Batman and the Outsiders #14 (1984)

Batman and the Outsiders #14 (October, 1984)
"Two by Two..."
Writer/Editor - Mike W. Barr
Guest Penciller - Bill Willingham
Guest Inker - Bill Anderson
Letters - Ben Oda
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Created by Mike W. Barr & Jim Aparo
Cover Price: $0.75

Okay, I might be late for the 'lympics... but better late than never to check out an early issue of Batman and the Outsiders!

--

We open with Halo wrapping up a date with a fella called Phil.  His daddy's a restaurateur and our Gaby is mighty impressed.  As he escorts her home we see that they're being watched... but, by who?  Well, somebody who likes to kick over garbage cans to interrupt some hot and heavy mouth on mouth action... that's who!  Phil plays hero by shoving Gaby into her building... with his hand strategically placed, might I add... and goes off in search of the menace.  Gaby "Halos up" and sees a pile of clothes surrounded by burn marks on the asphalt and has a sneaking suspicion who the culprit might be.

Hey, watch the hands Phil!

She flies home and meets with her teammate Geo-Force... and knows it was him doin' the creeping.  She snags him and heads home where they run into Katana.  It all comes out that Brion was being the biggest creep this side of Terry Long, and Halo and Katana both tell him to knock it off.  He claims he was only trying to protect Gaby, but nobody's buying it.

We shift scenes to Arkham Asylum where we see Maxie Zeus writing a letter.  His correspondence is interrupted by the delivery of the daily newspaper... wow, whodathunk inmates in an asylum kept up with current events?  He's taken aback by what's on the page... so after kayoing a janitor and stealing his duds, he busts out.

We shift scenes again, this time to Gotham University College, where we join Brion Markov and a pair of gal pals getting their papers back from the prof.  One of the girls is a bit geeky and scores well... the other has pink-dyed hair and doesn't do so hot.  Brion's work "doesn't reflect his potential".  They try to set up a study date, but the smart girl declines, knowing that there likely won't be a whole lotta studying going on.

Guess what?  We shift scenes again... to Tatsu's shop Dragon Books.  Halo enters and tries setting her friend up with her creepy geometry teacher.  Yeesh, good thing Katana can take care of herself.  Later on Katana jokingly tells Halo never to do that again... 

Back at Arkham, Batman is on the scene.  While checking out Zeus' room and berating Mr. Blaine for the not-so-secure digs, he comes across the newspaper that caused him to snap.  He deduces that he escaped to abduct an Olympic athlete named Lacinia Nitocris... because, ya see Lacinia is another name for Juno... who is the wife of the Greek God Jupiter... who's the equivalent of Zeus!  Good eye, Bats!

Speaking of Zeus... we get a very brief interlude of him checking in with a fella floating in space in an orb-shaped ship.  This is one of those wacky pre-Crisis appearances of... the Monitor!  Man, I love these!

Later that night, we see Brion and Alisa the pink haired chick... studying... each other's mouths.  Gaby decides it's the perfect opportunity to get back at her teammate, so she pops her head in pretends she and Brion are an item and asks who the "cleaning woman" is.  Well, pink-haired Alisa don't dig that... so she drives off in a huff.

Now it's on... Gaby Halo's up, and Brion Geo-Force's up... and we have ourselves a good old fashioned chase scene... ending pretty much exactly the way we all expect it to... with the two of them making out.

Now with that romance out of the way... let's check in on another.  Metamorpho is trying to get a hold of his would-be girlfriend Sapphire Stagg... and he can't get past her daddy.  What's great about this scene is Rex is laying in bed like he should be on the cover of a teen novel or a "Mystery Date" board game.

Yeah, but do you like him like him?

We now shift to the opening ceremony of the 1984 Summer Olympics, featuring then-President of the United States, Ronald Reagan!  We go to the MBC booth (really, we can use Olympics... but not NBC?) where Jefferson Pierce and Brion Markov are being interviewed by TV douche Chet Wilcox.  In a private office we see a very messy-haired Batman radioing his team members to see if there's any sign of Zeus.  Metamorpho's selling Eskimo Pies, and the girls are in the stands.

We follow the opening ceremonies and watch the (attempted) lighting of the Olympic torch... ya see an MBC news chopper has been hijacked... and our torch-bearer gets shot at with an arrow.

Turns out Maxie Zeus... and a bunch of geeks (somehow) all jammed into that helicopter... and now they're here to procure Zeus a wife... in the form of Lacinia whatsherface, who just so happens to be right by President Reagan.

Before Maxie can make off, he is interrupted by Batman... and the Outsiders.  Batman challenges him to a winner takes all fight... and says if his team wins, Maxie leaves everyone there "unmolested".  Hmm... needless to say, we are [to be continued...]

--

Ya know, I always forget how much I dig these issues of Batman and the Outsiders.  They just never pop into my mind when I'm looking for something to read... which really is a shame.  I always find myself digging these issues.

I really like almost family-like atmosphere this book has... and here was another great example of that.  We've got the Halo and Geo-Force relationship starting to heat up... well, going from bitter cold to hot in just a handful of pages, really.  Halo and Katana's relationship is also a lot of fun here.

Metamorpho's still dealing with his own relationship woes... though I gotta admit, the image of him laying in his bed on the phone like a stereotypical teenage girl made me chuckle a bit more than I should have.

I like how Batman is more of a means to an end in this issue.  He's there to put the pieces in place, however, doesn't come off as "taking over" the story.  This is truly the Outsiders' story, with Batman just there to call plays.

Maxie Zeus is... well, he's a villain.  Not really one I have a strong feeling for either way.  Seeing him with a crew of goons does very little to excite me.  I suppose if you're going to do an Olympic tie-in issue, he's as good a baddie as any... and while on the subject... how weird is this that it's actually got the Olympic Rings on the cover?  Gotta wonder if this was a sanctioned usage of the image... as, if I'm not mistaken the Summer-games-gang is pretty aggressive in enforcing their copyright... or is it trademark?  Either way, I thought using the rings is generally a no-no.

It was neat getting a (very) brief cameo of the Monitor here.  It always tickles my continuity bone when I see a pre-Crisis appearance from this guy.  It just makes whatever happening seem so much more important.

Overall, definitely worth checking out.  Whether in singles, or the SHOWCASE Presents "phone book" edition.  There's a lot of fun in these early issues of Batman and the Outsiders.  Hell, this one's also available digitally... so, I guess disregard everything I said about not using dem 'lympic rings... mustn't be that big a deal after all!  Either way, check out this series if you get the chance.

--

Letters Page:

 

--

Interesting Olympian Ads:

Action Comics #484 (1978)

Action Comics #484 (June, 1978)

"Superman Takes a Wife!"

Writer - Cary Bates

Penciller - Curt Swan

Inker - Joe Giella

Letterer - Ben Oda

Colorist - Tatjana Wood

Editor - Julius Schwartz

Cover Price: $0.35

Let's take a trip... to Earth-Two!

--

We open with a one-page retelling of Superman's origin and "mission statement".  Man, that would take six-issues these days!  We then shift to the Galaxy Buil... OOPS!  I mean the offices of the Daily Star... Welcome to Earth-Two, friends!

We join Superman taking out some robotic drones called the Mechanical Marauders, while pedestrians look on in awe.  The entire affair is cake for the Man of Steel... much to the chagrin of Colonel Future!  Who?  Just some old gaudily-dressed geek who wants to wipe out the Man of Tomorrow.

We shift ahead twenty-one minutes to join Clark Kent emerging from a certain storeroom at the Daily Star.  He runs into Jimmy Olsen and they engage in conversation as they walk away.  We then see Lois Lane enter the storeroom to fetch the infrared camera she planted in there to see just why Clark is so "fond" of this particular room.

We follow Lois to a dark room where a photo-fella tries to develop the film... unfortunately (for her) the footage is a total washout... it seems as though the film had been exposed to x-rays.  Hmm...  here we learn that Lois has a sneaking suspicion that her coworker may in fact be Superman.

We jump ahead three days and rejoin Colonel Future.  In his attempts to erase Superman he has recruited a down on his luck super villain by the inspired name of The Wizard.  He demonstrates his powers by flipping the entire world upside down for a time.  Colonel Future is impressed, and offers to give him the Glastonbury Wand in exchange for ixnayin' Superman.

The next day the news is out that Superman has "declared war" on the C-F Gang... "gang" really?  It's three guys... c'mon.  Anhyhoo, the "gangsters" fire a blast at a Armored Car for a heist right as Lois and Clark are crossing the street.  Clark gives Lois a bit of a shove to ensure her safety... which only emboldens her belief that he's got an "S" behind his necktie.

Clark rushes off to change, and easy wipes out two-thirds of the C-F Gang.  Unfortunately during the fracas, the Wizard is enacting an incantation to erase Superman by drawing the S-shield in the ground in the nearby countryside.  Superman vanishes from the Metropolis streets and reappears in the middle of the symbol... and begins to sink.

Some time passes... and a body begins to rise from the ground... it's not the body of Superman... but of Clark Kent.

Days go by and the Daily Star finds itself the home of quite a courageous Clark Kent... quite different from the weak-spined version they've known so long.  He is outgoing and brave and still hot on the trail of the C-F Gang... but of special note, he is wondering why Superman has suddenly disappeared.

Over the weeks and months (!) that follow, Clark and Lois' relationship grows closer... to the point where Clark takes her for a ride in the country... and proposes marriage!  In a single page we go from proposal... to engagement... to wedding... to the start of the honeymoon.  They did not mess around on Earth-Two!

On their honeymoon, Colonel Future's goons are tailing "nosy newshound" Clark Kent.  They fire a blast at him... and he doesn't even realize it.  Lois looks on, shocked.  This really fuels her suspicions that her new husband may be not quite human.  That night she hatches a plan to test her gut feeling.

The honeymoon ends, and the Kents return to Metropolis... all the while Lois is unsure how to proceed.  She isn't sure if Clark has chosen to stop Supermanning... or if he'd somehow forgotten.  She does a bit of... nebulous research... checking up on some leads within the super villain set.  By this point Superman has been missing for an entire year.  In that time many villains "took credit" for disappearing him.  Including one... even more down on his luck Wizard.

Lois meets with the shlub who's apparently homeless and sleeping on a park bench... but get this, he's still got that hoobeedoobie wand.  She appeals to his ego and convinces him to "reappear" Superman to show the world how powerful he really is.  That night Lois shares what she believes will be her last night as Mrs. Clark Kent.

The next morning, Lois holds a press conference promising the return of Superman.  She brings our phony Abra Kadabra on stage and... well, zaps Superman back!  In an awesome panel, Superman lands and just backhands the dope.  Colonel Future is watching the event on television and is given medicine by an assistant.  I have to assume in the year since Superman's been gone he's taken up residence in a retirement home.

Later that day, Superman returns home to find Lois packing her bags.  He is surprised and upset... as he remembers that they had been married.  Lois feels their marriage wasn't "real", and so Superman... proposes.  It's funny, all three members of the classic Superman "love triangle" have been part of this marriage.  How fitting is that?

Lois accepts the proposal, and this time they get married Kryptonian style... thankfully minus the Matricom.

--

Decent enough... if not underwhelming issue of Action Comics.  You'd figure the wedding of Lois and Clark... even on Earth-Two would have... I dunno... been a bigger deal than one page featuring the proposal... and the wedding!  Maybe I'm just more accustomed to the more decompressed storytelling of the past several years... but, c'mon... not even a scene where they announce their engagement at the Daily Planet Star?  Oh well.

The villains here, and to anyone who has read this blog for awhile, I'm gonna sound like a broken record... they are just so boring.  I've said it before, it's mostly the DC villains that kept me a Marvel guy for so long.  Outside of a few rogues galleries... it's just dudes.  Here we have Colonel Future and the Wizard.  For a second, I thought it was Abra Kadabra, and thought that was kinda cool... but, no... just the Wizard.

The seventies-era and Earth-Two Supermen are something of a mystery to me... so, I really can't speak to Lois' suspicions about her coworker's dual life.  Did she think Clark was really Superman?  Or was that just a device for this issue?  Not sure... but, I'm hoping this was an ongoing thing by this point.  Seemed DC was able to "play" a bit more in Earth-Two, and I really don't have any problems with Lois snooping and eventually finding out... it only makes sense for an investigative reporter to, ya know... investigate.

Overall, I suppose this was a fun issue.  Wish it felt more important... but, I gotta remember that I'm peering into the past here.  When my Superman got married... shoot, the engagement lasted several years... was interrupted by the Death and Return... and culminated in an over-sized Wedding Special.  Back in the late-seventies there really wasn't a direct market to support that kind of storytelling.  For what it is... it's a fine issue that I'd recommend any Superman fans check out.

--

(Probably in the place of the...) Letters Page:

--

Interesting Ads:

New Teen Titans #8 (1981)

New Teen Titans #8 (June, 1991)

"A Day in the Lives..."

Writer/Co-Creator - Marv Wolfman

Artist/Co-Creator - George Perez

Embellisher - Romeo Tanghal

Letterer - Ben Oda

Colorist - Adrienne Roy

Editor - Len Wein

Cover Price: $0.50

Today I'm gonna give the devil his due... we're going to discuss the first appearance of the Red Menace himself, Terry Long... in all his hairy-chested creepin' glory.  Hey, he even makes the cover!

--

We open up on Starfire soaking in some of the "delicious" terrestrial weather while on her way to meet with teammate Donna Troy for brunch.  As she descends, she runs through in her mind how puzzling it is for her to not call Donna "Wonder Girl" when around people... and not to call her "Donna" when they're "on the job".  I never really consider how weird concepts like secret identities would be to... well, anybody who doesn't read comics.

We shift to Ms. Troy while she's working her day job as a photographer.  Today she's shooting what appears to be a topless jeans ad, featuring a trio of uncooperative models... particularly the one named Candy.  As Donna sends an assistant for a handful of aspirin, a Mr. DeLevi (likely Mr. Levi's Italian cousin) enters and reads Donna the riot act for making'a his'a Candy look'a like a spagett' in the photos.  Donna's about had enough for this day, and is about to tell this goofball off when... Starfire makes an appearance.  Suddenly, Mr. DeLevi thinks maybe'a his'a Candy is skinny like'a spagett... he now wants Ms. Anders as his Golden Jeans'a Girl!

Before we can get a solid commitment from Kory, she and Donna head out to their early lunch... this is where it happens, folks.  The first appearance of Terrence Long.  He's got quite a bit of "New York" hanging out in these panels.  I suppose I should qualify that... he's got a whole bunch of chest hair peeking out of his shirt.  Several years ago, I was working on a government contract as a quality assurance and logistics manager.  A really good friend of mine worked with me, and one day... I suppose I missed a button on my shirt.  Out of nowhere... from across an entire warehouse I hear his voice boom out "Ey Boss... ya New York's hangin' out!"  My first thought was to check my fly... but alas, he meant I was showin' off some chest hair.  Anyhoo... where was I?  Oh yeah, Terry's got his New York hangin' out.

We pop back in on Titan's Tower, and find Robin sayin' see ya to Raven.  We learn... or at least I learn that Robin is back in the circus game... which I must have forgotten ever happening.  

Raven retires to her room and does her meditation/soulself thing to check out Manhattan University.  At this point Kid Flash had been encouraging her to attend college.  Raven's soulself flies off and finds that the school is currently under terror... er, revolutionary attack.  They've placed bombs... for some reason.  A funny aside, they're shocked that the students haven't sided with them... because that's what kids are supposed to do, right?

Raven's soulself takes care of the bombs, and heads back to rejoin her physical body... however, it takes her just one second too long to make the return flight... and so, her soulself is... shunted into another dimension?

We get a one-page interlude featuring a grandfather and grandson entering a toy story where they'd received a message about receiving a free puppet.  The creepy toyseller hands over an equally creepy puppet.. while an even more creepy... Charlie McCarthy lookin' puppet looks on.  Man, Terry Long isn't the creepiest thing about this issue... Good on you, T.Long.

We shift scenes to Vic Stone's cruddy apartment where he and Gar are hanging out.  We learn that due to Victor's father's patents he's come into a fair amount of money.  Gar gets a phone call from Questor, who delivers some bad news... turns out that board members of (Steve) Dayton Industries are droppin' like flies, and young Master Logan is needed.  So he leaves... and stops a pair of street toughs from stealing his ride... by charging at them rhino-style.

We stick with Vic as he goes to visit his old girlfriend Marcy.  This is quite the unpleasant scene.  She hasn't seen him since he got all shiny and metally... and doesn't really react the way Vic would have hoped... she can't bear to look him in the face, and even goes as far as to ask why he didn't just die.

Vic knows when he's not wanted... and he leaves.  As he wanders through the park, lost in thought... he is beaned in the head by a baseball.  This is where we meet Sarah from the Special School, and the kids from the Special School.  Before Vic can make time with the cute blonde, he's swept into a game of baseball with the tots.

Now... we rejoin Raven... as she floats in the nothingness, and I kinda lose interest.  This goes on for a couple of pages... and will go on for a couple more later on... she's ultimately able to escape, and resist her hereditary evil.

We shift scenes to the West home in Blue Valley where Wally is considering hanging up the tights to become a full-time college student.  His parents... are really cool... they leave the decision up to him.  They talk about how proud of him they are regardless of the choice he makes.  It's really a nice scene... which ends with the symbolic passing of the "Man of the House" title from father to son when Wally is asked to carve the turkey.

Back in New York, Donna is snapping some very tasteful photos of Kory as Terry looks on.  Here we learn that Terry has been divorced... and that Donna "madly loves" him.  Wow, that was quick!  Kory tries to hide the fact that she's a superhero, but Donna says that Terry already knows what they are... and by that, I figure she means "teenagers"... creep.  Okay okay, she means he knows they're the Titans.

Kory takes her leave, and comes across a runaway horse pulling a carriage and causing all sorts of havoc in Central Park.  She does a fly-by stun-zap and halts the horsey right before it tramples a child.

We close out our "day off" by revisiting the family from the interlude... guess what?  The puppet kills granddaddy.  Wonder if he works for Dayton, hmmm....

--

Man it's like putting on a most comfortable pair of jeans.  This series... especially early on, just feels like home.

Issues like this are some of my favorites.  Love these relatively "quiet" issues following big bombastic adventures... the Titans haven't really had a break yet!  The X-Men are rather famous (at least to me) for having issues like this following their big crossovers... especially during the era in which I came into the fandom (Lobdell/Nicieza).  That's probably why I feel a special affinity for this one.

I suppose I'll get my one negative out of the way... and no, it's not Terry Long... it's Raven's vignette... I dunno, her other-dimensional stuff always puts me to sleep.  I mean, these pages aren't even especially text-heavy, and yet they still feel like something of a chore.  Don't get me wrong... I dig the character, in the context of her being on the team and going out on adventures with the team... her Trigon stuff though... ehhh... it's a bit of a bear.

I liked how little Robin was in this.  Like, if we... the readers... don't need to "follow" one of the Titans, it's Dick.  We know him well enough... though, I will admit that I didn't remember him getting back into the circus game.  Him only getting a passing scene here really allowed for the non-Batman sidekicks to get some screen time here.  Really liked that.

Vic's scene was especially gripping... and sad.  It was crazy seeing how his old girlfriend lashed out at him because she couldn't handle his "new look".  Actually wishing he'd died... that's some cold stuff... and really, in a way quite a human reaction to this.  It's as though she had mentally and emotionally let him go... and now, here he is standing in front of her.  It's pretty heartbreaking, because we know that Vic realizes things can go back to normal (with a cybernetic asterisk)... but she'll never get "there".  We also do get to meet Sarah from the Special School here, which is pretty neat.

Starfire's adapting to her new home world was fun to watch.  It's really interesting to listen in on her thoughts... particularly those regarding secret identities.  I suppose we comics enthusiasts take it for granted that superheroes have (or had, before they went out of fashion) secret identities to protect their loved ones and what-not.  For an outsider... which Kory still very much is... that must seem ridiculous... and clearly, it does.  I still always laugh when I see her in her civvies.  I mean, she's six foot whatever... with golden skin... and gigantic hair down to the floor... no matter how you dress her up, she ain't going unnoticed.

Wally's scene was nice.  I always thought Blue Valley would be a great little town to live in.  I figure if I could live in any DC town, Blue Valley would be in my top three... along with Ivy Town and, of course, Happy Harbor.  We don't really get a good look at Wally's parents too often.  Usually he's just Iris West's nephew.  I really like how supportive his folks are here... actually encouraging him to make his own decision as to whether he should continue hero-ing, go to college... or try and fit in both.  It was touching when his pop deferred to him to carve the turkey as well.

And then there's Long.  Okay, not quite yet... we've still got Donna.  She's having a pretty rotten day dealing with some really unpleasant uppity models.  I like seeing this... realizing that this kinda stuff might be going through her mind while she's throwing kicks at Psimon or something.  What better way to unwind after an especially rough day at work... why, dinner with Terry Long, of course.  He wasn't especially irritating here... and if this issue were in a vacuum, I'd probably have to say I... didn't hate him.  So there's that!  He's got one up on Danny Chase right there!

Overall... great "downtime" issue of New Teen Titans... wonderful writing... amazing art.  Just an all-around must read for fans of the series.

--

Letters Page:

--

Interesting Ads: