ACW #626 - Shazam!

Action Comics Weekly #626 (Shazam!)
"My Week in Valhalla, Chapter Four"
Writers - Roy & Dann Thomas
Pencils - Rick Stasi
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Jean Simek
Colors - Nansi Hoolihan
Editor - Mike Gold

Today marks the first of two farewell chapters we'll be checking out this week.  Though it was never made plain in the published version, Shazam! was a short Showcase Presents feature, just like that four-part Catwoman serial we covered a few months back.  If I were to guess, they were both intended as sort of "pilot episodes" to future series'.  Catwoman would go on to receive a four-part mini series (not sure if that was initially pitched as an ongoing)... meanwhile, despite the promise of a follow-up coming out of this arc... the poor ol' Big Red Cheese would get bupkis.

Maybe that's for the best...

--

We open with the new Captain Nazi pitching a fit that he's going to be left out of the big San Francisco Cyanide Spill!  Ya see, he's quite keen to... uh, "lock kiesters" with Captain Marvel.  I'm... I'm not quite sure what it means to "lock kiesters", and don't think I want to.  Anyhoo, he's handed a belt that is equipped with a sort of Captain Marvel Locating Device... but that ain't good enough.  He informs the rest of the geeks that he's the one giving orders now.  I guess not even the bad guys can trust a guy called "Captain Nazi".

We jump ahead to the flaming gas station where Billy Batson... and an innocent pump attendant have been left to die.  Captain Nazi emerges from the smoke, recognizes Billy as a Valhalla Camper, and heads over to save him.  No sooner is Billy un-gagged than he shouts that magic word!

Captains Marvel and Nazi spend the next page and a half fighting... wrapping up with Marv' dropping a mountaintop onto Naz'.

Meanwhile in San Francisco, Billy's bunkmate Sam is having second thoughts about... ya know, poisoning an entire city.  The other campers start to dogpile him, and go to pour the cyanide into the drink anyway...

... when Captain Marvel arrives!  He catches the goop before it splashes down... then lunges toward the campers to ensure no more can be poured.

He then... well, I'm not quite sure to be honest.  I think he might chase the boys down... but, after he catches them he doesn't actually do anything with them?  He literally tells them that he's "gotta fly", and he just leaves them.  We close out with the revelation that Captain Nazi survived having a mountain dropped on him... and the promise of a monthly Shazam! series, which... if based on this outing, thankfully didn't follow.

--

This... never really came around, did it?

I'm pretty sure I expressed a bit of surprise after reading the first chapter of this... I couldn't quite wrap my head around the decision to open with such a sub-par outing... especially considering this has Roy Thomas' name on it!  Turns out the reason for the sub-par first chapter was because... well, this is just a sub-par story all around.  A friend on social media mentioned that this doesn't read much like a Roy Thomas story, and I definitely gotta agree!

Let's look at this as a chapter... we've had this threat of Captain Nazi built up over the past two weeks... and, the subsequent "kiester locking" lasts all of... four panels?  Kind of a letdown... though, if they were really considering launching this into an ongoing, I suppose the had to save something for that.

The cyanide threat... was more much ado about nothing.  I mean, Captain Marvel didn't even drag the kids off to the police or anything.  For all he (and we) knows, they shook off the shock of being confronted by Captain Marvel... and remembered that they had a few more canisters of the stuff in the back of the bus... and went right back to poisoning the Frisco-ites.

I guess my main complaint is that this just feels "undone" and certainly lacks every bit of the polish we've come to expect from a story bearing Roy Thomas' name in its credits.  Part of me wonders how the promised ongoing series would have went... but, I'm mostly just glad it didn't.  This story (and version of Cap) has been retroactively relegated to Earth-85, and I think we're all better off for it.

Tomorrow: The return of... Gino?

--

Your Moment of Vartox:

From Action Comics #499 (1979)
Cary Bates (w) / Curt Swan (a)

After meeting... and immediately falling in love with Lana Lang, "Vernon O'Valeron" holds out all of five minutes before spilling the beans on his entire origin story.

ACW #625 - Shazam!

Action Comics Weekly #625 (Shazam!)
"My Week in Valhalla, Chapter 3"
Writers - Roy & Dann Thomas
Pencils - Rick Stasi
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Jean Simek
Colors - Tom Ziuko
Editor - Mike Gold

Hard to believe we're already to the penultimate chapter of our Shazam! feature!  These "short-subjects" just fly on by, don't they?  Catwoman was similarly "blink and you miss it"... only difference tween that and this is, that one didn't fall apart until the very end!

--

Picking up where we left off last week, Billy has fallen through a rooftop window right into the arms of the newly-minted Captain Nazi.  After asserting that he has no "Jewish blood" in him, the big bad lets him down.  The Sons of Valhalla leaders are near-giddy that their experiment was a success, they don't even really mind the interloper.  In fact, Leader Davis appears to appreciate the boy's moxie.  He allows Billy-as-Duane to sit in and watch as they run Captain Nazi through his paces.

His fists are like hammers, and he has the ability to fly.  Davis takes it a step further when he brandishes a pistol and fires a shot right at the Captain.  C.N. manages to catch the bullet without even thinking... he then uses his "Eyes of Surtur" heat-vision to melt the piece.

Davis then turns his attention to Billy.  He feels he owes him an explanation of sorts.  If you remember the armored car standoff from Chapter One, well it turns out Leader Davis kinda knew how that would all play out.  He sorta sent Duane's (the kid who Billy is impersonating) father out as a sacrificial lamb.  He knew Captain Marvel was living in San Francisco, and also knew this standoff would cause him to show up.  When he did, the Sons of Valhalla recorded his "Alpha Wave Pattern" (whatever the hell that is), so now they'll always know anytime the Big Red Cheese is within 100 miles of them.  Convoluted? Nahhh...

We ain't done yet, though!  It's also here that we learn what Leader Davis has planned for Camp Valhalla's "Graduation Exercise".  The boys will bus into San Francisco, and... get this... dump cyanide into the water supply.

We jump to the next day, where all of the boys are getting loaded on the bus.  All of the campers are pretty gung-ho about the exercise... except for Billy/Duane and his bunkmate, Sam.  Once on the open road, however, the driver commands that "Duane McCullers" be bound and (naturally) gagged.  Ya see, Billy Batson's a pretty famous TV reporter... so, it stands to reason he might just be recognized.  Whoops.  Well, actually... no, nobody actually recognized him.  I mean, if a local station had a "kid reporter", I think most people in and around that city might be able to point him out of a line-up.  Turns out, the real Duane shows up and spills the beans.

The bus driver pulls into a gas station, smacks the attendant with the butt-end of his rifle, then sets the place on fire... leaving poor bound and (most importantly) gagged Billy among the flames!

--

Now, this just ain't very good, is it?

Before getting into the story proper, I feel like the bit on the bus drew a bit too much attention to Billy Batson-as-celebrity.  It's one of those things that, really, should be obvious.  I mean, how many major market television news outlets have a well-known "kid reporter"?  Stands to reason if one did, people might be able to recognize him... even if it's only to locals... which this whole gaggle of geeks happens to be!

I'm all for "suspending disbelief"... I mean, this is comic books.  But, if we're going to accept that Billy Batson can work "undercover", we need not draw attention to the fact that he's a pretty famous kid!  This is like pointing out that Superman hangs around with Lois Lane a bit much... or Batman endangers the lives of children... it's stuff we (the readers) can know and point out, but when the folks inside the story do, it kinda opens a novelty can of spring-loaded worms.  Least it does to me!

With that out of the way... the story.  Now, I'm on record as being mostly ignorant regarding all things Captain Marvel.  He's a character I really want to dig... but, I've never actually "put in the work".  I can own that... I'm not going to pretend I have this deep fandom when I actually don't (that's a rarity on the internet, ain't it?!).  That being said... I have this nagging feeling that this just isn't "right".  Ya know?  This doesn't feel like "Captain Marvel" to me.

I couldn't tell ya what Captain Marvel should actually feel like... for one, I'm not digging the current Geoff Johns "Burger King Kid's Club" Shazam! stuff... but, this feels even a step behind that.  Really not sure how an ongoing of this sort of Cap would have worked.

Overall... it looked pretty okay, but at the end of the day, this was a three-chapter build-up to a likely underwhelming Captain on Captain fight scene.

Tomorrow: The Secret Six are back to business-as-usual... groan.

ACW #624 - Shazam!

Action Comics Weekly #624 (Shazam!)
"My Week in Valhalla, Chapter 2"
Writers - Roy & Dann Thomas
Pencils - Rick Stasi
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Jean Simek
Colors - Nansi Hoolahan
Editor - Mike Gold

So, last night I found myself sitting in front of the television. Outside of a few shows (usually the same ones I've seen dozens of times), I don't watch a whole lot these days... but, last night I figured I might as well check out some of the streaming services we pay for every month.

Well, I stumbled into Amazon Prime, and was shocked (bamboozled, even) to learn that they have... Supermarket Sweep!  I was floored.  Couldn't imagine A) Why a streaming service would carry that show? and B) Who in their right mind would watch it?  Well... for the answer to that second question, look no further than your humble host.

Suddenly, I was transported back to the dawning of the 1990's.  I thought about how much fun this show was... ya know, during the three or so minutes people are actually "racing down the aisles" and not solving word jumbles to see if a mass of letters actually says NABISCO or TRISCUIT.  Then, ho boy... the host.  David friggin' Ruprecht comes charging to the front of the "store"...

Who in the heck dressed this guy?  I mean... uh... part of me really wants that sweater, and would probably wear it unironically... but, holy smokes... if we zoomed in on that pattern, it'd be like the opening to Saved by the Bell.  Ya know, the more I look at it... the more I want it.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not the only one who feels that way...

David Ruprecht's sweater collection is coveted by many an otherwise normal individual.  Anyhoo, I sat through an entire episode, and... as always, the team who had earned the most "sweep seconds" during the boring question-and-answer segments won the game.  They even won the $5,000 grand prize and celebrated with all of the folks they'd beaten during the end-credits... which included...

Ed... Flesh?  Well, at least now we know who skinned all the clowns it took to make Ruprecht's sweater!

I decided to stick it out, and check out a second episode... not so much for the actual "Sweep" action... but, more to see what ol' David was wearing.  Lemme tell ya, homeboi didn't disappoint:

Yikes... and Gadzooks... so that's what happened to Great-Nana's tablecloth!  I'm gonna try and watch more Supermarket Sweep in the next few weeks... and so, you might see a "David Ruprecht Fashion Watch" section show up here every now and again.  Heck, we might even be able to include the contestants (warning: you might want to dim your screens for this).

Well, thanks for coming everybod... err... oh yeah!  Wait a minute!  We're here to talk about Captain Marvel today, ain't we?  Well... let's get right to it!

--

We open with Billy Batson arriving at... sigh... Aryan Acres.  I probably don't need to explain the "gimmick" of this campground, but the jist of the story is: Billy has taken the place of Duane McCullers, the brother of that girl who chucked the lamp through the television set last week... and the son of the fella who Captain Marvel accidentally "killed".  Anyhoo, our boy is greeted by a motley crew of Neo-Nazis and some Neo-Nazi-hopefuls.  I mean, this one kid is wearing an "Adolf Hitler European Tour" t-shirt.  Ay yai yai.

The Neos immediately slip into their archetypal roles... we've got an overbearing "camp counselor", a just-following-orders "youth leader", a bully, and a kid who we can immediately tell has a good heart... and is only there because he has to be.  The good-hearted kid, who we'll call Sam... because that's his name, escorts Billy to their cabin.  Along the way, they pass the "Main Building"... and find out that it's completely off-limits to campers.

Arriving at their cabin, Billy takes in the sights of some pretty over-the-top propaganda posters they've got hanging up.  Sam goes on and on talking about all the fun they'll have... but our boy is lost in thought, reflecting on the actual purpose of his "vacation".

We get a page of training montage, where Billy learns to fire a gun (at pictures of prominent Jewish and Black leaders, naturally), he sits in on sermons about the coming "White Revolt".  He also wrestles, and learns how to stab a dummy?  Okay.  Anyhoo, we jump all the way to the final night of camp, and Billy-as-Duane checks in with his bunk-mate, Sam... who is really struggling with some second-thoughts.  Sam tells him he's not buying all of the racist ideology being spouted... and he's got a sneaking suspicion that "Duane" feels the same way.  Billy stammers for a moment, nearly blowing his cover, before affirming that... he's all-in on the teachings of Aryan Acres.

We learn that something big is gonna be going down in San Francisco in the next few days... to which "Duane" wonders aloud how they're going to get around the "Captain Marvel Problem".  Sam reveals that he'd heard through the grapevine that the Sons of Valhalla have thought of that... and are currently working on something to that effect in the main building.  That night, Billy sneaks out of his cabin and climbs atop the main building... which, conveniently has a pretty big skylight.  Boy, I hope he doesn't accidentally fall through!

He (and we) looks on as Steve Rogers is injected with a Super-Soldier Ser... err, well... some blonde dude is injected with something.  Suddenly, this 98 lb. weakling explodes into a mass of muscle!  An aura around him reads "Hero of the Reich"... okay, okay... no it doesn't.

Just then... Billy, sigh, falls through the skylight... and right into the arms of the brand-new... sigh... "Captain Nazi".

--

Here's the thing about this story.  It's over-the-top to the point where I can't take it seriously... but it's not so over-the-top that I can start to find it funny.  Know what I mean?

I feel like this is all supposed to be taken "straight"... as though there'd actually be a campground called "Aryan Acres" with anti-Semitic and anti-Black sentiment on their banner.  Maybe I'm just naive... but this seems a little too outrageous.  You'd think that maybe this place might be raided by the authorities, no?  Especially considering one of the "Sons of Valhalla" had a widely-publicized (and fatal) run-in with Captain Marvel.

The assortment of characters we meet here are your standard fare.  Slipping immediately into archetypes, we'll never have to question their motivations... they just are "what they are"... with nil in the way of subtlety.  I mean, from the moment we meet Sam, we can tell he's going to wind up being one of two things... an ally, or a victim.

The Captain Nazi reveal... well, it works... the original Captain Nazi was a Captain Marvel villain, so why not?  If we look at the DC Wikia for this fella, it looks like this take on him was a one-and-done for this Showcase story... which is (for some reason) relegated as having taken place on Earth-85.  Ya see, Earth-85 is numbered as such because that's the year Crisis on Infinite Earths happened... and it's kind of a repository for all of those "problematic" post-Crisis debuts that DC eventually decided didn't really fit.  So, like a lot of Hawkman stuff... also, the Milligan/Bachalo Shade the Changing Man... that Catwoman story we covered a few months back, and, the Roy/Dann Thomas Shazam!.  Here's a snip of their list:

So, yeah... this was "something".  Still not digging it all that much.  I feel it's walking the line between "straight" and "satire" just a bit too well, if that makes any sense.  As it won't commit to being either, it sorta fails at both.  Ya follow?

I'll leave you today with that Billy Batson Training Montage:

Tomorrow: Tony's Story

ACW #623 - Shazam!

Action Comics Weekly #623 (Shazam!)
"My Week in Valhalla, Chapter One"
Writers - Roy & Dann Thomas
Pencils - Rick Stasi
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Jean Simek
Colors - Nansi Hoolahan
Editor - Mike Gold

Welcome to the second SHOWCASE Presents feature of Action Comics Weekly!  If you recall, a few months back we had a four-part Catwoman serial under that branding... and today, we begin a four-part Captain Marvel Shazam! one.  Ugh, I hate that they don't call him Captain Marvel anymore.  I still will be during our discussion.

Anyhoo, if you wanna take a look at some of what got Billy here (in this continuity), you can check out the four-part Shazam!  The New Beginning mini-series we discussed here wayyy back in 2016.  Just click the cover, and you shall be delivered!

Let's get right into it!

--

We open with Billy Batson waking up.  While he goes about hi morning rituals, a radio broadcast plays... it's reported that the police are in the middle of a "Mexican Standoff" with some armored car thieves... and so, our young man says that magic word.  We head across San Francisco, only to find the standoff is still a'happening.

One of the baddies presses his pistol against the head of a civilian.  A split-second before he can pull the trigger, however, Captain Marvel slips his hand between the piece and the face.  This causes the gun to backfire, killing the would-be shooter.

Cap doesn't take this turn of events all that well.  A news reporter attempts to get a word with the hero, but he isn't able to put into words what just went down.  He flies off to his Uncle Dudley's apartment and "Billies down" before sharing his story.

Just then, a phone rings.  It's his boss from WHIZ-TV, Elvira Thickert... and I tell ya what, this woman looks like an Elvira Thickert.  She also kinda looks like the woman from the Bonkers Candy commercials, if you remember those.  Anyhoo, she wants him to look into the gang that attempted to pull the armored car heist.  She claims they were a part of the Neo-Nazi group called the "Sons of Valhalla".  Billy's gotta head into the slums and have himself a chat with Dawn, the newly dead guy's daughter.

Dawn tells Billy a bit about her family.  Her father joined up with the "Sons" after losing his farm.  The organization convinced him that he only lost his farm because of a "worldwide Jewish plot".  Ay yai yai.  Anyhoo, now her brother Duane's gotten wrapped up with the group... and will be attending a Sons of Valhalla Summer Camp in a few days.

They continue chatting, when news of the day's events are played on the television.  Captain Marvel is briefly seen... to which, Dawn chucks a lamp through the screen.  Good job, now ya got nothing!  Billy, with a tear in his eye, promises to help her.

--

This... was okay.

Something I don't get about the Showcase Presents (which, as a descriptor, is missing from this story) features is... these are supposed to be stories to whet the readers appetite in hopes that an ongoing title will follow... right?  Least that's how I've been taking it.  Maybe that's just the way Showcase used to be... I dunno.

Reason I say this is... you'd figure if that was the case, the creative teams would come out "guns blazing" with more of a bombastic and memorable story.  I mean, I've read this feature before... a couple of times, and darned if I could tell ya a thing about it.  Heck, I just read this chapter a few minutes ago, and I'm sorta struggling!

Not to say this was bad, because it wasn't... it's just, outside that dude's gun backfiring, it wasn't all that memorable.  Hopefully in the coming weeks this one will pick up.

Tomorrow: After three weeks, the return of Deadman!