Impulse #34 (1998)

Impulse #34 (February, 1998)
"The Devonian Age"
Writer - William Messner-Loebs
Pencils - Craig Rousseau
Inks - Barbara Kaalberg
Letters - Chris Eliopoulos
Colors - Tom McCraw
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Cover Price: $1.95

It's the Second Day of Christmas on Infinite Earths... and, wouldja lookit what we've got here!  Bart Allen frantically rocking around the Christmas Tree opening gifts... looks like we're in for a treat today!

You'd think that... right?

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We open, and it's excitement right out of the gate!  Impulse and Max Mercury are... setting up Max's new Fax Machine.  Try and contain yourselves, I dare ya!  When the going gets too tough (which is to say, too boring) Bart rushes off to school.  Later that afternoon, he's helping Mr. Sheridan hang up a banner for the New Year's Dance... which, I mean... shouldn't be nearly as involved as they're making it seem here... it's like a, two... maybe four thumbtack job at most.  Sheridan's using a chair to reach where he wants the banner hung, which is evidently a "non-approved appliance" per the rules of the school.

We get some pretty lame physical comedy here, as Sheridan is spooked off the seat, but before he hits the ground, Bart zips a bunch of chairs in place.  Nobody can quite figure out what just happened... but before they can ask any questions, Bart's whisked away by Max Mercury... who'd already received his first fax!

Turns out, there's some weird goings-on at Area 52 the Speedsters need to look into.  I dunno about you all, but this kinda thing really makes me feel like it's Christmas!  Upon arrival at Area 52, the fellas are faced with some goofs in hazmat suits.  Bart doesn't wait for Max to concoct a plan... and just charges in.  The hazmatters then pop outta sight, leading to Bart crashing right into Max, kayoing the both'a dem!

They wake up a little later only to find themselves trapped in a dome.  It can only be... Brainiac!  Well, no... it's actually Dr. Julian Tremain, the Master of Time and Space!  Yeah, him... in the flesh!  Okay, okay... this is the first of this fella's two appearances.

Bart informs the Doc that, duh, he can vibrate out of the dome anytime he pleases... and that's exactly what he does... which, as it turns out, is exactly what Tremain was hoping for!  Bart charges... and as his Speed Forceyness kicks in, the Doc's assistant blasts him with a beam!  The four fellas vanish!

We pick back up with Bart and Max... in the Devonian Age!  Shockingly this is not an age where everyone is named "Devon" (though, that would be a good guess)... it's actually a time period that started 419.2 Million Years back (give or take)... and ran until 358.9 Million Years ago (again, give or take).  It's considered to be a link between lobe-finned fish and early amphibians and is named after Devon, England where rocks from this era were initially studied.  Learn something new every day!

Bart thinks this is pretty cool... and decides he might wanna run amok for a bit, seeing the entire world before man set foot on it and what-not.  Max nyoinks him back by the collar, and tells him to cool his jets.  After all, even stepping on a single grasshopper could have effects that change the very fabric of human existence.

Bart is cool with staying put, and as Max continues to pontificate, he crafts a crude fishing rod to catch some supper.  Max, of course, flips out at this notion.  Which leads to Bart's next question... are they just supposed to starve to death?  Max considers the options... and realizes that could be just as bad for the future of the world and humanity... their corpses would release bacteria that could be detrimental to the ecosystem... seems they're in a lose-lose situation here!

While they mull it over, the scent of roasting fish interrupts their trains of thought.  Turns out, Dr. Tremain and his assistant have no such qualms over mucking about in the ecosystem... they've started a fire, and they're dining on fish!  Bart and Max figure... heck, the fish are already dead, and the fire's already lit... might as well dig in!

Tremain informs the Speedsters that he never thought up a way home... and is totally cool with the idea that he'll just be the first ever ruler of the world.  Seems like something to hang your hat on, I guess.  The only way out of this, it would seem, is if something happened in the past that stopped future-Tremain from concocting the plan to go back in time in the first place!  Bart swats at a mosquito... and wouldn'tcha know it, we're suddenly back in the present!

But... it's a very different present!  Instead of hanging a banner for the New Year's Dance, Mr. Whatshisface is hanging a banner in honor of World President For-Life Tremain!

The rules of the school are fact more strict... but not terribly interesting.  We wrap up with Bart walking outside, only to find Max Mercury locked up in the stocks... looks like their actions in the past are haunting them in the present!

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Dunno about you guys, but that made me feel like Christmas!  Arright, arright... that's not the first "Christmas book" we've discussed that forgot to include Christmas.  You can take a look at last year's discussion of The Spirit #13 (2008) for something similar... a really neat Holiday-themed cover, with no holly-jolly to be had on the inside.  If you really wanna see Impulse himself celebrate (in a not-so-hot story), you can take a look at the discussion on Impulse #45 (1999) from two-years back.

So yeah, as a Christmas story... this issue fails.  As a non-Christmas story... iiiiiiiit's still not great shakes.  I can get down with "Butterfly Effect" stories, and time-travel can always be a bit interesting... but this just didn't do it for me.  I mean, if you're playing with time-travel and you've got a Christmas cover... you'd almost expect Impulse to witness the first Christmas or something.  Ehh, whattayagonnado?

This book often tries using "physical" comedy as it's hook... but, the set-ups are just so hokey and contrived here.  Early on with Sheridan hanging the banner was pretty lame... and the result, with them all just sitting in chairs that weren't there a second ago... feels a little too Bugs Bunny for me... and, where Bugs could get away with it, a kid trying to keep a secret identity really can't.

Worth noting, the Speedsters head to Area 52, an obvious play on Area 51... but, I mean, DC does have that odd fetish with the number "52"... we've seen signs of it even pre-Flashpoint (and pre-Fifty-Two)... makes me wonder if one day, someone might try and connect all of the off-handed mentions of the number into a meta-story.  Hmm... think I'll file that in my "good bad ideas" pile.

Overall... yeah, this one's a "pass".  I'd say if you come across it in a quarter-bin, it might be worth it for the cover.  Sadly, there's not much more to recommend other than that.

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On the Second Day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I gave to you, Impulse #34, and a Flash (vol.2) #73 Discussion and Review.

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Impulse #1 (1995)

Impulse #1 (April, 1995)
"The Single Synapse Theory"
Writer - Mark Waid
Pencils - Humberto Ramos
Inks - Wayne Faucher
Colors - Tom McCraw
Letters - Chris Eliopoulos
Assistant Editor - Alisande Morales
Associate Editor - Ruben Diaz
Editor - Brian Augustyn
Cover Price: $1.50

Today we're going to wrap up the Young Justice "Trinity" (I think they're kinda timely right now, no?).  After chatting up both Superboy #1 and Robin #1, we're finally going to be taking a look at the first issue of Impulse.

If you'd like to check out the other discussions, just click'em the covers.

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We open just outside Manchester, Alabama... where a missile is being tested.  What those testing it do not realize is that Alabama's latest (only) speedster is having himself a little run just before heading in for his first day of school.  The missile locks onto Impulse... and he takes it on a bit of a chase, before it finally strikes its intended target... a strange hovercraft.  They erratic path the missile has taken does not go unnoticed by the crew.

Next we see Bart, he's stomping the halls of... I dunno, Manchester High School, I guess.  It's here we see a fair amount of cringy teen-speak, which kinda takes the wind out of my sails that "cringy teen-speak" is a relatively new phenomenon in comics.

Bart heads into his classroom, where he does that whole "stand in front of the class and introduce yourself" thing, that I'm pretty sure I've never actually seen in real life.  He doesn't say much, and just takes his seat.  It isn't long before he's zoning out during a history lesson.  This doesn't go unnoticed either.

The teacher grills Bart on everything she'd just discussed... and, he's able to recount everything down to the tiniest detail.  She takes this as "sass", and decides to use it in order to punish the entire class.  Now they all have to write their own "personal histories".

And so, Bart quickly learns how to write (no foolin') and gets right down to it.  Gotta say, this is a pretty creative way to dump exposition.  His story starts with his grandparents, Barry and Iris... who "retired" to the far-flung 30th Century following the Trial of the Flash.  There, they had children... who grew up and had children of their own, including... our boy Bart!

Bart grew up in a virtual reality dealie, and aged at an accelerated pace.  To save him from dying of old age in only a handful of years, Bart was sent back to the present... where he met the current Flash, Wally West... even fought alongside him!  He'd be given "identity papers" and sent to Alabama to live with the Golden Age speedster, Max Mercury.

After school, Bart shows Max his biography... which gets summarily torn up.  Ya see, the whole point of this was to keep the Flash family secrets quiet.  If Bart goes blabbin' in his biography... that'd kinda put the kibosh on that.

Bart unpacks the house while Max reads the paper.  He learns about that experimental hovertank... which is set to be demo'ed that Saturday.  Bart finds that curious, as he recalls overhearing that the missile had to be "dead on"... for Saturday.  He runs off while Max... continues to read the paper.

Back at the Mesa, the "missile guys" slow down the tape of their earlier attempt... and get a good look at what caused the morning missile to go all cattywampus... Impulse!

Speaking of Impulse, he's heading back over.  He is snagged by a pair of geeks, but manages to get away... running right into a darkened room where he finds himself staring down a whole lotta gun-barrels.

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Not a bad way to launch a series.  Not exactly the highest of stakes... but they don't always need to be, right?  The threat here is really just a backdrop for Bart's acclimating to his new environment, and that's fair enough.

I definitely appreciated the creative way the Bart Allen history was presented here.  Not a straightforward "info-dump", but a story told in Bart's own words... just moments after learning how to write, so there again too, we get to see Bart "grow".  My only complaint about this is... the cursive handwriting was a bit difficult to read.  I suppose, being that these are the first words Bart's written, it makes sense... but, I gotta say... I'd have much preferred being able to read these captions without squinting, or pressing my face into the page.

The interaction between Bart and Max felt... I suppose "right".  These two were just kinda shoved together, and it makes sense that they wouldn't automatically feel like family.  It also gives the two some room to grow together... which they will.

The art here comes from a young Humberto Ramos... and his style, even in 1995, really compliments the frenetic Impulse character.  Outside of Wieringo, Ramos is who I most associate with Impulse... and I really dig what he brings.

Overall... this might not rock your socks, but I think there's a lot of fun to be had here.  Couldn't tell ya whether or not the upcoming Wonder Comics Imprint Young Justice will feature this Impulse... but, it wouldn't hurtcha to become acquainted with this fella.  This issue is available digitally... for a buck!

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Impulse #45 (1999)

Impulse #45 (February, 1999)
"The Christmas Impulse!"
Writer - William Messner-Loebs
Penciller - Craig Rousseau
Inker - Barb Kaalberg
Letterer - Janice Chiang
Colorist - Tom McCraw
Separations - Jamison
Assistant Editor - L.A. Williams
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Cover Price: $2.25

Day 6 - Twelve Days of Christmas on Infinite Earths - Impulse - Let's Go!

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We open up with Max Mercury killing time while he heals up after having been shot on Halloween.  The monotony is cripplingly boring.  Luckily, after a while he is visited by... Impulse with boobs?  What?  Oh, it's actually Impulse's mother, Meloni... from the future!  She really does just look like a female Bart, though.

The pair chat a bit in Interlac until the notice that a crime is currently taking place at the bank... the, get this, Green Cigarette and his gang are currently robbing the joint.  Max is worried that Bart will get wind of this and head over straight away.

... and he does!  However, before he do a whole lot, his speed powers trigger an earthquake, which causes the bank to start coming apart.  At this point, civilians and villains alike look out for each other's best interests and safety... it's as though they'd been affected by the Christmas Impulse!  Why, the baddies even decide to reform... and the bank manager refuses to press charges!  Whaaaa?

Once that's all set, Bart returns home... and reunites with his mother.  We learn that Meloni is planning on staying at Max's (daughter's) pad for the next three weeks... which doesn't really make anyone all that happy.  There's a bit of a to-do, which ends with Bart running off...

... to the Janitor's closet at school.  Hmm, okay.  Anyhoo, the Guidance Counselor pops his head in and Bart sorta-kinda lets it slip that he might just be Impulse... and his uncle Max Crandall is actually Max Mercury.  Ya'd figure this would be a no brainer... I mean, look at Bart and Impulse's ridiculous hair for starters... and there really aren't all that many older fellas around named Max, right?

Luckily, this Guidance Counselor, Jasper Pierson doesn't have the brains God gave a peanut... as he calls Max to tell him that Bart "seems to believe" he's Impulse... hmm...

Max and the family all head up to the school for a role-playing session with the helpful Pierson.  He wants them to all facilitate Bart's delusions of heroics... and talk to him as though he really was Impulse.  Not really sure what good this might do the boy... even in theory... but, okey dokey... it'll move the story forward... in theory.

The main thing that comes out of this is that Bart is blaming himself for Max getting shot over Halloween.  Max gives him the skinny on what actually went down that night.  He did (literally) catch a bullet that was fired... but did not account for the possibility that their might be a second bullet in the muzzle.  That's the bullet that shot him.  It's not Bart's fault at all.  What's really crazy here is that Pierson is still clueless... even after Meloni goes off in Interlac... yeesh.

Before the Bart family can get all group-huggy, the Green Cigarette enters.  He wishes to hand over all of the profits he'd made from his life of crime over the past thirty-years... and so, hands over a check for $50.  Ya see, he never said he was all that great at being a criminal!  Nyuk.

The issue ends with Bart and Max walking home.  Along the way, Max gives Bart a hug... when asked if it was due to a Christmas Impulse, Max grumbles.  The End.

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Ehhh...

Often while I read (or reread) the issues I'm going to be discussing here, I get all excited about what I'm going to talk about.  I make little notes, and bullet point some of the things I want to make sure to include... sadly, this issue did not inspire me to do so.

This is in the fallout of Max Mercury being shot... we took a look at that issue back in October for our #boohauntedblog Halloween special... and that issue was... maybe a little less "ehhh" than this one... but still pretty blah.  

Really, not a whole lot goes down here... Impulse's mother shows up... looking like Impulse-with-boobs.  The Green Cigarette sees the error of his ways and decides to reform... and we get some weird role-play with the school guidance counselor... none of which, to me, was all that entertaining.  The art, is an acquired taste... and usually I'm down with Rousseau's work on this title... but here, it's really not all that great.  The faces look especially off, leaving the characters with almost ape-like visages.  Really quite unpleasant to look at.

Overall... if you're looking for a good Christmas story... look elsewhere.  If you're looking for a good Impulse story... look elsewhere.  I'd say this one is for completionists (of Christmas or Impulse comics) only.  Not worth tracking down.

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On the sixth day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I gave to you... Impulse #45, Green Lantern (vol.3) #59!  Green Lantern (vol.3) #36, Superman (vol.2) #76, JSA #55, and a Batman and the Outsiders #19 Review...