BONUS BOOK - Teen Titans (1996)

BONUS BOOK - Teen Titans (Pre-October, 1996)
"Titans Children"
Story & Pencils - Dan Jurgens
Finished Art - George Perez
Colors - Gregory Wright
Enhancement - Digital Chameleon
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft
Edits - Eddie Berganza

Waitaminute, waitaminute... You might be thinking "I know the Titans Insert Prevue, (in fact we've looked at it twice)... and this, is not that book!"  Well, you'd be right... because this one, my friends, is not that book.  This is actually a Prevue that I'd forgotten all about!  It wasn't until I had my memory jogged by pal, Grant Kitchen, that this little ditty was included betwixt the pages of Superman (vol.2) #116!

This is a sneak-peek at the second volume of Teen Titans... ya know, that attempt to give the newly teen-aged Atom a place to hang out?  That Titans book where Dan Jurgens allegedly wasn't allowed to use any Titans characters?  Yeah, that one!  We've already looked at a few issues of that run here... including the first issue.

You might notice the... very odd cover date here.  Not sure what in the world "Pre-Oct, 1996" means.  Does that mean it could've been published anytime between January and September, 1996?  Does it just mean that Superman (vol.2) was twice-monthly at this point, and for whatever reason they used "Pre" instead of "Early"?  I'm sure whatever the explanation is, it's very boring.

Before we hop in, just wanna let everybody know that this is the final post of the Fourth Year of Chris is on Infinite Earths!  Tomorrow kicks off the fifth!  Tomorrow's anniversary piece is going to be a lot of fun... and maybe just a little bit weird!

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We open, two days ago, on Titan... the largest of Saturn's 22 known Moons.  Nowadays, Saturn's known to have at least 62... though, Titan is still regarded as the biggest.  Heck, it's larger than Mercury.  Anyhoo, these Titans of the Teen variety, who we have yet to be introduced to, are... maybe being abducted and held hostage there?  A hooded figure (that is, Omen) laments their failure in stopping this from occurring.

We join them in space, where the fellas have all become just a bit more buff.  They fight a pair of Psion aliens, the blonde kid refers to as "Pinky and the Brain", just in case we'd forgotten when this book came out.  In the skirmish, they discover the bagged body of... oh my, is that Doomsday?!  That sure looks like Doomsday's Goggle-Sack outfit!

Well, no... for better or worse, it's not Doomsday.  It's actually Prism, who will be another member of our team.  She blames the Psions for taking her world... and postures threateningly.

We jump ahead, and the day is saved... apparently.  I gotta say, this is a really strange way to give an "Insert Prevue".  This is really just bits and pieces from issues of the series that are yet to come out... so, we're bouncing around a good bit.  So yeah, everything's cool... and the kids have even convinced the Psion, Dorek to give them a ride home.

We wrap up back on Earth... and the Titans try on their new "Calvin Klein" duds, and pick their code names.  The recently teen-aged Atom, who was a part of this whole mess decides to stick around and help out.  It's not like he has an ongoing series or anything... so, what the heck, right?

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So... heckuva way to introduce a new team, huh?

I am, of course, being facetious... this wasn't really all that great.  An assortment of scenes from the first few issues of the soon-to-release ongoing series... with much/all of the context removed... just doesn't seem like anything to get all "rah-rah" about.  I know, had I been reading DC Comics back in 1996... I most certainly would not have been enticed to pick up the first issue of Teen Titans (vol.2) based solely off of this Prevue.

It just doesn't do anything to introduce the characters... which, ya gotta figure, is sort of the selling point to a team book... no?  You want to follow a team book because you care about the characters... you have some sort of interest or investment in them.  This fails to provide any of that.  Even the "mysteries" here feel half-baked.  Who's the hooded figure?  Who cares?  What's the deal with the girl in the Doomsday gimp-suit?  Again, who cares?  Now that I think of it, if anything... this Prevue might've actually hindered me from picking up that first issue!  Couldn't imagine how actual Titans fans felt seeing this back in the day!

Worth noting (maybe just to ninnies like myself), if you scan any of the DC Wikis and whatnot looking for first appearances, these new Teen Titans we're introduced to are listed as first appearing in Teen Titans (vol.2) #1... and not here.  According to Mike's Amazing World, this issue of Superman (vol.2) hit shelves on July 31, 1996... whereas, Teen Titans (vol.2) #1 came out almost a full-month later on August 28.  So, these Titans don't quite get the New Teen Titans treatment of having their first appearance listed as the "Insert Prevue".  Probably a weird sticking point for me... but, these are the sort of things that keep me up at night!

Overall... nah, didn't dig this.  Felt too disjointed, and didn't build much of a defined mystery to derive curiosity from someone who was just reading Superman... but, that's just one dude's opinion.  Maybe you feel differently... and this Prevue got you hyped to jump into TTv2 with both feet?

Anyhoo, that'll do it for today... please come back tomorrow for my FOUR-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of putting out DAILY Discussions and Reviews of DC-and-DC-Adjacent-Comics!  It'll be a good time... I promise!

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Interesting (and Relevant) Ad:

BONUS BOOK - Lightning Racers (1990)

BONUS BOOK - Lightning Racers (January, 1990)
"Lightning Racers"
Written, Drawn, Colored, Lettered, and Edited by... someone, I guess!  Was it you?  Please, let me know!

I always say... if you're gonna do something, ya do it all the way.  Last month we started our journey, weaving through Insert Prevues and Bonus Books, taking a look at every last one.  Well, I use several sources online for my information... and, around Christmastime, when I was perusing Mike's Amazing World's "Bonus Books" list... I was reminded of this very Lightning Racers insert.  This is something I'd seen a couple of times during various read-thru's of old DC Comics... but, certainly not anything I'd ever stopped to actually read.

Well, we're going to fix that today... and, with it... officially draw a line under our Bonus Books coverage!

Though it appeared in several DC books around this time, I am reading it from Superman (vol.2) #39 (January, 1990).  Oh, by the way... if you have even the foggiest who wrote/drew/contributed to this story, please lemme know!  I have not been able to find even a single credit for this bugger!

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Our story opens with a trio of lads engaged in micro-racing battle!  Who will wind up in the winner's circle?  Will it be... that one kid's Grasshopper?  Perhaps the other kid's Rising Bird?  Or, maybe... just maybe, the third kid's Avante.  I'm going with the last one, because it's got the fanciest name.  Well, as it turns out... it's a moot point.  Ya see, MRC-Tamiya Racers are so easy to assemble, customize, and optimize... that these racers were neck-and-neck for the entire duration!  There's no photo-finish in micro-race land, so I suppose we'll have to call this one a three-way tie.  Though, if I'm being impartial and honest, I'd probably give it to Grasshopper.  Just then, a fourth lad arrives on the scene to show off his latest and greatest.  Ya see, he dumped that piece'a crap micro racer he used to run... and wisely bought himself an MRC-Tamiya.  His is the Vanquish, Jr.  Junior?  Is there a Senior version?  Can micro cars reproduce?

The boys are overjoyed that their pal joined them on the darkside of Microcar racing.  When asked how he could afford such luxury, this new kid reveals that, Vanquish, Jr. didn't break his bank in the slightest!  In fact, he only had to save up less than one week's allowance.  Less than one week's allowance?  Is this little jerk paid by the day?  I don't think that's how allowance works.  He bought it from Mr. Gibbons' store... where, wouldn'tcha know it, he's got The Official MRC-Tamiya Racing Circuit set up!  What luck!  Now the kids won't have to use "lengths of hose" to keep their cars from bumping into each other!

Less than thirty-minutes later, Vanquish, Jr. has been assembled.  Ya see, check this out... with MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers, you don't even need glue!  Bah God, they just snap together, and you're good to go!  So easy, even a dullard can do it!  Though, it's worth noting, this particular dullard looks mighty proud of his achievement... smug, even!  We follow the quartet to the mall, where they're keen to get down and dirty on the regulation racetrack.

Just then, from across the way... there's a bit of a to-do at the jewelry store!  Ya see, a costume baddie has shown up... and he's threatening to use his Shrink-Ray to, well, shrink all of the jewelry in the joint so he can steal it.  I mean, isn't jewelry already small enough?  I dunno.  The proprietor of the jewelry store doesn't take this goofball seriously, and even pulls a "Get a load'a dis guy?" to ol' Mr. Gibbons.

The baddie don't cotton to bein' mocked... and so, he unloads his Shrink Ray in Gibbons' direction.  Gibbons, who just happened to be standing on a ladder, finds himself off-balance when the very ladder itself is shrunk down to fun-size.

Our fearsome foursome are not happy to see their MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers Pusherman knocked on his butt... and decide this is a job for, well... them.  Our villain responds by blasting them with the Shrink Ray, reducing them to just inches in size (and as luck would have it, 1/32 in scale!).  Ya see where this story might be headed?

Dr. Micro... that's the bad guy's name... then shrinks an entire counterful of jewelry and flees the scene.

As this is going down... get this, the boys spend... I'm going to assume, less than a half-hour... putting together some MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers... which, now that they've been shrunken, are "life-size".  Thank all that you find holy that they don't even need glue!  They each soup-up their rigs in different ways in order to handle all sorts of obstacles and terrain.  I'm not sure these cars actually have, ya know, engines... accelerators... hell, even steering wheels, and all that... but, we'll allow it.  Worth noting, one has a spoiler which reads "Being Nuts is NEAT!", which... I'm not a tattoo guy, but if I were... that'd be the one I'd go with.

As luck would have it, by the time the boys are done building... Dr. Micro still hasn't left the mall yet!  He's being hassled by a Security Guard who the jewelry store guy tattled to!  Whatta revoltin' development!

Dr. Micro tires of such tomfoolery... and decides, screw it... I'ma just gonna run.  He rushes through the parking lot, with the Lightning Racers hot on his trail, and hops on his motorcycle.

On his bike, he drives right into... a parade?  Well, that's a lucky break for our Lightning Racers, who take a short-cut through a nearby construction zone in order to get a jump on the Doc.  Looks like it was wise of the boys to prepare for all sorts of obstacles... that foresight is definitely coming in handy right now!

The kids manage to follow Dr. Micro all the way back to his hideout... which, is really just a garage.  I wonder what his neighbors must think?  Anyhoo, only three of our racers are able to get inside before the door slams shut... leaving one straggler (the new kid) stuck outside.

Our Junior Vanquisher, however, spies among the refuse, a piece of lumber tilted diagonally pointed right toward an... open window, and gets an idea.  Waitasecond, this supervillain leaves his windows open?  C'mon.  I can believe kids can be shrunk down... and operate cars that don't have gas pedals or steering wheels, but this is a step too far.

Inside, Doc Micro plops his mini-jewels down (minds out of the gutter, gang) and uses his enlarging ray to restore them to actual size!  Waitasecond again... this clown has an enlarging ray... and rather than causing the jewels to grow to gigantic size... he just brings them back to their actual size?  Would stand to reason that ten-pounds of gold would be of more value than ten-ounces, right?  C'mon, Dr. Micro... think man!

While Micro twirls around cackling like an idiot, our original trio bails from their Lightning Racers to... I dunno... do, something I guess.  When it doesn't involve MRC-Tamiya Racers, these kids don't seem to be the best of planners.  Micro notices them... and plops a very convenient glass dome over them.  Ya see, he plans to zap them with the Shrink Ray again... to make 'em even smaller!  I mean, why not just have different settings on the gun itself?

Just then... the Junior Vanquisher flies in through the window, konks Doc Micro on the head... causing him to bonk into the enlarger ray button... which just so happens to be hanging from the ceiling?  Fair enough.

This causes our tiny trio to grow back to full-size.  They manage to tackle the goofball baddie... proving that three dumb kids can overpower a supervillain... so long as they're the right dumb kids.

With Micro bound and gagged, the boys return Junior Vanquisher back to normal... and, just then... a gaggle of Police burst in the garage!  So... was this whole thing pointless?  Like, were the Cops going to catch Dr. Micro anyway?  Did the kids risk their lives for no reason at all?!

The Police Lieutenant (took me four tries to spell that right) and the Media arrive.  The boys try and tell their shrunken story... which the Lt. doesn't buy for a minute.  I mean, there were witnesses to that, right?  Like a mall-full of 'em?  What's this guy's problem?  Anyhoo, he takes all the adulation and praise... and makes it sound like he was the hero of the story.

Back at Gibbons' Place, the boys are congratulated for being in the wrong place at the wrong time... and are even allowed to keep the cars they'd built during their adventure!  Heck, Gibbons is so overjoyed he's going to give them the next round of MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers that come in the shop as well!  That Mr. Gibbons... one shrewd businessman.

We wrap up with our boys racing on the regulation track... Ready!  Set!  Go!

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Okay, this might be the goofiest thing I've covered here in quite some time... but, I can't lie and say I didn't enjoy the heck out of it!  Sure, it's just a commercial for some toy cars... but, ya know... I've definitely read worse comic book stories.  Hell, I've read worse comic book stories this week!

It's difficult for me to actually, ya know, analyze this one... because, it is what it is.  It's not high-art, it's not trying to be anything other than what it is... an enticement to rush down to your local Hobby Shop and procure mass quantities of MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers and MRC-Tamiya Lightning Racers accessories.

Now, growing up, I was never a "car guy".  Sure, I had my fair share of Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars... I think all little boys do/did!  But, I'd rather have been playing with action figures.  I feel like I lack the imagination to make a "play session" involving little cars be fun.  I didn't even think Transformers were fun!  So, with that having been said... this little excursion into Ad-tertainment would not have worked on me.  If you are/were into toy cars and racing, however, your (no pun intended) mileage may vary.

These sort of cars were apparently quite a big deal in the world of boy's toys back in the late-80's.  Being a fella who was a boy back in the late-80's, I gotta say... that's news to me!  You can check out this piece from New York Magazine:

Even Boys Life Magazine... which, as a Cub Scout at the time, I'm sure I was subscribed to, listed Lightning Racers as one of their top Christmas gifts of 1989!  Then again, they list WrestleMania for the NES too... so, maybe we don't put too much stock into what they say.

For me though, this was just a silly story... and one with, almost shockingly good art!  I couldn't even hazard a guess as to who might've drawn this... I see flashes of different artists in some of the panels.  Dr. Micro gives me very strong Carmine Infantino vibes in some of the panels, but I couldn't make a definitive statement either way.  The rest of the story looks nothing like latter-day Infantino... at least not to me!

Now, if you were concerned about the reality of this story... first, c'mon... second, c'mahhhhhhhn... third, here's a disclaimer/warning that was included at the end:

So, after telling (and showing) us how these li'l buggers can handle all sorts of terrain and obstacles, we're told explicitly not to run our Lightning Racers on the streets.  What's more, if it happens to find its way into the street... just abandon the damn thing, it ain't worth risking yer neck to retrieve it!  Oh well.

In our latest Bonus Books features, we've spent a little time getting to know our creative teams.  Since this story doesn't credit one, we'll have to get a little bit creative.  Let's meet Tamiya!

Tamiya Incorporated was founded (as Tamiya Shoji & Co.) in 1946... and is still in operation today.  While they began as a lumber company (hey, maybe they were responsible for that piece of wood Vanquisher, Jr. used to bust in on Doc Micro!) in more recent years they manufacture models of all sorts... plastic, radio-control, sailboats, even solar-powered models!

This here comic book wasn't just an "Insert Prevue" or "Bonus Book", or whatever we're calling it... this one was actually both a standalone giveaway and a pack-in with the Rising Bird model set.  The box advertises an "18 Page" booklet... and since this story is only 14 (counting the cover and text pages), I gotta wonder what "challenges" appeared on the other four!  Man, don't tell me I actually gotta track one'a these buggers down...

If we flip the box over... well, it looks like all of the Lightning Racers were "Juniors"!  Whodathunkit?

Overall... had wayyy more fun with this one than should've been possible... and I recommend giving this one a full read, should you come across it during a (re)read of a circa-1990 DC Comic.  I'd still love to know who was involved in the creation of it... if anyone happens to know, please pass that information my way!

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(Not the) Letters Page/Interesting Ads (???):

Bonus Book #13 - Maxwell Lord (1989)

Bonus Book #13 - Maxwell Lord (February, 1989)

"Hostage!"

Writer - David Levin

Art - Dean Haspiel

Letters - Jon D'Agostino

Colors - Matt Webb

Edits - Joey Cavalieri

Executive Edits - Joe Orlando

Today is our final Bonus Book... boy, how time flies!  After thirteen installments, DC Comics decided to abandon the gimmick... and judging by our last few "Bonus Book Bio" pages, did so with very little fanfare.

Well, I guess we can hand it to 'em for giving readers all those extra pages for no charge, right?  I know I wouldn't complain... kinda reminds me of folks who were losing their mind at DC's most recent price-hike (to $3.99 across the board).  So much passive-aggression online, mocking DC for their inability to "Draw the Line at $2.99", completely ignoring the fact that DC did give us a few years of three-buck books... while Marvel's been edging up closer and closer to the $4.99 across-the-board mark for years now!  Now, I'm certainly not "carrying DC's water" or nothin'... I think they're almost 100% dunderheads running the place now, but, credit where it's due... ya know?

Anyhoo... this final extra was included with (the already over-sized) Justice League International #24 (February, 1989).

Before hopping in... tomorrow's piece will be much different in both tone and length than what I've been doing, for it is Super-Blog Team-Up and I've got something special planned!  The day after that, however, we've got a "Bonus" Bonus Book to check out... and after that... well, I'm not sure quite what's on the agenda just yet!

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We open at the Justice League's New York Embassy, where Booster Gold is on Monitor Duty.  Well, he's supposed to be, anyway... he's actually more interested in the tiny television set he swiped from elsewhere in the building.  Ya see, Batman decided that having a television feed wrapped up in the monitoring system would prove to be a distraction... and, ya know, is Batman (even back in the 80's) ever wrong?  Course not.  Anyhoo, Maxwell Lord pops his head in to see what's what (and to see who swiped his "Watchman" mini-TV)... and tells Booster that he's rotting his brain or something, and suggests he read to pass the "down-time" at the monitors.  Booster and Beetle ask Max to do them a solid and buy them a new TV set... it'll only set him back fifteen-grand.  Unsurprisingly, Max ain't down with that.

Max takes his leave, he has business elsewhere.  Outside the Embassy, he hops into a limousine... and finds himself locked in!  The driver, either a masked-man with a weird speech pattern or a robot (with a weird speech pattern) tells him to just relax and enjoy the ride.

Max, knowing he doesn't have all that much choice, just halfheartedly sulks in the backseat until they reach their destination.  He is delivered to... I dunno, Cuban revolutionaries?  They've got a very Castro-flair to their outfits.

A woman greets her new hostage, and informs him that they've been hired to nab him in order to access all of the secrets of the Justice League... I guess that tabloid hasn't come out just yet.  Max is really dismissive of his captors, and immediately asks if they "got any caviar".  Yeesh... this isn't all that great, is it?

The baddies call the Embassy, and inform Booster Gold that they've got their man held hostage.  What's more, they want half-a-bill before they'll release him!  Blue Beetle overhears the exchange and expresses sympathy... for the kidnappers.  Ya get it?  Max is a pain in the ass!  Get it?

Back wherever, Max is seated in a room making small-talk with a guard.  We learn that the kidnappers are mercenaries... which, duh.  Max goes on to sweet talk the fella, even offers him an opportunity in his operation.  Before this dude can answer, however, there's a shift-change.  And so, Max begins his spiel again.

The lady captor, and the brains of the operation, calls into her superior.  We find out that without Max's express authorization... that half-a-bill cannot be released.  Whoops.

She charges into Max's room to tell him they need his authorization... only to find her two guards arguing over which one of 'em is the best.  Looks like Lord talked these geeks into circles.

The League gets another call... the kidnappers have cut their demands in half... they only want a quarter-bill for Max's safe return.  Booster tries to keep them on the line long enough for Beetle to trace the call, but it's no avail.

The lady captor calls back in to their boss to let him know they've lowered their asking-price... hopeful that a mere two-hunnid-fitty-million might not need Max's authorization.  The boss is pretty ticked off, claiming they've just killed their profit margin.  The woman and her goons... are fired.

She charges back into Max's room... only to find herself staring down the barrels of her goons' guns.  Ya see, Max has hired them... doubled their salaries, even!  The lady captor asks if there's room for her in his organization.

And... oh my stars, what in the hell is this?  This might be the ugliest panel I've ever seen in a comic book.  I mean, great googly-moogly, how did this even happen?!  I... I'm not sure I can move passed this.  Yeah, DC's Editorial was completely checked out at this point in the Bonus Book Program!  Eeesh... my skin's crawlin'.

Gad-zooks!

Okay, okay... let's press on.  The League gets another call to pick up Max... this time, however, Booster and Beetle decide to pull a fast one and make some demands of their own.  They'll take Max back... for fifteen-thousand dollars!

We wrap up with Max returning to the Embassy... to find Booster and Beetle watching their $15,000 television.  Wonk, wonk, wonnnnnnk.

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There's that saying about writing... it's hard to successfully write "scary" and/or "funny".  This story is proof-positive of the latter.  Thing of it is, I can't say that Booster, Beetle, or Max were written out of character, or anything... I just don't feel like the gag "landed"... just fell flat.  A lot of the dialogue and exchanges felt "right"... but, in that seventh-season of a sitcom way, like we talked about... the last time we had a Justice League International-flavored Bonus Book!  It's as though doing a Giffen/DeMatteis impression superseded the need to write a decent story.  What we get here... was, I dunno... "cute", I guess?  At least the "gag", flat as it might've felt, wrapped around?

Our writer, David Levin, has rather a strange comic book origin story.  While he found much of his success elsewhere (he's a director and producer... did some work for MTV's Rockumentaries as well as a lauded film on the 9/11 attacks).  In comics, however, Levin is notable for having written what is arguably the rarest DC comic book of all-time.

Superman: This Island Bradman, was privately-commissioned (for a reported £10,000) by an English property tycoon named Godfrey Bradman in order to celebrate his son, Daniel's Bar Mitzvah.  This bugger was so official, it was drawn by Curt Swan... and even got an indicia!  This was a real comic book!  My inner-completionist weeps!

Per Paul Levitz's 75 Years of DC Comics: The Art of Modern Mythmaking (TASCHEN, 2010) only 200 copies of this b(r)adboy were put to print!  Sooo... if you're ever trawling the cheap-o bins, and happen to come across this one... snag it!  That would definitely be a fun one to take a look at!

From 75 Years of DC Comics: The Art of Modern Mythmaking (TASCHEN)

Across the table, sits our artist.  We met Dean Haspiel the other day, and while I appreciated his art in the Detective Comics Bonus Book... I did not like this in the slightest.  Even if we take that panel out of the equation, this just didn't look all that great.  Perhaps, and this is 100% me projecting, this was just the fulfillment of a contract?  I mean, it was the last one of these... maybe it was just a "get 'er done" sort of scenario?

Overall... the Bonus Book program didn't quite go "out with a bang"... but, then again, how many cancelled comic book things actually do?

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(Not the) Letters Page: