Metal Men #37 (April-May, 1969)
"To Walk Among Men"
Plot - Len Wein
Script - Denny O'Neil
Penciller - Mike Sekowsky
Inker - George Roussos
The last time we read an issue of Metal Men I wasn't terribly keen on it... though, that might've been more due to Eclipso showing up than anything. I wasn't planning on covering them again anytime soon... however, after seeing this cover in the bin... I just couldn't resist. I mean, just look at it! Such a striking image!
Could the inside hope to match up? Let's find out...
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We open with the Metal Men careening toward the city in their space ship (which is apparently out of fuel). Iron is able to weave their way between the skyscrapers before smashing into the ground... well, actually smashing into what looks like a parking lot, or at least it used to be. As they crawl from the wreckage, the Metal Men find themselves surrounded by an angry mob... and police with their firearms drawn.
We get the impression that the Metal Men aren't exactly the most popular folks around town... and if we're being honest, they've kinda earned their reputation here. I mean, they risked the lives of countless people here because they didn't realize their ship was out of fuel until it was too late! Anyhoo, the police load the team into the paddy wagon (for their own safety) while the mob yells that they ought to be melted down and scrapped.
Over the next little while, the court of public opinion is in session... and the Metal Men are proclaimed Public Enemy Number One... (two, three, four, five, and six as well). The Mayor is approached by a concerned group of citizens who demand he do something about the Metal Menace. He's a bit sympathetic to the bots, since Dr. Will Magnus is currently in a coma...
... but even he must admit that something must be done. He decides it would be prudent to actually put the Metal Men on trial... where they are ultimately declared guilty, and sentenced to... immediate destruction?! Da hale?
From here, the Metal Men are loaded into another van... and driven down to the scrapyard. Upon arrival, they watch in horror as a car gets smushed in a compressor... knowing they're about to share its fate.
Lead decides to go first... and right before his team, he is crushed into a cube!
The rest of the crew reluctantly follows...
The End! Wait, no... we rejoin the Metal Men in a darkened room. Suddenly, a man nearby turns on a light... exposing himself to be Mister Conan... who just so happens to be the same guy who condemned them to their crushed fates!
Conan reveals that he only had them "destroyed" as a means of saving them. He thinks they could be useful to him somewhere down the line, however, the Metal Man "brand" is pretty much shot. Since he owns the junkyard, it was easy for him to gimmick the crusher (don't think about it too hard...). He introduces a Doctor Peter Pygmalion... and makes the Metal Men an offer to hide their robo-metal visages from the world.
The Metal Men agree, and so... over the next several pages a team of doctors attend to them. Before we know it... bingo-bango, the Metal Men now have secret identities! Just like Superman, Batman, and everybody!
Let's meet them, shall we? We start with Gold aka. Guy Gilden, a glittering socialite and philanthopist.
Platinum aka. Tina Platt... beautiful model and fashion icon.
Tin and Lead aka. Tinker and Ledby Hand... folk singers?
Mercury aka. a hot-headed artist and sculptor named Mercurio.
And finally, Iron aka. Jon "Iron" Mann superstar engineer. Wow, this Mr. Conan has a knack for setting up some bad-ass secret identities!
Six months pass... and the former Metal Men begin to get bored... and feel as though they've gotten soft. Mr. Conan assures them that they're still needed... and recommends they remain sharp. At that moment, we wrap up at a Park Avenue apartment... where a group of ghouls called The Black Coven convene!
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Wow, I had no idea the Metal Men ever went the secret identity route... had a lot of fun with this one!
Let's chat up all the stuff that happened before the big reveal. The Metal Men are declared menaces... which, c'mon... they kind of are! If there was a group in the real world who negligently crash their ship into a crowded city street, I doubt the city-folk would take kindly to their presence. This wasn't just a "lost control" situation... this was just an "oops, forgot to get gas!" deal!
Not saying they deserved to be... ya know, put to death or anything... but, maybe... I dunno, suggest they not to fly ships anymore? The angry mob scenes made me think I was reading old X-Men comics... which was pretty neat. The fact that this actually led to a trial was a bit silly... but, whattayagonnado?
Let's talk about the actual condemning scene. How morbid was that? I mean, they arrive just as a car is being crushed into a cube. It's easy to dismiss all of this because we're dealing with machines... but, the fact that they were depicted as being fearful... confused even, really made the scene more powerful than it had any right to be.
We don't get a feeling of finality... which, is probably for the best. Really not much to dwell on, considering what happens a page later. If this scene were to occur today, I'd expect it to be a gory mess of gears and oil, rather than a sound effect followed by the appearance of a colorful cube.
The new identities were pretty neat to see... and were fun, if you don't think too much about it. I mean, we've got Gold... who just appears outta nowhere as a wealthy socialite and philanthropist. Seems far-fetched, but considering the subject matter... we can allow it.
Worth mentioning... Mike Sekowsky is frickin' amazing. The art here is fantastic throughout... the Metal Men all look great, in both robo and fleshy forms, and hey... how 'bout that Coven. Those are some freaky looking creeps! Really, just an awesome looking book!
Overall, this was a very interesting wrinkle in the Metal Men mythos... and I'd say it's worth checking out if you come across it. The cover is spectacular and the story ain't nothing to shake a stick at either. It doesn't look like its ever been collected (SHOWCASE Presents: Metal Men, Volume Two unfortunately ends with #36). It also doesn't appear to be available digitally... so, this'll be a bin-dive if you're interested.
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Metal Men #48 (October-November, 1976)
"Who is Bruce Gordon and Why is he Doing those Terrible Things to Himself?"
Script - Martin Pasko
Artist/Co-Plotter - Walt Simonson
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Letterer - Gaspar
Editor/Co-Plotter - Gerry Conway
Cover Price: $0.30
It's weird the trends you notice when you trawl the cheap-o bins with any regularity. I mentioned last month that I'd never seen a copy of Outsiders #5 without some "spinal damage", and that's still true... just this weekend I found another, with the same splitting.
Well, on the other hand... I've yet to come across a 1970's issue of Metal Men that is in less than pristine condition! If I were a betting man (and thankfully, I'm not) I'd wager that these Metal Men have never even been opened! They look crisper than most new releases!
Do I have a point? C'mon, do I ever? Let's just get to da book.
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We join the Metal Men and Will Magnus in the lab, where the latter is attempting to build a better "responsometer". Apparently, something had happened to Tina (Platinum) in an earlier adventure that the Doc is trying to keep from reoccurring... something about "making eyes at anything in rivets"... hmm, maybe the Doc's feeling a bit jealous. Either way, they call it quits for the day. The Metal Men decide to go see a movie, and Mercury reminds us (for the first time today) that he's liquid at room temperature... and throws in his atomic number (80) for good measure.
Before they can hit the town, a trio of women burst into the lab... one of which is sobbing uncontrollably. Her name is Mona Bennet, and she is desperately in need of Magnus's help. Ya see, it has to do with her fiance... Bruce Gordon! We might know him by his snazzier name... Eclipso!
She shares the story of Bruce being nicked by the black diamond, fighting the Justice League, and ultimately trying to "burn out" the Eclipso persona by inventing a ridiculously powerful tanning bed. It doesn't work all that well... and the high-intensity lamp shatters. Eclipso then begins creeping around Mona's home... finding an unopened letter from her father, Dr. Simon Bennet. It's a letter addressed to Bruce informing him the answers he requires are located at Georgia Augusta University Library in Gottingen, West Germany. Wow, "West" Germany... I remember being such an annoyed and dumb eight year old knowing that I had an "out-of-date" globe in my bedroom when they took the wall down... funny the stupid things you remember. Anyhoo, Magnus decides he and his Metal Men are Germany-bound.
Mona shares some more information from "Daddy". Back in the yesteryear, the Spanish Inquisition (who no one ever expects) arrived in Peru, somewhere near Machu Picchu. They procured some parchments... and burned them as heretical texts. One parchment, however, was smuggled out before the torches were lit. If we're going to Germany, why are we talking about Peru? Hmm...
Bada-bing, bada-boom... we're in (West) Germany, and the Metal Men are already confronting Eclipso. That was quick... though, to be fair, they did have his exact destination. Eclipso holds his black diamond to his left eye... and, wrecks Mercury! He then beats the hell out of the rest... before bathing the crew in blackness and ducking away.
After gathering themselves, Magnus and the Mets notice a librarian writhing around in pain. The Doc heads over, and is directed to some paperwork on the desk. The librarian dies right afterward. Gold finds a map with an X marking the spot somewhere in the Peruvian Andes. Oh! That's why we were talking about Peru!
Along the way, Will welds Mercury's arm back on... and Merc takes the opportunity to remind us that he is liquid at room temperature.
It's not long before they arrive in an "unspectacular" clearing... which, I dunno... looks pretty spectacular to me.
Anyhoo, they land the saucer... and are almost immediately attacked (and thrashed) by Eclipso.
It comes down to Eclipso and Tin. Tin is the stuttering, kinda nebbish Metal Man... but perhaps the one with the most heart. He takes to hiding in the saucer... and when Eclipso comes a'calling, he Tin blasts him in the face with Magnus's welding torch! This burst of light is enough to revert ol' Moonface to (an apologetic) Bruce Gordon.
When the dust settles, the crew notices that a stone structure attached to the temple appears to be pointing to a mountain pass just off the mainland... on Diablo Island! Surely nothing too ominous about that.
One quick flight later, and we're on Diablo Island. They enter a cave (which Gordon has apparently already visited back in House of Secrets #67). Inside is an alter... on the alter, a tablet... on the tablet, an inscription of an eclipsed Sun! Iron snags it, and a cave-in commences!
The group flees, tablet in hand. Outside, the Metal Men's saucer flies overhead and... blocks the Sun, giving the look of a solar eclipse. Uh-oh! Gordon reverts to his two-tone form and snatches the tablet. He then hustles up the side of a cliff to begin chanting the words inscribed!
The Metal Men try and stop him, however, before they can reach the clifftop, Eclipso hurls the tablet into a just-arrived storm cloud. Mercury and Iron team up to get the drop on the Moonfaced creep, but it's too late. He's already awakened... Umbra!
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Well... I really wanted to like this more than I did, but couldn't help but to be a bit bored throughout. It actually took me several attempts to get through this one.
I don't have much of a connection to the Metal Men. I think they're cool to look at, have some neat character quirks, and work quite well as guest stars... their solo (so to speak) adventures always leave me a bit cold. Not even the threat of Eclipso could fix this for me.
There really isn't all that much to say here. Everything "worked", just didn't "work for me". I thought Simonson's art was really nice, so there's that. I liked the non-action bits where we could really key in on the Metal Men's idiosyncrasies... Tin's stutter and insecurity, Platinum diggin' on "darling" Will Magnus, Mercury reminding us over and over that he's liquid at room temperature. That stuff I was pretty entertained by. The action scenes and globe-trotting... ehhh...
Eclipso can also be a tough baddie to really invest in. His powers are just so... I dunno, cheap? It's like at any given moment he can switch... which you'd figure is a great thing for building tension, but with him it's an expectation. We know it's going to happen... and it's always going to happen at the most inopportune time for the heroes. Eh, it's kind of his thing, so whattayagonnado?
Overall... to me, this is a very pretty book with a few neat character moments. Unfortunately, I was pretty bored/underwhelmed by the rest.
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