Amazing Spider-Man #267 (August, 1985)
"The Commuter Cometh!"
Writer - Peter David
Art - Bob McLeod
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Jim Owsley
Chief - Jim Shooter
Cover Price: $0.65
I've said it time and again... if you ever start your pitch with "Wouldn't it be funny if..." you've got a stinker on your hands. Well... maybe I'd forgotten about the little ditty we're going to discuss today. Because, we're about to learn when Peter David asks "Wouldn't it be funny if Spider-Man went to the suburbs... where there are no tall buildings to swing from?", the answer is most definitely... Yes!
But first, I wanna thank everyone for their comments... and, again apologize for my lack of interaction. Been a hectic-er than usual week with school and content-creation... I'll hopefully be more chatty very soon!
Now, let's hit da 'burbs!
--
We open with Spidey bein' all sullen-like, sticking on to a building, wallowing in some recent misfortune. That's... kinda one of the things he does. His thought process is interrupted by the arrival of the Human Torch, with whom he shares a little bit of small-talk... and accidentally happens across some topless-rooftop-sunbathers. After chatting for a bit before Peter decides he's just going to call it a night. They part company, and Spidey spies a fella in a nearby boutique who looks like he's about to loot the place.
Our man swoops in to get a better look, and sure 'nuff this dude has designs on robbin' the joint. Upon seeing Spidey, the baddie grabs a nearby mannequin, and threatens to shoot it. Well, this must be one life-like dummy, because Spider-Man buys it! Not helping matters is the fact that the mannequin actually looks a bit freaked out... almost like it knows it's been taken hostage! Ehh, maybe I'm just seein' things... Whatever the case, the would-be robber gives Spidey the slip with this subterfuge, and flees down into the subway.
Our thief hops the turn-styles and quickly goes to hop on board a train. Spidey follows, but is stopped by the police. Ya see, this is still early yet in the Black Costume Saga, and New York's Finest aren't quite sure what to make of this "new" vigilante. Before he's able to get on the Grand Central-bound train, Spider-Man does manage to toss a Spider-Tracer onto the bad-guy's back.
We jump ahead to later that night. Both Spider-Man and Ron (the bad guy) arrive at their respective homes. Peter, naturally is at his New York City apartment, while Ron lives wayyy out in da burbs. Pete watches (I'm assuming) Dallas all by his lonesome, while Ron dines and sleeps with his wife.
The following morning, Peter gets up, has breakfast, and heads out on the town in hopes of tracking down his Spider-Tracer... and, also... the bad guy. Ron sleeps in. Looks like he's not going to work in the City today. Worth noting, Peter has cereal with milk. Nothing weird about that, right? Only thing is, the quickest way to make me sick... to make me gag... is to see someone eating cereal and milk. There is really nothing more disgusting to me. Just the thought of soggy cereal, and discolored milk... and, and... and... when the cereal's gone, and whoever's eating it kinda tips the bowl into their mouth to finish the rest of the milk? Ugh... you can't see it, but I'm fighting off the urge to gag as I type this!
Anyhoo, Spidey (in his red-and-blues) spends the better part of the day trying to trace the tracer... but, is coming up short. He eventually deduces that this feller probably ain't in the City... and so, he heads back to his pad to pick up his Tracer-Tracer Gimmick, to amplify the signal... which places him atop a train bound for... suburbia!
Our hero gets a pretty lousy welcome to the 'burbs by... a Doberman! Spidey shuts the pup up quick.
On the sidewalk, he runs into a tot on a bigwheel named Shana. She asks if he's a stranger... and, uh... kid, if you have to ask... Anyhoo, she offers up her trike for Spidey to get around the neighborhood... but, he turns her down... claiming, if she's Shana... he's going to make like Ka-Zar. Let's not think too deeply about that one, okay? In a funny bit, he shoots his web at... nothing! Ya see, there are no skyscrapers to swing from out here! Spidey winds up in a tree... which breaks... nearly crushing poor Shana!
At this point, our man is confronted by a pair of nudnick suburbanites (hey, I can say that... I am a suburban nudnick). The fella is ticked that Spidey broke his tree... the fella's wife seems to just wanna feel up our hero's butt!
After getting hassled (and felt up?) for a bit, Spidey webs them to the roof of their car. He hops a lift on a passing bus to continue tracing-the-tracer. The driver, upon realizing he's got a rooftop stowaway, pulls over and demands Spider-Man pay his fare! Welp, no pockets... no money, so Spidey's outta luck!
In a pretty funny scene, we watch as Spider-Man just... walks... though a suburban neighborhood. Love it!
He finally comes across a pair of Spider-Fans, in the form of garbage men! They offer Spidey a lift on their truck... and, ya know what they say about beggars and choosers, right?
We jump back to Ron's house, where he's spending his day off doing a bit of laundry. All the while, Spider-Man draws ever nearer to finding his tracer. Ronnie discovers the tracer while tossing a load into the wash... and, upon realizing just what it is... stomps it to pieces!
Spidey was so close... yet so far. Thankfully, ol' Ron figures the jig is up... and so, he grabs a bunch of dirty dough, and decides to make a break for it... nearly running over our hero in the process!
Spider-Man fires a web at the back of Ron's Volvo... but, unfortunately only manages to yank its rear bumper off!
As luck would have it, a taxicab happens to drive by. In the suburbs? Before Uber? C'maaaaahn. This driver doesn't speak any English either... which, I guess we'll allow. Doesn't seem like he'd do great business in this lilly-white neighborhood though. Anyhoo, Spidey's all "follow that car!" (which he thankfully doesn't follow up with "I always wanted to say that") and a chase... is on!
As the chase makes its way through the neighborhood, we catch glimpses of all our new friends... Shana, the creepy-couple, the garbage men, the bus... it's like old home week! Everything goes to pot pretty quick, we've got some fender-bending... and Spider-Man bounds over the trash truck and lands right on Ronnie's ride!
We wrap up with Spider-Man saving the day... or, at least catching the crook... as all the wacky suburbanites act... well, wacky... and suburban. Spidey laments just how crazy it is... out in the 'burbs!
--
Man... I love this issue. Makes me really miss reading Spider-Man... it's just too bad they stopped making Spidey comics all them years ago! Err... a-hem.
This was just an absolute blast. So much silly fun, making Spider-Man a bit of a fish out of water. The gags, under a less skilled writer would have likely fallen a bit flat... but David manages to pull it off. It doesn't overstay its welcome... it doesn't insist upon itself... it also doesn't pat itself on the back for being clever, which I very much appreciate.
I really enjoyed that, upon arrival in Scarsdale, or wherever... Spidey just instinctively shot a web... expecting it to connect to a tall building. That panel alone... is just a riot! It's like you can feel the realization hitting him as the sad little web-line unceremoniously plops down on the street. So much fun. Also, running into some weirdos... that's always a good time! What do suburbanites know from heroes in the city, right? Bringing everything together at the end, as if it were an episode of Seinfeld was a lot of fun too! Obviously worth mentioning, the art was pretty fantastic throughout!
If you haven't read this one... and, I wager many of you have... I'd recommend doing so just as quick as you can! If it's been awhile since you've read it (like it had been for me), I'd say it's definitely worth a revisit. Peter David's written plenty of Spider-Man (plenty of great Spider-Man, including my favorite Spider-Man story: The Death of Jean DeWolff!)... but it's definitely a shame he didn't get an sustained run on the flagship Amazing Spider-Man.
--
Letters Page:
--
Interesting Ads:
Action Comics #660 (December, 1990)
"Certain Death"
Writer - Roger Stern
Penciller - Bob McLeod
Inker - Brett Breeding
Letterer - Bill Oakley
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $0.75
There's always a bit of a "come down" from our bombastic (relatively speaking) milestone pieces here. It's like my fingers start to get itchy as we get into the last ten posts of any given hundred... then, poof... it's over!
Today is our EIGHT HUNDRED... and first daily discussion... and we're in "scoring position" for wrapping up our #Action100 Endeavor. Looks like we're actually going to meet our self-imposed deadline!
Let's get right to it.
--
We open with Lex Luthor shuffling through the credits for the issue while the Grim Reaper has come to take him away! He ducks the scythe-slash and scurries across his palatial office. Just then Happersen pops in... and so, Luthor offers his unwitting assistant up to Grim Death in his stead... whatta guy!
Luthor goes so far as to shove Hap' into the Reaper... which reduces him into a skeleton in a suit. Death then lowers his hood, revealing himself to be... Superman?! He hoists Luthor up... and suddenly they're atop LexCorp Tower. Luthor is dropped... to his doom!
Or not... because this is all a dream, silly! Luthor springs up on an examination table, where he is comforted by his personal physician Kelley. He tells her that he's seen death... he knows he's not long for this world. Probably ought to give a bit of backstory, right? Ya see how Lex is wearing that glove on his hand? Well... that's because it's not really a hand. Due to his wearing of a Kryptonite Ring, he contracted cancer and had to have it amputated. The cancer has spread... and will soon claim his life.
We shift scenes to the newly-engaged Lois Lane and Clark Kent enjoying a night out. After eating, Lois gets a time via 1990 cellular telephone technology about a fire at the old brewery. Clark listens in as he finishes a glass of wine...
Lois splits to get the scoop... but cannot seem to catch a cab. Lucky for her, Superman was also just on his way to take a gander at the fire. On the way, they talk about Lois and Clark's pending nuptials... leading to a cute exchange about whether or not Superman expected Lois to wait around for his proposal!
Moments later, they arrive at the blaze... and Superman does his thing. He saves the folks trapped amid the debris, and flies off to grab truck-fulls of water to douse the flames. In a weird bit, as he's taking off to procure the water... the officers and fire fighters question where he's going... as if he's just going to leave'em hanging. Really weird for them to question him.
Back at LexCorp, Mistuh Luthah is enraged that his brewery is ablaze... and orders whoever responsible for the faulty maintenance be fired. Not killed? Hmm, maybe the illness is making you soft, Lex? As he rants, Kelley pops in to give him the what-for for working late. This leads to a flashback montage of Kelley's relationship with Lex.
She takes her leave, suggesting that what Lex really needs isn't a doctor, but a miracle worker... and suggests that he only has one year left on this side of the ground. Lex remains in his office, and recalls a time when he considered himself a "miracle worker"... and decides to start "making miracles" again.
And so, we shift ahead three days... Lex along with pilot Nick Buxton plan to take the new X-27 model of the Lex-Wing on a record-breaking around the world pole-to-pole flight. Before taking off, he fields a few questions about his declining health... and kinda waves 'em off. Then, with an oddly-wicked look in his eye, he boards the jet and readies for lift off.
Back at the Daily Planet, Jimmy meets with Lois and Clark... who casually mention their hopes that nobody at the office will make a big deal about their engagement. Well, wouldn'tcha know it, the Daily Planet staffers are just about to throw the happy couple a surprise engagement party! Whoops!
We jump back to Lex, who is currently flying over St. Croix... where he ejects his co-pilot Mr. Buxton so he can test what "this baby can really do"!
Back at the Planet, Lois and Clark notice that the Chief is kinda keeping to himself. This is just after the death of his son, Jerry White... who was actually Lex Luthor's biological son... but, we don't need to really get into that right now. Anyhoo... they tell Perry that they're basically like his kids too... which manages to get a half-smile.
Meanwhile, Lex's flight of fancy continues... right into the ground! In a neat bit, just as Lex crashes, we transition to a cork popping out of a bottle of bubbly.
Back at the party, a news broadcast plays... the staffers learn of Luthor's crash... and before Lois can even ask for Clark's thoughts, Superman is halfway across the globe.
At the crash-site, Superman sifts through the wreckage... and wonders if Lex perished deliberately.
We wrap up with the news of Lex's death hitting all of the global news outlets... and folks sharing their reactions, as Superman looks on and attempts to process what has just gone down.
--
Ya know... when we think about "death" in comics these days... it's like getting a hangnail in the real world. I minor, though annoying, inconvenience that... in time, will pass. Back in 1990, deaths seemed a little more shocking... and a little more permanent. I think this story straddled that "permanent" aspect about as well as you might hope.
We get a boom... but we don't get a body. I think that's the right way to do this, especially when... I mean, it's Lex Luthor... he's not going to stay dead forever... and at least this way, you don't have to "explain away" having seen his corpse.
Lex's lingering illness has loomed large for a long time at this point... and, as with every subplot... something would eventually have to be done with it. I think subverting the "sickness" and just pulling the quick exit makes a lot of sense. If we look at Lex, he's not the kind of fella who you'd expect to just whither away his final months in a hospital bed. If he has to "go out", he's going to do it "his way".
We get some fallout from the Lois and Clark engagement... and it's all pretty cool. This is that interim period between the proposal and the reveal... so, it makes for some interesting Lois/Clark/Superman love triangle dynamics. Really dug the bit where Lois asked Superman if he expected her to wait for him to "come around".
I thought it was interesting that we see Clark drinking wine at dinner... and nobody thought to say "boo" about it. Man, there are times I think about how much more enjoyable the books would be today if not for social media. That's... probably a discussion for another time though.
Overall, thought this was as good a way to "off" Luthor as possible given the circumstances and plans for the future. The book delivers on what the cover copy claims... and sometimes, that's just enough. I'd say this one's worth checking out. Doesn't look like it's available digitally at the moment, but shouldn't be a toughie to track down.
--
Letters Page:
--
Interesting Ads:
801
Action Comics #654 (June, 1990)
"Dark Knight over Metropolis, Part Three: Deadly Covenant"
Writer - Roger Stern
Penciller - Bob McLeod
Inker - Brett Breeding
Letterer - Bill Oakley
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Associate Editor - Jon Peterson
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: (Still only) $0.75
Okey doke, let's wrap this one up!
--
We open on a pretty contentious scene in which Superman and Batman patrol the Metropolis skies. What's interesting is Superman is acting quite a bit standoffish... almost as though he's intimidated that Batman is on "his turf". Perhaps it's more him seeing Batman not returning his favor of staying out of "his" city. Either way, I really dig this.
They happen upon the building across from Cat Grant's apartment... ya know, the one where the roof caved in. Superman decides to investigate the scene, while Batman enters Ms. Grant's pad to search for clues. Superman is shocked when, digging through the rubble, he finds Gangbuster's helmet. He's even more surprised to hear Jose Delgado's familiar voice from above.
Jose shares what had happened that night... and mentions he might have imagined Chiller shape-shifting into his likeness. Moments later, Shockwave emerges from the rubble... and it appears as though like he's lookin' for a fight. Superman is happy to oblige... and the fight doesn't even occur on panel, so that oughta tell ya how it went.
We shift scenes to an industrial park where Cat Grant is being delivered to an Intergang-allied doctor. This is Doctor Moon, and he is interested in altering Ms. Grant's memories so that she will offer a more favorable testimony during Morgan Edge's pending trial. I'd forgotten that she was a key to all that.
It isn't long before the World's Finest arrive on the scene to dispatch some justice. Chiller immediately suggests that Shockwave sold them out. Yeah, prob'ly...
While the heroes tangle with the disposable armored folks, Doctor Moon decides to take advantage of the distraction by flipping the brain-drain switch on Ms. Grant. Before he can, however... Gangbuster launches into the scene and kayos the good doc.
The fight continues for a few pages, and wraps up the only way it can. As the dust settles, we can see that Intergang big-bad Mannheim has been watching the events transpire via video monitor. In a great bit, his "yes man" Gillespie asks what this means for Morgan Edge... and Mannheim's all, "Ehh, I guess this means he takes the rap." Cold-blooded.
Superman readies the baddies for arrest while chatting with Cat and Gangbuster. It's brought to his attention that nobody's seen Batman for a few moments. Well, of course not... because he split... that's kinda what he does. This time, however, he left a note! On his cute Bat-logo stationary to boot! He informs Superman that he'll "know where to find him."
Well, where can that be? Oh yeah, Amanda McCoy's apartment... it's awesome that so many loose ends are being tied up here. Such a "packed" issue, yet it's not overwritten and it's not an info-dump. Superman arrives, finding Batman sitting (sitting on a couch... which is funny to me for reasons I can't quite put into words) amid McCoy's wrecked and ransacked pad.
Superman first accuses Batman of the ransacking... which Bruce just brushes off. He hands over the book he's been reading... Amanda McCoy's diary. It would appear she was quite the prolific journal-writer... and boy howdy, she wrote about everything... which includes the fact that Superman and Clark Kent are one in the same!
From here, we get a bit of a guided tour regarding several key moments in Superman lore dating back from just following the John Byrne Man of Steel reimagining! Amanda being fired by Luthor for suggesting Superman is really Clark Kent, her hiring a P.I., who wound up dead in Clark's apartment (during the Exile story), up to and including her own demise... which, of course isn't written about in the diary, but I think we can take Batman's word for it. I would have to imagine that these two pages were mighty satisfying for long-time readers!
Superman realizes that the folks who killed Amanda were likely now in possession of the Kryptonite ring. Oh, not so... Batman reveals that he's had it the entire time. Superman is a bit off-put by this revelation... maybe he's a bit shaken to realize that at any point in their team-up, Batman could have actually killed him. Batman hands over the lead-ring-case, and suggests Superman take the diary, along with the Smallville High School Yearbook, and Kent family photo album he'd found in the McCoy abode. Wow, lady was a bit obsessed, no?
We shift ahead in time and across the bridge to Gotham City, where Bruce Wayne is checking the morning news. The headlines indicate that Morgan Edge was found guilty... and, the Jane Doe at the morgue has been positively identified. As Alfred brings him his morning tea, the Batcave alarms go off!
He heads downstairs and throws on his costume to greet his "guest". Of course, it's Superman... and from the way he's talking, this is likely his first post-Crisis visit to the Batcave, which is pretty cool!
The two chat... and it's still pretty contentious. Superman even says that they are not friends. He tells Batman that he trusts him... he feels that he is a good person, who is working toward similar ends as himself. He proceeds to hand over the Kryptonite ring... explaining that, should he (Superman) ever become mind-controlled, or go rogue... to use it to put him down. Awesome scene, and amazing way to end this storyline!
--
Dark Knight over Metropolis ends on a high note! I think I'm so used to storylines petering out... or just plain not ending, that this really caught me off guard!
We had a few big moments here... so, let's unpack those first. Let's start with the ending... it's here that Superman gives Batman the Kryptonite ring, with the instructions to "end him" if he were ever to go rogue. It's funny to think about in retrospect... even if Superman and Batman didn't see eye-to-eye in the post-Crisis world, I always remember them knowing each other a bit better when Batman is given these instructions. Reading it back now, it's crazy to consider that the two were little more than strangers at this point!
Their standoffish nature and uneasy alliance is great. I really dig this version of the World's Finest... Superman telling Batman to get out of his city, Batman revealing that he had the Kryptonite ring the whole time... all great stuff!
The reveal of just how deep Amanda McCoy's Superman/Kent obsession runs was really cool as well. We readers knew a bit about it, from the events way back in Superman (vol.2) #2, Intergang killing the P.I. in Clark's apartment during the Exile storyline... just so many bits and pieces weaving together perfectly here. This truly feels like something that had been built toward since the Man of Steel reimagining. It's as though we can draw a line under this... with the next month's books being the start of a real and proper "next chapter".
The actual Cat Grant-Intergang story kind of pales when compared to all the rest of the stuff we just discussed, but it was handled quite well. I'd forgotten that she had vital testimony in the Morgan Edge case. I thought it was really cool how Mannheim just decided to cut his losses when things went sideways. He was cool with helping Edge... but, when push came to shove, he was fine with just walking away.
Overall... this entire storyline is most certainly recommended.
--
Interesting Ads:
