Guy Gardner: Warrior #29 (1995)

Guy Gardner: Warrior #29 (March, 1995)
"It's My Party and I'll Fight if I Want To"
Writer - Beau Smith
Penciller - Phil Jimenez
Inkers - John Stokes & Dan Davis
Colorist - Gene D'Angelo
Letterer - Albert DeGuzman
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Warrior's Designed by - Brad Gorby
Cover Price: $2.95 (gatefold) $1.50 (standard)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  I was planning on doing a "Green" book today (Arrow or Lantern, natch).  While flipping through my books, this one just jumped out at me.

Visiting Warrior's Bar should be a nice way to hold me/us over until the weekend.  At least at my house corned beef, cabbage, soda bread, and family will be in abundance come Saturday.

--

We open on Darkseid and Desaad curiously observing a large conglomeration of superheroes.  They appear to be gathering for reasons other than battle.  What event could be so significant as to pull nearly the entirety of DC's metahuman community together?  Well, today is the opening of Guy Gardner's WARRIOR'S.  Part bar, part Planet Hollywood, Warrior's features tons of superhero ephemera to peruse and enjoy while you dine and drink.

We watch as Guy interacts with just about all of the movers and shakers of the DC Universe at the time.  No pun intended, this issue really is a "Who's Who?" of the DC Universe circa-1995.  One interaction of note concerns Aquaman.  This is shortly after Aquaman loses his hand... Gardner approaches, and Arthur fully expects a snide comment about his new hook-hand.  Instead Gardner gives a snarky comment about the length of Aquaman's hair.  Too funny.

A (very convincing...) impostor in a Superman outfit gets evicted by the real steel deal.

This opening is receiving television news coverage, so we become privy to the thoughts of those watching from afar, including a collection of super villains currently locked up in Blackgate Prison (a handy note informs us that at this time Arkham Asylum was destroyed).

In a tiny panel, we observe that Zatanna and the then-Vertigo imprint only John Constantine are present.

The Blood Pack introduce themselves.  They appear to be a team consisting of the new characters introduced in the Bloodlines crossover... and Jade?

Look out, Dylan McKay!

Current (at at the time, final) Green Lantern, Kyle Rayner meets up with former-GL Arisia (who may at this time be part of Guy's side-cast).  They discuss the recent happenings regarding Hal Jordan.  Kyle apologizes thinking he may have killed Hal.

Captain Atom shows up... don't dig Nate with the longer hair.  Doesn't feel right to me.  As he is settling in, Guy... in full Vuldarian Warrior form, lands a blow that sends Atom flying.  Guy blames the Captain for what has happened to his former squeeze, Ice.  She had apparently died at the hands of the Overmaster in a recent Justice League story line.

Donna Troy (now a Darkstar) has a brief confrontation with Artemis, who is the current Wonder Woman.  Just as the discussion gets heated, the entire party gets interrupted by...

The main man, Lobo.

Guy and Lobo begin brawling, inciting the entire establishment into a riot.  As the brouhaha continues, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis arrive on the scene, perhaps to scope out the competition to their own Planet Hollywood venture.  They decide discretion is most definitely the better part of valor, and vamoose.

Later on, we find that Lobo has passed out.  He had apparently finished off every drop of beer in the bar.  Gardner himself is conspicuous by his absence.  Arisia and Veronna head up to Guy's office to check on him.  The blast open the door, and find a potentially un-well Warrior... and we are [to be continued...]

--

This issue proved to be one of the more difficult to synopsize/spoil.  So many guest stars... and just so much going on.  If I'm honest, DC Comics really weren't my thing in the mid-nineties... so many of these characters (and/or their current circumstances) are somewhat unfamiliar to me.  I also don't have a large Guy Gardner(: Warrior) collection, so the main cast is rather foreign to me as well.

This was an extremely fun romp through mid-nineties DC Comics.  It's incredible that they were able to pull such an issue off.  I highly doubt anything like this could be done today.  For the near ubiquity of cross overs and guest shots in contemporary comics, a story such as this is still a wonderful novelty.

The first Beau Smith I'd read was actually not in comics, but in a column he kept in one of the Two-Morrows Publishing's "How-To" magazines... either Sketch, or Write Now!  His real-man persona is quite engaging, and he is one of the writers whose work I actively seek out if I come across it in the bins.  This issue was very well written, all that appeared felt very much in character... and they all seemed as though they were having fun.  Fun was a precious commodity during this vintage, I am glad that a book like this existed back then (wish we had more like it now).

Phil Jimenez is at his George Perez best here.  I would have sworn some of these pages/characters were actually drawn by Perez in this issue... Donna Troy, especially.

Highly recommended.  This issue has not yet to my knowledge been collected, and is unfortunately absent on DC's Digital Comics site.  So, this will be a single-issue only experience.  I have come across it several times in the wild.  Should not be terribly difficult to procure, if you are so inclined... and it won't set you back much.  Read this one as you down your next green beer.  Now, what say you, Guy?

Umm... Happy St. Patrick's Day, y'all!

--

The version I own features the gatefold cover.  When we open the fold we are treated to a view of the inside from over Superman's (or his swarthy mustachioed doppelganger's) shoulder.

The standard edition features perhaps an even better image.  It is an homage to Edward Hopper's painting Nighthawks.

--

Interesting Ads:

I have absolutely no recollection of this...

$15 for a year's worth... yes, please!

In an era where I'm surprised when books make it to issue #25...

... seeing those about to hit #100 is somewhat bittersweet.

Captain Atom #1 (1987)

Captain Atom #1 (March, 1987)
"Point of Origin"
Writer - Cary Bates
Penciller - Pat Broderick
Inker - Bob Smith
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Editor - Dennis O'Neil
Special Thanks to Greg Weisman
Cover Price: $1.00

"Hey, have you checked out our consignment section?" asked the friendly comic shop owner.

"The what now?" was my erudite response.

One of the shops I venture down to somewhat seldomly had turned about one-third of their sales floor into a consignment area.  Folks could sell their books through the store, and the shop would take a cut.  It's the first time I'd ever encountered this, so I figured I'd check it out.

Of the area's offerings were two titles I'd long wanted to collect, but felt rather overwhelming to consider... Blue Devil and Captain Atom.

Blue Devil was marked at $25.00 and was a complete set.  Captain Atom, however, was $40.00 and was missing about a half-dozen issues (I had a smattering of issues from both series' so there were sure to be some doubles as well).  This was October, 2010, and I had just finished working a government contracted position... I wasn't bringing in any money at this point, so I decided against grabbing them.  I suppose it can be asked why I was in a comic book store in the first place when I was in-between contracts... what can I say?  I've got a problem.

As I was leaving, the shop owner furrowed his eyebrows and commented on the fact that I hadn't found anything.  I told him what caught my eye... and he asked if either of those sets had a red sticker on them.  I popped over to check, and in fact... both sets had a large circular red sticker on their respective bags.

He advised me that the red sticker was to indicate which sets were selling at 50% off.  Well, hell... that changes everything.  Picked up both sets for a song, and headed home in the uncharacteristic Phoenix rain (it's funny the things you remember... I also stopped at a Dutch Bros. drive-thru on the way home for a cup of coffee that was almost impossibly smooth).

Captain Atom had long been on my radar.  Ever since reading his exploits in Justice League Europe, the Captain Atom series was placed on my "if you see it on the cheap, pick it up" list that I would keep in my pocket every time I went out.  This was pre-smartphone for me, so my lists were all hand-written at this point.

Prior to this great find, my Captain Atom collection was quite modest.  Maybe a dozen or so issues... including, for whatever reason, three copies of the issue I wish to discuss today, Captain Atom #1.  Is it worth owning more than one copy of?  Let's find out...

--

Falsely(?) accused of treason, Captain Nathaniel Adam agreed to take part in the Captain Atom Project in exchange for his life and freedom.  The Project sought to bind him to a metal alloy procured from a crashed UFO.  It is 1968.

We open as the project is about to be conducted.  As the process commences, Nathaniel is nervously telling jokes... trying to keep his mind off of what's to come.  The idea that he may not survive the proceedings... the fact he may never again see his family.  The project is the brainchild of Dr. Megala and is being overseen by Colonel Eiling.

Nathaniel Adam is seemingly vaporized and it appears as though the project was unsuccessful.  As this is occurring we join Adam's wife, Angela sharing her apprehension with Nate's best friend Jeff Goslin.  They discuss the probable danger the project brings with it.  Goslin is confident in his buddy's survivability and assures her that all will go well.  Nathan and Angela's young children (Randy and Peggy) are also present for this scene.

The scene shifts to the Winslow Air Force Base.  It is nighttime and there is something of a quantum explosion on the airstrip.  A humanoid glob of metallic energy has made its presence known.  The Base attempts to defend itself, opening fire on the creature.  The glob blasts back with energy emanating from its hands.  It's not until taking the full force of a rocket launcher to the gut that the metallic mass collapses to the ground.

Inside the facility, the humanoid is strapped to a bed and studied.  Much to the surprise of the scientists, the creature exhibits many tell-tale human qualities.  The creature adapts its form a few times, internalizing its mass... molting layers of its own mass.  The process ends with Nate in his more familiar Captain Atom metallic body-type.  He wakes up, and begins to speak.

(Now General) Eiling recognizes who and what he is looking at and demands the room be cleared.  Adam comments on Eiling's seemingly advanced age and almost immediate ascension from Colonel to General.  Eiling hints that it's no longer 1968 when he begins naming all of the people who had died in the past couple of decades... including Adam's own wife.  This proves to be too much for Nathan to handle as he begins glowing a bright red.  Eiling orders the room be filled with nerve gas to sedate the Captain.

Eiling then meets with Dr. Megala, who now appears to be more synthetic than human.  His torso sits in a high-tech wheelchair with mechanical arms.  Megala proposes that during the process, Nathan was somehow thrown into the fourth-dimension of space-time.  He continues by commenting on the power Adam may now command, and asks if Eiling ever considered that potentiality.

Eiling takes his leave.  In the hallway he orders a subordinate to ensure that within the next 12-hours Megala, who is one of the few "in the know" about the Captain Atom Project, is rendered brain-dead.  Megala, either overhears... or just knows Eiling well enough to assume what is to come makes a distress call to a "Babylon".

Adam is placed into a body bag and loaded onto a rocket ship.  Eiling plans to launch Adam into space.  Of note, the servicemen all believe Adam to be an extraterrestrial rather than the result of a decades old government project.

As the rocket lifts off, a man brandishing a hypodermic needle enters Megala's room.  Before he can act, a large man emerges from the shadows and stabs the invader in the neck with his own needle.  This imposing fellow is Babylon, and he is working for (as well as protecting) Dr. Megala.

We rejoin Adam as he awakens in total blackness.  He hears the rocket engines, and realizes his current plight.  He destroys the vessel and begins plummeting to Earth.  He is shocked to find that he now has the ability to fly.  As he approaches the ground, he decides to follow Route-202 to his family home.

Upon arrival, Adam peers into the window only to find that a different family now inhabits his house.  So curious... the buildings, roads, and even the cars... all different.  Megala and Babylon arrive, and enlighten Adam to the fact that he is currently 18 years in his future.  It is now 1986.

Megala proposes a partnership.  He brings Adam to his secluded mountainside home to help him work on mastering his powers.  Unbeknownst to them, General Eiling has eyes and ears all around.  The next several pages are tantamount to a training montage... Adam's body is hit with all manner of ballistics, and he spars with Babylon.

After receiving sufficient intel, Eiling orders an assault on Megala's retreat, and reaches out to contact the President of the United States.  Once at Megala's, Eiling orders to speak with Adam.  Adam is more than happy to oblige, and demands Eiling take him to see his wife.

Eiling takes Adam to the grave of his wife... it is revealed that since Nate had been believed vaporized, Angela Adam remarried... her next husband?  General Wade Eiling himself.  Adam begins to break down... he now knows Eiling not only shared his wife's bed, but also had a hand in raising his children.  Adam's own children would look at Eiling as though he were their father.

Eiling then informs Adam that the current administration has no obligation to honor the pardon he had earned by participating in the Captain Atom Project.  He states however, that if he were to become a secret operative for the United States while acting as the superhero Captain Atom... a new pardon may be granted.

One week later, Eiling meets with the President to discuss Captain Atom as well as consider moving on to "phase two"... and we are [to be continued...]

--

What a way to start a series!

This was yet another Post-Crisis re-imagining that really pulls me in.  I must admit, I have no experience with the Charlton or any Pre-Crisis iteration of this character, so I am ignorant as to whether or not there are any similarities between the versions.  Of note, this is listed in most online databases as Captain Atom volume 3, counting the two earlier Charlton Comics volumes.  For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to omit the "vol.3" for this one.  For all intents and purposes, this is the first DC Comics volume of this title.

Of potential interest, we are introduced to the President of the United States in this issue.  Oddly, he bears absolutely no resemblance to Ronald Reagan.  In this very issue there is an advertisement for the DC crossover Legends, which actually features Ronald Reagan as a plot point and character.  I'm not sure if this was a conscious choice to have the President of the United States not be Reagan in Captain Atom, or if there is perhaps something lost in the art.  It has been a couple of years since reading this series, so I cannot off the top of my head remember if this gets rectified/clarified.

--

This was an incredibly well-written issue... Captain Atom is introduced as such a likable and sympathetic character.  Dr. Megala and Babylon serve their purposes well, in training Nate and perhaps helping him adjust to the hustle and bustle of the 1980's.  General Wade Eiling's face is just begging to be punched in!  Such a slimy, self-serving jackass.  You read this while picturing the moment that Atom is just going to haul off and sock him!  Such a great antagonist.  The mysterious happenings behind Adam's accusation of treason is a great underlying way to keep moving the story forward.

This was an ad-free (barring inside covers) issue.  At no point in my reading did the story feel as though it dragged.  Oftentimes in over-paged issues, there may be a lull or downtime) in the narrative.  Captain Atom #1 sidesteps all that quite handily, every scene felt as though it mattered.

I feel as though by reading this issue, I've kinda talked myself into doing another full read-through of the series... it really is that good.

I can't not think of the McDonald's Mac Tonight Moon Man mascot.

Pat Broderick is definitely one of my top artists of the 1980's.  I honestly cannot think of anything he's drawn that I haven't liked.  I recently started a read-through of the Fury of Firestorm, and was surprised with how much I dug the art.  Broderick's Captain Atom work is no different.  Fantastic stuff panel-in and panel-out.  Faces are clearly identifiable and highly emotive, an absolute treat to behold.  Action scenes are fantastic, and the settings are wonderfully detailed.

Highly recommended.  I hope that this summer's DC Comics Rebirth event facilitates the return of this Captain Atom.  If you're so inclined, DC's digital site has the first 31 issues of this series up at $1.99 per.  At least in my area, this series is easily found in the cheap-o bins.  If digital comics make your teeth itch like they do mine... maybe treat yourself to a "bin dive" sometime soon.  Either way, you should certainly check this series out.

Also... I have recently been introduced to a wonderful Captain Atom (and Booster Gold)-centric podcast.  Pop in on the Silver and Gold Podcast and read along!  You can follow the show on twitter @SNGPOD4779

--

Interesting Ads: (This was, for the most part an ad-free issue... pickins be slim)

[Bin Beat] Romper Room

I have heard that people who attend church every week get annoyed when the see the turn-out on Christmas Eve and Easter.  It's difficult to get a seat or a parking spot... they're cramped and uncomfortable... and they're stuck dealing with people that only show up once or twice a year.  This is just how I feel during coupon weekends at Half-Price Books.

All year long nobody cares about reading... toss'em a coupon?  It's Midnight Mass.  Suddenly everyone in town discovers the joy of shopping for books.  Nothing wrong with that... certainly makes good business sense... but, for me?  It's pretty annoying.

Now, I don't go into Public Service Announcement mode much.  Like, honestly... who am I to proclaim anything?  I'm just a jerk on the Internet... but... I think I've got something here.

The comic book section of Half-Price Books is NOT the store's daycare section.  Please do not leave your (under 5 year old) children climbing all over the shelves and bins, throwing product all over the floor, tearing covers off books... and just causing chaos.

First of all, if I'm the only adult present... I don't want to be the sole witness of your kid hurting themselves.

Secondly, I don't want the store to think these are my kids... and I'm letting them destroy their product.

Third, I don't want to feel responsible if one of your kids wanders off.  I've actually had parents ask ME where their kids went.  I have no idea lady... where did YOU go?

Very young children running around a store unattended, mixed in with a massive influx of new looky-loo couponers is a dangerous combination.  One I'd rather not have to deal with.  This is a freakishly common occurrence in HPB... at least the ones I frequent.

Parents patting their kids on the head, saying "Oh, go stand over by the ca-mecks.  Mommy will be over here." as they meander across the store toward the DVD section.  Jeez.

So, here's my weaksauce PSA: Do not leave your children unattended... and, not just because they're in my way... well maybe, partly because they're in my way.  I just don't want to be around if anything goes down.

--

This big coupon weekend was a bit of a letdown.  I had a few books on my peripheral radar, however they were either no longer available... or available and in cruddy condition... another unfortunate result of looky-loo butterfingers.  These books... torn covers, missing pages, and all will haunt (and irritate) me each time I return to the store.

The quarter-bin deities didn't so much smile upon me... though, they did smirk.

Decent, if not a tad underwhelming finds.  I was surprised to find "Superman Takes a Wife", which features the Golden-Age Superman's wedding to Lois Lane... a charming little tale, I'm super happy to have it.  Found the one issue of Grant Morrison's Happy! that has alluded me... can finally (eventually) give that a proper read.

Ran into some decent stretches of both early Azrael and Books of Magic.  Not sure I'll get around to them any time soon... still nice to have in the library.

The wacky find of the week was easily the King James Powerade promotional comic.  This kinda thing is why I'll always dig through the cheap-o bins.  You never know what offbeat oddity you're gonna come across.

In trades, the only thing that caught my eye was a import copy of Seth's George Sprott 1984-1975 from Random House.  I took an American Literature class some time ago, which focused on American comic books.  One of the books I had to read (and write a great deal about) was George Sprott.  I initially read a digital version provided by the University... I'm glad to now have a physical copy.  Used my coupon on this one, so I only paid about four-and-change for it.

In the manga clearance section, I came across the final five volumes of Video Girl Ai.  A few summers ago I read through Masakazu Katsura's I"s, and found myself enjoying it far more than I thought I would.  I've been grabbing Video Girl Ai volumes as I come across them in clearance, at a buck a'piece, I couldn't resist.  Ai's story comes across so charmingly 1980's, looking forward to completing my set.

So, all told... This coupon-weekend did not go as well as I would have hoped... though, I can't say I'm completely disappointed.  Hope all my fellow hunters had a fun time, and made some great finds!

Thanks for reading.

***DCBS Update***

Just received last week's Discount Comic Books Service order, so for completionist's sake...

King James, Starring LeBron James (2004)

King James, Starring LeBron James (2004)
"The King of Basketball"
Writer - Gary Phillips
Penciller - Damion Scott
Inker - Sandra Hope
Colorist - Carrie Straehan
Letterer - Kenny Lopez
Flava - James Marsh
Art Director - Maria Cabardo
Editor - Ron Perazza

Now what in the hell?

In 2004, DC Comics teamed up with LeBron James and the Coca-Cola company to produce a promotional comic book promoting the new Flava23 Sourberry Powerade.  Oi.  This is one I just found in the cheap-o bins, and seeing the DC bullet in the top left corner, knew I had to have it.

Powerade has become something of a joke in my home of late.  Recently my wife had fallen ill with a hard-to-shake sinus infection compounded with a terrible bout of bronchitis.  As it often goes, she was feeling especially ill during a time in which she would not be able to get in to see her normal doctor.  She was having some breathing challenges, spells of dizziness, as well as a fair amount of pain.  We found the nearest Urgent Care center, and popped in for a visit.

After waiting a good hour or so, we were finally seen.  The doctor (I think he was a doctor...) performed an examination and said he'd write up a few prescriptions.  He told my wife that on top of everything else, she was dehydrated.  He advised us to pick up Vitamin Water... but absolutely forbid us buying Gatorade or Powerade.

Because, you see... both Gatorade and Powerade... were made by... the Nazis.

We both gave a courtesy giggle, figuring the doc was just making a poor attempt at humor... however, he became positively stone-faced... and repeated his warning.

"The Nazis?", I asked.

Deadly-serious, he told us that the Nazis invented Gatorade and Powerade as a way of giving us cancer.  He began naming every artificial color under the sun, while writing two my wife's two prescriptions... simultaneously.  He wrote with both hands at the same time... didn't much matter, I suppose... couldn't read either of them well enough to know what they said anyway.

Now, not being any sort of cancer specialist, I offered that I did not know the 'ades contained any carcinogens.  He quickly corrected me, saying they weren't carcinogens... they caused cancer.

I looked at the wife, and suggested it was time we took our leave.  As we left, he kept repeating "Vitamin Water... Not Gatorade."
"Vitamin Water... Not Powerade."

We left to fill the prescriptions, and while there stocked up on some Acai Berry Vitamin Waters.  I may be an idiot, but I ain't no Ratzi.

With all that being said, I must assume that LeBron James is fighting the good fight against the Third Reich in the titanic tale to follow...

--

hey!

Before our story begins we are treated to a short text piece allegedly written by LeBron James in which he attempts to explain what "flava" is.  He continues to claim that the ink that printed this issue received an actual infusion of Powerade.  He is not kidding!  I can not corroborate this claim, however... this book just tastes like paper to me.

Our story opens in Hawaii with the not-yet King, LeBron James slam-dunking on a basketball-face-painted warrior called Julius.  Don't dare call him that though, he goes by Reaper.  One of LeBron's entourage cheers on, calling that slam-dunk "the flava"... so maybe that's what "flava" is?  The Reaper dismisses LeBron's attempt at sportsmanship, claiming he doesn't shake hands with nobody.

Don't leave me hangin' Julius...

Off to the side, shadowy organization, The Hetairia (which most online dictionaries define as simply "a society or association") reveal themselves as having set-up the street-ball tournament LeBron finds himself competing in.  This Hawaiian match was only the first round.  If our man is to truly become the King of Basketball, he has three more trials ahead of him.  Next stop, Siberia.

On the plane LeBron downs an orange Powerade with the quickness, as his buddies discuss the finer points of the cold weather they're about to encounter.  When they land, LeBron and his entourage don Captain Cold-esque winter coats, and approach the next challenge.  Somebody must have spiked the onboard Powerade supply, as one of the guys says the following: "How come we this whole thing didn't take place in tropic Hawaii?"  Say what, now?

LeBron meets his next opponent, Yuri Dragonin... but you can call him "Abominable".  Towering over LeBron, with his dreadlocks and maybe (in some panels?) wearing an eye patch, Yuri is one imposing dude.  He tries to psyche our man out by referencing Akron, Ohio... Why... he knows LeBron's hometown!!!

Get outta my head, Yuri!

LeBron thinks to himself how the cold "zaps" his energy... and the floor of this b-ball court is slick.  He regains his composure remembering a time he spoke to his mother.  She tells him that Hetairia have been involved in this deadly game ever since she was a child.  Basketball tournaments are not to be trifled with.

The game begins.  Yuri is quite the trash-talker, constantly in our man's face... busting his chops about how cold it is.  Tell us something we don't know, Dragonin.  Yuri is also a filthy cheater, elbowing LeBron in the gut.  It gets shrugged off, no blood equals no foul... right, James?  LeBron is able to wrangle control of the ball, much to his buddies' delight.  One says "That's what I'm talking about."... while another exclaims, "Fo' Sho'."

Somehow, Yuri makes an icicle fall from the ceiling right above a cheerleader... yeah, there are cheerleaders in Siberia, cheering on a one-on-one, underground super-secret basketball tourney.  LeBron leaps into action saving the pom-pom girl, while Yuri takes it to the hoop.  It's no matter, though, LeBron still comes out victorious.  Yuri promises they will meet again... I can hardly contain my excitement.

Next stop, Australia.  LeBron downs another Powerade on the plane, and then we look into his cold-dead eyes.  LeBron's (well, everyone's) eyes throughout this entire issue are terrifying gaping sunken black holes in his face.  Just empty sockets... very unsettling to behold, indeed.

Glad we agree, your highness!

In Australia, LeBron is pitted against contortionist Larry Samuels, now known as Flexxor.  On his court, up looks like down... and down is out of sight (dy-no-mite)!  The entourage tries to brainstorm how LeBron will find his way out of this one.  One member, while introspectively stroking his chin says as long as LeBron knows that a straight line is always a straight line... he should be okay.  Jeez, what is in this Powerade, anyway?  Is this the result of being under the influence of "flava"?

LeBron is struggling to maintain control of the ball while doing quantum physics in his head, however eventually comes out on top.  We actually observe super villain Flexxor score three times to LeBron's one.. so I must assume in Australian-rules basketball there is a 7-point shot.  Or am I just not following the art?  Either way, LeBron wins... yay.

It's now time for the finals.  LeBron and Company are now Brooklyn bound.  They somehow make it all the way from a tent in the middle of the outback to the Brooklyn sewers in 11 hours.  A quick check of kayak.com shows a flight from Sydney to JFK as 25 hours.  They must be mixing Powerade in with the jet-fuel.

In Brooklyn we meet LeBron's final opponent.  Henry Isaacs aka The Magistrate!  It is a competitive hard-hitting match-up.  The two masters are going shot for shot, neither with a distinct advantage.  It isn't until we zoom in on LeBron's soulless eyes at a moment where he is thinking about his mother that the tide turns.  LeBron breaks away and scores the winning point.  Only now is LeBron James truly worthy of the title of "King of Basketball".

Good Luck sleeping tonight.
This may replace the Starro and Egg-Fu in my nightmares...

LeBron and the Magistrate shake hands and tell the Hetairia to hit the bricks.  This isn't a game to them... the game's what it's all about.  Wait, what?

LeBron and Co. walk off the court as our newly-crowned King of the Courts takes a no-look shot on net.  They fear that this story is far from over, lucky for us... it is.  Our adventure ends with a satisfying "swishh".

--

Okay, this was horrible.

Can't really say it any plainer than that.  Granted, this was a promotional giveaway (allegedly there are upwards of three-million of these floating around out there)... and as such was likely meant to be disposable fluff.  I get all that... perhaps analyzing it as if it were anything but is unfair... but, here we are.  I really do have a difficult time completely bagging on any comic, but I cannot think of anything nice or redeeming to say at this juncture.

The writing was light.  This is a Powerade ad, after all.  I don't believe it was endeavoring to be "high art", but even so... it was pretty stilted.  Dialogue was clunky and wildly unnatural.  It was as though everyone was narrating the story... while also being in the story.  I can't see how this all got past both an Editor's and a Flava-er's desk.  I must admit I'm not familiar with the writer, however, I must assume if left to his own devices he would be capable of a much better story than this.

The art is... well let's say, stylized.  Characters were rather disproportionate, extremities were absolutely everywhere.  Arms that spanned yards, legs that reached for miles.  Rubber band men every which way.  Again... I get what they were going for... I think... maybe not.  It's all pretty difficult to follow, and not very pleasant to look at.

For this being a Powerade ad, there's actually very little in the way of product placement.  LeBron takes maybe two swigs the entire issue.  It doesn't help his performance on the court... it wasn't like Popeye's can of spinach, it's just a refreshing throat-stinging beverage while sitting on an international flight.

I'd be remiss to leave this out.  The Sourberry Powerade is apparently something James had a rather big part in, if this (credible?) source is to be believed.  I submit for your approval, from LeBron James, King of the Court by B.J. Robinson (2005): "... according to USA Today, as part of his six-year deal with Coca-Cola, LeBron 'sat with chemists and scientists: to develop Flava23, a red sourberry flavor for his own Powerade.  LeBron said via email from Athens, to USA Today, that he 'picked a color close to the Cavalier's road jersey.  I chose sour berry because I like the fruity taste."

Not recommended for reading... may be a neat oddity to have in your library.  Be forewarned though, tho we may travel around the world, we never do find out exactly what "flava" is.

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Interesting Ads: (sensing a theme? edition)