Amazing Spider-Man (vol.2) #1 (January, 1999)
"Where R U Spider-Man???"
"Rebirth!"
"The Secrets of Spider-Man"
Writers - Howard Mackie & John Byrne
Pencils - John Byrne & Rafael Kayanan
Inks - Scott Hanna & Jimmy Palmiotti
Colors - Gregory Wright & John Kalisz
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $2.99
So... hey Blogger, looks like both your "New Look" and "Legacy" versions are gigantic pieces of crap! Why am I still using this platform? Today's post, which hopefully at least a person or two is going to bother to look at... took friggin' forever (we're talking close to three-GeeDee-hours... which is probably about two and a half hours longer than Howard Mackie spent writing the actual issue), thanks to Blogger being very finicky when it comes to uploading images. There are something like 25 images associated with this article. I had to manually upload them one-at-a-time, while taking several "breaks" because Blogger would simply stop responding after like three or so in a row.
I mean, this is Google, right? Like one of the biggest tech companies on this planet? Fix ya stuff.
Now, if all that's not bad enough... here's Amazing Spider-Man #1.
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We open at the Statue of Liberty, where the Human Torch has writ a message in flame... he's looking for Spider-Man, see? Seems as though the Wall Crawler meant it when he tossed his duds into the flaming drum this time. Worth noting, Byrne draws the most depressed-looking Lady Liberty here. We get a bit of a flashback to the final chapter of... The Final Chapter, and learn that it's been months since anyone's seen Spidey. Johnny rejoins the Fantastic Four and decides to give up the search... for now. The Fantasticar zips right passed a penthouse apartment... where, thanks to one giant modeling contract, Peter, Mary Jane, and Aunt May now reside.
It's really a heck of a joint... looks kinda like where a 1980's drug-lord might live. Peter is thankful that his life as Spider-Man is behind him, though not so thankful that he doesn't have a framed picture of Spidey on his wall. I guess since Parker made his name by snapping pics of Spider-Man, it makes sense that it'd be here.
Aunt May makes herself useful by slapping together a sandwich for her favorite nephew... and they sit down to "catch up". May recalls all of the weirdness of late: her faked death, her abduction, that horrible Spider-Man... yadda, yadda, yadda. Gotta wonder just how often she and Peter have this same exact conversation. I'd guess 2-3 times a day. This time, May blames it all on rap music. Seriously.
The chat is mercifully interrupted by a phone call from Mary Jane's legs. She's just found out that her time away has been extended another week-plus. Peter, doesn't seem all that bothered... so long as she's having fun, she can stay away forever! That's a sign of a healthy marriage. Peter promises not to engage in any arachnid endeavors while she's gone... after all, he's got other priorities now: grad school and an upcoming job interview!
We shift scenes to Daredevil beating up some would-be mugger in an alley. He's really felt the pressure since Spidey stepped down... looks like all the "street level" crims are now solely under his purview. That's gotta suck. Elsewhere in New York City, Captain America watches as Johnny's flaming missive dissipates. He wonders if they'll ever see Spider-Man again. Hmm... where were all these heroes while Norman was destroying half the city?
Cap heads inside and witnesses a really awkward and clunkily-written Avengers training exercise. Thor almost kills Wanda with his hammer, Justice and Iron Man are arguing over whether or not Spider-Man's disappearance even matters. It's really forced stuff. Jarvis gives Captain America the latest edition of The Daily Bugle, which has a (imagine this) scathing headline about Spider-Man. Ooooooh. This time, Jonah's gone too far... insinuating that Spider-Man might be... a coward! I'm pretty sure Jonah's accused Spidey of eating babies before... this is really the bridge too far?
Heck, even Robbie agrees! This is really bad. I'd like to give them a bit of credit here, for having Jonah still be obsessed with Spider-Man, even though nobody's seen him in forever. Robbie even tells him that he's gotten everything he's ever wanted... and has, in fact "won" his endless feud. This is just a very hamfisted way of getting that point across.
Peter arrives with some photos... but, since none of them involve Spider-Man, Jonah doesn't even wanna look at 'em. Dude's obsessed. Just then, a crime comes in over the wire: the Scorpion is running amok downtown. Peter declines an offer to go snap a few pics, leaving the gig to Betty Brant. Now, this Scorpion redesign... woof. It su-u-u-u-u-cks.
Okay, so we follow Ms. Brant downtown with her cheap-looking camera, so she might capture some of this rampage. Scorpion notices her... and heads right in her direction. But... but... but... then, Spider-Man shows up! Well, that didn't take long, now did it?
They fight for a bit, before Scorpion drops a building on poor Spidey and flees the scene. It's almost like Spider-Man is some sort of "rank amateur" or something. Welp... that's too bad.
A "short time later", we pop over to Tri Corp Research Foundation, where Peter Parker has arrived for his job interview. Hey, waitaminute, didn't he just have a building dropped on him? Hmm... well, that would be telling. Anyhoo, Pete is met by a Ms. Terry Kwan who gives him the nickel tour before introducing him to the folks he'd be working with if he's offered the gig. There are a lot of words crammed into these panels, folks. Words that basically say nothing.
Let's meet his team (well, if he gets the job, wink, wink). Walter Thorson - an Astrophysicist, Javier Caldrone - a Molecular Chemist, Stan Hardy (really?) - Geneticist, and Chantal Stone - Quantum Mechanic. It's a Burger King Kid's Club up in here.
Just then... the Scorpion attacks! Well, that's inconvenient. Peter springs into action, helping his new acquaintances to safety... hopefully, without giving away his secret identity.
The Scorpion focuses in on Peter... and reveals that his bioscan "matches perfectly", whatever that means.
Before our man can act, however... Spider-Man shows up! Wha-a-a? (You bored yet?)
As Spider-Man and the Scorpion tussle... with the latter definitely maintaining the upper-hand, Peter does some quick thinking and figures out a way to get involved in the brouhaha without giving up his secret. He notices a Kirby2000 generator, and lassos a bunch of wires around the Scorpion's arm before short-circuiting his ugly new suit.
With Gargan on the ground, Peter heads over to Spider-Man and asks who's under that mask. Spidey quips that it's a secret... duh.
Peter then meets Dr. Ted Twaki, the Head of Tri Corp... and, is offered the job on the spot. We close out with our boy returning home to share the good news with his Aunt.
That's not all, friends... we've got Back-Ups! Well, sorta... there's really very little to even talk about. The first one is called Rebirth!, and features the Scorpion testing his ugly new costume by fighting a bunch of computer-generated Spider-Men. Hmm... maybe he just went into the future and checked out a "current year" Spider-book... there are hundreds of Spider-folks running around these days!
The other back-up is called The Secrets of Spider-Man, which is more or less post-Byrne/Mackie Reboot Peter reminiscing over his time as Spider-Man... while incorporating bits and pieces from Spider-Man: Chapter One into his narrative. It's not great... but, it does save you from actually reading the first issue of Spider-Man: Chapter One... so, thank goodness for small favors!
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I'm about half-hot right now due to Blogger being a complete POS... not sure this is the sort of state of mind I ought to be in to give an objective gander to this here issue... but, there ain't anybody else writing this... so, we'll give it the old college try. I started writing this post when it was still dark outside... and it's now mid-morning. Jesus. Thanks for wasting half my Monday, Blogger! Piece of crap.
Okay, okay... let's talk Spidey. Here's the thing... reading this back, it really isn't as bad as Spider-Man: Chapter One... and yeah, that's sorta "damning with faint praise". That being said, it also doesn't (at all) feel like it ought to have been a "#1". There was nothing special about this... at all!
I feel like, and this is just me, if you have a "#1" issue, you should be able to feel like you're reading a "#1" issue... even if you didn't have the foggiest idea what the number on the cover is. It should feel NEW, it should feel FRESH... it should feel SPECIAL. This felt like none'a that. I think a few days back I said that this reboot smells like moth balls and Werther's Originals... and, I still feel that way. This is instantly stale.
It feels like a Byrnian gimmick out of the 1980's... which, back then was novel. Nearing the turn of the 21st Century, however, there's a definite feeling of "been there, done that". Byrne and Mackie were supposed to be breathing new life into this property... and, they absolutely failed. This might not be entirely their fault, however... I mean, Marvel has an editorial staff... is this really what Ralf and Harras envisioned when they handed the reins over to these two? Stale, throwback, barely Spidey newspaper-strip worthy stories?
That's kind of the most aggravating part of this... this is "serviceable" more so than "awful", but if you're relaunching, rebooting, and reimagining your flagship character/property... it needs to be more than just serviceable. It needs to absolutely kick your butt... make you sit back and say "wow". Lemme tell ya, back in 1999, we Spider-Fans were indeed saying "wow", but for all the wrong reasons.
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Fold-Out:
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Wrap-Around Cover:
Amazing Spider-Man #441 (November, 1998)
"The Final Chapter, Part 1: And Who Shall Claim a Kingly Crown?"
Guest Writer - John Byrne
Pencils - Rafael Kayanan
Inks - Bud LaRosa
Colors - Matt Hicks & Mike Rockwitz
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99
Y'all ready for the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man? Hoo-boy, this is sure to be a monumental issue... I mean, this was before the days of nu-Marvel and the annual relaunch... at this point, Amazing Spider-Man only had ONE #1... and, check this madness out... it only had ONE cover too!
Ya know, I wrote that paragraph as a gag... but, it actually sorta-kinda made me gag. What an absolute s-show the "current year" comics biz is.
Yeesh.
Least we've still got the old stuff to relish in... like this sure to be amazing final issue of ASM!
*cough*
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We open at the Osborn Building... or wherever it is that Norman Osborn works... and, check it out, it's finally time for that thing the last story arc was named after: The Gathering of Five! Let's meet our players: we've got Norman, of course... Maxwell, that creep from the Pawn Shop, Madame Web, Override, and... some young girl with 'tude. This is the "Franklin" that arrived a few issues back at LaGuardia... that they didn't want us to see. She is Martha/Matt/Mattie Franklin, daughter of the Franklin Norman was expecting. Not much of a reveal here, folks. Anyhoo, they're all decked out in some geeky-looking robes for the ritual. Mattie and Maxwell butt heads immediately. Anyone care?
We shift scenes to Forest Hills, where a cab pulls up to the Parker home. Why, it's Alison Mongrain and Robbie! Been a minute since we last saw them. Mongrain insists that there's something she has to say... something she can only say to Peter Parker. Suddenly, steam begins to rise from the gutters.
Good grief, it's the Molten Man... again.
Inside, Mary Jane is on the phone with Jill Stacy... and is wearing the first of several hairstyles/lengths (and outfits) she'll be drawn with throughout this issue. She hears the ruckus outside, and is shocked by the scene.
Outside, Raxton looks to be quite conflicted... it's as though he's trying to stop himself from attacking Mongrain. He even manages to speak a little bit. And so, we get four pages of flashback where Norman Osborn embeds a chip into Raxton's head. Four Pages. This is the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man... and we're wasting like a quarter of it on the friggin' Molten Man's flashback?!
At this point, Mongrain... who is lookin' roooouuuugh... realizes that, duh... she's been wearing a locket given to her by Norman Osborn this entire time. You kidding me with this? There's a dude tracking you to all corners of the planet to do you harm... and you're still wearing his jewelry? C'mon. Robbie nyoinks the locket and tosses it into the street... and just like that, the Molten Man backs off... and heads over to the trinket.
At this point, Mary Jane rushes out to see what's up. Mongrain, upon learning that Emjay is Parker's wife... decides that she can tell her the big secret. And so, she whispers something into MJ's ear...
... which shocks her to the core! Ya see, folks... May is actually alive! I fear this revelation might not have quite the same oomph it did back in 1998. If I'm talking about Spider-Man and say "May", where does your mind immediately go? Well, here's a bit of context: Not too long before this story, Mary Jane and Peter had a daughter who was stillborn. They named her May. See where we're headed here?
We shift scenes back to the Osborns, and it's finally time for the Ritual. I feel like I already said that. They each hold their shard over their head... and the room fills with electricity.
Madame Web goes first, placing her shard on the altar. She immediately dies... soooo, that's the gift of DEATH. Welp, there's one outta the way.
Mattie goes next... and her result isn't quite as clear. There's a buzzing in her fingers, and a numbness in her mind. Maxwell presumes she has received the gift of KNOWLEDGE. Norman then tells "Overpower" to place his piece. Overpower? Ya mean Override... the goofball we've spent like half of the last story arc following around? C'mon, there are three friggin' editors on this book... and, it's written by John friggin' Byrne. We expect more... though, we probably shouldn't.
Overpowerride Places his piece down upon the altar... and is suddenly flooded with power. The feeling, however, is fleeting. Maxwell posits that this means ol' Doctor Greg received the gift of IMMORTALITY.
Maxwell himself goes next... and assumes he's going to get that nebulous power of POWER. Only, moments afterwards, he begins foaming at the mouth like a lunatic. Y'see, poor Maxie got MADNESS.
Welp, that only leaves one... looks like the power of POWER is waiting for our man Norman.
And, he's not going to accept it alone... he's brought his goofy alter-ego along for the ride!
Back to Queens, where Spider-Man finally shows up in the final issue of his flagship comic! He greets Mary Jane, whose hair has grown about a foot in the time he's been away. She brings him inside... and hoo boy, does the art take a massive dump here. I mean, some of these panels are almost criminal. Anyhoo, she tells him that MAY is alive... and being kept at Norman's hunting lodge.
Spidey's all "cool, that's just a couple hours away"... but, Mary Jane's all sorts of nervous. I wonder if she's worried about what this might mean to her modeling career! Oof, I'm sorry, that was mean. In actuality, (in perhaps the ugliest panel ever committed to paper) Mary Jane informs him that she knows deep down that this cannot possibly be true. She "felt" their baby die. Spidey figures it's worth a shot either way.
And so, the first volume of Amazing Spider-Man ends... with Spider-Man headed for Norman's hunting lodge.
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Thissssss succccccccked.
Woof. What a bad issue... a damn near criminal "final" issue. Felt like nobody involved was interested in making sure this felt like something special or monumental. I hate to harp on the importance of "legacy numbering" and stuff like that, but... to many of us, even the casuals, it matters. If you're going to ditch an entire volume, especially one that has its roots in the seminal days of the Marvel Universe... ya gotta do it with a bit more respect and care than this.
Amazing Spider-Man, while it wasn't burning up the sales charts during the late 90's, was still Spider-Man's (and arguably Marvel's) flagship title. It had near forty years of history... plenty of memorable stories, characters, and creators... and to toss it all out for a literal "blip" of relevancy in the pages of Wizard Magazine and the like... is a damn shame.
Let's look at the "care" that creative and editorial took with this landmark final issue. First, the art... suuuuuucked. Kayanan isn't a bad artist, but this was some uneven-bordering-on-lousy work he turned in... especially toward the end of the issue. Not to be hyperbolic, but, I don't think I've ever seen such bad art in a mainstream comic book. Scroll back up again if you don't believe me! This isn't how you close out a volume!
Spider-Man appeared on like three pages of his own final issue? Well, that's a blessing and a curse... at least that meant we didn't get saddled with balloons and balloons full of cringy and forced Byrne "banter". But, still... I hope my point is well taken here. Spider-Man barely makes an appearance in the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man. That's some crap right there. The Molten Man's flashback to having a chip implanted in his noggin received more paginal real-estate.
Editorial was completely out to lunch here as well. They were likely too busy patting themselves on the back with the May revelation (which we'll put a pin in for now... there's plenty more of that to come) to realize they got names wrong and there were drastic changes in appearance throughout the issue for like half the cast. Not good, gang. The week you cashed your paychecks for your work on this issue... you were stealing money from Marvel!
I minor quibble, but a quibble none the less. We had this pretty big cliffhanger a couple chapters ago at LaGuardia Airport, right? Norman was gobsmacked upon seeing... a certain character we weren't privy to. I wanna say he actually said something along the lines of "No, not you!"... annnd, here we learn it's just Mattie Franklin? No pomp or circumstance... she's just standing there in her ill-fitting geeky robe? You'd almost think there was going to be some sort of conflict... but, nope! She's just here now. Yeesh.
This is the sort of story one might refer to as a "bag of hammers falling down a flight of stairs"... and, if you were to do so... you'd be right. This was not good. I was hopeful that, with 22 years of hindsight (many of those years full of pretty lousy Spidey stories), that I might've "softened" to this one. Doesn't look to be the case! Maybe this being the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man can be looked at as a "mercy killing"... but, folks... we're not anywhere near done yet.
I hope you'll all stick with me... it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
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Fold-Out:
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Letters Page:
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Interesting Ads:
Amazing Spider-Man #440 (October, 1998)
"The Gathering of Five, Part Two: A Hot Time in the Old Town"
Guest Writer - John Byrne
Pencils - Rafael Kayanan
Inks - Bud LaRosa, Jimmy Palmiotti, Rodney Ramos, & Rafael Kayanan
Colors - Mike Rockwitz & Mark Bernardo
Letters - Richard Starkings & Comicraft's Liz Agraphiotis
Edits - Ralph Macchio
Chief - Bob Harras
Cover Price: $1.99
We're two-days into our deep-dive on The Byrne/Mackie Reboot... and, ya know... so-far, so-good, right? Well, least I think so.
Today we're going to discuss an issue written by Byrne himself (and tomorrow we've got one by Mackie), so maybe it's here where we'll get a better "feel" for what we're truly in for.
Let'sa find out.
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We open with Spider-Man hot on the trail of... the Molten Man. Now, there's a boring member of the Rogue's Gallery, innit? The Molten Man is stomping through the streets of New York City... leaving a path of, well, moltenness in his wake. Spidey's not sure what he's up to, however, as he's not like trying to steal anything or hurt anybody. Our man pops in to ask some questions... and it's as though Raxton's looking right through him. He's in a trance or something. Worth noting, at this point Raxton has been on the "straight and narrow"... though, is working for one of Osborn's companies.
Molten Man stomps through a department store, triggering the in-shop sprinkler system to kick on... which, when it hits him turns into a cloud of scalding steam. Spider-Man stops to evacuate all of the shoppers, allowing Raxton to slip away. Byrne has Spidey paraphrase a Superman tag-line, after which, he asks if he's infringed on a copyright. And, yes, all of the jokes in today's book will be just as forced and unfunny.
We shift scenes over to a seedy-looking Pawn/Antique Shop, where Norman is chatting up a creepy old man about the MacGuffins. Turns out, this fella has one of the "shards" (so, I guess that's the technical term for them). It's here we learn that during the Rites of the Five... only three participants will be granted that "great power". We'll learn a bit more about that in later on this issue.
Back on the street, Spidey is back on the Molten Man's trail. It's... ya know, probably very helpful that dude leaves a path of melted slag everywhere he walks, right? Anyhoo, Spider-Man realizes that Raxton has taken to the sewers... and so, he gives chase. Worth noting, the New York sewer system smells worse than Jonah's gym socks. Oy...
Just like in the department store before, the sewer is suddenly filled with scalding steam. Stands to reason, right? Anyhoo, Spidey surmises that the steam is upwards of 200 degrees, and realizes he's gotta get outta there before he cooks. Unfortunately, there's a ledger truck set atop the nearest manhole cover. Well, I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a call back to the Lee/Ditko "The Final Chapter", but... it's Byrne, so maybe? Whatever the case, he's able to lift the truck and escape the steam.
Ready for another forced and awful joke? I know ya are! A bystander asks where Spider-Man came from, and... well...
At this point, Spider-Man swipes a map of Manhattan from a newsstand and tries to figure out his next move. Hasn't he... ya know... swung through Manhattan every day for like decades at this point? Oh well, I guess this at least gives us a nice sight-gag? If only there were a Twitter or Tumblr to share this on back in ye old 1998.
Whatever the case, he somehow deduces that Raxton is headed toward the docks. As it turns out, at that very moment, Robbie and Alison Mongrain are arriving at said docks aboard a tramp steamer. So... we might assume this issue is happening like a week or two after the last one? Heck, I dunno how long it takes for a slow boat to travel across the Atlantic.
Just then... the Molten Man strikes... Super-Shredder style, right through the docks! Thankfully, he announces himself upon arrival. Wait, did I say "thankfully", I meant to say "mind-bogglingly".
Raxton tosses Robbie aside and b-lines it toward Alison. She takes off toward dry land. Robbie asks "what hit him", so I guess the Molten Man's proclamation one page ago that he is, in fact, The Molten Man wasn't enough for him.
Robbie grabs a conveniently placed crowbar and smacks Raxton in the back with it. It is ineffective. Lucky for him, Spider-Man has shown up. In a neat bit, Spidey webs up his fists and feet so he doesn't burn himself on the Molten Man.
While Spidey and Raxton beat each other upon the head and shoulders, Alison and Robbie plan their next move. Alison announces that they gotta find Peter Parker. Robbie protests, suggesting they stay and help Spider-Man (that's cute, Robbie). Alison winds up convincing him that it's best the flee the scene.
Spidey and Raxton fight through the dock (dude is molten, after all) and wind up in the drink. Spider-Man is almost pulled under a large barge... where he fears he might be turned into "Spider-Man pate". Oy. He manages to escape the pull and return to dry land... however, the Molten Man is nowhere to be found.
We pop over to the Osborn Building, where ol' Norman is still chatting up the old weirdo from the Pawn Shop. Their discussion is interrupted by a phone call from... good grief, the friggin' Scrier. It's... kinda funny seeing this Scrier holding a telephone, though I can't explain why. Anyhoo, the Scrier reveals that the "mission" (referring to whatever the heck the Molten Man was supposed to do) has failed. Norman, as you might imagine, isn't happy.
After hanging up on the Scrier, Norman and the Weirdo get back to their discussion. It's here we learn some more about the particulars of the Rites of the Five. Ya see, there are four "shards" plus the spindle... that much we knew. There will be five participants all seeking "great power"... yeah, we knew that too. Only three of the five will actually get "great power"... we just learned that a few pages back. But, what is this "great power"... and what happens to the unlucky two?
Well, the "great power" includes, well... POWER. Also KNOWLEDGE and IMMORTALITY. So, there's the lucky three. Those less lucky will be "gifted" with DEATH and MADNESS. So, it's a 60% chance you get something good... buuuuut, there's always the possibility that this might be one'a them "monkey's paw" sort of situations. Annnd, that's where we leave it.
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So, this was... uh... less good than the first chapter? Fair to say? From soup to nuts, writing to art... this was definitely a far weaker outing.
Let's get the Byrne out of the way. This wasn't outright bad or anything, but some of these "jokes" were pretty cringy, forced, and felt like they were trying too hard to evoke of a different era of Spider-Man. I mean, quipping about Jonah's sweat socks? The "daddy spider and mommy spider" bit? C'mahhhn. I expect a little more creativity when it comes to quips.
We did get from Point A to Point B, which was good. We got Alison and Robbie back to New York, we learned a bit more regarding the "gamble" of the Rites of the Five. Can't much complain about that. Sure, back in 1998, the latter didn't feel so much like a "Spider-Man story beat", but... in 2020, it's like those "street-level" rules don't apply anymore. It's far easier to accept this sort of tale nowadays.
The art... well... this certainly isn't up to the standards that Joe Bennett set yesterday. This is quite a bit rougher... likely not helped by the four different inkers in play here. Heck, looking at the credits, Byrne himself is listed as a "Guest Writer". Was there some sort of shake-up that made this issue a "last minute" sort of thing? Was there any reason why regular Amazing Spider-Man writer, Tom DeFalco couldn't do this one? I just feel like, if you're trying to establish a "new direction", the lead-in story probably shouldn't be treated as a rushed afterthought, no?
Oh well. I guess we can chalk this one up as being just "ehh"... and hope for a better Chapter Three.
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Fold-Out:
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Letters:
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