Flash #340 (1984)

Flash #340 (December, 1984)
"Reach Out and Waste Someone!"
Writer/Editor - Cary Bates
Penciller - Carmine Infantino
Inker - Frank McLaughlin
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Letterer - Ben Oda
Cover Price: $0.75

The Trial of the Flash.  This is one of those legendary stories... usually invoked when folks are discussing their least favorite runs of a given comic book.  Much of the negativity surrounding this one is its extreme length.  This one story arc was long enough to not only fill an entire SHOWCASE Presents volume... but long enough to fill one of the very longest SHOWCASE Presents volumes.  Lemme tell ya... it's one helluva read.  One helluva... long read.

Gonna discuss the first issue that (very briefly) features the actual trial today.  I suppose a bit of backstory is required.  Some dozen or so issues prior (#323), the Flash (Barry Allen) was set to marry his lady love (Iris had died some time earlier).  The Reverse-Flash attempted to murder Barry's betrothed before the wedding could take place... only, the Flash managed to snap his neck before he could do it!  Now, the Flash is up on manslaughter charges... for killing the Reverse-Flash.  Crazy, right?  This storyline would continue until the end of this volume of Flash (#350)... where Barry would walk off into the sunset... er, into the Crisis on Infinite Earths... we all know how that worked out for him.

I think that's enough to bring us up to speed on the overall story.  I'll fill in any other tidbits as we work through this one.

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We open with Big Sir carrying the unconscious body of the Flash as he soars above a mountain range somewhere at "parts unknown".  Ya see, the Rogues had convinced Big Sir that the Flash... killed his pet mouse.

Speaking of the Rogues... we check in with them back in either Keystone or Central City, can't remember which.  The police have hit the scene... and are easily taken down by Trickster and Weather Wizard.  We get a recap of the Big Sir attack on Flash, and the Rogues pat themselves on the back as they head off to their next major felonies.

We shift scenes to the rubble that was once the mountainside home of Flash's lawyer, Cecile Horton.  A few issues earlier, her house was totally destroyed by an avalanche.  As she and her assistant Dwayne are digging through the wreckage, they are approached by a fella named Mr. Dreed... an ESPer who the police hired to find Barry Allen.  Following the attempted murder of his fiance, Barry was presumed missing.

Dreed has followed the psychic vibrations of a ring belonging to Barry to the wreckage belonging to Ms. Horton.  She tells him she's hasn't the foggiest idea what he's talking about, and sends him away.  She is unaware that Barry Allen and her client the Flash are one in the same.

We rejoin Big Sir as he dum-de-dums in front of a fire.  Flash returns to consciousness only to find that he's chained to a post inside Sir's cave.  No matter how hard he tried, he is unable to break the chains... they're made of pure energy, donchaknow.

Here we get a bit of a refresher course on Dufus "Big Sir" Ratchet.  Yup, his name is Dufus.  We learn that Ratchet was sedated and abducted by the Rogues, fitted with his futuristic armor, and told that the Flash murdered his pet mouse... who I'm hoping is named Algernon.

While Barry bellows on, Dufus gets distracted.  There's a... really odd looking bear cub stranded on a mountain ledge some distance away.  Big Sir, the lover of animals that he is, launches himself in the general direction of the cub.  He almost manages to rescue the li'l bugger, but slips off the ledge... and kayos himself.

Back at the offices of Farley & Horton (Attorneys at Law).  Cecile is chain-smoking, annoyed that her client is nowhere to be found when his trial begins in less than 24 hours.  There's also a mention of a "bombshell announcement" from the District Attorney... a footnote promises that will be revealed next issue.

Back in the caves... Flash vibrates himself out of the energy chain (why didn't he do that in the first place?).  He than creates a stone bridge... by throwing a few dozen stones, then running across them... in order to rescue Big Sir.  The pair decide to let bygones be bygones, and become friends.  Fair enough.

We not jump to the Trial of the Flash being called to order.  Special notice is made of Cecile's wardrobe choice for the event... looking more like a schoolmarm or Mrs. Roper than a high-powered lawyer.  Flash pops his head in right in the nick of time... and our case is (finally) underway.

--

Yeah, this one's a bit rough.

You can see that many of the criticisms levied at this story are at least somewhat justified.  This is a slow-moving story... almost painfully slow.  Kind of a bait-and-switch cover too, isn't it?  I really expected more than one page in the courtroom... and I'm sure many of the folks who snatched this one off the racks did as well.

Instead, we get a... pretty lousy Big Sir story.  That's kind of a let down... he's hardly interesting in the best of times... here, he's quite the unwelcome presence.  He almost feels like a sort of anachronism here... I mean, this is supposed to be the beginning of a (somewhat) serious story... and the dude's name is Dufus... Dufus?... Dufus!  Yeesh.

Really not sure if Cary Bates was instructed to stretch this bugger out for as long as he could... but, this really feels like filler.  Especially with hindsight telling us that this story is going to continue plodding along for the next ten months.  Carmine Infantino's art here comes across rather lifeless and flat... which, as much as I hate to say it... kinda fits the story.

I have a hard time recommending this... while at the same time I don't really wanna give it the "avoid" stamp.  This is a... strange time in Flash, as well as DC Comics overall.  When this issue hit the stands, the Crisis on Infinite Earths was already in the works.  Everything was up in the air at this point... gotta wonder if Flash already had his ticket punched by now.

Wish I could say that SHOWCASE Presents: Trial of the Flash was an easy option for this one... but, at least online... it's going for a terribly inflated rate.  If you can find it at your local shop, or used bookstore... well, maybe give it a flip through.  It's not for everyone... and may just be one'a those things that tickle wannabe comics historians such as myself.

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Green Lantern (vol.2) #196 (1986)

Green Lantern (vol.2) #196 (1986)
"3"
Writer - Steve Englehart
Penciller - Joe Staton
Inker - Bruce Patterson
Letterer - L. Lois Buhalis
Colorist - Anthony Tollin
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $0.75

This cover always reminds me of one day back around the turn of the century when I was working as a manager for a pretty large call center in town.  I worked nights, and had to unlock one of the training rooms for a crew of new hires.  When I did, one of them noticed that I had a Green Lantern key chain... the Kyle Rayner green and black logo.  He noticed it, and mentioned he was a fan... but we didn't get to talk much more than that.

That morning when I was getting ready to go home, I found a note under my windshield wiper blade... I picked it up, unfolded it, and found the message "Guy Gardner is a douche bag".  I chuckled then, and I'm chuckling now just thinking about it.

--

We open with Guy Gardner returning to Earth following the events of Crisis on Infinite Earths #9.  He is lamenting the fact that it has taken him this long to become a Green Lantern due to the simple fact that he was further away from the ring when Abin Sur passed away.  It is revealed that he and Hal were equal in all respects of ring-wielding readiness... but, Hal just happened to be in the neighborhood when Abin bit it.

Guy blasts some trash on the streets of Baltimore, and by that I mean garbage... not people.  He then dives into the ocean in order to find an irradiated shark so that he may save the universe... sure, Guy.

We shift scenes to a ring-less Hal Jordan who is being returned to his home after an unsuccessful attempt to get in on the Crisis.  It's the hottest crossover around, donchaknow.  The Guardians gave him the "pfff", and sent him home... that's okay though... Hal's happy to be retired... just listen to him say it, over and over again!

We now shift to John Stewart, another returnee from the Crisis.  He surveys the Earth as he approaches, and notes that it's not exactly as he'd left it... but not too terribly different either.  His first order of business?  Check in with his chick, Katma.  

He finds her working clearing away some avalanche damage.  They embrace, and he shares with her not only his "What I did at Crisis" report, but the good news that the Crisis has been averted altogether.  Katma, however, is not convinced as she feels there's still an energy barrier surrounding Oa.

Back with Guy, he comes across the radioactive shark that apparently gave Hal a run for his money some time prior.  The shark man is one of the goofiest villains I've seen, and is most definitely one of those "why I read Marvel instead of DC when I was a kid" things. 

Derrrrrrrrp

They fight a bunch, and the shark uses his mental powers to turn the seas yellow... let's hope that was his "mental powers" Guy!

For your sake, I hope that's his "mental powers"

They fight some more, and finally the shark uses his mental powers to grow to the size of a (freakin') giant.  He grabs Guy and prepares to feed... when he realizes the Lantern he's looking for is in another castle... or apartment, or wherever the hell Hal is staying.  Guy is tossed away like so much rubbish, and the shark-man hunts on.

We watch as Hal drops in on John Stewart at his apartment.  I'd forgotten that they didn't really know one another all that well at this point.  Hal reveals to John that he was his predecessor, and that he's come to warn him about the man they call Guy Gardner.  They exchange a number of pleasantries as they chat, including John being surprised that Hal left his Lanternhood behind to shack up with the Star Sapphire.

John asks Hal about the energy barrier, and he's advised that it's no big thing, and if he's so worried he should just use his "energy twin" to check it out.  The energy twin thing looks kinda like when Professor X does his astral planing... just more green than pink.  John cannot finish his investigation, however, as the shark man has found it's desired meal... and it's his current house guest!

John tosses Hal in a bubble and readies himself for war.  This is what's so great about John.  He's always planning... always thinking.  Rather than wait for the shark to turn yellow (via it's... mental powers!), he surrounds it with a bubble and waits for it to pass out from lack of oxygen.  Even though this beastie lives underwater, it still needs to breathe!

With the slumbering shark still in it's bubble, Guy arrives on the scene.  He reveals that he's taking the shark with him... because he's putting together a crew (at the behest of the last living "true" Guardian) to head off to the Anti-Monitor's home base on the Moon of Qward... to destroy it.

John won't go for that (no can do), so he tells Guy to cool his jets... after all the Anti-Monitor's dead!  We wrap up with Guy and John going nose to nose... ring versus ring...

--

I really enjoyed this one.  Amazingly dense, while at the same time smoothly flowing.  I was shocked that it took me a decent clip of time to read through it.  Surprised that this one didn't get the Crisis on Infinite Earths tie-in banner, as this bugger had a lot to do with it.  Much more than most of the red-sky tie-ins.

I made mention of the cover during the preamble.  This is one hell of a striking cover.  Guy looks like such a scumbag!  Great work from Howard Chaykin.

I like the idea that the Guardians are split on how to face the Crisis.  It would make sense that there could be an ideological split among the group, with some just accepting their fate, and others fighting until their dying breath.  It also makes sense that the fighters would see Guy as something of a willing savior.  He doesn't give a damn... he'll destroy a planet, if you let him.

John being the yin to that yang is great to see as well.  He should be the more reserved and collected Lantern.  These two characters work wonderfully well off one another regardless of the dynamic... buddies, rivals, whatever.

Hal felt wildly out of place throughout this one.  With all the spoo he's talking about being retired, and happily retired at that... you get the distinct impression he's more trying to convince himself rather than those around him.

All in all, a good time.  A really fun era for Green Lantern... worthy of a read.

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Titans #1 (1999)

Titans #1 (March, 1997)
"That Strange Buzzing Sound"
Writer - Devin Grayson
Penciller - Mark Buckingham
Inker - Wade Von Grawbadger
Colorist - Gregory Wright
Letterer - Comicraft
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.50

They say you can't go home again... and I do apologize for starting with such a cliche line.  But it's true, they say it.

I've done the whole "going home again thing" once or twice since I've hit adulthood, and found it an overwhelmingly disappointing experience.  Can't speak for everybody, o' course... but, for me... visiting my old New York stomping grounds after spending a significant time in Phoenix... there was just not all that much left there for me.

What was perhaps the most depressing was the realization that everybody just went on with their lives in my absence.  I'd almost convinced myself that I'd just stuck'em all in a cupboard to wait for my return.  That, of course, is ridiculous... and reality slapped me in the face like I owed it money.

I said all of that so that I may say this... The New (Teen) Titans were, for so many comics fans of the 80's (and early 90's)... home.  As fans, we followed them through the mouth of hell, into cults, on hunts... faced a judas in their midst, births, deaths, marriage, divorce... even Total Chaos!  They were a family... they were our family.

Around the turn of the century it was decided to take these characters... many of whom were placed in that figurative "cupboard", and try to bring the Titans faithful... home.  Can Titans fans every truly go home again?  Let's find out...

--

We open on Titans Island and a group of Titans new and old are in the midst of a full-scale battle with a small army of bee-themed supervillains.  This is occurring 14 hours after the team re-forms.

We flash back to a few days prior and find the original Teen Titans all crammed in a booth at the Dockside Diner.  After a bit of snappy small talk Wally addresses the elephant in the room.  (Following the events of JLA/Titans: The Technis Imperative) should the Titans be re-formed.  Dick instantly says no, claiming it would welcome many of their former enemies and threats back into existence as well... which sounds like a cop-out, Dick... even your pals are calling you out on it!

Speaking of threats... we switch scenes to a man talking on his awesome Nokia phone, as a hooded figure behind him shouts orders to enlist an army.  His name is Damien Darhk and he's standing on a hex-themed floor... hmm...

Back at the restaurant, Wally pulls Dick aside and tells him that Dick himself needs the Titans to be back more than anybody.  If not for the Titans, he'll rapidly become more and more like Batman... and that would be the worst thing in the world.  Dick relents, and decides 'what the hell?'... the two bet a tenner on which one of them will last the longest on this iteration of the team.

We shift scenes again to a fouled up bank holdup across town.  A bunch of really lame geeks try to rob a bank using a vial of some viscous green liquid.  It works about as well as you'd imagine.  They get cold feet, start addressing each other by their real names... you get the picture.

Back at the restaurant, the Old Titans decide that their team is going to be focused on the future... and as such, each member should draft a "second" into the fold.  Tempest picks... Cyborg.  This is a new-look Vic Stone, a golden malleable version... a version I never dug all that much.  Vic was also the cause of all the troubles in that recent JLA/Titans story, but is back to his old self... kinda.

Donna picks Argent.  Argent was a member of the Teen Titans team that was run by the... teenage Atom... yep, Ray Palmer as a teenager.  This was a relatively short-lived run, but I remember sorta-kinda liking it.  I guess Argent was the standout, as I always struggle to remember the names of her teammates.

Wally chooses Jesse Quick.  Another scarlet speedster... perhaps Wallace is getting ready to forfeit that ten-bucks to Dick already!

Roy picks Damage.  Damage is kind of the 90's version of the Human Bomb... and was a member of the Titans during the very end of the Marv Wolfman run.  Roy feels he didn't treat the boy quite right during their first association... and sees this as his opportunity to make things right.

Dick's pick's up last... and he chooses Starfire.  He also reveals that Starfire's back in his life, at least somewhat.  They're not romantically involved... she's just crashing on his couch for a bit.  Sure, buddy.

Back at the bank, the foulups are... just standing there... one of them is crying, when our old buddy Darhk enters the scene and offers them something of a salvation... kinda.

Back at the restaurant, the team is discussing financing their endeavor... and for some reason, Roy summons his inner Guy Gardner and tosses his soda in Garth's face.  That was kind of uncalled for... I didn't think Roy was ever that big a jackass.  

Anyhoo, Garth returns with a literal treasure chest full of gold, jewels, and... dinnerware, with which they will fund their rebuild.  The team is so thankful, they don't even help the poor guy carry the damn thing out!

We return to the present, and watch as the Titans oversee construction of their new digs.  Titans new, old, and otherwise all share pleasantries... which are soon interrupted by the sound of bees buzzing... ruh roh, they hired Buzz Construction for the job... don't they know they're a subsidiary of H.I.V.E.???

Sure y'are Maynard...

Titans Together... we're out!

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There's something about this issue... I've been torn on it since the first time I'd read it all them years ago.  There's a lot here to like, yet at the same time... it all feels just a bit off.

I mentioned during my overlong and over-precious preamble that the Titans are a family... and we kinda get that here... but at the same time, not.  It feels to me like the characters are in the "on" position... like, the patter is too snappy, and the gang is more interested in keeping up with each other's one-liners than actually saying anything of import... anything real.

These relationships rang oddly shallow.  It was almost as though I was reading a skewed superheroic episode of Friends... but, from the later seasons where the characters became more caricatures.  I'm sitting here, and it's like "Roy's bullying Garth... that's so Roy!"

Even with all that having been said, I cannot help but smile each time I read this.  While a bit shallow... seeing the Titans huddled into a booth at a restaurant gives me such a feeling of comfort.  Hard to explain, really... but it just does.  It's like getting an episode of your favorite television show after the series finale.  You don't need to worry about affecting the overall narrative... it's just fan-service... and let's face it, I think much of this series was predicated on the stuff.  That's okay though, I can dig it.

The picks for Junior-Titans (my term, not theirs) were a bit weird.  Cyborg and Starfire as Titan-seconds?  C'mon... they've got more Titan-hours under their belts than Tempest or Speedy... gimme a break.  I like the all-inclusive take on the other Titans-in-Training, however.  Argent, Damage, and Jesse Quick are all pretty good characters that deserve their spots.

Devin Grayson's dialogue is quite good (and will continue to be) when it isn't bing-bang-boom snark-exchanges, and Mark Buckingham turns in his usual high level of quality (though I don't like his Donna).  I do love that while this issue has two-covers... they're both included with the book!  No goofy variant garbage!  One is your "main" cover, and when you open it up you're greeted by the "other" cover.  Good show!

The "other" cover

Overall, I think any Titans fan should check this one out... the series that follows is a bit peak-n-valley insofar as quality is concerned, if you ask me.  It feels as though there was some pretty heavy editorial interference throughout this entire series, as plots are quickly dropped, and at one point in the later run the Titans are almost relegated to background characters in favor of a group of kids from the D.E.O.  Those, I think you can safely skip...

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