Action Comics #207 (August, 1955)
"The Four Superman Medals!"
"Mystery of the Space Mutiny!"
"Man Against the Sea"
"Janu, the Human Chimp"
Writers - Otto Binder, Joe Malloy & Jack Miller
Pencillers - Wayne Boring, Jim Mooney & Edwin Smalle
Inkers - Stan Kaye & Wayne Boring
Editor - Whitney Ellsworth
Cover Price: $0.10
1955. That's like the very start of the days of the Comics Code Authority... and, hot-cross buns wouldja look at the size of that CCA stamp!
Let's get to it... I have a feeling this is gonna be a long one.
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Our first story opens with Superman... and he's in quite the pickle. Ya see, over the past four years he's presented Superman Medals to people deemed to be heroes at the annual Policemen's Dinner... and you'll never guess who's supposed to be the awardee this time around! Okay, that's a lie... you know it's Clark Kent, I know it's Clark Kent... we all know it's Clark Kent. Well, how can Clark Kent be there to get "pinned" by Superman... if he and Superman are one in the same? In fact, Clark pretended to have to work late to excuse his absence in the first place... Before the ceremony can conclude, Lois runs back to the office to pick up her pal.
This leaves Superman and the Police Chief with the need to vamp for a bit... and so, Superman shares the story of his first Superman Medal presentation... when he awarded it to a coward! Ya see, there was this jail break (featuring the Taylor Boys)... where one prisoner was too scared to flee. This scaredy-cat was "Daredevil" Conners former high-diver... who landed kinda wonky this one time, causing him to completely lose his nerve... and turn to vagrancy!
Well, eventually Conners was released... and here's where it gets confusing. He gets a letter from the Taylor Boys to meet them at the docks... but the letter was really from Superman... who knew the Taylors would be at the docks... but couldn't just round 'em up for... whatever reason? I dunno. Either way, at the docks Superman falls prey to a chunk of (gray) Kryptonite, and passes out.
The baddies tie Superman to the rock... and dump him into the drink. As luck would have it, "Daredevil" Conners has seen the whole thing and decides he might just have one more dive in him! We see Conners being awarded his Superman Medal, and during the ceremony he vows to "never be scared again".
One story down, and still... Lois has not returned with Clark. More vamping! Superman Medal numero dos went to a man who refused it! Here we meet Officer Wilson... a man who hoped to one day work alongside Superman. He took part in many daring rescues and heroic acts hoping to attract his hero's attention... but it seems like each time, Superman is busy elsewhere on the planet.
During the second annual Superman Medal presentation, Officer Wilson is presented with the award... but turns it down because he never actually worked with Superman, he was just doing his job! Superman informs him that he had been watching him via his telescopic vision, and knows he's gone above and beyond to make the world safer.
Well, Superman's only got one story left to tell... so let's get right to it. The third Superman Medal was awarded to... a criminal! Ya see, sometimes heroes get their intel from shady sources... like say, a man in a lead mask. This man tipped Superman off to some bad dudes... smugglers and counterfeiters and whatnot.
Turns out that the man in the lead mask had, gasp, an ulterior motive... he was just trying to wipe out some of his criminal competition so his gang could have full control over the underworld! Plus, that snazzy Superman Medal might afford him deeper access into things like... armored car companies (for some reason).
Superman is Johnny on the Spot for Leadmask's first outing... because the Superman Medal he's wearing is actually a dupe! It has a tiny wireless setup inside it which allowed Superman to listen in on all his nefarious plans!
Okay, all three stories have been told... but there's still no sign of Clark Kent. Oh boy... at this point, Superman heads out "for some air", but really goes to rifle through the police department's Missing Persons files... where he finds a fella who looks exactly like Clark Kent... which, I dunno, doesn't that also mean he looks exactly like Superman? I dunno... either way, Superman tracks down the look-alike, and finds him to be (conveniently) amnesiac "like most disappearance cases".
The story wraps with Superman actually being able to "pin" Clark Kent with a Medal. Following the ceremony, the man asks why Superman had him pretend to be Clark Kent... to which, Superman grabs him and throws him into the Sun... er, takes him for a speed-flight. Ya see, the faux-Clark used to be a test pilot... and the g-force of Superman's flight helped jog his memory. Never mind that the story actually ends with the pair in space...
Our second story features... Tommy Tomorrow. We open with he and his aide Captain Brent Wood on patrol. They receive a distress call from a Captain Cryle, who between gasps is reporting that he's in danger and people are breaking down his door. Tommy suggests Cryle was the victim of a mutiny and casually mentions that he didn't hear a door being broken down... which, well... that's going to be important... annnnd dumb. Two weeks later, Tommy and Brent finally arrive to answer the call and meet with the Mutineers.
Tommy confronts the Mutineer's physician, Dr. Blair. He admits that there was a mutiny, yet still pleads innocent of any wrongdoing. Tommy believes him, however, they're gonna need to 'splain. He leaves them to do some deeper investigation.
From here we get some silly science having to do with outrunning the speed of light via wormholes or something... which makes me wonder why they didn't just take a wormhole here to begin with... I mean, that beats the hell out of a two-week trek, right? Anyhoo... he states if they can beat the light to where it would be in one week's time... they can film the entire mutiny and play it back. Ay yai yai.
Whattayaknow, it works... Tommy returns to the Mutineers' planet with the footage... and learns that there was in fact a mutiny, just as Blair said... but also, the Mutineers (really, the "mutineers"?, oof) are completely innocent! Ya see, Captain Cryle saw a meteor swarm approaching and planned to outrun it. Seems fine... however, we now learn that Cappy had a bum ticker, and any increased velocity would likely cause him a fatal heart attack... and that's when the mutiny began. The crew didn't want to lose their Captain. Spoiler alert... he dies anyway.
But, what then of the distress call? I'm glad you asked... well, that was just the Captain talking in his sleep while having a nightmare. Toldja it was dumb. Anyhoo, the Mutineers are cleared and everything's hunky dory.
Next up is a text piece, which is special because it's the first text piece I've ever read! I usually skip these things... and after reading this one, I see how right I was to do so! It's the story of a man heading from Ecuador to Fiji in order to take a job. He travels via raft, and it's a heckuva trip. Next!
Our final story is... oh, c'mon... Congo Bill? Alright... we open with the thrilling scene of Bill, putting on his boots. Suddenly a lion sticks it head into the tent-flap. Bill, not having his rifle nearby (too bad, that) decides to try his luck taking the beast on in "bare-handed battle". It turns out it's actually his... I dunno, primal pal (?) Janu playing a practical joke using a prop lion-head from a visiting acting company's trunk. Wouldn't a master... whatever he is, like Congo Bill know the difference between a real lion and a prop?
Anyhoo, it looks like Congo Bill's current gig is escorting an actor named Tony across the jungle to a port town. Their chat is interrupted by a geek named Lester, who claims to have caught a tiny animal in his snare. Well, it turns out that "tiny animal" is actually a hippo... that's about to charge! Congo Bill, friend to nature, punches it in the nose.
The practical jokes keep coming as Janu finds a (very lifelike) chimp costume... and puts it on, because he's a dumb kid. At the same time, Congo Bill notes that a nearby volcano looks like it's getting ready to blow.
Lester sees Janu-as-chimp and decides to capture him as a pet... that costume is pretty convincing... even if Lester is a bit of a dope. Janu-chimp is tossed into a cage, where he begins to plead his case. Wha---? A talking-chimp!
Lester runs over to the grown-ups to show off his fantastic find. Mark Trail Congo Bill knows it's really his little pal Janu, but decides to play along to teach the kid a lesson. While Lester and Tony consider taking the chimp to Hollywood, the volcano "blows it's top" sending a large rock into the tree they are standing under... causing a branch to come down and crush pin Bill down. Oh yeah, and the animals begin to stampede.
Janu thinks fast and uses the momentum of one of the stampeders to break out of the cage. From there he hops around the perimeter setting leaves on fire, knowing the animals won't cross.
Not only does Janu set the leaves on fire... his chimp-suit also goes up in flames! The story ends with Janu being regaled for his heroic act, while Lester tries to get Janu's pet chimp Chota to speak. Wonk wonk.
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Welp, can't say kids didn't get their dimes' worth back in the mid-50's. But, whew... a lot of this was pretty boring.
I'm pretty sure I read the most boring story ever written today... but I'm not sure if it starred Tommy Tomorrow or an unemployed fella who rafted from Ecuador to Fiji.
Let's get Tommy out of the way. This was almost aggressively dull, and I swear it took me multiple tries to get through the six-pages it spanned. The thing of it is, though... it's not a completely terrible story. There's some neat science fiction here, and the idea of beating the speed of light somewhere is interesting and fun in a tin-can robot sort of way. That said, the story put me to sleep. Though to be fair, I'm sure a child in the 50's would get more out of this than I did.
The Congo Bill story was... I wanna say, also pretty dull... while at the same time, decently fun. It reminded me a lot of syndicated strip Mark Trail aesthetically, and it's light tone was appreciated after the slog that was Tommy Tomorrow and the text-piece.
The lead-off story was... eh. It was a Superman story... but one I don't think I'd ever need to read again. This is pretty much what I thought Superman stories were when I was a kid... just him trying to keep his secret identity a... secret. Low-stakes storytelling with "creative" ways to keep his "C.K." under wraps.
The stories of the Medals were... I dunno, a way to fill pages, I suppose... and were decent enough "asides". The bit with Superman digging through the missing persons files though... woof, that's some wacky and convenient stuff. I know stories of this era really don't lend themselves to analysis... and it's probably a bit unfair for me to look at them like I would a (more) contemporary book... but, we're already here.
Overall... I think you could probably get through life just fine without reading this comic book. Sure there's some fun here... if you're a fan of some sillier pre-Silver Age stories, there is a lot to dig. If you're a fan of vintage ads... even more! To my knowledge, this issue has never been collected (nor has it been made available digitally)... and I wouldn't recommend paying more than a few bucks for it should you come across it "in the wild".
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Superman #215 (April, 1969)
"Lois Lane... Dead... Yet Alive"
"Superman's First Exploit"
Writers - Otto Binder & Edmond Hamilton
Pencillers - Curt Swan & Wayne Boring
Inkers - Jack Abel & Stan Kaye
Colorist(s) - unknown
Letterers - Ben Oda & Pat Gordon
Cover Price: $0.12
Welcome, one and all... to Earth-215, where we ignore the words "Imaginary Novel" on the cover and just accept that this story is occurring on one of the Infinite Earths in the pre-Crisis DC Multiverse.
I might need to explain.
These past few weeks to coincide with our Cosmic Treadmill podcast's FIFTIETH episode, we wanted to do something special. We decided to celebrate our fiftieth by discussing... DC Comics' fiftieth. Part of our research demanded we dive headfirst into the Infinite Earths... and by using a number of resources, including The Crisis Compendium which came as part of Crisis on Infinite Earths: The Absolute Edition (2005) we learned just how many formerly "imaginary stories" were designated their own Earth!
One of those we're going to discuss today... but it's hardly our first.
We learned...
Prez actually occurred on Earth-72.
Superboy #134 (December, 1966) occurred on Earth-134.
The Super-Sons stories occurred on Earth-216.
Captain Thunder from Superman #276 (June, 1974) hailed from Earth-276.
The Inferior 5, Jerry Lewis, and Bob Hope hailed from Earth-11... or was it Earth-B?
Hell, it was even suggested by Mark Evanier that post-Kirby Fourth World stories all happened on Earth-14!
... but who knows...
For all the pre-Crisis DC Multiverse you can stomach... and then some, please check out our episode of Weird Comics History where Reggie and I break it down!
Oh well, let's add another Earth to our seemingly infinite pile.
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We open on a funeral scene... Superman and pals (and daughter!) are huddled around tombstone of... Lois Lane! The dialogue here is kinda wacky... and hard to play straight. We learn that Superman was married to Lois... that's right, Superman... not Clark Kent. Jimmy and Perry are like "Ooh, he's taking this hard", well... no kidding. In a bit that is pretty heartbreaking, Superman and Lois' daughter, Lanie attempts to jump onto the casket as it's being lowered into the ground to say goodbye one last time.
Superman reveals that the burial is purely symbolic... as when Lois perished, there were no remains left to be buried. Okay, now get ready... this is supposed to be a tragic scene, but it's just too wacky. Superman and Lois are sitting in their living-room... Superman's reading the paper (in costume) while Lois knits. Supervillain, the Dimension Master pops his head in the window and (after announcing his arrival) proceeds to fire his blast ray at Superman. The blast ricochets off of Superman's chest and vaporizes poor Lois. Well, this probably isn't the story you want to share with your super-powered tot of a daughter... because now she wants revenge!
Superman scoops Lanie up and tells her they're going to head to the Fortress of Solitude to live... and they'll play "super-games" and have "loads of fun", even without Lois. I don't know whether to cry or nervously laugh... so weird! After a few attempts by Lanie to use the Fortress's giant key, they enter. She goes straight to playing on the super monkey bars, and asks what's behind a particular door. Superman tells her that she cannot enter that room, no matter what... and even puts a Superman robot at the door to ensure she doesn't. Talk about Chekhov's door... or a reference I get wrong every time I use it!
Later, at the Daily Planet Perry asks Clark to assist in putting together a scrapbook detailing the Superman/Lois Lane romance so they can present to the Man of Steel as a gift. He puts on a brave face, as to not cry and reveal that he really is Superman. I mean, I don't get it... it's pretty clear that (to the civilians) Clark had the hots for Lois... plus, they were friends, I don't think shedding a tear or two would be the big tip-off... but, whattayagonnado?
Over the next year Superman raises Lanie at the Fortress, and they have all sorts'a Wintery fun. Giant snowmen, sleigh rides, Krypto even gets in on the action. After a year has passed, however, Superman presents Lanie with a special gift... a robot Lois!
In the days/weeks... I dunno, in the time that passes, Superman begins to fall in love with Robo-Lois. They have a few make-out sessions, and Superman flies to the highest peaks to procure a bouquet of rare flowers. It's not until he looks at that scrapbook the Planeteers made for him that he remembers that the real Lois had died.
Luckily to keep his mind off of things, there is some Super-business to be attended to in Metropolis. It's of the utmost importance that he... judge the Miss Metropolis pageant. Aye yai yai. Perry White even suggests he might just find the next Mrs. Superman there!
While there he sees... Lois Lane! Whaaaa? He investigates further with his x-ray vision and learns that she has the same signs of having broken her left forearm... it's gotta be Lois! Superman flies over to her, and it's revealed that... No, it's not Lois... but the wife of Dimension Master, Chameleon Queen!
The Dimension Master pops in to mock the mourning Man of Steel. Their sole purpose in life is tormenting Superman... which isn't very cool. It's so uncool, in fact, that Lex Luthor and Brainiac show up to take them down! Wha--? Lex and Brainiac tell Superman that they're not friends... but they respect him! They snap up the baddies... er, the other baddies... and take them to the Space Police Headquarters!
Back at the Fortress, li'l Lanie is getting super-curious about what could be behind that one verboten door. She concocts a plan where she sends a doll that looks like her flying into the Super-Lab, starting a fire! The Superman robot runs in to check on her, leaving the door unguarded. Lanie enters, and what she finds is... Kryptonite! Ruh-roh. She proceeds to dig through the Red variety.
Superman returns home just as Lanie is vanishing from sight. He rushes to hook the Red-K up to the Super-Computer to see what effects it might have. Remember, Red-K is unpredictable in how it messes with a Kryptonian. He learns that Lanie was sent to a parallel Earth (Earth-43, even!). And so, Superman exposes himself to the stuff... and away he goes!
He finds Lanie in a South American jungle... and snaps her up to deliver her to this Earth's Fortress of Solitude. While on the way, a thought pops into his head... perhaps on this Earth, Lois Lane is still alive! Annnnnd, she totally is!
She still works for the Daily Planet, and is set to test out a "Gill Serum" which will allow her to breathe underwater for several hours. Sounds like a good idea for a story, I suppose. She heads unduh da sea, and runs, err swims right into a giant squid! Luckily, Superman is nearby to save her... and immediately propose marriage! She's totally down with it... which is all well and good, buuuut, what Superman has forgotten is... there's probably another Superman on this Earth too!
It's not long before Superman meets Superman... and Superman tells Superman... err, make that Superman-215 (the one we've been following all this time) tells Superman-43 (more on him in a bit) all about marrying, procreating with, and losing Lois on his Earth. Superman-43 has zero interest in marrying Lois... and tells Superman-215 that he'd best do whatever he can to "get him out of this"... just wait.
Superman-215 marries Lois and takes her to the Fortress of Solitude, where he drops the next surprise in her lap... hey, guess what Lo', you've got a daughter... that looks just like you... and is named after you! Lois immediately accepts this new reality and agrees to adopt the super-tot. What she doesn't know is that this isn't "her" Superman.
Ya see, the Superman of Earth-43 decided to switch places with Superman-215... and we leave him wondering if Lana Lang might be available on this Earth.
Think we're done? Nope... we got a back-up to discuss! Here we meet Dr. Reece Kearns, a scientist who is desperate to know the first exploit of Superman. This causes Superman's super-sense to tingle. Why would some scientist want to know, if not to suss out his secret identity? He refuses to play ball and answer any of the doc's questions.
And so, Kearns heads to... where else, the Daily Planet! They set up a contest to see who can name Superman's earliest exploit. In the days that follow, stories of Superman's early feats begin rolling in... was it a mobbed-up warehouse robbery he foiled?
Or maybe it was saving a metal refinery from being coated in molten steel? By the way, this flashback might feature the first time (canonically) that someone refers to Superman as a "Man of Steel".
Back at the Planet, Perry's all "Doy, Superman was Superboy first... maybe we oughta ask people in Smallville." Yeah, no kidding, Chief! A story comes in about a super-powered tot tipping over a lamppost. Surely, that's Superman/boy/baby's first feat!
But no. No, it's not. Superman flashes back to... that fateful day where he was loaded into a tiny rocket and blasted off the doomed planet Krypton. Along the way... and he was playing with his toys the entire trip... he becomes distracted by a shiny light on an meteor. Soooo, he ejects himself from the rocket and hops onto it to check it out.
On the meteor stands a... crystal-looking insect. Superbaby punches it on the nose and sends it flying before hopping back into the rocket.
Turns out, this is all Dr. Kearns needed to know! Ya see, that meteor was on a collision course with Earth... until it was knocked off target by Superbaby. Kearns had already informed the media that the meteor was coming, and started a false-panic which branded him a hoaxer. Now that the truth is out, he can return to his good standing in the scientific community... all's well that ends well!
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Whew.
Okay, lots to unpack here... let's get the convoluted stuff out of the way and try to untangle Earths 215 and 43.
Alright, referring back to The Crisis Compendium, Earth-43 first appeared in Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #43 (August, 1963). In it, Earth-One Lois was struck by lightning and sent to an alternate Earth in which she witnessed Superman and Lex Luthor both dying in battle. The Superman Emergency Squad hits the scene and replaces the dead Superman with a Kandorian double... or maybe a robot... either way, the world went on believing Superman to be alive.
Still with me? Okay... so, today's "Lois Lane... Dead... Yet Alive" story takes place on Earth-215. We see Superman, by way of Red-K, shifted to an alternate Earth... which is Earth-43. While there he meets and marries the Lois Lane of that Earth, and also trades places with... the Kandorian Superman Dupe. Sooo, this "imaginary" story ends with Superman-215 shifting to Earth-43 and marrying Lois Lane-43, while Kandorian Superman-Dupe-43 leaves to go to Earth-215. Easy as pie, right? Nevermind that folks on Earth-215 might start to wonder what happened to Lanie... that's a problem for someone else!
Whew (again).
Okay, on to the stories themselves. I gotta say, as silly as they were, I had a blast reading them both.
I've said it before, but my Silver-Age DC game is kinda weak. These are written so matter of fact... I mean, Dimension Master literally pops his head into the window at Superman's house! How in the world does that happen? I guess it serves to further illustrate the danger should Superman ever "take a wife"... but still, funny as all get-out! The dialogue too... so weird, but so fun. In Lois' dying breath she mutters "Goodbye, Superman, my darling... Shhhhh!" I mean, really.
It's hard taking this story as being as tragically sad as it's supposed to be because of how silly it is. I mean, a daughter not reacting well during her mother's funeral... that's absolutely heart wrenching... but the way they do it, it comes across as silly. Though, of course I doubt Mr. Binder was expecting some dude in his mid-30's analyzing this almost a half-century later.
Let's talk Luthor. I almost laughed out loud seeing Lex and Brainiac being all "Not cool, man" to the Dimension Master. So wild!
Jumping between dimensions really was no big deal back in the day, was it? I mean, Red-K always has an unpredictable effect... but, I wouldn't expect dimension-hopping to be among them. Gotta wonder if someone at DC pulled a Peter Sanderson and read the entire output today... how many more "infinite Earths" would be discovered and could be added to the pile? I'm guessing a bunch!
The business on Earth-43... just as silly as the rest. I can't get over how quickly Lois just accepts everything. Wanna get married? Sure! Wanna adopt my daughter? No prob! Plus... I mean, the "other" Superman, who as of 1969 was intended to be that Earth's actual Superman, was cool with leaving! Now that's a whole 'nother level of altruism! Good thing he had the hots for Lana Lang instead of Lois!
I could go on for awhile... but I think I've already gone on long enough... and we still got the back-up!
And so, "Superman's First Exploit". I think in all the "zany Haney" madness we forget about folks like Edmond Hamilton... this fella might be just as "out there". Throughout my past several weeks of "infinite Earth" research, I found that so many of these formerly "imaginary" stories added to the canon were written by Hamilton. His stuff even dwarfs Haney's... though, to be fair, much of the Zany one's work was shuffled into Earth-B (a semi-serious Bob Rozakis idea for a depository for Haney stuffs).
This backup was... ya know, silly... and actually adds something to Superbaby's trip from Krypton to Earth! That's a pretty big deal, right? Eh, probably not... but still neat.
Overall, this is a wonderfully fun and mind-bendy (if you let it be) issue. The lead story has been reprinted both in Best of DC Comics Blue Ribbon Digest #19 (December, 1981) and in the Superman in the Sixties trade paperback. The back-up is actually a reprint from Superman #106 (July, 1956). Unfortunately, this issue is not yet available digitally. A pretty glaring omission to me... I don't see why this wouldn't be. Anyhoo, if you can find it... it's definitely worth your time!
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