BIZARRO BREAK #7 (The Spectre) Story - Chris Duffy Art - Craig Thompson Colors - Dave Stewart Edits - Joey Cavalieri It's been fun over the past few days writing about subjects that folks might actually want to read about... but, it's about time I got back to a subject nobody cares about, and very few people will bother to read: the #BizarroBreak! This time out, we're featuring... oy, the Spectre. Let's do it. --
We open with a quick and dirty origin of the Jim Corrigan version of the Spectre... cop killed by gangsters, becomes a spirit of vengeance... yadda, yadda. We then jump over to the Police Station, where rookie cop Terry Noonan is getting his bearings. He's really quite excited to be a part of the force... perhaps, a little too excited, as it would appear that his gleeful exuberance has gotten the attention of... well, Detective Jim Corrigan, who claims to be in the middle of thinking of new ways to fight crime. Fair enough. Our boy Terry is warned to keep his distance from grumpy ol' Jim.
Jim rushes across the precinct with his three-ring binder... and is rather perturbed to find that Danny O'Keefe (perhaps an office manager?) had failed to order him a new three-hole punch! And so, the Spectre exacts his revenge by punching three-holes of his own into Danny's torso!
Much of the rest of this story follows this same routine... minor office faux pas are responded to with strict and severe Spectre-y vengeance. It's cute, well-drawn... but, there ain't much more to it.
Like, seriously... this goes on for a few pages.
Finally, Terry Noonan has the revelation that: Jim Corrigan must be the Spectre! That is, until Jim himself screws with the kid's head to make him change his mind.
We wrap up with all the officers clocking out for the day, and heading across the street for drinks at the Ringside Pub. Corrigan digs through his drawers, finds his "Rookie of the Year" plaque, and laments the fact that it sucks being dead.
-- Well, I really liked the art in this! And, ya know... the story wasn't really that bad either... it just ran for probably twice as many pages as the gag actually needed to make its point. Then again, I'm not exactly sure what "point" this one was trying to make. Feels more like a series of "funny, ha-ha's"... and a wraparound at the end to let us know that ol' Corrigan doesn't like being dead. So... well, uh... what else is there to say? The art was nice! Got a very Darwyn Cooke-y vibe from Craig Thompson's work here. It's been awhile since I read Blankets (which I remember enjoying quite a bit), and totally didn't realize this was the same fella until I popped him into Google a minute ago. I'd probably say that this entire story is worth it to check out how Thompson plays with taking the Spectre's vengeance to its "literal" extreme. Next Bizarro Break: Hal Jordan... back on Oprah?!
BIZARRO BREAK #1 (Bizarro World) "Bizarro World" Writer - C.J. Duffy Art - Scott Morse Letters - Rob Leigh Colors & Seps - Dave Stewart Edits - Joey Cavalieri Next Stop... Bizarro World?! Welcome, friends, to our first BIZARRO BREAK... where we're going to break up the monotony of our longer-form features, and take a breath of refreshingly bizarre air. Now, being a "single-issue" dude who runs a "single issue" blog, it definitely isn't my usual format to pull stories from a trade collection... but, we're all about trying new things here at the Infinite Earths. This here Bizarro World Hardcover was procured at a Half-Price Books Warehouse Sale. It was the final hours of the sale, when over the P.A., it was announced that, rather than charging per-book, from this point on, you could cram as many books into your cart as possible, and pay a flat $40 for the lot of 'em. Well, my wife already had most of a cart full with books for her classroom... and so, I more or less dropped this one into the cart for free. This is a pretty long collection of stories... we've got thirty-five in total. That said, we might go on "Bizarro Binges" from time to time... and cover a few in a row. I think it'll be a lot of fun though... we're going to get the opportunity to discuss some writers and artists we probably wouldn't get around to otherwise. Lots of underground and alternative creators took part in this. As for Bizarro himself? Ehh, I feel like he's kind of a meme of a character... but, thankfully, despite the title (and cover), there's a lot more to this collection than just him! If this is as fun as I think it might be... maybe we'll cover that other Bizarro Comics collection down the line... ya know, the one with the Matt Groening cover... --
Our first story opens on the last day of school... siblings, Emma and Connor have just gotten home, and can't wait to do all of the Summer things that kids do... ya know, video games, TV, and of course... comics! They lament the fact that comics are predictable, but they love 'em all the same. Emma lists her favorite as Aquaman... because he, wait for it... oh, wow... they didn't go the lazy "talks to fish" route?! This really must be a Bizarro story! She actually digs him the most because he "cares for the fish".
This celebration of school-emancipation is interrupted by their parents calling from the garage. The car's all packed... and, rather than staying at home rotting their brains, the family is headed off on a vacation to... Bizarro World! Hey, that's the name of this book! And, ya know, that cubic world where Bizarro lives. On the overlong car-ride, the folks start talking in Bizarro-speak... which doesn't quite sit well with Emma and Connor. Frankly, I've always found Bizarro-speak quite annoying myself, so I can relate.
After awhile, they finally arrive at the park. The man at the parking lot booth pays them with a giant penny to park there. The parking structure is actually a Bat-Cave, where we can see some fun little Easter Eggs.
The parents are gung-ho to have some fun at the park... but, the kids... they're still not quite feelin' it, ya know? They know something strange is afoot... but, can't quite put their fingers on it. We get a great scene of Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth ride... where, kids are basically just tied up and forced to tell the truth. I tell ya what, the references here are a lot of fun.
The kids get hungry... and we are treated to some Darkseid Tacos. I only mention this because I wanted to include this panel.
The family loads into a ride on the "Origin Trail"... kind of like that other trail, only with less dysentery or peperony and chease. Also, this is Bizarro World... so, the origins are told in reverse! So, Bruce Wayne starts off as Batman... and, after his parents are unkilled... turns into a happy-go-lucky young boy!
Also, the Flash coughs up lightning and becomes slow... Hal Jordan gives his ring to a dead alien... and the Martian Manhunter gets to return to Mars! I guess one outta three ain't bad.
Next stop, the "Why I Hate Krypton" ride. Probably a reference to Kyle Baker's Why I Hate Saturn... anyhoo, here, Superman is kind of a dismissive and sarcastic creep.
Then... a sort of "It's a Small World After All" trek through various bits and bobs of twisted DC history. Again, these panels are too much fun. I love Plastic Man telling a kid that "plastic doesn't stretch"... because, ya know, it doesn't!
The kids decide to break away from their folks and do some sightseeing on their own... which brings them to Aquaman's Ocean Kingdom. If you recall, Aquaman is Emma's favorite... because he cares for the fish. Well, here... Emma gets a front row seat to Aquaman chowing down on those same fish.
This is her "Aw, hell nah" moment... and so, she and Connor stomp out in search of whoever's behind running this sham-show. After making their way to the main office, they are dropped down a hatch to speak to the man in charge... Bizarro himself.
In a fun bit, Bizarro doesn't speak in "idiotic opposite talk", but instead, is rather eloquent. He attempts to explain exactly what's going on. He claims that their parents must've been fans of Bizarro's legendary 1950's television show... which, I... uh. Okay.
Connor and Emma complain that they don't wanna deal with opposites and wackiness... they just want their regular ol' superheroes. Bizarro responds that, he too once felt that way... until, this one day... he found one particular panel... in one particular coverless comic book... that changed his life forever. He shows that very same panel to the children... and the next we see them, they're just as Bizarro'ed as their parents!
That panel? The revelation that Superman wore his underpants on the outside. Wonk wonk wonnnnnnnk?
-- The very definition of "tackled on the one-yard line". Man, I was loving the heck out of this... and we close on an "underwear on the outside" gag? C'mon... this is the sort of "witty observation" I'd expect from an outsider... or, in John Byrne parlance, a "civilian"... but here? In an actual comic? Yeesh. Pretty weak "wonk wonk" ending. But, let's look at the journey rather than the destination... because, ignoring the ending, the overall "trip" was a ton of fun. So many awesome nods and references to DC's history... so many weird cameos... I mean OMAC doing a ventriloquist act? Darkseid Tacos? A Green Lantern "Core"? I'm not much of a fan of "lol, random" comedy, but I gotta admit, so much of thismade me smile! This whole piece was really just "candy"... the art was perfectly suited for this sort of story... and 99% of the Easter Eggs and allusions were wonderful. Also, big points for sidestepping the low-hanging fruit of "Aquaman talks to fish"! This was probably the perfect way to kick off this collection... setting the tone for the craziness to follow. Had an absolute blast with this... and, call me a pedantic jerk for harping, but... if only it didn't have the "underpants" ending, it would've been perfect! Tomorrow: Our Second "Ongoing Feature" Revealed! After That: The Dynamic-Bizarro Duo!
