Lobo #17 (1995)

Lobo #17 (July, 1995)
"Lobo, P.I. Part IV: White Hoot!"
Writer - Alan Grant
Penciller - Val Semeiks
Inker - John Dell
Colorist - Gloria Vasquez
Separations - Android Images
Letterer - Bill Oarkley
Assistant Editor - Peter J. Tomasi
Editor - Dan Raspler
Cover Price: $2.25

So, whattaya do when it's Friday the 13th... and you wake up thinking it's Saturday?

The answer to that question, and a whole lot more... probably ain't found in the discussion below.

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We open with Lobo busting out of the cee-ment drum he'd been jammed in by Big Jake and his gang (I'm assuming) last issue.  He then shambles into The Gutted Gizz (ew) Bar, and asks the barkeep if he's got any info on ol' Big Jake.  He sees a swarm of detectives and learns they're in Hammer City searching for the missing "Eddie the Head".  We got everybody from Angel and the Ape to Kojak?!  Hell, Columbo, Holmes, and Detective Chimp too!  Really fun page.

Lobo thinks to himself... maybe the best way to find Big Jake, is to have Big Jake come a'lookin' for him.  And so, he stomps through Hammer City, and busts up all of Big Jake's businesses.

With his day's work complete, Lobo heads back to his headquarters... in Al's Diner.  Notsomuch noteworthy, but I wanted to share the pic anyway... Lobo is greeted by the mailman as he makes his way inside.

Inside, Al... of Al's Diner, is fretting about his new neighbor... ya know, the Main Man.  He's worried that Lobo is going to wreck his place (which, I'm guessing is sort of a running gag here?)  Lobo stomps in and makes a beeline to the kitchen... though, not before checking the ripeness of Al's wife's caboose.

In the kitchen, Lobo digs through a large freezer... and procures, (the appropriately named) Eddie the Head!  He tosses the noggin in the microwave to thaw it out.

When Eddie comes to, he's none too pleased.  Turns out folks have been looking for him because he has a certain formula for explosives in his... well, head.  Lobo figures maybe turning up the heat might get him to spill the beans.

Elsewhere, Big Jake receives word that Lobo has messed with all'a of his businesses... also, some jacked-up Dick Tracy gets a call about Lobo tearing up a bunch of businesses.  Looks like there's a major whacking and/or bust in the works.

Back in Al's Kitchen, Eddie the Head starts telling Lobo the explosives recipe... which includes Corn Flakes (for the riboflavin, o'course).  Meanwhile, some rats under the Diner are gnawing on the pipes (more on them later).

We jump back outside, and find yet another group of geeks who wanna get in on the action... the bird-like Ornitho-Justice League of Hammer City.  The who now?  Well, whoever they are, they're keen on taking down Big Jake.

Back inside, Al starts pounding on the kitchen door to let Lobo know that he's got some... guests.  The Main Man steps out to greet his waiting public, leaving Eddie the Head on full-nuke... with only one ingredient to go.

While Lobo deals with Big Jake, Eddie eeps out the final ingredient... natural gas.  I was bracing myself for a certain kind of joke here... thankfully, classier heads prevailed.  Al and his wife head into the kitchen... and empty the explosive cocktail down the drain.  Oh, also... Eddie the Head... is dead.

Outside... it's getting to be a real scene.  The Ornitho-Justice League of Hammer City have shown up... also, jacked-up Dick Tracy and the Hammer City Police Department.  Also... Danzer Khan and the Loose Federation of Offworld Outlaws... also, Lobo's landlord who has come to evict him... also, the mailman from earlier... who brings letters from the Hammer City Bank, the Food and Drug Administration, and the Hammer City Council!  Lobo's having quite the day!  Oh yeah, and those rats down below are still nibbling on pipes... only now, they've got that explosive cocktail down there too!

Which brings us to our next "guest", the Gasman!  He's come to turn Al's Diners' line off... due to nonpayment.  And when he does...

... Hammer City goes boom!  Well, all of Hammer City except Al's Diner!

We wrap up with the arrival of the... uhh, Rasta Gangsta Killas?!

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Ya know, I'm not usually one for the "random" humor... but, this wasn't half bad... and hey, howsabout that cover, eh?  That jumps right out atcha!

Now, I'm not terribly steeped in Sin City knowledge... only having read the The Hard Goodbye... and about a third of A Dame to Kill For, so I dunno if there were any direct "nods" to it on the inside... and I won't be able to speak to any'a that.  Definitely loved the cover though!

I was super-pleased with Val Semeiks' art... a lot more cartoony, and a lot less... er, Giffenish than I was expecting.  Nothing against Giffen, but sometimes I find his art to be... I dunno, challenging?  Especially in his super-angular days... I find myself unable to absorb the story, and I often have to reread pages.  That might be more of an indictment on my reading comprehension than his art... but, whattayagonnado?

This story really heated up around three-quarters of the way in... when, with a crazy frenetic pace, everything started coming together.  Everything from folks we'd briefly met earlier on... to a full-on impromptu alien invasion!  Thought that was a lot of fun... though, I'm not sure that's something I'd like to read every time out.  This was a "Part 4", so it's entirely possible/probable that seeds for the Avian Justice League and the Interstellar Outlaws were planted in an earlier chapter.

The cameos from all of the detectives was a lot of fun... and, as little patience as I have for "random humor", I might dislike pop-culture references even more!  This turned out to be just a gag though, so I'm cool with it.  Nothing worse than substituting actual story with a reference... that's one'a my bigger pet-peeves.

Overall, I had a good time!  As mentioned, not sure I'd wanna read a book like this every day... but, as a one-off random pull?  There's a lot to dig here.  For your convenience, this issue is available digitally.

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The Complete Ratties:

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Letters Page:

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895

Pryzm, the Beginning: A Costly Peace (2002)

Pryzm, the Beginning: A Costly Peace (2002)
"A Costly Peace"
Story - David Artuso
Script - Brian Augustyn
Penciller - Val Semeiks
Inker - Rodney Ramos
Letterer - Ken Lopez
Color/Separations - Digital Chameleon
Editor - Paul Kupperberg

If you're following me on Twitter (@acecomics), you might know that I've spent the past few days rooting through my overstuffed garage.  I've come across a whole bunch of stuff that I don't know how or why I held onto... most of it comics related.  I mean, there's Marvel Internet discs, bookmarks, stickers, hell... San Diego Comicon brochures going all the way back to the mid-1990's... why?!  Ehh, guess that just comes with the territory if one is a comics-packrat.

Anyhoo... now that the stage (as it were) is set... onto today's discussion piece.  While digging through a particular box, I came across a nice fistful of ashcan-sized promotional comics.  Atop the pile was one with the ol' DC bullet in the top left corner... Pryzm!  What is Pryzm?  From the looks of it, it's a PlayStation 2 game... one that was supposed to be a series.  The game is called Pryzm, Chapter One: The Dark Unicorn... and if the Metacritic is to be believed... it's a pretty dismal affair.  So dismal in fact, that Pryzm, Chapter Two: Pegasus Boogaloo never saw the light of day.

What does that mean for the comic prequel?  Well... I suppose we're about to find out.  Good or bad... it's always fun to dip our toes into the unknown.

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We open with a fleet of winged women descending on their target... a tree town, that sorta resembles the Ewok village on Endor.  They proceed to lay waste to it by firing blasts from the crystals they carry.

On the ground, a wolf-riding elf fights back... hurling a flaming javelin.  The leader of the ladies is struck, and she plummets to the ground... which she hits without a thud.  She is met by a white unicorn, who promises her safety.

The unicorn introduces itself as Anrenna, and heals the young winged woman.  The wolfrider rides up, with murder in his eyes.  Before he may act, however, he is felled by a... black unicorn called Zartu.  Zartu claims that they killed the elf to save Anrenna.... Anrenna ain't buying it, however.

The two-horsies argue whether it's okay to kill being in order to save another.  It gets sillier as we learn that Anrenna can see the future... and sees that Zartu (now, the most powerful sorcerer in Luminantia, oi...) is on an evil path.  This causes us to flashback to Zartu standing before the High Council of Horsies... who refuse him (him?) a proposal to do... something.  Okay.

We wrap up... yeah... already, with Anrenna telling us what is yet to come... we gotcha plagues, we gotcha monsters, we gotcha fires... annnnnd, that's it.  Not even a "to be continued in the game" (until an ad that follows), just a "The End".

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Oof.  Welcome to what is likely to be my lowest-viewed piece ever.

I almost feel like I'm cheating today discussing such a short and nothing-happening issue.  That wasn't my intention at all... I really expected there to be more to this.

Really, this was so short and uneventful that I wonder why they wasted the time, cost, and energy into producing it.  I can't imagine reading this caused a single soul to run out to Gamestop to preorder Pryzm, Chapter One: The Dark Unicorn... hell, this just might have caused a few folks to cancel theirs!

Very boring... can't hold that against the creative team, because, really... what could you hope to achieve with something like this?  Hell, I never played the game... but it wouldn't surprise me if this whole mini-issue wasn't part of the opening cut scene.

What's worse... with what little we do get, so much of it is spent discussing strange-named characters who we may or may not even meet here.  Eh, at least the art was pretty nice.

Overall... I couldn't imagine anyone would waste even a minute trying to track this down.  Hell, this was so boring, I doubt anybody is still reading this discussion piece at this point.  If you're still here, I thank you.  I guess the humble blogs "Random DC Comics Discussion and Reviews" mandate means we're going to have some days like this.  We'll try for something a bit more substantial tomorrow!

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Lobo #1 (1993)

Lobo #1 (December, 1993)
"The Qigly Affair, Part One"
Script - Alan Grant
Pencils - Val Semeiks
Inks - John Dell
Colors - Gloria Vasquez
Separations - Android
Letters - Bill Oakley
Asst. Editor - Peter Tomasi
Editor - Dan Raspler
Cover Price: $2.95

Growing up, I never really got into Lobo.  My buddy Dave did... which just reaffirmed my belief that the Lobo books were "those ugly books" that I didn't want anywhere near my pristine X-Men books.  In late 1993, following a line of miniseries the main man finally got his own real-deal ongoing... and, at least in my opinion, it doesn't look nearly as ugly anymore.  How does it read?  Let's find out...

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We open with intergalactic bounty-hunter extraordinaire Lobo hot on the trail of a "Robert DeNitro".  Lobo finds himself the victim of a DeNitro ambush, and the two enter into a battle of furious fisticuffs.  DeNitro's power is that his hands can be charged full of unstable molecules (probably not the same kind that comprises the Fantastic Fours costumes), with which he can... well, punch real good.

Lobo does the smart thing, and tosses him a cute li'l frag bomb... which DeNitro catches.  The frag explodes and takes his magical hands with it.  Knowing that the jig is up, DeNitro sits and sulks.  Lobo informs him he's running him in for being behind on his alimony payments in the sum of 1,000 credits.

Lobo hooks his chain into DeNitro's nose ring and perp marches him to the Space Hog.  DeNitro gets a wild hair, and decides to play "feets don't fail me now".  Lobo simply yanks him back... however, he may just have pulled too hard.  DeNitro's nose comes off in the yank, and DeNitro himself goes splat.  Lobo expresses surprise by saying "Feetal's Gizz".   It's something he's going to say several more times today... and, thinking about it phonetically, I can't help but giggle each time.

We jump to Al's Diner, a sad little 24-hour eatery on a lonely asteroid.  Inside, Al and waitress Darlene lament their lack of customers, when... our main man deciding he's thirsty, pops in.  Lobo engages in his normal charming small-talk, and seeing a "Buy One Get One" offer posted decides to order a six-pack of intergalactic beer.  While he orders, proprietor Al has a bit of a run-in with Lobo's dog... Dawg.

After an attempt at dissuasion, Darlene relents and fetches Lobo his six-pack.  Lobo quickly downs each one, and lets out both a belch and a... 'Feetal's Gizz". 

After he slams his sixth, Lobo can't help but notice there's another patron bellied up to the bar.  It's a jilted old partner, Jonas Glim... who is less than happy to see our main man.

What follows is a diner-destroying battle for the ages, with Lobo coming out on top.

With the fight won, Lobo hands Glim his business card... gives him the ol' kayo boot, and decides to drag him back with him.  He turns to Al, points to the buy one get one deal, and says they're even-steven because he only got one of his two meals... and one should cancel the other out.

We shift scenes to a warehouse in Dagma City on Planet Vurkan.  Inside an odd little man is playing cards with a pair of goonish alien types (though, one might just be Frankenstein).  This little fella is Qigly, and he is worth billions of credits to the Pan-Galactic Mob... the mob who is currently hot in pursuit.  There are several other members of this "Dead Boys" crew, including their leader Mort Fatale.  While Qigly plays cards and entertains himself by doing complex math in his head, the crew is trying to dig their way out of the warehouse.  They anxiously await their getaway driver, one Mr. Robert DeNitro... oops...

Lobo and Glim arrive at the Bounty Office with a "Feetal's Gizz".  He attempts to trade in DeNitro's schnoz for the credits... unsuccessfully.  Lobo does not ingratiate himself to the Bondsman, and almost finds himself losing the gig.  

Before things get too heated, Lobo heads off into the main bounty hall.

Inside the already ticked off Bondsman offers Lobo the 10 million credit bounty for... Vernon Z. Qigly.  Lobo peeps the geek on the poster, and thinks it's money in the bank.  He happily accepts, and heads out for his "sure thing".

Back in Dagma City, the Pan-Galactic Mob discovers the Dead Boys, and a hellacious firefight takes place.

At the Bounty Office, we see that the Bondsman tore off some very important information from the bounty memo... it appears as though the main man was sent in on a suicide mission...

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Okay, I had a bit more fun than I was expecting with this one.  My Lobo frame of reference is pretty much "that guy Superman fights sometimes" and "Young Justice team member Slobo"... Seeing the "main man" in his natural habitat was a treat.  I get the idea that Lobo is not someone we should be cheering for, however, there is just something about him... an odd charisma, that makes you (or me, at least) wanna see him just punch fools out.

The art and coloring were great too.  When I think Lobo, my mind usually goes to the abstract Keith Giffen covers that look more like his Trencher work than his DC work... or those overly "meaty" looking covers that always grossed me out as a kid.  Val Semeiks' art here is more of a classic comic style, and is both aesthetically pleasing and easy to follow.

This probably isn't must-reading or anything, but if you come across it... it's definitely worth a look.  

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Wonder if this ad is for the "original" Emerald Twilight pitch?
Definitely doesn't look like the one we got!