Showing posts with label joe casey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joe casey. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Weird Comics History - Cable Eats a Bagel

 

Weird Comics History - Cable Eats a Bagel

Or... the de-Imagification of Nathan Dayspring Askani'son Summers

Should I start this piece by doing that sarky internet writer thing, by reminding you all that it's been thirty years since Image Comics launched? Ya know, to remind us all how dreadfully oooooooold we are? Nah, I won't put'cha through that...

Actually, rather than talk at all about the launch of Image Comics... which, I've already done... several times, and if I'm being completely honest -- I'm kinda "over" it, I want to discuss how the original "Image attitude" kinda fell out of the comics zeitgeist during the latter half of the decade, and in particular, the surprising "de-Imagification" of a character who I never thought I'd enjoy reading about.

If you're more interested in partying like it's 1992... well: pouches, advantageous, shoulder pads, no-feet. Cool? Cool.

For my bit, we're gonna hop to the other end of the decade. It's 1998, and I was newly back into the comics hobby after... a little while away. I've told this story before, though I'm not sure if I've ever actually written about it. Assuming I have (I do write and talk a lot), I'll spare you the deep dive and just share the quick 'n dirty of it. Basically, I found myself fed up with the gimmicks. I clearly had more sense at 15 than I do today, because back then I actually did walk away. For a bit. It was the week that X-Men (vol.2) #45 hit the shelves... and, as I did every month, I hobbled my way down to the comic shop with a couple'a bucks in my pocket to pick up my latest fix. Upon arrival, I was intensely annoyed that... rather than being a regular-sized/regular-covered $1.99 "X-Men Deluxe" issue... it was a $3.95 cardstock-n-foil gimmick cover issue -- one which I didn't have near enough repurposed lunch money to leave the store with! I asked the owner why this was a "special issue", as it wasn't a "divisible by 25" issue -- turns out, it was the 20th anniversary of Giant-Size... and, boy, it was like a veil was lifted.

I realized that, any given month... Marvel could decide to celebrate, ya know, anything -- and tart up and double the cost of our monthlies. See? I definitely had more sense back then. I put the ish back on the shelf -- proclaimed to anybody who'd listen that I was "done" with the hobby. I was leaving... and never coming back. The shop owner, Bob Nastasi of Amazing Comics in Sayville, New York assured me that I'd be back -- and that we always come back. Damned if he wasn't right.

A cross-country move, and the realization that I wasn't the most personable young fellow in the world, led me back to my comics comfort food. This move, ironically enough, almost resulted in me leaving my two longbox collection of comics behind! I thought I was done with 'em... and that phase in my life was over. I actually only took 'em with me as an afterthought... there just happened to be room on the truck!

This was mid-1997, and while I was enjoying revisiting the comics I had... ones I'd already read, seemingly dozens of times before already -- I wasn't quite prepared to venture into the wilds of my new stomping grounds in order to add to my collection. I still thought I was done. I figured that the industry would still be using the same gimmicks that ran me outta dodge in the first place... after all, it had only been a couple of years. This changed when I went to a nearby mall in order to apply for a job in every single store within it. There was a comic shop there... and, as I was already there to hand in an application... I decided to have a goo at the current offerings on the shelves. Picked up some X-Stuff... and, though it wasn't part of the "plan" -- I was back.

Not only was I back... but, I was completely back. Anyone who has the misfortune of knowing me, will know that I'm very much an "all or nothing" kinda idjit. If I'm in for one X-Book... then, dammit, I'm in for them all. Especially considering, this was around the time I became more active on USENET. When I first saw things like Paul O'Brien's X-Axis -- and sites like X-Fan being linked to. In seeing Paul's work, impressionable goof that I was, I found myself inspired... and decided that I wanted to do what he did. I wanted to share my thoughts on comics... though, likely in a far less enlightened and intelligent sort of way. Then as now, I wanted to be viewed as someone who had something worthwhile to say about the things I was passionate about. In order to do that (which, I never actually did -- even though I'm sure I was a far better writer back in the long ago than I am now), I'd definitely have to buy 'em all!

Now, the one book out of the entire X-Family of books circa 1997 that I was absolutely dreading having to buy, read, and think up clever things to say about was... Cable. In retrospect, that's saying something... since X-Men Unlimited, Howard Mackie's X-Factor, and Larry Hama's "pookafied" Generation X were still very much things. Cable to me was a relic, even in ye old 1997. He was the embodiment (or harbinger of) the Image Comics archetype. Big guns, shadowy past, constantly gritted teeth, nonsense "tough guy" talk, the whole thing. I held off on "committing" to Cable for as long as I could... mostly because, when I came back, his book was in the middle of a (then-rare) six-issue story arc, which I had no interest in jumping in on during its third or fourth chapter. At least that's what I told myself... I didn't seem to have any problem starting in the middle-issues of some of the other X-Books.

Cable, and by extension Image Comics, was emblematic to me of the ridiculous 90s comics excess that drove me outta the hobby to begin with. In hindsight, that might be an unfair conflation -- as Marvel was certainly no slouch when it came to "excess" (or x-cess, as the case may be). Perhaps, as I was just rediscovering my love of comics again, I wasn't quite ready to be reminded of all that? To me, I simply had to resign myself to the fact that... if I was going to go all-in, Cable was very much going to be a part of deal. Kind of a "You take the good, you take the bad..." situation.

And so I braced myself... and picked up my first issue of Cable since the series was in the single-digits, Cable #55 (June, 1998). I almost didn't... as, not only did this issue's cover prominently feature our man Nate... but also, Domino. Another "relic" from a time I didn't wanna revisit. Then... I sat down with the issue, which prompted a bit of an eyebrow raise. First off, the art in this book, by the... do we call him "underrated" (?), Jose Ladronn... wasn't like anything I'd seen on a "current-year" book -- especially not something out of Marvel and the X-Office. It was something of a modern take on classic Kirby... something that probably shouldn't have worked... and yet, did! The writer, Joe Casey, was another new name for me. Frankly, at this point in my collecting "career", most names would'a been. If you weren't one of the Image guys, the Pinis, Stan Lee, or Scott Lobdell, I wouldn't have a clue!

The title of this issue is "Wiser Times", and it couldn't be more appropriate... at least to the young Chris who was reading it. This was a Cable who, while still gristled... still battle-hardened -- felt more like a man who was learning from his future-past than being distilled down and defined by it. So many, if not all, of the early Cable stories were predicated on the fact that he was a mysterious man from the future... rather than being a character, Cable was a collection of mysteries given four-color flesh. And, ya know... great big guns. He was the archetypal early 90s (anti)hero. The more we seemed to learn about him... the less we actually knew. For every answer we got... five new questions sprang up. Add to that how "continuity copping" was becoming far less strict, and what we're left with is a recipe for disinterest.

Joe Casey came onto the title during the middle of that aforementioned six-issue arc, Hellfire Hunt. Between that and "Wiser Times" was a one-off in Wakanda with T'Challa. Straightforward and generic superheroics wherein Cable felt more like a placeholder than anything. The heroes teamed up to beat up Klaw... which, I feel like was the only thing anybody ever did when they hooked up with the Black Panther back then. It was with Wiser Times that Casey was able to try and give our Nate as fresh a start as possible.

Late in the James Robinson run on the title (which proceeded Casey), a character named Irene Merryweather was introduced. Irene was a reporter who would wind up traveling with Cable... acting as his chronicler and biographer. This addition gave me (and I'm sure at least a couple'a other readers) hope that... maybe we were working toward a "definitive" understanding of Cable. Not the soldier, not the messiah-figure, not the dude with the pointy-headed doppelganger... but Cable the man. Surely we're all affected by our life experiences in a multitude of ways. There's a lot to that nurture element that PSY101 students love to spend entire class periods debating. However, with this new addition to Cable's cast -- we may start taking those experiences and paying them forward... rather than stagnating within them.

Cable #55 was an issue that, when I was done reading it, I was kind of left flabbergasted (it doesn't take much). It wasn't at all what I expected from a Cable book. Judging from comments around USENET at the time, I wasn't alone. This issue was met with, ya know, mixed reviews. Some people (like me) loved it, and considered it a tremendous improvement on what had come before. Others, well... not so much. Here's a smattering of takes from the long ago:

We range from "It's a great read" to "Not Recommended". Good or bad, people are talking about it. And, after a couple thousand words of pre-ramble, maybe I ought to as well... in brief.

The issue is kind of a sandwich of the stuff you'd sorta-kinda expect on either end of the stuff you wouldn't. It's quite well done, and a fun way to set the tone for what the Casey/Ladronn Cable was going to be. It's the fluffy middle section of the book that I want to focus on. It'll be these (and subsequent) "fluffy" bits that the rest of this piece will be focusing on. Cable is now operating out of Daredevil's backyard, Hell's Kitchen... and stops in the Babel Diner for both a bite to eat and a respite from the rain. Speaking of DD, Matt Murdock's actually here grabbing a bite himself... but, our hero doesn't even acknowledge him.

Cable plops down at a booth... and, spends an entire page drinking a cup of coffee. This is the kind of page that has been used-to-abuse in the time since, but, back in 1998 -- it was kind of a novelty.

Cable #55 - (w) Joe Casey / (a) Jose Ladronn

This was my first indication that, this wasn't necessarily going to be the Cable I grew up with. This wasn't the early 90s Image Comics archetype. The pages that followed were equally bizarre... yet engaging. Cable and the waitress-soon-to-be-love-interest, Stacey Kramer share a little bit of small talk. Not through "lol, gritted teeth"... not staring down the barrel of a Mark-69 Liefeldian firearm... but, over a cuppa and (eventually) a bagel.

It's not often that Cable comes across as an actual human being. Used to be that scenes like this were few and far between... and when they would occur, they would be so tempered by angst and mystery that the conversation was rendered secondary (or tertiary). Here... it's small talk. Our hero still feels like Cable... but, some of the "Nate" is slipping in as well.

While these quiet scenes may define the Casey run for me, there is so much more to it. For those unaware, the X-Offices had been building to an epic confrontation between Cable and Apocalypse for... ever. It was earmarked for the turn of the century, and it was to be the battle to end all battles. "Was to be". Joe Casey would drop hints to this eventual clash throughout his run. While bebopping around the Marvel Universe having adventures with (and against) S.H.I.E.L.D., the dude who would become the M-Tech Deathlok, the Avengers, and... a crossover with X-Man that we don't need to talk about, there would be reminders that Cable's got a date with destiny on the millennial horizon.

Our man would battle the Harbinger of Apocalypse (a human jammed in a weird coffin by Poccy that had been infused with some sort of Celestial tech a century earlier)... he would prepare for the big dance by arming himself with, of all things, a traditional Askani spear called the Psimitar. Cable without great big guns? What gives, right? While we're at it... Cable was also without his Psi-Powers for a bit here, after the events of the Psi-War over in the flagship books... a story whose ramifications were forgotten about almost immediately after it ended!

Cable discovers the Psimitar
Cable #58 - (w) Joe Casey / (a) Ed McGuinness

All throughout these adventures, Cable would find himself returning to the Babel Diner... where he'd chat up and lay his troubles on Stacey. Their friendship would become a more romantic relationship... one that both grounded our hero as a much more relatable fellow... while at the same time, reminding us that he's not. Stacey wasn't the only member of the Kramer family to join Cable's cast of characters -- her younger brother, Kenny would also appear from time to time. Kenny had Down Syndrome... which Stacey hoped Cable might be able to use his "mind powers"... to cure!

Cable #64 - (w) Joe Casey / (a) Jose Ladronn

This is a powerful scene. Stacey, who was established early on as working on her nursing degree, is desperate see her brother living a "normal life". Hoping Cable's nebulous "mind powers" might do the trick... while choosing to ignore the common sense or ethics of the situation. Even more interesting, this scene occurs during the brief time where Cable no longer had those nebulous "mind powers", so we never find out whether or not he'd have given it a try. Later on in the issue, he attempts to explain this to Stacey -- but, a) she's not interested in hearing his excuse, and b) they happen across a dying Santa Claus laying in an alley (it's Christmastime). Even this Santa scene is important, as it shows that -- even without powers (and big ol' guns), Cable's first instinct is to act the hero.

These Christmastime scenes are scattered throughout Cable #64... fitting neatly between pages out of Irene Merryweather's Cable Chronicle Biography. In it, we see where he's come from... where he's been... along with plenty of the how's and why's of his current mission, and a reminder of his pressing date with Apocalypse. It always comes back to Apocalypse. Who else is getting all psyched up for this final battle?!

Well, readers of Cable's solo book weren't the only ones getting jazzed about seeing Nate and En Sabah slappin' meat -- because, the epic barnburner of a final battle... sorta-kinda... get usurped by the X-Offices to payoff the long danglin' and lingerin' Twelve storyline. Rather than allow Casey's build and prep to pay off in dramatic fashion... the X-Offices did what they do best. The story Cable had been building toward since forever, was taken away... and handed off to:

Oh dear.

In the two years that led up to this barnburner of an issue, the readers really got to know Nathan Summers. We saw him grounded in a more mundane setting, surrounded by a non-mutant cast of characters who he'd formed bonds at attachments to. Cable, as a series, for the first time ever, had a reason to exist (creatively). The payoff? Marvel ditches the direction, brings back the "classic" look and feel -- and delivers us an issue that was so tragic and pointless, that to this very day, I'm fairly certain nobody's accepted the credit or blame for writing the thing!

The quick of it is... the issue opens with Cable strapped to a great big "X" while Apocalypse talks at him... then, 750 pages later, it ends with... Cable strapped to a great big "X" while Apocalypse talks at him. During the middle of the issue, our man breaks free... spends most of his time fighting off Wolverine (who was then the Horseman Death) -- before the big showdown. The blowoff is a handful of full-page pinup spreads of Cable and Apocalypse bouncing off each other.

A terrible issue. Though, it's hard to even blame anybody involved in it for the let down! The event that this series had been building to for years was relegated into being just "Part Two" of the wider X-Men The Twelve storyline. The story couldn't be anything more than what it was. A circular, pointless disappointment. More important than all that, around the time of this issue's production, Rob Liefeld did suffer the loss of his father.

All that having been said... I feel that the impact of Casey and Ladronn's time on the title cannot (and should not) be understated. Joe Casey took a character who was basically deep-fried and pickled 1991... and made him "matured him" for a post-2000 audience. Ironically enough, writing the sort of stories that Image Comics themselves would be putting out not too long after!

--

For more Image-centric chatter both from back in the long ago to today -- please check out the rest of the #SBTU crew!

Between The Pages Blog
Killer Walking Dead Cakes
https://www.betweenthepagesblog.com/2022/05/killer-walking-dead-cakes.html

Comics, Comics, Blog: 
Image Comics: Remembering my early days
https://comicscomicscomics.blog/?p=1845

In My Not So Humble Opinion
Astro City: That Was Then…

Jesse Starcher - Source Material
Darker Image!!!
https://www.spreaker.com/episode/49802624

Asterisk 51
Better Late Than Never: Spawn #1
https://asterisk51.blogspot.com/2022/05/better-late-than-never-spawn-1.html

Superhero Satellite
Dawn Of Image: Inking The Deal, The Dave Olbrich Tapes
https://charltonhero.wordpress.com/2022/05/18/super-blog-team-up-image-comics-the-road-to-revolution-shs-episode-3/

Comic Stripped
Term Life
https://t.co/i2jS0h6oyS

Dave's Comics Heroes Blog
Big Bang Comics
https://davescomicheroes.blogspot.com/2022/05/images-big-bang-comics.html

Chris is on Infinite Earths
Cable Eats a Bagel: the de-imagification of Nathan Dayspring Askani’Son Summers
https://www.chrisisoninfiniteearths.com/?p=37220 - You're already here!

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Uncanny X-Men #401 (2002)

Uncanny X-Men 401

Uncanny X-Men #401 (January, 2002)
"Golden: A Silent Interlude"
Writer - Joe Casey
Pencils - Ron Garney
Inks - Mark Morales
Colors - Hi-Fi Design
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Saida Temafonte
Edits - Powers, Franco, Quesada
Pres - Bill Jemas
Cover Price: $2.25

Hey yo

While I'm on a brief hiatus from X-Lapsed, I've decided to kinda-sorta go back to my "roots" as a fake-ass comics content creator... maybe rediscover my love for this process, and hopefully find some bliss in order to press on with the endeavor.

But, what to write about? Is there anything I can write about that... I dunno, might help to expand the world of X-Lapsed? That might help to back-up any outrageous claims I may have made on the air? Or, maybe something X'y... but from an era I haven't spent a lot of time talking to death just yet?

Well, howsabout... some of the above? Now, if you've been listening to the show... okay, okay... who am I kidding, of course you haven't been -- but, if'n ya were, you might recall that I recently covered a story that I referred to as being the WORST X-Men story I'd ever read. That story was... X-Men Green by Gerry Duggan, which appeared in something like 45 installments of Marvel's X-Men Unlimited Infinity Comic.

It was preachy, it was unfunny... I'm tellin' ya, it's up there among the worst X-Men comics ever put to (digital) paper. And, I mean, if you've followed this blog for any length of time (going back to when it actually WAS a blog and not just a repository for my audio links), you'll know that I try to veer away from hyperbole in my writing and editorializing. I try to ride the fence and give the benefit of the doubt more often than not... and, indeed I tried going that route with X-Men Green... until it beat me into submission.

Now, why am I saying any of this? And what does X-Men Green have to do with anything? Well, ever since covering it, I've been on something of a personal "quest"... fighting off my hyperbolic comments... trying to find WORSE stories in X-Men history.

And, for awhile, I was comin' up empty. That is, until I refreshed my memory on the book we're about to discuss today.

This issue, my friends... well, I'd say it "speaks for itself", but -- well, it's a NUFF SAID issue, so it kinda doesn't... and that's one of the bigger problems with it. Notice that I said "one of" the problems... because, boy howdy - it doesn't stop there.

Now, if you're newer to comics, or lapsed from comics, or have wisely selectively blocked NUFF SAID Month from your memory, I have spoken about it on the air during the Giant-Size X-Men: Jean Grey & Emma Frost episode of X-Lapsed... which I'd recently collected into a giant-size great big compilation episode of the X-Lapsed Triple-Dip. If you're interested in checking it out, click the pic below!

X-Lapsed Triple Dip Giant-Size X-Men

Now, with the shilling and stage-setting out of the way... howsabout I quit with the vampin' and make with the unfunny spoilin' of a twenty-year old (Jeez, where did my life go) book?

--

We open with our man, Sean Cassidy pourin' one out for the recently deceased Moira MacTaggert. Ooookay, if you're a current year X-Fan, this might require a bit of x-planation. I mean, Hickman did a good job making the Moira-ness of his story "fit" and "work", but if all's you know of Moira is that she's a mutant with the power to come back to life over and over again... resetting the timeline with each death -- well, this here is the fallout of her pre-HoXPoX "dead is dead" death. Sean Cassidy, Banshee, and she had an on-again/off-again romantic entanglement... and so, our man was hit pretty hard when she faked her death using a Shi'ar Golem or whatever the hell it was. We'll follow his breakdown throughout this issue... and also chat about what the original wardrobe for this breakdown was gonna be when we're thru! From here, we get our... ahem, Single-Page Spread of ROLL CALL and Cred (only three of the six characters featured actually appear)... which, kinda breaks the rules of the NUFF SAID! gimmick... but, I mean... who cares, right?

From here, we shift scenes over to, what the included script refers to as a "medieval-style castle", which... sure, why not? Here, we see the not-yet unmutanted Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, joined by the new-look "movie-handsome" Toad... as they are approached by... umm, some dark-haired woman. Who dat? Well, we'll get there in a sec...

But first, whoever this is needs to (literally) swap spit with ol' Mortimer. Like... furreal... this is one sloppy wet kiss. Like, I could almost gag looking at it. Magneto then appears... and the gal is run through with a spear.

Buuuut, then we find out that... it was allllll an illllllllusion. Ya see, gang, this is Lady Mastermind... and she's been captured by... uh, some uniformed dudes? Okay, now if you were reading the X-Books back in ye' old 2002, you might be saying: "But Chris, you handsome idiot - I thought Lady Mastermind had blawnde hair... and she was just (as in the week before this book came out) in an issue of X-Treme X-Men." Now, if you were to say that... I'd respond with, "Wow, you've got a mighty impressive memory!" and I would also suggest that, with such care and respect for continuity across titles, that perhaps our current-year crew of X-Men Editors have figured out the secret of time-travel. And, oh by the way... these soldiers, believe it or not... are Jamie Madrox. Never mind that their faces don't look alike (and the fact that they just look like The Manhunters from DC)... just take my (and the included script's) word for it.

Anyway, we follow the Manhuntdroxes (the same ones? other ones? - who knows?) into a gas-cloud-filled hallway, where one of 'em... either shoots into an empty room or... no, that's exactly what it looks like he did. Anyway, this room is apparently where Mystique is... was... might be being held prisoner. It's nice of her captors to provide a name plate for her door (does that break the NUFF SAID! rule?)! That's captivity in style!

So, everybody havin' fun so far? No? Well... it's about to get even better/worse, because our next stop is Chappaqua -- ya know, that small city in New York where the Clintons bought a home so that Hillary could run for Senate in the state? That's... not an "outta nowhere" political comment, by the way -- one of the Clintons is about to show up in the book. And yeah, it's as dumb as it sounds. Dumber, in fact!

Okay, so... we're in Chappaqua... with Wolverine. He breaks into the Clinton home, where he finds the security detail all laying about with huge (satisfied) smiles on their faces... and (no joke) likely a desperate need for a change of drawers. I promise I'm not joking.

Because, ya see... Logan's on the trail of our newest X-Man... Stacy-X - who... um, broke into the Clinton compound with the express purpose of helping Bill bust a n... err, have an orga... hmm... uh, "sleep comfortably"? And, by the looks of it... she was successful. Thankfully, Garney isn't drawing with any semblance of hyper-realism... because, I mean... nevermind. Let's forget this happened. Actually... first, I'm gonna make you look at the panel... then, we can forget this happened.

You might be asking yourself... why in the bluest of hells did we need a scene like this? Well, the answer to that question is two-fold... sadly, neither of those folds make any sense. Ya see, this wasn't originally going to be Bill Clinton unwittingly getting his rocks off... the script originally called for this to be Stacy coaxing some fluids outta Rudy Giuliani (those pages of script aren't included in the issue... but, I've tracked 'em down - and I'll share 'em down below). But, well... this issue came out in December, 2001... just a couple months after the attacks... and so, Rudy was seen as "America's Mayor" at that point -- so, they changed it to Clinton. Now, you might be asking what that "other fold" of the two-fold x-planation might be... and, uh... honestly, so am I! Oh, hey, look - Stacy's here!

And, well... we get a fight scene... that just stops. Next we know, Wolverine and Stacy are hanging out watching TV. Okay then... that totally makes the Presidential spunk scene worthwhile, dunnit? Anyway, Nightcrawler BAMFs into the room, and gets in Stacy's face. Why? Who knows... and, well... I know I'm not the funniest dude in the world, but I can't even think of something UNfunny to say here.

Oh Lord, we're only halfway thru...

The scene continues to play out... Wolverine pulls Kurt aside and motions for Stacy to stay quiet. Why? Who knows! In any event, Nightcrawler appears to be okay with whatever it is Logan told him... and so, he leaves. Maybe he knew Bubba was pent up and needed a release? It can't be easy bein' Bill...

From here, we shift over to Operation: Dumbo Drop... where, the Blob is carried to the X-Corps HQ via helicopter. But, why? Again, who knows? I think the helicopters are being flown by Madroxes... but, honestly - I wouldn't bet a thin dime on it. Anyway, he arrives, and is led inside by a pair of unrecognizable fellows. Hey, at least we can tell who the Blob is, right? Apparently, these two Blob flankers are Avalanche and Radius. I'd wager that most X-Fans are at least somewhat familiar with Avalanche from his time as Pyro's pal in Freedom Force and what-not. But, Radius? Well, he's a bit of a deep-cut. Ya see, he's from Volume Two of Alpha Flight... which, to me, is still some of the finest Alpha Flight ever put to paper. Anyway, it was alluded to there that Radius was/is related to Unus the Untouchable. He's given the wrong hair color here, which I could only assume is a result of our colorist thinking he was supposed to be Banshee?

Speaking of Banshee, Ol' Dukes is led into his... office? Board Room? Dining Hall? Whatever it is, it's full of X-Men busts... and, Blob does NOT look happy to be there.

This, mercifully, takes us to our ending. Banshee bellows at the Blob, kayoing him... and, closes out by, uh, sinisterly smiling at the camera?

--

So.

That was Uncanny X-Men #401. What'dja all think? It's quite the issue, innit? Is it as horrid as X-Men Green? Well... yes and no. I mean, it's so tragic that I wouldn't be at all surprised if FEMA were called in to deal with it -- but, it's so batspit insane that it transcends being "just a bad comic".

I think to properly contextualize (at least to the best of my abilities) this issue, we need to look at exactly what was going on in the X-Men and the world back in mid-2001 (when I assume/hope this was written... for reasons we'll discuss in a bit). Marvel Comics was under the rule of Bill Jemas and Joe Quesada. I'm on record as saying that this was probably one of the more exciting times to be a comic book fan. Jemas and Quesada did a lot to bring Marvel back from the brink of bankruptcy... both financially and creatively. They were smart enough to leave good things alone (at least at the start), but also knew when a change of direction was needed for certain titles/franchises.

Case(y) in point, the X-Men. When Jemas and Quesada took over from Bob Harras, the X-Books were back under the purview and vision of Chris Claremont. This was... something of a misfire. It was an impossible position... to be honest, and I felt bad for Claremont almost immediately. He was basically tasked with competing with... himself. The Claremont of the 1980's was not who we got at the turn of the century. And, well, in hindsight, it was probably (read: definitely) unfair of the fandom to assume we would.

What we did get was... something different. Seemingly purposefully different... which, is, unfortunately, not what anybody wanted. The Claremont "Revolution" X-Men was this odd amalgam of "new" and "old". New concepts... that, weren't ever going to be properly fleshed out (Ruhmembuh the Neo?), with a writing style that was at least two-generations removed from sounding timely or "with it". The old Claremontisms of characters standing around and loudly introducing themselves at one another - "Face me, Villain - for I AM STORM!" or "My name, dear [bad guy] is Elisabeth Braddock - though, YOU may call me PSYLOCKE!" - it was cringingly bad stuff.

So, enter the new regime -- and an all-new take on our X-Men. Claremont would be shifted over to his own sandbox with X-Treme X-Men... where, some of our favorites could continue to loudly introduce themselves to each other, while (adjectiveless) X-Men was retitled New X-Men and given over to Grant Morrison, and Uncanny would wind up in the hands of Joe Casey.

Now, why am I spending so much time setting the stage? Well, a) I think it's necessary, and b) I'm almost certainly vamping so I don't have to give my deeper thoughts about this issue quite yet.

Since this IS Uncanny, let's talk Joe Casey's time on the book. Casey wasn't new to the X-Books, and in fact had (relatively) recently wrapped up a highly acclaimed run on Cable. Joe Casey (and Jose Ladronn)'s Cable was an absolute (and unexpected) highlight of the late-90's X-Books. Never before had Cable been so humanized and relatable. Casey was building the book up for its big Millennial payoff... and the "final" battle between Nathan and Apocalypse. That is, before Marvel nyoinked both the rug and story away, and gave us the abominable Twelve storyline. That reminds me, has anybody actually taken credit for writing Cable #75 yet? Eh, nevermind, that's a story for another day...

So, when Joe Casey was announced as taking over Uncanny... many of us were quite excited. The comics press of the day (read: Wizard) assumed that between Casey's Uncanny and Morrison's New, we were stood at the precipice of a new Golden Age for the X-Men... and, well... they were half-right.

It seemed like for the months leading up to the launch, we'd get barraged with interviews from the new X-Arbiters... and, while Grant always seemed to come across as being rather reserved about his plans - Casey was more "in your face" about how "evolutionary" and "envelope-pushing" his run was going to be. I'll just let him tell it...

"The book's about evolution. Aside from the actual storylines, the book itself should be the evolution of comics."

"This is what mainstream comics should be doing."

"When this stuff comes out... people are going to be imitating it for the next couple of years."

"It's our job to be completely ahead of the curve as much as we possibly can, to push every direction just as far as we can."

We... well, I can't speak for X-Fandom as a whole... hell, the current-year X-Fandom refuses to acknowledge I even exist! So, I can only speak for myself when I say - I was excited to see where Joe Casey would take the book.

And, well... then the books started to come out. And, while they weren't bad by any stretch (until this issue), they certainly weren't "evolutionary" or anything that was worthy of imitation. It was a fairly conservative book... especially when compared with its actually progressive, envelope-pushing, and genre-redefining Grant Morrison-penned sister-book.

The Casey run, up to this point, was... another take on the Mutant Massacre (this time in London!), Chamber entering into a romance with a pop-star (totally not the same thing as when Cannonball was getting with Lila Cheney), and... the Vanisher selling drugs? Okay. Like I said, not the worst ideas... but, falling just a hair (or entire toupee) short of expectations.

Looks like Joe was saving all his "worst ideas" for this issue. This was an issue whose story kind of preceded itself. Does that sentence make even an ounce of sense? Probably not... but, bear with me. If you know nothing else about this issue (which is to say, if you skipped my entire spoilery synopsis and hopped down here), you might still know about the controversy surrounding it's earliest teaser images. You'll probably have heard that Banshee and his X-Corps were adorned in Nazi-regalia... but, you may not have actually seen (or seen in awhile) those... problematic sketches.

Well, how y'all like these apples:

Banshee X-Corps

I tell ya what, it's probably been every bit of twenty years since I'd last seen that. In fact, I spent the better part of an hour trying to find it just now... I actually wound up finding it on, of all things, and ancient GEOCITIES page (ancient... Geocities, redundant much?). Anyway, I'd forgotten quite how "in your face"... and stupidly misguided it was. Sure, this was in days days of Web 1.0, and less in the way of fashionable social media outrage... but, even so -- this is a bit much, dontchathink? THIS was what "mainstream comics should be doing"? This is, what "comics will imitate for the next few years"? Welp, since that wasn't the case, I truly think we're in the right timeline.

Thankfully cooler (and wiser) heads prevailed... and we didn't get Nazi-Banshee. Lord knows he'd never be able to shake that stink off. It'd be like Hank Pym smackin' his wife or Speedy... well, doing smack! I just can't believe it was ever on the table in the first place... and actually got sketched up. I gotta wonder how the notes to the artist actually read. Did it just say "Make him a Nazi"... or "Nazi him up real good"? I couldn't imagine.

Speaking of bad ideas... let's move on to the most bewildering scene in the issue... and perhaps in the near-sixty years of X-Men comics... Stacy X bustin' Bill Clinton's... err, um... I apologize, that's disgusting. Stacy X providing relief to Bill Clinton. Now, I feel like I'm playing social media BINGO here... we've got Nazis, and here we have... I dunno, can we use the "r" word? I mean, I didn't see Bubba give his consent. I feel weird even discussing it... so, we'll just leave that bit there.

Howsabout we look at the proposed-Giuliani-ness of the script. Now, I mentioned in the synopsis that this was originally supposed to be, then New York City Mayor, Rudy Giuliani in the role of the unwitting orgasmer. I can only assume that the script was written pre-9/11 and changed after. Though, with Mr. Casey... he may've written this post-9/11, and was making an attempt at edginess by slighting "America's Mayor".

Below I will be including the pages of script that Marvel put in the back of the physical issue... which, unfortunately ends before the Bill Clinton scene. We would have to go to the prehistoric Marvel web-site for the remaining pages. Those pages, however, are long gone. After a bit of digging, however, I managed to find the pages in question. And, as if Joe Casey hasn't already made quite the twat of himself... let's check these out (bolded emphasis mine):

PAGE ELEVEN

TWO PANELS

Panel 1.

Inside the bedroom now. Candlelight causes eerie, flickering lighting. Angle on the door, carefully being pushed open by Wolverine, who is already taking a cautious step into the bedroom. He's already seeing something off-panel that puts a look of extreme disappointment on his face.

Panel 2.

Big panel on the page. Wolverine's POV, looking into the master bedroom of the mansion (so it's pretty big). Candles lit all over the room. Lots of shadows. Zooming in on the king-size bed, which is completely trashed. Drenched with sweat. Sheets wadded up at the foot of the bed, pillows ripped apart, feathers leaking out. There are night tables on either side of the bed (upon one is a beeper/pager that you might want to establish here). In the middle of the bed, completely laid out on his back, spread eagle like a sexual slave, is Rudolph Giuliani (since this is the silent issue, we can get away with this if we're smart about it... not naming him by name, try to get his likeness as close as possible. Those in the know should absolutely get the joke... the one or two X-Men readers who might be at all politically aware...). Giuliani is wearing only boxer shorts, a torn wife-beater T-shirt and his designer dress shoes. He's also wearing one of those "sleep blindfolds" that rich people sometimes wear (why, you might ask? Because even though we're not naming names, I've been told we need to be very careful with the Guliani likeness... thus, the blindfold partially hides his face). He's so whacked out, he doesn't even know where he is. He's got a dizzy smile on his face. Some serious sexual stuff has been going on in this bedroom...

PAGE TWELVE

FIVE PANELS

Panel 1.

Wolverine walks over to the bed, in the flickering candlelight. Giuliani doesn't even register his presence. Wolverine is looking down at the Mayor, disgusted.

Panel 2.

Small panel. Angle on the beeper/pager on the night table, which is now vibrating and lighting up.

Panel 3.

Another small panel. Wolverine's head whipping around as the beeper (off-panel here, obviously) gets his attention. The candlelight flickering on his face.

Panel 4.

The beeper in the foreground, at the bottom of the panel. Wolverine above it, looking down at it, reaching down with one hand to pick it up. The shadows of the room in the background behind him.

Panel 5.

Wide panel. Action shot. Wolverine (now holding the beeper) in the foreground, whirling around as Stacy X (wearing her skimpy X-uniform) leaps out of the shadows in a kung-fu style kick. She looks pissed off. Wolverine doesn't look surprised at all... he was waiting for her to make her move.

Okay, so - this confirms a couple of things. a) Rudy was the original orgasmer, and b) Joe Casey thinks very little of his audience! Now, I'll admit to being denser than most... hell, that's almost one of my catchphrases at this point... but, here's the thing: why in the world is this in an issue of X-Men? Did Joe Casey just really wanna make a comment about Rudy Giuliani's marriage falling apart while he was in office... and couldn't have jammed it into one of his more transgressive works? And if so... why keep the scene when Rudy was taken off the table?

Like, what did this prove... that we didn't already know about Stacy-X? We know she's an orgasm-facilitator... we know she worked at a Mutant Brothel... was this scene necessary? I mean, I'm no prude or nothin', but this just comes across as high school-level "comedy". Like, was there a single soul who saw this scene, and even... I dunno, smirked? Half-smiled? Did one of those "inhale-snort" laughs to themselves? Doubt it. It was stupid... it was immature... and, all it did was make it so the Chuck Austen run that followed could be viewed more favorably in retrospect... and, that my friends, is unforgiveable.

I suppose the fact that I've been writing and researching this piece since 5:30am (it's currently about 10:30), tells me that... well, I've been writing and researching this piece for about four hours too many. Wow, sure said a lot of words about a book with NO WORDS in it! And, hell... I'm not even gonna waste your time going into the Lady Mastermind boner!

Anyway, I'll wrap it up here -- and thank you all for reading. Here's some "Not the Letters Page" back-matter...

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(Not the) Letters Page:

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Wildcats Version 3.0 #1 (2002)


Wildcats Version 3.0 #1 (October, 2002)
"brand building"
Writer - Joe Casey
Pencils - Dustin Nguyen
Inks - Richard Friend
Colors - Larry Molinar & Randy Mayor of WildStormFX
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft
Editor - John Layman
Cover Price: $2.95

Still in a bit of a WildStormy mood... today we'll be looking at a series which, as it was hitting the shelves, was almost constantly being touted as being "ahead of its time".

Let's see if it fits in better... some 16 years later!

--


We open in Vietnam, where Cole Cash is crashing a hoi-poloi party on behalf of Jack Marlowe's Halo Corporation.  He offers his card to a Truong Chi Linh to discuss "something like" manufacturing needs... more on this in a bit.  After a brief shot of Marlowe flying through space, we settle on a scene wherein an Agent Wax gets his job back with the National Park Service... but it placed on desk duty.  More on him in a bit too!


Wax looks... well, pretty indifferent, actually.  He leaves Agent Downs' office and heads... to the cubical farm.  It's only here that he shows a little bit of emotion.  It sure doesn't look like he's happy to be back!


We shift scenes to the Halo Corporation in Los Angeles, and Jack Marlowe has just arrived.  He holds a meeting with his staff, during which he expresses the importance of "building the brand" to better the world... something his predecessor, Jacob Marlowe didn't find too important.  Worth mentioning, "Jack Marlowe" is an identity taken on by former WildC.A.T.S: Covert Action Teams leader, Spartan.


Jack describes Halo's goal as "conquest of the free world... figuratively speaking, of course"... which, not gonna lie, sounds a bit ominous.  Speaking of ominous, we hop back over to Vietnam, where Cash has just thrown a female assassin out a window.


Grifter calls in to Halo and demands a body-slide back to his hotel... which he gets immediately, much to his embarrassment.  Ya see, Cole isn't exactly dressed... or dressed at all, really!


After an awkward elevator ride, Cole heads back to his room... and suits up for work.


Elsewhere, Agent Wax infiltrates a top secret area in order to find out some information regarding a missing FBI Agent... ya see, he's kinda working for Marlowe and Halo on the down-low.


Back in Los Angeles, Marlowe informs an accounting firm that he just bought them outright.  They attempt to counsel him on running the corporation, and suggest going public.  Jack says no dice, Halo will always be privately-owned.  Then the concern about some "questionable" practices being employed in some factories in Vietnam... to which, he says he's already looking into it.


In fact, our next stop is back to Vietnam, where Grifter is "meeting" with that Truong Chi Linh from earlier.  Ya see, this guy uses child labor to keep prices down, a big no-no.  Chi Linh pushes the blame back on the Americans for actually hiring him to run the factory the way he does.  Can't say he isn't completely without a point.  Grifter lets the child-labor-force beat the crap out of their old boss before body-sliding out.  I'm guessing we're not supposed to worry about what happens next?


We shift scenes to a Washington, D.C. Superhero Sex Club (this is Joe Casey, after all) where some bad stuff just went down.  Just then, Agent Wax of the National Park Service shows up to investigate the scene.


Well, he's "officially" here to hand off some information on the perpetrator... which, as his contact tells him, could've been done via email.  Wax receives a call from Agent Downs... who ain't happy to find out his new-hire is back in "the field", especially when he'd been tossed on desk-duty for the moment.  Wax apologizes... and hails a cab driven by a dude with sinister eyes.


Wax is dropped off at Capital City Brewery, where he meets up with... Cole Cash.  Wax explains the situation regarding the missing FBI Agent to Cash... and informs him that Marlowe has made that their top priority.  They discuss what "specific agenda" ol' Jack might have... and after performing some research on the Halo Corporation, Wax doesn't seem to be all that comfortable.


Next, we're off to the Florida Keys... where a Mr. Carver is escorted by a pair of heavily-armed guards to meet with a C.C. Rendozzo.  He hands over a disc with information regarding the missing FBI Agent... and claims his bounty for the gig.  Rendozzo then reveals that not only did she put the bounty out for the info... she's actually claiming the bounty on Carver's own head!  So, yeah... she blows his brains out... and keeps her cash!  Seems like she has personal reasons for seeking out this information.


We wrap up with a commercial for Halo-branded batteries... batteries that last forever!


--

I like this... like it a lot, though I can definitely see why it might've been under-appreciated back in 2002.  Not so much that it was "ahead of its time", but it just defied expectations.  I mean, this is the same title that was part of the bombastic and "extreme" Image launch back in 1992.  Version 3.0 is a completely different animal... while (rather creatively) remaining true to its roots.

Thinking back to the turn of the century... this isn't nearly as "novel" as I recall.  Seemed like a lot of books (from WildStorm especially) were built upon corporate intrigue... and shadowy pseudo-government agencies.  This is really just more of that, but I will say, it's done exceptionally well.

The missing FBI Agent plot seems like it will be the focus of this first arc... and it's as good a plot as any.  I definitely appreciate how far-reaching it was depicted to be... seems there's a lotta folks with a vested interest in finding them.

There isn't much more to say... because, at the moment most of what we've got is breadcrumbs.  They're interesting, to be sure... and certainly more engaging than those we'd gotten in the first issue of the first series.  I'd say the only thing I was kinda "ehh" with was, Grifter leaving those poor children beating up old whatshisface.  I mean, what happens next?  Do they just... disperse?  Go back to work?  Get abducted?  Who knows?!

Everything else though?  I'm on board!  I dig Jack trying to use the Corporation to make the world a better place... even if he's not entirely altruistic with the gesture.  Of the few things I remember about this volume is that there are everlasting batteries.  I don't remember what happens with them, but that's stuck with me... and I'm looking forward to seeing what goes down.

Overall, I'd say this is definitely worth checking out.  Worth noting, the art is pretty fantastic... and even though Agent Wax and Grifter are both broad-shouldered dudes with blonde hair... I was able to tell them apart each time (I was initially afraid I'd get them mixed up).  This issue (and series) is available digitally... at only a buck-a-piece.

--

(Not the) Letters Page:


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Interesting Ads:


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