the ground -- she just wants to stay soaring. She does, however, land... gotta keep looking the part of an ordinary New Yawka, I suppose. As she sets down, she is spotted by... a creep. Well, maybe that's too harsh... we shouldn't judge a book by its cover, right? Anyway, this cree--err, fella sees Storm land, assumes she's a mutant... and wonders hopefully that she might be able to help him out. Ya see, he too is a mutant... and he doesn't know how to deal with his uncanny abilities. Ororo walks the streets, heading toward the nearest bus stop... and, since she's a six-foot tall supermodel with long, shockingly white hair, all the dudes start to ogle her. Our new creepy pal approaches to chat her up. She takes one look at him, and knows she's gotta get away. She ignores the poor dude. His name is Billy Briggs, by the way.

Billy keeps persisting... until some Tony Stark-looking dude pushes him away. Storm is immediately smitten by this handsome man. Interestingly, and this might just be me, but the "handsome" man looks a lot like a stock Jim Lee-drawn character... which, since this is Jim Lee, probably stands to reason. The "ugly" Billy Briggs... well, he kinda looks like a stock Rob Liefeld character... lotsa lines on his face, and even a bit of the broccoli floret hair! I'm sure I'm just seeing things... but, I tell ya... those are funny things to "see". Billy knows what's up... Storm doesn't have time for chat with some ugly dude in need -- she'd rather talk to a rich handsome dude. Well, way of the world, I guess...

From here we hop over to Xavier's, where Colossus and Wolverine are in the middle of a bet. Logan's bet Piotr that he can't nyoink a tree stump out of the ground... and has a case of beer riding on it. Colossus manages to do it... but struggles. Wow, Colossus struggling while yanking a tree stump out of the ground? Somewhere on dry land, John Byrne is seething! Maybe he'll even quit the book again! Storm arrives on the scene to help out by whisking the mangled root system away.

Wolverine wants to go double or nothing... and claims he can use his Razor-Sharp Adamantium Claws to hack the tree to bits in no time... well, thirty-seconds. And so, Pete and Ro begin to count as he chops away... as we pan back to see that, ol' Billy Briggs... somehow managed to follow Storm back to the school? I mean, it's like an hour and a half drive from Manhattan to North Westchester... and, it doesn't appear that our homeless Mr. Briggs has a car. Google Maps says it'd be a sixteen hour walk! Am I thinking too hard? Yeah, I'm probably thinking too hard. Maybe Briggs skitched the whole way on the back of Ororo's bus? Anyway, Briggs interrupts the proceedings by blowing up the car that Pete and Logan drove out... to the yard. Did they need to actually drive from the house to the yard? I dunno, gang.

Anyway, it's here where B.B. introduces himself... claiming that he has the ability to disintegrate the lot of 'em in a heartbeat... but, here's the thing: he's going to let Storm, the woman who ignored him sixteen and a half hours ago in the city, choose which of her friends he's going to kill -- a decision she'll have to live with for the rest of her entire life! It's a regular Stormy's Choice!

Rather than, ya know, attacking and restraining this clearly unhinged homeless man, Storm actually considers her options! She looks at Peter... who is so sweet and innocent, then Logan... who can survive being hit by a meteor. I mean, all told, it's an easy choice -- but, still... they're giving this baddie a lot of power here. Anyway, she ultimately does choose Wolverine... who, kinda saw it coming, and doesn't appear to be terribly surprised.

From here, Briggs makes like a Sentinel from the cover of Uncanny #142... and lights our Logan up!

In the distraction, Colossus picks up a chunk of tree and smashes the dude in the head with it... killing him. Okay, not really... but, c'mon now, this should have killed him. I mean, it'd kill an elephant. Storm joins in on the fun, whooshing Briggs into the sky, and giving him his first shower in months. She also hits him with lightning... killing him. Okay again, not really... but... it probably should'a! By now, Wolverine is back up and at 'em.

Colossus grabs Briggs, pressing his own hands into his head. It's now time for Wolverine to offer him a choice. He can either go via Razor-Sharp Adamantium death... or, he can use his own disintegration powers on himself. The choice is his. Well, it would'a been -- but, Storm butts in to get everyone to settle their tea kettles. She takes the blame for ignoring a man who was clearly in need... and suggests that the best course of action would be to help him. Worth noting, it looks like Piotr was totally on board with murdering this man... which seems a bit (read: a lot) out of character.

We close out with Storm approaching Wolverine to apologize for, ya know, offering him up to be killed three minutes ago. Logan says it's cool... but, it's clear that it isn't. I mean, it's not like this will ever be mentioned again... so, it's hard to say how deep the hurt-feelings go. Anyway, Billy Briggs sees this tension between Lo and Ro... and smiles sinisterly, knowing that... despite his "loss", he still kinda "won".

--

Before we get into it... good GRIEF is WordPress being a pain in the ass today. I've been trying to upload these pics for the better part of an hour. Is blogging, regardless of platform, just all-around awful nowadays? I don't remember being a part of that decision.

Anyway...

So, what'd we have here? I mean, we're in full-on X-Men Unlimited territory now... almost to a T. We're introduced to a new mutant, who we'll never, eeeeeeever hear from again. Said new mutant is nearly able to beat/kill some of the A-List X-Men. And, there's some dramatic tension introduced between the characters... which, like our new mutant, will never be mentioned again.

Which, kinda makes it difficult to say a whole lot about. I guess our main takeaway here might be the moral lesson of "don't judge a book..." since Storm was so quick to dismiss ugly Briggs when he approached her in the city. Which, hey -- let's talk about that for a second. That, in and of itself, kinda feels out of character for Storm, doesn't it? She's usually depicted as being (almost too) kind... it's a bit odd seeing her dazzled by the Tony Stark-looking dude while rolling her eyes at the annoying ugly fella, who is clearly in need of some sort of assistance.

Keeping on the topic of acting out of character - I mentioned during the synopsis how strange it was seeing Colossus playing along with Wolverine's threats of murdering Briggs. As still sort of the wide-eyed innocent that Piotr was, you'd think he'd contest such a thing -- but instead, he's there holding this dude's deadly hands up against his dome.

Finally, Wolverine himself -- when Storm was presented with the "Sophie's Choice", you'd almost think that he'd offer himself up, rather than putting Storm in such a position. He would know that, between he and Piotr, that he had the best chances of surviving the attack. That is, of course, assuming that Wolverine would've let this dude unload on either of them before slicing him to ribbons -- which might just be another sorta-kinda "out of character" bit.

I dunno about this one, gang. It's... interesting, just not terribly good. It's an early Jim Lee X-Men story, which I suppose makes it a bit notable? I believe he'd only had a single-issue fill-in on Uncanny to this point (#248 - September, 1989) -- he was just about to hop on full-time. Oh well. This one was what it was...

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Thirty-Eight (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #38 (1989)
"Strangers on a Lift"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Art - Kyle Baker
Letters - Bill Oakley
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #38 (October, 1989)

Y'all ready for something weird? Cuz... today, we got a weird one. We've also got Ann Nocenti back, which I don't remember approving. Oh well.

Before we get into it though... how ya like my fake-ass cover, eh? Pretty spiffy? Y'almost can't even notice how horrid the transparency on the logo is!

--

So, we open... and, I guess Ann wanted to have her say with Dazzler in the Vignettes as well, cuz this is another one starring Ali. Anyway, it's late at night, and she's shuffling her way into an elevator at a multilevel parking lot structure. Inside the tin box stands a very portly fellow. If this were a movie, he'd probably be the racist sweatshop owner, or the dude who acts all moralistic... later being discovered as having a refrigerator full of body parts in his basement. You know the type, yes? He's the Elevator Man. He asks where Ali's headed... she tells him to take her to the top. The elevator whirrs into action... and, things get weird. The Elevator Man gets pretty close into Ali's personal space while attending to the lift-box's mechanism... while creepily leering, square in her eyes.

Moments pass... then, the lights go out. When they come back on, the fella is stood like right up on Dazzler's back. I'm sure she's getting a nose full of stale stogie and liverwurst. Ali begins to panic and asks what the dollar store Kingpin is up to... he simply tells her that he's the Elevator Man... and he's running the lift.

They reach the top level, and Ali goes to leave. The E.M. insists that he walk her to her car... since it's late... and, ya know, dangerous. He really impresses upon her how dangerous it is for her to be up here alone. As she begins her walk to her hooptie... another car hammers the gas and drives right toward her. The Elevator Man grabs her, pulling her out of harm's way... then... uh, handcuffs her to a metal pipe? Um, what?

The Elevator Man tells her it's all a joke... then, checks his pocket -- realizing that he's left the key to the cuffs somewhere else. He leaves to go fetch them. No sooner does he waddle away than Alison uses her Disco-paffin' to break herself free.

She then rushes to the power box and shuts off all the lights to the structure... leaving our fat friend just as confused and outta sorta as she was on the elevator. Next, she runs over to her car... flips on the radio... and prepares to engage in some Disco Dazzlin'.

What follows are a couple pages of Kyle Baker pencil candy, during which the Elevator Man gets bombarded with terrible music and light. Our gal introduces herself to her would-be fake-ass attacker... which takes us to our ending.

In which the Elevator Man reveals that... while he works as a humble Lift Operator, his true passion is film... and his obsession is fear. Ya see, this whole scene was orchestrated so he could observe and study "true fear" for his next film. He drops to his hamhock-sized knees and apologizes. Alison asks him, after what he's just experienced, if he now has enough "material" for his fear-film.

--

Welp.

Toldja this was a weird one. Thing of it is... there ain't all that much to say about it. Least nothing off the top of my head. It was interesting to look at, even if the story itself kinda read as nonsensical. Like, we know the Elevator Man's "goal" was to study true fear... but, really, at what cost? You pull a stunt like this... your ass is going to jail, right? Maybe that was his goal... he wanted to know the fear of being a literal cushion of a man in jail? Heck, even if that was the case, there've gotta be easier ways of going about it.

Up to the "grand reveal", Ann and Kyle did a great job of evoking the kind of fear and dread we might find ourselves with, when all alone... in the dark... away from our (non-current-year) safe spaces. The tone of the story is pretty great. Part of me wonders how a John Bolton would've drawn this... but, I'm more than pleased with Baker's take.

The title of this story is likely a play on the Hitchcock film, Strangers on a Train -- which, outside of the similar title, doesn't appear to share a single other thing with this story. Speaking of the title... here's an irrational "Chris Problem" for ya... use of the word "lift" instead of elevator by an American. Though, I suppose if we're replacing the word "Train" in our homage title, we gotta find a monosyllabic word to fit the bill. To me though, it always makes me think that the writer is trying to appear more "cultured". Like I said, irrational Chris Problems... they are debilitating. It's a wonder I'm able to pull myself outta bed every morning.

It reminds me of a comics podcast I used to listen to... back when I still had the time to listen to comics podcasts. It was hosted by an American and a Brit, and oddly, the Brit -- perhaps knowing that most of their audience was American, would use words like "elevator", "apartment", and "bar"... whereas, the American co-host would say "lift", "flat", and "pub". It always struck me as funny. Oh well.

Overall -- this is about three-quarters of a good story... which, at least for me, falls apart pretty hard at the end. How this Elevator Man didn't wind up arrested at the end of it makes zero sense. Plus, who was in the blue car that barreled at Ali? Was that part of the plan... or, just a happy coincidence? Also, what was E.M. planning to do to Ali when he returned with the keys? Lotsta silly questions... but, no answers are comin'.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Thirty-Four (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #34 (1989)
"Double Negative"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #34 (June, 1989)

We're getting really close to the end of this leg of the Vignettes Project. As it stands now, we've only got two chapters left that come equipped with "cover images". In case I didn't make this clear from the start... and, I mean, if you're reading these, you most likely already know -- but, these Classic X-Men backups had their own "covers"... which is to say, the back cover would have a pin-up -- which, are the images I took, and slapped a low-poly, grainy, poorly edited "X-Men Vignettes" logo on (seriously, don't look at it too closely)... and then typed the chapter number in Bookman OldStyle Font in as near a similar shade of blue and white as I could get it.

That all changes, however, with issue #37. I'm guessing it's due to a combination of Marvel wanting more ad revenue and not really prioritizing this project anymore... but, come that issue... the back cover will be - just an ad. Here's a silly little "mock-up" I did for what Vignettes #37 could'a been:

Back Cover of Classic X-Men #37 (September, 1989)

So, knowing that's headed our way... I guess I'm going to have to try and get a bit creative for upcoming covers. Creativity isn't my strong suit... which is probably why all I tend to write about are other peoples' creations. There's a saying that I've tried to coin over the years -- "Those who can, do -- those who cannot, review" -- it rhymes and sorta rolls off the tongue in said in the right cadence.

Anyway, all that to say -- come Vignette #37, we'll be entering the final "leg" of this project. I believe the last Vignette appears in Classic X-Men #44? I could be mistaken... but, I don't think I am. Crazy, when I started this I could'a sworn they ran into the 60s! I guess this won't go quite as long as our Action Comics Daily dealie from the long ago... though, there are some X-Men shorts floating around out there that might be needing some attention in the form of the Vignette treatment? What say you?

Oh well, enough pre-ramble... let's get Hellfirin'!

--

We open at the Hellfire Club, where... hmm, lemme check the Wiki... ah, yes: Unnamed Servant Girl is attending to Jason Wyngarde's drink order. We can see that he thinks of her as nothing more than a brainless trollop... an object. Speaking of objectification, he gets a big ol' eyeful of her goods before she awkwardly backs away. She asks if there's anything else he might need... likely expecting a very unpleasant answer -- yet, gets none. Jaybird ain't even gonna dignify her with a response. Worth noting here, and maybe it's just me -- but, Bolton draws Wyngarde to look a bit like Charlie Manson.

Unnamed Servant Girl slinks away back to her quarters... demoralized and feeling like, well, feeling like exactly what Wyngarde wanted her to feel like -- nothing more than an object. In the "help" quarters, or, I dunno "ladies' locker room" she runs into Emma Frost... who is in the middle of a conversation with her very favorite person -- that being, herself in the mirror. USG asks how Emma can deal with their lot in Hellfire Life - being ogled, being a plaything, ya know... being a Hellfire Wench. Emma takes great offense to this, reminding USG that she is the White Queen. Sure, USG is nothing more than a cheap bit of eye-candy to the creepers in the Club, but Emma... Emma wields actual power. She claims that while the fetishwear of USG cheapens her... Emma's own fetishwear cheapens everyone else. Welp, I guess it's all in one's own perception, eh? Least Emma acknowledges her agency.

Emma continues her monologue while fetching her cape gimmick... and finally tells Unnamed Servant Girl that sexism is an illusion... it only x-ists when you give it power. When you empowers those who you think may try and wield it to make you lesser. And, in the Hellfire Club... no one dares to play such games with the White Queen. USG comes to the realization that Emma's just as bad as the rest of 'em. C'mon lady, is this the first time you're meeting Emma Frost?

From here... well, the story kinda falls apart. Or, rather, kinda just ceases to be for a handful of (fun to look at) pages. Emma approaches Wyngarde for a game of chess... and, what follows is three pages of... well, them playing chess. It's all very symbolic, and perhaps falls a bit on the "too cute by half" side of things... but, I suppose it's somewhat successful in making the point it's trying to make. The gimmick here is that we're seeing their mental joust play out on the board... and, in the game, they wind up falling prey to one another. Again, neat to look at, and fine idea... just not near as deep as I think it's supposed to be. Feel like we can sum up so many Nocenti/Bolton stories with that very line.

This takes us to the wrap up, where we can see that... this entire "game" took place on the astral plane -- not a single chess piece was moved. Unnamed Servant Girl is watching this play out... and realizes that, while Ms. Frost claims superiority to all -- she is but a slave. A slave... to games.

--

Okay, I didn't dislike this. I know that's like the usual levels of "praise" I've been giving our trips into Nocenti-land of late... but, it's really about all I can say. I don't have any personal stories I can relate-n-conflate into this... and, I'm not x-actly sure what it actually accomplished. It enlightens us to the "power dynamic" of the Hellfire Club... but, I didn't think that was ever in question in the first place? Maybe it's just all the years of hindsight getting in the way?

Something that really struck me is what Emma said about the nature of sexism... especially in the post-social media world we're currently living in, where it feels as though folks often comb over any statements being made for any traces of sexism... or, ya know, whatever else they're looking to be offended by. Here, Emma tells our Unnamed Servant Girl that -- sexism isn't a thing, unless you make it into one. It simply doesn't x-ist... to her mind, anyway. Well, it x-ists, just not in the way the USG thinks it does. My takeaway here is that it comes down to agency -- and, I could be completely wrong here, because it isn't terribly often that I find myself trompin' around a swingers club in showy lingerie and heels.

Emma appears to know what putting on the outfit means. She says as much to the USG. You put that outfit on... and, you're going to be ogled... you will be objectified... but only if you allow yourself to be. As we saw in the opening scene, USG does not appear to carry herself with any confidence... she's meek, she's clearly uncomfortable. To a sadist or creep at the Hellfire Club, she may as well be wearing a sign that she is someone who can be easily used, dominated, wrung out... what have you. Emma, on the other hand, well... she compares her slinky get-up to the war armor of a samurai. It's her protection, it's her weapon... it's how she gets stuff done.

Emma isn't meek... and like the new guy/gal in the prison... she approaches one of the biggest, baddest dudes in the yard to make a name for herself. To show off her mental toughness. She matches mental-wits with friggin' Mastermind... and is able to battle him to a draw. It's not a win... but, at the same time, it kinda is.

Thing of it is though, Emma's so wrapped up in her "persona"... that she doesn't even realize what a prisoner she's become. Like, what does it matter if you're king or queen... when what you rule over is... this? Emma's in too deep. She's like someone who fought their way to a middle-management position, who then lets that position define who they are. They become the job... and begin to think lesser of those around them. And, no, this is one of the rare times I'll assure you that I'm not projecting -- at least not my own behavior, anyway. What happens when you take this person out of "the machine"? What do they become? What/Who is Emma Frost without her position in Hellfire?

She doesn't appear to want to find out. And so, as the Unnamed Servant Girl said, Emma -- whether she realizes it or not -- is also a slave.

Ya know what -- this might be one'a those odd stories where, when I started jotting down my thoughts I didn't really care for -- but, after breaking it down (as only I can... which is to say, sloppily and stream-of-consciously), I found that I rather liked it. Oh well!