Action Comics #484 (1978)

Action Comics #484 (June, 1978)

"Superman Takes a Wife!"

Writer - Cary Bates

Penciller - Curt Swan

Inker - Joe Giella

Letterer - Ben Oda

Colorist - Tatjana Wood

Editor - Julius Schwartz

Cover Price: $0.35

Let's take a trip... to Earth-Two!

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We open with a one-page retelling of Superman's origin and "mission statement".  Man, that would take six-issues these days!  We then shift to the Galaxy Buil... OOPS!  I mean the offices of the Daily Star... Welcome to Earth-Two, friends!

We join Superman taking out some robotic drones called the Mechanical Marauders, while pedestrians look on in awe.  The entire affair is cake for the Man of Steel... much to the chagrin of Colonel Future!  Who?  Just some old gaudily-dressed geek who wants to wipe out the Man of Tomorrow.

We shift ahead twenty-one minutes to join Clark Kent emerging from a certain storeroom at the Daily Star.  He runs into Jimmy Olsen and they engage in conversation as they walk away.  We then see Lois Lane enter the storeroom to fetch the infrared camera she planted in there to see just why Clark is so "fond" of this particular room.

We follow Lois to a dark room where a photo-fella tries to develop the film... unfortunately (for her) the footage is a total washout... it seems as though the film had been exposed to x-rays.  Hmm...  here we learn that Lois has a sneaking suspicion that her coworker may in fact be Superman.

We jump ahead three days and rejoin Colonel Future.  In his attempts to erase Superman he has recruited a down on his luck super villain by the inspired name of The Wizard.  He demonstrates his powers by flipping the entire world upside down for a time.  Colonel Future is impressed, and offers to give him the Glastonbury Wand in exchange for ixnayin' Superman.

The next day the news is out that Superman has "declared war" on the C-F Gang... "gang" really?  It's three guys... c'mon.  Anhyhoo, the "gangsters" fire a blast at a Armored Car for a heist right as Lois and Clark are crossing the street.  Clark gives Lois a bit of a shove to ensure her safety... which only emboldens her belief that he's got an "S" behind his necktie.

Clark rushes off to change, and easy wipes out two-thirds of the C-F Gang.  Unfortunately during the fracas, the Wizard is enacting an incantation to erase Superman by drawing the S-shield in the ground in the nearby countryside.  Superman vanishes from the Metropolis streets and reappears in the middle of the symbol... and begins to sink.

Some time passes... and a body begins to rise from the ground... it's not the body of Superman... but of Clark Kent.

Days go by and the Daily Star finds itself the home of quite a courageous Clark Kent... quite different from the weak-spined version they've known so long.  He is outgoing and brave and still hot on the trail of the C-F Gang... but of special note, he is wondering why Superman has suddenly disappeared.

Over the weeks and months (!) that follow, Clark and Lois' relationship grows closer... to the point where Clark takes her for a ride in the country... and proposes marriage!  In a single page we go from proposal... to engagement... to wedding... to the start of the honeymoon.  They did not mess around on Earth-Two!

On their honeymoon, Colonel Future's goons are tailing "nosy newshound" Clark Kent.  They fire a blast at him... and he doesn't even realize it.  Lois looks on, shocked.  This really fuels her suspicions that her new husband may be not quite human.  That night she hatches a plan to test her gut feeling.

The honeymoon ends, and the Kents return to Metropolis... all the while Lois is unsure how to proceed.  She isn't sure if Clark has chosen to stop Supermanning... or if he'd somehow forgotten.  She does a bit of... nebulous research... checking up on some leads within the super villain set.  By this point Superman has been missing for an entire year.  In that time many villains "took credit" for disappearing him.  Including one... even more down on his luck Wizard.

Lois meets with the shlub who's apparently homeless and sleeping on a park bench... but get this, he's still got that hoobeedoobie wand.  She appeals to his ego and convinces him to "reappear" Superman to show the world how powerful he really is.  That night Lois shares what she believes will be her last night as Mrs. Clark Kent.

The next morning, Lois holds a press conference promising the return of Superman.  She brings our phony Abra Kadabra on stage and... well, zaps Superman back!  In an awesome panel, Superman lands and just backhands the dope.  Colonel Future is watching the event on television and is given medicine by an assistant.  I have to assume in the year since Superman's been gone he's taken up residence in a retirement home.

Later that day, Superman returns home to find Lois packing her bags.  He is surprised and upset... as he remembers that they had been married.  Lois feels their marriage wasn't "real", and so Superman... proposes.  It's funny, all three members of the classic Superman "love triangle" have been part of this marriage.  How fitting is that?

Lois accepts the proposal, and this time they get married Kryptonian style... thankfully minus the Matricom.

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Decent enough... if not underwhelming issue of Action Comics.  You'd figure the wedding of Lois and Clark... even on Earth-Two would have... I dunno... been a bigger deal than one page featuring the proposal... and the wedding!  Maybe I'm just more accustomed to the more decompressed storytelling of the past several years... but, c'mon... not even a scene where they announce their engagement at the Daily Planet Star?  Oh well.

The villains here, and to anyone who has read this blog for awhile, I'm gonna sound like a broken record... they are just so boring.  I've said it before, it's mostly the DC villains that kept me a Marvel guy for so long.  Outside of a few rogues galleries... it's just dudes.  Here we have Colonel Future and the Wizard.  For a second, I thought it was Abra Kadabra, and thought that was kinda cool... but, no... just the Wizard.

The seventies-era and Earth-Two Supermen are something of a mystery to me... so, I really can't speak to Lois' suspicions about her coworker's dual life.  Did she think Clark was really Superman?  Or was that just a device for this issue?  Not sure... but, I'm hoping this was an ongoing thing by this point.  Seemed DC was able to "play" a bit more in Earth-Two, and I really don't have any problems with Lois snooping and eventually finding out... it only makes sense for an investigative reporter to, ya know... investigate.

Overall, I suppose this was a fun issue.  Wish it felt more important... but, I gotta remember that I'm peering into the past here.  When my Superman got married... shoot, the engagement lasted several years... was interrupted by the Death and Return... and culminated in an over-sized Wedding Special.  Back in the late-seventies there really wasn't a direct market to support that kind of storytelling.  For what it is... it's a fine issue that I'd recommend any Superman fans check out.

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(Probably in the place of the...) Letters Page:

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New Teen Titans #8 (1981)

New Teen Titans #8 (June, 1991)

"A Day in the Lives..."

Writer/Co-Creator - Marv Wolfman

Artist/Co-Creator - George Perez

Embellisher - Romeo Tanghal

Letterer - Ben Oda

Colorist - Adrienne Roy

Editor - Len Wein

Cover Price: $0.50

Today I'm gonna give the devil his due... we're going to discuss the first appearance of the Red Menace himself, Terry Long... in all his hairy-chested creepin' glory.  Hey, he even makes the cover!

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We open up on Starfire soaking in some of the "delicious" terrestrial weather while on her way to meet with teammate Donna Troy for brunch.  As she descends, she runs through in her mind how puzzling it is for her to not call Donna "Wonder Girl" when around people... and not to call her "Donna" when they're "on the job".  I never really consider how weird concepts like secret identities would be to... well, anybody who doesn't read comics.

We shift to Ms. Troy while she's working her day job as a photographer.  Today she's shooting what appears to be a topless jeans ad, featuring a trio of uncooperative models... particularly the one named Candy.  As Donna sends an assistant for a handful of aspirin, a Mr. DeLevi (likely Mr. Levi's Italian cousin) enters and reads Donna the riot act for making'a his'a Candy look'a like a spagett' in the photos.  Donna's about had enough for this day, and is about to tell this goofball off when... Starfire makes an appearance.  Suddenly, Mr. DeLevi thinks maybe'a his'a Candy is skinny like'a spagett... he now wants Ms. Anders as his Golden Jeans'a Girl!

Before we can get a solid commitment from Kory, she and Donna head out to their early lunch... this is where it happens, folks.  The first appearance of Terrence Long.  He's got quite a bit of "New York" hanging out in these panels.  I suppose I should qualify that... he's got a whole bunch of chest hair peeking out of his shirt.  Several years ago, I was working on a government contract as a quality assurance and logistics manager.  A really good friend of mine worked with me, and one day... I suppose I missed a button on my shirt.  Out of nowhere... from across an entire warehouse I hear his voice boom out "Ey Boss... ya New York's hangin' out!"  My first thought was to check my fly... but alas, he meant I was showin' off some chest hair.  Anyhoo... where was I?  Oh yeah, Terry's got his New York hangin' out.

We pop back in on Titan's Tower, and find Robin sayin' see ya to Raven.  We learn... or at least I learn that Robin is back in the circus game... which I must have forgotten ever happening.  

Raven retires to her room and does her meditation/soulself thing to check out Manhattan University.  At this point Kid Flash had been encouraging her to attend college.  Raven's soulself flies off and finds that the school is currently under terror... er, revolutionary attack.  They've placed bombs... for some reason.  A funny aside, they're shocked that the students haven't sided with them... because that's what kids are supposed to do, right?

Raven's soulself takes care of the bombs, and heads back to rejoin her physical body... however, it takes her just one second too long to make the return flight... and so, her soulself is... shunted into another dimension?

We get a one-page interlude featuring a grandfather and grandson entering a toy story where they'd received a message about receiving a free puppet.  The creepy toyseller hands over an equally creepy puppet.. while an even more creepy... Charlie McCarthy lookin' puppet looks on.  Man, Terry Long isn't the creepiest thing about this issue... Good on you, T.Long.

We shift scenes to Vic Stone's cruddy apartment where he and Gar are hanging out.  We learn that due to Victor's father's patents he's come into a fair amount of money.  Gar gets a phone call from Questor, who delivers some bad news... turns out that board members of (Steve) Dayton Industries are droppin' like flies, and young Master Logan is needed.  So he leaves... and stops a pair of street toughs from stealing his ride... by charging at them rhino-style.

We stick with Vic as he goes to visit his old girlfriend Marcy.  This is quite the unpleasant scene.  She hasn't seen him since he got all shiny and metally... and doesn't really react the way Vic would have hoped... she can't bear to look him in the face, and even goes as far as to ask why he didn't just die.

Vic knows when he's not wanted... and he leaves.  As he wanders through the park, lost in thought... he is beaned in the head by a baseball.  This is where we meet Sarah from the Special School, and the kids from the Special School.  Before Vic can make time with the cute blonde, he's swept into a game of baseball with the tots.

Now... we rejoin Raven... as she floats in the nothingness, and I kinda lose interest.  This goes on for a couple of pages... and will go on for a couple more later on... she's ultimately able to escape, and resist her hereditary evil.

We shift scenes to the West home in Blue Valley where Wally is considering hanging up the tights to become a full-time college student.  His parents... are really cool... they leave the decision up to him.  They talk about how proud of him they are regardless of the choice he makes.  It's really a nice scene... which ends with the symbolic passing of the "Man of the House" title from father to son when Wally is asked to carve the turkey.

Back in New York, Donna is snapping some very tasteful photos of Kory as Terry looks on.  Here we learn that Terry has been divorced... and that Donna "madly loves" him.  Wow, that was quick!  Kory tries to hide the fact that she's a superhero, but Donna says that Terry already knows what they are... and by that, I figure she means "teenagers"... creep.  Okay okay, she means he knows they're the Titans.

Kory takes her leave, and comes across a runaway horse pulling a carriage and causing all sorts of havoc in Central Park.  She does a fly-by stun-zap and halts the horsey right before it tramples a child.

We close out our "day off" by revisiting the family from the interlude... guess what?  The puppet kills granddaddy.  Wonder if he works for Dayton, hmmm....

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Man it's like putting on a most comfortable pair of jeans.  This series... especially early on, just feels like home.

Issues like this are some of my favorites.  Love these relatively "quiet" issues following big bombastic adventures... the Titans haven't really had a break yet!  The X-Men are rather famous (at least to me) for having issues like this following their big crossovers... especially during the era in which I came into the fandom (Lobdell/Nicieza).  That's probably why I feel a special affinity for this one.

I suppose I'll get my one negative out of the way... and no, it's not Terry Long... it's Raven's vignette... I dunno, her other-dimensional stuff always puts me to sleep.  I mean, these pages aren't even especially text-heavy, and yet they still feel like something of a chore.  Don't get me wrong... I dig the character, in the context of her being on the team and going out on adventures with the team... her Trigon stuff though... ehhh... it's a bit of a bear.

I liked how little Robin was in this.  Like, if we... the readers... don't need to "follow" one of the Titans, it's Dick.  We know him well enough... though, I will admit that I didn't remember him getting back into the circus game.  Him only getting a passing scene here really allowed for the non-Batman sidekicks to get some screen time here.  Really liked that.

Vic's scene was especially gripping... and sad.  It was crazy seeing how his old girlfriend lashed out at him because she couldn't handle his "new look".  Actually wishing he'd died... that's some cold stuff... and really, in a way quite a human reaction to this.  It's as though she had mentally and emotionally let him go... and now, here he is standing in front of her.  It's pretty heartbreaking, because we know that Vic realizes things can go back to normal (with a cybernetic asterisk)... but she'll never get "there".  We also do get to meet Sarah from the Special School here, which is pretty neat.

Starfire's adapting to her new home world was fun to watch.  It's really interesting to listen in on her thoughts... particularly those regarding secret identities.  I suppose we comics enthusiasts take it for granted that superheroes have (or had, before they went out of fashion) secret identities to protect their loved ones and what-not.  For an outsider... which Kory still very much is... that must seem ridiculous... and clearly, it does.  I still always laugh when I see her in her civvies.  I mean, she's six foot whatever... with golden skin... and gigantic hair down to the floor... no matter how you dress her up, she ain't going unnoticed.

Wally's scene was nice.  I always thought Blue Valley would be a great little town to live in.  I figure if I could live in any DC town, Blue Valley would be in my top three... along with Ivy Town and, of course, Happy Harbor.  We don't really get a good look at Wally's parents too often.  Usually he's just Iris West's nephew.  I really like how supportive his folks are here... actually encouraging him to make his own decision as to whether he should continue hero-ing, go to college... or try and fit in both.  It was touching when his pop deferred to him to carve the turkey as well.

And then there's Long.  Okay, not quite yet... we've still got Donna.  She's having a pretty rotten day dealing with some really unpleasant uppity models.  I like seeing this... realizing that this kinda stuff might be going through her mind while she's throwing kicks at Psimon or something.  What better way to unwind after an especially rough day at work... why, dinner with Terry Long, of course.  He wasn't especially irritating here... and if this issue were in a vacuum, I'd probably have to say I... didn't hate him.  So there's that!  He's got one up on Danny Chase right there!

Overall... great "downtime" issue of New Teen Titans... wonderful writing... amazing art.  Just an all-around must read for fans of the series.

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Letters Page:

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Angel and the Ape #1 (1991)

Angel and the Ape #1 (March, 1991)
"Shaking the Family Tree"
Writer/Penciller - Phil Foglio
Inker - Keith Wilson
Letterer - John Workman
Colorist - Tom Ziuko
Associate Editor - Katie Main
Editor - Mike Gold
Cover Price: $1.00

Hey lookit that another issue of Angel Lo... er, and the Ape... wonk wonk wonkkk.  This one's been on my "to check out" radar for quite awhile, and figure now's as good a time as any.

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We open up some sixteen years ago where a young pigtailed Angel O'Day is running off to get firewood for her father while they're on safari in Africa.  Off she goes, and she finds the perfect log for the fire... only thing is, it's too heavy to carry off.  Lucky for her she gets an assist from a talking gorilla... who lifts the log... revealing a venomous snake... that bites him in the leg!

Angel heads back to camp to fetch her daddy the doc to help her primate pal... and he does.  

Now, we're in the present... Angel O'Day is a comely young lady and the Ape is now Sam Simeon... and they run a detective agency... yeah, why not?  They do a bit of sparring to get the blood pumping... and judging by the way Angel is dressed, I gotta figure ol' Sam's blood's already pumping.

A Mr. Ziebarth enters, getting a pretty good look at Angel's derriere.  He works for the insurance company and he comes bearing good news.  O'Day and Simeon are cleared of all liability in a recent building demolition by way of a testimony procured via quija board, and so he hands them a check.

Later on, Angel asks if Sam wants to go to dinner to celebrate... but realizes that he's got a standing weekly date with her half-sister Athena.  We also learn here that Sam works for DZ Comics.  Their chat is interrupted by an interjecting Athena... who, not knowing her own strength knocks through the door.

Athena asks if Sam minds if she did dinner with Angel tonight... she's got some important things to talk about with her.  Sam's cool with it, and decides he'll go deposit their big check while the sisters hash it out.  Here we learn that Athena is actually Dumb Bunny from the Inferior 5!

We join the sisters as they dine... and it doesn't take long for the conversation to take a disturbing and uncomfortable turn... ya see, Athena's thinking about asking Sam... ya know, the Ape... to be her boyfriend.  Angel takes the news about as well as could be expected... hearing that her sister wants to, er, be with a primate...

Athena asks Angel if she can think of a single reason (unrelated to his ape-ness, I guess) that she shouldn't pursue this relationship... and she can't come up with a single one.  Sam's a "hell of a guy", after all.  We get some clarification that Dumb Bunny doesn't want Sam for sex... which is both a relief and somewhat depressing.  She's extremely lonely, and appears to just want some companionship... okey doke.  Angel says she needs some time to process all of this before giving it her blessing... and leaves the restaurant.

Meanwhile, Sam's bank-bound... and upon arrival there's a bit of a role-reversal... for a moment, he turns human while all the humans turn into apes!

He freaks out, everything changes back to "normal" and he heads back to the office to share his story with Angel... who ain't buyin' it.  He figures the best way to prove it is to somehow procure the security footage from the bank.  So, he disguises himself as a really hairy security camera repairman... and swipes the footage.

He returns to the office, and Angel sees that he was telling the truth.

As they try to figure out what to make of all this, they are interrupted by three Lobot looking fellas who demand Sam come with them.  A fight erupts, and Angel is shocked to see that her martial art skills are useless against these baldies.  Luckily Dumb Bunny shows up and cleans house.

A dude enters and tells the P.I.s that the bank wants to hire them to find out who swapped security tapes.  Sam takes this as his cue to leave.  Angel and Athena are confused... then turn back at the Lobot looking fools to see that they were, in reality... apes!

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Ehhh.... well... hrrm, this sure was a comic book.

Not the best thing I've read of late... I wanna say not the worst, but that would only be because I recently read that Charlton-flavored L.A.W. miniseries.  I really didn't dig this... from words to pictures, just really not my scene.

This is probably the Phil Foglio-est art I've seen to date... and while it was off-putting and hampered my enjoyment of Stanley and his Monster... here, it's almost aggressively so.  Just like with Stanley, I wonder just why this story needed to be told.  That, at least started out decent... this is just, ehh...

I am a fan of world/universe-building, so the revelation that Angel O'Day is the half-sister of Dumb Bunny of the Inferior 5 was really cool to me.  I guess that plants this smack-dab into DC continuity proper... for better and/or worse.  I really don't like that Dumb Bunny wants to get romantically involved with an Ape... 

Overall... not a fan.  It's silly, but not in the kind of way I dig... Neither character comes across as especially likable, and I'm not feeling the urge to root for anyone.  If you're looking for a humor book, and find this in the cheap-o's... ehh, I will say, that there're far better "funny" funnybooks out there that are more worth your time.

But... that's just me.

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