Dazzler #3 (1981)

 

Dazzler #3 (May, 1981)
"The Jewels of Doom!"
Writer - Tom DeFalco
Pencils - John Romita, Jr. & Alan Kupperberg
Inks - Danny Bulandi & Armando Gil
Colors - Bob Sharen
Letters - Joe Rosen
Edits - Fingeroth, Jones, Shooter
Cover Price: 50¢

Ya know... I write a lot.

There's some hackneyed saying about writers (though I wouldn't describe myself as one), that they have so many "bad" pages in 'em before they finally "get it"... and everything just comes together. With me... I feel like it's kind of the opposite.

It seems like the more I write, the less gooder I am become with my grasp of the English language. It might sound like I'm kidding... but, I assure you, I'm not. I literally sit here trying to think up the right words to use... many, many, many times every article. I don't remember it ever being like that before. Maybe I'm losing my mind? Maybe I am become more dumber than was? I dunno... you be the judge... or something!

For now though, let's Dazzle!

--

Today's story opens with... Dazzler dropping a bunch of exposition. At least this time out, she's just thinking all of it to herself, rather than saying it all out loud. Anyway, she's getting bombarded by sound... which she is doing her darnedist to transmute into light. Turns out this is only a test... she's dropped by the Baxter Building, and asked Reed to give her mutant powers a goo. Johnny is a bit annoyed, having assumed she was there only to see him. Worth noting, poor Ben Grimm is doing that thing he always seems to be doing at home... carrying something huge and heavy from ova here-- to ova there. Wotta revoltin' development.

Since this is a Marvel comic, and we've got some guest-stars... it's not long before an outta nowhere action scene breaks out. Dazzled by the Dazzler, poor Ben drops the heavy whateverthehell on his favorite bunion -- Johnny has a laugh before going to prove that Daz can't do anything to best him -- so, she skates over to a wall and procures a fire extinguisher to shut him up. Sue then appears right in Ali's path, which sends her skidding off into Reed's oversized rubbery mitt.

With all the tea kettles now settled, it's time for us to find out what today's issue is actually going to be about. Johnny spies something very troubling in the newspaper... turns out, Doctor Doom's jewels (ew!) are going to be displayed at the United Nations. From here, we get a quick 'n dirty retelling of the events of Fantastic Four #200 (November, 1978), wherein Prince Zorba Fortunov of the Latverian Freedom Fighters wrested the crown of Latveria from Doom. Doom lost his throne... and his marbles. And now, the FF are worried that this exhibit might draw him out of hiding.

After a somewhat flirtatious farewell between Dazz and "Torchy", we shift scenes over to the United Nations, where the Doom Jewel Expo is about to begin. Latveria's mustachioed ambassador to the U.N., Dr. Arturo Frazen is present. He finds this entire to-do to be a sham. He also considers Zorba to be a weak and ineffectual leader. He mentions something about the crown jewels winding up on the international market... though, I'm not totally clear here on whether that's his goal... or his worry.

Over to Boss Hogg's, where Dazz is given her next gig. Much to her annoyance, it's a charity show for UNICEF. Now, she has no beef with the fine folks at UNICEF, it's just that -- she needs that chedda... she's about to be booted from her pad. She's also introduced to her new meathead manager, Lance Steele... who looks just as porny-creepy as his name might suggest. Lancelot tells Ali that they'll get on swimmingly... so long as she obeys his orders. I guess when you rely on a dozen of your super-powered pals to bully a man into offering you a talent contract... maybe don't expect to be given the cherriest of gigs?

With nowhere left to turn to, Alison decides to head home to visit (and attempt to make peace) with her father, Judge Carter Blaire. She is warmly met by Nana... and, initially, embraced by dad. That is, until she reveals that she's not exactly here to beg for his forgiveness. She hasn't changed her mind about going to law school, following in his footsteps, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm not sure exactly what she's here for... probably help with the rent, and some cold cuts to keep her half-eaten box of baking soda company in the fridge. He gives her the boot... again.

Well, at this point we're eleven pages in... howsabout we get that dude from the cover into the story? We head over to a castle in the Bavarian Alps, where Doctor Doom is met by some red-cloaked messenger... who reveals that Zorba sent the crown jewels over to the United Nations... Doom's not worried nor impressed. That is, until he finds out that the Merlin Stone was among them! Doom decides he must act.

We rejoin Arturo Frazen, who's still gazing at the jewels at the U.N. As luck would have it, security is a bit lax right now, because... get this... that UNICEF concert is taking place right there! As the massive crowd begins to form, Frazen hires some goons in "punk rock attire" to help him swipe the loot. As the concert's getting set up, Lancelot Steele is giving the orders backstage. Looks like nobody really cares for him... nor takes him seriously -- and well, they probably shouldn't.

After busting in on Dazz's dressing room, where she hasn't even had the chance to (literally) let her hair down yet, Lance spots the "Punk Rockers"... and decides he's gonna serve up some knuckle sandwiches... no questions asked. Only, by the time he approaches them, he comes to find he's far more outnumbered than he originally thought. He gets his ass kicked. Lucky for him, Dazzler overhears this beating... and she just so happens to have a new analog iPod with which to pump out some transmuted funk.

She skates over to the meathead's rescue, PWAPing the baddies but good. Meanwhile, on stage -- the show has already begun. We see Boss Hogg off to the side wondering where his "personable and proficient protégé" may have gotten off to. If you were to guess that Ali was in the middle of like a 75 page fight scene, you'd be getting warm.

Okay, okay... it's more like a four page fight scene... but still, a tad bit too long in this idiot's opinion. Anyway, once the "punk rockers" have been soundly thwarted... Ali gets zapped in her shoulder. This, as you might imagine, manages to get her attention. She turns around to see that she's in the shadow of... DOOM. And, if the art here is to be believed, she's the only thing standing between him and the nearest toilet... and, lemme tell ya -- it's an emergency!

Meanwhile, lotsa pieces are falling into... and out of place. Lance pulls himself to his feet... but is in too much pain to really do anything. On stage, the act before Dazzler is about to wrap up their set... and, thanks to Janine from Ghostbustas, Boss Hogg knows that neither Dazz nor her Lunkhead manager are around. Right then and there, Osgood announces that Dazzler is off the show... and will, ya know, never work in this town again. Worth noting, (I think that's supposed to be) Johnny Storm is in the crowd waiting to see his new obsession in action.

Back to Dazz... as Doom, gentleman that he is, helps her to her feet so he can dollop some exposition into her dome. The Merlin Stone, ya see... is a gem (well, a collection of gems actually) imbued with some magical hoo-doo by the wizard Merlin himself to make its owner invincible. Doom had already sent the Fantastic Four back in time to track the jewels down... way back during his first appearance in Fantastic Four #5 (July, 1962). Only, rather than return to the present with them -- the FF brought back only worthless chain.

In the interim, Doom was able to procure one of these gems... and also locate the second (in a nearby dimension). He assumes that with two of the Merlin Stones, it'll be a cinch to track down the rest. As he goes to reclaim the one from the exhibit... Dazzler attempts to stop him! And so, well... you know... it's time for a(nother) fight scene! Dazzler does manage to get a few good shots in... serving a whopper of a dropkick to go along with her light show. Ultimately, Doom wins... because, well, he's Doom.

We wrap up with Doc loading Dazz onto his... frankly adorable little rocket sled/scooter... and flying into the night. He believes he might have use for her yet... and, perhaps we'll find out exactly what that is... next time!

--

From the crem de la crem of Marvel's heroic pantheon to... one of, if not the premiere villain in the universe. Dazzler just can't help but to fail upwards, eh?

Still having a really good time with this. I feel like, maybe we're overdoing it a tad with the action... perhaps even overcompensating with it. I wonder if there was a conscious decision to try and keep this book from being "too girly" or "too soapy"? I dunno about y'all, but... I mean, this is a character outta the X-Men... and, it didn't get much soapier than that... I think I'd be okay with Dazzler following in that tone. We are getting bits and pieces of "soap", in Ali's relationship with her father... and her day-to-day financial woes, so that's cool. It's also still very early in the run, so -- maybe the Bullpen is trying to establish the book in such a way where it's not dismissed as "slice of life" fluff?

I dunno... I'm probably thinking too hard.

The story we did get here... to use a phrase I tend to overuse... was a bit Dagwood Sandwichy. Lotta moving parts... many of which felt kinda unnecessary. Arturo Frazen's scenes were a bit confusing... his motivation wasn't made clear (at least not to a dullard like me) until the end... and, I mean... the entire robbery attempt wound up being a non-issue page-waster anyway. I dunno, maybe next issue will see some more hot 'n steamy Arturo and the Punk Rockers action?

The art was... uneven. Not bad... just not as good as it was in the first two issues. Romita's pencils were not helped in any way by Bulandi's inks... and the shift from John Jr. to Alan Kupperberg, while not jarring, was somewhat noticeable. It Marvel's banking on Dazzler being their premiere Direct Market exclusive (for now), it'd probably be best to keep the artwork consistent, at least for the first half-dozen to a year's worth of issues. At least in my opinion. Having multiple pencilers and inkers involved in a regular-sized issue reeks of running up against Dreaded Deadline Doom... and, makes the series feel like it's an afterthought.

Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh, as... like I said, the art isn't bad. But, for it only being the third issue... consistency needs to be key. Again, at least in my opinion.

Overall - another fun outing with Disco Dazz. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes... and I hope you are as well!

--

Letters Page (wow, that was quick!):

--

Interesting Ads:

Dazzler #2 (1981)

 

Dazzler #2 (April, 1981)
"Where Demons Fear to Dwell!"
Writer - Tom DeFalco
Pencils - John Romita, Jr.
Inks - Alfredo Alcala
Colors - Ken Klaczak
Letters - Jim Novak
Edits - Jones, Shooter

Happy Sunday - Happy Mother's Day. Apologies for the lateness of this piece (assuming anybody out there noticed), I'm running a bit behind today. I seem to have been a little too overzealous with yesterday's "Anatomy of a Slap" piece... wasn't planning on publishing it until today... but, accidentally his the "Publish Immediately" button, and figured I'd just roll with it. Generally, I like to have tomorrow's piece ready to publish today... that's been the way I've operated for... well, as long as I've been doing this.

Welp, with today's piece... I'm putting it together right as it's going to go "live". Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in some "double duty" in order to get back ahead of the game.

Add to that, Wordpress is having one'a those mornings... as in, it hasn't yet decided if it's going to allow me to upload my images. So, I'm looking forward to a couple hours worth of "negotiations" with my laptop... which hopefully won't end with me chucking it thru the wall. I guess if you're reading this... my computer still lives!

Anyway -- it's Dazzler time! With the novelty of the first ish out of the way -- it's time to strap in for the continuing story. But first, I wanna thank the folks who reached out to let me know they enjoyed the first Dazz-article! Really means a lot. I hope you'll pop back in with me for the rest of the run!

--

As we open, Dazz's big break is about to... well, break! She's sat before her dressing room mirror, carefully applying her "facial makeup". I dunno why, but they refer to it as "facial makeup" several times throughout the issue. I'd think just plain "makeup" sounds a bit less stilted... maybe "facepaint", if they absolutely need to specify where the stuff goes? Anyway, as she's paintin' away, she's recapping the events of the previous issue... out loud. I know celebrities can be eccentric, but, Ali talks to herself (out loud) quite a bit during this ish. Well, we'll allow it for this scene, as poor girl's doing anything she can to fight off a bit of stage fright. It stands to reason that she'd be a bit nervous... this is her big debut (it's like a dream come true)... okay, I don't have the pipes of a Michael McDonald, so I'll just move on to some more reasons she's got a case of the nerves. Ya see, she's going to be singing before a star-studded crowd! Such as... Benjamin Grimm and Johnny Storm!

And the X-Men (including Angel, who if upcoming covers are any indication, Ali's gonna be making time with before long)! They're... where else? The Danger Room, where we get a bit more Kitty-continuity here, as she's still quite upset that the Prof won't let her take part in the training seshes.

Also, the Avengers! Wasp calls Cap out for wearing his shield under his suit jacket. C'mon, Jan, give a fella a break. I mean, Steve going to a disco ought to be enough...

From here, we jump to the Numero Uno Disco and see just how packed the place is. Tony Stark's here... also, Beast -- in his full-on Eddie Munster look. Man, earlyish blue-Beast was kinda ugly, eh? Also, Romita, Jr. appears to have been a hyooge fan of widows peaks.

So, Dazz takes the stage, and starts belting out some disco funk, bathing the entire place in Ali-Orbs (still looking for a better name for those things, if anybody wants to help a fella out). Behind the scenes, the Enchantress... who apparently now lives in the Disco, goes about making her move. In the crowd, we see a very seventies-ed out Peter Parker trying to make time with, in his words, a perfect "10"... hmm... perhaps a nod to the potential cinematic-Dazzler... Bo Derek? Even though the gal Pete was lingering around looked more like Mary Jane.

So, Dazzler's singin' while Enchantress is doin' some spooky stuff with her fingers, yes? The hoo-doo that she do, turns out to rapidly age Ali... to the point where she very nearly dies!

Ali lets out one last blast... firing at the disco ball spinnin' from the ceiling. This is, somehow enough, to undo the Enchantress's spell. Imagine that, being undone by a disco ball? I'm actually surprised this didn't become a running joke anytime the Enchantress shows up. Then again, that would assume that anybody writing comics a) knew this series existed, and b) read it past issue one.

So, y'all got enough story for now? Cuz... we're kinda done tellin' one. From here, all the heroes in the crowd rush to the bathroom to change into their "workin' clothes", while Enchantress calls forth some generic trollish monsters from... I dunno, maybe Asgard's "other side of the tracks"? She refers to them as her "Hateful Harbingers of Horror and Holocaust", which sounds like a killer band name. Anyway, the battle rages for the next several hundred pages. In a cute bit, Kitty tries to get in on the action... but, decides to powder out at the last minute, leading the baddie to smash his dome on a wall. Wolverine approves... before "busting loose".

As the melee roars on, Dazzler finds her way backstage to confront the Enchantress... who, she calls "mama", like she's A.C. Slater or something. There's a lotta "mama" in this ish, by the by. Maybe Tom D. knew I'd be discussing it here 31 Mother's Days later? Anyway, Enchantress decides to summon yet another "grisly messenger" for Alison specifically.

Which our gal is able to fight off with one massive dollop of disco funk.

Enchantress is all "eff this noise", and bugs off back to Asgard. As the dust settles, the heroes assemble. Dazzler is worried she just blew her big debut... though, Spidey says she ought to be proud of how she handled things. Ya know, I wonder if there were ever any plans on hooking Pete and Ali up? Stranger things have happened...

Just as Alison is at her lowest point... an old man crawls out from under a toppled table tent. He's Joseph R. Ercoli, a (um) music publisher. He wants to hook her up with some Boss Hogg lookin' agent, named Harry Osborngood. He hands over his card... which is the size of a small piece of paper.

That Monday morning, an Avengers quinjet shows up to take Dazz to the agent. Turns out, even with the card, she can't get a meeting. Janine from Ghostbustas tells her it's a no-go. And so, Eddie Munster shows up to provide a distraction. Janine is flaggerghasted, and assumes this blue fellow is Ali's "exotic pet". Is that offensive? I feel like it might be. I dunno. Anyway, while Janine tries to figure it out, Alison's able to slip in to chat up Boss Hogg.

... and, well... he throws her out. He doesn't wanna hear or see anything outta her. Unfortunately for him... outside his 39th floor office window, nearly a dozen of Marvel's Finest are there to apply some pressure. Even an oddly smirking Wolverine... who, I thought for a split second was Batroc ze Leepair. I gotta say, I love how Thing just calls this dude a creep. Benji's not one to split hairs. The heroes... uh, bash their way through the safety glass to further put the screws to our man. I wonder if Ali's contract (should she be offered one) will be binding... like, will it be like a coerced confession or something, that'd get tossed outta court? I dunno...

All that matters for now is, Ali's getting her audition. Wolverine (oddly) plays master of ceremonies, bowing and introducing the disco queen... while Iron Man's armor pumps out the jams. I almost wish that word balloon was going to Logan... I'd like to picture him beatboxing and rhythmically drumming on his belly or something. Maybe Boss Hogg has an empty jug he can blow into?

Turns out, Dazzler's able to rock Osgood's socks off... and she's immediately signed to a contract. None of the heroes seem to feel all that bad about, ya know, forcing him to do this -- and so, it's high-fives all around. But, with the good news, comes some bad -- our next issue blurb promises that Dazz' about to cross paths with... Doctor Doom!

--

Ya know, the "first issue" shine might be behind us... but, we're still so early into this little reading/writing project that I'm still having quite a good time with it. Yeah, that might not seem like high-praise just two issues in... but, trust me when I say that it is. Not only is this fun to read... but, reliving it in the writing is also kind of a blast. It's not too serious... but, it's not completely off the wall silly either. Well, I suppose our disco ball mileage may vary, eh?

This was a great issue to establish Dazzler's connections to the wider Marvel Universe. As it stands, this issue was only her sixth appearance. She hasn't had all that much time to hob-nob. Now, it's like she doesn't even have to! Everybody knows her... and, I think that's probably for the best. Saves us a lot of awkward introductions and that forced bit'a fighting before friendship. I mean, this is Marvel, after all...

Ali's show was a pretty organic way of having all the heroes together in one place. Rather than having a lightshow emanating from the Numero Uno, which just happens to grab the attention of heroes who... just happen to have been passing by - we get a nice, natural build. The Enchantress, has never been all that interesting a character to me... though, in fairness, I do seem to have that Asgardian allergy. Her motivations here made sense though. Here, we have a woman who's able to... well, for lack of a better term... "dazzle" those around her with her beauty, and she's been upstaged by our gal Ali. Naturally, she's going to wanna get a bit of revenge. Summoning the Asgardian (?) hordes was a decent enough way to serve up a meaty action-heavy middle portion of the ish. It gave the heroes the opportunity to show their stuff, while lifting Dazzler up to their level.

The bits about Ali's career... were weird, yes? I mean, intimidation is one thing... but, having a dozen heavy-hitting heroes force a man to give you an audition? Sure, it's played for comedy... but, it's really not a good look, izzit? Like, what would'a happened if Osgood still refused to let Dazzler sing? Would Wolverine had gutted him? Maybe Iron Man would'a vaporized him? Perhaps strangest of all -- Captain America was hear leading the charge. You'd figure Cap wouldn't abuse his authority in such a way... and for such a silly reason.

Oh well... I suppose it told the story it needed to tell. Like I said a few paragraphs ago -- this book isn't as deadly serious as some... so, I guess if we're going for fun-n-dumb, we gotta accept that this story might go in a direction or two that don't entirely "square up" with our expectations. That, or... ya know, I'm thinking wayyy too hard about something that doesn't really matter. Well, that is kinda my gimmick.

Overall, I had a really good time with this one. Story was good, dialogue was... interesting, and the art was mostly a treat! John, Jr.'s widows peak-abuse aside, this was a really good looking book!

--

(Not the) Letters Page:

Here's an interesting inclusion. As we discussed (at great length) last time, Dazzler #1 was Marvel's first Direct Market exclusive publication. Stands to reason that some folks may not have been able to procure their copy! Don't worry none, though -- as we know, there are like a half-million of 'em floating around out there! Even nowadays, Dazzler #1 is among the easiest issues of this volume to happen across! Try finding the Michael Jackson Thriller homage issue in the cheap-o bins... that one'll elude ya, lemme tell ya!

--

Interesting Ads:

Dazzler #1 (1981)

 

Dazzler #1 (March, 1981)
"So Bright This Star"
Writer - Tom DeFalco
Pencils - John Romita, Jr.
Inks - Alfredo Alcala
Colors - Glynis Wein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Edits - Jones, Shooter
Cover Price: 50¢

So, whatzis then? Dazzler? We really doin' Dazzler now? Well, no promises or anything... but, I'm game to give it a shot.

Thing about Dazzler is... it's a series I've spent the better part of 25 years collecting. It's not especially difficult to find nor are any of the issues particularly expensive... but, this is one that I decided I would only ever buy in the cheap-o bins. That's not me editorializing on the "value" or "quality" of the series... it's just to say, I never really prioritized it enough to hit the "real" bins it. Another thing about Dazzler is... I've never read it! It's been one'a those "on-purpose" blind spots in my X-Fandom. Just never bothered to sit down with it. Again, that's no indictment on whether or not it's any good... it just never really called out to me.

Figure now that I've finally completed my set, maybe it's about time to rectify that. Just as with our recently-concluded X-Men Vignettes series, this project (if it actually becomes one -- again, no promises) will serve to facilitate (or kinda "force") me actually setting aside the time to read some long-neglected X-Stuffs.

But first... howsabout a Fake-Ass Comics History lesson?

I probably don't need to go into the Casablanca Records stuff, do I? I figure if you're reading a site as niche as this, you probably already know the broader strokes of the deal Marvel had with them, yes? Instead, I wanna talk a little bit about the Direct Marketiness of this series. It was Marvel's very first foray into Direct Market exclusivity. If you look at the (really cool looking) cover, you might notice that it's missing that li'l Spidey Head in the white box.

The Comic Times #3 (November, 1980)

Jim Shooter, on his blog... which was a really awesome repository of information, for the few months he maintained it, said of Dazzler #1:

"At the end of 1980, Marvel published the first regular comic book that was sold exclusively through the Direct Market, Dazzler #1. It sold 428,000 copies. After that success, many more Direct-only offerings were published by Marvel and others. As the Direct Market boomed, increasingly it became the focus at Marvel. It was a low-margin business, yes, but it was a firm sale, and it was pretty easy to target Direct Market consumers. We knew what they wanted. It was like shooting fish in a barrel."

So, what does that all mean? Well, if you listened to the Direct Market episodes of Weird Comics History, you'd know. In case you didn't, lemme give ya the quick 'n dirty: newsstand distribution had a "return clause" attached, where unsold copies could be sent back to a publisher (usually just the front cover of the unsold copy, for ease of proof). Simplified, the publisher would then credit back. The Direct Market was born out of an idea of Phil Seuling's... older fans and fake-ass comics historians such as myself, will likely be familiar with Phil, as he was a big name in the earliest organized comic books conventions. The gimmick was, Marvel/DC/whoever, would sell HIM their product at a reduced price -- without the risk of returns. So, Phil paid upfront for product... and he'd be stuck with it. Which, back in the long ago, when the back-issue market was starting to become a big bit'a business, wasn't a bad thing at all. Phil didn't operate a newsstand, so he had no worries about shelf-space... it made a lot of sense for him to pursue his business this way.

So much sense, that, here we are exactly 50 years later... and it's been the market standard for most of the interim! Since I've already linked to the collected WCH episode, I won't go all that much deeper on the Direct Market overall... it's all there if you wanna hear it! Reggie and I spent the better part of two years researching that bugger... and, it turned out to be the final episodes of that program we were able to complete.

As you can see from the skinny image above (from The Comic Times #3), preorders for Dazzler #1... several months before launch exceeded a quarter of a million copies! Could you imagine? In a time before the Internet (as we know it)... a female-led Direct Market only book... pre-sold over 250,000 copies! Seems almost too good to be true -- but, it's true! Two months later, The Comic Times printed an update... which falls more in line with Jim Shooter's 400k+ figure:

The Comic Times #4 (January, 1981)

Nearly a half-million copies of Dazzler #1 were printed to meet order demands! Could that be due to fears of scarcity? Did folks just not wanna miss out. Did people want "in" on the Direct Sales experiment? Or, maybe there was some curiosity because of the rumored... oh, c'mon... Casablanca Films: Dazzler movie. Well, same as it ever was, eh? Maybe my recollections of comics past are more rose-colored than I thought.

Amazing Heroes #1 (June, 1981)

Back to the Shooter quote. He mentions that Dazzler was the first... but her success on the Direct Market stands led to Marvel (and other publishers) seeing the Direct Market as a viable (ridiculously so) avenue to push their wares. In fact, in my research for this article, I dug through a stack of ancient texts... which is to say, early 80's fan and industry mags... and, around this time, hardly an issue would pass without the announcement of a new Direct Market title... or, Newsstand title(s) that've been shifted over to Direct! Let's just look at the next couple issues of Amazing Heroes:

Amazing Heroes #2 (August, 1981)

continued

Micronauts announced as going Direct in the the August, 1981 issue of Amazing Heroes... then, in the Fall:

Amazing Heroes #3 (October, 1981)

... the 'Nauts are joined by Ka-Zar and Moon Knight! I could go on listing examples... all day, if I'm being honest... but, I think ya get the point. The industry was dipping its whole foot 'n ankle into the Direct Market... and, they found the waters to be quite pleasant... and profitable.

Across the street at DC, they too gave it a goo... just a few months after Dazzler #1, their Madame Xanadu one-shot would be their first foray:

Amazing Heroes #1 (June, 1981)

Was this a successful endeavor for the industry? Well, I suppose we all have our opinions and definitions on what "success" means... especially with nearing a half-century's worth of lessons learned and hindsight. I'm not entirely sure where I stand personally... as, I came into the hobby post-Direct Market, post-80's Indie Boom, post... lotsa stuff! But, at the end of the day, our main takeaway for this piece is that... the book we're about to discuss blazed the trail that changed the industry forever. She was the "canary in a mineshaft"... testing to see how "safe" the air was in this new marketplace. Turns out, the air was so nice that she could not only breathe... but also belt out plenty of disco funk.

But... is it any good? Let's find out...

--

Our story... and series, opens with Dazzler on the run from a gang of street toughs. Why are they chasing her? Who knows! They've been "dogging her" ever since she left the disco, though. Ali turns into an... err, alley... and finds she's hit a dead end. And so, she sits on a garbage can waiting for her pursuers to catch up. Lucky for her, she remembered to bring her analogue iPod, with which can can do her hoo-doo of turning sound (Pink Floyd, in this instance) into light! She also straps her magnetic skates onto her boots... to make this scene that much more awkward. As luck would have it, her lightshow has attracted the attention of a friendly neighborhood so-and-so, who swings on in to get a closer look at what's going down. What he finds is... a bit of DAZZ SMASH... Ali is pummeling the blinded nogoodniks with garbage can lids.

The leader of the pack starts shooting wildly... missing everything with a pulse, but managing to hit the analogue iPod, thus ending the lightshow. Looks like it might be curtains for our gal... but, no -- this is when Spidey arrives to scare all the baddies off. They're not interested in tangling with a superhero... they were just in it to beat up who they thought was a poor, defenseless girl. But why? For sport? I dunno. The gang nearly manages to get away, but ultimately winds up stuck together in a web cocoon hanging from a lamp post. Pete checks to see if Dazz is okay... which prompts her to whinge a whole lot about how crappy her music career is going. Ya know, Ali... when people ask "how ya doin'?", they really just wanna hear "good". Spidey tells her to hang in there, and swings away into the night.

We follow Alison back to her overpriced and underheated apartment. It's made plainly clear that she's flat broke... can't even afford ketchup for a bowl of poor gal's tomato soup, even! So tonight she's having half a putrefying cantaloupe and a sleave of stale Ritz Crackers -- hey, those are name-brand crackers, how broke can she really be? Anyway, she's still in malaise mode. She misses her father, but they had a bit of a falling out when she decided not to follow in his footsteps in becoming a power attorney. So, she decides to make a phone call -- not to her father, mind you -- but, to the X-Men. Hey, this is Marvel's first direct market book... you really don't think all'a the heavy-hitters are gonna show up here?

The X-Men are, where else, the Danger Room. Since this is a Jim Shooter-edited book, it fits perfectly well into what was going on in the X-Books. That also goes for all the rest of the guests stars in this book. Marvel was a tight ship back then. Anyway, while Kitty monitors Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine -- the... uh, Danger Room phone rings! The Uncannies all rush to be the one to answer it, even Wolverine... which is weird. Ororo manages to get their first... and, upon hearing Ali's voice, immediately assumes she's going to take up their offer and join the team. Also, give up singing... which, it's weird that it couldn't just be one or the other. Must Alison give up music if she chooses to join the X-Men? She really couldn't do both? I dunno. In any event, Ali says that ain't the case... and she was simply calling to see what's up. It's a short phone call.

After hanging up, Ali stares out her window so we can hop into flashback land. She talks about her time as a little girl who loved music. Loved it so much, she actually had thought balloons which read: "I want to sing... to dance... to entertain!" C'mahhhhn. Daddy Blaire wasn't a fan of his daughter's dreams... and made sure she knew it. She'd often run crying to her Nana for support.

From here, we jump ahead to the Gardendale High School Spring Spectacular... where she's going to take part in a talent show. It's here where her mutant powers first manifested. She sang and lit up the school gym with... do we have a name for the disco funk "Dazzle Balls" that she manifests? Are they just Dazzle Balls? Blaire Balls? Ali-Orbs? There's gotta be a catchier name than that. We'll have to think on it. Anyway, it's during her set where... hey, we got more street toughs! A gang, calling themselves the, ahem "Blazing Lords" bust in through the double doors to... uh, cripple anyone who moves? Okay, but... why? Guess the early 80s were far simpler times... bad guys didn't really need to be all that goal oriented.

So, one'a these scumbags spots Ali on stage... and announces that she now belongs to him. Our Ms. Blaire ain't gonna just let herself be taken, however -- and so, she proceeds to pop off s'more disco funk -- blinding everybody in attendance! The police and emergency services arrive, and the happening is assumed to be some sort of "freak power overload". Dazz, the only person present without her eyes bandaged up, knows that the only "freak" here... is her.

During and after High School, Ali would play with several bands. She'd also enroll and graduate from a pre-law program. Upon her graduation, however, she informs her father that she will not be continuing on to law school. She's got dreams, ya see, and they don't include... whatever it is a lawyer does. Daddy Blaire stomps away like a scolded child. In the next few months, she'd become the skating sensation known to all as Dazzler. She's been in the game two years now... and feels like she's finally hit rock-bottom.

From here, we shift scenes to... Asgard? What!? That can't be right. Okay. Here, we see a couple of big warrior goofs stood atop the endless golden Asgardian stairwell. A man approaches after an eight day climb. He's here to meet with the Enchantress... and unfortunately for him, if he wants to see her -- he's going to have to fight his way in. And so, we fight... and he wins.

He continues his way toward the Enchantress's Chamber... so he might tell her that he is a slave to her loveliness. To thank him for the sweet words, she turns him into a tree. Welp, punishment fits the crime.

She then wanders over to the Fountain of Forever to take a peek at anything that might catch her eye Midgard-way. Something that might help her take over the entire universe, even! What she sees is... oh, c'mon... the glittering of a disco ball. She calls the disco a "glittering palace of raucous sound", which... again, c'mon. Though, in fairness, "sound" might be the kindest thing one can say about disco.

Next stop, Avengers Mansion for our next set of guest-appearances. We're a Fantastic Four sighting away from hitting BINGO, or something. Sadly, we won't be seeing them. Anyway, it's here where Beast is reading the newspaper... and sees something that really gets his attention... and so, goes to leap away... nearly crushing the poor Wasp in the process. She zaps him in the butt, because... why not, I guess?

The fracas manages to get the attention of Captain America and Iron Man, who are in the middle of moving that stuff over here... to that spot over there. Anyway, they check to see what all the hub-bub's about, and Beast apologizes for getting a bit too carried away. He then leaves, claiming that he's about to chat up a mutant he's never met before... but has always wanted to.

That mutant is, of course, Dazzler. Beast pops up outside her window, like a creep. He shows her the newspaper, which has an article about there being a sick singer... and a "disco boss" who is looking to hire a replacement. I mean, stop the presses, am I right? Oh, by the way... this is the same disco as the one seen in the Fountain of Forever... though, you probably didn't need me to tell you that.

Next we know, Alison - in full face-painted Dazzler glory - has arrived at the disco. Unfortunately for her... the Enchantress has beaten her to the punch. Since she's, ya know, the Enchantress, the "Disco Boss" is totally infatuated with her... so, it seems like a no-brainer.

He begrudgingly gives Ali the opportunity to sing... but tells her she's wasting her time. Turns out, our gal knocked his socks off! She gets the gig... much to the chagrin of the Enchantress. We wrap up with our baddie vowing revenge.

--

Okay, I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting from this... this issue managed to both meet my expectations, and surprise me. Lemme explain. Over the years, as I'd be entering the issues of this volume I'd find in the cheap-o bins into my Excel Spreadsheet... something that really jumped off the screen at me was the names of those involved in creating it. I wondered how these creators would "jive" with the young lady whose exploits they were telling. I'm sure Tom DeFalco was a much younger man than I'm assuming he was back in 1981... but, to me, he'll always be the stogie-chomping middle-aged man who appeared in those early 90's Bullpen Bulletins cartoons.

So, the idea that he'd be writing a young woman... I dunno, made me kinda furrow my brows a bit. It's kinda like reading current-year Blondie and Dagwood strips... or, I suppose most newspaper strips... you get the feeling like the people writing/drawing them are in a cave somewhere... cast in amber or something. Just outta touch, and way, way, wayyyy behind the times. There's a "charm" to them, sure... but, they aren't anything you'd recommend to anyone.

That's how I thought this was going to feel. Old, stodgy, stale, outta touch. But, surprisingly enough, I didn't get that feeling one bit! Again, DeFalco was only 30-31 when this issue hit... though, back in the long ago, 30 actually was 30. Nowadays, 50 is 30. I'm... getting off-topic. This book felt surprisingly "current", is what I'm trying to say... and, I understand that's not really high praise... but, I assure you, I am praising it! This was fun... and makes me wanna read more, which is about as high a compliment one can give to any piece of media.

This issue carried a lot of weight on its shoulders. Being the first Direct-Only book... with nearing a half million pre-sales... I suppose it should go without saying that there was a lot of pressure for it to deliver. Many of us experienced the Image boom, yes? Those suckers sold like they were going outta style (which... hrmm), but... looking back, so few of us actually talk about what those books were about. They were collectors' items masquerading as literature. This first push into the Direct Market was different. Back then, and this could be more rose-colored recollecting of a time I didn't actually live through, comics were only "valuable" to the folks who actually wanted them. I mean, as late as 1983, you could get a copy of Action Comics #1 for... $13,500! That's only $38,968.92 in 2022 bux!

Comics Collector #1 (Spring, 1983)

So, (and I admit I might be projecting) there was a lot riding on Dazzler being both a hit financially and creatively. It couldn't just be a one-n-done... and, while sales charts weren't really a "thing" just yet... maybe as we work our way through the series I'll be able to dig up some sort of evidence as to how well this book sold throughout the duration of its run. Though, as the final issue (#42) comes with the tagline: "Because YOU Demanded it -- the LAST issue of...", my hopes aren't too high.

As far as this issue is concerned though? It was fun. Star-studded (as it should'a been), an engaging (yet wildly silly) story, a telling of Ali's origin. It really is everything you might want out of a "first issue"... back when being a "first issue" actually meant something. Overall... I'd recommend this. It's a fun look at the Marvel of the day... and, armed with the knowledge of all the Direct Market drama and history surrounding it, it makes the read all that much more interesting (at least to me).

Now, as far as this reading/blogging "project" is concerned... I can't promise these'll be hitting every day. Hell, I can't even promise there'll be a "part 2"! I'm hoping for the best though. I hope you enjoyed this, as much as I enjoyed putting it together. It's not often I find myself sprawled out on the carpet surrounded by (relatively) ancient comics mags. Made me feel like a kid again!

Thanks for reading.

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