All-Star Squadron #7 (March, 1982)
"Carnage for Christmas!"
Writer - Roy Thomas
Penciller - Adrian Gonzales
Inker - Jerry Ordway
Letterer - John Costanza
Colorist - Carl Gafford
Editor - Len Wein
Cover Price: $0.60
Oof, must'a left them chestnuts roasting too long on the open fire... it's 114° today in fair Phoenix! If this keeps up, people are gonna start calling me the "Christmas sweater" rather than this ugly awesome thing...
Today we're going to stick with our Christmas on Infinite Earths... in July! special, and discuss an issue that barely even mentions that it's the most won-der-ful time of the year... mostly because it was during World War II, and that might've been a bit more important.
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We open on December 22, 1941 with the news that the Justice Society of America has decided to disband! They have stepped down from their superhero roles to actually enlist in the United States Armed Forces! A pair of trenchcoated figures walk down the street, bumping into a Private Pratt, before heading down an alley where they are stood before a poster for the film Nazi Agent (an actual 1942 film starring Conrad Veidt). They give the ol' Hitlerian salute and the brick wall rises.
Inside the tall fella sheds his trenchcoat revealing himself to be Baron Blitzkrieg! His diminutive associate is Major Zwerg. The pair are greeted by s'more Nazis... with "heils", reminding me of that Jerry Seinfeld bit where he jokes about the different kind of "heils" between Nazi officers, with the casual one being a "heil'ya doin'?" Anyhoo, they are there to watch a film... in it, British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill arrives in the United States to meet with President Franklin Roosevelt. When they shake hands... they explode! Well, hell... it turns out these are robots, naturally... and perhaps not as convincing as they need to be. At this point, FDR had been stricken with Polio and was in a wheelchair most of the time. In public, he would be on a cane and have a person to support him... none of this is depicted in robo-Roosevelt. This film, I should mention, is to be sent out to Berlin to be shown as evidence of the death of Allied leadership... but the plan is to abduct them and put them before Der Fuhrer himself.
We shift scenes to President Roosevelt reading a copy of LIFE Magazine, when he is visited be Private Pratt... well, the Atom that is. The LIFE magazine features a cover story about the JSA's disbandment and, I can't quite make out the back cover ad, but I'm going to assume it's legit. Roosevelt's dog Fala is sitting on his lap, another neat nod to actual history. A note in the letters page states that Fala was the most photographed pooch in the world at this point.
The two catch up, discussing events that occurred in a Blue Ribbon Digest where Pratt had saved Roosevelt's life, jumping in front of a Valkyrie blast. I'm guessing it was here where many members of the Society decide to enlist. FDR asks the Atom how the new recruits are doing, and he goes down the roster... he is a Tank-Corpsman, Hawkman is a "Dodo" in the Air Force, Sandman is Anti-Aircraft, Dr. Fate is a Paratrooper, Dr. Mid-Nite is a Captain in the Med-Corps, Starman is in flight training, and Johnny Thunder (oof) is in the Navy.
In the next room, the President has assembled members of the All-Star Squadron. He has received word that there is a "plot afoot" to kill PM Churchill when he arrives stateside. The All-Stars are quick to offer up their services as security detail for the British Destroyer battleship, Duke of Earl. It's pretty cute seeing the heroes literally sprinting down the hallways to head out.
We rejoin the heroes later that day. Hawkgirl, Liberty Belle, and Shining Knight are on U-Boat watch over the Atlantic, Firebrand and Johnny Quick are on the roads (of note, Johnny hands Firebrand a Christmas gift... to hold on to for Liberty Belle... cold-burn). Meanwhile at the Navy yard, Robotman and the Atom are admiring... or lamenting, the (ominous) heavy fog that has drifted in.
Time passes, and the Destroyer finally appears. It looks as though it will safely dock at the Naval yard when.... Bhh-kooom! It's nailed by a torpedo (which I typed as tornado... backspaced... and retyped as tornado)! Atom and Robotman board the boat... but take on a barrage of blasts from the befuddled Brits. They are able to convince them of their credentials and go about starting their rescue.
Robotman scans the seas, and locates a U-Boat. Turns out the sub was equipped with an attachment that caused the foggy sea air, affecting visibility all around. He throws a thick cable to Shining Knight to try and capture the sub. Liberty Belle catches it and takes a dive in the freezing cold late-December water. She wraps the U-Boat up, after which, Hawkgirl plucks her from the sea. Robotman sets to yanking the German's outta the drink with some good ol' American brute strength... and a winch.
Meanwhile on board the Destroyer, Baron Blitzkrieg (feels like we haven't seen him in months!) is visiting with Winston Churchill.
On the beach, Robotman has nyoinked the U-Boat ashore. The Atom asks that the military stand down to entice the Germans into exiting their craft. They do, they do too, and we get ourselves a bit of a battle, which ends just about as quickly as it begins with the All-Stars victorious.
We later join Baron Blitzkrieg and Major Vatziisface as they are sending the Churchill-bot to meet with President Roosevelt. Hmm... okay, perhaps Der Fuhrer only wants private audience with Churchill then. Anyhoo, Liberty Belle and Johnny Quick are present, and note that Churchill isn't acting quite himself... he doesn't recognize them, for one... for another, his stogie ain't lit. Anyhoo, he trudges up to the Prez, extends his hand, and... BOOM! Just like in the movie. When the dust settles, however, it turns out that "FDR" was really Plastic Man!
Thinking their work is done, the Baron and his puny pal drive away. Luckily, the rest of the All-Stars are present to slow his escape. The Baron wallops Robotman with a right, then attempts to fly away with Churchill in tow. Shining Knight gives chase, and the Baron, knowing he can't flee as fast with the added-Winston weight, drops the PM into Hawkgirl's waiting arms. In the distraction the miniscule Major escaped as well.
Our story ends December 24th, 1941 at the White House where Churchill and Roosevelt meet in friendship. The All-Stars are present for the traditional lighting of the White House Christmas Tree (oh yeah, this is a Christmas issue!) and to hear Winston Churchill's (actual) stirring speech on the White House lawn.
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As much as I love this series, it's always such a daunting task to go through and synopsize it. It feels like I'm doing it a disservice (and I'm sure I am, in more ways than one). These issues are jam-packed with story, sidebars, actual United States/World history... just so densely written that I almost need a rest break after finishing one! I've said it before, will again, and will now... Roy Thomas doesn't mess around when it comes to making everything fit. Fiction/non-fiction/historical (pop)culture/continuity... everything works here! What's not in the story... is included as a footnote in the letters page for chrissakes! He does such an amazing job of capturing the gestalt but not being a complete slave to it, it's clear that this series (and his eventual "corner" of the DC Universe) is a labor of love... and that makes following along all the more engaging.
With that said... and, this is going to sound pretty hypocritical, but... I love how Thomas is weaving real-world history into this story. Yeah, I'm a guy who hates when a sitting President is used in comics, or when comics are politically motivated... but this just feels perfect! Perhaps it's the passage of time... maybe it's the fact that I wasn't even born until nearly a half-century after this went down... I suppose stories of Franklin Roosevelt, Adolf Hitler and World War II are just so far from anything I can wrap my head around that I can mentally allow comics to "use" history here. Maybe it's that such names feel so important and legendary, that they belong in comic books? Who knows?
The issue itself, it's a really good time. I appreciate being given the Atom as sort of a touchstone/POV character, as these All-Stars, while not totally unfamiliar to me, are less-so than JSA members. I'm still very much "meeting" these folks... as many "back in the day" readers would be too, as this is only the seventh issue of the book. I wasn't entirely clear on the purpose of the robo-Roosevelt/robo-Winston bits... I thought Blitzkrieg was trying to abduct both men, but it appears as though Der Fuhrer's personal beef was with Winnie at this point. At least I think that's how it was meant to go? Churchill gets captured, Roosevelt goes boom?
Speaking of clarity... here's one that I've always had a sorta nebulous understanding of. The Spear of Destiny... is that a thing at this point? Does that stop all supers from getting into Germany and keeping their wits, or just the "biggies" like Superman and the Spectre? Seems strange that several super-types would enlist in the military if it would be impossible for them to enter into battle. I'm likely misunderstanding it.
The Christmas bits, are brief but powerful. The use of actual language used in Churchill's Christmas Eve address was excellent. His message of separating, for one day, the present crisis from feelings of familial love is... again, powerful. The presence of mystery men in the background really doesn't distract from what's truly important.
Overall, another wonderful issue of All-Star Squadron... one I'd most definitely recommend. I warn you that it's dense... it's certainly not passive (or quick) reading. If you're more accustomed to comics of today, you might want to pack a lunch! Available digitally and (if you're cool with black and white) as part of SHOWCASE Presents All-Star Squadron.
That's all for today... tomorrow's piece won't be Christmasy, but will be in celebration of a movie that I'm not going to see, when we discuss a certain caped crusader meeting a certain wall-crawler! I never was good at giving hints...
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Outsiders #5 (March, 1986)
"A Christmas Carol -- 1985"
Writer/Editor/Co-Creator - Mike W. Barr
Artist/Co-Creator - Jim Aparo
Backup Artist - Trevor Von Eeden
Colorist - Adrienne Roy
Letterer - John E. Workman
Cover Price: $1.50
With the Fourth of July out of the way, we get to dive into one of my favorite, er "features" here at the humble blog, Christmas on Infinite Earths... in July! Even though the Phoenix five-day forecast reads...
... we're still gonna retrieve that jug of eggnog we've been keeping in the freezer and don our gaudy sweaters to celebrate the... uh, season over about a week this month... just, probably not all in a row... I don't wanna burn you/me/us out on the concept, plus we do have that Spidey-Special this Friday.
I think I can say this is a tradition since we also did this last year. Twice makes tradition, right? Well, we're also going to keep another tradition going, and that's starting Christmas conversation with coverage of... the Outsiders! Boy did they get a bunch of Christmas issues!
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We open on a flashback. We learn a bit about a pair of accountants named Mudge and Morley. These two shared a firm, and from the looks of it, a very strong friendship... however, one kept a very important secret. Ya see, Mr. Morley was quite ill. Rather than risk bankrupting their office to keep him alive, he just kept it to himself. While they two were together they were visited by the corrupt Mr. Sinclair who time and again, wanted to procure their services... they declined each time. However, following the untimely passing of his partner, Mr. Mudge would finally come around to the idea. In the present, we join the Outsiders at their base... the topic of the day is, well, Mr. Tommy Sinclair... the corrupt ganglord! In doing their research, the team figures one angle they might be able to use is Sinclair's personal accountant, Mr. Eben Mudge.
Speak of the devil, we shift scenes to a young couple heading up the drive of a giant mansion. This is Dan and Janice, the former is the nephew of Eben Mudge. Their visit goes less than swimmingly... they try and give him a Christmas present, but he's all "bah humbug". If the title didn't already tip us off, I think we've got a pretty good idea where this is headed.
We rejoin Halo and Katana at home where they are in the midst of decking the halls. The perspective in this panel looks a bit weird... either Katana is super-tiny, or their living room is the size of a school lunch room. Gaby ain't quite feeling the spirit, and at Tatsu's suggestion, leaves to practice her flute.
Our next stop is Looker's. There's a knock at her door... it's the postman with a package for her... well, for her alter ego, anyway. She opens it, revealing a note from mousy-Emily's boyfriend, Greg... and a pretty modest looking dress. She sobs.
From here, we shift to the evening where the Outsiders are gathered outside Eben Mudge's mansion so they can enact their plan. Black Lightning grips the electrified fence, overloading it and causing a blackout so the team can gain access to the grounds. When they reach the window to Mudge's study... okay, this is where it gets weird... first, Looker sends a note (written in Morley's handwriting) into a book on his desk.
Then... then... as Mudge heads to his bookshelf, Katana spits a sleeping pill into his drink!
Eben returns to his desk with the copy of A Christmas Carol given to him by his old partner... takes a swig of his drugged drink... and starts to doze.
The Outsiders enter the study, and get to work concocting "act one" of their grand plan. Looker works her mojo on the man, and when his eyes open he sees... his old partner, Harold Morley! It's actually Geo-Force in a mask and chains (a la Jacob Marley... oh, now I get it! And, Mudge's first name is Eben...eezer, d'oh!), surrounded by swirls of Metamorpho gas.
He does the whole "you'll be visited by three ghosts" thing. The first of which is portrayed by Halo. She takes Mudge "back to the past", where he witnesses his younger self being dumped by the love of his life due to his greed and selfishness following the death of Mr. Morley. This is all a Looker-illusion, by the way, which kinda begs the question... if she's got such great power, why are the rest of the Outsiders even needed? Halo sees what pain this is causing the older Eben, and questions their methods... it does seem a bit cruel to put the poor guy through this, don't it? I mean, he may be a crotchety old jerk, but... I dunno.
Next up is the Ghost of Christmas Present, portrayed by Metamorpho in a robe. After greeting poor ol' Eben, he transforms into a sleigh and delivers him to the home of his nephew Dan and his pregnant wife Janice. They discuss how there are things more important than money, yadda yadda yadda.
From here, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come arrives... it's Black Lightning in a cloak. He silently brings him forward in time to his own retirement party. A party where his employer Mr. Sinclair gives him the gift of... well, perforation. Being of no further use, he's shot full'a holes.
Well, since Eben isn't, ya know... evil, this is all it takes for him to change his ways. After he's returned to his home, he runs to his study to call the police and spill the beans on Mr. Sinclair. As luck would have it, Sinclair chooses right this moment to pay his accountant a visit.
Upon learning that his confidant is calling the cops, he barges in with his goon squad. Luckily the Outsiders are still lingering about, and make short work of the baddies. Mr. Sinclair is indicted.
We close out with Mr. Mudge deciding maybe Christmas ain't all that bad as he celebrates with his nephew and niece-in-law (is that even a thing?). In case you were wondering, the gift they gave him earlier was a gown. Back with the Outsiders, Halo has rediscovered her Christmas spirit as well, and has flown off with her bell and "ski cap" which looks more like a Santa hat.
Our back-up strip features Black Lightning and Katana attempting to do a bit of Christmas shopping for Jefferson's ex-wife, Lynn. At that moment, we see a shaky man entering the employee's entrance of the department store holding a Santa Claus outfit. It appears as though he's being forced into the situation by a creep holding his son hostage.
Jeff's having some trouble deciding whether to buy a cheap piece of lingerie or a cheap piece of jewelry. The salesman acts like a bit of a jerk when he asks to see something from the "budget collection". Elsewhere the shaky man suits up and heads into the security office... where he kayos a guard with a bottle before turning off the power.
With the power to the security system out, a goon squad runs in to rob the place. Tatsu and Jeff head into the dressing rooms to suit up.
What follows is a couple pages of Black Lightning and Katana wrecking the fools. The Shaky-Santa approaches Katana to let her know about his son being held outside.
They take care of the creep in the car... we get a father-son reunion, and everything ends happily ever after... well, except for the fact that Jeff still has to pick out a gift for his ex.
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Welp... not my favorite issue of the Outsiders. A pair of pretty uninspired Christmas romps... neither of which really did anything for me.
The whole first story felt, I dunno, unnecessary. It's established pretty early on that Looker's powers would be all they would need to put poor ol' Mudge through his hallucinatory yuletide tour. Not sure why the rest of the Outsiders would even need to be present.
Also, drugging the old man's drink? That doesn't seem very heroic, does it? I mean, the Outsiders really walked the ethical tightrope here... just for some information, which I'm not even sure would be admissible. I guess it's lucky ol' Eben ultimately decided to spill every last bean to the police.
Some of my favorite soap-operatic Outsiders storytelling methods are used here. Little asides and vignettes are always welcome in this book. We get that brief scene with Looker where she receives a gift from her lover... I enjoy things like that. Hell, our entire back-up strip is basically an aside-vignette.
Also, as much as I hate to say it... the art here felt very rushed. I know that these early Baxter books weren't the kindest to art... giving a "flat" and lifeless look that wasn't present on newsprint... but this definitely isn't up to our usual Aparo standard. The cover, however, is pretty excellent.
Speaking of the Baxter books... and this has no bearing on the story... but, I've never come across a copy of this issue "in the wild" that didn't have some "spinal damage"... that is to say, the cover is splitting a bit at the staples. Every single copy I find is in various states of coming apart. It's just this issue too... every other issue of Outsiders (and other Baxters) are just fine! So weird. Wonder if it's just my neck of the woods, or if others have the same experience.
The back-up strip was... eh. Not great but also not terrible. I always enjoy Trevor Von Eeden, so his work here was definitely appreciated. The story though? I think "eh" covers it.
Overall, this is a tough one to recommend. It's one of the few issues of (Batman and the) Outsiders that I walk away from feeling unsatisfied. As always though, your mileage may vary.
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Freedom Fighters #3 (August, 1976)
Story - Martin Pasko
Penciller - Ramona Fradon
Inker - Juan Canale
Colorist - Liz Berube
Editor - Gerry Conway
Cover Price: $0.30
Well hey, it's the Fourth of July! Happy Birthday America!
Now, last year we were able to sidestep the whole patriotic angle by discussing, er, a Marvel Comics mutant with powers not unlike fireworks... but this time around we're gonna go full red, white and blue.
I ask ya, what better way to celebrate the United States of America than by checking out an issue of Freedom Fighters? Well, howsabout the DC Comics Bicentennial Month issue of Freedom Fighters?
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We open with the heroes holed up in a deserted mansion. The police have them surrounded and consider them fugitives from the law... we'll get there. Inside, the Freedom Fighters decide their best course of action to escape the police is... er, escaping the police. Good call, folks! The Ray hurls some light blobs at the police spotlight, and they get away. After they're gone, an officer notices that District Attorney Pearson is there... and the D.A. is to blame for "those freaks" being there. Weird, I thought the FF were on DC Earth (one) right now... why not call in some other super-types to take them down?
Well, let's not worry about that... instead, let's head to the suburbs and meet Arthur T. Sommar, doting father and homicidal husband. If I had to guess, I'd say his name is some sort of anagram... it's just too weird. A quick anagram check reveals things like Ham Tart Rumors, Harm Rat Tumors, Ram Roast Thrum, and Smart Art Humor... it's, er... probably one of those, right? The issue thankfully informs us that his friends call him "Ted"... presumably his middle name? Eh? Who knows...
Let's turn the page and meet Mrs. Tart Rumors, who is doing the dishes while humming some grindstep beat box. This upsets Ted... so, he creeps up behind her, and bashes her head in with his briefcase! Must'a been a Halliburton.
We rejoin the Freedom Fighters, who are now hiding out in an abandoned loft. Uncle Sam questions why they ever left Earth-X... which, I dunno... seems like a silly question. Gotta figure "our" Earth might be a little bit better than one under Hitler's Reich, right? Phantom Lady suggests they just keep their cool and put their heroic alter-egos on the shelf for a bit. Doll Man's all "not so fast", and (somehow) produces WANTED posters for each member of the FF... in and out of costume! Ya see, they spilled all the beans to that District Attorney Pearson when they arrived on Earth-1.
While the team frets, Ray is busy turning scraps of metal garbage into a power transfusion machine. He has a plan which involves he and Phantom Lady use the machine to mix their powers... Happy (Ray) can absorb light, and Sandy (Phantom Lady) can, well, become a phantom. With their powers combined, they can cloak the entire team in invisibility. Suuuure, stands to reason... I guess. A-hem.
As luck would have it, just as our pals go transparent, some balaclava-clad roller skate-wearing goofballs are robbing a... sporting goods store? The Freedom Fighters easily take down the geeks... because, ya know, a) they're invisible and b) c'mon look at these bad guys. As the fight winds down, we are joined by our suburban psychopath, Ted!
At this point we shift to some Qwardian observers... they are able to see through the Freedom Fighters' invisibility trick. They are displeased to see these colorful creeps spoiling the fun of the "noble thieves", and decide to even the odds by providing them with a "Straser" (strafing laser unit to us plebs). They blast ol' Ted with a beam... which leaves him covered in, I dunno goo, or perhaps frost... anyhoo, he transforms into (the iconic) Skragg, the Super-Sniper!
Skragg plugs his arm stumps in and flies upward on his goblin-glider where he begins decimating the New York City skyline. Nearby, Uncle Sam thinks the boomings might be the result of his partner, the Human Bomb... but, nope!
The Freedom Fighters head back out to take down this new threat... and do so, pretty easily. Worth mentioning (I guess) that Phantom Lady has vanished (pun!), as has Doll Man. The remaining Fighters just write them off as being elsewhere together. During the fight, however, Doll Man is not only present but instrumental in Skragg's defeat.
After being taken into custody, Skragg seems to waver between his Qwardian-effected persona, and his normal (homicidal?) one. He freaks out that he no longer has hands... which, yeah... that sounds like something that would happen. Uncle Sam proceeds to... read him his Miranda rights, welp, wasn't expecting that. Skragg says he knows his rights, because ol' Ted's a lawyer. He requests his phone call... and it's granted. We get a neat panel of him dialing a phone with his wrist-turrets, before he is taken over by psychopathy.
Skragg starts blasting with his wrist-blasters, and the fight is back on. It's just another fight... the only thing worth mentioning is Black Condor and Uncle Sam procuring a billboard with a... weird slogan on it.
The fight ends with Skragg hanging on to the side of a skyscraper. He begs the FF for help, and Ray attempts to lend a hand... unfortunately, during the act his hand goes all "phantomy", a residual effect of the earlier power transfusion. Skragg falls, presumably to his death. After all, it's been over forty years, and we haven't seen him since. Maybe he's still falling?
The issue ends with the gang back at their hideout, listlessly looking at their WANTED posters and wondering what their place in this world is. Oh yeah, Phantom Lady also returns... having been buried under rubble for the second half of the issue, and had to dig herself out. Now, who ever said chivalry is dead?
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Well... that sure was an issue of Freedom Fighters. It wasn't bad or anything... just kinda boring. It looked nice though!
Really not a whole lot to say about this one. I could ask why the police didn't call in any of DC's heroes to try and take down the Fugitive Freedom Fighters, but the next issue blurb promises that Wonder Woman's going to show up... so, perhaps after this mix-up, they do?
I wonder why so much went into Arthur/Ted's backstory. I mean, if the Qwardians were just going to transform a random passerby into Skragg, why did we need to know that dude is homicidal? Why did we need the scene of him bludgeoning his wife to death? Seems like they might've had bigger plans for ol' Mr. Sommar... hell, even the cover copy tells us we've never seen a villain as deadly as he is! Weird.
The members of the Freedom Fighters don't come across as terribly engaging... though, to be fair, this really wasn't a character spotlight sort of issue. I think I can say that Uncle Sam's a pretty annoying character though. All those tarnations and consarnits... and wanting to go back to Earth-X... ay yai yai. That's something I can't wrap my head around... ya gotta figure most any Earth would be better than Earth-X, right?
Overall, to wrap up... this is an issue that sorta feels like filler... it's not stunningly great or painfully awful... it just "is". Ramona Fradon's art is wonderful, her faces look pretty amazing. Not an issue I'd tell ya to rush out and find... or avoid if you come across it. It's books like this that are the hardest to discuss... just so middle-of-the-road, safe and inoffensive.
Anyhoo, I hope y'all have a great day of barbecues, family and fireworks. Tomorrow's forecast is... brr, chilly.
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