Bonus Book #12 - Legends of the Amazons (January, 1989)
"Of Wings and Arrows"
Writer - Tom Joyner
Pencils - Neil Vokes
Inks - Fred Butler
Letters - Jon D'Agostino
Colors - Matt Webb
Edits - Joey Cavalieri
Executive Edits - Joe Orlando
Welcome to the penultimate Bonus Book, where we're heading back to Themyscira... joy. I mean, it couldn't be as bad as that one we looked at the other day, right? Speaking of the other day, I mentioned during that pre-ramble that there is some inconsistency in the titles for these Wonder Woman-adjacent gimmes. This one is called Legends (plural) of the Amazons, whereas our first outing was only touted as a singular Legend. I've "tagged" 'em both as Legends, so they'll come up together if anyone happens to search the site for 'em.
This one came along with Wonder Woman (vol.2) #26 (January, 1989).
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We open on Themyscira with a young Amazon named Janestra running around a track jumping some hurdles. She allows herself to get lost in thought after seeing a crane flying overhead... she hopes one day to fly herself. So out-to-lunch over this bird she is, that she trips over the next hurdle she was meant to jump. She is attended to, and then scolded by, a sister-Amazon named Olympia. Jan goes on about how, with wings, hurdles won't matter... Olympia ain't hearin' none'a that. It's all about being the best you can at things you can do... not dreaming about such silliness.
That evening, we join Janestra in the library... and, lemme tell ya, libraries on Themyscira are some pretty chill places! She's literally laid out on a giant mattress reading. Suddenly, a parrot named... okay, gonna need a running start for this one... Aristarchus, swoops in and lands before her. She asks about the weird crane, but the parrot remains mum. It's at this point that I'm realizing that Janestra has a rather bizarre hairstyle. From the front, it looks like a regular bob-ish haircut... but, when she turns around, we discover that she's got like a mile-long rat-tail. Eesh. The 80's weren't kind... not even to the Amazons!
Janestra reveals to Aristarchus that she would do anything to be able to fly... and it just so happens that this entire exchange is being observed by a trio of creeps, who watch the scene play out in the waters of a putrid well. I dunno if these three are a reference to the classical "three witches"... or, if they're eventual Wonder Woman baddies I'd recognize if I were ever bored enough to read Wonder Woman... but, the jist of it is, they're trapped at "Doom's Doorway", and are looking for a way out. They see Janestra as perhaps a means to that end.
Ya see, there's this thing called Abaris' Arrow... from the Greek Myths, Abaris the Hyperborean was able to travel via a golden arrow. This arrow is believed to be in Themyscira, and might be the key to freeing these demons. And so, they concoct... a winged man to chat up Janestra.
The man arrives at Janestra's window... and introduces himself as Icarus, son of Daedalus. He's probably a little less obscure than Abaris the Hyperborean... he's the kid with the wings made of wax and feathers, who in the myth, flew too close to the Sun. Janestra is gobsmacked to see this flyin' fella... and is even more surprised when he asks if she'd care to go flying with him!
As they fly, "Icarus" tells Janestra all about the Arrow of Abaris... and how, legend states, that with it, man can fly. Invigorated, Jan heads into the Themyscira records room... which, is just crammed with wrinkly rolled scrolls... and, wouldn'tcha know it... she finds the Golden Arrow in no-time-flat!
Unfurling the parchment, she reads the historical records of the Arrow, which have more to do with Pythagoras and math than any flyin' Hyperborean. Ya see, he stole the thing from Abaris after it was gifted to him by Apollo... then, he flew to Themyscria to... teach math? Okay, fair enough.
So, night falls... and "Icarus" returns to meet with Janestra and find out if she'd found the Arrow. She gleefully (and foolishly) hands it over... after which, Icarus' drops his facade, and reveals himself to be a demon!
Then... he spends the next four pages having the ever-loving crap kicked out of him! Ya see, Janestra's no shrinking violet or anything... she ain't keen on being tricked, and so... she just beats this poor demon from pillar to post... before, ultimately just stabbing it through the throat with the Golden Arrow. I mean, wow... this is like "Demon Snuff" here. Just a brutal, one-sided beat-down.
We wrap up with the day saved... the Doom's Doorway remaining shut... and Janestra inquiring to Olympia if she knows where she might procure mass quantities of feathers and wax.
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Okay, this one... was pretty good! I could be a bit sarcastic and say something like, "When you go into something expecting it to be garbage, anything else is a pleasant surprise"... but, I feel like that would do this story a disservice. It was good. Not "in spite" of being an Amazon story, but just plain-ol' good.
We get some mythical stuff... which, without the help of a Google-Machine might've been a bit maddening back in the day... or, a reader in 1988/89 could've just accepted the facts as written, and enjoyed the story for what it was. It was fairly light on "myth-facts", which I feel is a good thing... because, at the end of the day, this was Janestra's story. We didn't need to be bogged down in Myths.
Janestra, who if the DC Wiki is to be believed, makes her only appearance in this story... is an interesting character. She's depicted as both a naive dreamer... and an all around butt-kicker. Joyner really subverted my expectations once she handed over the Golden Arrow. I had assumed that this was going to be the story of how, one girl's foolishness, led to these Demons being freed from Doom's Doorway. Like, a "cautionary tale", ya know? What I wasn't expect was four-pages of pure Demon Snuff! I mean, she made it crystal-clear that "Icarus" was screwing with the wrong Amazon. I dug that.
Our writer, Tom Joyner, bucked the Bonus Book trend, and actually went on to do some more comics at DC... one of which, we've covered here! He was decently prolific during the early 1990's, but doesn't appear to have done much (in the industry) since. Tell ya what, though... he actually made me enjoy a Wonder Woman-adjacent story... which tells me, he's pretty damn good at what he does!
Across the table, we've got Neil Vokes. He, like Joyner, was "decently prolific" during the 1990's, with many of his credits coming from Superman Adventures... that comic based on the Superman Animated Series. After seeing his art here, I'm very curious to see how he takes to that DC-Animated style, that everyone except me seems to have great affection for. I thought he did a really good job with this story... bad hairstyles notwithstanding. Gotta wonder... are there salons on Paradise Island? If so... what kinda looks you think poor Jan got when she asked for that to be done to her head?
Overall... a decent little Wonder Woman-adjacent ditty. I could see this fitting in as a back-up feature, not unlike the Tales of the Green Lantern Corps that were so prevalent in the Green Lantern title during the 1980's.
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(Not the) Letters Page:
Bonus Book #4 - Legend of the Amazons (July, 1988)
"Awakenings"
Writer - Dan Littleford
Pencils - Palmer Worley
Inks - Brian Thomas
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Danny Vozzo
Edits - Karen Berger
Before we begin, a few things about today's feature. First, it's a Wonder Woman-adjacent story... so, that doesn't bode well for your humble blogger. Second, this is the first of two of these we'll be getting during our Bonus Book excursion... though, the next time out, it will be called Legends (plural) of the Amazons as opposed to today's Legend (singular) of the Amazons.
Third... this was a book I had to drive all over creation last week to locate! Just like the All-Star Squadron and Batman and the Outsiders Insert Prevues... I just assumed I had this one. And... I didn't! Now, Wonder Woman books are often among the hardest to find "in the wild"... at least in my neck of the woods. Sure, they'll be in the bins... but, it's hardly ever anything resembling a "full run". This might be due to low print runs... because, as much as we might like to think otherwise, Wonder Woman, with very few exceptions, is never really a "hot" book. I'd blame the movies... but, Wonder Woman bin-rarity goes back way farther than that.
I did manage to find it... after many unsuccessful dives and probably around 75 miles of diameter driving. Best of all, I found it for a buck-n-change and in excellent condition, so, can't really beat that.
This story can be found in Wonder Woman (vol.2) #18 (July, 1988).
One more thing before we hop into the spoilery synopsis... I finally got around to compiling all of our Bonus Book/Insert Prevue discussion into an easily navigable page. Click the image below, if you're interested:
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We open in 4500 BC, in a strange (and annoyingly poetic) realm. There's light, there's darkness... there's madness. We're about a half-page in, and I'm already confused. After even more pseudo-poetry, a woman awakens. She has a white streak in her long black hair.
We learn pretty quickly that this woman is being kept against her will, by a King. She is his lover and his slave. She rises out of bed and walks toward a door... where, with her mind's eye, she imagines herself free... a warrior on horseback. Not sure if this is a flashback... or just her imagination running amok. This confusion will only get worse as we continue.
Still on horseback, this warrior woman runs into another. She, the dark-haired one, introduces herself as Mesopee. Wait a second... I don't think I can skip this one panel. Our gal describes her feelings here as... orgasmic? Really now? Checking the cover... yup, the Comics Code Authority let this slide... which makes me think they just had the good sense not to read this insert. I wonder how many children asked their parents what "orgasmic" meant after reading this? Ehh, who am I kidding... nobody read this.
Anyhoo, the women begin this friendly rivalry, wherein they race each other toward an oncoming storm. The other woman, by the way, is called Verona.
Back to "reality", where our captive leaves the breezeway before succumbing to... a headache? Okay... this triggers another trip into her mind's eye... but this one, I'm almost certain, is an actual flashback. In this one, she, as a young girl, is sold into slavery by her a-hole father. She is referred to here as Larabeau. So, who the hell is Mesopee?
In the "present", Larabeau is visited upon by the specter of her father... who she asks why he sold her to the King. He explains that the King's offer was too good to pass up... and, it's not like he wanted to spend the rest of his days looking after her! We learn here that Lara never knew her mother. Maybe that's Mesopee?!
After shaking off the vision, Larabeau wanders into the King's trophy room. Helmets from all he'd defeated adorn the walls... naturally, triggering another flashback. Here, Mesopee (who, I think we gotta assume is Larabeau? Maybe?) and Verona engage in a sort of mutual admiration society. Lots of talk of sisterhood and what-not.
This flashback/flash-sideways is interrupted by the King bellowing out that he requires drink. Larabeau, being his servant, fetches him a goblet of somethin' or another. Wouldja believe it... even this triggers another maybe-memory!
Mesopee has a late night drink with a warrior called Hermitus. Maybe he's the one she was sold to? I really haven't the foggiest idea what's going on here.
Back in the present, Lara presents her King with his drink. He asks if she sees anything in it... I'm assuming he means like a "vision" or something. She confirms that she does not... only "still liquid". Apparently, there is one called Kaleece who can see things in goblets... for whatever that's worth to us here.
Then... get this... the King reveals that he's missing his left hand... and he's rather troubled by this fact! What the hell is going on here?! Is this another vision? Did he forget he only had a wrist-stump on his left side? Is he just a nut?! Good Lord. The King insists that, get this, Larabeau is hiding his hand. Whaaaaaaat? It would appear that he beats the bejeezus out of her for her assumed transgression.
Larabeau crawls out of the room... and into a hallway, where a great blade hangs. Guess what happens next? If you said "another flash-back/forward/sideways/wherever", you'd be correct! Mesopee and Verona have been imprisoned... not sure if they're in the same place... or elsewhere. Hell, I'm not sure it even matters anymore.
The "mind's eye" bit continues into Mesopee and Verona's uprising. They slaughter their captors, break their chains, all that good stuff. In the present, Larabeau has retrieved the sword off the wall.
Homeboy charges in, still looking for his damned hand... but, Larabeau can't help but be elsewhere mentally. As he rants, she flashes back to the uprising... and to Verona's death.
In the present, Larabeau is carving up the King pretty good. This jackass is still ranting about his missing hand. Is this some sort of Greek Myth reference that I'm just not aware of? Talk about tunnel-vision... dude's being slaughtered, and still going on about his hand! Looks like Larabeau has killed her captor at this point... and a gaggle of geeks enter the scene to check on the King. With a smile on her face, she raises her blade at them. We can probably assume this didn't work out so well for the Royal Guard... or, maybe for Larabeau herself.
We (mercifully... finally) wrap up with a woman... maybe Larabeau... maybe Mesopee... maybe both... maybe neither, rising from the still waters of some sort of paradise. Whoever she is, she's lacking that white streak in her hair. There's a brief flashback of... Larabeau's death. So, this is a sort of rebirth? I have no idea how Amazons "work"... is this part of their gimmick [yes, it looks like in the post-Crisis it was their gimmick!]? Oh well. This woman, whoever she is, is alive... and in search of a "Virgin Land" that awaits her.
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What... wha? What the hell did we just read?
Ya know, anytime I read something that I just plain don't like, I always assume it's because I'm just too dumb to properly appreciate it. It's that odd mix of Catholic guilt with 40 years of paranoia and next to no self-confidence. I always just figure that everything is genius (heck, just look at "current year" comic reviews... everything is touted as "genius")... and that I'm just far too dense to receive, process, and enjoy whatever it is that I'm engaging with.
This though? I'm not sure. I've been doing this little blogging gig for near on 1500 days (in a row!)... I don't think I've ever been as confused and detached as I am in writing today's piece. Over the past few days, I've read this story no less than four times... hopeful each time that it might begin to make some sense. It didn't. Am I overthinking it? Am I looking for answers where there are none?
Are Mesopee and Larabeau one in the same? Is Larabeau the result of Mesopee's death and rebirth? Is it the other way around? Are they completely different people entirely? And, that's the deal with the King's hand??? I thought I was having a fever dream there... that panel was bananas! Where did his hand go? Who took it? Did he ever have one? Is he just insane?! I'm gonna guess he's just crazy. Also... who the hell is Hermitus? Is he the King prior to bleaching his hair and mustache?! So many questions... yet, not enough interest to pursue any answers.
I've done some light-Googling... all of the names we've read today... even Greek Myths about "left hands" or "missing hands", but all of those results come back with images of aged and broken statues! The only thing I actually learned, that made a lick of sense during my research was that the Amazons were reincarnated souls of women slain by men. I guess there's our means to an end.
So, if I were to make a guess... and make no mistake, this is just a guess. I'd say... Larabeau came first. Her death led to the reincarnation as Mesopee... who met Verona. They referred to one another as Amazons... which, stands to reason with the post-Crisis origin of the race. From there, they are captured... Verona is killed... Mesopee goes on to look for, what will ultimately become, Themyscira? Sound good? Ehh, who the hell knows? This is like that flash-sideways season of Lost.
One thing I will say about this story... if you ignore the confusing and overly-flowery captions... we get some amazing artwork. Really pretty stuff here. I don't think I've ever seen Palmer Worley before this... but, we'll get to him in a bit.
First though... Dan Littleford, our writer. According to Comicvine, this was his only story at in comics, let alone at DC. Worth noting, this Bonus Book doesn't even get a mention at the DC Wiki! Not sure what he may or may not have gone on to do. While I found his work to be a bit "much", I'm sure he could've flourished in some early Vertigo-style stuff. He's not a bad writer... just, too pseudo-poetic... and maybe a little lacking as a "storyteller". This just wasn't clear enough.
Palmer Worley... another creator who did not go on to much in the field! Besides this story, he is credited with Pencils and Inks on Ex-Mutants #14 (1990) from Eternity Comics and some Battletech from Blackthorne. In my Googling, not much else, comics-related, came up for him.
Overall... a very pretty story, but also a very confusing one. I'd say this one's probably for Wonder Woman completionists only.
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(Not the) Letters Page:
