X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Thirty-Eight (1989)

 

X-Men Vignettes #38 (1989)
"Strangers on a Lift"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Art - Kyle Baker
Letters - Bill Oakley
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #38 (October, 1989)

Y'all ready for something weird? Cuz... today, we got a weird one. We've also got Ann Nocenti back, which I don't remember approving. Oh well.

Before we get into it though... how ya like my fake-ass cover, eh? Pretty spiffy? Y'almost can't even notice how horrid the transparency on the logo is!

--

So, we open... and, I guess Ann wanted to have her say with Dazzler in the Vignettes as well, cuz this is another one starring Ali. Anyway, it's late at night, and she's shuffling her way into an elevator at a multilevel parking lot structure. Inside the tin box stands a very portly fellow. If this were a movie, he'd probably be the racist sweatshop owner, or the dude who acts all moralistic... later being discovered as having a refrigerator full of body parts in his basement. You know the type, yes? He's the Elevator Man. He asks where Ali's headed... she tells him to take her to the top. The elevator whirrs into action... and, things get weird. The Elevator Man gets pretty close into Ali's personal space while attending to the lift-box's mechanism... while creepily leering, square in her eyes.

Moments pass... then, the lights go out. When they come back on, the fella is stood like right up on Dazzler's back. I'm sure she's getting a nose full of stale stogie and liverwurst. Ali begins to panic and asks what the dollar store Kingpin is up to... he simply tells her that he's the Elevator Man... and he's running the lift.

They reach the top level, and Ali goes to leave. The E.M. insists that he walk her to her car... since it's late... and, ya know, dangerous. He really impresses upon her how dangerous it is for her to be up here alone. As she begins her walk to her hooptie... another car hammers the gas and drives right toward her. The Elevator Man grabs her, pulling her out of harm's way... then... uh, handcuffs her to a metal pipe? Um, what?

The Elevator Man tells her it's all a joke... then, checks his pocket -- realizing that he's left the key to the cuffs somewhere else. He leaves to go fetch them. No sooner does he waddle away than Alison uses her Disco-paffin' to break herself free.

She then rushes to the power box and shuts off all the lights to the structure... leaving our fat friend just as confused and outta sorta as she was on the elevator. Next, she runs over to her car... flips on the radio... and prepares to engage in some Disco Dazzlin'.

What follows are a couple pages of Kyle Baker pencil candy, during which the Elevator Man gets bombarded with terrible music and light. Our gal introduces herself to her would-be fake-ass attacker... which takes us to our ending.

In which the Elevator Man reveals that... while he works as a humble Lift Operator, his true passion is film... and his obsession is fear. Ya see, this whole scene was orchestrated so he could observe and study "true fear" for his next film. He drops to his hamhock-sized knees and apologizes. Alison asks him, after what he's just experienced, if he now has enough "material" for his fear-film.

--

Welp.

Toldja this was a weird one. Thing of it is... there ain't all that much to say about it. Least nothing off the top of my head. It was interesting to look at, even if the story itself kinda read as nonsensical. Like, we know the Elevator Man's "goal" was to study true fear... but, really, at what cost? You pull a stunt like this... your ass is going to jail, right? Maybe that was his goal... he wanted to know the fear of being a literal cushion of a man in jail? Heck, even if that was the case, there've gotta be easier ways of going about it.

Up to the "grand reveal", Ann and Kyle did a great job of evoking the kind of fear and dread we might find ourselves with, when all alone... in the dark... away from our (non-current-year) safe spaces. The tone of the story is pretty great. Part of me wonders how a John Bolton would've drawn this... but, I'm more than pleased with Baker's take.

The title of this story is likely a play on the Hitchcock film, Strangers on a Train -- which, outside of the similar title, doesn't appear to share a single other thing with this story. Speaking of the title... here's an irrational "Chris Problem" for ya... use of the word "lift" instead of elevator by an American. Though, I suppose if we're replacing the word "Train" in our homage title, we gotta find a monosyllabic word to fit the bill. To me though, it always makes me think that the writer is trying to appear more "cultured". Like I said, irrational Chris Problems... they are debilitating. It's a wonder I'm able to pull myself outta bed every morning.

It reminds me of a comics podcast I used to listen to... back when I still had the time to listen to comics podcasts. It was hosted by an American and a Brit, and oddly, the Brit -- perhaps knowing that most of their audience was American, would use words like "elevator", "apartment", and "bar"... whereas, the American co-host would say "lift", "flat", and "pub". It always struck me as funny. Oh well.

Overall -- this is about three-quarters of a good story... which, at least for me, falls apart pretty hard at the end. How this Elevator Man didn't wind up arrested at the end of it makes zero sense. Plus, who was in the blue car that barreled at Ali? Was that part of the plan... or, just a happy coincidence? Also, what was E.M. planning to do to Ali when he returned with the keys? Lotsta silly questions... but, no answers are comin'.

ACW #610 - Phantom Stranger

Action Comics Weekly #610 (Phantom Stranger)
"Kenny and the Demon!"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Art - Kyle Baker
Letters - Bert Workman
Colors - Petra Scotese
Editor - Mike Carlin

Oh man... it's The Phantom Stranger.

And tomorrow's Deadman?

Boy, I'm glad there's no Spectre feature in Action Comics Weekly!

--

As our tale opens, we meet a fellow named Kenny Bushmiller... a poor dude who just can't seem to catch a break.  No matter what the situation, the outcome never seems to go in his favor.  Down in the dumps, and feeling rather persecuted... a hairy-scary demon sees him ripe for the picking.  Elsewhere, the Phantom Stranger is chatting up his pal, Bruce "Eclipso" Gordon.  This is fallout from the four-issue Phantom Stranger miniseries... that we only made it halfway thru here at the humble blog before tapping out.

Back to Kenny!  He's in that whole "They'll all be sorry" mode, at which time, his computer appears to come to life (or, be possessed by that hairy-scary demon... and, uh, "interfaces" with him!

With his newfound connectivity and power, Kenny decides to exact a little revenge on this unfair world.

This unbalance is felt by the Phantom Stranger, and he realizes it's up to him to check into this... and so, he hops a ride into cyberspace via Bruce Gordon's telephone.

We rejoin Kenny, who just got his gas meter read.  He feels like the gas company is screwing with him, and so... he blows up the underground gas main.  The Demon-PC commands more "input", however, there's something blocking him.  Well, more like someone.  The Phantom Stranger reaches from inside the monitor, and nyoinks Bushmiller inside.

They fight... and the Stranger exorcises the Digital Demon.  Annnnd... that's about it!

--

Okay, before we get into the content of this story... I'd like to discuss what this kind of story means in the context of Action Comics Weekly.

This strange one-and-done sort of story really illustrates the limitless possibilities Action Comics Weekly had.  I wish they did more like this.  Not that this story necessarily rocked my socks, but it lends a bit to the "wild west" approach to story-delivery that ACW had (in theory).

Folks of my generation (and a bit older) will probably have some familiarity with Public Access television stations.  You really never knew what you were going to get... it could be the most boring, tedious garbage... or it could be the strangest most intriguing... uh, mostly garbage.  This story feels to me a lot like Public Access... and I don't mean that as a slight.  There could be this air of "danger" in Public Access... and I feel had Action Comics Weekly had more oddities like this, it could have as well.

So, a random one-off non-traditional Phantom Stranger story?  Like I said, might not have rocked my socks... but, I wish there was more like this throughout the run.  We're going to get a couple more... but, to my mind, there should have been a "wildcard" feature every single week.

Now... the story.  Well, it wasn't the greatest thing in the world... but I didn't outright dislike it.  It feels like it both struggled to reach eight-pages... while at the same time, struggled to end at only eight-pages.  One thing I will say, the art was very fitting for the tone.  If you're a Phantom Stranger fan... you'll probably dig it.

Tomorrow: International Incident Averted?

Plastic Man #1 (2004)

Plastic Man #1 (February, 2004)
"Rebound"
Written & Illustrated - Kyle Baker
Editor - Joey Cavalieri
Cover Price: $2.95

Here's one that caught my eye while flipping through the ol' library.  Never was much of a Plastic Man fan... I know I watched the cartoon when I was younger, and sorta-kinda dug him as the oddball in the JLA, but never thought about reading his solo exploits.  This issue comes from the tail-end of my stint as a DC completionist.  I would grab one of everything they put out, regardless if I had any interest in the character(s).  At the time I had a decent job, no real responsibilities, and my wallet must have just been too damn heavy to lug around (that has all since changed).

It's quite interesting for me to revisit this point in my fandom, as back then I did not separate the wheat from the chaff.  I just bought, and bought, and bought... even if I wasn't really reading.  I suppose I have something of an obsessive streak in me, which makes me an easy mark for most of the comics industries gimmicks and sales ploys.  I also paid full price for all of my books... like I felt it was my civic duty to keep my local comic shops in business.  Caring more about their bottom line than my own, I spent, and spent, and spent.

What a difference a recession makes, eh?  Today we're gonna find out if Plastic Man was worthy of my hard-earned three bucks.

--

Down at the docks, a pair of mooks try and concoct a plan for their latest caper.  They huddle around a curiously colored table and plan.  One of the goofs spills a shaker of pepper all over the table... ultimately causing it to... sneeze?  That's right, it was not a table at all... it was the hero of this story, Plastic Man.  The ne'er-do-wells empty their pistols at Plas, which proves to be as ineffective as one may imagine.

With the help of Woozy Wink's backside Plas makes short work of these lugs, and hauls them off to the police station.

We get a brief look into Plastic Man's current lifestyle, he is surrounded by pretty women and is considered a local hero.  Even though everything seems great, he cannot shake feelings of loneliness that gnaw at him.  As he goes to bed for the evening, he hopes he doesn't dream.

Unfortunately for him (though fortunately for us) he does dream.  As he lulls to sleep, his face contorts to that of Eel O'Brien, his former, more crooked self.  He dreams how his transformation occurred.  He was doing one last job, at the Crawford Chemical Works.  He and his gang sought to loot their safes and make off with one last take.

A security guard happens by and attempts to chase Eel's boys off.  As they flee, O'Brien suffers a both gunshot wound in the shoulder and getting splashed with acid.  He manages to get away, though his gang drives off without him.  He struggles to maintain consciousness, however, his injuries prove too severe.  He stumbles through a swamp, and rubbery-legged, collapses.

He wakes up at the Rest Haven Monastery, where a monk had nursed him back to health.  It is here that Eel realizes that he's "turned into plastic".  He sees this as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf and perhaps use his new found powers for good.

Back in the present, Plas is shaken from his slumber by a ringing phone.  It is the Police Chief, who informs him there'd been a homicide.  Plas hops into the phone's receiver and pops out the other end.

As they investigate the crime scene, erstwhile bum Woozy wanders in.  He observes a wallet on the ground, and attempts to pocket it.  Plas excitedly announces that Woozy has found a clue causing him to drop the wallet right into the hands of the Police Chief.

The Chief believes the wallet belongs to the murderer... and it just so happens to belong to one, Eel O'Brien.

--

This volume of Plastic Man just feels special.  It's unlike anything from its vintage.  Remember wandering into an arcade or a bowling alley during the mid 1980's?  You'd see all the normal video game cabinets... then off on the periphery, you'd see Dragon's Lair.  Kyle Baker's Plastic Man was the Dragon's Lair of the mid-2000's comic book shelf.  It just demanded your attention... it was almost as though you were powerless against it.  You may not have bought or played it (as the case may be)... but, if you saw it, you remembered it.  It stuck with you.

 One of these games is more likely to draw your eye... at least initially

In reading, it's a fine story.  A great introductory piece for Plastic Man and a bit of his supporting cast... okay, just Woozy Winks.  The origin segment in this issue is inspired, and actually plays into the overall narrative of the piece.  You actually begin to feel for Plas/Eel as he is seemingly haunted by his past.  The cliffhanger is quite interesting, and makes you want to come back for the next issue.  The opening bit was a little hokey, however, it served its purpose well.

The art?  Are you kidding?  This issue looks like a collection of animation cells... and makes it work beautifully!  The art style is what makes this book special... it fits the character and concept almost perfectly.  The only aesthetic complaint I have is in the book's lettering.  The lettering looks like a like a poorly calibrated typewriter... it kind of pulls me out of the story.  I feel that a more traditional lettering style would have served this issue far better.

Is it worth checking out?  Hell yeah.  This series ran for 20 issues throughout the mid-aughts, and was a fun ride throughout.  This issue was part of a collection, Plastic Man: On the Lam, and the entire series is available digitally at DC Digital.  Definitely worth a look-see, even for just the novelty of the amazing art.

--

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