This past few days, there's been kind of a theme here at the blog... well, maybe a few. They are: Change, Moments of Profundity, and Walking Away. The episode I'm going to share with you today actually touches on all three!
The purpose of ReMarvel, as a program, was/is for me to rediscover everything I love about Marvel Comics. Not only that, but it also allowed me a forum where I could reminisce and share stories of my trajectory through comics fandom. I feel like a lot of folks assume that I was a "DC lifer" and had never touched a Marvel comic, which... while understandable given my content, really isn't the case at all. Quite the opposite... as I came into my more "rabid" fandom as only reading Marvel, and very seldom checking the DC "side" of the new-release table.
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X-Men (vol.2) #45 came at just about the perfect time for me... and was one of the truest comics-related "moments of profundity" to slap me across the face. I'm not sure I've expressed this here, though it might be plainly obvious, I'm very much an "all or nothing" sort of guy. I have great difficulty in the act of calibrating. I'm either "all-in", or "all-out" with nothing in between. That applies to my comics fandom as well.
If I'm an X-Fan, then... dangit, I'm reading all the X-Books, ya dig?
If it's also not plainly obvious, I definitely have some addictive qualities. My inability to let this website go might be the most recent testament to that. So, being "all-in" and addicted... collecting comics in the mid-1990's sort of ceased being a hobby, and became nothing more than a "chore". I was 15 years old, and I'd foisted this monthly "bill" onto myself. I'd feel sick as Wednesday approached, and I knew I was a few cents short of grabbing the next issue(s). It didn't help that the X-Line of books had absolutely exploded from the time I entered the hobby 4-5 years earlier. There were just so many X-Books! It was not the best of times.
With X-Men (vol.2) #45... I hit a wall. I wasn't picking up Previews catalogs at the time, so I wasn't privy to what was coming next. Knowing only that it was "X-Men (vol.2) week" at the shop, I headed in with my pittance (including my two-bucks for X-Men)... and, what'd I see?
X-Men #45 was there... and it had a price tag of $3.95! I was gobsmacked, and couldn't figure out why this random-numbered (which is to say, not a "multiple of twenty-five") issue was slapped with a gimmick cover and jacked up in price. I was informed that (most of) the X-Books were celebrating the 20th Anniversary of Giant-Size X-Men... and, so... the (core) X-Books for that month would all be of the four-buck variety!
It was at that point I realized:
- I was never going to be able to afford this month's X-Books, which would put me behind in my collecting
- Marvel could hit us with one of these "gimmick months" at any time
- We were just a handful of months away from X-Men (vol.2) and X-Force hitting their 50th issues... which, would definitely be gimmicked and over-priced
It was like I was seeing those "scales of justice". On one side was a very small stack of comics... that I was more concerned with having than actually enjoying, and on the other... a rather sizable (and ever-growing) stack of cash.
It was in that (profound?) moment that I realized I was done. It was time for me to "walk away"... and, I tell ya what... when I walked out of the shop that day, I thought it was "for keeps". I never saw myself falling back into comics again. Heck, not too long after this, I nearly got rid of my entire collection to that point. I was just done... and considered the hobby to just be part of my past.
I go into more detail during the ReMarvel episode, if anyone's interested. This text piece is more of a broad strokes take on the tale. One of the things I was hoping to accomplish with the episode was to start a conversation... I feel like, as comics fans, many of us have that story about the time we "walked away". I love hearing that story... and learning what that "last straw" might've been... if, in fact there was a "last straw" and not just a "drifting away".
Unfortunately, it was me asking that question... and so, it largely went ignored. As you know, I don't have all that much in the way of "cache". Ya likely won't get a bunch of social media karma or cred if you respond to anything I put into the digital ether. So, I guess I'll ask it again here:
- Have you ever "walked away" from comics, dear reader?
- Was there a "last straw"?
- How long were you gone?
I'm trying to get better about engaging with the comments... I apologize for my relative radio-silence on that front of late. It's been much more difficult getting back into the "swing" of things here than I'd expected. Starting to realize the "healing process" only really kicks in when you admit you need to be healed in the first place.
Omega the Unknown #1 (March, 1975)
