Action Comics #597 (1988)

Action Comics #597 (February, 1988)
"Visitor"
Writer/Penciller - John Byrne
Inkers - Leonard Starr & Keith Williams
Letterer - John Costanza
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $0.75

Superman, Meet (your brother) Clark Kent?  Wait, what?  Let's get to the bottom of this!

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We open with Lois passing the Welcome to Smallville sign in her rental car.  As she drives, she reflects on recent events and thinks to herself that she's entering her colleague, Clark Kent's hometown.  She tosses out a few Kentsian factoids, including how she knows he doesn't have any brothers or sisters... hold that thought, Ms. Lane.  She arrives at the Smallville Motel and checks in... and asks the bellhop for information on recent "Millennial" Lana Lang.

She is told that there's a flying saucer on her property... like, a real one.  Which, in the DC Universe isn't quite as senses-shattering as you'd figure.  Lois scopes out the site, and questions why this hasn't yet made national/global news.

She decides to dig a bit deeper by going to Lana's house... Lois, being who she is makes some snotty comments about the condition of the home, and then sneaks around back to find...

OH!

Superman's got some 'splainin' to do... he reveals that he'd known Lana for "quite some time"... the women give each other the once over, with Lois questioning whether or not Superman loves Lana... while Lana laments that Superman is in love with Lois.  It's really a powerful panel... and shows the striking difference between the disparate LL's.

The threesome heads inside and has some coffee (and cookies).  We actually see Superman eating a cookie, which is pretty cute.  Lois is kind of talking with them... and kind of just thinking out loud.  She appears to be getting dangerously close to the secret.  She mentions that she came up with his name, and that's just what he'd become.  Superman, rather than changing the subject, kind of eggs her on... and keeps the mental-wheels turning, until she finally just comes out with it...

Luckily (?) for Superman, Ma and Pa Kent are standing in the doorway.  They were there to deliver a pie to Lana after her Millennial event.  Now... get this, Pa Kent tells Lois that... they were the ones that found the rocket that delivered Superman to Earth.  Wait, what?  He continues, claiming that he and Martha raised Clark and Kal as though they were brothers.  Oh, gag me!

Lois' reaction is... not what Superman expects... I mean, look at that smirk on his mug!

Lois' mind immediately goes to the "story of the century" that Clark Kent scooped her on... the exclusive Superman story!  Her Superman story!  She now realizes that Superman and Clark were in cahoots the whole time.  Clark's integrity as a reporter immediately falls under suspicion here.  She grabs her bag and (rightly?) storms out.

Later that night at the motel Lois is writing a story of her own... with the subject of betrayal.  Speak of the devil, a very block-headed Clark Kent knocks of her door.  The pair argue for awhile, and we are treated to a bit of a Lane-family flashback, wherein it is made clear that Sam Lane wanted a son rather than a Lois.  Clark almost gathers the guts to tell Lois how he really feels about her, but leaves it at one of those cop-out "more than you'll ever know" type'a things.  Lois eventually tells Clark to beat it, but not before telling him that she will never be able to look at him or Superman the same again.

The next morning Lois checks out... outside the motel, she finds Lana Lang waiting for her.  The two go out to breakfast.  At the diner, Lois is approached by a fan of her novel Shadows on the Grass... Lois asks if the fan wants her to sign it, but alas it's a library book.  The fan offers to go buy a copy to get an autograph, and Lois just dismisses her.  That's not cool, Lo.

The LL's conversation finally comes around to Clark... and Lana tells Lois that Clark is in love with her.  Lois writes it off as him being "interested" in her.  We then move into some Millennium talk which makes me glaze over at the first sight of the word "Manhunter".

Twelve-hours later, Lois arrives home in Metropolis.  Once inside her apartment she checks her phone messages... and finds one from Jose "Gangbuster" Delgado.  She decides to pay him a visit... at the hospital where he is convalescing after having his body destroyed by the Combattor.

Jose makes a few off-color jokes about thinking up creative ways to take his own life when Superman enters the room.  He tells Jose that he's a lucky man for having survived the battle.  Moments pass, and Lois and Superman decide to leave.  Superman offers Lois a ride... which she declines, stating from now on, she'd much rather walk. 

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Hmm... where to start with this one?

On one hand, I can't help but to enjoy a post-Crisis downtime Smallville issue.  Having Lois as our point of view character was certainly fun as well.  Seeing her in "the sticks" after only having seen her in Metropolis was neat and novel.  Having her interact with the Kents and even Lana was cool as well.

Now... let's go a bit deeper.  This issue lands in the fallout from... Millennium. I haven't read that event-series in probably ten years, but I remember thinking it was pretty ill-advised... but, hell... whattayagonnado?  Anyhoo, during the event it was revealed that Lana Lang was... and I'm admittedly a bit muddy here, delivered by a Doctor (along with most of the town) who implanted her with a "sleeper personality"... and would be under the control of the Manhunters.  It's confusing, weird, and was pretty quickly forgotten, at least in as far as I can recall.

Speaking of things that were quickly forgotten... Superman and Clark Kent were sorta-kinda step-brothers.  Wha--?  I mean really now, I thought this was stupid the first time I read it... to the point that I was expecting this issue to be revealed as a dream... and I still think it's stupid now.  The elder Kents were just so quick to spill the phony beans... when a simple "No, Lois... Clark isn't Superman." probably would have sufficed.  I get the feeling that Byrne wanted to write about Lois distrusting Clark, and this may have just been a means to an end.

... and Lois is pretty distrusting at the end of this... to the point where she second guesses so many of Clark's scoops, as well as the intentions of the Smallville cast.  She even turns a cold shoulder to Superman to close out the issue.  I kind of dig the tension when Lois and Clark were kind of cold toward each other... especially with the revelation that Clark is, in fact, in love with Lois.  I just really wish there was a way to put the players in place without the dopey "We raised Superman and Clark together" spiel.

The art in this issue is kinda spotty.  Some pages look like classic Byrne, while others are... off.  Characters go from having normal faces to like block heads.  I notice there were a couple of inkers on this issue, and I suppose it would be easy to attribute the inconsistency on that.  Either way, it wasn't the best.

Overall, an issue worthy of giving a read.  

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Kyle XY: Breakthrough (2007)

Kyle XY: Breakthrough (2007)
"Breakthrough"
Writer - Jeff Parker
Penciller - Steve Scott
Inker - Nathan Massengill
Colorist - Jason Wright
Letterer - Phil Balsman
Assistant Editor - Jessica Numsuwankijkul
Editor - Michael Wright

Here's a weird one.  I never heard of this one, but having been a fan of the Kyle XY television show (I used to say it phonetically... Killexy), when this bugger surfaced in the quarter-bin at Half-Price Books it jumped right out at me.  Asamattafact, the wife and I re-watched it via... er, Netflix or Hulu a couple of years back, can't remember which.  

We had kind of fallen off during our initial watch through in the mid-2000's, and were excited to find out how it all turned out... only to find out that... it ends on a cliffhanger!  Lame-o... That's neither here nor there, because this issue falls in between the first and second seasons of the show.  During that first season we meet Kyle who is thought to be a teenage runaway... without a bellybutton.  He is unbelievably intelligent and capable of superhuman feats and has a photographic memory.  He is taken in by the family of his social worker, and quickly meld into a family.  It gets complicated from here, so I'll just leave it at that.

And although we don't have the DC "bullet" (or "swoosh" by this point) on the cover, I assure you this issue fall in the humble blog's "Random DC Comics Discussion and Reviews" mandate... here's the indicia for the proof.

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We open with a shadowy pair from the Zzyzx organization watching monitors featuring Kyle and his sorta-kinda bodyguard, Tom Foss.  This occurs between the first and second seasons of the show... placing us right around the time Kyle left his foster-family in Seattle and returned to his "real parents"... only, they weren't his real parents... they worked for a fella named Adam Baylin... who, and I'm kinda blanking on the details here... I think Kyle was maybe Adam's clone... which explains why he's belly-buttonless...  Either way, it's something along those lines.  Anyhoo... Kyle is now living with the dude he was a copy of, and they are being protected by Tom Foss, and are being tracked and attacked by Zzyzx.  We end this scene with the bigwig baddie claiming that Kyle isn't all that unique while pointing to a pod... which we will learn contains Jessie, who is another clone... just not of Baylin.  It's weird... but that's more for Season Two than for today.

We shift scenes to Kyle video-chatting with his former foster brother and sister Lori and Josh.  Lori's on-again-off-again dude Declan is skulking around the background... it got to the point on the show where we were beginning to think Declan was going to profess his love for Kyle.

The chat is short and sweet, as Foss tells Kyle to disconnect.  Kyle's old family still thinks he's living with his "birth parents"... who, I wanna say are dead... but maybe not.  Can't remember.  Foss tells Kyle he can't be online too long, or the baddies will track them down.  He then informs him that Adam Baylin is waiting for him by the water.

Kyle jumps from a cliff to the beach below... yeah, he's got powers... Baylin warns him not to overexert himself... and then proceeds to use his odd pyrokinetic powers to set some kindling aflame.  We get a bit of a chat about Kyle's powers being the result of a sixteen-year gestation period.  They posited on the show that Albert Einstein was in the womb for like 11-months or something, which was why he was so intelligent.  Dunno about all that.

Adam and Kyle head back toward the house, and we see they are in a sniper's cross-hair.  As they enter the woods, they come across a hungry and angry cougar... the animal... Kyle detects only rage... or fear coming from it.  As this goes on, the sniper is readying his shot and focusing on Kyle's dome... only, Tom Foss has been watching the whole time, and takes out the goon with a shot of his own.

Kyle notices a scar on the cougar where it had been shot.  He approaches the beast and begins projecting in its direction.  He thinks of his... sorta-kinda girlfriend Amanda kindly playing with a cat.  Amanda and Kyle's relationship was weird... I won't go into it here, but... yeah... weird, and kind of uncomfortable.

We wrap up with Kyle and Adam chatting on the deck of the Baylin Chateau... or is that Chateau Baylin?  Either way, they're home.  Tom Foss tells them to quit their blibbity blab and come inside.  Before they do Kyle does a bit of expositional narration, just like he did on the show.  His last thought of the evening is of his friends and family back in Seattle.

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Nothing at all wrong with this.  You probably gotta be a fan of the show... or at least have some knowledge of it to get anything out of this... but, as someone who has watched the show, I gotta say that I thought it was okay.

What really surprised me was how well Jeff Parker was able to capture Kyle's voice here.  From his speech to his narration, I can totally hear those words in Matt Dallas' voice.  The art was decent... perhaps a tad loose here and there... but the character models were pretty much on point.  There's no mistaking who's who... which, when we're talking about these weird giveaway issues, isn't always true.  The ink and coloring kind of smacks of that late-90's "let's try this on glossy paper" thing... where it's a bit muddy.

Overall... this is just a nice little one-off, and a way to keep fans of the show engaged between seasons.  If you're a Kyle XY fan... eh, you could probably take or leave this... if you came here today and asked "what the hell is a killexy?", I think you can safely skip this one.  Hell, you might even be able to skip this review... as I'm sure it makes absolutely no sense to you... but if you've made it this far, it's too late for that... I apologize.

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Superman #327 (1978)

Superman #327 (September, 1978)

"The Sandstorm that Swallowed Metropolis!"

"Two Can Die as Cheaply as One"

Writers - Martin Pasko & Cary Bates

Pencillers - Curt Swan & Kurt Schaffenberger

Inkers - Frank Chiaramonte & Joe Giella

Colorists - Adrienne Roy & Gene D'Angelo

Letterers - Ben Oda & Jean Simek

Editor - Julius Schwartz

Cover Price: $0.50

Hey now, what's this?  Just one of them really fortuitous cheap-o bin finds... I've got a OneNote document on my phone where I keep my list of which books I'm needing to pick up (as you may imagine, I need juuuuust about every issue of pre-1980 Superman and Action Comics), and the other day I came across this one.

I snagged it seeing I needed the issue, and when I got it home I was surprised to see the familiar image on the bottom right corner... this issue is something of a sequel (or next chapter) to Superman Takes a Wife, which we discussed earlier this month.  Like I said, fortuitous.  We get a couple of stories here, one from each main DC Earth... so let's get right down "two" it.

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We open with a splash page where Kobra... the deadliest man alive has unleashed a sandstorm on Metropolis that Superman is trying to stop... in the foreground are Ma and Pa Kent... but, isn't this pre-Crisis?  Aren't they... ya know, dead?  Well before we address that, lets go back in time a bit... Clark Kent enters his apartment at 344 Clinton Street.  Inside, he finds Kobra... the deadliest lisping man alive with some of his flunkies.  Apparently, in the previous issue, Ssuperman had taken his teleportation machine... which looks like a silly golden gun.  Anyhoo, the machine was a beacon to Kobra... and now he (like most of the other pre-Crisis DC Universe) knows that Ssuperman is, in reality, Clark Kent.

Kobra graciously decides to share his origin with Superman... and us, which is helpful, because I believe this is my first run in with him.  He found an amazing arsenal of weapons and gear via archaeological digs at the ruins of lost civilizations... among those ruins was the teleporter thingie.  Well, a UFO shows up and tractor-beams the teleporter away... which then somehow, in a roundabout way, wound up in Superman's hands.

Kobra proves for all his power and dangerousness... he's not the sharpest bulb in the shed.  He starts blasting Superman with his ray... then tries to ensnare him in some odd serpentine that appears to come from the palm of his hand... but in reality, it's just from the glove that he's wearing.

Kobra drops a smoke bomb and flings himself out the window.  One of Clark's neighbors, Sam... who is kind of a jerk, was alerted by the racket, and bursts into Apartment 3-D... where he finds Clark (who had to change clothes in the record 1/10 of a second), who tells him that a burglar was there.  Sam is really dismissive of Clark, even going as far as calling him a cream puff.  What an ass.

Superman reflects on a conversation he had with fellow Justice Leaguers Batman, Aquaman and Green Lantern about Kobra.  The all speak of how dangerous he is... even Batman is like... dude, you don't wanna mess with this guy!

The next day, we join Clark, Lois and Lana at the Galaxy Building.  I've said it before, but the pre-Crisis Universe is still something of a novelty to me... but here, Lana won't stop referring to people as "luv".  Is Lana like that friend of yours from High School who spends a semester studying in England, who comes home affecting an accent?  Was Lana overseas?  Or is this just a personality tick that falls flat?  Anyhoo... they are putting together a Superman documentary for the network, and are looking at photos of some of his heroic feats.  One in particular has him destroying a cargo plane that was full of explosives before it could crash into Metropolis... ya gotta wonder who was in position for such a photo-op...

At this very moment, Lois decides the room is becoming stuffy and opens the window... which, somehow, Clark realizes is a bad idea.  It's too late however, as a torrent of sand rushes into the ajar window.

In the distraction Clark Supes' up, and takes off to find out who or what is behind the sandstorm.  Of course, Lois... or maybe it's Lana question Clark's bravery in his disappearance.  Superman cleans up a fair amount of the grit, and traces it to a goofy-ass looking machine that is sucking the sand at the floor of the ocean up and blasting it all over the city.  Oh, wouldn'tcha know it... it's Kobra!

... and he's not alone!  Knowing that Superman is Clark Kent, Kobra... get this... went back in time... to fetch Ma and Pa Kent before they died... to bring them to the present, and force Superman to do his bidding.  I mean, seriously now... if you've got the power to travel through time, what more could you need?  You're living the life Kobra... why you wasting time with sand?  Superman takes the opportunity to reflect on the passing of his foster-parents... including how their aging was, at one time, halted... to their tragic passing due to some exotic Caribbean disease.

Anyhoo... Kobra tells Superman that if he doesn't comply he'll... I guess kill his already dead parents?  Okay... well, he continues... Superman is to... collect all of the sand from Metropolis and deliver it back to the goofy-ass machine.  He does so by concocting a pipe and repository from some scrap iron and cloth.  I mean, we've got a couple of really innovative dudes here... and they're both mucking about with sand?

During one of the drop-offs Superman looks inside the machine and notices that there is a filtration screen inside the sucker.  30 minutes later he returns with another batch... and when it's sucked in... the machine explodes!

We learn, from Superman, that he saw bits of the toxin from the exploded plane... from the photos earlier... betcha forgot about those... and that Kobra was using the sand to... ahem... sandblast the traces of toxin off the buildings of Metropolis... and with Superman's aid was filtering it into his device.  I mean, hell... Kobra, you've got Superman to do your bidding... why not just tell him to make Metropolis explode?

Well, no bad deed goes unpunished as they say.  Kobra turns his attention toward Ma and Pa Kent... and blasts them with his blasting ray of blastingness.  The bubble they inhabited shatters, and... two tiny Ma and Pa Kent figurines fall out.  Now, get this... Superman pulled the ol' switcheroo.  In the midst of the goofy-ass machine getting blowed up real good, he took his parents to safety, and replaced them with statuettes... from... now, get this... the pouch of his cape... where he always keeps the statuettes.  It's really adorable... and feels like this should be 1968 rather than 1978.

Kobra's all, screw this... and flies off.  Superman heads to the Fortress of Solitude where he placed the real Kent-bubble.  It's funny how it seems like every pre-Crisis issue features the Fortress.  Anyhoo, he... (I'm saying this a lot, but) get this... goes back in time with the bubble to before his foster-parents passed, and drops them off.  He flies off knowing that despite Kobra's plans, the present and future will remain unchanged... ay yai yai.

Okay... enough of that Earth-One schmazz, it's time to hop into Earth-Two... where we join the newly married Mr. and Mrs. Superman as they attempt to have a couch delivered to their third-story apartment... while they wisely watch from directly underneath it.  The wire snaps (natch), and the couch comes falling down... luckily one of them has super-quick reflexes, and saves them both from certain discomfort.

Well, Lois... is kinda ticked... after all, that was her favorite couch.  We've all got a favorite couch, right?  I mean, out of the dozen or so couches I've got littered around my house, there is one I consider my favorite.  Really, Lois... Clark tells the movers not to worry about it, after all... accidents happen.  The couple head to their apartment, and Clark reveals that his shirt and jacket took quite a trouncing from the springs of the couch.  Lois realizes how silly it was to be more worried about the couch than her own safety and they kiss in the elevator.  The End... oh, there's more?  Okay...

Upstairs, Clark changes clothes as to not arouse suspicion, and Lois comments that now they are sort of like super-teammates.  Outside we see the moving man talking via walkie talkie to... Colonel Future!  I assume he's called him at Shady Pines retirement home, if the last time we saw him is any indication.  Anyhoo, they've still got a bone to pick with the intrepid Mr. Kent... which means the couch drop wasn't an accident after all!  Now, they've got to advance to plan... I dunno, W?  Clark hops into his car... starts it... and BOOM!  The C-F gang pulled the ol' your car blows up when you start it gag!

LOVE this panel!

Well, Superman quickly evacuates the scene, and as the moving man is celebrating a job well done, he notices Clark Kent exiting the building as carefree as ever!  Whoops!  He thinks the bomb went off prematurely.

Now the C-F gang is kind of at their wits-end, so they decide, screw it... enough with the subterfuge... let's just point a gun at Mrs. Kent's head!  Clark reenters the apartment to witness the scene.  As to... not arouse suspicion, he places his hands in the air as if to submit to the baddies.

Lois gets behind her husband, and decides to... rip his shirt open, displaying the Superman emblem... and, damned if that ain't a goofy looking "S"!  The C-F goons attempt to fill Mssr. Kent full'a lead... and that goes about as well as you'd imagine.  Superman superbreathes the geeks into the wall, knocking them out.

Superman ties the gangsters up by wrapping them with a metal pole.  Lois then walks over to the... what's that thing called?  The thing that Seinfeld would "buzz" to let people into the building?  Yeah, that thing... Lois walks over to the Seinfeld-building-buzzer-thing, and tells "Clark" that it's safe to come up.  Superman takes this cue to use his... get this... Super-Ventriloquism... then fly off and return moments later as Clark Kent... yeah, sure buddy... your secret's totally safe!

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Okay... so does anyone not know Superman is Clark Kent?  I was almost expecting the villainous C-F moving men in the Earth-Two story to be like "Yeah, tell us something we don't already know!" when Lois popped her husband's shirt open.  The bronze age can be so weird... I mean, in the Earth-One story, "The Deadliest Man Alive" Kobra finds out the secret identity... and nabs the Kents... from the past... to get Superman to do his bidding.  Isn't this kind of like using a billion-dollar device to break into a bank to steal ten-grand?

While on the subject of Kobra... wouldn't he, I dunno... threaten to level the Galaxy Building?  Kill Lana and Lois?  Broadcast that Superman is really Clark Kent?  So weird... Also... Superman goes into the past to drop off the Kents... so they can die... say what?  If dude can time-travel... then, nothing's off-limits, right?  So damn weird.

Now... ahem... with all that out of the way... I still had a good time reading this.  You really gotta be in a pre-Crisis mood... that's for sure... but, overall, a fun disposable issue of Superman.

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