NML Crossing, Episode 018 - Robin #53 (1998)

NML Crossing, Episode Eighteen

Robin (vol.2) #53 (May, 1998)
“Cataclysm, Conclusion: Flattened
Writer - Chuck Dixon
Art - Staz Johnson & Stan Woch
Letters - Tim Harkins
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Edits - Gorfinkel & O’Neil
Cover Price: $1.95

It's taken us eighteen entire episodes, but we have finally arrived at the Cataclysmic conclusion!  Today we're going to find out who the Quakemaster REALLY is... or was... and, in so doing, your humble host (who is denser than most) will have to eat a little bit of crow!

Also: Batman befriends a dog!

Plus: Another extra-stuffed NMaiLbag! 

NML Crossing on Youtube

https://gothamquake.com

https://chrisisoninfiniteearths.com

weirdcomicshistory@gmail.com

NML Crossing, Episode 008 - Robin #52 (1998)

NML Crossing, Episode Eight

Robin (vol.2) #52 (April, 1998)
“Cataclysm, Part Seven: Tribunal”
Writer - Chuck Dixon
Art - Staz Johnson & Stan Woch
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Letters - Tim Harkins
Edits - Gorfinkel & O’Neil
Cover Price: $1.95

Holy Red Sky Crossover, Batman!

Today's chapter of Cataclysm... well, isn't really one!  We're going to be paying off an ongoing story arc in Robin, and getting our boy home in time to see the Gotham skyline engulfed in flame.  Please listen anyway... we've got NMaiLbag, and my usual bulletproof analysis.  Um, please listen anyway.

https://chrisisoninfiniteearths.com

weirdcomicshistory@gmail.com

NTS #4 - Bobcat

New Talent Showcase #4 (Bobcat)
"Bobcat"
Writer - Mike Tiefenbacher
Pencils - Stan Woch
Inks - Karl Kesel
Letters - Andy Kubert
Colors - Shelley Eiber
Edits - Karen Berger

Now, when I see a title like Bobcat... and the opening panel prominently features a woman, I'm immediately going to assume that she will be revealed as the titular character.  Is that sexist?  I hope that's not sexist.

--

We open with little Davey Tresh having his mother put some Neosporin on his scrapes.  Ya see, this kid has been dealing with a serial bully named Billy Myers.  It seems like every day, Dave gets his butt whupped.  Telling his folks only makes it worse... because Dave's dad calls Billy's dad... and, lemme tell ya, that ain't never a good idea.  All'at will getcha is more whuppins.  Davey is a fan of "big cats"... he's not quite a Tiger King or anything, but he's certainly a fan.  He play-acts beating Bully-Billy up with his cat models... breaking one in the process.  That night, Dave's sister reveals that our boy Davey might've been cruisin' for a bruisin' this fine day... as she overheard him singing "I wish I was a Billy Myer's wiener".  Ouch!

That night, Davey hits the hay... and has a wonderful dream that he is a big cat... hunting down a Billy Myers-faced rat!

The next day at school, Dave learns that the Myers family leaves Billy home alone at night... and, somehow, this gives him an idea.  He still falls for the "Spell 'I met'." (I am E.T.) gimmick... which, when I was growing up was "Spell 'I cup'."... maybe it was regional?  Anyhoo, that evening, David puts his plan in motion... he uses his "Christmas Ink" to dye his little sweatsuit black... then practices acting like a big cat in the bathroom (with the water running to cover up his growls and grunts).

Davey heads downstairs to dinner... and gets the third degree from Mom.  She asks what he was doing in the bathroom all that time with the water running... which, I feel is a line purposely setting me up to say something perverted... but, I won't.  Anyhoo, Dave pretends to start sleepwalking at around 7:30 and heads up to bed.  Upstairs, he "suits up"... and prepares to give Billy Myers Wiener the scare of his life!

And, well... he does just that!  Turns out Bill Myers actually is kind of a wiener... though, if I were in fourth grade and suddenly saw a glowing-eyed anthropomorphic cat beast howling in a tree in my side yard, I'd very likely have to change my drawers.  Hell, if I saw I regular critter howling in my tree I'd start sweating!  Anyhoo, it looks as though our Davey might have a little of the Catholic guilt in him, because he immediately decides to come clean... reveal to Billy that there's no cat-beast outside... it's just him giving him a fright.

Billy comes around pretty quick... and suggests that maybe they become friends.  He's got an attic they can have all sorts of adventures in... which, ya know, sounds like how an after-school special might start.  Whatever the case, the kids decide to put their differences aside... and Davey is christened as: Bobcat.  He heads home... hootin' and howlin'... and annoying some neighborhood dogs.

--

So yeah... this was not at all what I was expecting!  I had this pegged as some throwaway street-level deal with a lady (Davey's mom) in a catsuit.  I couldn't be happier that my hot-take was completely and totally wrong!

I had a lot of fun with this... it was a sorta silly coming of age bit, but I feel it did a lot of things right.  Having been a kid, not unlike Davey, I had my share of bullying done at me.  I remember having to plan alternate routes home to avoid certain blocks or houses.  I can definitely relate to what this character was going through.  Feelings of powerlessness, anger... and maybe being just enough of a smart-ass to sorta-kinda deserve a butt-kicking or two.

I really dug this... though, I must say... I'm not sure I'm really looking forward to where this is headed (if, in fact, it is headed anywhere).  This opening chapter just tapped into so many memories for me... simpler times, but when little things meant the world, ya know?  Feels like Davey's entire world revolves around trying not to get beat up at school... which, sure, really sucks... but, at the same time, in the greater scheme of things, isn't much more than a hiccup in a lifetime.

We met artist Stan Woch in an earlier NTS... but, Mike Tiefenbacher is a newbie.  There isn't all that much I'm able to dig up about ol' Mike... heck, his DC Wiki page doesn't even list him as a writer on this story!  What I have found is that Mike wrote a handful of backup strips for DC Comics Presents... and also provided some pencils for the Funny Stuff Stocking Stuffer.  Of note, he was at one time the Executive Editor for the Comics Reader fanzine, of which I've actually happened across a copy or two in my travels.  Love coming across the ol' zines.  It makes me nostalgic for a time that I didn't even live through!

Overall, this was a fun little feature, and I'd love to see more like this.

Tomorrow: The Feral Man

NTS #3 - Forever Amber

New Talent Showcase #3 (Forever Amber)
"Confrontation!"
Writer - Rich Margopoulos
Pencils - Stan Woch
Inks - Steve Montano
Letters - Duncan Andrews
Colors - Jeanine Casey
Edits - Roger Slifer

Today we say goodbye to the feature I was certain was going to be New Talent Showcase's flagship strip... Forever Amber!  Not sure why, but I really thought this was going to be our one "constant" throughout most of the run.  Probably because it was the cover feature in NTS #1... and the first story in the book.

Whatever the case... today it ends!  Not sure if Amber is Forever-Gone, or if she'll be back down the line... though, well... if I were a betting man, I'd figure it best to say our goodbyes to the fair Servant of Kali today.

--

Our final chapter picks up right where we left off last week, with Amber being held up at some warehouse by a group of police officers... one of whom promises to splatter her "pretty brains" all over the wall should she get out of line.  He continues running her down, and even tosses a few racial epithets for good measure.  It looks as though all hope is lost for our Amber, when suddenly... gunshots!  Remember how last time, that one rapist guy was trying to sell all that opium... but Amber turned it all to, well, amber?  Well, this is the fall-out from that.  The rapist has very likely just been shot to death.  All the cops, but one, rush off to the "tub" to find out what all the hub-bub's about.  Lucky for Amber, the officer left guarding her is sympathetic to her situation.  He too is of mixed race, and knows how difficult that can be... he assures her that America is still a land of opportunity and sends her away.

We follow Amber all the way to... her father's house!  Wow, I wasn't expecting to meet him quite this quickly.  She knocks on his door, as the Sun Stone glows.  When he answers... get this, he's overjoyed to see his daughter!  He rushes for an embrace, which Amber returns... and they both start crying.  The End.

...
...
...

Okay, it's not really the end.  Inside, Amber and Mr. Jones catch up.  All seems to be going well, if not a bit reserved.  Amber finally asks her big question: Why did he abandon them all those years ago?  Well... I hope you're ready for some exposition, cuz I'm about to deliver dollops.

Ya see, Roderick Jones was a Combat Engineer in the Vietnam War.  While on R&R, he met Su Wan, fell in love, and dey make'a da baby.  Su Wan was already with the Circus, and Roddy was called to the field... so their relationship seemed doomed from the start to be a short one.  Fast-forward later in the war, Roddy is exposed to Agent Orange... and his quality of life plummets.  He's discharged, and broke... but still sends whatever he can to Su Wan and Amber.  He never called for them to join him in America, because, as he puts it... he's a "rotting corpse gradually rotting away."

This sends Amber and a weird "This is America" style rant... she just can't believe that the government would turn its back on its people this way.  Dad explains that, back then, everyone had "blind faith" in Washington, D.C. and didn't ask any questions.  During Vietnam, really man?  Ya tellin' me there weren't any... I dunno, "movements" during that era?  Hmm.  Anyhoo, the discussion is interrupted by a ringing phone.  It's Jones' buddy Scully... and, from the sounds of it... somethin' big is about to go down.

Ya see, there's this Army General Brillhart speaking out against the Vietnam Vets who have been pressuring Congress for more medical aid... and, well... the Vets are pretty ticked.  So ticked, in fact, that they've kidnapped the General!  What's more, they're planning on executing him... tonight!  Dad decides he's gotta intervene and stop his pals before they do anything they'll regret.  Amber insists she come along as well... and so, she does.  Before we know it (18 minutes later), Amber bursts through the door of the place where the General is being held.  She does her "Kali this, vessel that" spiel while wiping out a gaggle of Vets.  When finally stood before the General... well, let's just say, this dude's a real piece of work.  He breaks out a Fred Blassie line, mocking Papa Rod for being a "Pencil-Necked Geek".

Brillhart assures the Vets that he has no fears about dying... which, might just be his way of trying to call their bluff.  Welp, Scully don't play that... and instead of backing down... he raises his rifle to around the General's eye-level.  Jones, however, steps in before he can pull the trigger.  Then, it's Amber's turn to talk.  She reflects on a time where she and Su Wan tried getting into the American Embassy... and were given the boot by some Colonel.  She draws a single rose from a nearby vase.  Wow, nothing sets the stage for an execution like a vase full of roses!  These Vets sure know a thing or two about the romance aspect of an assassination.  Anyhoo, she picks up the rose... and turns it Forever Amber!

She then threatens to do the same to the General... annnnnd, knowing this broad ain't screwing around, he finally gives up.  He begrudgingly tells the Vets that, while he can't actually help them fight for their benefits... he can stop running their names through the mud.  The Vets are cool with that.  We wrap up with Amber and Daddy Rod walking up to the United States Senate for a hearing on Agent Orange.  The End... probably?

--

Betcha weren't expecting this to be a story about the fallout of the Vietnam War... because, I sure wasn't!

This wasn't bad or anything, it just went a whole 'nother direction from where I assumed it was heading.  Really not sure why we even needed Amber to have her Sun Stone powers for a story such as this, ya know?  She only really used it a couple of times... and, it was more as an "added" thing than anything outright intrinsic.  She could very well have beaten up any number of goons using her actual fighting prowess... and, heck, there had to be another way she could'a FUBARed the Opium deal.  She could've "Secretly replaced their regular drugs with Folgers Crystals" or something.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, with all the set-up... it feels like Amber was being built for more than just this type of story.  I feel like she should be sparring with Super Villains, not threatening some General with a rose she turned to glass.  I mean, what's next: Amber stands up during the Senate Hearings on Agent Orange and starts ominously and threateningly waving her Sun-Stoned hand around?

Let's talk pacing, because... boy howdy, did we get quite an exposition dump today!  Feels like multiple chapters worth of information was plopped in our laps... so much so, that we're barely given the opportunity to digest it all before the story ends.  I wonder if this was always planned as a three-part arc, or if Margopoulos and Company assumed this would run a few more issues before wrapping?  It feels to me like the first two-parts were (relatively speaking) lollygagging compared to this.  This was some breakneck "go-go-go" stuff.

Again, it's not bad or anything... I just wish it had more time to "breathe".

Speaking of "breathing"... I don't actually own New Talent Showcase #4 (and try as I may, I haven't been able to find it anywhere over the past several weeks)... so, this feature might be going on a bit of a "breather".  No worries though, I've got plenty more in the works, including a whole new (very-much DIY) "Showcase" I'll be introducing this weekend.  Should be fun, especially for readers who want to see some more stuff from the actual DC Universe here.  I'm really looking forward to it.  We've also got Superman's Birthday on 2/29... so, expect something kinda weird that day too!  Hopefully, before long, we can pick up with NTS where we left off!  Heck, maybe I'll find it in the next couple days to render this entire paragraph completely meaningless!

NTS #2 - Forever Amber

New Talent Showcase #2 (Forever Amber)
"Transition!"
Writer - Rich Margopoulos
Pencils - Stan Woch
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Andy Kubert
Colors - Jeanine Casey
Edits - Roger Slifer

Man, it feels like it's been Forever... since we last read Amber... or something.  In fact, it's actually been fifteen days!  If you need a refresher on exactly what's going on, feel free to pop over to Part One!

--

We open with Amber approaching a sketchy-looking bar located at a Thailand port.  Inside she bee-lines it over to two fellas who she hopes might be able to provide her with safe-passage into San Francisco.  The one dude tells her to buzz off... to which, she plops a sack full of jewels in his lap.  The other dude still thinks taking her along isn't worth the risk, and pulls his gun... to which, she tells him to go ahead and shoot her!  Ya see, their tub is set to meet up with an opium dealer somewhere offshore... and her death might just cause the authorities to begin sniffing around.

And so, they decide to let Amber tag along on their trip to the States.  We catch up with them a few nights later, when one of the fellas in charge enters Ambers room... and proceeds to force himself on her.

Amber tries fighting him off... even starts shining up the Sun-Stone in her palm to take care of the scumbag "for good"... but, decides against it.  Her only purpose right now is revenge against her father... and so, she just lets it happen.

Until... they are interrupted by shots being fired by the Cambodian Pirates they're supposed to be doing the Opium deal with!  Ya see, the Pirates seem to have changed their minds.  They'll take the payment... but, now they've decided they're going to keep the merchandise too!  Oh, and they're going to kill everybody on board too.  So, yeah... bummer day.

Amber ain't gonna take none'a this laying down, and so she gets all up in the Pirate's face... to, well, offer sexual favors if he lets her live.  The Pirate doesn't even have to think about it... he refers to her as a tramp and goes to push her away.  When he does, however, he notices the Sun-Stone embedded in her hand... and decides he wants it for his own.

At this point, Amber's got no qualms about firin' that bad boy up and making it do the hoo-doo it does.  With but a smack, the Head Pirate in Charge is turned to... forever amber.  The Pirates and the Smugglers then start rumblin'!

It isn't long before the Smugglers come out on top... and, at this point, Amber's taken control of the entire operation.  She orders the dead pirates tossed off into the sea... and the Smugglers (including the fella who, just minutes before forced himself on her) all oblige because... I mean, she's one scary broad!

Six weeks later, the tub arrives in San Francisco... and our Smugglers learn the hard way not to screw with our gal, Amber.  When they go to seal-the-deal on the Opium sale... turns out, Amber got there first, and used her weird alchemical powers to turn the booty into glass.

We wrap up with Amber attempting to get into some sort of warehouse... only to be discovered by the Po-lice.

--

This was pretty great!  I feel like so far (I mean, we're only two issues in...) New Talent Showcase is ending with its strongest story.  Last week, Class of 2064 blew me away, and now Forever Amber really killed it!  This chapter was just awesome.

When I first opened up to this one, I assumed it would start with "Three Months Later... in the United States" or something.  I didn't think we'd actually see her travels... or really, have any reason to.  I feel like, in showing it, we get to see just how "down and dirty" the underworld can be.  Amber, really not having any other options... and at this point, nothing left to lose, is forced to just let things happen... so long as it leads to her ultimate goal.  This was an uncomfortable read... but, worth it.

I also dig that we learned that Amber's powers can work on actual "things" rather than only on people.  Her turning the opium into just shards of amber was pretty cool... and, we gotta assume that her sex-pest very likely paid the ultimate price for that.

Really good stuff here.  Not sure how many more chapters we have for this feature.  I'm hoping (though doubting) we have many more to come.

Tomorrow: The compilation of 2
Then: Ho-Ho-Ho... or, izzit Oh-Oh-Oh?

NTS #1 - Forever Amber

New Talent Showcase #1 (Forever Amber)
"Forever Amber!"
Writer - Rich Margopoulos
Pencils - Stan Woch
Inks - Rick Magyar
Letters - Duncan Andrews
Colors - Jeanine Casey
Edits - Roger Slifer

Being a daily blog, I kind of miss out on those opportunities to kinda just sit back and, for lack of a better term "bask".  I'm writing this piece on January 31... so, the anniversary day for this site.  A day I probably should just be taking a deep breath and relaxing... pleased with the fact that I made it through yet another year.

But no... instead, I'm reading New Talent friggin' Showcase.  Wish I knew what was wrong with me!  Oh well.

So yeah, New Talent Showcase... I know I've threatened it a time or two during the latter half of Action Comics Daily... and the response I would get each time was... mixed.  A few people were interested in exactly what sort of stories we'd get from NTS... others, I suppose already knew what sort of stories we'd get.  In all honesty, I've tried reading this... a few times, and it never held my interest all that long.  I can say with confidence I never even finished this first issue!

Well, starting today: we're gonna try.  Now, please wait a moment before clicking the back-arrow on your browser, or swiping left or whatever the hell we do on mobile devices.  New Talent Showcase is just one of the things we'll be covering for the next little while!  Having learned a pretty powerful lesson in "reader retention" during our near-year of Action Comics Weekly, I'm going to try and keep things from becoming too stagnant here by rotating three different features going forward.

The agenda is thus: we're going to do the first issue of New Talent Showcase... then, something else... then, something else... then, New Talent Showcase #2, and so on.  Ya dig?  As long as I'm able to keep things straight... this should be kind of fun.  Either that, or I will literally be just left talking to myself.  I guess we'll find out, eh?

Ya know, it's funny... four years ago I was toiling away on a Forensic Psychology project regarding Amber Hagerman... which actually led me to the creation of this very blog.  Here we are kicking off our fifth year... with Forever Amber!

--

We open with a woman just having infiltrated a treasure trove of sorts.  Before her, if we can sift passed the overly-flowery narration captions, we can see an idol surrounded by jewels and what-not.  She swipes as much of the loot as she possibly can, when she notices that the very idol itself has some very valuable-looking jewels set insides its eye-sockets.  She spies a hunk of Gold Quartz in the right-eye, and decides to go for it.  When she does, the bugger starts to sizzle... and actually fuses into the palm of her hand-meat!

The resulting, ya know, searing pain prompts her to recall just how she got herself into this predicament.  We jump into flashback land, where we learn that she hails from Vietnam and is of mixed race... her mother Taiwanese, and her father (presumably) an American G.I. (who our protagonist has never met).  Our gal, Amber, spent her childhood being shunned by the rest of the Orie... er, Asian children, for being different.  She grew up (to the ripe old age of sixteen or so) performing in sort of a traveling circus.

Amber's mama, Su Wan, holds out hope that daddy will eventually come back and save them from this life.  In fact, she regularly prays before his framed photo.  We learn that, while he hasn't come to "save them", he does send them money (and love?) with regularity.  Amber's pretty much over it... she tells her mother to, more or less, "grow up", and slaps down daddy's shrine.

She stomps out of their tent... and passes by a Hindu Priest named Nuri.  He gives her a bit of a spiel that conflates Buddhism and Hinduism... and, as I'm no religious scholar, for all I know this might make sense.  He invites her into his tent to pitch a sort of baptism... in the name of Kali... wherein our gal would become a "living instrument" of the Dark Goddess.  Fair enough.

Time passes, and the Vietnam War ends.  The South falls to the North... and the United States suffers a humiliating loss.  This sends many a South Vietnamese into hiding and/or fleeing into nearby Cambodia.  Amber and Su Wan travel to a refugee camp in Thailand... and it's not a great life.  Worth noting, this Vietnam War news comes to us courtesy of... The Daily Planet!  So... does that mean Forever Amber is officially part of the DC Universe?!  Maybe we'll find out... though, probably not.

Amber continues performing... though, not in an official "circus" capacity.  She does her acrobatics to wow the crowd, all the while her partner, Ho Diem picks their pockets.  We learn that she's resorted to this unsavory method in order to pay for her mother's medication... Su Wan has fallen quite ill.  Oh, and ol' Ho Diem has quite the hot-pants for our Amber.

Time passes... and Su Wan dies.  After Amber discovers the body, she spies the photo of her hated G.I. father on the nightstand.  She blames him for Su Wan's death... and vows revenge.  He too will die... but, by her hand!

Amber bids Ho Diem farewell... forever... and heads off to Cambodia.  She had learned that a Dacoit Temple there housed many riches... riches, with which, she can "buy her revenge".  This brings us back to the present, where Amber... now with added gem-palm... finds herself surrounded by a gaggle of Dacoit Faithful.  They presume to test her, to see if she is worthy of keeping the "Sun-Stone".  With Amber shattering their sword with but a swipe, I'd have to say... so far, so good.

The Dacoits continue their assault, prompting Amber (the woman) to respond to one with a palm-strike to the chest.  This palm strike turns the fella from flesh and bone to... well, amber (the crystalish resin).  The poor goofball shatters into a million pieces.

The attackers keep attacking... however, Amber is more than capable of holding her own.  A blast of light emits from the Sun-Stone, which manages to blind a few of her would-be assailants.

She then breaks out of a full-nelson when she sorta overhead-throws this one eyepatched Dacoit.  He goes flying right into the blade of yet another Dacoit.  Worth noting, the dialogue around this point is... really quite bad.  We all know that comics ought to be more "show" than "tell".  This little bit gives us a whole lotta both.  I mean, the goof with the sword actually proclaims: "My drawn dagger-! No!! He landed upon it... exactly as the blonde vixen planned!".  Ay yai yai.

At this point, exhausted Amber decides to try and bluff her way out of this.  Even though she can barely stand, she remains strong... and, more or less, dares these Dacoit to come at her.  Rather than doing so, the attackers all bow to her.  She has proven herself worthy, not only of the Sun-Stone, but to as much of the loot as she can carry.  The bid her leave in peace.

We wrap up with Amber preparing to board a ship bound for America.

--

So... a little dry.  Well, maybe more than a little dry.

I feel like, if you're going to launch an "experimental" title like New Talent Showcase... you might wanna do it "with a bang", so to speak.  While I can't necessarily hold its placement against Forever Amber... I do question why this got the lead-off spot here.  Just seems a bit too, I dunno story-heavy, to really grab a new reader.  Though, perhaps I'm just projecting.

So, what do we got here?  Well, we got a lot of story.  They really crammed a whole lot of graham into this one... which, while a bit dry, did a really good job of setting the table and getting as much of the exposition out of the way.  In light of that, hopefully subsequent chapters will be able to swing a bit freer... and move at a brisker pace.

Now, I can't pretend to completely comprehend the Gestalt of this piece.  I'm no religious scholar either, so I don't know how fast-and-loose the creative team is being with the various faiths and whatnot.  That didn't pull me out of the story, so I suppose it's kind of a moot point (for me).  I dig the idea of Amber trying to seek out her father for revenge... and am actually kind of looking forward to following up with her search.

The fantastical elements added here with the Golden Quartz embedding itself into Amber's hand was pretty cool.  Gotta wonder how that will wind up playing out over time.  Overall... this wasn't bad.  I was honestly kind of dreading it... but, had a decent enough time.  Hopefully the rest of the stories here can keep up!

Now, since some of the New Talent Showcase stories are one-and-dones, I figure we should "meet" our creative teams with their first appearances in the run.

Rich Margopoulos... didn't do much at DC Comics.  In fact, Forever Amber looks like it might be it.  He did do some work for Harvey, Archie, and Marvel from the mid-1970s to the late 1980s however.  Worth noting, he is the owner of a Bachelors Degree in Philosophy and Religion from Stockton State College (now Stockton University) in Galloway, New Jersey... so, he probably had a pretty good idea what he was talking about with the religious content of this story!

Across the table sits Stan Woch.  A graduate (?) of the Kubert School, and a fella we've actually covered here.  He does good work, and was moderately prolific at DC Comics throughout the late 1980s.  Looks like he only kept active in the industry until around the turn of the century.  Still, not a bad body of work!

Tomorrow: Meet the Sky Dogs!

Detective Comics #567 (1986)

Detective Comics #567 (October, 1986)
"The Night of Thanks, but No Thanks!"
"The Face of Barricade!"
Writers - Harlan Ellison & Joey Cavalieri
Pencillers - Gene Colan & Stan Woch
Inkers - Bob Smith & Dave Hunt
Letterers - John Costanza & Todd Klein
Colorists - Adrienne Roy & Shelley Eiber
Editor - Len Wein
Cover Price: $0.75

Hmm... if a cover openly proclaims that the story within is "off-beat", well... you know I'm all in!

Crack the bugger open and see Gene Colan art... well, hell... this is gon' be good.

--

It's an ordinary Gotham night... just minutes past midnight.  Batman is on his nightly patrol and sees an armed individual rushing into a small neighborhood market.  Our man springs into action, however... finds that the shop owner seems to have the matter in hand.  Upon seeing the Batman, the owner asks if he'd contact the police for him.

Forty-Two minutes later, Batman comes across a mugging in an alley.  He rushes to aid the elderly gal getting her pocketbook swiped, however... finds the tough old bird seems to have the matter in hand.  She asks our man to make himself useful... and to go call the police.  And so, Batman makes his second crestfallen walk to the call box.

Thirty-One minutes pass, and Batman spies a potential jumper standing on the ledge of a high-rise building.  Knowing that time is of the essence, he swoops down to make the save.  Catching Batman out of the corner of his eye, the jumper, well... jumps!  Luckily, an officer is able to catch him before he plummets to his death.  Upon noticing Batman, the officer gives him the ol' thumbs up.

Twenty-Six minutes later, Batman gleefully sees a drug deal going down.  This is pretty funny... after this uneventful eve, he's actually giddy to see some heads he might be able to crack.  He swoops down... only to gum up the works on a GCPD undercover sting.  Whoops.

Seventeen minutes later, we find Batman sitting on a park bench... before he's able to drift to sleep (and probably be arrested for vagrancy) he sees a young lady being tailed by three young fellas.  He creeps up behind them to get a better idea what's going on, only to find that... it was just a boy chasing his girl to apologize for something he'd said earlier.  Batman is visibly disappointed that he didn't get to break some bones.

Eighteen minutes pass, and Batman happens upon a man trying to enter a parked car via pry-bar.  Batman puffs out his chest, and starts reading the fella the riot act... only to learn that the poor goof accidentally locked his keys in his car.  That is to say, he was breaking into his own vehicle.  Wonk wonk.

At 3:19 AM, Batman sees someone climbing a ladder next to a jewelry store.  I'm getting this picture of Batman was walking around Gotham all night.  Not in the Batmobile... just walking around... and it's pretty surreal.  Anyhoo, this gimmick is kinda growing tired... the person on the ladder is a repair-person working on the shop's transformer.  She's pleased to see Batman though... because she needs someone to hold her flashlight.

Twenty-Two minutes later, Batman finds himself standing before a large oafish man... clearly a "Nightstalking Strangler", according to Batman.  The "Strangler" is chomping away on a candy bar... and as he passes Batman on the sidewalk, he chucks the wrapper on the ground.  A-ha!  Batman's finally earning his pay... he shouts at the oaf to pick up his litter!  And he does!

Our night with the Batman ends at Wayne Manor at 4:16 AM.  Alfred delivers Bruce his morning tea, and asks how his night went.  A downtrodden Bruce rests his chin in his hand, and proclaims it to have been the most miserable night of his life... and considering the "bad nights" Bruce has experienced, that sure is saying something!

Our back-up story features Green Arrow, and opens with him fallen at the feet of the skull-faced Barricade!  What a terrible name for a supervillain... it's like "Get up, Ollie... and face the terror of... Obstruction!"  Anyhoo, 'Cade expresses to Ollie that they have already met, and proceeds to explain that he was originally the Monk known as Lars.  Lars found the Book of Ages... which, when opened, melted his face off!  Must have had a collection of Millennium in there!  We learn that for as long as Barricade holds the book, the effect would not be permanent.

Off to the side lurks a young woman called Onyx.  She holds the Wisdom Key that Barricade needs to reverse the spell of the Book.  'Cade sees her... and turns his attention away from Ollie.  All the while, Ollie is firing arrows at the skull-faced gent... hopeful that he will knock the Book of Ages away from his person.  He is unsuccessful to this point.

While Onyx and Barricade struggle, Black Canary peeks in from a hole in the ceiling.  Onyx tosses the Wisdom Key to her... however, before she can make off with it, Barricade punches the wall... causing her to plummet to the ground below.  The baddie prepares to pounce... and it's at this moment that Ollie fires off the lucky shot that knocks the Book of Ages from 'Cade's person to the ground.

The story wraps with Onyx meeting a fella in the park.  He gives her a key, and she walks away.  Not sure what the significance of this scene was without context, but... that's that.

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This feels like a story that I shouldn't like, but I'm not gonna lie... as I read this, I must have had the goofiest grin on my face.  It feels out of character for Batman, sure... but, damned if it wasn't a lot of fun.  I suppose it should also be noted that this issue is the final one with Len Wein as editor... it would fall under Denny O'Neil's purview with the next issue.  I guess if you're going to release a Batman story with iffy and a bit off-center characterization, this would be the most appropriate time to do so.  This is probably the final issue of 'Tec that could be considered pre-Crisis... so why not have some fun with it?

I did a bit of research on this issue, mostly to find out what the "After Fifteen Years" meant in Harlan's note to Julius Schwartz.  Found out from the Sequential Ellison website that he had promised Julie he'd write a Batman script... and I suppose it took him a decade and a half to "make good".

In spite of how much fun this silly story was, I will admit that the gimmick wore thin around the third "near miss".  I think by that point, the cat was out of the bag... and we kinda knew the score.  It was still funny to see, but the law of diminishing returns was certainly in play.  I have very little experience with Mr. Ellison, though I know his name usually carries great weight in science fiction and just writing in general.  While I appreciated the tone and theme of the issue, I gotta say... wasn't terribly keen on the dialogue.  It felt a bit exaggerated, especially the final panel where he describes that night as the "most miserable of his life".  I mean, that's patently ridiculous, but considering the "gag"... ehh, I dunno... still didn't like that.  Gotta also mention that Gene Colan's art here is excellent.  Really great stuff here.

This is another issue where the back-up suffers due to the strength of the lead-off story.  Despite my misgivings above, I still really dug "Thanks, but No Thanks." it's ending, however, just sorta happens.  Felt like I was just barely passed the staples, and the story I was diggin' on so much (and getting lost in) just ends... I wasn't ready for that.  To then go to an inoffensive, but completely unspectacular Green Arrow story... gave me a real deflated feeling.

I can't say I've ever really been a fan of back-ups.  If I had my way, the main story would fill the entire book... but I understand why DC might want to give some page-time to their "second stringers", so I can't hold it against them.

Overall... strong, if silly, leading story that I would recommend to all Bat-fans.  This really puts the character, who is far too often portrayed as the "Bat-God" in a new light.  Seeing his frustration, candor, and self depreciating (at times) sense of humor, really worked for me.  It felt like a quite appropriate bridge between the pre and post-Crisis Batman.  The back-up... was a story.  Without context, I cannot really say that it was good or bad.  I'll say that it bored me, but... again, without context, even the best stories might do the same.  As an overall package, definitely recommended.  It is available digitally.

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