Gen¹³ (vol.2) #14 (1996)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #14 (November, 1996)
"Higher Learning"
Story - Brandon Choi, J. Scott Campbell & Jim Lee
Penciller - Luke Ross
Inker - Sandra Hope
Colors - Joe Chiodo & Martin Jimenez
Computer Colors - WildStorm FX
Assistant Editor - Gigi Barbes
Editor - Sarah Becker
Cover Price: #$2.50

Another pick informed by a twitter exchange with Andrew.  Been a minute since we looked at Gen¹³... so why not?

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Wake up in the morning, feeling shy and lonely, gee they gotta go to school.  It's a new day in La Jolla, California... and it just so happens to be the first day... of school?!  C'mon, teams of superhero kids don't go to school, do they?  Aren't they all just taught at whatever institute they're based out of?  Well, I guess that's not exactly the way it works for our Gen-Actives.  And so, while Caitlin's father Alex Fairchild does his... tai chi, or whatever... the kids all get ready for their big day.

Elsewhere, Burnout has done a rather poor job of shaving himself... having nicked himself several times over.  Unfortunately, Rainmaker saunters by in her unmentionables... which causes our man to, uh... flare up... thereby cauterizing his wounds?  Man, hope that doesn't scar.

Elsewhere again, Roxy does one of those in-room fashion shows, like we see on television.  I've never been a teen-aged girl, so for all I know, these might happen in real life?

We then shift to Lynch's underground bunker... office... monitoring room... place.  He's got a smattering of screens up, including a shot of Bobby's blistery face.  Gotta wonder where else this creep's got cameras posted?!  Also worth noting, that one newscaster from Spawn is on one of the screens.  As he hears of a string of student abductions he checks in with Anna, the robo-maid about breakfast.

Turns out these finicky teen-agers don't really appreciate all the hard work the bot puts into making breakfast... you know how deez kids be.  Grunge would rather have some cold pizza (brah!) and a Diet (?) Coke... Roxy's into fad dieting... Bobby's got his Powerbars... and Sarah's, well, Sarah's just annoying.  Caitlin, however, does eat up... and even goes so far as to thank Anna!

Then... finally, it's off to school.  No sooner do they step out of Anna's van than the cliche "As Seen on TV" school experience begins!

Roxy bumps into a dude and drops her books all over the place.  Then... an artsy gentleman stops to help her pick them up.  Wouldn'tcha know it... he's headed to the same Film Appreciation Class that she is!

Caitlin is targeted by a pair of... uh, is "mean girls" still a saying?  Whatever we're calling them, they are a pair of Sorority girls, who are looking for a new pledge.  Who betta than this six-foot redhead?  Perhaps worth noting, they're from the Kappa Lambda Tau sorority... and I hope those letters don't mean anything.  Considering another "creatively" named house we're going to meet, I can't help but imagine that they do.

Speaking of that other house... Grunge decides to pledge for Delta Iota Kappa.  Yeah, DIK, see what I mean?  He and another dude head inside... where they're threatened with... um, some bad touching?

We slide over to the Campus Kafeehaus (are there even classes today?) where Bobby is called over by a rocker chick.  She calls him "Mr. Weiland"... which, yeah... I guess I can totally see that.  They chat, flirt, the whole shebang.

We head over to the Quad where there's already a demonstration going on.  The kids have organized to put a stop to inhumane treatment of animals by the Biology department.  Of course, Rainmaker is right in the middle of all of this.  Grunge strolls by to lend some "moral support"... which is to say, he stops long enough to razz her a bit.

Finally... a class!  It's Neurology 301... which, I mean for Freshmen, that might be a bit advanced.  Gotta wonder what the pre-reqs were if Grunge is here.  Anyhoo... it's Grunge and Fairchild... and it's here that we learn that ol' Percival has himself some'a that photographic memory.

For something completely different, we pop over to the Isle of Gamorra... where some nogoodniks are trying to track down Alex Fairchild.  They beat up some Rodney Dangerfield looking fool... and leave.

Back at school, the day is winding to a close.  The gang all heads back to where they were set to be picked up in the Anna-Van, and they have a few new additions.  It's also here that the art starts to go a bit "ca-ca"... or is that "cock-eyed".

Some friendly razzing between partners changes into heated debate... which, I'd imagine makes their new pals wonder just what the hell they've gotten themselves into.  Before push turns to shove, however, the Anna-Van arrives to take the Gen-Actives home.

We rejoin the gang at the dinner table... where Anna has decided she's had enough of their crap.  She forces them to eat the meal she's prepared... and since she's a robot, I'm sure she actually could just jam it down their throats.  The "animals are people too" debate heats up again... with all sides actually making cogent points.  Lynch basically tells them that this level of discourse is what becoming educated is all about... they don't have to agree... but all opinions ought to be heard and respected.  Grunge punctuates the sentiment with a belch.

That night, the kids unwind in front of the television set... and it's not long before the razzing begins again.  At least it's friendly this time around.  Lynch tries to break it up by suggesting they all do their homework... to which, Grunge informs the gang that his is done, thanks in no small part to his photographic memory.  Wonk wonk.

We close out with... another student being abducted from the college.  Thought for a moment, it was the Anna-bot... but it turns out they just have the same hairstylist.  She wakes up to find herself strapped to a table... and being approached by some odd Kokopelli looking individual.

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Well... as silly and cliche as this was, I can't say I didn't have fun reading it.

This is like... every TV show "first day of school".  Being a dude whose had a bunch'a "first days of school" himself... I gotta just assume I was missing out, because I never had one like I saw on television.

This issue served as a pretty neat diversion from the usual fighty-fight superhero fare... and allowed us to explore these characters outside of the Gen-Active dynamic.  Of course, it's still kiiinda cliche... Roxy and the Artsy dude... Bobby and the slacker/rocker chick.  Grunge, despite being a goofball actually being a super-secret genius... all sorta contrived deals.  Fun, but contrived.

The art here is... uneven?  There are panels that look as though they could've been J. Scott Campbell... and then others that look like they're straight outta OEL manga.  Who knows, maybe there was a time-crunch toward the end... it wouldn't be out of character for a book of this vintage.  The cover is quite striking, and would likely jump off the shelf atcha... which kinda does leave the inside a bit more disappointing.

Overall... I think there's a lot of fun to have here.  It might be worth your time to check it out.

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Letters Page... kinda?

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Gen¹³ (vol.2) #-1 (1997)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #-1 (January, 1997)
Story - Jim Lee & Brandon Choi
Script - H.K. Proger
Penciller - Ryan Benjamin
Inkers - Frank Percy, Dev Madan, J.D., & Richard Johnson
Letterer - Chris Eliopoulos
Colorist - Joe Chiodo
Color Assists - Wendy Fouts, Paige Apfelbaum, & Monica Bennett
Editor - Sarah Becker
Editor in Chief - Mike Heisler
Cover Price: $1.95

While on the subject of oddly-numbered issues of Gen¹³... today we're going to look at a "minus one" issue.  Ya see, this was originally part of the Wizard Magazine mail-away Gen¹³ #½ in 1995... which they then reprinted as sort of a bridge between the Gen¹³ mini-series (1994) and ongoing series (1995)... even though all of the editorial captions inside still reference the mini-series.  If that stinks of a quick 'n easy cash grab to you... I'd say you were on to something.

Anyhoo... I almost certainly did more research on this issue for it's "placement" than for anything between the covers.  As far as what all of my usual haunts say... this issue is recognized as part of the ongoing volume (vol.2 - 1995)... so, that's what we're going to call it.

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We open with the Gen¹³ kids driving a van through Oregon in search of Milwaukee... which might sound ridiculous, until you realize that there is a Milwaukee, Oregon.  The first time I looked at this I was ready to start yanking at that thread.  Anyhoo, Fairchild is at the wheel, and is insistent that she hasn't gotten them lost.  Burnout's riding shotgun, and he's not so sure.  They pull over at a gas station to find out exactly where they are.  Turns out they're more than a little bit off-track.

While the boys are inside, Caitlin heads off to a mailbox to send in a check for the van they stole.  Roxy is confused... and surprised at Fairchild's fat-walletedness.  Turns out she just drew the funds from big-bad Ivana's bank account.  Then... an explosion!

Here we meet a woman in some armor that makes her look like a reject from the Mutant Liberation Front... garish purple, hoses everywhere... just a real sight to behold.  Still... better than generic dudes in suits!  Burnout "flames on" and Grunge... er, throws a soda can at her.  Sadly, Grunge's assault yields the better result.

The battle continues, and the girls get involved.  Fairchild hits her from behind... the woman strikes back, which causes... uh... Fairchild to... well, give birth to a bolt of lightning?  I mean, here, just look at it... 

Then Roxy jumps in, causing enough of a distraction for Grunge and Burnout to recover.  Grunge grabs the woman... and throws her into a nearby fuel truck.  That's probably not the best idea... even in the best of times.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Roxy then lights up a cigarette... and tosses it into the eruption of fuel!  This is the sort of hyper-violence that I'd have written when I was like 11.

Get this, though... the explosion... which, in reality should have destroyed the entire neighborhood... doesn't even make this mysterious armored woman flinch.  And so, Fairchild once again sneaks up behind her... and starts yanking at those hoses that all the villains had attached to their armor back in the 90's.  I thought they were just for show... but I guess not!

We wrap up with the Gen¹³ kids tying the baddie up and splitting town before the police arrive.  All the while, the mysterious armored woman warns them that someone called Langston is trying to destroy the time stream.  Our "blurb" suggests we check out the Gen¹³ miniseries... which, by the time this issue came out was already three years old.

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Woof.

This was kiiiiiiiinda brutal.

Let's get the confusing production out of the way first.  This is Gen¹³ #minus-one... which came out the same month as Gen¹³ (vol.2) #16.  It looks like it's supposed to be the bridge between the Gen¹³ mini-series (1994) and the Gen¹³ ongoing series (1995)... however, they couldn't even be bothered to update the editorial captions inside the book to reflect that.  I couldn't imagine trying to make sense of this had I picked it up off the racks in 1996/1997.  Like, where does this go?  When do I read it?  Why is it even a thing that exists... when we already got the story in Gen¹³ #½ (as if that's not confusing enough as it is!)?

Ay yai yai.

Onto the story... well, first the art.  The characters come across as off-model for most of this story.  Fella who pencilled it is competent, however, the storytelling here was pretty weak.  Let's just look at Roxy... her look completely changes from panel to panel.  She has a different face and hairstyle (length and color) on different panels on the same page!  I don't think that was one of her Gen-Active Powers!  I'd excuse it if this was some long epic story... but, it's 13 freaking pages.  13... get it?

In reading this issue immediately after the Claremont one from yesterday, it's pretty clear that what WildStorm needed was someone to help calibrate.  Here we have fuel-tankers exploding... leaving little damage, and since it isn't mentioned, we're going to guess no loss of life.  In the Claremont issue we have kids being chased by a shadowy organization of dudes in suits.  There's just gotta be a "happy medium" somewhere in there, right?  Ehh, what do I know?

Overall... I didn't enjoy this.  The uneven art was pretty distracting, and the story... what there was of it, was pretty nonsensical.  I suppose if you happen across this in the cheap-o bins, it might be worth a flip through... but I wouldn't suggest breaking your back or bank for it, unless you're a Gen¹³ completionist.

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Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13C (1996)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13C (Early November, 1996)

Story - Brandon Choi, J. Scott Campbell & Jim Lee
Pencils - J. Scott Campbell
Inks - Alex Garner with Richard Friend, Tom McWeeny & Edwin Rosell
Ink Assist - Peter Guzman
Colors - Joe Chiodo with Martin Jimenez
Letters & Computer Colors - WildStorm FX
Assistant Editor - Gigi Barbes
Editor - Sarah Becker
Cover Price: $1.30

Well, we kinda have to do this one now, don't we?  Hey, is that Shi in the corner box?

One thing before we continue into the usually faffin' about... Looking at the indicia here... I'd forgotten that Image era speculation brought about having to put FIRST PRINTING right there just after the comics' title.  Oof... sadly, these days the second and third printings are far more valuable for reasons of availability.

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We pick up shortly after we left off last issue with Grunge, Madman, and Tink traveling along the cleverly named Route 666.  They hear a bit of a ruckus, and the cameos already begin.  The trio come across Maxx and Jungle Princess (who I wanna say is Rainmaker)... just as they're about to be attacked by the Bad Girls Archie warned us about!  They are Lady Death Mortem, Angela from Spawn Guardians of the Galaxy... and I wanna say Zealot from WildC.A.T.S.  Grunge does not appear to be terribly bothered when Lady Death mounts him, even though she's planning on running him through with her blade!

Luckily before Lady Mortdeath can start slicing, Shi blocks her blade!  Well, how did Shi get here?  I'm glad you asked... it looks as though she was driven there by Katchoo and Francine from Strangers in Paradise!  The hell is going on here!?

Lady Death has some words with Shi, but decides that on this day perhaps discretion would be the better part of valor... and so, she and the Bad Girls flee.  We get a brief bit between Jungle Princess/Rainmaker and Tinker Fall, in which we get to see a bit of Roxy's homophobic nature and Rainmaker's lack of subtlety... I guess even in the land of S.A. she's uncomfortable around the ladies.  Anyhoo, Katchoo gives Grunge and Madman their Cadillac (which the Wizard lent to them) in order to head out to the frontier... where they run into Hellboy!  And, er, Monkeyman and O'Brien... who I don't know all that well.

Here we learn that the only solution to the problem of the Frenzy Beast lies with Grunge's Chromium Cover.  No sooner do we find this out than the Beast shows his ugly mug... in his right hand he holds... the Wizard... who, I really don't recognize... not sure if he's supposed to be someone important or not.  I'm guessing so, but I haven't the foggiest.  Anyhoo, the Frenzy Beast wants the Chromium Cover, and promises to fulfill Grunge's hearts desire should he hand it over.

Suddenly zombies start pulling themselves out of the ground (one of whom is wearing a Spider-Man t-shirt... I wonder if the artist got their fair cut of the merch sales!  The zombies quickly overtake the good guys, leaving it all in Grunge's hands.  Suddenly, when all hope appears to be gone, the Good Witch (who appears to be Fairchild in a Disney Princess get-up) arrives on the scene with some words of encouragement.

... and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins?  Are you friggin' kidding me???  This sounds like I'm making it up, I'm sure... but, for real... it's Tony freaking Robbins... and he's here to motivate Grunge.  Ay yai yai...

Starting to think this is MY fever dream!

Oooookay... tough talk from Tony inspires Grunge to get in there and TCB.  He recalls the trinket I neglected to mention that Jim Lee gave him last issue... it's a glowing "X" donchaknow... and from it springs... well, just look...

With BONE CLAWS!  Continuity lives in Grunge's fever dream!

Grunge approaches the Frenzy Beast... who now has his face!  He holds up the Chromium Cover and demands he free his friends... otherwise he'll destroy the comic book!  When the Beast calls his bluff, Grunge starts a'tearing!

Next thing we know, Grunge begins to wake up... in the real world.  He struggles to his feet, and suddenly the ginger nerd from a couple issues back runs in claiming that some creeper stole his Chromium Captain Pyro.  Grunge realizes that the creeper in question is the one he so willingly offered up his mortal soul to... and figures, ehhh... he doesn't really need the book after all.  He hands it over to the dweeb, which makes Roxy super proud.

We wrap up our issue... and this incredibly strange-slash-fun-slash-insane story with Grunge and Roxy finally locking lips.

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What... the...?  Tony Robbins?  Gleaming teeth and all?  I didn't just dream this, did I?  I'm afraid to even post this one... lest folks in white coats carrying nets come knocking at my door.  I mean, I've read some weird comics before... but, I'm not even sure how to describe what we've just seen.

At least it was all a dream in the comic, right?  This is a pretty neat telling of a fever-dream for the comics' (and late-night infomercial?) obsessed Grunge... and I had a helluva good time reading it.  Definitely not something I wanna see happen more often, but every once in awhile?  Yeah, this was great fun.  A celebration of who was who in the comics world during those halcyon post-crash days of 1996.

Really not much more to say... the story was insane, but fun.  The cameos were incredible... and the art was really quite good.  Seeing J. Scott Campbell cover all of these characters over the past three issues has been an absolute treat.  I never would have guessed he was such a versatile artist.  I know he has a style... and it's one I think is phenomenal... but to see him cut loose on the Archie characters... Hellboy... even Katchoo from Strangers in Paradise... the man is one hell of a talent.  And, as with most of WildStorm's offerings... the coloring is fantastic!

Overall... ya know... when I started on our visit to the world of WildStorm, I wasn't planning on giving this a solid recommendation... more of a "you may dig this".  After reading all three, I gotta say... if you're a fan of 90's comics, this strange trilogy belongs in your comics library.  Worth a read and definitely worth owning, just for the novelty and trippiness of the thing.

I personally really enjoyed our little detour into the WildStorm universe... and think I can safely say we'll have more on the horizon.  DC's pulling the concept out of the mothballs in 2017... and hell, if it's good enough for them... it's good enough for me.

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