Justice League America #45 (1990)

Justice League America #45 (December, 1990)
"A Date With Density, Part Two: Hell on Ice!"
Plot - Keith Giffen
Script - J.M. DeMatteis
Penciller - Russell Braun & Adam Hughes
Inker - John Beatty, Jose Marzan, Jr., & Malcolm Jones III
Letterer - Bob Lappan
Colorist - Gene D'Angelo
Assistant Editor - Kevin Dooley
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $1.00

Heyyy, it's been a little while... but, today we have a request!

Good pal Jody Yerdon (@regalfan) suggested we take a look at this very issue of Justice League America.  He tells me it's his all-time favorite comic!

And as luck would have it, we've already covered the "pre-req" for this issue, way back in the long ago when we read Justice League America #28 (1989), which featured Ice and Guy's first date... with density.

As this is labelled a "Part Two" to that issue... I think we can even toss 'em both onto our "Collected Editions" page!

Big thanks to Jody for the suggestion (and his patience)... at the risk of "spoiling" what's to come... this is one helluva fun issue!  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to revisit it!

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We open with Max Lord and Oberon having a little heart-to-heart conversation.  Ya see, his good buddy Scott Free just came "back to life"... it's a long story, maybe we'll cover it someday... and seeing as though, the Frees are some of the few folks he actually considers "family", he'd really like to spend some time with them.  He tells Max is might be time for him to step back from his responsibilities with the League.  Oberon steps out of Max's office... and right into the usual craziness of the Embassy... including, a quarrel between Guy Gardner and his would-be "main squeeze", Ice.

Looks like this time around, Guy took Ice to the most romantic of spots... a cock-fight.  Last time we accompanied them on a date, it was a skin flick... so, I guess your mileage may vary on what direction the "Guy Gardner's ideal date" needle is moving.  He begs her for one more chance... and after promising to behave... and to let her choose the spot (even crossing his heart and hoping to die) Tora finally comes around.

As they both prepare for their night out, it's revealed that their destination will be... the Ice-Capists!  Bea continually badgers Tora over her decision... and tells her she should reconsider the whole shebang.  Elsewhere in the Embassy, Lightray gives Guy enough rope to hang himself when it comes to describing exactly what "The Ice-Capists" is.  Both excellent (and funny!) scenes.  Speaking of funny scenes, upon arrival to Madison Square Garden we get a one-off line I don't think we'd see in 2018.

Back at the Embassy, Blue Beetle gets wind of the Guy/Tora date... and deduces that it's the perfect time to pull a prank.  Bea isn't on board... so Ted heads off to find Kilowog... who also isn't exactly keen on the idea.  Somewhere (off-panel) Beetle is able to convince them both.

Back at the Garden, The Ice-Capists Show heats up.  Looks to me like they've been visited by the Tamaranean Ice Dancers Federation.

Backstage, Beetle, Bea, and 'Wog are chatting up one of the stagehands.  Ted tells him they've got a big surprise for Guy Gardner's "birthday".  He calls for his manager... and whatever Ted's got planned is okayed.

Outside the main theatre, Guy waits for Ice to finish using the restroom.  Not a very exciting scene, but it does provide this panel... which is definitely worth sharing.

Guy and Tora make it back to their seats just in time for a big announcement... tonight's special attraction will be: Guy Gardner on Ice.  Well, I'm sure that's how Guy wanted the night to end... but, I'm guessing this is isn't quite what he had in mind.

We shift ahead... back to the Embassy where Guy is still in a catatonic state from his pent up anger.  After letting out one great big Garden-shaking scream... he just shut down!

Ice helps him to his room... and thanks him for the nice night.  He actually conducted himself like a proper gentleman... though, going catatonic before the night was through probably helped.  Guy enters his bedroom to find... 

The jig is up, Guy immediately knows that Beetle was behind the whole thing.  As he stomps through the Embassy, the ruckus wakes... Orion, who is none too keen on being awakened.  He blows past Oberon in search of the source of the racket.

We wrap up with Oberon... who stands for a moment and ponders.  He calls out to Bea... who doesn't even hear him over all the craziness.  It's then clear to him that his time with this group of yo-yos in done.

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What a great issue!  They really don't make books like this anymore, do they?

I feel like when people discuss this era of Justice League, they sometimes lose themselves in the "bwah ha ha-iness" of it all.  Or, they just think "heh heh, one punch, heh heh"... but, this issue proves that there is so much more to it than that.  Just look at our open and end... Oberon has to make the decision as to whether or not to remain with the team.  That's some heavier than expected melancholy for a book many folks dismiss as simply being "silly".

Max refers to Oberon as the "heart" of the League... and, when you really think about it... it's hard to argue.  Since this League came to be, Oberon has always been there.  Never really a "prime time player", but integral to the team's dynamic.  Even if he was just the target for an insult... or the provider of one, Oberon was important (and irreplaceable) to this team.

The ending with him walking out the door... without any pomp and circumstance was heartbreaking... and all too real.  I think a lot of us become wrapped up in ourselves... and feel like if we were to, say, quit our jobs... it'd be just as life-changing for our co-workers as it is for us.  Then, reality sets in... and you realize that you're just you... and life doesn't wait around long before "going on".  It's really just you walking out a door.

Okay, well after bumming everyone out... let's talk about Guy Gardner on Ice!  This was a lot of fun... and really showed the strength of J.M. DeMatteis' snappy dialog chops.  I mean, the conversation felt so natural in every situation.  Sometimes I forget just how good this fella is!

Whether it was Fire and Ice talking about whether or not she should do on the date... Guy being razzed by Lightray... Beetle trying to convince his fellow Leaguers to prank Guy... everything felt "snappy" without being "rehearsed".  Today's concept of "realistic" dialog is, unfortunately, whatever we got from a Kevin Smith movie 15 years ago.  "Banter" is definitely among those art forms that has been lost.

The only place this issue kind of struggled was with the unevenness of the art.  It's pretty clear who did what in this issue... because there are some excellent pages... and some, not-so-excellent pages.  Wouldn't say any of it is "bad", but... certainly could've been better.

It's funny, but while flipping through my longbox, I discovered that it's just after this very issue that my "love affair" with this era of the League kinda wanes.  From here we jump into the General Glory mishagoss... get a couple of good issues... then right on into the 700-Part "Breakdowns" crossover.  Such a rapid shift that you could just tell that there was a change on the horizon.

Overall... definitely check this one out!  This is one of those issues... and one of those runs... that I'd say you need to have in your comics library.  Now, you know me... I'm a single-issue (not floppy) kinda dude... but if you can't track it down, I suppooooose you could nab it digitally.

Big thanks again to Jody for the suggestion!  Requests are always welcome here... we love em!  And by "we", I mean "me", because I'm the only one here!

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Justice League America #70 (1993)

Justice League America #70 (January, 1993)
"Funeral For a Friend/Grieving"
Words/Layouts - Dan Jurgens
Finishes - Rick Burchett
Letterer - Willie Schubert
Colorist - Gene D'Angelo
Assistant Editor - Ruben Diaz
Editor - Brian Augustyn
Cover Price: $1.25

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

I was wracking my brain trying to think up an appropriate Thanksgiving-themed review... but came up empty.  It doesn't help that my longboxes are still (mostly) in disarray.  For an actual Thanksgiving-themed discussion and review, check out last year's super-fun JSA #54.

So instead, we're going to discuss an issue that always reminds me of Thanksgiving... likely due to when it hit the stands.

I've told this story before, but these Doomsday-era issues of Justice League were my introduction to the team... and boy was I confused.  These didn't feel like the A-List of the DC Universe... and there was a good reason for that.  It was because of these issues that I decided to eventually start collecting the title, and really kicked off my affection for this "other" Universe of comic book heroes.

Let's check in with them during the "mourning after".

If you're interested, Reggie and I discussed this issue during a recent episode of the Cosmic Treadmill... part of our 25th Anniversary Celebration of The Death of Superman.




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We pick up right where we left off following Superman (vol.2) #75.  Ice and Bloodwynd have arrived just moments too late to help their teammate take down Doomsday.  Ice takes Superman's tattered cape off the post it's been swaying on, and lays it over her fallen comrade.

Meanwhile at the hospital, Booster Gold and Maxima have just gotten word of what has just gone down.  As you might imagine, they're pretty torn up over the whole thing.  Their pity party is interrupted, however, by the arrival of Guy Gardner.  We can see that he's pretty messed up himself by the fact that his bowl haircut has a band-aid on it.  He has a few choice words for Maxima about her would-be Super-mate.

Later, Booster heads into Ted Kord's room where he gets even more bad news.  His bosom buddy is in a coma... and the doctors can't promise that he'll ever come out of it.

Booster, Oberon, and Max exit the room and chat in the hallway.  It's here that we learn that the League isn't just down Superman and Beetle... it's also down Booster!  During the Doomsday Massacre, Booster's costume was shredded beyond repair.  Considering all of his powers derive from the costume, it looks like he's outta luck!

Elsewhere, Fire checks in on Ice... and they cry.

Outside, Flash is running through Metropolis on his way to the hospital.  I'm probably going to be saying this a lot but... where were ya a couple hours ago, Wally?  Anyhoo, he notices that all of the flags in the city are at half-mast... which is a great way to show what a huge deal this is to the universe.

Wally arrives at the hospital and chats up Booster for a bit, when suddenly they're joined by... Aquaman!  So Arthur, where were you while Doomsday was tearing up the United States?

As if that isn't enough, Batman and Robin swoop in next... well, Batman does... it looks like Robin's about to take a header into the concrete.

... followed by Hal Jordan and Hawkman...

... then Starfire, Nightwing, Jay Garrick, Alan Scott, Power Girl, and Elongated Man...

... Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Black Canary, and Etrigan the freaking Demon!  Seriously now, where were you people a few hours ago???

Anyhoo... the heroes are greeted by Oberon who proceeds to hand out some (highly-collectible) black armbands.

The assembled heroes slip them on in tribute.

Ollie... being Ollie chides Bloodwynd about the League "crashing down".  Wow dude, bodies aren't even cold yet!  Bloodwynd is adamant that the League will live on... and in the background we can see Black Condor flying by... but that's a story for another time.

Ice decides to pay tribute to her fallen hero by creating a giant ice sculpture in his likeness.  Nearby, Guy Gardner looks on... and with a yellow construct snags an armband for himself out of respect for... well, a fella he didn't always get along with... but appreciated none the less.

We wrap up back in Beetle's room, where Booster is er... keeping him company?  He tells his best pal that he doesn't know what he'll do if one day he has to wear an armband with a beetle on it.

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You can almost feel that chill in the air.

I think many of us can kinda relate to having urgency thrust upon us.  Whether it's for a good reason or bad... we've all gotten that phone call... somebody's in the hospital.  Maybe they suffered a fall... maybe their water just broke.  Regardless, an otherwise normal morning becomes something more.

You bundle the kids and rush out the door.  You see your breath as you unlock the car... you breathe in that strange "too early for me" morning air... and you head out.  In such a big rush... just to sit around and wait.  Maybe a few hours later a familiar face arrives with some coffee... or, in the case of the book, black armbands.

Okay, maybe I should cut it out with the (very specific) analogies and just talk about the book.

This issue hit the stands the very same day as Superman #75... and, lemme tell ya... doing it this way was an awesome idea!  Superman #75, despite being a very definitive ending... was still something of a cliffhanger.  I doubt anyone could read that and not ask "Okay... what happens now?"

Thankfully, comics enthusiasts (and their mothers) were able to grab this issue and find out!

The League... and the hero community at large has taken the hardest hit they'll ever take!  Losing someone like Superman really puts into perspective how fragile they all are... and how dangerous the work they do really is.  That's an idea I wish they went a bit deeper into.

Let's talk absentee heroes.  We joked a bit about this during the podcast... but, c'mon... where was everybody while Doomsday was tearing up the United States?!  I'm sure they knew what was going down... did they just have that much faith that Superman would pull through?  Must've, right?  Otherwise, it makes them the worst friends ever.

Even though this is a Funeral For a Friend tie-in, it's still very much a League-centric story... which I definitely appreciate.  We see that they're down three members... Superman's dead, Beetles in a coma, and Booster is depowered.

The team members all deal with the loss in their own way.  I appreciated the brief scene between Fire and Ice.  Ice has fostered a crush on Superman for awhile by now... and while he never reciprocated, he was always kind and respectful.  I'd definitely imagine that out of the Leaguers, this loss would hit Ice worst of all.

Perhaps an even more powerful scene was Guy Gardner snagging an armband.  He and Superman got along like cats and dogs for the most part, however, at the end of the day... they were teammates and shared a begrudging respect for one another.

Overall... a wonderful issue, and well worth your time.  It's a difficult book to recommend, as if you're reading this blog... you've very likely already read this issue.  Even if that's the case, maybe pick it up again... it's been 25 years, right?  A great "bridge" from The Death of Superman and Funeral For a Friend.

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Justice League America #28 (1989)

Justice League America #28 (July, 1989)
"A Date with Density!"
Plot - Keith Giffen
Script - J.M. DeMatteis
Pencils - Ty Templeton & Mike McKone
Inks - Joe Rubenstein
Letters - Albert DeGuzman
Colors - Gene D'Angelo
Assistant Editor - Kevin Dooley
Editor - Andrew Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75

I never would'a guessed it.  To think that as I sit here before my laptop and the world... that Guy Gardner might just be one of my favorite superheroes.  When did that happen?

I think that deserves a night out on the town Gardner-style.  Let's paint the town red with Guy and Ice as they take in a... ahem... show.

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We open on Fire, who is still in bed due to the Gene Bomb/Virus spoo from the Invasion event tweaking her powers something fierce.  Tired of laying around, she suits up and exchanges some odd conversation with Oberon, she tells him she wants to find Guy Gardner... to thank him for helping her earlier.  She then kinda makes it seem like she's coming on to our man Obe' a little bit.  I really enjoy his double-take here. 

We shift scenes to Guy Gardner who is... get this... demolishing a building with a ring-construct jackhammer.  He's just... caving in an entire building in the middle of a city street!  Who does that?  I mean, sure it's a building for baddies... but still, who does that?

With his job done, Guy heads back to the JLI Embassy to do some "heavy reading" in the form of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.  He arrives home, gives Oberon some guff about being short... then plops down in front of the television set with a Bud to see how the media describes his demo-job.  Just another day in the life of our man, Guy.

Ice enters the room, and since Guy's in such a good mood, he offers to take her out that night.  After some hemming and hawing, with threats of Guy showing her the "real" him... she actually agrees.  I mean, how bad could it be... right?

This news is not welcome to Bea... who goes all "mom" on Ice.  She basically forbids Tora from seeing him... but it's no use.  Ice is convinced that "nice Guy" from earlier in this volume was something of a cry for help.  Ya see, early on in the series, in issue we haven't yet discussed here... Guy gets konked on the head, and becomes an absolute sweetheart... like, it's terrifying.  It's not until a time where Lobo shows up for a fight and Guy gets konked again that he returns to his normal self.

Fire and Oberon watch as Guy and Tora leave the Embassy.  Bea is pretty hot (haw!) at the situation.  Oberon says he digs her passion... and she, I dunno... kinda comes on to him again... and we get another Oberon double-take.  On the street Guy insists they walk to their destination... because, ya know, the subway is like a toilet... and he doesn't want Ice to get, ahem, "thigh cheese".  

We shift scenes to a darkened office.  A man named Irwin is talking to his "boss".  The Boss is a retired super villain... with a fear of superheroes (especially Green Lanterns), that is, if his therapist is to be believed.  Herophobic is what they call it... which is good enough for me.  We pan out to find that the office is on the second floor of... what appears to be (because it is) a Triple-X Theater... just as a pair of Leaguers stroll on up.

Guy heads to the ticket booth and buys two... Ice doesn't quite know what to make of the situation.  I mean, it's pretty obvious... but, at the same time... could Guy be this, I dunno... "Guy-ish"?  Yeah... he totally can... and yeah, he totally did just bring Tora to a skin flick.

Love the balloon placement here!

Next we follow the ticket booth attendant as he runs upstairs to tell the Boss that he just sold a ticket to a dreaded Green Lantern.  He figures the ticket guy's gotta be mistaken... as if Green Lantern would take his date to a skin flick?  Clearly, you don't know our Guy.

Outside there's a loud crash... it would appear that Tora has realized what we already knew.  She and Guy get into an impassioned shouting match, which is interrupted by...

Black Hand?!  Yup, our herophobic "Boss" is Black Hand... who makes a rousing speech, and threatens them with a strange rounded gun... of sorts.  This does not go well for ol' Willie.

Ice thinks Guy was a bit hasty in thrashing that poor deluded man.  He's clearly ill, and was threatening them with "a toy" after all.  Black Hand gets back up and again, aims his odd gun at the pair.  Now, this is great... both Guy and Ice have had enough of Hand's crap... and so, Ice tells him to just "shoot his silly old gun and get this over with".  Amazing.

... and so, he does!  It doesn't go well for ol' Willie.

Guy and Tora walk away and continue their bickering.  Not having his disrespect, Hand runs back into the nudie-theater and procures a real gun before giving chase.  The city streets are packed with folks who all think Black Hand's costume just ain't working... but he hasn't the time to stop and argue the finer points of black latex.  He catches up to the couple... takes aim... and fires!  This too, doesn't go well...

Now you've done it... you messed up Guy Gardner's picture perfect bowl haircut.  Guy pops into his Lantern duds, and just beats the holy hell out of poor Black Hand.  He's beating him so bad he doesn't even realize that Hand's been trying to surrender the whole time.

We rejoin the happy couple later that night at the Embassy.  Fire lays into Guy for being a jackass, but it runs right off his back.  He figures he's got this one in the bag.  Tora's just gotta love him after a night like this!  I mean, why else would she be in a bath scrubbing any stink of Guy off of her, right?

We close out our issue with Fire getting a very special guest... Big Barda.  She is there to help her with her new powers... but, will this job be to "big" a job for Barda?  Well, that's a discussion for another day.

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Man... such a fun issue... from such a fun time.  I don't expect to see stories like this anymore.

Anytime we get to "accompany" a hero on a date, it's always a lot of fun... the fact that we just went to a skin flick with Guy Gardner and the virtuous Ice (Maiden) makes it all the more.  I remember the first time I read this lo those many years ago, and I just couldn't believe Giffen and DeMatteis actually "went there".  I mean, we know Guy's a sleazy fella... but to think that he thought it would be perfectly fine to take Ice out (on their first date) to a porno theater, is just amazingly funny.  You couldn't make this work with any character buy Guy.  Despite its grossness... it's almost, I dunno... charming in a way, how little self-awareness is shown.

Little self-awareness, by the way, that lasts the entire issue.  I feel like we get a pretty good look into Guy's character here... at least insofar as what he is willing to project.  It gives the impression that he is engaging in some rather hardcore impression management.  It's almost as though he's living "up to" the kinda "Guy" (har har) people think he is.  It's like, the dude's gotta have at least somewhat of a clue, right?

As with most superhero date-nights... we've got ourselves a villain trying to spoil the fun.  This time, of all baddies, we've got... Black Hand!  Like, the dude behind the hyoooge DC event of 2009-2010, Blackest Night... and he's a complete bumbling joke.  I mean, I get that the post-2000 Willie Hand was more or less a completely different animal than his Silver-Age cliche-happy counterpart, but it's still kind of jarring seeing him here.  I can only compare it to seeing tape of a main-event professional wrestler from back when they were a "job guy".  The scene where Ice and Guy practically beg him to shoot them was amazing.  So much fun.

In the background we've got some fallout from Invasion.  Fire/Green Flame's powers have been amped up quite a bit... I like that this was included, really helps the serial nature of the series... and helps with some organic sounding-board conversations to occur.  I'd totally forgotten how, I dunno, flirtatious she was... even to Oberon!  Nothing against him... but, those aren't thoughts that need to be thought.

Overall... I think most DC Comics fans will have a ball with this issue.  It's not yet available as a single-issue via DC Digital... but it has been collected in Justice League International, Volume 4... which is available both in print and digital... and of course, there always be dem single issues you can dig for... well worth the hunt.

Like every time we discuss a JLI issue here at the humble blog, I definitely wanna suggest you check out the Justice League International: Bwah-ha-ha Podcast.  It'll probably be a little while before Shagg and Co. get to this issue, but that don't mean ya can't give'em a listen and read along anyway.  It gets the Chris is on Infinite Earths seal of approval... which holds a monetary value of 1/255 of a cent USD.*

           *Chris' opinion actually holds no cash value

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