Doom Patrol (vol.3) #1 (December, 2001)
Writer - John Arcudi
Artist - Tan Eng Huat
Letterer - Bob Lappan
Colorist - Dave Stewart
Assistant Editor - Harvey Richards
Editor - Andy Helfer
Cover Price: $2.50
Since I'm in a Doom Patrol kinda mood, today we're going to discuss that other volume of DP... not the Morrison one that everyone loves, nor the Byrne one that everyone... well, doesn't. We're gonna talk about one in between... no no no, not the Rachel Pollack Vertigo run... the other one! Yeah, that turn of the century pseudo-manga-lookin' one by John Arcudi! It's been awhile... hell, about 15 years... since I've read this. Let's see how this baby aged!
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We open on a foursome of young heroes as they attempt to rescue a crew of a sinking ship as it plunges into the freezing water. They are led by a fella with a southern sounding accent. One member is a girl with short blonde hair who can create heat in things around her. Another is a girl with long dark hair who... well, controls ribbons that come out of her body (?). The non-southern guy on the team appears as though he can manifest a (rather slippery) force field around his body.
Nothing seems to be going right for our gang. The crewmates they were intending to save all perish in their bungled attempt. The "heat-making girl" actually winds up cooking the lot of 'em when she makes the water too hot. Good thing for all involved, this was only a Virtual Reality simulation. The southern-soundin' field leader slumps down in the snow and smokes a cigarette after berating his team for their massive failure.
We shift scenes to a familiar face. It's Cliff Steele, Robotman! He's turning a wheel... but it's not a steering wheel like he used when he was a famous race car driver... instead he now works for... I wanna say, an oil refinery. His robotic stature allows him to work in the sweltering Arizona-esque temperatures of the tank valve area. Also, of particular... disturbing... note, Cliff appears to have a full set of teeth behind his steam shovel jaw.
We now meet multi-billionaire Thayer Jost. He is the sponsor... owner... moneyman for the team of youngsters from the open. They are called Jostice Inc., and... well, they kinda suck. So much so, that Jost demands they be yanked off the cover of Newstime Magazine. They're jost... er just not ready to debut yet. Jost feels they need something, but he's not quite sure what.
We rejoin Cliff as he returns to his apartment after work. Here we learn that he appears to be having a tough time paying his rent. Man, don't they pay him at the plant? Well, yeah... but more on that in a bit. He heads out for a walk, and no sooner than commenting on how icy and slick the roads are... he finds himself saving the neighborhood from a car veering out of control due to those conditions. Looks like Guy Fieri here doesn't know how to drive in the winter.
A crowd assembles and the press get involved. It isn't long before the media pronounces that a former Doom Patrol member is playing hero once more. This news story catches the eye of our Mr. Jost.
The next day at work Cliff is told he has a "guest". He reports to the plant's mess hall and meets a moderately excited Thayer Jost. For all the Doom Patrol newbies, we get a quick (four-panel) run down of Cliff (and the team's) origin.
Jost is not just here to chat about Cliff's past... he's got an offer for his future. He offers him a large increase in pay to help mentor his prospective super-team. Cliff hems and haws a bit... and Jost drops a bombshell. He knows that Cliff, while being paid rather well by the plant, is having trouble making rent. It is implied... actually, it's flat out said that Cliff is spending his salary on a "project", but does not elaborate.
Later, at Jost HQ, Jostice Inc. is introduced to their new Task Force Commander, Cliff Steele. It is here that we get a proper introduction to the foursome. Meet Fever, Kid Slick, Freak, and Fast Forward.
Fast Forward seems rather reluctant to accept Cliff as part of the team. Jost insists he is only there in an advisory capacity... though by Robotman's reaction we can tell he was promised far more. Jost introduces Cliff to their Virtual Reality simulation center. Think "Danger Room" without the cool name. I gotta say, Cliff's mouthful of teeth is really creeping me out here.
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| Hurrrrrr.... |
Cliff takes roll, and learns what his new team is capable of. The only one being a jerk is Fast Forward... He mouths off to Cliff one time too many, and is asked to take a look 30 seconds into the future (which is his power). He must've seen that Robotman is gonna knock his block off if he doesn't change his tone, because his demeanor immediately changes. This is a very funny use of his powers.
The next couple of pages show Cliff doing the coaching thang. He shows Fever that she can heat water without touching it... Kid Slick is given concentration techniques to ensure he doesn't slip when he's sliding... Fast Forward gets pounded into the ground, ya know... to help his hand-to-hand combat acumen... and Freak, well... does her freaky thing.
We wrap up with Jost and Cliff sitting across the table from one another. Turns out what Jost wanted all along was the Doom Patrol license and trademark... which I suppose, as the last living (as far as we know) member, Cliff has power of attorney over. Cliff signs on the dotted line for an undisclosed (yet massive) amount of money. Ladies and Gentlemen... meet, your new Doom Patrol.
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There's definitely something "turn of the century" about this... which, is probably because that's when it was released. I mean, duh, right? When this came out I was 21 years old, and although I had a better paying job than I had any right to have, I feel I was still something of a slacker. A throwback from the 1990's... I'm sure I wore a flannel shirt tied around my waist a time or two... and I can say that with absolute certainty... because, ahem... I still do. I have an excuse though... seriously. Here in Arizona it can go from really cold first thing in the morning to really hot in the mid-morning. So there ya go! Anyhoo, where was I?
Oh yeah... this feels like it kind of evokes that "slacker" type of mood that was in the comics ether around now. The characters were moody young people... they looked kinda grunged-out... like, if I didn't know better, I could see this being a fill-in for Gen13 rather than the Doom Patrol... you follow? This doesn't feel like a DC book. It feels like an Image book from the era when they were just trying to find their footing post-speculator bust.
Much of that has to do with the art, for sure. But the writing also doesn't feel DC... at least to me. Let's not get it twisted... that's not a bad thing. It's just a thing that is. It seemed (at least to me) that one of the big trends in funnybooks around the time was for superheroes to "go corporate" and this is another case of that. I remember really digging this when it came out, and I found myself rather enjoying revisiting it today. It's certainly not the best Doom Patrol... hell, I'm sure folks would argue it's not the Doom Patrol at all. What it is, is a fairly interesting introductory chapter. We meet the gang, and get a pretty good impression what the tone of the volume will be (at least at the start).
Back when this was released, I remember there being a bit of controversy over Tan Eng Huat's art. Folks seemed to either love it or hate it... with very little in between. I lean more toward "loving" it... though, I clearly do not like that Tan draws Cliff as having teeth. I don't recall if he's ever had teeth before (or after) this... but if so, they were not nearly as noticeable as they were here. They made his face look quite "off", and I did not dig the decision to include them.
Overall... this is a difficult one for me to give a solid recommendation for. If you're a fan of the Morrison run, or the current Gerard Way Young Animal run... this is tonally and aesthetically very different. Don't get me wrong, it's good... quite good, in fact. It's just very different from what a Doom Patrol fan may be expecting to see... in a Doom Patrol comic.
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New Adventures of Superboy #9 (September, 1980)
"How to Stamp Out a Superboy"
"The Day of the Lost Clothing!"
Writers - Cary Bates & E. Nelson Bridwell
Pencillers - Kurt Schaffenberger & Rich Buckler
Inkers - Dave Hunt & Romeo Tanghal
Colorists - Gene D'Angelo & Jerry Serpe
Letterer - Ben Oda
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.50
These issues of the New Adventures of Superboy always seem to draw me in with some wacky cover copy. If it ain't The Misadventures of Superbaby... it's the chance to peek into Superboy's Secret Diary! Now tell me, who could pass up an opportunity like that? Not me, that's for sure! I mean, maybe we'll find out that he has a super secret crush on Lana Lang... as if there's any other girls in this book, right? Well, ones who get names anyway... Anyhoo, let's get down to business in Smallville, circa a long time ago.
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It's Monday morning at Smallville High... and Clark Kent is dead! You really wouldn't know it to look at his former (non-Lana or Pete) classmates or even his teacher though. It's just another day for them. We check in with Lana, who at this point doesn't know that Clark is secretly Superboy... and Pete, who does know... but Clark doesn't know he knows... ya know? But we know that he knows and that's all that matters, see? A-hem. Anyhoo, Pete is recounting the "death" of his best pal... he and Clark were canoeing up Smallville River when a mysterious geyser erupts which capsizes the boat. Superboy is quickly on the scene to rescue Pete, but claims that it was too late to do anything for poor Master Kent. Further, Superboy leaves it to Pete to tell everyone what's happened to Clark. Remember though... Pete knows Superboy and Clark are one in the same.
We shift to a territory by (but not on, clearly) the Rocky Mountains where Superboy is lending a helping hand to some miners by hurling large boulders into the ground... while they drink their coffee. Must be government work! Anyhoo, the workers notice that Superboy does not appear to be his normal jovial self (which tells me he does a lot of their work for them).
Back in Smallville, Lana and Pete pay a visit to the Kents. Ya see, Lana has Clark's geology notebook... and she figures Ma and Pa might want it... because, why not right? Pa graciously accepts the book, and the kids leave while their pal's parents sob. Pete thinks to himself how they must be putting on an act here, because he knows that they know that... ya know...
Back with the Teen of Steel, we watch as he literally sews a hot air balloon back together somewhere over the Atlantic... with a giant needle and spool of thread. Love silly stuff like this! The ballooners comment that the Smallville Sensation looks pretty down in the dumps.
Back in Smallville, Pete slaps himself in the head because he forgot his term paper inside Clark's notebook... d'oh! So now he needs to revisit the Kents and just make an overall nuisance of himself. Before he knocks, he hears Ma and Pa lament the loss of their son. Pete begins to wonder what could possibly be going on if the Kents no longer know their son's secret!
We soon learn that young Pete Ross isn't the only eavesdropper zeroed in on the Kent home... Superboy himself is watching over his adoptive parents as well! He recalls that the Kents have somehow been robbed of their "Superboy memories" and he decided that until he knows how or why that occurred he'd probably steer clear. So, like any rational fella... he fakes his own death, and puts his parents through the worst pain one could ever imagine. Good lookin' out, Clark! Here is where we also learn that Superboy has some eavesdroppers of his own... you may know them as the three folks that Superman would eventually *spoilers* kill during the John Byrne run.
We get to listen in on the Phantom Zone Criminals... General Zod, Jax-Ur and Faora Hu-ul... and we discover that they can "communicate telepathically" from the zone to the Earthly plane... and really, they're just screwing with young Kal-El to be jerks. There doesn't appear to be anything deeper going on here... their revenge is just making Kal sad... and hoping that he eventually goes off planet. Well, I got some good news and bad news Zod-Gang... you'll eventually get your wish, but you won't like how we get there!
The baddies continue to look on and see that the stress is starting to get to the Boy of Steel. He's slipping a bit... being less thorough in his super-duties, which almost winds up causing a small village to get decimated by a flood. Zod and company yuk it up, while Superboy reflects on his exhaustion... and so, he heads to his new Himalayan Headquarters (just go with it).
He wallows a bit before busting through the mountain because he is "... bored stiff!" The Phantom Zone Criminals are still watching, and are tickled transparent at Superboy's erratic behavior... and their part in it.
Back in Smallville, Pete Ross wanders through the woods in search of Superboy's secret trap door back to the Kent house... and whattaya know, he finds it... pretty easily. You probably don't want to leave a trap-door shaped lump in the middle of the woods where your trap-door is being hidden.
As young Pete works his way through the tunnel... for what reason, I haven't the foggiest... Ma and Pa Kent enter their son's bedroom. They consider the ramifications of what they're about to do... and speak in whispers. What follows almost defies explanation... well, rational explanation anyway... Pa sets his pipe down in a box of tissues. Yeah, Jonathan Kent is a budding arsonist...
Pete emerges from the trap-door and ventures up to Clark's room... we learn he's still a pervert eavesdropper, and overheard the sinister "burning down the house" plan. And so, like any mild-mannered teen... he helps stoke the flames, and gets that bugger goin' real good.
It isn't long before the entire Kent house is up in flames. Ma and Pa stand outside watching... which will probably not help their pending insurance claim... when Superboy finally arrives on the scene. He extinguishes the flames with his super-breath... and everything is cool... except, ya know... the house burned down.
Superboy grabs his parents and flies them off to safety. Meanwhile Pete is nothing more than a pile of ashes... no, no he's not, we'll get back to him soon... Kal watches as his folks stir back into consciousness, and as soon as he knows they are okay, he takes flight... destination: off-planet. Though, a moment later, he smacks himself in the head (two head slaps in one issue, nice!)... and, with a goofy grin returns to his parents' side. The Zonies are positively perplexed by this puzzling turn of events!
Apparently, the Kents were wearing a "secret signal" in their pockets in the form of "compressed packets of Clark Kent clothes"... okey doke... this tells Superboy that they have gotten their memories back! Yay... too bad you're now homeless...
The folks share their tale with their son. While Martha was doing laundry she got zapped with a telepathic blast. This allowed her to eavesdrop on the Phantom Zone Criminals, and understand their evil plans. She brought Jon in on the caper when she thought the coast was clear. Turns out they were able to use one of Clark's "space trophies" to gain all their wonderful knowledge back. Wow.
We wrap up this whacked out tale with Clark returning... from the dead, mind you... and just going back to school. On the way he stops by his pal Pete's house, and finally tells him that he is, in fact Superboy. Hey Clark, maybe you should ask him if you can move in for a bit... on a count that your Pa burned your house down! All's well that ends well...
Our next story starts with Flash Thompson knocking the lunch tray out of "puny" Peter Parker's hands... wait, no that's not it at all... a-hem. A bully called "Bash" knocks the tray out of "puny" Clark Kent's hands... there we go... this causes Clark's sweater to get a nasty milk stain on it. I didn't know milk stained... but, believe it or not... it's vital to the story, so we'll just go with it.
Later that day, there is a hold up at Mr. Trotter's Drug Store. Clark performs his normal wardrobe change, and leaves his CK clothes behind the bushes.
Bash witnesses Superboy flying away and heads to the bushes where he thinks he saw him take off from. As Superboy is boppin' baddies, Bash sees Clark's (yellow, ew) milk-stained sweater laying in the pile of Superboy-civvies. Uh oh. He grabs the evidence and runs off to spread the word. Luckily, he just happens to forget Clark's specs.
Superboy trails Bash, and is able to use his heat vision to pump the bully full of radiation... no, that's not it... he uses his heat vision to "dry clean" the soiled sweater. He then goes home, and grabs an identical sweater from his collection of... identical sweaters, and dumps a glass of milk on it, much to Ma's bemusement.
Back at school, Bash is pleading his case that Clark Kent is Superboy... when Clark Kent arrives, with his stained sweater. Bash is bamboozled, and throws a fit (and the sweater). We wrap up learning that this is why Superboy's cape has a hidden pouch in it where Clark can stash his civvies while he's fighting the never-ending battle.
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What a weird book. Really now... we've got Superboy faking his own death... Clark's classmates and teacher not really noticing or caring that he's dead... the Kents burning down their house... after receiving temporary telepathic powers via a Kryptonian artifact that was hidden in their laundry room... What in the bluest of hells is going on here?!? Then... and then, we get a bit where Flash Thompson the school bully deduces that Clark Kent must be Superboy because he found his soiled shirt behind the bushes. What a world!
I mean, I gotta say that I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was just too whacked out for me not to. I'm sitting there and I see Pa Kent drop his lit pipe into a box of tissues... it's like, there's no way, right? He's not really going to burn down their house, is he? The answer is, yes... he was really going to burn down their house. Just so silly... almost anachronistically so. This does not feel like a book from the 1980's.
General Zod is still a character who makes me yawn... but I definitely liked seeing him here, alongside the other couple of Phantom Zone Criminals. The last time we talked about this trio, it didn't work out so well for them, did it? It was neat seeing them outside the context of them being killed-real-good. Though they are outrageously goofy.
The story here... while I liked it... I can't help but feel as though I missed something. Superboy/Clark left after his folks forgot his Superboyness... because, why exactly? It's not because he's protecting them from people stuck in the Phantom Zone, because they tell him about that! I dunno... just seemed kinda slapdash. Then there's the ending... suddenly it's just a-okay to return home? Why? Weirder still, how does he explain that to his classmates, right? I'm willing to give it a pass just because it reminded me of that zany Silver-Age DC Comics nuttiness. I figure that's probably the tone this series is going for. I've got plenty more from this run, and at first blush they do appear to be something straight out of the mid-sixties... and that's not a bad thing.
If you're down for a real strange tale from when Superman was a boy... you can do far worse than this not-too-far-from Crisis series.
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Infinity Inc. #1 (March, 1984)
"Generations!"
Writer/Editor - Roy Thomas
Co-Plotter - Dann Thomas
Penciller/Co-Designer - Jerry Ordway
Inker/Co-Designer - Mike Machlan
Colorist - Anthony Tollin
Letterer - John Costanza
Cover Price: $1.25
Going to check in on a series I never really read... but somehow find myself having quite a bit of in the ol' library. It's JSA: The Next Generation in Infinity Inc.
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It's Christmas Eve and the Justice Society has come together for a meeting. Before the current chairman, Hawkman can call the session to order, a foursome of colorfully clad superhero types burst through the double doors. They insist they are the Society's newest members. Hawkman and company are visibly confused.
So confused, in fact, that a battle breaks out. I mean, these youngsters didn't burst in and threaten to kill the JSA... they offered to join them! That matters not, and the Society pounces into action. The fight is hardly competitive, and before long the foursome find themselves bound by Wonder Woman's lasso. Here we learn that the female among the group is Hippolyta Trevor... the daughter of Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor.
The Society demands their new captives take off their masks... though only one of them wears a full face mask. Now we discover that the newbies are Nuklon, the Godson of the original Atom... Silver Scarab, the son of Hawkman... and Norda, who has some link to Hawkman.
The oldsters read them the riot act, and advise them that they won't be needing their services. Doctor Fate soon pipes up as the lone voice of reason... why wouldn't the JSA want to bring in some new recruits? Three junior members of the Justice Society, including Robin, the Huntress, and Power Girl agree.
Hawkman continues stubbornly contesting their taking this foursome in, and Robin suggests they put it to a vote. The youngsters agree to abide by the decision of the vote, and are shuffled off into a side room to await the result.
We now get a bit of "alone time" with the gang... and they take the opportunity to recount their secret origins, starting with Hector Hall... the Silver Scarab. He discusses how absent his parents were during his youth, always fighting crime or out on archaeological digs. He enrolled in UCLA and while there ran into a face from his childhood. (Hippo)Lyta Trevor.
Lyta continues... she discusses being raised on Paradise Island and being named after her grandmother. As she reached adolescence, she sought to take over for her mother as Wonder Woman. Her parents tell her that won't be an option until she graduates from college. As we know, she opts to attend UCLA... and she recounts that during her tour she saw a certain seven-and-a-half foot red-haired boy playing basketball.
Hector resumes... he discusses his and Lyta's budding romance, and the night they decided to go all the way... and become superheroes. Hector shows her his Silver Scarab costume, which we learn is made of ninth metal. Here Lyta decides to take on the code name, Fury.
After giving us a brief recap on Nuklon's origin (he's got "bad genes" or something), Al recalls meeting with Hector and Lyta a few days earlier. They tell him that they're planning on doing the hero thang, and convince Nuklon to throw in as well. After which, he heads off to the restroom and gives himself a ridiculous looking mohawk.
Last up, we hear from Norda. Hawkman discovered a hidden city in Greenland called Feithera which was comprised of bird-people. The footnote tells us that this occurred in 1946... wow. Anyhoo, Carter brought a friend with him to live among the birdfolk for a time. In that time... well, I guess he fell in love... or got lonely, because next thing we know we've got a half-human, half-bird abomination is hatching from an egg!
Checking in with the Justice Society... the vote has come down to the wire, seven for and seven against. It is up to the chairman, Hakwman to make the deciding vote. The Star-Spangled Kid informs our gang that the vote is in... and it's not the one they were hoping for.
Suddenly another couple of newbies enter the scene. They introduce themselves as Jennie-Lynn and Todd... and claim to be the children of Green Lantern, Alan Scott!
So they all gather around the conference table and proceed to rationally talk things out. No, no... none of that... we get another fight... albeit a short one.
It doesn't last long... and as the dust settles, Silver Scarab considers the possibility that the Justice Society just might not be for him. He and the gang take their leave... only to be joined by Jade and Obsidian.
The junior members of the Justice Society are pretty peeved by what they'd just experienced, with Huntress and Power Girl ultimately deciding to walk out. Robin and the Star-Spangled Kid attempt to reason with the gals, but it is to no avail.
Now we go from a JSA that was positively bursting with members... to a team that is two members short. Seems like the perfect time for a super villain to strike! Enter Brain Wave... to be continued...
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Well... this was a pretty good issue, however, I can't help but feel it could have been a lot better. Not that I expected a whole lot more than the introduction of the new team or anything... which we did get... I dunno, the whole thing felt kind of disjointed and for lack of a better term, weak.
We were beaten over the heads with just how old the Justice Society members are here. They called the Infinity Inc'ers everything short of "whippersnapper" here. I mean, we get it... the Society has been around for awhile... but the dialog here just really drives that point home, in an unnatural and forced kinda way.
The fact that they didn't recognize these kids... in some cases their kids... is really quite silly. Outside of Silver Scarab, none of them are wearing terribly obscuring face masks. This whole bit just didn't sit right with me. Speaking of not sitting right... why would the JSA turn away perspective pledges? Especially those who are part of the biological or figurative bloodline? Just seems strange. I would imagine they'd be real keen on taking on some younger members... as for no other reason, it would allow some of the senior members to perhaps retire.
I did like that the JSA turning the Inc'ers away caused a schism in the ranks, with the younger crew doing a little walk-out. It would stand to reason that they would see the value of injecting new blood... being as though they themselves are new blood.
I suppose if we are going to do an origin info-dump, the "let's reminisce while the old folks vote" scene was as good as any to take care of that. I really dug seeing some of Hector and Lyta's early days recounted, being as though my only real experience with them is from Neil Gaiman's Sandman. This was a neat way to fill in some blanks.
We also learn that Green Lantern has a pair of children he never knew about. Ruh roh... you'd figure Alan would wanna keep these two around to get to know them... or at least find out who their mother is!
Overall... not a bad initial outing. Though the conflict feels contrived, and the dialog is a tad bit old-fashioned, it's still a decent enough read. This is a series I definitely want to continue tracking down.
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