Thursday, September 21, 2017

Detective Comics #627 (1991)


Detective Comics #627 (March, 1991)
"The Case of the Chemical Syndicate"
"The Cry of Night is-- 'Kill!'"
"The Case of the Chemical Syndicate"
"The Case of the Chemical Syndicate"
Writers - Bill Finger, Mike Friedrich, Marv Wolfman & Alan Grant
Pencillers - Bob Kane, Bob Brown, Jim Aparo & Norm Breyfogle
Inkers - Bob Kane, Joe Giella, Mike DeCarlo & Steve Mitchell
Colorist - Adrienne Roy
Letterera - John Costanza & Todd Klein
Assistant Editor - Kelley Puckett
Editor - Denny O'Neil
Cover Price: $2.95

Heyyy, it's DAY SIX-HUNDRED!

Whenever I get to one of these milestone posts, I worry about what book to cover.  I mean, should I play it cool, like it's no biggie and just look at any random thing?  Should I be clever and cover a book from the Milestone imprint?  Or... should I go "all-out" and cover something over-large and monumental?

It's usually gonna be that last one.  Today we're going to discuss Batman's six-hundredth issue of Detective Comics, which is special for a number of reasons.  Not just is it for the "milestone" aspect... but it's for its inclusion of the very first Bat-Man story.  Given my reviewer-rules this is almost certainly the only way we'll ever discuss that story here... so I'm pretty psyched!

This is gonna be a long one... so, I'll end this pre-ramble here.  My normal milestone mushiness will follow the "review" portion.

--


Our first story is... heyyy, the first story!  Young Socialite Bruce Wayne is visiting with his friend Police Commissioner Gordon.  Their cigar-and-pipe appreciation society is interrupted by a phone call.  It turns out that Lambert, the Chemical King was murdered... stabbed to death!  The most likely suspect is... Lambert's son, Young Lambert!  Gordon invites Mr. Wayne along to lookie-loo.


The young fella swears he didn't do it.  When he arrived home he found his father, stabbed... and his safe open!  Old Master Lambert's final words were about a contract.  When asked if Lambert had any enemies, Young Lambert offers up his three former business partners, Steven Crane, Paul Rogers, and Alfred Stryker.  The questioning session is interrupted by another phone call.  Hey, it's Steve Crane who needed to talk with Lambert... and now needs to speak to the Commish.  At this point a bored Bruce Wayne informs Gordon that he'll be retiring for the evening.


At that very moment, Steve Crane is attacked... and shot in his home.  A pair of murderers/crooks attempt to flee with the contract they had stolen.  Unfortunately for them... they run into the Batman... er, make that the Bat hyphen Man.  Commissioner Gordon arrives a few moments too late, and learns of Crane's passing from the butler.  That's two of the four business-partners toes up!


Batman reads the recovered contract, and figures it all out.  Meanwhile, Paul Rogers learns of the spree and heads over to visit with Stryker.  Instead of Stryker, he gets his assistant Mr. Jennings.  After inviting Rogers inside, Jennings wallops him with... I dunno, a blackjack?  Afterward, he brings him to a... gas chamber!  Ay yai yai.  Luckily, Bat-Man arrives... stuffs a hankie in the gas jets... and busts the dome with a wrench.


With Rogers saved, Bat-Man spears Jennings and pounds him down.  Stryker arrives, and Rogers tells him what his assistant just tried to do.  After feigning concern, Stryker decides to try and "finish the job".  Unfortunately for him... Bat-Man is still there!


Bat-Man explains that Stryker was in arrears to the other three partners... and figured if he offed 'em all, he could have full control and zero debt.  Stryker attempts to push Bat-Man, and winds up being socked into a tank of acid.  Well, let the punishment fit the crime!


The story ends with Bruce Wayne and Commissioner Gordon having a pow-wow.  Wayne returns home... and holy cow, we learn that he is in fact... the Bat-Man!


Our second story is... a 30th Anniversary tribute to the story we just read!  Batman and Robin are swinging through Gotham... and at that very moment, Commissioner Gordon is at a crime scene questioning a young man about the murder of his father.


The is young Mel Lambert, son of Atomic Chemist old (and currently dead) Mel Lambert.  He is the top suspect in the murder... and he's not terribly pleased by that.  Batman and Robin arrive... and we learn that Batman listens to Janis Joplin.  Howboutdat?


Turns out that the Lamberts didn't always see eye-to-eye.  Young Mel is a counter-culture sort, who doesn't dig the system maaaaan.  Batman notes that Mel arrived via motorcycle... and asks if he wore his gloves when he came in.  He compares traces on the gloves with the murder weapon... a fireplace poker, and deduces there is no match... and no way to prove that young Mel offed his pop.  He also uncovers a hidden doorway behind a bookcase... positing that it was likely the real murderer's escape route.


Robin is really displeased by all of this... he seems to really have it in for young Mel.  The Dynamic Duo head back to the Batcave to run some data.  They discover that Lambert was part of a Scientific Syndicate... alongside a Steven Crane, Paul Rogers, and Alfred Stryker.  They suit up and visit the lab speaking to Mr. Crane, who points back to young Mel as the murderer citing a very heated argument between he and his father in the days leading up.


After the questioning, Batman and Robin prepare to leave.  Once they hit the street they hear a gunshot from Crane's office.  They rush back in just in time to see a floppy-haired silhouette holding a contract escaping through the window.


Robin flings a batarang and retrieves the docs, but the baddie gets away.  He is positive that it was Mel while Batman still isn't so convinced.  After all, what would Mel want with Crane's research data?


We shift over to Paul Rogers who is about to visit Alfred Stryker to warn him about Young Lambert.  Once inside, he gets konked with the butt of a pistol.  When he comes to, he sees his old partner Stryker standing alongside that floppy-haired murderer... but playing it off like he's being held hostage.  At this point, Batman and Robin burst onto the scene.


Before floppy-hair can unload his gun, Robin chop-blocks him at the ankles... while giving Batman perhaps his crappiest nickname yet!


Robin pulls the floppy-haired dude's mask off revealing a creepy little mustache... it wasn't Mel Lambert after all!  Batman was right... again.  Stryker reveals that... a-ha, he was behind the entire thing!  He wanted all of the data for himself so he could cash-in.  We wrap up with Robin questioning his instincts... knowing he's got some very hea-vy thinking to do, maaaaaaaan.


Story the third opens with a Iranian Cabbie complaining about his lot in life to his current fare.  Back home he was a teacher... while here, all he can do is drive taxi.  He doesn't much matter to the story... just "flavor" I guess.  Anyhoo, he sees a strange haz-mat suit wearing individual standing in the street.  It's gun is drawn... and it blasts toxic waste into the cab!


The Iranian believes he was the creep's target... because, he's Iranian.  Turns out, it was his fare that was the quarry!  The toxic blast causes the cab to meld to the victim.  A Detective Hanrahan arrives on the scene... Commissioner Gordon is out, having recently suffered a heart attack.


Batman arrives on the scene to check things out.  We learn that the dead man was Vice President of CLRS Chemical, Theodore Lambert!  We also learn that Theodore's son "Ted", was recently protesting his father's company.  Batman decides to use his Bruce Wayne connections to hang out with Ted and see if he can connect any dots.


While the pair play tennis, Hanrahan arrives to deliver the news... and make accusations. Ted is horrified that his father is dead... and while he hated the chemical company, he definitely loved his dad.  Hanrahan continues to push, until Wayne tells her to back-off.  While this is going down, Steven Crane is holding a press conference.


His speech is interrupted by the arrival of the baddie from before, now going by the clever name, Pesticyde!  They bust in on the assembly... and blast Crane (and a woman named Elaine... possibly a partner?) with goop... melting them both together.  Deciding that's not good enough, Pesticyde then unleashes da goop into the crowd... we get a close-up revealing Pesticyde to be a woman.


Moments later, Batman arrives and the two do battle.  Pesticyde keeps Batman on the defensive long enough to bore a tunnel into the ground to escape through.


At this point Hanrahan and the GCPD arrive... and she looks like she's going to be sick.  Later, back at the Gotham Police Station she and Batman compare notes.  It's here that we learn of Lambert and Crane's other two partners... Rogers and Stryker.


Hanrahan decides to first visit with Stryker... who really isn't up for questioning.  Ya see, he's been rendered somewhat vegetative, and has been that way for two years now.  His maid, Mrs. Watkins wheels him in to show the detective.  After the officers leave, Stryker's daughter... a healthy-looking young lady named Prisillla takes her father...


... to a secret lab in the basement where he used to do his chemical research.  She recounts the story that led to his being in his current state.  While the partners were preparing to dump the waste, some of it splashed onto him.  Ever since, Prisilla has planned to see to it that they pay.


Batman runs some data back at the cave... he states that ever since Stryker's crippling accident, there had been a power struggle in the company... and seems to have a lead on what's about to go down.  Meanwhile, Paul Rogers is talking to the police asking for security to be placed at his home.


His phone chat is interrupted by... Pesticyde!  She immediately unmasks revealing herself to be Paul's own Goddaughter, Prisilla!


She ties Rogers up and places him precariously atop a vat of bubbling acid.  Before she can trigger her trap, Batman arrives... and the two fight.


Batman is able to break away long enough to rescue Rogers.  The fight resumes with a face-off atop some bubblin' gunk... and Prisilla firing a blast of corrosive toxins.  It misses Batman, and cuts a hole in the bridge, which Prisilla falls through... to her death.


Our final Case of the Chemical Syndicate starts with a hobo drinking a bottle of Breyfogle's best while thinking to himself how Gotham has a disease.  We jump over to Gotham City Chem Co. where a sorta floppy-haired man is fleeing from a night guard... who sounds the alarm.


Commissioner Gordon and Batman both rush to the scene.  Inside the offices, the GCPD has the sorta floppy-haired kid cornered... there's an open safe and... oh yeah, there's also a dead body in there... any guesses on who that might be?  Okay, okay... you know it's Lambert, I know it's Lambert... it's Lambert.  And the kid?  Young Mel Lambert.


They question Mel as to why he'd been creeping around and he reveals that there had been a bit of a falling out between he and his father... neglecting the fact that he's carrying an entire brick of cocaine.  Batman nyoinks it out of the kid's pocket and gives it a lick.


Batman was smart to grab the coke... but sadly, he didn't nab the kids pistol along with it.  Mel holds up... the police, which oddly doesn't get him riddled with holes, but instead with a face-full of powder and a sock to da mush.  As Mel is loaded into the back of a cop car, Batman hints at Gordon that the kid didn't kill Professor Lambert.


They part company with Batman going to check in with Lambert's three partners.  We get another scene with the hobo... who can't seem to get any help from the police.  They think he's just an old drunk talking nonsense... and I'm not convinced they're wrong!  We shift over to Steven Crane's home... where he awaits the arrival of Commissioner Gordon.  There is a knock at the door... sadly, it ain't the Commish, instead it's a pair of nogoodniks!  Just as Batman arrives, poor Crane gets his brains blown out.


Batman bursts into the window and makes short work of the geeks.  He grabs the gun, and shoves it into one of their mouths looking for answers.  They reveal that they were behind the murder of Lambert as well... and were hired to do so by Paul Rogers who told to make it look like a a burglary.


We shift over to Rogers Chemical... which is one of the very few signs in this story that isn't an homage to a past creator (though, it could've been! Marshall Rogers gets his due as a Hotel owner earlier... below I'll list all of the creator homages).  Inside, Paul Rogers is being held at gunpoint by a man in the shadows (any guesses?).  He is being forced to write a confession note stating that he ordered the murders of both Lambert and Crane.


We get another scene with the hobo... he gets jumped by some gang-bangers, but Batman arrives in time to save him.  At the same time, Gordon and the gang arrive at Rogers Chem and find that Paul has hung himself... conveniently after giving a written confession.


Batman arrives and Gordon gives him the skinny.  Batman sees this as being a tad too convenient, and ain't buying it.  He yells out for Alfred Stryker to show himself... and wouldn'tcha know it, a few gunshots ring out from behind the big ol' chemical vats!


Batman tosses a batarang which Stryker attempts to dodge.  Unfortunately for him, the railing he's leaning on is loose... and he falls into the corrosive gunk.  Batman fishes him out... well, his skeleton anyway... and for a moment, we're back in 1939!


The story (and this over-sized issue) ends with the hobo from earlier recounting a story about the "disease" Gotham has... and how the G.C. Chem. Co. has poisoned the city.


--

Well, that was one hell of a bite!  What a strange project this was... I've never seen anything quite like it, and it's a wonder it isn't attempted more often.  I mean, this is ostensibly the same four stories told in different contextual ways... and it was a lot of fun!  Granted, by the time we got to the fourth story it might've started to drag, but simply as an undertaking... this was really neat!

I really appreciated the inclusion of that first Bat-Man story... it definitely laid the groundwork for the rest of the book.  Also, I feel that placing it at the front of the book was for the best as well.  I know sometimes I'll read a contemporary comic that includes an ancient back-up that may be an earlier story featuring some of the characters/concepts from the "main" story... and I'll skip it!  By putting this in front, it worked so much better, and helped us to see the changes and "up to dating" the subsequent creators/stories made.

Let's discuss each one... in relatively brief.

The first story is... pretty matter of fact.  Beyond it being a hoot to be able to discuss the first appearance of Bat-Man, there isn't a whole lot to say about it.  I will say that it's interesting how the Bruce Wayne reveal is kept until the last panel.  I thought that was a lot of fun.  It has been... yeesh, probably twenty-five years since I last read this, as part of the Volume One of Batman DC Archives Edition, so it was really cool to revisit with a more... I dunno, maybe "analytical" eye.

The Friedrich story was pretty good, but might've gone a bit too far with Robin having it out for young Lambert.  I mean, after the first few times, I think we got the point.  I suppose that was to illustrate Batman's own coolness under pressure, and keeping a level-head when it comes to investigation.  Either way, it felt like a bit much.  Still enjoyable... and a nice update for the original story.

Marv Wolfman's story was probably my favorite of the four.  It felt less like going through the motions, and actually sought to add a neat twist to the tale that came before.  It was certainly the goriest of the stories included here... which, I could take or leave... but I definitely feel it was the most engaging.

The final story was more a love-letter to Batman, the character and creative forces behind him, than anything.  It was a very good reimagining of the original story, chock full of nods to the people who've breathed life into the character for (at that point) a little over a half-century.  The bits with the hobo were a bit out of place... and a few of the scenes did seem disjointed.  Gotta say, Breyfogle does a great homage to the Bat-Man who appeared in Detective Comics #27 though!  That was a wonderful bit at the end.

Overall, I had more fun with this issue than I thought I would.  Really dug the experiment here.  Wouldn't mind seeing this kind of thing happen again somewhere down the line.  Just such a neat idea to have the "hot creators" of the day try their hand at retelling a character's first story.  We ain't talkin' reboots here... just giving their spin and a nod to where everything started.  This issue is available digitally (and needless to say, the first story has been reprinted a whoooole lotta times).

Before I wrap up, it's time to get a bit mooshy.  Six-Hundred Daily Discussions may not be anything to really crow about... but to me it signifies actually "sticking with" something... which has always been one of my bigger challenges.  I've said it before... I never thought I'd go a week straight, much less the better part of two years!

I'm sincerely thankful for everyone who pops by... reaches out... shares some of these silly words that I write... really, without the engagement of the community, it's doubtful I would've stuck with this.  As always, I'm hesitant to name names for fear that I'll accidentally leave someone out... so, this is a blanket "thank you".

My main goals in starting this blog were to find the "Two F's"... (nonono, not fame and fortune...) fun and friends.  I'm proud to say I'm pretty sure I've found both!

Thank You!

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Homage Names (I think I got 'em all):

Mazzuchelli Chemicals ~ Englehart Signs, Inc. ~ Aparo Advertising ~ Breyfogle Red Table Wine ~ Kane Trucking ~ Chan's Costumes ~ Austin's Art Supply ~ Rogers Hotel ~ Sprang St. ~ Newton Wrestling Champ ~ Sale at Robbins ~ Wein Cola ~ Giordano's (Open Early) ~ Adams Ave. ~ Roy's ~ Kev's ~ O'Neil Books ~ Miller Road ~ Chemical Analysts by B. Brown ~ The Deal by Friedrich ~ Moldoff ~ Mooney ~ The Art of the Figure by Lopez ~ Neary ~ Burnley ~ Gulacy ~ Political Art by Robinson ~ Davis ~ McKean St. ~ Paris Supply ~ Bolland Art Pens ~ Finger Alley ~ Infantino's Gym

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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Justice League of America (vol.2) #1 (2006)


Justice League of America (vol.2) #1 (October, 2006)
"The Tornado's Path, Part One: Life"
Writer - Brad Meltzer
Penciller - Ed Benes
Inkers - Sandra Hope with Mariah Benes
Letterer - Rob Leigh
Colorist - Alex Sinclair
Assistant Editor - Jeanine Schaefer
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $3.99

I could'a sworn we already discussed this one!

--


We open at the Batcave where Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman are weighing their options for the next roll-call for the Justice League of America.  Batman appears to be keen on bringing Captain Marvel into the fold... however, Wonder Woman is a bit dubious.  She thinks he might only want the World's Mightiest Mortal because he sees him as easily controlled.  Batman's all "He's got the wisdom of Solomon" which gives Diana pause before making an "Oh, you." kinda face... and then telling him Nightwing's getting a "no" vote as well!


The question of Red Tornado is raised... but, he's dead... again.  This is either the sixth or seventh time, depending on who you ask.  The trinity figures he'll be back before long, usually within a day or two.  This takes us to Hoboken, New Jersey where Kathy Sutton sits beside the reassembled robotic Red Tornado "shell".  He still hasn't returned... and Will Magnus tells her she oughta go home for the night.


She kinda loses it... and tells him to back off.  She reminds him that Red Tornado isn't like one of his Metal Men... he has a soul and can't just be rebuilt.  Faux pas of faux pas, Kathy doesn't realize that Platinum is in the room with them.  Whoops!  Plat doesn't appear to take any offense... but instead wonders how Red Tornado was ever able to make a human love him.  Remember, she's got the hots for ol' Doc Will.  This brings us into a Ben Day-flavored flashback, where Kathy shares a story about "John Smith's" sense of humor.  Her tale is interrupted by a phone call from her daughter Traya... who wants to know when Daddy's coming home.


Little does she know, the entire scene is being observed by... Red Tornado himself!  Oh, and Deadman.  It appears that Reddy's got a crazy plan that will make this return a bit different than the others.


Back at the Cave, the Trinity peep out a few more photos.  First, Hal Jordan.  You'll never in a million years guess who's against his inclusion!  Next, Supergirl... Clark and Bruce are in agreement that she's not there yet.  Ya gotta remember, she was still really new to the scene (and unpredictable) at this point.  Next is "a" Flash.  It's a photo of Wally, sure... but all the Big Guns know is that they need someone who can run fast... could be Bart, hell... could be Jay.  Last one for this go-round, Power Girl.  She gets three thumbs up.


We shift scenes to Star City where Hal Jordan and Roy Harper are watching a boxing bout and talking about times past.  Roy razzes Hal about being an "old man", to which Hal suggests that he might actually be younger than Roy since his return.  Fair point!  Hal gets a ring-a-ling from Dinah, she tells him that Reddy hasn't returned yet.  Hal asks Roy if he's down for some "Hard Travellin'" and he's cool with it.


Next stop, Metropolis... where Black Lightning is talking with one of his informants.  He mentions that he spent time in Luthor's Presidential Cabinet (whoa, continuity!) and with his connections has created a sort-of underground information network.  This informant is the former Signalman, who spills the beans for cash so he can feed his "Psycho-Pirate" addiction.  He shares a story about Dr. Impossible... a man who claims to be Mr. Miracle's brother.


We rejoin Reddy and Deady at the morgue.  They are looking at the body of one of Multiplex's duplicates.  Turns out Multiplex died a few weeks earlier, however... someone forgot to tell his dupes!  Anyhoo... it's here we learn Tornado's plan, he doesn't want to return to his robot body, he wants to become flesh and blood!


Back to the cave, and another page o' Polaroids.  Mr. Terrific... Batman really wants him in the League, however, he's currently the chairman of the Justice Society.  Superman and Wonder Woman are adamant that he is currently off-limits.  The Atom... is a bit of a question mark at this point.  Vixen gets a "she's not ready"... they'd rather have Animal Man anyway, and finally Hawkman gets a split decision.


Speaking of Vixen... we join her at a Hub City bar, where she is trying to track down The Question.  The barkeep informs her that ol' Vic hasn't worked out of the Hub in over a year.  Mari's animal instincts kick in... she might've been led into a trap!


We rejoin Reddy and Deady again, and the flesh and blood transformation is underway... and it works!  Tornado can no longer hear Boston's voice... which pretty much tells him that he's back among the living.  Better yet, he still has his air elemental powers!


Smith puts on some clothes and prepares to head home.  Once he's gone, we learn that Deadman wasn't alone... Felix Faust was also lurking about, and had something to do with the resurrection.  He demands payment, and warns that "they" will not be pleased with Deadman's actions.


Back in Star City, Hal and Dinah arrive at Ollie's place.  With a resigned sigh, Ollie knows they're putting the band back together... and heads off to grab his bow.  That is, until they inform him that they're actually there for Roy.  Oooh, burn.


We hop into concurrent-vignette mode... intermittently getting scenes from Gotham, New York City, and Hoboken.  At the Batcave, the Trinity argue over potential recruits... in New York, the Traya is planning to make her Daddy's return special... and in Hoboken, Platinum and Gold are having a chat.  Suddenly, a sawblade flies through the room... and decapitates both Metal Men!


A figure enters the room, and walks over to the Red Tornado robot.  It's Doctor Impossible!


At Kathy Sutton's New York apartment, there's a knock at the door.  Traya answers it... and heyyyy, it's flesh and blood John Smith!


Before wrapping up the chapter, we get caught up on where everybody stands.  Black Lightning has all the information he needs... Hal, Roy and Dinah are on the road... Vixen is facing off with some shadowy folks... the Trinity still bicker... and finally, Doctor Impossible is ordered to "open" the Red Tornado suit up.


--

Man am I a sucker for these "sifting through photos" issues.

I don't think I've read this since it first hit the shelves... and it's aged really well.  This post-Infinite Crisis era of DC Comics was a strange animal.  Certain books felt so disengaged and, for lack of a better term, "nebulous", where others felt totally on point.  At this point I don't think we (or DC even) knew what was in continuity... what the timelines were... all that good stuff.  This issue doesn't really deal with any of that, and instead relies on character... which is, in my opinion, the right way to go.

While we're not drowning in continuity, there is still a feeling of history.  I mean, even if we just look at the scene between Hal and Roy... they have history, and we can see that they are "family".  That's the kinda thing I loved about the DC Universe... and it's exclusion was probably among the key reasons as to why The New-52! didn't manage to keep most folks' attention or interest.  I was also pleased there was a callback to President Luthor having been a thing.

Let's talk Red Tornado.  He was never really a character I thought all that much about.  To me, and I'd wager many, he was just DC's Vision... ya know, back before everybody was Vision's #1 fan.  He was always a nice "presence", and I appreciated him as a background character that could come through in a pinch... but never really took the time to consider his home life.  I knew the Traya connection from his time as Young Justice's "den father"... but never really stopped to reflect on it.

His desire to be of flesh and blood is an interesting wrinkle.  On one hand, he will be able to experience the same sensations as his family members, however on the other... he's probably giving up his soul-floating immortality.  It definitely raises the stakes, and that's a good thing.  We see here how glibly Batman talks about the "seven times" Reddy's "died" and come back.  It's just so matter of fact, that his "mortality" feels taken for granted.  Raising the stakes feels like a good move for the character.

We meet Dr. Impossible here... who might be Mr. Miracle's brother, orrrr, might just be one of the Penguin's flunkies who found a Father Box.  Either way, I dig his design and think he might be a fun baddie for a little while.

Speaking of design, really dig Ed Benes' work here.  I remember him getting some static for his work on Birds of Prey being too "cheesecake", but he really does have a wonderful style... and did a great job with expressions.  The inking starts off a bit rough and "gritty", but falls into place after the first few pages.

Overall, really good issue!  I usually give Brad Meltzer some (perhaps unfair) pithy remarks, largely due to what he did to the core DC Universe during Identity Crisis, but I can't deny that he's a really talented writer.  This over-sized issue kept me engaged and entertained the whole way through... well, until the half-dozen pages of his novel they crammed into the back-end of the book.  Not an indictment on the quality... just no interest in reading a few pages of a novel I'm not likely to buy.  The comics portion though... worth checking out!

Before we go... today's is the final post of the 500's.  Join me tomorrow as we celebrate our SIX-HUNDREDTH DAILY DISCUSSION!

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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Superman #702 (2010)


Superman #702 (October, 2010)
"Grounded, Part Two"
Writer - J. Michael Straczynski
Penciller - Eddy Barrows
Inker - J.P. Mayer
Colorist - Rod Reis
Letterer - John J. Hill
Assistant Editor - Wil Moss
Editor - Matt Idelson
Cover Price: $2.99

Sometimes I'm not sure what books I ought to review.  As luck would have it, I noticed an odd surge of traffic on my Superman #701 review yesterday... be those hits the result of spam-bots or humans, I dunno... and for this preamble, it doesn't really matter.

I decided to take a look at the review, and boy... it turns out I really didn't like that issue!  I only checked it out to see if my opinion had changed since 2010... and, it kinda did... for the worse!  I merely disliked it at first... this time, I actually hated it!

Anyhoo... all that to say, that odd bit of traffic inspired me to check out part two of Superman's walk across America.  Let's hit it and git it.

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Superman has arrived in Detroit... and after passing a neighborhood fella who doesn't even the brim of his cap when he walks by, he decides to school some fools on the basketball court.  The whole scene is written in such a way to make one wannabe baller "Markey G." look good in front of his pals.  Superman lets Markey swat the ball out of his hand... and his buddies do everything but hoist him up on their shoulders to celebrate.  Cartoony, but fun.  Probably the best scene of the arc so far!


He continues walking... and is attracted to a particular house by the sound of a strange humming.  He finds an evasive middle-aged man standing on the lawn.  Superman gets in his face and accuses him of perhaps having gills instead of lungs... then threatens to use his x-ray vision to look for himself.  The man invites Superman inside so he can explain.  Upon entry, he finds himself attacked by a big black warsuit!


Barrows continues with the heavy-lifting here... this scene looks really great.  Superman handily takes the warsuit down.


The man is joined by a few others, and they reveal themselves to be alien scientists from the delicious Nutella galaxy.  They fled to Earth to escape tyranny... which gives JMS the opportunity to make a pithy "illegal immigration" reference.  The Hazelnut and Cocoa clan compare themselves to Superman who was sent here from Krypton... and we begin to split hairs.  Superman says he came from a planet that was exploding... and the aliens say that death is preferable to tyranny.  Ay yai yai.


Superman asks what they can contribute to Earth... and they offer that, no kidding, they are good at finding lost pets.  Superman suggests they aim a bit higher... if they're planning on sticking around, they'd best get to making some real contributions to society.  Then he leaves... and tells the aliens that he hasn't decided what he's going "to do about" them.  Wow.


Next stop, the industrial graveyard.  Superman strolls the abandoned automotive plants.  He is joined by an elderly fella named Charley who acts as security.  He talks about the glory days of Detroit, and the smell of molten steel signifying the "future".  He knows the city is down... but, is thankful that he's still employed.  That's not something many of his peers can say.  He asks Superman to fly for him... as it's something he's never seen.  Worth mentioning that his chatter is intermittently interrupted by coughing... and as Superman takes his leave, Charley begins to choke!


Superman rushes back and grabs him... flying him straight back to the Nutella house.  He says that the man is beyond any Earth medicine... but, perhaps not beyond theirs.  They bring him to their underground lab and place him into a crystalline pod.


While he's healing, one of the aliens asks Superman if this makes them "square".  Will this be enough of a contribution from their kind to warrant their being left alone.  Superman strokes his chin... and has a pretty wild idea.  Like, really wild.  The aliens wind up moving into the abandoned plants where they can further their research.  One of the aliens names is Dokko... so, they start a corporation called DokkCo., and even better still, they'll be hiring all of the laid-off auto workers to handle the equipment!  Wow, talk about a win-win-win.  For the grand-opening... like, the same (or maybe the next) day, Clark Kent is there to report for the (Metropolis) Daily Planet.  Is there more than one Planet?  Anyhoo, he is greeted by... Charley!


We wrap up with Superman on the phone with Lois, and he discusses how difficult it was for him to write about himself... hmm.  She asks if he's heard from any of his friends... from the hero community, that is.  He replies that they probably think he's crazy.  And like clockwork, we close out with an appearance from... Batman!


--

Perhaps it's faint praise, but this was quite the improvement over the first chapter.  Still not anything I'd call "good", but I didn't want to run it through the paper-shredder post-reading... so, at least there's that.

Let's start at the beginning.  The pickup basketball game was fun.  Silly, sure... but fun.  Superman lets the perceived "weak link" of the crew bat the ball from his hands... which is probably the most "Superman" as he'll act for quite a while.  Good scene.

Then... we get Superman busting the chops of some aliens.  I really thought the whole purpose of this walk was to get more in touch with "regular people".  Oh well, maybe this is just a way of illustrating that alien flop-houses (at least this alien flop-house) might've gone under his radar before now.  I get the feeling that JMS started with the illegal immigration "punchline" then wrote backwards from there.  Anybody who has read his Amazing Spider-Man knows he sometimes bends over backwards to make politicized statements... even to the point of having characters who have never been depicted as being political making out-of-nowhere statements.  Ever wonder how Aunt May votes?  Me neither... but read JMS's ASM, and you'll know!

The issue only gets more unreal from here.  Superman threatens Dokko and his kin... placing himself in a position of authority over them.  Telling them he'll be back when he figures out what to do with them... thaaaaaat, just doesn't seem right.  Could you imagine living in fear of freakin' Superman 24-hours a day?  First, what gives him the right?  Superman doesn't act like this... right?  I mean, am I completely off-base?  Second, Superman is suspicious of the Nutella aliens... but leaves them with their warsuit???  If he really thinks they might become "a problem" wouldn'tcha figure he'd confiscate their giant-killer-robot-suit?

The bits with Charley weren't bad.  He gives Superman the tour of the industrial graveyard... which begs the question, does Superman... who is also a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper... really not know the horrendous state of Detroit's industry?  Is this really news to him?

Anyhoo... Charley starts to die... perhaps a result of breathing in melted steel fumes (too bad this didn't happen in the Golden Age... it would've given him superpowers!)... and Superman brings him to the alien flop-house so he can be placed in a miracle pod... which gives Superman the idea that the aliens can become captains of research and industry... like the very next day!  Aren't there permits and stuff that need to be filled out for that?

And, let's think about these plants... are they going to be full of these miracle pods and stuff of the like?  Wouldn't that make more than a few eyebrows raise?  Also... did Charley have a form of cancer... and did the aliens cure it?  Like, are we witnessing the cure for cancer being introduced in the DC Universe?  That seems like something they'd ordinarily shy away from, right?  Maybe I'm just thinking too hard.

Finally... Lois and Clark chat on the phone.  He says he finds it difficult to write about himself... but, aren't like at least 2/3 of his articles about Superman?  That's like Peter Parker saying he feels weird taking pictures of Spider-Man!  Speaking of Spidey... it's so crazy that JMS was so great at writing a fun and relatable Spider-Man, but writes Superman as a pompous ass.  Oh well.

Worth reading?  For the morbidly curious... sure.  Otherwise, we should make like DC and maybe pretend it never happened.

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