X-Lapsed, Episode 160 - King in Black: Marauders #1 (2021)

X-Lapsed, Episode One Hundred Sixty

King in Black: Marauders #1 (April, 2021)

"Queen in Red"

Writer - Gerry Duggan

Art - Luke Ross

Colors - Carlos Lopez

Letters - VC's Cory Petit

Design - Tom Muller

Head of X - Hickman

Edits - Bissa, White, Cebulski

Cover Price: $4.99

On-Sale: February 3, 2021

Welcome to the HoXPoXDoXSoXRoX King in Black cash-in one-shot.  If we used to refer to certain Crisis on Infinite Earths tie-ins as "Red Sky Crossovers", I suppose we can call this a "Symbiote Dragon Sky Crossover".

Here, the Marauders very nearly get involved with the main King in Black story (rescuing the Cyclops Who Laughs and the Storm Who Laughs)... before being distracted by a passing boat.

--

@acecomics / @cosmictmill / weirdcomicshistory@gmail.com

chrisandreggie.podbean.com

chrisisoninfiniteearths.com

xlapsed.chrisisoninfiniteearths.com/

facebook.com/groups/90sxmen

Spectacular Spider-Man #263 (1998)

Spectacular Spider-Man #263 (November, 1998)
"The Final Chapter, Part 3: The Triumph of the Goblin!"
Writer - Howard Mackie
Pencils - Luke Ross
Inks - Al Milgrom
Colors - Mike Rockwitz
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft/SH
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99

Now that there's one ugly cover.  I get the feeling that John Byrne might've been in a Rocky Horror state of mind when designing this Goblin, no?

Something I've wanted to mention, but didn't quite know how to shoe-horn it in... or even put it into words, I suppose... is how this attempt at a "fresh" take on Spider-Man feels instantly old and outdated.  It's like if you took a property and gave it to your grandparents to "pep" up.  It's like Byrne and Mackie drew their inspiration from the Stan Lee Spider-Man newspaper strip or something.  It just feels so behind the times, and it's covers like this that really drive that point home.

It's low-effort, it's low-hanging... and it's just plain ugly.  What non-Spider-Man reader would ever pick this one up off the rack?  This was 1998... Marvel Knights just kicked off (same cover month, in fact!), and felt like (mostly) a breath of fresh air... but Marvel's "flagship" book... stinks like mothballs and Werther's Originals.

--

Picking up right where we left off (well, maybe a few seconds later), Spider-Man is with a woman who looks a whole lot like Aunt May.  The Green Goblin has un-webbed himself, and is there to really lay into Spidey.  Aunt May is very confused, which I suppose stands to reason.  Norman backhands the broad, sending her right into Spider-Man's arms.  Our hero ain't buyin' that this is the real-deal Aunt May... after all, we're not too far from the Clone Saga that monopolized much of the 1990's.  Norman insists this isn't a gag... and suggests that Spider-Man take his Aunt home, and spend what time he has left with her... because, ya see... tonight, Spider-Man dies.

Spider-Man takes his leave, and heads over to the Baxter Building... or wherever the heck the Fantastic Four were holed up post-Heroes Return.  He asks Reed to give this old woman the once-over, to see if this truly is his dear Aunt May.  Without a sample of the real-deal-May's actual DNA, however, all Reed can confirm is that this woman is human.

Spidey's got an idea... and tells Reed he'll be back soon.  Reed tries to stop him, because there's this one teensy tiny detail he really ought to know, but Spider-Man ain't willing to wait around.

We follow our hero back to his and Mary Jane's house, where the latter is having a big fashion blowout or something.  Lotsa "absolutely fabulous" people are present... though, thankfully since this isn't a John Byrne script, none of them are actually saying "absolutely" nor "fabulous".

Emjay hears something in the attic, and heads up to check.  Naturally, it's Peter... and he's digging through some old junk.  Ya see, Aunt May was a lotta things, including a packrat... and so, he had a sneaking suspicion that the answer to his problems might be up here.  And, whattayaknow... it is!  Peter happens across an old science experiment he did in Junior High, where he collected some of May's DNA.  What luck!  He explains the sitch to Mary Jane, who... is dubious (and probably just wants to get back to her schmoozing and hob-nobbing).

We immediately shift back to Reed's lab, where he confirms that the old bitty is indeed May Parker.

Then, we move onto that teensy tiny detail Reed really wanted to share earlier.  Y'all ready for this?  Aunt May's got this "cylindrical object" implanted in the back of her brain... which, if not removed ASAP as possible, will kill her.  Reed wants to operate... but needs the a-okay from her next of kin.  Rather than unmasking, Spidey tells Reed that he'll contact her family.  We assume he just pops outside to the nearest payphone and calls Reed as Peter... but, we don't see it.

We follow Spider-Man to... Osborn Industries Corporate Headquarters, where he comes crashing into ol' Norman's office.  Norman starts mocking him straightaway.

Norman speaks of the Gathering of Five ritual (remember that?), and how it gave him the power of a god.  Spidey insists Osborn's gone insane... but, the baddie corrects him, claiming "Nah, this other guy got that gift..."  We'll put a pin in that for now.  Spider-Man asks what Norman's big plan is... to which, Osborn is more than happy to share.

Spider-Man is directed over to a big window overlooking a laboratory.  He explains that these scientists were responsible for the weirdness at the hunting lodge (that dumb stuff regarding the flora and fauna).  He also now has the "technology" to, well... make people melt down to their "component DNA structure" (which we already saw a few issues back).  Fans of the anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion might be familiar with the Human Instrumentality Project... this sorta feels something like that.  He demonstrates this before a shocked Spidey.

Ya see, Norman is planning to melt everyone down... and reshape the world in his own image.  Hmm... maybe Spider-Man's right, and Norman has gone insane?

They spend the next several pages fighting... and bantering.  Well, Norman's doing most of the talking.  He explains a lot here... so, let's get right into it.  He talks up his philanthropy... and how he's used several of the Osborn charities to distribute his "DNA Bombs"... which, oh yeah... is exactly the thing that was embedded into poor Aunt May's dottering dome.  What's more, while it's in her head, it's basically inert.  Only when it's exposed to air will it "activate".  Very "damned if ya do..." sorta situation, no?  In fact, it's her DNA Bomb that will start the chain-reaction in setting off all the DNA Bombs.

So, you might be asking... how in all hells is Aunt May actually still alive?  I mean, we all saw her die back in Amazing Spider-Man #400, right?  Well... here we go.  Ya see, Norman... who was retroactively made the mastermind of the entire Clone Saga (which was already in high-gear around the time of ASM #400)... kidnapped the real-deal Aunt May, and replaced her with an actress.  This actress, reportedly, spent years learning Aunt May's mannerisms and voice... and, what's more, Norman even filled her in on all of Peter's secrets... which is why they were able to have that touching final conversation atop the Empire State Building before she passed.  Ya get it?  This is one of those weird situations where... we don't have to necessarily like it, but it actually feels like Marvel is trying.  Nowadays they wouldn't expend the effort!

At this point, the book goes completely bat-stuff insane.  Well, insaner.  The Goblin drops Spider-Man in the middle of a crowded New York City street... and unmasks him!  The world now knows that Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker!

Norman ain't done yet, however... after the... uh, humiliation (?) of the unmasking... he kills Peter Parker!

We close out this issue (and the volume of the second longest tenured Spider-Man title) with... the death of Spider-Man.  How will we ever be able to walk this one back?!

--

So... we got a lot of information in this here issue, and very much to Howard Mackie's credit, most of it sorta-kinda makes sense?  I mean, it isn't perfect by any means, but... the answers we get, are satisfying in the sense that... it feels like they actually tried.  How did Aunt May come back to life?  Why, she never died in the first place... that was an actress!  How did Norman's hunting lodge "come alive"?  Well, ya see... this room full'a nerds saw to that... now watch them die!

Again, it isn't perfect... and, honestly, it's not even any fun to read... but, I can't say that Mackie isn't trying here.  Perhaps it's only with the couple-decades of hindsight... where the "hot writers" of "current year" don't put in any effort to make their stories or character motivations make any sense, but I appreciated the attempt at making everything "fit" here.

Mackie and Byrne could've very easily said "None'a that ever happened"... and just picked up with Spider-Man as a swinging single, living with Aunt May, and snapping pics for Jonah while taking classes at ESU.  But, this happened back when Marvel Editorial still had some respect for continuity... so, instead, we get an actual "work-around".  A clunky-as-all-hell work-around, but a work-around nonetheless.  Kudos (I guess) for that.

Let's look at that cliffhanger.  Oof... how are they gonna walk that one back?  Welp, we'll find out tomorrow... I hope you're all prepared for a pretty massive disappointment.  I know I am!  I did like seeing Norman get his big win.  It really drove home his motivations, and illustrated just how personal this rivalry between he and Peter still is.  I will say, however, this Green Goblin design?  Uh, it... ain't got no alibi.  It's ugly.  U-G-L-Y.  Ross' pencils are pretty tight here throughout, but not even he could make this Goblin look good.

Next time, we'll wrap up the pre-boot... and close out this "final chapter" with Peter Parker: Spider-Man #98.

--

(Don't call it a) Fold-Out:

--

Letters Page:

--

Interesting Ads:

Spectacular Spider-Man #262 (1998)

Spectacular Spider-Man #262 (October, 1998)
"The Gathering of Five, Part Four: A Day in the Life"
Guest Writer - John Byrne
Pencils - Luke Ross
Inks - Al Milgrom
Colors - John Kalisz
Letters - Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99

Wow, two Howard Mackie days in a row?  Well, if you look at today's cover, you might think so... buuut, it's wrong.  Today we're back with Byrne, for better or worse.

If you're thinking having the wrong credits on the cover is a sign of the tight editorial eye on this book... well, read on...

--

Today's issue opens with an "Interlude"... the first of, I wanna say three.  In it, Norman is chatting up that weirdo from the Pawn Shop we met the other day, and we learn his name is Morris Maxwell.  Heck, we might've already known that.  Anyhoo, Norman is on the phone with someone named "Franklin"... who had agreed to be part of the Gathering of Five ritual, and now appears to have cold feet.  Norman demands he come, even though the Rite states that all five must come voluntarily.  Whatever the case, we pop over to the Franklin house and find out that someone had been listening in on that call.  We'll meet them soon... and, hoo boy, are they gonna be annoying.

Onto the "meat and potatoes" of the issue.  Spider-Man is going about his regular patrol, when two dorks on bikes notice him swingin' by, and decide to follow him and see where he's headed.  There's a really forced running gag here about one of these goofballs being a henpecked fiance or something... it's really not worth breaking down.

So, these cyclists follow Spidey to a... nondescript store.  Like, it's literally just a doorway... where a ski-masked would-be robber gets punched the eff out.

Spider-Man saves the day... webs the crook up, like all the way... he looks like a mummy.  No air-holes or anything!  He is then thanked by the proprietor of the establishment, who is overjoyed that... Captain America saved him.  The hell?  That doesn't make any sort of sense... would anyone in the world mistake Spider-Man for Captain America?  I mean, Daredevil... maybe?  Deadpool even... but Cap?  C'mahhhhn... (another) bad joke, Byrne.

Next, interlude the second.  Mary Jane reacclimates to the modeling world.  It's an "absolutely fabulous" scene... which is to say, everyone in it cannot help but to say "absolutely" and "fabulous" with every line.  Emjay is handed her contract... and it looks to be a biggun.

Back to Spidey, who is swinging by a pick-up basketball game, where some grown-ass adults have swiped the ball from some kids.  Welp, this looks like a job for Spider-Man.

Spidey challenges the grown-ups (who he addresses as "big kids", even though they're all drawn as adults) to a game... winner take ball.  Spider-Man actually hurls one of 'em into a wall... I mean, from the looks of it... I don't know if the poor goof even survived it.  Feels sort of out of character for Spider-Man, dunnit?  If he starts referring to himself as "The Spider", I'm outta here.

After returning the ball to the little kids, Spidey's back on patrol.  Those idiot cyclists are still hot on his trail... and get this, they ride out into traffic without looking, causing a nine-car pileup!

They decide to press on, because, screw gettin' in trouble for that.  They don't get far, however, as Spider-Man has set a sticky trap in their path.

One tries to get away, Spidey catches him, we learn these two geeks are lawyers for some reason (maybe Byrne had a bone to pick with lawyers around this time)... and they're frog-marched back to the scene of the accident.  Spidey leaves them with some officers, and swings through Central Park, where he overhears the a woman (the fiancee) trying to get a hold of the henpecked one.  ell oh ell.

We wrap up with our third interlude.  You lovin' all this Gathering of Five content we're getting?  It's pretty great, innit?  Here, we hang out with Norman at LaGuardia... where he's waiting for Franklin to show up with the fourth and final shard.  Someone does show up... but, it isn't the "Franklin" Norman had expected.

--

Man, what a great chapter of The Gathering of Five, right!  Right?  Uh... Right???

I mean... honestly, just what the hell was this, and why did we need it?  We literally got four pages dedicated to the main story... a story, by the way, which will serve as a catalyst to reboot Marvel Comics' flagship character for the first time in nearly forty years.  There really should've been more care taken with this.  The whole thing feels like an afterthought at worst, and filler at best.

What's more, it's another (poor) fill-in by Byrne!  Spectacular Spider-Man was an important book in the Spider-family... leading up to this, it had been written by J.M. DeMatteis and Roger friggin' Stern... where were they?  Probably running as fast as they could in the opposite direction...

Okay, so try let's break this down.

Let's start with the stuff that's actually important to The Gathering.  Norman is reaching out to a "Franklin" to get that fourth 'n final.  Franklin is a bit trepidatious, which really, is the only way he should be when a) dealing with Norman Osborn, and b) putting his fate in the hands of a weirdo ritual.  His child, however, listened in on the call... and it looks like they're going to take his place in the ritual.  Be prepared... this character is going to be wildly unpleasant.  That's... it.  That's the entire Gathering of Five portion of this issue.

We do touch on another bubblin' subplot... pertaining to Mary Jane's return to modeling, which really just felt like Byrne shoehorning as many Patsy and Edina-isms into dialogue balloons as he could.  We get the impression that we're supposed to find the modeling biz to be vapid and superficial... which may further alienate us from Mary Jane.  Remember, we're supposed to be able to relate to the superheroes and their families, right?  That's what Marvel Editorial has been saying since Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 came out, anyway!

For the rest of the story... like, literally the other 20 pages of it, we get Spider-Man swinging through the city, using his powers in... I dunno, sorta mean ways.  He mummifies that one robber... no air-holes to be seen.  Not sure if that was an artistic choice, or if Byrne had that in his notes.  He beats up those basketball thieves... which, I dunno, feels sort of like an abuse of power.  Maybe I'm over-thinking it.  Spider-Man also takes great pleasure (perhaps too much) upon catching those cycling lawyers.  Makes me feel like Byrne might've had a few run-ins with lawyers, and he was taking out his frustrations here.  That's just my postulating, however... it could all be in my head.  Just seems weird that they'd draw attention to what these two losers do for a living.  I mean, who asked?

Overall... this was a complete waste of time.  The four pages worth of Gathering story could have easily fit in yesterday's issue of Peter Parker if we removed the nonsensical Spidey fighting a literal Dragon on the streets of New York bit.  Just such a waste... which, I hate to repeat myself, but... this story is setting up the Spider-Man reboot.  This is Marvel's flagship character... and they're starting him over, in large part due to what happens in this story.  They're treating it as an afterthought, which does nobody (but Byrne) any good.

Oh, and it's gotta be said... 1998 Byrne doesn't write a funny Spidey story.  I've read funny Spidey stories... this is not one of 'em.

--

Fold-Out:

--

Letters Page:

--

Interesting Ads:

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #14 (1996)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #14 (November, 1996)
"Higher Learning"
Story - Brandon Choi, J. Scott Campbell & Jim Lee
Penciller - Luke Ross
Inker - Sandra Hope
Colors - Joe Chiodo & Martin Jimenez
Computer Colors - WildStorm FX
Assistant Editor - Gigi Barbes
Editor - Sarah Becker
Cover Price: #$2.50

Another pick informed by a twitter exchange with Andrew.  Been a minute since we looked at Gen¹³... so why not?

--

Wake up in the morning, feeling shy and lonely, gee they gotta go to school.  It's a new day in La Jolla, California... and it just so happens to be the first day... of school?!  C'mon, teams of superhero kids don't go to school, do they?  Aren't they all just taught at whatever institute they're based out of?  Well, I guess that's not exactly the way it works for our Gen-Actives.  And so, while Caitlin's father Alex Fairchild does his... tai chi, or whatever... the kids all get ready for their big day.

Elsewhere, Burnout has done a rather poor job of shaving himself... having nicked himself several times over.  Unfortunately, Rainmaker saunters by in her unmentionables... which causes our man to, uh... flare up... thereby cauterizing his wounds?  Man, hope that doesn't scar.

Elsewhere again, Roxy does one of those in-room fashion shows, like we see on television.  I've never been a teen-aged girl, so for all I know, these might happen in real life?

We then shift to Lynch's underground bunker... office... monitoring room... place.  He's got a smattering of screens up, including a shot of Bobby's blistery face.  Gotta wonder where else this creep's got cameras posted?!  Also worth noting, that one newscaster from Spawn is on one of the screens.  As he hears of a string of student abductions he checks in with Anna, the robo-maid about breakfast.

Turns out these finicky teen-agers don't really appreciate all the hard work the bot puts into making breakfast... you know how deez kids be.  Grunge would rather have some cold pizza (brah!) and a Diet (?) Coke... Roxy's into fad dieting... Bobby's got his Powerbars... and Sarah's, well, Sarah's just annoying.  Caitlin, however, does eat up... and even goes so far as to thank Anna!

Then... finally, it's off to school.  No sooner do they step out of Anna's van than the cliche "As Seen on TV" school experience begins!

Roxy bumps into a dude and drops her books all over the place.  Then... an artsy gentleman stops to help her pick them up.  Wouldn'tcha know it... he's headed to the same Film Appreciation Class that she is!

Caitlin is targeted by a pair of... uh, is "mean girls" still a saying?  Whatever we're calling them, they are a pair of Sorority girls, who are looking for a new pledge.  Who betta than this six-foot redhead?  Perhaps worth noting, they're from the Kappa Lambda Tau sorority... and I hope those letters don't mean anything.  Considering another "creatively" named house we're going to meet, I can't help but imagine that they do.

Speaking of that other house... Grunge decides to pledge for Delta Iota Kappa.  Yeah, DIK, see what I mean?  He and another dude head inside... where they're threatened with... um, some bad touching?

We slide over to the Campus Kafeehaus (are there even classes today?) where Bobby is called over by a rocker chick.  She calls him "Mr. Weiland"... which, yeah... I guess I can totally see that.  They chat, flirt, the whole shebang.

We head over to the Quad where there's already a demonstration going on.  The kids have organized to put a stop to inhumane treatment of animals by the Biology department.  Of course, Rainmaker is right in the middle of all of this.  Grunge strolls by to lend some "moral support"... which is to say, he stops long enough to razz her a bit.

Finally... a class!  It's Neurology 301... which, I mean for Freshmen, that might be a bit advanced.  Gotta wonder what the pre-reqs were if Grunge is here.  Anyhoo... it's Grunge and Fairchild... and it's here that we learn that ol' Percival has himself some'a that photographic memory.

For something completely different, we pop over to the Isle of Gamorra... where some nogoodniks are trying to track down Alex Fairchild.  They beat up some Rodney Dangerfield looking fool... and leave.

Back at school, the day is winding to a close.  The gang all heads back to where they were set to be picked up in the Anna-Van, and they have a few new additions.  It's also here that the art starts to go a bit "ca-ca"... or is that "cock-eyed".

Some friendly razzing between partners changes into heated debate... which, I'd imagine makes their new pals wonder just what the hell they've gotten themselves into.  Before push turns to shove, however, the Anna-Van arrives to take the Gen-Actives home.

We rejoin the gang at the dinner table... where Anna has decided she's had enough of their crap.  She forces them to eat the meal she's prepared... and since she's a robot, I'm sure she actually could just jam it down their throats.  The "animals are people too" debate heats up again... with all sides actually making cogent points.  Lynch basically tells them that this level of discourse is what becoming educated is all about... they don't have to agree... but all opinions ought to be heard and respected.  Grunge punctuates the sentiment with a belch.

That night, the kids unwind in front of the television set... and it's not long before the razzing begins again.  At least it's friendly this time around.  Lynch tries to break it up by suggesting they all do their homework... to which, Grunge informs the gang that his is done, thanks in no small part to his photographic memory.  Wonk wonk.

We close out with... another student being abducted from the college.  Thought for a moment, it was the Anna-bot... but it turns out they just have the same hairstylist.  She wakes up to find herself strapped to a table... and being approached by some odd Kokopelli looking individual.

--

Well... as silly and cliche as this was, I can't say I didn't have fun reading it.

This is like... every TV show "first day of school".  Being a dude whose had a bunch'a "first days of school" himself... I gotta just assume I was missing out, because I never had one like I saw on television.

This issue served as a pretty neat diversion from the usual fighty-fight superhero fare... and allowed us to explore these characters outside of the Gen-Active dynamic.  Of course, it's still kiiinda cliche... Roxy and the Artsy dude... Bobby and the slacker/rocker chick.  Grunge, despite being a goofball actually being a super-secret genius... all sorta contrived deals.  Fun, but contrived.

The art here is... uneven?  There are panels that look as though they could've been J. Scott Campbell... and then others that look like they're straight outta OEL manga.  Who knows, maybe there was a time-crunch toward the end... it wouldn't be out of character for a book of this vintage.  The cover is quite striking, and would likely jump off the shelf atcha... which kinda does leave the inside a bit more disappointing.

Overall... I think there's a lot of fun to have here.  It might be worth your time to check it out.

--

Letters Page... kinda?

--

Interesting Ads:

857