The Essential X-Lapsed, Episode 047 - X-Men #37 (1967)

 

The Essential X-Lapsed, Episode 047

X-Men #37 (October, 1967)
“We, the Jury…”
Writer - Roy Thomas
Pencils - Ross Andru
Inks - Don Heck
Letters - Artie Simek
Colors - blind
Jury-Stacking - Honest Irv
Edits - Stan Lee
Cover Price: 12¢

Finally... FACTOR THREE!

No more lollygaggin' and beating around the bush... it's time to finally get down to it.  Our heroes are faced with the menacing mutants behind the clandestine organization bent on world domination.  Not only that, they're put on TRIAL by them!

Plus: Mutant Mail-box (featuring a missive by VIP Peter Sanderson, Jr. - and a brief biography of the actual Comics Historian himself... delivered by your favorite Fake-Ass Comics Historian), the Bullpen Bulletins Page (featuring an argument about the MMMS Rankings!), Stan's Soapbox, and much more!

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The Essential X-Lapsed, Episode 46 - X-Men #36 (1967)

The Essential X-Lapsed, Episode Forty-Six

X-Men #36 (September, 1967)

"Mekano Lives!"

Writer - Roy Thomas

Pencils - Ross Andru

Inks - George Bell

Letters - Sam Rosen

Colors - ?

Edits - Stan Lee

Cover Price: 12¢

Today our Merry Mutants are truly down on their luck... not only is the X-Mansion nearly robbed, but the kids realize that, without Professor X -- they're dirt poor!  So, what is a hero to do?  Why, head down to the Welfare Office in your Rolls Royce to beg for some cash!  And no, I'm not joking...

The X-Men also look for some blue-collar work, and take part in the most touching Father and Son reunion this side of that episode of Saved by the Bell when Zack's dad wouldn't take him fishing.

All that, plus our usual back-matter nonsense... including a Letterhack or two trying to get one over on Stan the Man!

--

https://www.patreon.com/xlapsed

X-Lapsed Voicemail: 623-396-5375 (or, 623-396-JERK)

Twitter: @acecomics / Instagram: @90sxmen

weirdcomicshistory@gmail.com

chrisandreggie.podbean.com

The All-New, All-Different chrisisoninfiniteearths.com

facebook.com/groups/90sxmen

BONUS BOOK - Atari Force (1983)

BONUS BOOK - Atari Force, Code Name: Liberator (January, 1983)
"Liberator Mission: Freedom--or Death!"
Writer - Gerry Conway
Pencils - Ross Andru
Inks & Edits - Dick Giordano
Letters - John Costanza
Colors - Adrienne Roy

Hmm... we don't get much of a "cover" this time out... which is a tad bothersome... but, just in case it's not clear... today we're going to be closing out 2019 with the Insert Preview of Atari Force (Code Name: Liberator).

This was yet another preview to originate in the pages of New Teen Titans... however, since it was a licensed book (Atari being a registered whatchacallit of whoeverthehell), it actually shows up in two comics bearing the January, 1983 cover-date!

• DC Comics Presents #53
• New Teen Titans #27

There are gonna be a couple more Insert Previews that appear in more than one book that we'll be getting to over the next few days.  Believe it or not, we're already about halfway through 'em!  Perhaps even more than halfway through, since I just discovered I don't own 'em all!  We might need a Vartox-Week size miracle for me to track 'em down in time!  I guess time, and the next handfulla days, will tell!

Let's get to it!

--

Our story actually begins on the "cover" page (seen above)... where an Atari Force pilot named David is in the middle of a firefight with, uh... the bad guys.  He's on a comm-link sort of thing with a very blonde man named Martin who is trying to guide him through the process.  Unfortunately for big Dave, it looks like his story has already been written... and he is sploded into many many bits.  Ya know, at this point, I was sure this was going to be revealed as being a "VR Simulation".  Ya know, it's based off a video game, named after a video game system... stands to reason that this might just be more of that... but, No!  David's actually dead... dead-dead.  Martin laments the loss of his pal.

Ready for some table-setting exposition?  I sure hope so, cuz we're getting a big heaping dollop of it.  This story is occurring in the far-flung year of... 2005.  Wow, the future was such a long time ago!  We move into a conference room of sorts where we get the lay of the land.  The Atari Force is engaged in something called Mission: Liberator... and, as such are using a Star-Fighter called... the Liberator.  A handy screen shot shows us that this here Liberator really puts a lot of stock into... well, fuel, from the looks of it.

The bad guys are revealed as being aliens called the Malaglow.  Wow, try saying that three times fast.  Looks like the baddies have taken over many planets and enslaved many'a people... and it's up to the Atari Force to end their reign of terror.

Martin reveals that their next mission volunteer will be drawn from a lottery of sorts... and a fishbowl full'a poker chips begins to levitate.  From the bowl, Marty picks a chip... and we learn that the Liberator will be piloted by Bob Marcus, who just so happens to be the brother of dead-David!  He is more than a little bit jazzed to get the opportunity to get his pound of flesh outta the green guys!

And so, next thing we know Bob's about to take off.  He decides to leave before getting all of his instructions... realizing full-well that this might just be a suicide mission!  Looks like he's not exactly planning to walk away from this one...

From here, we jump to Malaglow territory, and the Liberator releases a trio of remote drones to ward off the "welcoming committee".  Whattayaknow, Bob's able to take 'em down with ease!

Next stop, a Malaglow Slave Planet... which just so happens to be launching missiles!  Hmm, that's somewhat familiar... it's almost like their Defense is Missiles!  Bob maneuvers around the onslaught and knocks the artillery out of the sky.

In freeing the slaves... well, I guess they're free... the Malaglow realizes the Ataris aren't screwing around... and so, they launch a massive saucer-craft.  For all the pomp and circumstance of its introduction, Bob takes it out in like two panels.

Back on Earth, Martin and Company have received a delayed transmission from the Liberator... so, they have a pretty good idea that Bob is still alive... or at least, he was... somewhat recently.  The message is optimistic that the worst is behind them... which, we in the biz call "famous last words".  Not sure why we needed a full page to recap the last half-dozen, but... whattayagonnado?

Back to Bob, who's still blowin' stuff up in space.  He approaches the Malaglow Master Base... however, any time he fires at it, the planet appears to change rotation.  Not sure how helpful a defensive tactic this is... but, it's really got ol' Bob thrown for a loop.

We get two more pages of Bob trying to figure out this riddle... it doesn't matter where he blasts the planet... the darn thing just keeps a'spinnin'.  Ultimately, our man realizes that... hey, I've got more than one laser on this rig... and so, he fires at two different locations on the planet.

This does the trick, halts the frog-faced Malaglow's celebration... and frees the slaves?  I mean, there's a prrrretty big explosion here, not sure how any of the slaves survived it!

We wrap up with Bob Marcus reporting his successful mission into the Atari Force... and preparing to leave a newly-liberated planet.  Our "next issue" blurb doesn't promote the ongoing Atari Force series... but the trio of mini-comics that came packed with assorted Atari 2600 games.

--

Just like I said during our recent Captain Carrot discussion, I feel, as a self-proclaimed fake-ass comics historian that I ought to have more of an affinity for Atari Force.  I mean, I love comics and I love video games... so, it stands to reason that I'd love this, right?

Well, truth be told, I've tried covering Atari Force here at the blog before... and have never been able to get through the first issue!  I didn't think it was bad or anything, I just couldn't connect to it.  One of my (very) few rules about "content creation" (that I wish other content creators would also adhere to) is that the person creating said content must be passionate about what they're talking about... at least a little bit.  I wasn't, so I didn't.

I almost got excited enough to "press through" about a year and a half ago, when I had been given access to the back-room of a local comic shop.  While back there, I found a bunch of stuff that the casual comic shop patron wouldn't care less about... old fanzine stuff, catalogs, retailer-exclusive magazines from the 80's and 90's... and, as luck would have it... one of the Atari Force mini-comics that had been packed in with a 2600 game!  I snagged it (for a buck) and figured it might be a neat thing to include on the blog.

Then, I tried reading it... and, man... again, I just couldn't get into it.  Rather than do the book and its fandom a disservice, I decided just to file it away.  Asamattafact, I filed it away so well... I couldn't even tell ya what room in my house it's currently in!  Oh well.  I guess I won't be including a picture of it here today!

So, with all'a my nonsense out of the way... what'd I think of this story?  Well, it wasn't bad... but, again, I didn't feel any stakes or investment in the characters.  I will say that I was about 95% sure that Bob Marcus was going to bite it in the end... so, his survival was a bit of a surprise.  Art was solid... dialogue was decent... really, just another inoffensive insert!  If you're a fan of the Atari Force concept, well, this is where it all began!

With that, I wanna wish everyone a Safe and Happy New Year's Eve!  Be careful out there... and I'll see ya next year (don'tcha just hate when people say that?)!

BONUS BOOK - Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew! (1982)

BONUS BOOK - Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew (February, 1982)
"This Bunny Unbound!"
Writers - Roy Thomas & Gerry Conway
Pencils - Scott Shaw! & Ross Andru
Inks - Bob Smith
Letters - Gaspar
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Editor - Len Wein

Man, it's no joke that New Teen Titans was kind of the "straw that stirred the drink" for DC Comics back in the early/mid-80's... we're about to cover a handful of Insert Previews/Bonus Books that first appeared in issues of that particular mag!

We begin with a look at the... I dunno, "re-imagining" of the Funny Animal genre?  A blend of the Funny Animal and the Superhero... it's Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew! (though, the Crew doesn't really play much of a factor in the story we're about to look at).  This preview first appeared in New Teen Titans #16 (February, 1982)... which is pretty early in the run.  It's cool when we realize that the New Teen Titans concept itself kicked off the Insert Previews of the era... and is now being used as a launchpad for new and revitalized IPs!

Let's get to it!

--

Our story opens in Metropolis, where Clark Kent is delivering the WGBS evening news broadcast.  Top story of the day is people, ordinary humans, are going from acting completely normal one moment... to wild apes the next!  After the report, Clark heads off to investigate the situation in his "work clothes".  He spies a fella who was in the middle of crossing the street... when he is suddenly bathed in a glowing light, and reverted to ape-behavior!

After wrangling the man-ape, Superman decides to head into the altitude and see if he can track down the source of that light-beam... which he feels came from, of all places, Pluto.  What he discovers is that the Earth is surrounded by a sort of energy barrier... which, somehow, a glowing meteorite is able to effortlessly pass through.  Our man grabs hold.

The thing goes boom... shattering into a half-dozen pieces.  The flash of light from the blast manages to temporarily blind Superman as he plummets back toward... the Earth?

Flyin' blind, Superman attempts to find his way back to the Daily Planet Building.  Once inside, he finds it curious that his head keeps hitting the ceiling.  Oh well, looks like Superman's become a giant again!  As he laments in the panel, it wouldn't be the first time!  He changes back into his Clark Kents before anyone might see him, and goes to sit down at his desk... 

... Only, it ain't his desk!  It's the workstation of Roger Rabbit (not that Roger Rabbit), the creator and artist of the Just'a Lotta Animals comic book series!  As you might imagine, the bunny is pretty freaked out at the giant pink monster who just tried to sit on him.

Clark gets his bearings and tries to reconcile just where he might've wound up.  It's clearly not the same Earth he'd woken up on that morning, that's for sure.  Turns out, he's not at the Daily Planet, but inside the building of Wombat Communications.  Perhaps a play on DC's parent company Warner Communications?  Anyhoo, we (and he) can see that the entire world is comprised of anthropomorphic animals.  The most interesting part of this page to me is a newspaper that mentions a Prez... which, makes me hope they're talking about that Prez.  As Clark and Roger try and figure things out, the latter heads over to his window box to start chowin' down on some carrots.

Roger tells Clark that they're having similar evolutionary problems on his Earth... ordinary anthropomorphized animals are his with a beam... and start acting the way they "used to"... kinda like the humans on Earth-1 acting like apes, ya dig?

It's probably worth noting that the carrot Roger is eating is... glowing.  Superman notices this fact, and uses his x-ray vision to get a better look at the window box.  It would appear that a rogue chunk of that meteorite landed there!  He swats the carrot away...

... which causes (a now-glowing) Roger to recoil and punch the Man of Steel through several walls of the building!

After apologies are exchanged, Superman vows to get a better understanding of everything that's going on.  Meanwhile, Roger realizes that not only is he super-strong... he's also got super-hearing, and... well, super-everything.  Once Superman's gone, Roger heads back into his office to try on an old superhero Halloween costume.

Before long, he's already caught up to Superman... who, is pretty shocked to see puny Roger all buffed up.  Also, flying!  Well, okay... not actually flying, he's got more of a "Hop, Skip, and Jump" trajectory.

Together, they head to the U.N. Building (that is, United Nature)... where all of the anthro-aminals have "reverted to type"... which is to say, they're acting like, ya know... amin... err, animals.

Roger proclaims himself to be "Captain Carrot", and the pair'a heroes get busy saving the animals from themselves.  When the dust settles, a bevy of television monitors around the U.N. podium begin to light up... it would appear that there were five other Funny Animals affected by those rogue meteorite shards, and given powers beyond anyone's wildest imagination!  There's our Zoo Crew!

The story ends with Superman revealing that all of their problems have originated on Pluto... and Captain Carrot following him to their next adventure (which we've already discussed here... ages ago!)

--

Ya know, as a self-proclaimed fake-ass comics historian, I've always felt like I should like Captain Carrot a whole lot more than I actually do.  I mean, it's fun enough... I just can't help but to feel that it falls just short of actually being interesting.  It kinda gets tackled on the one-yard line for me, ya know?  Almost there, but not quite.

What we get here, however, is probably my... I dunno "favorite" Captain Carrot story?  Probably... well, almost certainly, due to the Superman bits... and it's actual connectivity to DC Universe lore.  I thought having two different artists for the two different characters was an awesome touch to boot!  It gave the story a very... uh, Roger Rabbit (that Roger Rabbit) look and feel.

As for the story... well, it's light and fun.  Nothing offensive, though I suppose your evolutionary mileage may vary?  In revisiting plenty of these Insert Previews (or Prevues), it's pretty eye-opening seeing how many have Roy Thomas' name attached.  He was new to DC at this point, and it looks like they were rolling out the red carpet for him... just letting him explore different concepts and genres, and carving out his own corner of the universe.  As much as I kinda get the dry-heaves over just giving a newcomer carte blanche, especially in the "nowadays"... at least back then, the stuff that Thomas was doing didn't usurp the entire direction of the company!

This was decent enough... and, worth checking out.  If you're a Captain Carrot fan, you're going to really dig this.  If you're not... well, there's still a Superman story here to enjoy!  And heck if we're being technical, an entire issue of New Teen Titans sandwiching it!  This story is included in the SHOWCASE Presents: Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew! volume.

UPDATE (February 11, 2020):
Advance Look at Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew, from Amazing Heroes #5 (October, 1981):

UPDATE: February 16, 2020:
A blurb from Amazing Heroes #1 (June, 1981) regarding the return of the "Funny Animal"

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Interesting (and Relevant) Ad:

Superman #204 (1968)

Superman #204 (February, 1968)
"The Case of the Lethal Letters"
"The Duplicate Superman!"
"The Fortress of Fear!"
Writers - Cary Bates & Otto Binder
Pencillers - Ross Andru & Al Plastino
Inkers - Mike Esposito & Al Plastino
Cover Price: $0.12

Here's one from the... "hey, that's a pretty neat cover" collection!  I really considered bolding every single "L" in this piece... before thinking "hey Chris, that's probably a bad use of your time..." (not that that's stopped me before).

Anyhoo, let's find out what lurks behind dem Lethal L's!

--

We open on one of those Silver Age skip-aheads that usually wind up spoiling most of our story.  Here it's doesn't really spoil much... just that Superman has decided to hang up his cape!  An unseen figure standing in the foreground comments that everything is going according to plan.  But... how did we get here?  Well... Clark Kent was a special guest on the popular television talk show, "Point Blank".  Suddenly the host, Lorraine Delon goes into a trance... and delivers a message to Superman that he must quit fighting crime... or else those closest to him will pay the ultimate price!  Clark ain't buyin' it... nor should he.

After the show, Clark starts to head home via Metropolis' brand-new monorail.  While there, he runs into his old friend (and current TV reporter) Lana Lang.  He allows her to board first... however, no sooner does she step foot inside the rail-car, than the doors slam shut and it takes off at ludicrous speed!  Fearing a derailment, Clark Supes-up and saves the day... he is, however, unable to find Lana when the dust settles.

Clark... returns home for the evening, which strikes me a bit odd.  You'd figure he'd be hot on the trail of whoever kidnapped Lana... but, nah... he'll just head home and read about the abduction in the evening edition of the Planet.  His leisurely reading is interrupted by a telepathic message from Lori Lemaris... who's having her clock cleaned by a strange-looking (but happy!) undersea menace.

Clark supes-up again... however, arrives just in time to see Lori vanish.  Using his super-deductive skills, Superman figures that his foe's next target will be Lois Lane... because, ya know... LL initials.  It's all very scientific.

And so, the following day... instead of trying to rescue Lana and Lori, Superman spends the entire day flying the skies of Metropolis with Lois in his arms.  Lois is pleased to see that Superman's hunch didn't come true.  Welp, not so fast kemo sabe... suddenly a sniper takes aim, and blasts the skybound twosome.  The shot causes Superman to flail... and Lois to vanish!

It's now that we rejoin the opening bit, where Superman is about to announce his retirement.  Waitasec, isn't he out of LL friends?  Is he worried the bad-guy might get confused and kidnap Lex Luthor next?  Well, probably not worth thinking too hard about.  Anyhoo, it's here that we learn that the super-secret foe was actually... talk show host Lorraine Delon!

Before we know it... like seriously, I was afraid my copy was missing some pages... Superman bursts through a wall, and finds himself stood before a GIANT pair of L's.  Like, where would a bad guy even get something like this made?  Maybe Lex Luthor would be ridiculous enough to have a giant set of initials hanging about... but c'mon.  Anyhoo, the initials burst into flames... just like on the cover!  And yes, this will be very important.

We learn that the flames actually consist of something called Q-Energy... something strong enough to kill Superman (and will likely never be mentioned again).  Superman crawls toward the baddie, who removes her wig and glasses revealing herself to be... Lorraine Lewis!  Wait, who?  Well, Superman recognizes her... so that's all that matters.

While Superman lay dying, she (thankfully) fills us in on her backstory.  Ya see, she is a brilliant (female) scientist who had the hots for Superman... and so, she set to impressing him by helping him with his super-exploits... ya know, like creating a ray to send bad guys to the Phantom Zone!  Wouldn'tcha know it, while lining up her shot Lois Lane jumped in with some Gold Kryptonite to save the day!  Lorraine still sent Bal-Gra back to the Zone... but nobody was really paying attention.

Next, during an assembly introducing Lorraine Lewis's "healing ray" a lunatic pulls a gun and attempts to destroy it.  Before Lorraine could act, Lana Lang shoves the would-be shooter down.  Once again... another L.L. girl has stolen her thunder!

Finally... some stuff was going down unduh-da-sea... and by the time Lorraine arrived, Lori Lemaris and her Atlantean buddies have already saved the day.  I mean, c'mon Lorraine... they live there, of course they're going to get their first!  Anyhoo, now Lorraine's decided that if she can't join him... beat him (and ya know, take on a new identity and become a successful talk show host), and so... she created this nebulous Q-Energy.

Superman realizes that the warehouse they're in has weak floors... and so, with his last bit of energy, he bashes through them.  This somehow causes Lorraine to fall backwards into the Lethal Letters, where she disintegrates into a pile of dust!  Wow, that just got real.  Superman rescues his friends... and they happily skip off, thankful that justice has been done.

Well... if that wasn't strange enough, let's check out a Demand Classic, reprinting a tale from Action Comics #222 (November, 1956).  We open with the military testing a brand new Cobalt Bomb... which is apparently a hundred-times stronger than a hydrogen bomb.  Think about that for a second!  That's one big-ass bomb.  It's all moot, however... turns out the C-Bomb (that's what they call me when I breakdance!) was a dud (also, that)... and so, Superman is called in to retrieve it.  Of course, it blows up right in his face.

What he doesn't realize is that it also blew him into two separate beings!  This results in an unintentionally hilarious scene of the Supermen bumping into each other in an alley... testing each other's powers... and even bathing in hot lava to prove their superpowers.

It looks like they're both the real deal... however, upon deeper inspection, they discover that they're each missing a single power.  One cannot use his telescopic vision, and the other is missing his x-ray vision.  And so, they decide to name themselves... Superman-X (for the one with x-ray vision) and Superman-T (for he who can telescope his vision).  This is starting to feel like a story I would have written back in elementary school!  They also flip a coin to see who gets to be Clark Kent first.  Ay yai yai.

The winning flipper heads off to have dinner with Lois, where he "absent-mindedly" holds on to a match for too long, which should have burnt his skin... but didn't. Lois is convinced that Clark Kent is Superman... again.  Suddenly (the other) Superman arrives, mostly to make her look like an idiot... again.

Over the next few pages, each Superman is put in situations that exploit their one missing power.  This forces them to creatively use their remaining powers to get the job done.  These are some pretty neat scenes.  Along the way, Superman-T notices that his skin has began to tingle (I guess the T can stand for both telescopic and tingly... wow, that sounded vulgar).

Superman-T then goes on to steal a gold idol from the museum (with a $25,000 value!).  Superman-X hears the news from a radio broadcast, and decides to check it out and confront his imperfect dupe.

And they fight!

The banter might be the most painful thing here

Until Superman-T engages in some supertrickery to convince Superman-X that a fire rages in the distance.

Made ya look!

Now it gets weird... er.  Superman-T unwraps the gold idol, revealing it's lead casting underneath.  He makes a shield out of it... then flies into outer space to stop a Kryptonite meteor from crashing into the Earth!  Suddenly, Superman-X's telescopic vision returns... and he knows that his "other half" is no more.  He sheds a single tear... and I'm just confused.

Our final tale definitely doesn't live up to the two we just read.  Superman's having a "day off" at the Fortress of Solitude... only to find it's been taken over by... something.  Why, he can't even settle in for a game of Super-Chess with his terrifying humanoid assistant!

Before long, the entire Fortress has gone nuts.  Superman receives a warning from his Super-Computer... well, a partial warning.  Then the interplanetary zoo opens releasing all manner of beast!

The foe reveals itself as being from Pluto... the coldest outermost planet of the solar system.  Kind of thinking small here, no?  I figure Superman's met critters from further out than Pluto!  Anyhoo, this proclamation reveals the baddie's weakness... heat!

And so, Superman heat-visions it... loads it into an inescapable glass container... and hurls it into space where it can't hurt anybody ever again.  Another one of those "fates worse than death" that Superman loves to foist on his enemies...

What, no Phantom Zone Projector?

--

Had more fun with this than I expected... even if the third story was kind of a dud.

Let's start with the first one, because I have the least to say about it.  I always wonder what's going on in a writer's head when they have Superman punish a baddie by imprisoning them for all eternity.  I've said it before, and likely will again... these punishments are worse than death!  Imagine that poor Plutonian today... still floating in space... in a glass tube.  No hope of escape... no hope for death (unless it can starve to death... and if that's the case, Superman comes off looking even worse!).

Some of the visuals at the Fortress were kinda neat.  I dig the idea of Superman settling in for some Super-Chess with some crazy robot... but overall, I could've done without this one.

Still working backwards, let's chat up our Demand Classic from the mid-fifties.  We could probably start with the question... could the planet survive this proposed "Cobalt Bomb"?  In my (ever so) brief research on the subject... it was kinda raised as a "thought experiment" on a theoretical "doomsday device" capable of ending all human life on Earth by physicist Leo Szilard back in 1950.  Yeah, yeah... this is comics... nevermind.

The fallout resulting in Superman getting a dupe reminded me a bit of Kryptonite Nevermore, wherein a Sand Superman emerges after a Kryptonite-Powered engine explodes in Superman's face.  I wonder if Denny O'Neil might've borrowed a bit from this story... eh, probably not.

We've talked before about how some of these old Superman stories really overcomplicate things... and this is no exception.  The ending... with Superman-T pretending to have gone rogue, so he could sacrifice himself is something that would've made Rube Goldberg shake his head.  Why go to such great lengths?  And... is the golden idol the only thing on the planet that contains enough lead to make a shield from?  Why not just go get some lead... make a shield, and fly into space without engaging with Superman-X?

I gotta say though... we didn't see a body for Superman-T.  I wonder if he's still out there somewhere... he might've been a better pick for Mr. Oz!  Definitely a deeper cut... but, if we're being honest... there are probably Superman clones littered throughout the Golden and Silver Age... I'm sure Superman-T ain't the best of 'em.

Our opening story was... this might sound mean... it really felt like something a kid might write.  Hell, all three of these stories feel that way.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, it just hinders a jerk from 2017's ability to fairly analyze them.

The LL's is something that maybe shouldn't have been mentioned in canon.  I mean, as fans, we all realize that much of Superman's cast... and most of his love interests have the same initials.  This didn't really need to become part of the story.  This would be like all the alliterative characters at Marvel getting snuffed out.  It's kinda silly... okay, it's completely silly.  That being said... I still had a blast. 

Speaking of "blasts"... wow, poor Lorraine!  I find it funny that watching a woman disintegrate into powder didn't seem to affect Superman, nor any of the LL's.  I'd figure I'd have to be hospitalized after seeing such a thing!  Instead, the good guys all skip happily away...

Gotta figure there'd be some explaining to do though, right?  I mean, Lorraine Whatsherface was a public figure... I think people might notice that one of the top-rated talk show hosts disappeared.  Again... this is just me thinking too hard/too much.

Overall... a really fun first two stories, with a dud for a capper.  Still something I'd encourage any Super-fans to check out!

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(Not the) Letters Page:

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Interesting Ads:

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