Batman Holiday Special '09

DC Universe Holiday Special '09 (Batman)
"Silent Knight"
Writer - Jay Faerber
Art/Colors - Peter Nguyen
Letters - Rob Clark, Jr.
Editors - Adam Schlagman & Eddie Berganza

Welcome to DC Comics' 2009 celebration of the Holiday Season... which, via the sheer amount of short-stories included in this ish, will bring us right on up to Christmas Day!  No joke, there are actually sixteen stories in this book!  Some shorter than others, but, Christmas Completionists that we are, we'll get to 'em all!

Let's start our journey with... oh, c'mon.  Yer kiddin' me, right?  Another Silent Batman Christmas story?!  How many of these do we need in our lives?

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We open with Batman in hot-pursuit of a Santa Claus who had just robbed a truck of a bag of loot.  The baddie fires a few shots at the Bat before slipping away into an old warehouse.  An old warehouse... full of Santa Clauses?!  Well, isn't this just the most festive little crime ring we ever did see?

Batman camps out above for a bit planning his next move... before, somehow getting inside the joint.  I don't see any broken glass, or open doors.  Actually, all I can see is the painstaking level of detail Peter Nguyen put into Batman's boot laces!  I mean, check this out:

Anyhoo, Batman lands amid the Santas... and proceeds to beat all that's holy outta one of 'em.  Thankfully, the right one!

Just then, another one of the Santas puts his hand on Batman's shoulder... it's here that we learn that the rest of 'em are good guys.  They give our hero some cocoa and cookies... and share a Christmas snack.

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I'll give it one thing... at least this wasn't the same old "Batman's tough and scary... but has a heart of gold" silent story I feel like we usually get around Christmastime!  At least there was something more to this than that.

Not saying it's all that great or anything... I mean, this feels like something it took all of 30-seconds to come up with from a "writing" standpoint.  The art, however, is pretty phenomenal!  While stylistically probably not everyone's cuppa tea (or cocoa), I don't think you can deny the sheer talent of Peter Nguyen.

What else is there to say?  Batman sitting down to cocoa and cookies with the Santas is a bit too "lol, random" for me to get excited about... but, I'm sure this can be a satisfying ending for some!

Tomorrow: The Man of... Snow?

Titans #29 (2001)

Titans #29 (July, 2001)
"Kid Stuff"
Writer - Jay Faerber
Penciller - Paul Pelletier
Inkers - Bud LaRosa & Dennis Janke
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Gregory Wright
Separations - Heroic Age
Assistant Editor - Harvey Richards
Editor - Andrew Helfer
Cover Price: $2.50

Last week, before my trip... I introduced you to the D.E.O. Kids (or the D.E.Orphans as someone on Twitter dubbed them).  We left with them being sent away... but returning just a couple of pages later.  Let's see what they've gotten themselves into...

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We open with Tempest arriving home to Atlantis to meet with his new wife, Dolphin and new baby, Cerdian... and boy does she give him an earful.  They get into it a bit about his not ever being home... which gives him the opportunity to catch us all up on the recent goings-on at Titans Tower (ie. The D.E.Orphans).  She ain't buying much of it... and implies that her hubby's priorities are all sorts of outta whack.  Just then... wouldn'tcha know it, his Titans Communicator starts beeping.

Back at Titans Tower, the gang is trying to figure out what to do with their returned house guests.  If you recall, last issue Donna dropped them off with Child Services... only to find that they beat her back to Titans Tower.  Dick asks how they did it... but doesn't get much of a response... so, they get locked in the Conference Room until they decide to fess up.

Worth noting (I guess), Argent is taking Apex... which might be a dietary supplement... might be COCAINE?!!!... not sure yet.  Either way, it makes her feel great.

Left to their own devices, the D.E.Orphans start arguing among themselves, until... they begin to exhibit their super-powers... natch.

The Titans rush back into the Conference Room to calm the kids down... amid the confusion, Nikki (the Autistic child) wanders out of the room...

... and into an elevator, passed some pervy repairmen... and into the Titans' Sys-Ops security center.  Where she uses her nebulous powers to cause the Towers' defenses to go pretty crazy.

We get a few pages of the Titans trying to fight off their own security measures... and see that none of said measures are trying to inhibit the D.E.Orphans.  They immediately deduce that Nikki is probably behind the fracas, and head off to find her.

On their way to the Sys-Ops center, they pass by those same repairmen, one of whom is currently having a heart attack.  Grace tells Eli to use his "stupid-power" to slow down the man's heart so it doesn't explode out of his chest.

The Titans finally arrive to help the kids with the repairman... and Eli goes along to the hospital with them to keep that heartbeat on pace.  Elsewhere, Grace and Donna find Nikki... it's confirmed that she has Austism... and Donna starts having either pangs of the maternal variety... or maybe it's just guilt.

Either way... later that evening, the Titans discuss what they ought to do with their orphan-infestation.  Epsilon (the non-Titan) offers his two-cents... which Dick quickly shuts down.  Donna, however, sides with the geek... and thinks maybe they should house the kids.

Dick thinks on it a bit... and actually considers that these D.E.Orphans might just be the next generation of Titans (heaven help us).  Buuuuut, none of the Titans know anything about dealing with an Autistic child.  Donna's all "ehhh, we'll figure it out", which seems like a well-thought out and highly responsible thing to say, considering the Autistic girl nearly killed everyone in the Tower earlier that day.

They put it to a vote (that we're not privy to), and it turns out the "ayes" had it... the D.E.Orphans can stay.  Hoo-rah?

Later yet, we join the D.E.Orphans hanging out at the docks when... something approaches!  They rush off to inform Tempest, who is just as surprised to find that... it's Dolphin and his son.  Worse yet... they're moving in!

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Welp, we've only known the D.E.Orphans for about twenty minutes... and they've already worn out their welcome.  I wonder what sort of wacky hijinks they'll get into next?!

This is definitely a case of "making chicken salad", because really... whatcha gonna do when your editor insists you add this painfully uninteresting and unfun element to your comic?  You kinda have to illustrate that they have powers... and that they can "hang" with the rest of the group.  You gotta throw in a flaw or two... I mean, all of the "nuts and bolts" are there... but at the end of the day, it's still not fun.  It's still not a group of people I care to read about.  Having the Titans on the periphery... but not as the driving focus here feels kinda like adding insult to injury.

Let's talk about the potential for things to go wrong for a bit... because that was my main takeaway from this issue.  Nikki, the Autistic girl has demonstrated some pretty amazing powers here... powers, that nearly killed a man... and put the lives of all of the Titans in danger.  Donna's nonchalance over how they should work with Nikki comes across as rather ignorant.  It really is tantamount to "ehh, we'll figure it out".

I mean, I've got a saying I use facetiously sometimes... "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it"... but, that's said (mostly) as a joke.  This feels pretty much like that, however Donna's being genuine!  How many near-dead bodies is it going to take to realize that maybe a team of adventurers and crime-fighters might not be the best equipped to educate, aid, and guide a super-powered Autistic child?

... Especially when one of those crime-fighters might be hooked on diet pills???  I kid, I kid... but, I'd pop if we get a scene of a frantic Argent singing "I'm so excited"!

Worth mentioning... still love the art.  Pelletier turns in his normal great work.  The D.E.Orphans still look completely uninteresting, but it doesn't seem fair to lay that at the artists' feet.  Feels like there were a few more fingers in the pot than usual when it came to their "design" (or lack thereof).

Overall... can't really say that this one is "must reading".  The D.E.Orphans feel like they have enough "staying power" to fill a one-off... and I'm not looking forward to seeing them become a main focus moving forward.

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Titans #28 (2001)

Titans #28 (June, 2001)
"The All-Nighter"
Writer - Jay Faerber
Penciller - Paul Pelletier
Inker - Bud LaRosa
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Gregory Wright
Separations - Heroic Age
Assistant Editor - Harvey Richards
Editor - Andrew Helfer
Cover Price: $2.50

Continuing our impromptu Titans revisit... and, ya know... I've mentioned the "D.E.O. Kids" a time or two... so what say we finally get around to meeting them?

By the by, this cover scares the bejeezus out of me... I'm almost afraid to snap a picture of it!

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We open with Nightwing fielding an urgent call from Tempest while he swings through the Bludhaven skies.  Garth insists he get to the tower PDQ... because, ya see... the Titans have guests.  The geeks in the jumpsuits are the oft-mentioned (by me) D.E.O. Kids.

And, they have names!

Donna tries to get to the bottom of the situation... but, the kids ain't really keen on sharing much... not even how they got on the island.  Jesse Quick decides to take a lap around the island to see if she can find a raft or boat or something.  The kids seem tickled with her speed equation... and attempt to recite it.  Only Nikki the "shy one" is able to recall the entire thing.  Oh, and there's no sign of how the kids got there.

We shift scenes over to The Slab, where Roy is visiting, who else... Cheshire.  Before he leaves, hes chatted up by D.E.O. Special Agent Dakota Jamison regarding the Titans helping Epsilon escape.  The scene ends with Roy's Native American "heritage" being called into question... just so he can put this lady in her place.

Back at the Tower... Dick takes in the situation.  The kids seem healthy, happy, and unabused.  Epsilon saunters over to introduce himself... and accidentally knocks Dick's coffee cup from his hands.  Luckily, D.E.O. tot Grace and her quick reflexes stop him from losing a single drop.  Then Jesse bursts in to tell them about some trouble at S.T.A.R. Labs.

Dick sends Tempest, Jesse, Argent, and... Epsilon to deal with the situation.  It's here we can see just how terrible a superhero Epsilon really is.  I mean, the dude is pretty hopeless.  The Titans distract the beast long enough for a Dr. Rivera to fire an antidote into its hide.  As the dust settles, Argent sidles up to the newbie... and it's pretty clear she's "interested".  The Epsilon dealie will be cleared up later... and it'll be kinda icky.

Back at the Tower, Dick and Donna tend to the tots.  Nightwing tries getting some fingerprints... but Nikki ain't having it.  Grace calms her down... and explains that she doesn't like getting her fingers dirty.  They're clearly headed for an Autism explanation... which, being that this is a comic from 2001, it almost feels ahead of its time.

Once he gets 'em, Dick sends the prints over to Oracle... and Donna overhears some of their flirting.  This is a pretty big deal... nobody outside of the Bat-Family really seems to know that Dick and Oracle are an "item".  Dick tries to excuse his way out of it... but quickly realizes the futility of lying to one of his oldest and closest friends.

The next morning Nightwing holds court, and announces that the Titans will be turning the D.E.O. Kids over to Children's Services.  Epsilon pipes up to dissent... which causes the actual Titans to kinda raise an eyebrow... but not not much more.

Dick then breaks the news to the Kids... which, doesn't go over all that well.  The Kids are then loaded onto the T-Jet and flown into the city.  Dick's feeling guilty, so he makes sure to take the "scenic route".

At Children's Services, Donna turns the tots over to... I thought for a second that was Amanda Waller... but it's just Mrs. Brookstead.  While Donna and Brookstead chat, the D.E.O. Kids huddle up.  When Donna goes to say goodbye... she's surprised to find that they're all in scarily high spirits.

On the way back to the Tower, Donna drops Dick off in Bludhaven.  We wrap up with Donna heading into Lian's room to check on her... only to find...

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Well, those were the D.E.O. Kids... adorable, right?

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I wanted to share part of an interview conducted with Jay Faerber from TwoMorrows Publishing's Titans Companion, Volume Two, wherein he talks about the drastic shift in focus this book took when Eddie Berganza was replaced as editor by Andy Helfer.

Check out the rest of this interview at Titans Tower

So, there ya have it.  We can't blame Faerber for this... poor guy was just trying to "make chicken salad".

Was he successful?  Well... if we put this issue in a vacuum... kinda?  I mean, this wasn't a bad issue.  The kids are pretty dull, but... whattaya expect from some mostly-interchangeable kids in jumpsuits?  At first glace, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the brats "grew up" to become the Lab Rats or something.

Keeping with the Faerber interview... he mentions how much he wants to write the "core characters", and boy does that show!  And, boy... does he deliver!  For me, the highlight of this issue is that single page where Donna realizes that there's a romance between Dick and Oracle.  In that one page... this actually felt like a "Titans book".  From Dick's sheepish denial... to Donna's pure joy at his happiness... these are the characters I want to read about.

The Arsenal scene at The Slab?  Ehh... feels like the whole thing was wedged in just so he could tell that D.E.O. Agent off.  Didn't seem worth the panel space.  Though, I suppose it does give us a pretty decent segue to discuss... Epsilon.

Epsilon is pretty lame... and if I'm remembering right, all of this buildup is for a reveal that kinda falls flat.  It also makes Argent's flirtations with him a bit gross.  Again, that is, if I'm remembering right.  I did appreciate that he was depicted as being almost a liability on the battlefield... that much was really well done.

Quick mention... Nikki's Autism.  It's hinted at, but we're not really beaten over the head with it.  This was also nearly two decades ago when I feel like we were all less educated on what Autism is... and how to identify signs of it.  This is another thing that feels like "real Titans".  Being ahead of the curve on issues such as this feels right at home among these characters.

Overall... as a curiosity, I'd tell ya to give this a look.  Paul Pelletier delivers some wonderful work... and the concept of the D.E.O. Orphans is still fresh enough here to make me not immediately roll my eyes.  Worth a gander... but, man... that cover.  I'm afraid I've cursed you all to having Donna Troy crawl out of your comic in seven days or something!

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Titans #13 (2000)

Titans #13 (March, 2000)
"Fallout"
Story - Jay Faerber & Devin Grayson
Penciller - Patrick Zircher
Inkers - Andrew Robinson & Mark Propst
Colorist - Pam Rambo
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Maureen McTigue
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.50

Sticking with the Titans for another day... and, wouldja lookit that... it's one'a those covers.  What's that thing I was saying yesterday about Titans books "running in place"?

Times like this I feel like we need a "greatest hits" line of comics, so the ongoing books can actually... ya know, go-on.

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We open in the Titans rarely-used conference room, wherein Nightwing is raking the team over the coals for their poor showing against the H.I.V.E. and... Tartarus.  Tartarus, if you're unaware, is like the anti-Titans.  Every member has a correlating baddie.  Starfire takes exception to Dick's outburst... and has one of her own.  The rest of the Titans just sit and wait for it all to be over.  Well, Roy has somewhere he'd rather be... and that's at the bedside of his... not gonna say "baby-mama"... Cheshire.  To which, Tempest mutters about having his own wife to return to.

At this point, Dick... really acts his name, and goes off on "marriages of convenience"... which, as you might imagine, triggers Starfire something good.  Can't really argue though, it seems like every time the Titans go "off planet" Starfire winds up with another husband.

The rest of the Titans kinda clutch their pearls... as if they'd never seen teammates fight before.  Vic, for no other reason than to remind us what happened nearly twenty-years earlier, mentions Terra... then, he quits the team.  Not so fact, kemosabe... it's not just that you shouldn't quit... it's that you're not allowed to!

Ya see, the whole mishagoss that started this volume of Titans was the JLA/Titans: Technis Imperative miniseries... in which, Vic was the main antagonist!  When the dust settled, the JLA wanted to send Vic to S.T.A.R. Labs... however, Nightwing was able to convince him them (okay okay, it was Batman) to release Cyborg to the Titans.

Amid the tension, Flash runs off to attend a JLA meeting.  This Flash... may or may not be Wally West... or, maybe it's just not "our" Wally West.  Either way, he jets.  Dick asks Jesse Quick to drag his speedster-ass back right away... so he can fire him from the team.

Nightwing then turns his attention to the rest of the group... and suggests they do a little soul-searching.  All of the "established" members walk out.

We pop over to S.T.A.R. Labs where Vic is looking for some answers... hell, at this point, he might be looking for the questions as well!  Either way, he's here to chat up his old friend Sarah (not from the Special School).  Unbeknownst to him, Gar tagged along for the trip... and to try and talk his golden pal off the precipice.

Back at the Tower... Donna Troy's room is bombarded with advice-seeking Titans... which causes her to lash out.  Remember, over the past few years, Donna's lost her fair share of things too.  Her son, her identity... her memories... and now, perhaps her boyfriend Roy.  She boots her teammates out, and suggests they find another listening ear to talk into.

Over at Manhattan General, Roy attempts to sneak in to have a look at Cheshire.  He gets the ol' heavy-ho.  His tagger-alonger is Damage, who witnesses the whole thing.

Then, over to the Titans Island docks... where Tempest sulks.  He is approached by his tagger-alonger, Argent... who tells him there's more than one brunette on the island he can talk to.

Inside the Tower, Nightwing works out his aggression on a heavy bag.  His tagger-alonger is Jesse Quick who... quits the team!  She ain't buyin' all the "we're a family" shim-sham, especially since she doesn't even know Nightwing's civilian identity... nor has she ever seen his face without the mask.

Back in the city, Roy fires an arrow into Cheshire's hospital room... with a note proclaiming his love for her.  That's kinda weird... I didn't think they were ever "in love".  Oh well.

Next stop, the Dockside Diner... where putting the team back together kinda went down.  Argent and Tempest are having some coffee... and are soon joined by Starfire and Donna.  Starfire insists that she brought Donna out to listen to her troubles, but I'm not buyin' it.

They are then joined by Roy and Damage... and they awkwardly sit in silence... until Donna asks where the rest of the team might be.

We close out by finding out where the rest of the team are... and a cry for help from our old friend Lilith Clay!

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Now, I give this book a hard time every now and again... but, I gotta admit... I'm a sucker for this inter-titans drama.  Of course, much of this will be blamed on the freaking Gargoyle... but, at least for this issue, I think we can just try and enjoy it for what it is.

There's definitely a feeling of "been there, done that" to this book... which, by the second year into a run, should be over with.  I get "playing the hits" when a new volume is starting out... that's the honeymoon period... we want to see "the hits".  But, a riff on New Teen Titans #39... with barely a year's worth of stories under your belt?  I'm sorry... I just don't think this book "earned" that.

The more I revisit some of the post-Marv Titans, the more I see that... while a lotta folks love this property... and a lot of creators want to work on this property... once they've got it, they don't seem to know what to do with it.  And so, we get the "greatest hits".  Don't know what to do?  Break 'em up!  What next?  Throw a "traitor" on the team!

It feels like another property I love, the Fantastic Four.  The past several volumes of that series has been... break 'em up, spend a year bringing them back together... then, cancel the book and start all over again!  I'm not looking for anyone to reinvent the wheel... I mean, we saw whatever the hell the New-52! volume was... but, instead of just rehashing and reheating the past, maybe use the past to build the future.  That's not what we get here.

That said though... I didn't dislike this book one bit.  I felt that the characterization, while extreme in places, really worked.  There is a real feeling of frustration bubbling up here... and it makes your mind wander with all of the possibilities... that is, if you don't know about the Gargoyle.

And, while I still don't feel like this volume "earned" the Perez homage... this team definitely did need a "culling" of sorts.  There were definitely too many Titans... a cast this unwieldy lends to having half the team only appear in the background.  Trimming the fat is a good thing for this book.

I think my only real "ehh" bits here is Roy's devotion to Cheshire.  That doesn't quite sit right with me... also, Vic losing his cool.  I always see Vic as being hot-but-level headed.  I'd figure he'd understand what Dick had done for him... and appreciated it, at least on the level that he's not living the rest of his life hooked up to machines at S.T.A.R. Labs.

The art here is from another of my favorite guys, Patrick Zircher.  While I'm a big fan of Mark Buckingham (whose art opened this volume), I feel like Zircher is a much better fit.  There's really not a bad looking page in this book.

Overall... if you're a sucker for Titanic drama (like I am), you're probably going to dig this.  If you're tired of all'a that... you might wanna give this a pass with the knowledge that "the Gargoyle did it".

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Next Planet Over would only last about another year... news of their shutdown was reported in April, 2001 

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