Chris is on Infinite Earths

Friday, December 9, 2016

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13B (1996)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13B (October, 1996)

We open with Grunge on his merry way to the Valley of the Dolls when he stumbles across a pile of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles merchandise... and, well I'll be damned, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves! Grunge helps them get back on their feet, and they give him a sob story about their current status, and how they wish they could go back to being comic book heroes again. They give Grunge the hot tip on the whereabouts of the Great Wizard, and send him through the Frenzy Beast's path of wreckage.

Grunge and Tink follow the path in to the Scary Forest where they come across Fone Bone being roasted on an open fire by one of the Stupid Stupid Rat Creatures. Tinker Fall buzzes around the rat's face, and Grunge kayos him with a wicked left hand. Here Grunge learns that his Gen-Factor Powers are not active in the Land of S.A. Bone decides to accompany Grunge on his way to the Valley.

The pair (and Tink) wander past a fountain, and Grunge decides to eat some of the "tasty looking beans" that are floating in it... yeah, that sounds like something you definitely wanna do, Grunge. Well, the grossness of eating found floating beans aside, these buggers are actually living breathing citizens of Beanworld! Grunge spits'em out and 'pologizes.

Our traveling pals continue into Image Land... or maybe it's Image Town... the sign changes between panels. This is where Bone splits off from the group. We get a pretty neat bird's eye view of the town, and see that it is broken up into disparate little fiefdoms... one for each Image founder's imprint. At a glance I see Top Cow, WildStorm, Erik Larsen's head, and whatever the hell Rob Liefeld was calling his imprint at the time... either Extreme or Awesome. We get our first in-town cameos here as Savage Dragon tosses both Wonder Woman and the Hulk out of the Highbrow Club.

Grunge wanders past the Top Cow barn, and notes that it is deserted. I think this was around the time of Shattered Image, where Silvestri was going to leave Image... but ultimately wound up staying... and by the time the Shattered Image (4 issue) miniseries wrapped up, they'd kicked out Liefeld. Whatta mess.

Speaking of Liefeld... there's a notice of eviction on his fiefdom... and some very Liefeldian gritted-teeth characters are quite displeased with the proceedings. In the background we see some of Rob's garbage... including an overpriced Badrock suit and a copy of... get this, Young Crud. Poor Rob... this is some cold-blooded spoo.

Grunge continues on until he gets to Wildstorm Castle... inside the (miniature) DV8 heroes (remember them?) run up to Grunge and ask if he's their daddy. They tell him that Dr. Frankenlynch is in charge, and is the only one that can help him find the Wizard. Grunge heads up a long flight of stairs to meet up with the Doc and his henchman Leegor.

Upstairs, Grunge runs into Leegor... who isn't Stan Lee... but Jim Lee (complete with Fantastic Four ball cap...)! Lee tells him he'll find the answers he seeks in the alley... Hmm, I wonder who he might meet back there...

Yup... Spawn. Spawn tells Grunge that the Wizard has already left to do battle with the Frenzy Beast.

He sees something in Grunge, and feels that he may be the right man to help free the Land of S.A. from the Beast... but he cannot go alone. Why, only a Madman would choose to go along with him... good thing we got one'a those!

--

The hell did I just read?

Don't get me wrong... I thought a lot of it was fun... but even I, who's been reading comics for upwards of three decades, have to say... this was perhaps a bit too "inside baseball". I couldn't imagine a reader today picking this up and getting even half of the references in here. You've almost gotta have a working knowledge of everything Image... and a stack of Wizard Magazines of the day next to you to have even half a hope of grasping this. Very navel-gazy.

Speaking of Wizard... they keep mentioning a Great Wizard... ya don't think... nah, they wouldn't. Would they? That may be the only way they could "date" this any further... man, I hope that's not the direction this is headed. We've already gotten a Jim Lee cameo, I sure don't wanna see Gareb Shamus's mug!

I will admit I did chuckle at the Liefeld slights... but I'm kind of ashamed that I did. Seems like such a "kick a dude while he's down" kinda thing to do... especially if he and Jim Lee were working together on the Marvel Heroes Reborn event together.

The comics cameos were pretty great here... really quite surprising that they were allowed to cram all that graham in here. Makes me miss the days that comics were less "corporate". This kind of thing wouldn't/couldn't happen these days lest we taint Disney or Warner's pending movie IP's.
Overall a completely insane issue that was a ton of fun to read. I know I said that the previous issue may not appeal to everyone... I think this one might just for the sheer novelty of seeing all of these characters together. If you're not a 90's comics kid, don't expect to get all the in jokes... hell, even if you are of that era you probably won't! This one shouldn't be too terribly difficult to track down at a decent price. If you come across this (or any of the #13's) give'em a look through. We'll wrap up the "13 Trilogy" tomorrow... I gave it the ol' flip through... we're in for some ridiculously crazy stuff!
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(Ya call that a) Letters Page:

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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13A (1996)

Gen¹³ (vol.2) #13A (August, 1996)

Story - Brandon Choi, J. Scott Campbell & Jim Lee
Pencils - J. Scott Campbell
Inks - Alex Garner
Ink Assist - Peter Guzman
Colors - Joe Chiodo with Martin Jimenez
Letters - Bill O'Neil
Computer Colors - WildStorm FX
Assistant Editor - Gigi Barbes
Editor - Sarah Becker
Cover Price: $1.30

With the (somewhat) recent revelation that Warren Ellis is going to be reimagining the WildStorm properties for DC in the near future, I decided it may be a good time to take a look at some of the old WildStorm properties. I've somehow found myself in possession of more of these things than I ever remember buying!

Not sure this will be a regular feature here, but I think it will be a fun "change in scenery"... for readers and myself. Anyhoo... today we've got an odd gimmicky issue of Gen¹³ ... one which is broken up into three parts! Seems like a pretty interesting one to check out... at least the first part. Is that Jughead in the corner box? What in the hell have we gotten ourselves into?!?

EDIT: To include Cosmic Treadmill Episode where we discussed this story

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We open with the Gen¹³ kids as they are dropped off at the Horton Plaza Mall in downtown San Diego. They are all complaining that their "allowances" for this excursion are so small. We get Roxy checking out a swimsuit and Rainmaker checking out Roxy... because, she's a lesbian and this is a comic from the 1990's... subtlety wasn't really a thing at this point. Fairchild is looking at a book... Burnout is looking at a Fender Strat (signed by Dave Navarro! What decade is this again?)

Grunge ain't into all that garbage... he beelines it to the comic book store... which is packed like they were giving out black-bagged versions of Superman #75. What they are actually giving out is a... ahem... limited edition Captain Pyro chromium cover. There's only one in the shop... nay, the city... perhaps the planet (!) and our man wants it. To get it, however... he's gonna have to win a raffle.

The girls are confused by Grunge's fixation with the funnybook... but Anna (the robotic housekeeper) drops some knowledge... these comic books are a great investment! The one in question is now worth (approximately) $79.95... and appreciating at 10%/month. Ooh baby! I think they're in the wrong half of the 1990's to play this completely straight... but I'll allow it.

Anyhoo, Rainmaker and Burnout mock Grunge for being a manchild, and Roxy comes to his aid. Grunge, being a manchild, thinks Roxy is mocking him as well, and he stomps off to buy his Captain Pyro raffle ticket. The next page shows that he loses out to a stereotypical nerd. Fairchild tells Grunge he should maybe try getting into comics from the Indie scene... but Grunge is all "no capes, no buys".

Later on, the gang grabs a bite at ~~The Max~~ Oh Boy Burger. Grunge is complaining about losing out to "some geek fan-boy"... hey big guy, quit projecting... he's so distraught, he can hardly eat... but he eats anyway. It is soon made disturbingly clear that the burger did not agree with his belly... and classy guy that he is, he excuses himself to the restroom...

... where he meets a creepy dude. Not just any old creepy dude, however... a creepy dude with a chromium copy of Captain Pyro! He offers it to Grunge for the low low price of... his mortal soul. Grunge, being an idiot, quickly takes him up on his offer. When he returns to his friends... he collapses to the floor.

He is awakened by a tiny pixie, a mix of Tinkerbell and Roxy who calls herself Tinker Fall (get it? Roxy's code name is Freefall, wonk wonk). She tells him he is in the Land of Sequential Art and she was sent by the Good Witch to meet with the Great Wizard. To find the Great Wizard he's going to need to speak with a certain bunch of kids at Riverdale High School. Whaaaaa?

After a brief and awkward introduction, Archie and the gang bring Grunge/Ronnie over to Pops for a bite to eat. Here we learn that even his appetite is no match for Jughead's. He spies the jukebox and asks Betty and Veronica to put on some "B***H*** Surfers"... which dates this book something horrendous, don't it? For those who don't remember, The Butthole Surfers were a nominally popular band back then, and (if I'm remembering correctly) there was a bit of an uproar from "concerned citizens" that their album, Electriclarryland was stocked at K-Mart. This made it so they had to make special cover art with the asterisks in the band name. I'll try and track down pics to include below. Anyhoo... the gals head off... and we're given a peek at them in Grunge vision... which is how they'd look if J. Scott Campbell drew them in his normal style. We also get a glimpse of the fellas.

We wrap up with Grunge trying to hit on Betty and Veronica... he gets slaps to both cheeks. Then our old pal Reggie tells him how to go about finding the Great Wizard (that's not a Klan thing, right?). He says to head to the Valley of the Dolls. This makes Archie a bit nervous... because ya see, the Valley of the Dolls is home to "The Bad Girls"... uh-oh.

--

Okay... this was fun and dumb at the same time. For whatever reason... okay, a pretty obvious reason... this isn't really a book I want to have the wife look over my shoulder while I'm reading. I can't even fake it and say that there's some really deep or meaningful story inside. It's just dumb fun... and takes me back to a dumb and fun time in my life. That having been said, my account of this issue may be a bit biased.

Let's address the elephant in the room first... the art. It's great. I know it's cheesecake... I know, I know... but it's still really nice. I think Campbell is talented enough an artist that he can do cheesecake and not have it seem (totally) gratuitous. He also draws great fellas... and somehow, even great Archie-style characters... go figure! I gotta also mention... the coloring. It is ridiculously pretty. Even if DC bought WildStorm solely for their coloring (which I'm not saying they did)... I think they made a good purchase!

The story... like I said... is dumb. This being something of a gimmick issue, I think I can forgive the silliness. This is what it is... and doesn't dare pretend to be anything more. It's unrepentant for it's late 90's-ness... and I find it quite endearing. I'm sure this is probably a bit of rose-colored goggles on my part... but whattaya gonna do, right? It was fun hanging out with the gang again... especially after we got that tease in issue #33 of New-52 Supergirl.

This book isn't for everybody, that much is clear. If you're currently in your thirties... I think you'll dig this. Above or below your thirties? You still may like it... but nostalgia probably won't come into play for you. Sadly, to my knowledge, this isn't available digitally... but, with WildStorm becoming a "thing" again... ya never know. It may not be long before we get the entire run up there. Can't say this is one you need to track down... but seeing one of the most "nineties" characters put to paper have lunch with the Riverdale gang is quite the novelty.

Here are the different versions of the 'Surfers album:

Had quite a bit of fun with this one... may have to consider venturing deeper into DC's pantheon of imprints in the future.

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(Ya call that a) Letters Page:

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Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Titans (vol.3) #5 (2017)

Titans (vol.3) #5 (January, 2017)
"The Return of Wally West, Part Five: Run For Their Lives"
Writer - Dan Abnett
Penciller - Brett Booth
Inker - Norm Rapmund
Colorist - Andrew Dalhouse
Letterer - Carlos M. Mangual
Assistant Editor - Brittany Holzherr
Editor - Alex Antone
Group Editor - Marie Javins
Cover Price: $2.99

Another "from the pile" pick. When term-paper purgatory ends, I'll be digging deeper again. I'll hopefully be able to catch up on my Rebirth reading too! I've currently got a backlog of well over 100 issues... ALL Rebirth branded... ay yai yai.

As with all new/newer issues, the spoilery synopsis portion will be somewhat less-so. Considering just how little happens in this issue, it's gonna be seriously short. Either way, I don't wanna give it all away if it's still on the racks.

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We pick up where we left off last issue... Wally is faced with quite a dilemma. His fellow Titans (and Linda Park) are all facing certain death... he has enough time to save some of them... but there's no way he can save them all... or can he? Abra Kadabra watches in glee as our man speeds off.

From here we get... several pages of Wally running around saving his teammates. We get into his head for a bit of it, and he reminisces about his time being with Linda back in the "real" DC Universe... though, oddly... he still hasn't mentioned the twins. I know I don't mind them being nyoinked out... but c'mon Wally, they're your own flesh and blood!

After saving all of the Titans from their diabolical doppelgangers, he beelines it to Linda. She is hanging precariously upside down over a vat of molten some such. Just as she is about to fall in... Wally catches her and pulls her out of harm's way.

Linda gathers her druthers and her first instinct is to be... ya know, really ticked off. Her attention then turns to Wally who is standing before her absolutely drenched in lightning... he was able to save all those he cares for... but at what cost?

With a flash (!) of light... Wally is gone. Perhaps he has been dragged back into the Speed Force... we're going to have to wait 30 whole days to find out. At least Abra Kadabra's happy!

--

Ya know... I'm of two minds on this issue... this title, really. On one hand, it's great seeing these characters all together again... though, if I had my way, Gar, Vic, and Kory would be here too... that's unfortunately neither here nor there. When I covered the first issue of this volume several months back, I positively gushed over how much I enjoyed it. On the other hand... and maybe this is due to the biweekly dominance of DC at the moment... but this feels just painfully slow.

I mean we're five issues (plus a Rebirth special) in... and not a whole lot has happened. Sure, we've got a tacky white-bordered trade paperback we gotta fill... but, man... this be slow! Plus the content... I'm reminded of a few times when Chris Claremont would return to an X-Family book, say early-mid 2000's... we'd get battles with doppelgangers... and it was always boring. Granted, here I kinda dug it when they showed up... but that was issues (and months) ago at this point.

I'll concede that I enjoy the idea of Wally having to push himself here. Having to punch it into overdrive as to not leave any Titans or potential future-past wives behind... only to find himself swallowed up into the (maybe) Speed Force... again. It paints Wally as a true altruist, and provides us with a problem that will need solved. I gotta say though... this did not need an entire issue. This could have all been accomplished in a scant handful of pages... or hell, perhaps even one.

If this was a biweekly book I may feel a bit different.. . but knowing the next chapter is coming 4-5 weeks from now... I'm gonna need more. What's more, non-Titans-completionists will definitely require more. I want this book to succeed. I want the Titans franchise to be top-tier/top of the sales charts for DC Comics. I don't want this to be canned (or relaunched several times over) within the next couple of years... I want this to be the start of a new golden era for this team/these teams... for that to happen, we're gonna need more.

The art and coloring are still really nice, though Linda's ridiculous sideburns are fairly horrid. Everyone else looks really good. The color is a particular treat here... very vibrant... beautiful reds especially.

We get a cliffhanger that's already been spoiled by solicitations... of course we know Wally's not going anywhere... especially seeing as though we just got him back... but it would be nice to not be spoiled by coming attractions... sadly, this is contemporary comics, and I'm afraid that that train's already left the station.

Speaking of things that have left the station... I wanna just take a second to look at the cover. We got a blurb here which reads "Wally's Last Run!" I gotta say... if I were a new (ha!) reader, that would not entice me to pick this issue up. Maybe put "Flash's Last Run!"... but, "Wally"? I dunno... seems like this book is directed solely at folks who are already in the market to buy it. I guess that was kind of what Rebirth was all about, and may seem like a silly complaint... but I couldn't help but sigh when I saw it. Then again, this is an industry that tried to publish a comic book called "Osborn". So, what do I know?

Overall... it pains me to say this but... if I wasn't an insane completionist, I'd be waiting for the trade. In modern day DC Comics, books come out twice a month... the books that only come out once feel such a far step behind... especially when not all that much happens to advance the story. No pun intended... this book is running in place.

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Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Action Comics #968 (2017)

Action Comics #968 (January, 2017)
"Men of Steel, Part 2"
Writer - Dan Jurgens
Art - Tyler Kirkham
Letterer - Rob Leigh
Colorist - Ulises Arreola
Associate Editor - Paul Kaminski
Editor - Mike Cotton
Group Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.99

Another random "from the pile" pick... from the future! I'm not sure if it's sad how excited I am to be adding "2017" to the tags... okay, I'm sure it is sad... I'm not sure just how sad.

--

We open with a blustery father lambasting a Superman-Super-Watcher helicopter tour guide due to the fact that while his family partook in a flight... the Man of Steel was a no-show. He reels back and is just about to strike the poor pilot when... Superman and Zade bust into the scene... destroying the helicopter... though missing the goofball dad. The battle rages, destroying property all along the way... we get to see that... *sigh* Jon is looking on. Gotta say... I can't wait for Super Sons to launch, maybe then this can go back to being just a Superman book.

Meanwhile, on a nearby roof Lex Luthor kneels before L'Call the Godslayer. Ya see, L'Call is there to slay ol' Lex... unfortunately for him, however, Lex is armed to the teeth with awesome tech. After blowing L'Call away, Lois and nu-Clark enter the scene in search of a story.

We rejoin Superman as his battle with Zade rages on. Zade gets the better of it when Superman is distracted by nu-Clark's use of his signal watch. He uses his x-ray vision to see that Lois and Clark are in trouble. Before Zade can land a "killing" blow, *sigh* Jon crashes the scene by hitting the baddie with a semi tractor.

Superman and Superboy head off to the roof, but father (thankfully) tells son to hang back. Once he arrives, Superman is... stabbed (!) in the shoulder by one of L'Call's blades. L'Call tells Superman his plans for Luthor... even going as far as to show him a glimpse of Darkseid-Lex's future. This is moving into the old "Would you kill Hitler in the crib?" dilemma.

While this is going down, Lois catches a glimpse of Jon on a nearby building... and nu-Clark catches a glimpse of Lois talking to the red-caped adolescent. Hmm... indeed.

Superman is not convinced and so L'Call calmly and rationally blasts him point-blank in the face. As Superman sit prone, L'Call readies to decapitate him... until... *sigh* Jon pleads with him to back off... and he does.

Instead of killing Superman, L'Call and Zade decide just to just leave... with Lex. Superman tries to stop them, but it's too late. Nu-Clark approaches Superman and plays devil's advocate... if Lex is destined to become a mass-murderer... why not just let him die? Hmm... that's not the Clark Kent I know.

--

I really wanted to like this more than I did. I'm not sure if we're killing time... but it kind of feels like we are. It may be just that I really dislike Lex wearing the "S". Hell, I dislike it that just so many people are wearing the "S" at the moment... but Lex? I mean, it was cute at first... I guess... but by now it just feels like it's gone on for too long without any real progression. It's as though we're being told "Look at Lex... he is important" but he hasn't really done anything yet. By this point we're six months into Rebirth... we/I really want this to move along.

We get the whole "would you kill Hitler in the crib?" thing... which, I suppose is a decent enough way for us to learn that nu-Clark has some different values than the original. That I can dig. I'm really not sure where the vestigial-Clark storyline is headed... but again, I'm really anxious to get down to it... and move it into the rear-view. I guess I'm just looking forward to having all the lumps ironed out. It's difficult for me to give this a fair/balanced review... because with Superman I kinda wear my biases on my sleeve.

Anyhoo... not overly interested in the Trial of Lex Luthor... and as much as it pains me to say... I just really want Superman stories again. I'm getting tired of other-supers... I'm getting tired of Jon... I just want some fun stories again. Granted... this is just one fool's opinion. Don't have any complaints about the dialogue... some good stuff there... and the art... ooh boy, the art. This is some wonderfully pretty comics. I'm not sure I'd want Kirkham on the title full-time, but I do enjoy him popping in from time to time. I kinda dig the cover too... I swear it's an homage... but I can't put my finger on it.

Overall... like I said, looking forward to putting this in the rear-view. I'm hopeful that once it's all behind us we'll start getting some great fun Superman stories. I mean, it's Dan Jurgens... the definitive Superman writer of my lifetime... I've got faith that this will return to form.

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