Action Comics #806 (October, 2003)
"Hungry Ghost, Part One: Blood, Broads and Bushido"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Penciller - Pascual Ferry
Inker - Cam Smith
Guest Art - Karl Kerschl
Colorist - Guy Major
Letters - Comicraft
Associate Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.25
You see that on the horizon?
That be the finish line for our #Action100 Endeavor, because, dear reader, we are in the "home stretch". Heck, we've already lapped the "home stretch" as today we are about to begin the, a-hem, penultimate installment!
That's right... this is our 99th discussion of Action Comics... and, perhaps most shockingly... we're right on time!
Barring my being hit by a bus, our 100th discussion will be this Wednesday... April 18th, the 80th Anniversary of Superman and the release date of Action Comics #1000!
Now let's learn some street magic, yo.
--
We open in the gentrified Suicide Slum. Remember this is "City of Tomorrow/Y2K"Metropolis... so even the worst parts of town have a neat hi-tech sheen to 'em. In one of the apartments is Traci 13... or Girl 13... or Girl¹³... who knows. Anyhoo, she's chatting with, I wanna say her father, about what she's been up to since arriving in Metropolis. She's met Superboy... and, well, that's about it. Worth mentioning she has a large iguana named Leroy... and very odd undergarments. She is advised to ixnay her agicmay... and maybe get a job.
We follow her around town as she goes about her morning (I think it's morning) routine. While out she overhears a couple of passionate sports fans talking about their favorite team. This appears to annoy her greatly, so she wriggles her nose and forces them to kiss. That's pretty mature.
Suddenly screams fill the air... Traci turns around to see what's up and finds Superman splatted into the ground, with a spear run through his chest! She rushes over to check on him, and magicks up a green whirlwind to whisk them to the safety of the underground.
We shift scenes to Second-Lady Lana Lang... is that what we call the Vice-President's Wife? Second-Lady? I suppose I could Google it, but I don't want to find out that that's not what we call them. Anyhoo, she's hunting for an apartment in Metropolis... which she claims will be used for "retreats" for her "Foundation". Lois-on-the-spot smelled news, and so, she's there too. Worth noting, Lois looks like she miiiiight be 16 here.
Lois knows there must be more to this story than that, and decides to pry as best she can. Lana finally lets it slip that she and Pete are getting a divorce. She then requests that it be kept "off the record".
We shift scenes again... this time to John Henry Irons' Steelworks. This is post-"Our Worlds At War", so the man himself is dead... for now. We join his niece Natasha, who is chizzatting with her rewizzired rizzobot Kelex. It's pretty cringy stuff here... and since this was writting in the early 2000's, I'm not sure much of it is meant to be ironic.
Kelex rizzeccomends that Natasha try to pick up her Uncle's hammer... which she is surprised to learn she is able to do! The hammer than proceeds to speak... letting out a "Hammer Time", which makes her cringe just as hard as I've been cringing these last two pages!'
We shift scenes over to The Daily Planet where Jubilee considers hitting "send" on the Lana Lang/Pete Ross article. Wait... that's not Jubilee... that's Lois! I'm tellin' ya, this could be any high school intern! Anyhoo, she thinks back to a chat she had with Clark in bed... thankfully, she looks "of age" in the flashback... and decides that she's going to publish.
And so, we check back in with Lana... whose beans have just been spilled. She is greatly displeased, and is trying to spin the story best she can.
Suddenly, Traci 13 and Superman appear at her (Lana's) feet. Traci didn't know where else to go... and since she saw Superman and Lana on the news, figured this might be her best bet. She also needs nutmeg... and since Lana is in full Bree Vandecamp mode here, Traci figures she just might have some.
Back to the Steelworks, and the Hammer is still reading John Henry's recorded message to Natasha. He wants her to go to college, become a doctor or lawyer... anything but a superhero. He also knows her well enough that she'll probably try her hand at heroing anyway. And so, he's created something special for her.
Back at Lana's, Traci 13 is trying to get into Superman's head to see who or what put him in such a state. We hop into a flashback... Superman is taking care of a group of ninja-flavored nogoodniks. When the dust settles, he saves a woman who is about to be garroted... only for her to slump to the ground anyway. This distraction proves to be enough for Gaki, a "hungry ghost" to impale him with her staff.
We wrap up with Natasha Irons in her brand new Steel costume arriving... and insisting that Traci 13 back the eff off.
--
Well... this was, uh, weird... right?
I suppose we should just addrizzess the elephizzant in the rizzoom right off the bizzat. There was some scarily-cringy dialogue in here... and the thing of it is, I'm not sure if it's meant to be! I mean, if this book were to come out today... then, yeah... this is definitely "for the laughs". Back in 2003, though? I'm not so sure. I really wish I could remember how I "received" this issue back when it first released.
Another thing worth mentioning (again)... man, did Lois look young here. I swear I thought that was Jubilee in the Daily Planet scene... complete with bubble gum! That's gotta be one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to shared-universe storytelling... lack of consistency in character appearance. Anything from hair length to body type... when the characters drastically change in appearance (and back again) from chapter-to-chapter, it just bugs the hell out of me. I know Lois didn't look like a teenager in all of the books at this time. Then again, by the turn of the century, character bibles and "style sheets" were probably already considered a passe relic.
It seems like this is kind of a throwaway story... doesn't quite feel like it belongs in Action Comics. Though, when I look at the last page of the book, there's an advertisement for the launch of Superman/Batman... which is clearly where all of the "important" things are going to be happening for the next little while. I suppose that allowed the regular "Super Team" to flex their storytelling muscles a bit... and explore not-so Super-centric story threads. That's fair enough, I suppose.
Overall... this is a weird one to recommend. Despite the characters not being completely "on model", the art here is pretty great. If you're in the mood for a Superman-flavored story that isn't necessarily about Superman, this might just be worth a shot.
That's it for today... but remember to check back Wednesday (4/18) when we finally cross the #Action100 finish line!
--
Interesting Ads:
807
Action Comics #836 (April, 2006)
"Superman This is your Life, Part Two"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Pencillers - Dan Jurgen, Dick Giordano, Ed Benes, Ian Churchill, Phil Jimenez, Tom Derenick, Renato Guedes, Lee Bermejo & Doug Mahnke
Inkers - Kevin Conrad, Jose Marzan, Norm Rapmund, Andy Lanning & Drew Geraci
Colorists - Guy Major, Dave Stewart Renato Guedes
Letterer - Nick J. Napolitano
Assistant Editor - Jeanine Schaefer
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.50
Sometimes we can get a little too "close" to our comics. For the longest time, this was a Superman story I couldn't bring myself to reread.
I mean, as comics readers (or fans of any consumable entertainment/media), I think we've all experienced that feeling where we have an idea where a story is headed... and knowing that we're powerless to stop it. That's how I felt reading this back in 2005-2006.
I remember the first time I heard (in comics) that a Crisis was on its way. It was an issue of Teen Titans by Geoff Johns... and from that point on, my DC-reading fell into sort of a fog. I wasn't around for the first Crisis... so this was really my first time not feeling "safe" as a DC Comics fan.
Of course, these days that almost seems quaint. DC is getting just as bad as Marvel when it comes to reboots/relaunches/re-whatevers... and the industry has become so knee-jerk reactionary that I can't even remember the last time I felt "safe".
Anyhoo... this issue (and the story it's a part of) comes from a very... shaky time in my (and likely some others') DC fandom. Things were weird... and nebulous at best.
Let's give it a look and see if time has soothed this fan's soul.
--
We open with three... kinda different tellings of Superman's origin story... it's a tale of three Kryptons... three families of El... three rockets, and three sets of Kents. Yeah, there's definitely something weird going on here. It's almost as though we're in the midst of experiencing a... Crisis of sorts. Hmm...
We jump ahead to the events(ish) of Man of Steel #1, where Lois and company are about to crash the "space plane". They find themselves saved by a strange flying man, who upon setting them down gives Lois a peck on the cheek and introduces himself to her as "Superman". Well, that's not right... right?
We briefly pop into the present, and find Superman in the heat of battle with... somebody. This somebody is commenting on the corruption in the world... and is wondering why Superman hasn't done more.
We hop back to the past... this time, it's the first meeting between Superman and Batman. This is a contentious meeting, so clearly post-Crisis. Batman tells Superman if he steps near him, it will set off a bomb that will kill an innocent. Superman calls his bluff, because he knows the bomb is on Batman's person. They agree to team up.
We briefly check in with the Earth-2 Superman, who is holding vigil over the ailing Earth-2 Lois Lane.
Back to the past! We relive an... altered version of Lex Luthor's Kryptonite Ring saga. It starts similarly enough, Lex taunts Superman with the one thing that appears to hurt him. He (Lex) then contracts cancer due to the Kryptonite exposure. Then, on his death-bed, Superman makes Lex an offer he can't refuse... he'll use Kryptonian technology in order to grant Lex a quarter-century of life. Lex accepts.
Then... a couple of versions of Lois Lane learning "the secret". They both end the same way.
Then... Doomsday! It's a greatest hits (pun!) from Superman (vol.2) #75... right up until the ending. Ya see, the titans both land their "finishing blow"... only, this time around Doomsday's punch isn't enough to keep the Man of Steel down.
We jump ahead... though, still in flashback... to the events of Identity Crisis. The satellite-era League is arguing about what they ought to do about Doctor Light. Just as in the original story, half of the team seems a-okay with the mindwipe... and the other half ain't exactly on board. Superman arrives to offer a third alternative. Well, he doesn't so much offer it as "invoke" it. He zaps Doctor Light... and banishes him to the Phantom Zone!
This, somehow, is viewed as the worst option by the League. Mindwiping is totally cool... but Phantom Zoning is "crossing the line". It's not that I disagree, but, c'mon... the League was acting a bit shady in the original Identity Crisis story. It's not like they have all that much room to talk. Anyhoo, the League holds an intervention with the Man of Steel... it seems as though the "Phantom Zone banishment" has become something of a go-to for him. Superman decides to disband the JLA... to which, Zatanna attempts to put Superman "to sleep"... but cannot seem to muster the words.
Then we meet Superman's new running buddies: The Elite. Well, the Justice League Elite.
We wrap up back in Metropolis where Jimmy Olsen and friends are having drinks and trying to ride out the apocalypse. Jimmy tells his pals that Superman has the situation under control... and there's nothing to worry about. Then... something happens.
--
Such an... uncomfortable read.
This entire issue just feels "off", which I suppose is the point. It's like the "fun-house mirror" version of the post-Crisis Superman story. Added the "jam" of artists here... I'm not entirely sure what to make of it.
I get that this is just running alongside the actual Infinite Crisis event book... so things are being left purposely nebulous, but today... just as over a dozen years ago... I really can't talk myself into liking this. Perhaps it is the years of hindsight we now have... or maybe I just never let go of my reboot-bitterness. We've definitely hit, at least in my opinion, the point where these sort of things have diminishing returns.
I think back to the early days of the "Berganza era" and the influx of, what many post-Crisis fans referred to as "S.A.S." (that's Silver Age Sh-tuff)... and how that didn't really bug me. I felt like that was adding something, where I feel like this is only taking away.
Overall... this is a difficult one for me to recommend. I will say, if you do decide to give this a whirl, read the entire three-part story... and not just the middle chapter like we're doing here. It's available digitally, and has been collected in the Superman: Infinite Crisis trade paperback.
--
Interesting Ads:
787
Action Comics #763 (March, 2000)
"Y2K, Part Five: Sacrifice for Tomorrow"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Pencillers - German Garcia & Kano
B13 FX - Tommy Yune, Steve Kim & Ed Roeder
Inker - Marlo Alquiza
Colors - Glenn Whitmore & WildStorm FX
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft
Associate Editor - Maureen McTigue
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $1.99
So, whattayado when you really wanna talk about a certain character... say, that "new" android Hourman we met yesterday... but you've also got this #Action100 Endeavor you're currently working on?
Well, I guess we look for an issue of Action Comics that features Hourman! I'm happy to report that Hourman does appear in this issue... for a whole two panels. Don't worry... both panels will appear in this blog piece.
--
We open on New Year's Eve (or maybe it's New Year's Day)... and Brainic 13 is wrapping the planet... Earth, that is... not "The Daily" in energy conduits. Superman burrows through the planet (again, Earth) and faces off with the bot above the Planet... er, "The Daily", this time. Ya dig? Worth mentioning, they're using a different art style for Brainiac 13... it's this weird polygonal matte look... kinda like a game for the original PlayStation. It looks super-dated now, but perhaps back in 2000 it looked kinda cool. Anyhoo, before they can face off B13 invites Superman to take a look at what he's done with all of the citizens of Metropolis. Superman turns around, and is aghast to find that everyone has been made into a mindless slave!
After Superman gets tossed through a building, we shift scenes to LexCorp, where Lex and his daughter Lena (who has been infected by Brainiac 2.5) are inside a stolen Kryptonian Warsuit. They pow-wow over ways to take down B2.5's upgraded version, B13. Feels like we're playing Bingo, doesn't it?
Back outside, we find Superman and a Kelex robot about to fly toward Brainiac 13. Before they can land a single punch, the Kryptonian Warsuit bursts through B13's chest!
Superman realizes that Luthor is inside the Suit, and suggests they put their differences aside for the moment and work together toward shutting down B13. Lex thinks this idea is positively adorable... and in response, bashes Superman into the pavement.
Superman enters a mindlink with Kelex, and commands it to link up to the Warsuit by any means necessary. Just then, he is attacked by several of DC's highest profile robots! We see Red Tornado, the Metal Men, and our new favorite (and reason we picked this book today), Hourman!
Inside the Warsuit, Lex and Lena trigger an electromagnetic pulse which downs all of the bots. Welp, it was nice seein' ya, Tyler.
Amid the chaos, Kelex attempts to link up with the Warsuit. Superman takes the fight to Brainiac 13... and it doesn't go all that well. Ya see, this is a Brainiac from the future... one who has learned from all of his earlier mistakes. He has run 1,098,288,546 simulations of Superman's death... so, he's more than prepared. And so, he coats the Man of Steel in like molten metal cables... maybe? Kelex, while attempting to link, pleads with Luthor to help save Superman... but he ain't budgin'.
And so, Kelex calls in a revived/unslaved Red Tornado!
At this point, Red Tornado's vortex is causing Brainiac 13's "essence" to be drawn into the Warsuit... and so, an annoyed Lex and Lena disengage and bug out. Kelex informs them both that he was lying about helping them... and that this was the plan all along.
It looks like the day is just about saved. With Brainiac 13 trapped in the Warsuit, the B13 virus begins to dissipate throughout the world... and the human slaves begin to come to.
After checking in with Lois, Superman notices that Metropolis still appears to be infected. He hears something behind him... and turns around to find Lex standing alone... the B13 Warsuit and Lena have disappeared!
We jump ahead one week later and join Lex sitting on an upper floor of the new Lex Tower... he mulls over what happened in that final moment. Ya see, Brainiac 13 made him an offer... he couldn't refuse. He offers up the B13 Virus codes... and the opportunity to be the "King" of the "City of Tomorrow", in exchange for... Lena. Welp, we now know how that turned out.
We wrap up with Superman threatening Luthor... he says he'll find Lena... and ensure Lex pay for what he's done.
--
It's been awhile since I read Y2K... I was nervous to see how well it aged. I'm pretty sure I've made it clear throughout our chats that I do hold a certain fondness for the literal "City of Tomorrow" era of Superman. This is where I came back to the books... actually, the book advertised in the letters page is the one I came back with!
I feel like this was an interesting way to differentiate Metropolis from the rest of the DC Universe... and, I suppose it can be (and has been) argued that the spectacular futuristic city might've taken something away from Superman's "specialness", I found it most inviting... and a welcome shift from the "norm".
The issue itself... was a good one. It's hard to really look at a "part 5 of 5" in a vacuum, but I feel like Kelly did a good enough job catching us up on what we missed in the earlier chapters. I'm actually hoping to do a long-form look at Y2K for an upcoming episode of Weird Comics History, where we would examine that Superman 2000 pitch from Grant Morrison and the gang. Hopefully the stars will align on that sooner than later!
There's a certain quaintness here... that is not the book's fault at all. I mean, let's look at this for a sec. The story is called "Y2K"... I mean, there are 19 year old humans walking the planet that weren't even born yet... who might not grasp exactly what Y2K meant to those of us who were there. All of that "planes will fall out of the sky", "banks are going to lose all of our money", "stock up on canned goods and bottled water" fear and hysteria was a real thing... probably a lot "realer" for some of us than others... but real enough nonetheless. It would be interesting to hand this book to a Millennial and see if they "get it".
While on the subject of "quaintness"... how 'bout that killer CGI? Again, not a fault with the book itself... but it looks just so out of place, doesn't it? I mean, we've always had odd collage pieces in comics... just look at any old Kirby "star field" page... but this feels like it really wanted to be "cutting edge"... when, I mean... even at the turn of the century, it looks dated. Maybe I just can't take my "current year" glasses off, but it looks like something out of Reboot or something... and that show aired... I wanna say, 6-7 years before this. I can't really get mad at it... but felt it was worth mentioning. I'd guess that would be this story arc's "low hanging fruit".
Overall... if you're interested in this story, and how the next "era" of Superman comics kicked off... I'd suggest grabbing the trade paperback collection. It's a (relatively) tight-knit story, and really ought to be read as a whole.
--
(Not the) Letters Page:
--
Interesting Ads:
779
That be the finish line for our #Action100 Endeavor, because, dear reader, we are in the "home stretch". Heck, we've already lapped the "home stretch" as today we are about to begin the, a-hem, penultimate installment!
