Stanley and his Monster #2 (1993)

Stanley and his Monster #2 (March, 1993)
"Old Friends"
Writer & Penciller - Phil Foglio
Inker - Chuck Fiala
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Robbie Busch
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Cover Price: $1.50

Another revisit here at the ol' blog.  I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the first chapter of this four-issue miniseries, I figured why not see how everything winds up.

--

Note: If you need to catch up, check out my review/discussion of Stanley and his Monster #1, right here.

We open with a brief vignette in a dive bar.  An oafish fellow with a propeller hat approaches a disheveled blonde man, who is wearing a trench coat and smoking cigarettes... hmm, sound familiar?  Our man, who introduces himself as Weevil Dendrite believes he has found the magician John Constantine (and honestly, so did I)!  The blonde fellow becomes aggressively annoyed, and plainly states he is not John Constantine... he is Ambrose Bierce!

This guy?

No... This guy.

Weev' is trying to show off his latest divination, Jellomancy... which is pretty much exactly as it sounds.  Not-John throws the oaf out where he quickly finds himself squirrel food.

Back at the tree-fort, Nyx tells our Monster that he's wanted back in Hell.  Apparently Lucifer himself stepped down... the new rulers of Hell from the first issue are unaware of Luci's prior dealings.  A romantic relationship between Nyx and the Monster is alluded to, wherein the Monster left Nyx when he decided to become "nice".  In a surprisingly gory scene, Nyx tears at the Monster with her claws leaving puddles of blood splattered all throughout the tree fort.  A lucky "astoundingly coincidental" bolt of lightning hits the fort, sending both parties flying.  The Monster regains his bearings and bolts.

I'll be damned.
I just noticed that there's no Comics Code Authority stamp on this one...

Inside the Stanley house, there's a knock at the door.  Wouldn'tcha know, it's Ambrose Bierce.  His car just happened to break down in front of their home.  Stanley's mother invites Bierce to wait for the mechanic to arrive in their house, rather than out in the rain.  Stanley inadvertently rubs Bierce the wrong way by invoking the name of one John Constantine.  He gets back at the boy by tricking him with a reverse-squirting water gun (which is filled with Holy Water, natch).

Outside, the Monster is biding his time in the rain.  He must decide how to continue.  He wants to return to Stanley, but fears Nyx will follow him.  He decides he will return to Hell and hopefully straighten things out with the new management team.  He sneaks into Stanley's house, and see's Bierce.  Thinking Not-John to be Nyx in disguise, our Monster submits to him.

As this is going down, Nyx actually does disguise herself... as a Pilgrim?  Wouldn'tcha know it, her horse just happened to throw a shoe right outside the Stanley residence.  She too is invited inside.  Once there she sheds her disguise and forcefully grabs Stanley's father.  Stanley comes at her with the trick squirt-gun, which she luckily swipes and turns on him.  The Holy Water squirts her right in the eyes, burning them (as she's a demon, you see...).  The Monster hits a tremendous clap on poor Nyx's melon, knocking her out cold.

Stanley, Bierce and the Monster sit and ponder their next move.  Bierce plainly states that he could destroy Nyx... the Monster refuses, as he wonders if one day they won't be together again.  Bierce has no choice but to put a spell of binding on the Monster, as that is the only way Nyx will take him back without potentially harming the family.  In so doing, he transforms the Monster into a small toy resembling My Pet Monster.

Eh? Nahhh...

Thaaat's better.

Before they can attend to Nyx, she has already regained consciousness.  She too mistakes our mad-magician for John Constantine.  This time, he just gives up and plays along.  Rather than risk dealing with Nyx or Hell in the future, he decides that "John" can take all the credit for this event.

Stanley steps in to inform Nyx that it's only because of the Monster that Bierce didn't straight-up destroy her when he had the opportunity.  Bierce?  Oh, yeah... Stanley outs Not-John as Bierce.

Nyx picks up the Monster Doll, and pops back to Hell... not before telling Bierce she'd look him up the next time she's in town.  At the throne of Hell's Angels... err, the Angels that now rule Hell, that is... Nyx hands over the itty-bitty Monster doll.  The Angels hit it with a "Dispel", and it is revealed that her Monster was in another castle.

Back at casa Stanley, our Monster emerges from behind the couch.  Bierce presents him with a Talisman that will fool the masters of Hell, and keep them from finding him in the future.  Just as all of our problems appear to be solved... Stanley's parents walk in on the proceedings.  Ruh-roh...

--

Another super-fun issue of Stanley and his Monster.  This one found a wonderful balance of action and humor, and kept me entertained the whole way through.  The addition of our John Constantine stand in was humorous.  I have to wonder if this was a gag on a Doom Patrol issue that was supposed to feature John Constantine until editorial nyx... er, nixed it causing Grant Morrison to create his own J.C. stand in, Willoughby Kipling.

Constantine-alike, Willoughby Kipling
From Doom Patrol (vol.2) #47 (Sept. 1991)

This story was silly and somewhat touching.  The Monster cares so much for Stanley and his family that he would risk his own safety and comfort in returning to Hell.  The cliffhanger is a great one, and I find myself looking forward to the next issue.  All told, an excellent outing.

Not much to add as it pertains to the crafting of this issue... I pretty much said everything that needed said in my review of the first issue.  I am still kind of on the fence in regard to Foglio's art.  The character of Nyx, especially.  It used to be when I thought of Phil Foglio, a character not so different from Nyx would be what I'd picture.  I can appreciate all of the character designs otherwise.  Nyx... I dunno, I just don't want to look at her.

As with the first issue, grab it on the cheap, I don't think you'll be sorry.

--

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Hero Hotline #2 (1989)

Hero Hotline #2 (May, 1989)
Writer & Colorist - Bob Rozakis
Artist - Stephen DeStefano
Inker - Kurt Schaffenberger
Letter - John Costanza
Editor - Brian Augustyn
Cover Price: $1.75

So impressed was I with the Hero Hotline, I decided to check in on their next issue.  It's funny when you have books in your collection for years and years... just sitting there, unread.  Just acting like collection fodder... or collection flavor, I suppose.  This is just another one of those reasons I started blogging.  It gave me a productive excuse (which, perhaps I needed) to dive head-first into my boxes.

An unexpected bonus... I'm actually remembering a lot more of what I read... which, before now, I never realized was a problem.  I often think about books I like, or dislike... and I cannot put into words why I feel that way... or even remember parts of the stories that made me feel that way.  Suppose that's just one of the disadvantages to trying to think about a million things at once... yeah, that's what I'll go with.  Makes me sound smarter than I am!

Now, let's try not to become too transfixed on Mister Muscle's perky bottom on the cover (you just looked, didn't you?), and see what lurks inside!

--

Note: If you need to catch up, check out my Review/Discussion of Hero Hotline #1 here.

It is the next day at the Hero Hotline, and our young friend Hot Shot is being escorted in by his dear mother.  She is upset that her son has been put on the night shift.  Why, a superhero could get hurt working at night, don'tcha know?  The Coordinator reminds her that her little boy is both legally an adult and contractually obligated to work whatever shift the Hotline requires.

My main man, Voice-Over is reconnoitering with his buddy Invisible Fred over his Martian stakeout the night before.  Fred unfortunately has some bad news... it turns out he fell asleep (or, ya know... doesn't exist, and is just V-O throwing his voice...) and missed the entire thing.  This morning, the old woman under his protection had vanished.  Voice-Over is ordered by the Coordinator to find her.

We observe Diamondette studying for an Anatomy exam.  A piece of her background I neglected to include in my previous review is that Diamondette is a Med-School student.  As she studies, a report of a school bus hijacking is reported on the television news.  It turns out Microwavabelle's three children just so happen to be on board.  'Belle is chomping at the bit to get to the scene, however, is told not to interfere by the Coordinator.  He feels the appearance of superheros may cause the situation to escalate.

Voice-Over and Fred arrive at the old woman's house to check for clues.  Everything seems normal... boring, even... until, under an easy chair cushion V-O finds an alien ray gun!

Back at the bus, the hijackers begin making their demands.  Diamondette and SOOZ do their best to comfort Microwavabelle.  A call comes through for Stretch, it's his favorite (read: absolute least favorite) kind of call... a cat stuck in a tree.  The guy with the stretchy powers always gets stuck pulling kitties outta trees.  He phones his daughter, Eloise and tries to postpone their lunch plans as SOOZ pushes him out the door.

The abusive husband (who we now know as Mr. Bartoli) from the previous issue arrives at HQ.  He is both bandaged and lawyered up.  Bartoli's lawyer, Mr. Schuster announces that they will be pressing charges against Mister Muscle and the Hero Hotline for damages.  Upon hearing this, Mister Muscle does what any defendant would do... oils up!

Stretch arrives at the scene of the missing cat.  It turns out this cat chose to get stuck in a tree... on a block absolutely jammed full of trees.  What's worse, the Tubby (from Little Lulu) lookalike who called in the ticket hasn't the foggiest idea which tree the kitty ran up.  Stretch calls in to see if Private-Eyes can give an assist, P.I's however is just about to head out on a trouble call himself... in search of a lost will.  A call he will attend to as soon as he finishes examining Miss Boulder's... er, upper respiratory system.

Microwave Mom can finally stands no more... she heads out to the site of the hijacking.  When her absence is discovered, SOOZ assembles and orders the rest of the team to the school bus.

'Belle has a brief standoff with the hijackers, who are now threatening physical violence to one of her own children.  She 'waves the knife he is brandishing, causing him to drop it.  Even unarmed, he poses a threat.  He cinches in a tight headlock on Microwave Mom's daughter.

The team arrives and instantly makes their presence felt.  Diamondette uses her diamond-strong hands and slices the bus open.  Mister Muscle follows up by turning that slice into a large hole.  The other hijacker threatens to detonate a grenade.  Luckily, Private-Eyes is present to inform the team that the grenade she's wielding is in fact, a fake.

In the confusion, Microwave Mom fires a 'wave bolt into the first hijacker's gut causing him to release her daughter.  Mister Muscle crushes the fake grenade along with the hand that was holding it.  Diamondette then slices the first hijacker's gun in half.  The police intervene and take control of the situation.

Back at the tree-lined road, Stretch is now calling his daughter to cancel lunch... and try to make dinner plans.  Those plans would also fall through, as he continues seeking the cat into the night.  Finally, Tubby realizes that his cat was asleep in a box the whole time.  Stretch freaks out and runs off as... hey, a Little Lulu lookalike joins Tubby.

Private-Eyes finally arrives to the great will-search, and is led to a room almost packed to the ceiling with paper-filled boxes.  Any small talk Private-Eyes attempts is brushed off by the couple.  They are only interested in finding their Grandfather's will.  Finally, it is located... much to the couple's chagrin, the Grandfather decided to leave them... his collection of important papers.

Microwavabelle and her children arrive back at Hero Hotline HQ.  Moments later, Voice-Over (and Fred) enter the scene, alien ray gun in tow.  Belle's son instantly recognizes the "ray gun" as a Captain Zingaroo Space Blaster... a toy.  Shocked, and embarrassed V-O (annnnd Fred) bolt out of the office to resume their search.

--

I'm still digging this.  Hero Hotline has proved to be a ton more fun than I was expecting.  In this part, we begin to flesh out some of the players.  Much of the information which was relegated to the "character bios" that closed out in issue #1 are now being peppered into the narrative.

We see Microwavabelle as a mother to her actual children, and not her teammates.  Her emotional outbursts throughout are just what one would expect from a mother whose children are in any sort of danger.  At one point she reflects back to having lost her husband... that would certainly compound her feelings of dread and urgency in this situation.

We get a brief look into Hot Shot's home life.  He may technically be an adult, however, from even his small part in this issue, we can see that he is not quite equipped to be one.  His mother still "babies" him, and it appears as though he treats this job as a 16-year old would treat an after school job at McDonald's.

Diamondette is that person you would see when you were working a crappy part-time job.  They would have their school books with them, and they wouldn't ordinarily socialize with the group.  They were the ones that wanted more for their lives than a menial entry-level gig, but knew they needed some way to support themselves while continuing their education.  I've seen that person... hell, I currently am that person.

Stretch's story is broadened a bit.  We now know he has a daughter with whom he is having trouble connecting.  We can tell that he wants this job at the Hotline to be more than what it is.  He's is sickened at the thought of being relegated to "cat rescue" guy... but, he performs to the best of his abilities... for one reason or another.

Upcoming plot threads are hinted at quite handily.  The pending lawsuit from Mr. Bartoli is surely something that will be revisited.  The wedding of Private-Eyes to Miss Boulder may also pan out in the remaining issues.  We still haven't seen the Coordinator yet, either.  Will be present himself?  Speaking of people we "haven't seen", we will have the continuing story of Fred and Voice-Over as they hunt for their client.

A lot of stuff to look forward to... and (without nit-picks) not a single complaint.  I'm looking forward to seeing how this one plays out.  Still recommended, definitely check this series out.!

--
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Heckler #1 (1992)

Heckler #1 (September, 1992)
"Our First Issue!"
Plot & Pencils - Keith Giffen
Script - Tom & Mary Bierbaum
Inks - Malcolm Jones III
Letters - Bob Pinaha
Colors - Tom McCraw
Editor - Kevin Dooley
Cover Price: $1.25

The Heckler is another one of those "clothes make the hero" books for me.  Just look at that costume... This book is begging to be bought and read.  So much so, that I nabbed this off the rack with absolutely no idea what I was in for.  As I've mentioned time and again, I (with very few exceptions) did not read DC in my youth.  So, for this to make me part with my hard(ly)-earned lunch money, it had to be special... plus, ya know... it was a number one.  That's gotta be good for something, no?

This book was so special I actually bought it twice!  During my great collection audit of 2010, I came to the tragic conclusion that this issue had somehow, during the last two-decades grown feet and escaped.  Hell, if there's any book that could actually grow feet... my money's on this one.

I bought a replacement copy, and... and it hurts me to say this, I paid $3.00 for it.  Such a humbling experience for a cheap-o bin aficionado, to be sure... but, I actually felt kind of itchy knowing that this was missing from my library.  Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Was it worth the double-dip?  Let's find out...

--

Now... how does one synopsize The Heckler?  Hrmm...

We open at a donut shop.  The owner and waitress are making conversation.  They discuss not having already seen one of their regulars, Stu Mosley.  There is a lot of background conversations going on at the same time offering the reader a look into the culture of the Beach District of Delta City.  Stu arrives and orders his usual.  He leaves, and takes the newly purchased donuts to Sgt. McDougal.  He passes a newsstand, and picks up the morning paper.  The cover story is related to the Heckler's snaring of King Mambo.

We shift uptown where the flamboyant face-painted organized crime lord Boss Glitter is brooding over Mambo's arrest.  He decides to assign Mambo's "turf" to another subordinate, El Gusano.  Gusano is none to pleased having to take over the Beach District, already having his hands full with the South Side of Delta City.  Glitter cheerfully informs him that this was not up for debate, and Gusano sheepishly obliges.

We join a semi-literate man in his attempt at writing a letter.  While he writes, some information comes over his computer.  Information that will prove most helpful to Stu, apparently.

Stu is part-owner of a Delta City greasy spoon called "Eats"... you wouldn't know that, as the sign-maker instead put up a sign that reads "Fats".  He is arguing with the sign people as his business partner, Britt arrives.  It is implied (if not said outright) that Britt is something of an absentee partner.  He does not hang around long... he takes some files, and leaves.

We now observe El Gusano performing his first Beach District shakedown.  He collects protection money from a local shop, and sounds shockingly reasonable about it.  Gusano appears to have the ability to tunnel through the Earth.  He emerges and retreats through the ground.  We follow him back to his apartment where he is informed that "The Nose" has been "nosing around".  He instantly knows that the Heckler has him in his sights.  He must plan their pending confrontation to ensure his best chance of survival.

Back at Fats... er Eats, Stu is talking with an overweight Elvis impersonator about Gusano's whereabouts.  Later we join Stu with the semi-literate fellow from earlier... it is here that it is revealed that Stu is in fact, the Heckler.  He decides the time is right to strike.

The Heckler heads into the night, only to find the way to El Gusano illuminated by neon signs.  To rattle Gusano's cage, the Heckler decides to call him and ask for directions instead... from the man's own car-phone!  This throws Gusano into a rampage, he tunnels through to the Heckler's location, destroying his own car in the process.

The eventually meet, and the Heckler gets punched through a nearby wall.  Gusano flees via tunneling, and Heck' gives chase.  The pursuit ultimately leads to an amusement park... and somewhere in the fracas, it became Gusano who was doing the chasing.  The Big Heck climbs all the way up a flight of steps leading to a super-slide.

As Gusano approaches, Heck pounces.  Gusano falls down the super-slide and picks up such speed that he winds up tunneling as soon as he hits the ground.  He ultimately winds up by the water, beaten and battered.

As Heck basks in his victory, we overhear Johnny Gearshift's morning radio show.  He discusses the Heckler's altercation with El Gusano and questions whether our man is a... "Hero or Menace"... Now, I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before...

--

That was perhaps the most taxing synopsis I've ever written.  This book has a lot of stuff going on in it... but, as I say... is it any good?

Oh, absolutely.  This is a fine book, and people should definitely check it out.  It's strange, offbeat, and at times hard to follow... but still most definitely worth a read.

The writing is quite good.  We get a decent feel for this nook of Delta City via conversations we overhear.  This feels like a grimy yet somewhat charming burg.  Each citizen seems to have some measure of... for lack of a better term, insanity.  From the Heckler himself, to Boss Glitter, to our Elvis impersonating friend, these are strange individuals... damaged, even.  We get just a small taste (just enough, really) of all these outlandish characters and personalities... really whetting the reader's appetite for more.

Keith Giffen's art here is not as clean as his Legion work, though not as manic and terrifying as Hex, or even his work on Trencher for Image Comics.  For the most part, I could follow the action.  Briefly during the Heckler/Gusano tussle I did lose my place, but otherwise I have no real complaints.  This kind of art fits this kind of story like a glove.  I get such strange deja vu from Ted McKeever's Metropol reading this... it's really something that should be experienced.  It's unfortunate (though, not surprising) that it only lasted six issues.

Every page (minus the first) is a straight up nine-panel grid.  This makes for very "busy" and potentially overwhelming looking pages.  I sometimes had to look away for a moment before diving back in.  The Bierbaums and Giffen absolutely pack each and every page/panel full of content.  There is a lot to follow here!

No digital, no collected edition... so, if you are so inclined... this is a single-issue endeavor.  It's well-worth cover price, though of late (at least locally) this entire series has been surfacing in the cheap-o's.  Keep an eye out, you won't be sorry... or, maybe you will be.  Mileage may vary.  But, ya know... read it.  Or don't... but do.

--

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