Chris and Reggie's Cosmic Treadmill, Episode #70
Christmas With the Superheroes #1 (1988)
"Wanted: Santa Claus - Dead or Alive!"
"The Man Who Murdered Santa Claus!"
"The TT's Swingin' Christmas Carol!"
"Star Light, Star Bright... Farthest Star I See Tonight!"
"Twas the Fright Before Christmas!"
"The Silent Night of the Batman"
Writers - Denny O'Neil, Len Wein, Bob Haney, Paul Levitz, E. Nelson Bridwell & Mike Friedrich
Pencillers - Frank Miller, Dick Dillon, Nick Cardy, Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez, Curt Swan & Neal Adams
Inkers - Steve Mitchell, Dick Giordano & Murphy Anderson
Letterers - Ben Oda
Colorists - Glenn Whitmore, Helen Vesik & Jerry Serpe
Editors - Len Wein, Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $2.95
Keeping our Christmas on Infinite Earths... in July festivities rolling along, today I'm sharing Reggie and my first Holiday special... DC Comics' Christmas With the Superheroes #1 from 1988.
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This was one of our longer episodes... as we were looking at like skatey-eight hundred creators and a half-dozen stories. This was also my longest ever blog post to that point... and, actually, it very well still might be! I still haven't published that "full-length" Bizarro World piece yet, so I think this one still might take the length-crown!
With that said... Just as with yesterday, if podcasts ain't your thing, there is a text-n-pics variation on this discussion that you can check out if you decide to click the cover below! While you're at it, you might wanna check out my discussion of Christmas With the Superheroes #2 (1989)!
Teen Titans #13 (January-February, 1968)
"The TT's Swingin' Christmas Carol!"
Writer - Bob Haney
Artist - Nick Cardy
Cover Price: $0.12
Merry Christmas, friends! Hope everyone woke up to a tree-full of great stuff from Santa.
Today we're going to wrap up our Twelve Days of Christmas on Infinite Earths with one Swingin' Christmas Carol. I know what you're thinking... "Chris, you merry elf... you covered this story last year!" To which I say... well, yeah... I did!
We looked at this story way back on December 21, 2016 as part of the 1988 Christmas With the Super-Heroes Special. So, why do it again?
Well... I finally came into a copy of the original... which has been one of my "white whales" of collecting... also, I get to share all of the groovy ads and letters page... last year I was only able to dedicate about a paragraph to this in our "discussion" section... and finally, it affords me the opportunity to "organically" promote the fact that Reggie and I included this in the Cosmic Treadmill Christmas Special... now available for download!
Before we hop in... I'd like to once again wish everyone the Merriest and Brightest Holiday! Thank you all for a great year of comics chatter... and look forward to our 700th Daily Discussion coming in just five days!
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We open at Ebeneezer Scrounge's Junkorama... oi... inside Scrounge is being a slave-driver to his employee... Bob *hm* Ratchet. Bob asks Scrounge if he might have Christmas Day off to be with his son, Tiny Tom... is any of this sounding familiar? No? It's just me, then? Anyhoo... Scrounge is all "Humbug", but tells him if he gets his work done he can have the day off. Hmm, sounds reasonable, no? Suddenly a truck pulls up, and Scrounge decides to shoo Ratchet off for the evening.
Just as this occurs, Tiny Tom rolls up in his not-so-deluxe wheelchair. He overhears Scrounge and a pair of thugs making a deal on some old garbage. Ya see, they've got a sort of ray that makes old garbage into new stuff. Why, they'll make millions!
Tom rushes home to tell his father what he'd heard. He suggests he confront Scrounge with it... which, goes about as well as you might imagine. Scrounge decides that poor Ratchet's gonna have to work Christmas after all. Tiny Tom's outta tricks, so he decides to call in the cavalry... the Teen Titans! Not sure how he got a hold of them... but, c'maaaaaan, it's Christmas... we'll allow it.
The Titans hide under the bad guys' truck as they head out. They are stopped by a giant of a man who starts wrecking fools left and right. The Titans bail out and decide to trail their potential ally... all the way back to Ebeneezer Scrounge's run down mansion.
The big man beats on the door onto Scrounge answers... it's Jacob *hm* Farley, fresh from the clink... still wearing the stripes, even! He's here to take some justice from the ol' skinflint's be-hind.
The Titans enter the mansion before Farley can obliterate the old geezer... and we come to find that he was Scrounge's scapegoat for some scummy dealings, which caused some on-the-job injury. Scrounge knows his rights, and decides to phone up the police... Farley and the Titans both scram before they get arrested. Outside, the Titans compare what they're going through with Dicken's A Christmas Carol... okay, so we're going there, fair enough.
The gang decides... what the hell... let's keep playing along. Maybe have ol' Scrounge visited by some ghosts and what-not... which, ya know... is exactly what they're gonna do. First it's the Ghost of Christmas Past... who I'm guessing is Wally, because he comes in through the wall. He spooks Scrounge pretty good... causing him to flee the mansion...
... where he meets the Ghost of Christmas Present... who is, I dunno... either Robin or Aqualad, I guess. He takes Scrounge out to where he can see Bob Ratchet digging through the snow for spare parts with which he can repair Tiny Tom's wheelchair... good thing there's a perfectly good wheel under that snowdrift, right?
Finally, the Ghost of Christmas Future arrives... which is, get this... Wonder Girl in a cute little Santa onesie, with her hood up. We hear some phantom voices about Scrounge's legacy, including a very nice one from Tiny Tom. The baddies arrive during the haunting... and, not messing around... shoot her right out of the sky. Ouch. Anyhoo, the jig is up.
The next scene is a... weird fighty bit, where the Titans get sucked into a giant "garbage tree" or something. I guess it's an anti-burglar device... that, I dunno... attracts human flesh?
Suddenly, the attractor starts... attracting, Tiny Tom's wheelchair. It falls and gets crushed... and they say, that Ebeneezer Scrounge's heart grew three sizes that day. Seeing the wheelchair of the only boy who ever said anything nice about him destroyed is enough to set him off. He turns off the machine, and frees the Titans.
Scrounge has seen the light... he decides to turn over a new leaf... he even goes as far as to buy Tiny Tom a state of the art, groovy electric wheelchair!
Not only that, Ebeneezer replaces Wonder Girl's cute little Santa suit so the gang can all pose and deliver a very special (and of course, swinging and groovy) Holiday greeting!
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This one just gets sillier (and better) every time I read it! I think it's the perfect note to end our Twelve Days of Christmas on Infinite Earths feature on.
We really acquainted ourselves with this story for the latest Cosmic Treadmill Podcast... there was so much great far-out dialogue in here that I was toying with the idea of scripting out the entire thing!
The thing of it is now, however, is that I almost feel too close to this one to give it a "fair and balanced" review. I think I can safely say this one won't rock everybody's socks. It's pretty light on action... and it's, ya know, a parody/homage to A Christmas Carol (by Dickens, if ya dig), so we get pretty much exactly what we expect.
Scrooge/Scrounge is visited upon... then has a complete change of heart. That's the quick and the dirty on both stories. It still tickles me thought, that the Titans actually come to the revelation that their situation is strikingly similar to A Christmas Carol halfway through the issue. I mean, it sets up the second half... but it's still just so weird!
Nick Cardy's art here is fantastic... and just like we mentioned during the podcast, his work on the Titans and the A Christmas Carol knock-offs is quite different. The Titans still look like their usual comic book selves, whereas the rest have sort of a rougher look... heavily shadowed... almost as if they'd literally just stepped out of an old book. It's a great look and doesn't distract from the storytelling one bit.
Overall... this story gets a huuuge recommendation from ol' Santa Chris. It's available digitally, and has been reprinted a whole slew of times (including 1988's Christmas With the Super-Heroes, natch). If you see this one, definitely grab it... I think you'll have a great time with it.
Before I cut out (for another handful of Christmas cookies that I shouldn't be eating), I want to once again wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season. Thanks for making this a great year... and hopefully some of my silliness has helped in some small part to brighten yours!
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Letters Page:
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Fun Stuff:
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O' Christmas Tree 2017:
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas on Infinite Earths, I give to you Teen Titans #13, Adventures of Superman #520, Batman: The Brave and the Bold #12, JSA Classified #33, The Spirit #13, Justice League Unlimited #28, Shade the Changing Man (vol.2) #19, Action Comics #762! Young Justice #40, Superman: The Man of Steel #109, Green Lantern: Larfleeze Christmas Special, and a Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual #2 Review. Merry Christmas, friends!
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Teen Titans #17 (September-October, 1968)
"Holy Thimbles, it's the Mad Mod"
Script - Bob Haney
Art - Nick Cardy
Editor - Dick Giordano
Cover Price: $0.12
Now there's a groovy cover, no?
Keeping with our impromptu look at odd-ball villains, let's keep the ball rolling by checking in with one of the odd-est. Or is that Mod-est?
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We open at Buck House (that's Buckingham Palace for all the squares), where Teen Titans Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Aqualad are present for the Royal Command Performance. Wow, these kids have met the Queen of England and President John F. Kennedy! Anyhoo, as the Royal Sceptre makes an appearance the gang wonders what might be keeping Robin. Um, it goes without saying that the Sceptre gets stolen, right?
Of course it does! And the fella behind the swipe is none other than... the Mad Mod! The Titans leap into action... however, come up embarrassingly short.
As the kids are flat on their backs they think back to exactly how they got into this situation. Earlier in the day, all four Titans were in their "spacious, gracious" hotel suite overlooking London. There's a knock at the door, and it's their newly laundered and pressed costumes. Guess the costumes they were already wearing weren't quite up to snuff for hob-nobbin' with the Queen Mother. This might sound dumb, but trust me when I say... it's integral to the story.
And so, the Titans have themselves a bit of a wardrobe change... not that any of us would have been able to tell had we not seen this scene. Wally, Garth and Donna (who they refer to as Double-You Gee here, which takes longer to say than just "Wonder Girl") head off to do some dancing at a discotheque while Robin decides to pursue some culture. While Robin is getting his culture, he accidentally locks himself inside the Tower of London. Whoops?
Back in the present, Wally is pursuing the Mad Mod...'s van. Ya know, I'd figure the Mod would have a more fashionable ride. That's not really important... what is important, however, is that Wally's having one helluva time keeping up! It's as though he's lost his connection with the speed force! And so, he heroically steals a motorcycle and continues his pursuit.
He follows the baddies all the way to a pub called The Chalk Charger. He overhears that the Mod is planning to hold that "ruddy" sceptre for a king's ransom. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
Wally also overhears that the sceptre is stashed in a horse's ear. That'd be around the time my investigation would have hit the wall... but thankfully Kid Flash is a bit more up on all things English. I'm about to let my lack of culture and worldliness show, but I guess there are giant chalk figures carved into hills over there! Whodathunkit? Well, probably most people who aren't me. Anyhoo, one happens to be a... horse!
And so, Wally heads out toward Westbury, and tries his hunch... and wouldn'tcha know it, he finds the sceptre! Unfortunately, the Mod and Company arrive just in time to bonk him on the head and steal it right back.
Next, we join Wonder Girl and Aqualaddio in a helicopter over Loch Ness. I probably don't need to even say what's eventually going to happen here, right? We'll get there... I promise. First, however, we need to get Garth in the water. After seeing a strange craft submerge, our Aqualad dives in to see what's up. What he finds is... the Mad Mod planting the sceptre in an undersea jug.
Garth grabs it, but doesn't get far before the Mod snags him in a net. He's then taken to an old tower... where he's hung (by his wrists). The Mod somehow seems to know that Aqualad can't be out of the water for over an hour. Not sure why they didn't just, I dunno... kill him? Guess that's why I'm not a supervillain. Anyhoo... the Mod leaves, Garth uses his marine-life-communication hoo-doo... and suddenly, say it with me: The Loch Ness Monster!
With Garth saved by the friendly beast, we now join Wonder Chick as she literally watches the Mad Mod place the sceptre under Stonehenge. She waits for him to leave... then fetches it for herself, though... has one heckuva time hoisting that rock.
Oddly, Donna's feat of strength was witnessed by some local Druid's (?), who mistake her for their Goddess. They hoist her in the air and begin to chant. It's this ruckus that grabs the attention of the still-not-yet-fled Mad Mod.
The Mod rushes into the fray... and hits Donna with his, er... thimble fingers (first I saw them, I thought they were salt and pepper shakers!)?! Having successfully reclaimed the loot, the baddies hop back into the van, and proceed to barrel through the mob of Druids!
The Titans then reconnoiter at a country crossroads to discuss their next move. They spy a sign posted to a... er, post... advertising the Ungrotty Grotto... which just so happened to be what was written on the side of the Mod's van. The kids know they're Cornwall-bound!
Along the way... Donna decides to change costumes, because why not? Hopefully the boys gave her some privacy... though, it is a rather small helicopter. The boys also change into their spare costumes and realize that... their powers are returning! Looks like the Mad Mod must've gimmicked their gear!
We rejoin the Titans (and the Mod) not just in Cornwall... but, haunted Cornwall. The teens witness the Mod dropping a man attached to a ball and chain into the water. A repowered Garth dives in to make the save... unfortunately before he can reach the body, a Killer Whale swoops in and gobbles the poor feller up.
Meanwhile, at the Mod Cave... Wally and Donna arrive to face off with the odd villain, who is rather displeased to see that they've regained their powers. While Kid Flash beats up his goons, the Mod attempts to make an escape. Wonder Girl gives chase, and winds up taking a rock to the side of her head for her troubles!
As the Mod flees though a maze of grottos, Aqualad finally catches up to the Killer Whale... and forces crushed pepper pods into its blowhole. I dunno, that seems pretty mean, right? Anyhoo, turns out (shocker) the body that was dropped was just a dummy. Inside the dummy, however, is the Royal Sceptre!
We rejoin the Mod in a grotto that is rapidly filling with water. Seems our fashion maven has forgotten what time the tides roll in. Luckily, Garth is still in the area... and he swims in for the save.
The Titans return the Sceptre to the Queen before returning to their suite, where they find... Robin. He reveals he's been locked in the Tower of London for an entire day, wonk wonk wonkkkkkk.
We close out with the Titans debating telling Dick what really happened during the Command Performance.
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So... the Mad Mod, eh?
It's weird... as much as my head is telling me that I didn't really dig this, I can't help but sit here with a dopey smile on my face thinking about it. This was just so silly... and, ya know... kinda dumb, but it was just what the doctor ordered.
Sometimes we (or at least, I) just need a silly superhero story, where one thing leads neatly to the next, and at the end of the day... everything is a-ok.
The Mod as a villain... well, he's about as effective as his name would suggest. But he's fun! This is a character that couldn't work outside of this time period. We saw him briefly pop up during the relatively-recent Titans Hunt (2015-16) miniseries... and boy howdy, did his Millennial makeover give me the dry-heaves! Talk about a most punchable face for all the wrong reasons.
I think it was wise taking Robin off the table for this story... it's not like a starched costume would make him less analytical, right? Then again, he did get himself locked in a dungeon overnight. Maybe that's what they mean by "tourist trap"?
I'm not completely sold on Bob Haney's "three-act play" format. Many (perhaps all) of his Titan's stories have three parts... and it gives the issue a sort of disjointed feel. It facilitates "hopping around" in location, time, and character... but, really takes me out of the story. We go from a panel with Wally getting bonked on the head immediately to a panel with Aqualad and Wonder Chick in a helicopter over Loch Ness. It's a bit jarring. Perhaps if I read more any (non-comic) books, I'd appreciate this a bit more.
Overall, not a bad issue at all and I'd say most comics enthusiasts would definitely get a kick out of it! I think this is the last we see of the Mod until the mid-1990's too! This issue has been collected a couple of different ways, including the super-affordable SHOWCASE Presents: Teen Titans, Volume One. It is also available digitally.
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(A contentious) Letters Page:
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