Out There #1 (July, 2001)
Writer - Brian Augustyn
Pencils - Humberto Ramos
Inks - Sandra Hope
Colors - Studio F
Letters - Ryan Cline
Edits - Scott Dunbier
Cover Price: $2.50
Got an interesting one today... a bit strange too. Dare I say, it's a little bit "out there".
I apologize, that was horribly lazy (it's Sunday, please forgive me)... let's just pop into the spoilery synopsis!
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We open with a young woman walking down an empty street. Crying and confused, she calls out to her parents... or anyone who might hear her... but the streets appear to be completely abandoned. Suddenly, she is overcome with little beasties... and before she knows it, she's whisked away to a demonic landscape where she is met by something calling itself Draedalus. Upon getting a closer look, the girl sees her parents (and a lot of other ordinary folks) just floating in the ether, and being dumped to the ground by the Big D.
Turns out... this was all a dream! The young woman, who we learn is named Jess, gets up and gets ready for school.
Speaking of school, that's our next stop. It's here we meet a young genius named Mark Wexler, as he goes about his usual morning torment at the hands of some jock bullies. After having his glasses swiped and being shoved to the ground, the Zach the Quarterback rolls in to tell his teammates to leave the kid alone.
Though he doesn't seem to really care all that much for young Master Wexler, Zach tells the team that they're not going to act as bullies. Ya see, if they wind up getting suspended, they'll be off the team! Just then a... bearded girl runs up and starts hugging on Zach! Okay, I think this is just a coloring/shading snafu, but tell me it doesn't look like she has a beard! Zach looks up to the top of the building, and could swear he saw one'a dem li'l beasties.
We jump across town to the Mayor's Mansion, where a big ol' real estate deal is in the works some of the VIPs of El Dorado City including Zach's father. After signing on the dotted-line, the Mayor retreats to a side room to tell some beasties that the can inform their Master that she's got things well at hand.
Back at school, Jess has a contentious run-in with Zach's no-longer bearded girlfriend, Casey. Tonight's the night of the Harvest Dance, and the mean girls are making fun of Jess because ain't nobody wants her there, or some such. Jess promises to be a dark cloud at that dance... and declares that she'll rain all over the "bimbo parade". Let's... choose not to take that remark literally, okay?
Later, we rejoin li'l Markie at his father's CPA offices. Papa Wexler insists his son looks "dashing" and that he will have a great time at the Harvest Fling-Ding-Thing. Naturally, Mark is wearing one of those stereotypical baby blue "bad tuxes"... which is also like three sizes too large.
We shift scenes to a small church. A woman is sweeping the porch, and notes that it's gotten a little windy today. She wonders aloud if this might be due to "them".
Later into the evening, a pair of drug-dealers enter El Dorado City. Their dialogue here is... woof. They talk about franchising their enterprise... with a website. Double-You, Double-You, Double-You... dot... Smack... dot... com (which is something I just now typed into my browser... but it didn't take me anywhere. These guys might still have a shot at the domain!). Anyhoo, they're pulled over by the po-lice, where they're met with a vulgar abuse of authority by an Officer. Vulgar, in that... he calls forth a bunch'a beasties to feastie on the fellas.
Finally, it's time for the Harvest Dance, and Jess has in fact decided to show up... lookin' only as she can look. Total style shift from her usual school attire... which catches some of her classmates off-guard. Li'l Markie watches as she shoves some goofball to the ground, and realizes... he's quite smitten. He also, uh, sees one'a the beasties... he refers to this as his "Friendly Neighborhood Hallucination", which tells us seein' these things is a usual occurrence for the kid.
Inside, Jess bumps into Casey... and they... compliment each other's dresses! How 'bout that? The Harvest Dance bringin' people together! Zach the Quarterback also feasts his eyes on Jess... and gets all homina-homina-homina... which sets Casey off somethin' fierce. She storms out, and Zach follows.
Once in the hallway, Casey and Zach start making out against the lockers... hard. Maybe they've got some sort of reverse-cuckold fetish or something. I ain't gonna judge... whatever works for 'em! Anyhoo, while they're bumping and grinding, they spy... say it with me... one'a dem beasties out the window!
Li'l Markie, proving himself to be rather a perv, might be watching these two making out? It isn't terribly clear if this is happening in exactly the same place. He wonders aloud where Jess is at... and it just so happens, she was standing behind him... watching him perv out? As Jess goes to confront the kid, they both see... dem beasties!
Outside in the parking lot, one of the football players is waiting... presumably for those drug dealers we just saw get eaten. He's confronted instead by Principal Hodges, who informs him that his "package" ain't never gonna arrive. Hodges then... shoots the kid dead! Two of "dem beasties" pop outta the Principal's chest... leaving him one bewildered child murderer!
We wrap up with the revelation that Jess, Mark, Casey, and Zach all watched this scene play out... but, what are they gonna do about it?!
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This was a lot of fun. It's been in my collection... jeez, nearly twenty-years... and I've never taken a look a look at it til now.
Now, I can't say that I've seen all that many 80's horror movies, but I'm familiar enough with the conceits and themes... which, this book seems to have in spades. That's not a knock, or a bad thing in any way. This really takes care in pulling together many of those tropes/cliches, and delivers a really fun (and intriguing) story.
We've got the high school setting, which is pretty perfect, and gives Augustyn plenty of opportunity to play into some of the stereotypical/archetypal personalities. We've got the "Mean Girl" clique, who are at odds with the sorta-gothy loner. We have a football team full of meatheads and bullies, who defer to their only member who appears to have a "heart of gold"... or, at the very least, a conscience. We have the little nerdy kid with attitude. It's really nothing we haven't seen before (or since), but it's done with such charm and earnestness, that I can't help but to love it.
El Dorado City definitely has a big secret, as evidenced by the hoi-polois gathering at the Mayor's Mansion. The beasties have gotten in... and we're left wondering how many of the VIPs 'round town are willingly in cahoots with them. Their presence, at the very least, is acknowledged a few times here... the kids seem haunted by these "in the corner of their eye" demons on a regular basis... the woman at the church seems to know... and, perhaps the Officer who pulled over the drug dealers as well. It's clear that the Mayor is aware... and is cooperating.
We get a lot of questions here... and, I'm actually wanting to know more. That doesn't happen too often for me these days!
Let's talk art. I know Humberto Ramos can be a bit divisive... but, I've always enjoyed his work. This semi-early work is probably some of my favorite Ramos stuff. The characters (outside of the weird-beard coloring goof on Casey), are all really great looking, and stand out from the rest of the crowd. That's something that usually trips me up when reading a book full of "normal" people. It's hard to make them look distinct... with maybe a little bit in the way of "cartoonish" identifiers, without making them look like costume shop models. Ya know what I mean? Does that make sense?
Being the horrible pack-rat you know me to be, it may not come as a surprise that I actually still have the Out There Promotional Preview. It's not much of a Preview, only the first two pages. When I thought about covering book on the site, it was actually the Preview that came to mind first! I figured it would be a quickie article, wherein I'd have to synopsize less than ten pages. When I saw it was only two, I felt like that would'a been a massive cop-out (and, honestly, a disservice to the property).
Here's a look at the Preview Edition... same cover, with some promo-blurbs:
Inside, it's the first two pages, featuring Jess's nightmare (which is why I didn't include these pages in the main synopsis).
This promo was actually a WildStorm/Cliffhanger! "flip book"... turn this sucker over, and we see Ninja Boy!
We get a two-page preview of this one as well...
Overall... I had much more fun with this than I ever imagined... and, although my WildStorm offerings at the site are some of my least-viewed, I'm tempted to come back and cover the next issue or two. I'd say, if you're a fan of 80's horror movies, or light high school drama, this book might be right up your alley. Looks like if you have Comixology Unlimited, this entire series is just waiting to be read!
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DCU Holiday Bash! #1 (Flash)
"Present Tense"
Writers - Brian Augustyn & Mark Waid
Pencils - Paul Ryan
Inks - Dick Giordano
Colors - Tom McCraw
Letters - John Costanza
Editors - Mike Carlin & Darren Vincenzo
It's December 6th... which, is one of those days on the calendar that's always stuck out for me. Some thirty-five years ago, when I was in first grade, we had our Christmas Field Trip on December 6th... and, for whatever reason, it's remained as sort of a touchstone day in the countdown to Christmas ever since.
Weird stuff ya remember...
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We open twenty-minutes before Wally and Linda's Christmas Party, and the former has just set up the Tree. He's overly pleased with himself, not only for that, but because this year, he'd found the perfect gift for his girlfriend: The Fastest Microwave Oven on Earth. Woof. C'mon, dude. Anyhoo, as he's just about to wrap his gift, he overhears Linda on the phone with her mother. She excitedly reports that this year, she told Wally exactly what she wanted... and she's sure to be getting just that. Our man is absolutely gobsmacked... as he doesn't remember any such discussion having taken place!
And so... he suits up, jams out, and tries to figure out just what this perfect gift might've been! First stop, Boone's Department Store downtown. Inside he sees the second ugliest sweater in this story (Wally's own sweater from earlier might've just edged it out). He decides the gift Linda wanted must've been... a scarf. He buys the thing, only to realize it's 100% cashmere... which Linda is allergic to. Imagine that, a cashmere allergy?
Since shops are about to close up for the night... Mr. West must go west. Next stop, Poccini's in Beverly Hills. There, he sees the same ugly sweater... and flashes back to the chat he and Linda had about gifts. The discussion just so happened to have occurred right in front of these nasty sweaters... only problem being, for the life of him, he cannot remember what she said! He decides here to buy her an expensive cosmetics case. When the shop-girl asks what Linda does for a living, he tells her that she's on the TV news... to which, the girl informs him that, Linda's got a half-dozen people prettying up her face, the last thing she'll need is a make-up kit!
Rushing through the time-zones, our next stop is Hawaii! Wally stops at a Curio Shop, where... hey, wouldja lookit that, the ugly sweaters are there! Wally winds up choosing a piece of jewelry... which is all well and good, until he learns that it's a wedding band. Whoops.
And so, further West we go... so far West, it become East! Flash arrives in Hong Kong... and nearly buys some scary statues for his lady love, before thinking better of it. Defeated, he heads out of the shop and slumps against the wall. When he looks up, he sees the Wong Fu Factory Outlet... which, just so happens to be filled to the brim with, say it with me, those ugly sweaters! Again Wally racks his brain to try and remember what Linda asked for... and, it finally comes to him!
We rejoin Wally at the Christmas Party, where Linda has just opened her gift. Heyyy, it's the ugly sweater! She's, uh, not entirely sure what to make of such a grand gesture. Wally informs her that this isn't for her to wear, but as a reminder of the conversation they had in front of the display at the store... about what Linda really wanted for Christmas.
Turns out, Linda didn't want nuthin'! She was telling Wally that she has everything she could ever need... and gifts don't prove anything. I mean, that begs the question as to what she was telling her mother over the phone earlier... but, whattayagonnado? Wally and Linda embrace, and prepare to share a long winter's nap.
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This was cute. Sure, we gotta kinda twist some things to make it work... but, it's still a cute story.
I'm not the biggest fan of making Wally into a sorta clueless sitcom dad/husband. I mean, a microwave oven? C'mon, dude. I'd expect a bit more from him than that... especially from the fellas who write his monthly adventures.
Second, Linda's conversation with her mother. Why wouldn't she have just said, "I told him not to get me anything" rather than, "I told him exactly what to get me...", when that thing is... "nothing"? Nobody talks like that. It just doesn't make any sense. Least it served its purpose by getting this story off and running (pun!).
The story overall was pretty neat... gave me some "warm fuzzies", which I suppose is good enough.
Tomorrow: A new version of the same Batman Christmas story we've seen a dozen times already!
Gross Point #1 (August, 1997)
"Welcome to Gross Point"
Story - Mark Waid & Brian Augustyn
Pencils - Sean "S.M." Taggart
Inks - Roger Langridge
Colors - Patricia Mulvihill
Letters - Rick Parker
Editor - Martin Pasko
Cover Price: $2.50
Welcome to a "sort-kinda" installment of #boohauntedblog.
Gross Point is one of those books that totally flew under my radar back in the long ago. Just looking at the cover tells me this probably isn't my kind of book... let's find out together.
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We open with the Pickett family as they drive into their new home town, Gross Point. Looks like Howard (the father) finally found himself a job that doesn't involve bagging groceries. His wife, Charmaine is supportive, but not all that happy that he appears to be falling asleep at the wheel. In the back seat, we meet their children, teen-age twins Terri and Andy... who are at each other's throats over a pair of dead batteries, and a missing hair dryer.
As they drive, we can get a look at how strange this little town is. There's a boy delivering papers from a wagon being pulled by a little were-beast. A Policeman appears to have a whistle growing out of his face, a reptilian child is being pushed in a baby carriage... they also pass a "Jiffy Mortuary" where your passed loved ones can be laminated while you wait. What I'm saying is, this is an odd place.
They finally pull up to their new digs, which is right next door to a house shaped like a rubber duck... only to find that it's still being worked on.
Their robotic realtor explains that the place ain't quite ready for them yet (they've got some "howling" to deal with), and sends them to the nearby Hotel DeKaye for the night. As our Picketts pull away, we can see that another one of their neighbors is dealing with a tentacled horror. Nobody notices this.
At the Hotel, the Picketts are "greeted" by a pair of surly siamese conjoined twins. Their bags are taken by a rabid monkey bellboy named Klepto. Yeah... this is starting to wear on me a bit.
We join Terri and Andy in their room... where they argue some more about the blow dryer. As Andy tries to fall asleep, he realizes he is in direct beam of a nearby lighthouse (there are no bodies of water around, by the way).
The next morning, the Picketts wake up late. Ya see, Klepto stole their alarm clock. This means that Howard Pickett is late for his first day of work. Whoops. The kids are left to their own devices for the day... Dad heads in to work anyway, and Mom trudges down to the Employment Office, where she meets a Fortune Teller of some stripe, because of course she does.
We follow Howard into work at Septum International Corporation )(SIC), where he has his first meeting with his new boss, Mr. Septum. The boss has a gigantic nose... and thinks the name "Pickett" is a joke about it. He renames our man "Peckman". He dismisses Howard with a supersonic sneeze, which leaves him in a bad way.
We shift scenes to the Gross Point Mall where Andy and Terri are... well, loitering for a bit. A lot of low-hanging "weirdness" is afoot... and it feels like we've been reading this for several hours at this point.
They head into an arcade where Andy almost plays a game of 9-Fingered Dave... which involves sticking one's hand into a hole (and probably taking it out one finger short). Thankfully (?) Terri realizes the gimmick, and we don't find out.
Their next stop is a fine eatery... okay, the food court. They eat, and they puke. After an argument (during which Terri invokes the dreaded "Scrote-Azoid" insult) they part company.
The return to their new home (separately)... and are both forced to break in (again, separately... so, now the house has two busted out points-of-entry). They run into one another inside, and nearly scare the "scrapple" out of each other.
To further that fear, they then hear that howling the robo-realtor warned them about. Then... out of nowhere, a weird little hunchbacked handyman appears. He puts together a makeshift flamethrower and heads into the basement to deal with... whatever the hell is howling.
Quick as he arrives, he vanishes... back into the cuckoo clock? Okay.
The issue (finally) ends with the twins making nice and the family moving into their new digs. Oh yeah, also with the realization that they're still in the direct beam of the lighthouse. Wonk wonk wonkkkk.
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Well, this felt endless.
Like I mentioned during the pre-ramble, this is one of those books I don't remember ever seeing on the racks. One of those oddities you discover in the bins, and you you're so surprised that you actually attempt to triangulate your fandom around where you were when this book came out. It's like, yeah... I was buying comics... so, why in the hell do I not remember this?!
Well, it doesn't seem like 17 year old Chris missed out on all that much. This was (in my opinion)... pretty weak, poorly paced, and... ultimately, I feel it overstayed its welcome. There were plenty of neat and clever little "bits" here... it's just that they were buried among just so many that missed the mark. Speedy-Mortuary equipped with a laminating machine? Clever. Big-nosed CEO? Not so much.
It's not that the trappings were bad... I'm always down for a "fish out of water" story... plopping an ordinary family into this quirky, unreal town of Gross Point... should be a slam dunk. But, it's not. I dunno, maybe it's me. None of the characters come across as all that likable... seems like if even one of 'em were, there might be something to "grab" me... give me something to root for.
The art here is pretty neat... it reminds me of that short-lived show, Mission Hill. Even a little bit like that (also, short-lived) Clerks. animated series. The art is definitely the highlight (at least for me), and is doing all of the heavy-lifting.
Overall... well, I couldn't flat-out tell ya to "avoid" this... just that I didn't much care for it.
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