Action Comics #762 (February, 2000)
"All I Want For Christmas"
Writer - Joe Kelly
Pencillers - German Garcia & Kano
Inker - Joe Rubenstein
Colorists - Glenn Whitmore & WildStormFX
Letterer - John Costanza
Editors - Maureen McTigue, Eddie Berganza & Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $1.99
Oh, c'mon! Yesterday I got bit by the rhyming bug... and today we've gotta deal with the Demon?!
Even worse... Etrigan Claus... howsabout Satan Claus?!
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We open on New Year's Day 2000... but only briefly. This isn't a Y2K story, nonono, this is (what I'm assuming was) a most unwelcome break in that senses-shattering storyline to see how Lois and Clark spent the last Christmas of the twentieth century. Ya see, Lois was feeling a little "humbuggy" because she can never compete with her super-spouse when it comes to buying Christmas gifts. So, after a bit of very cliche arguing (Lois stopped just shy of calling Christmas a "Hallmark Holiday") Clark agrees to taking a "no-powers" Christmas-shopping trip.
Clark has a run-in with some very cliche Christmas shoppers... and an older woman who can see he's clearly out of his element gives him a candy cane. Elsewhere (in the same mall), Lois is also shopping... and, has a run-in with Encantadora (a new and seldom-used character) shopping for her little brother, a big Superman fan.
Deeper inside the mall, Clark notices some commotion over in the area where kids can take pictures with Santa and decides to check it out. Who should he find there, but... Etrigan the Demon?! If you're thinking "Well, that's pretty random"... I'd say, you're right.
Clark pops outta sight for a second to "Supe up", and returns to find out just what Etrigan is up to. Ya see, the last time they ran into one another Etrigan was trying to freeze Hell (part of Day of Judgment)... so, the Demon ain't exactly the most trustworthy fella around this time. Etrigan, a being of magic, has little trouble punching Superman straight into orbit.
With the Man of Steel out of the way, the Demon spies Encantadora... who has changed into a fairly trashy Santa outfit herself. She has this magic mist power... and she uses it in attempt to, I dunno... seduce the Demon? This makes Etrigan very happy... but not for the reason 'Dora hopes.
Meanwhile at the Moon... Superman recovers from the punch. As luck would have it, he landed right outside the Justice League's Watchtower... and interrupted Plastic Man and Green Lantern trimming the tree. After a brief exchange, he heads back to Earth.
Upon return, he is greeted by Encantadora... no longer in her bombastic bod, instead a little ghost girl?! All around the mall, he can see that Etrigan has made it so the patrons will be haunted by manifestations of their own "inner" demons... and one lady in particular will be attacked by the Afrin Nose.
We shift back to join Lois as she beelines it toward the exit. She finds herself attacked by a strange tiny version of Lex Luthor. Ya see, around this time Lois dun a bad thing... she's keeping a secret for the domed-one, and it's sorta eating her up inside. A little Demon-dust (mixed with Encantadora mist) is all she needs for the guilt to be given flesh.
Superman and Etrigan resume their battle, and the baddie explains that this is the one day of the year where the Demon form can freely roam without Jason Blood popping into his consciousness... and so, (somehow) with the aid of the magic mists he hopes to rid himself of his human half for good! Er, okay. He also feels as though bringing the people's "inner demons" out, he was doing them a favor... in seeing what they're struggling with, they'll be able to overcome and heal. Superman's all "that's not the way it works, pal." but gets knocked on his butt before he can say much more. Dora rushes in and tells Superman that he's gotta ixnay the istmay if he wants any hope of winning the day.
And so, he inhales every last bit of it. Ya know how Dora looks like a little ghost girl? I guess that's how she sees herself... and under the influence of the mist, projects that visage to the world. Well, when Superman sucks it down, he appears to the world as... a farmer. Like a giant glasses-less Clark Kent. With a pouch full of emotions, he "seeds" Metropolis back to normal. He then exhales the remaining mist into outer space.
Upon return, Etrigan's all "screw this" and leaves... though, he promises to be back in one year's time.
Superman then sees a chilly Encantadora on a rooftop. He slings his cape over her to warm her up. She takes the opportunity to re-mistify... and vanish... with his cape.
We wind down with everything happily ever after. Lois and Clark exchange their gifts and Encantadora had the perfect gift for her Superman-fan hermanito, in the form of Superman's actual cape. We wrap with the Demon chuckling about what's about to happen in the Y2K story.
--
Ehh.
This was alright. I'm not the biggest Demon fan... in fact, I usually find him quite boring. Plus, I don't know a heckuva lot about La Encantadora other than this was like her second appearance (after first appearing in a Secret Files & Origins story), and that she was used very seldom going forward.
The entire story feels a bit convenient... but, ya know... we are talking about a Christmas issue of a superhero comic. Not sure why the Demon was hanging out at the mall... did he know Encantadora would be coming? Did he know what her powers were? Did he ever explain how her powers could help him rid himself of the Jason Blood persona? What happened to the actual Mall Santa Claus? Was Jason Blood the Mall Santa? So many questions! Not enough interest to find any answers.
What worked about this issue for me were the bits with Lois... well, the later bits with Lois. I appreciate that her having covered for Luthor is something that sticks with her... something that haunts her. Her "Bah Humbugginess" was a bit trite... especially with the well-worn "Christmas is too commercial" soundbites. Though, I suppose we can attribute her lack of Christmas spirit to her overwhelming guilt. Maybe having helped one of the baddest men on the planet kinda squashes one's desire for eggnog and tinsel.
The art here was really not to my liking. It has all the turn-of-the-century trappings that I sorta-kinda dig... but done all wrong. I can get on board with exaggerated features... Ed McGuinness draws Superman with a tremendously large barrel chest... Humberto Ramos draws giant feet... both of those work for me. Here in this issue, however... there was exaggeration, but really only in Superman's chin and jawline. Made him look like he had a cartoon anvil for a head... almost expected to see "100 Tons" written on his cheeks. Didn't hate it... just didn't appreciate it as much as I'd hoped.
Overall... I'd say this is unfortunately one you can skip and not miss all that much. This was initially squeezed in between two chapters of the Y2K storyline... and I gotta assume it was a pretty unwelcome break from the action (pun!) back then. It really doesn't add a whole lot... and, I figure this was just a way for Joe Kelly to feature his La Encantadora character... and attempt to give her a bit more depth. Fair enough... but it's still not terribly interesting.
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Young Justice #40 (February, 2002)
"The Night Before Doomsday"
Writer - Peter David
Penciller - Todd Nauck
Inker - Larry Stucker
Colorist - Jason Wright
Separations - Digital Chameleon
Letterer - Ken Lopez
Assistant Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.50
Ho, ho, ho... who's ready to read a comic, that's not really a comic? Today we're going to chat up an issue of Young Justice which is more an illustrated riff on T'was the Night Before Christmas... and one in which I think we just might actually see Santa Claus!
Let's get right to it!
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We open with Robin in the bathroom dealing with the aftermath of having eaten Arrowette's cooking. When suddenly the rest of Young Justice are alerted via their monitors that something is headed their way... could it be Santa? No, probably not.
Their first instinct is to call in the "big guns", that being one of the teams whose names begin with "Justice" rather than end with it. Turns out, they're all off planet... or just plain off-duty this crazy Christmas Eve. Worth mentioning we get perhaps the only mention of the Inferior Five in turn-of-the-century DC Comics here! Also, the Suicide Squad... in between their bouts of relevancy.
Young Justice realizes that saving the world is up to them... so they hop in their cycle and take to the skies. Wonder Girl tries tracking the menace, and they find themselves being introduced to the baddie himself... Mordrek of the Great Khund Alliance. Oh yeah, him. He's cooking up a doomsday (not him) device, in the form of a rather large Earth-smashing meteor/bomb/thing.
The kids set their phasers to boom... and begin blasting away at the gigundus flaming head-meteor... but it's to no avail.
When all hope is lost, the gang hears a bell... perhaps this is Santa, boy would that be swell. Ahem, sorry... I promised myself I'd try not to rhyme here.
Anyhoo, Santa flew in, right into the meteor's path... you'd figure the elves would have better air-traffic control, maybe they're just bad at math. Dangit... did it again!
As it turns out, the crash did the trick... when the dust settles, there was no sign of Mordrek. Hmm... can't seem to help myself. Unfortunately for our heroes, Santa's gone too... the reindeer have turned into a torrent of goo!
Suddenly Santa's sack fell on Bart... the Young Justice kids know they've now got to play a part. With Santa kayoed before delivering the toys... who's going to treat all the good girls and boys?
Why Young Justice of course will take the gig... if only they'd realized it gonna be so big. Instead of delivering the goods in a single night... this gift-giving struggle proved a two-month-long fight.
The kids didn't realize there'd be back-end stuff... like how dealing with customer service might be tough! Folks were annoyed by mistakes and delays... and our poor heroes were left in a desperate haze. Two months to deliver... would give anyone pause, perhaps it's best left to old Santa Claus.
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Now... come on, just how fun was that?
I probably haven't picked this issue up in... well, fifteen years... and I gotta admit, when I opened it and saw the "gimmick", I sorta groaned... even considered skipping it altogether. I thought back to last year when I covered that Christmas issue of Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children... and thought this might turn out similar to that.
I'm glad I actually gave this a full read though, as I found myself smiling through the whole thing. Not only does this fall in sorta-kinda my DC-Wheelhouse (Bart as Impulse, Kon-El as Superboy, Cassie still wearing the black wig), but it was just a heckuva lot of fun.
Sure... Santa "dies" here, however with the caveat that he'll be reborn the following year. See, it's not hard to end a over-the-top tragic story with a flicker of hope! If only more folks wrote that way comics would be a whole lot more fun.
Let's talk art... Todd Nauck was one of my favorite turn-of-the-century artists. He strikes the perfect balance between comic-booky and cartoony... he's really quite excellent! Can't leave out the wonderful softer pastel colors from Jason Wright. It fits the tone of the story perfectly... this really looks like something that could be in a storybook. I think the only way it could feel more "Christmas Special-y" is if they used claymation figures!
My only complaint would be... DC's gimmick covers the month this came out. I mean, it's a good cover... maybe a great one, but... c'mon, wouldn't you have loved to see what kinda cover Nauck and Company would've cooked up for a Christmas Special? This could've been a cover that could stand beside The TT's Swingin' Christmas Carol. I think if that were the case, this issue would get a whole lot more "play" this time of year. Instead, this gem is hidden behind a DC gimmick-month cover.
Overall... even though I spoiled the entire thing for you, I'd recommend adding this to your Christmas comics library. I think this could be a great annual read for folks of all ages as you count down the days until Christmas! This issue is available digitally.
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Superman: The Man of Steel #109 (February, 2001)
"World Without Superman"
Writer - Mark Schultz
Penciller - Duncan Rouleau
Inkers - Jamie Mendoza & Marlo Alquiza
Colors & Separations - WildStormFX
Letterer - Ken Lopez
Assistant Editor - Tom Palmer, Jr.
Editor - Eddie Berganza
Cover Price: $2.25
Well, we never seem to be able to go very long without tripping over our old friend Superman, eh?
Today we're going to discuss an issue early in my "return" to reading Superman... actually my first time collecting the series's's's without a large event going on in the background, like say... a death.
Let's check out a story in which every time a bell rings, a meta-human gets a cape.
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We open in John Henry Irons' SteelWorks lab, where Superman is stress-testing Emil Hamilton's new cybernetic arm. Ya see, in the wake of the Y2K-B13 thang, the Prof was taken to an underground world below Metropolis... into the Virus itself. While there, he saw some strange things... including a strange Phantom Zone entity... more on that in a bit. Upon return he had himself one whopper of a cybernetic mitt.
After the test, Superman takes his leave. He is still feeling the effects of Lex Luthor's ascension into the White House. Steel offers Emil the SteelWorks as a workspace while the Prof's lab is rebuilt. He also gives him the "nickel tour", and shows him a strange meteor that had been delivered to him by Superman for study.
We rejoin Clark Kent as he lounges on his couch. He's flipping stations on the TV between classic Christmas movies, and the 24-Hour news cycle which, at this point is "All Luthor, All the time".
He finally dozes off... however, is awakened by Liri Lee of the Linear Men! Now, the Linear Men have always bored me to tears... but let's keep an open mind, perhaps she's here for something that will wind up being entertaining. Well, if the cover blurb didn't give it away, she's here to take him on a tour of a future without Superman... kinda like "It's a Wonderful Life"... or, uh... "It Will Be a Wonderful Life", I guess... because future.
And so, we hop fifteen years into the future. Superman's gone, and Lois, Perry, Jimmy, and Natasha Irons (now going by Iron Maiden) are part of the resistance against Lex Luthor (who must've passed an amendment on term limits). For the past six years, however, they have posed as part of the President-for-Life's Public Relations detail.
Their plan is to record a dicey interaction between Luthor and a representative from Pokolistan... which I can only hope has a capital called Palookaville... to which, you can only ever buy a "one way ticket". They will install a retinal camera to record the discussion... then broadcast it to the world to show everyone just how bad'a dude Luthor really is. Sounds like they didn't put nearly as much thought into this as they should... I wonder how it's going to turn out.
Anyhoo... Liri takes Superman on a quick tour of this new world. Funny, if this were "real time", the Earth he'd be looking at would be that of The New-52! There's a reason to panic, right? Where were the Linear Men to warn us when all that was going down?! Okay, okay... she informs him that many of his fellow heroes have either perished, retired, or joined up with Luthor. Also, that LexCorp's B13 tech has pretty much taken over the entire planet.
Speaking of Lex... our next stop is in a Savannah, where he is planning to meet with the Palooka from Pokolistan. He is flanked by his Press Gang and security detail, featuring Plastic Man, Booster Gold, and Huntress. The landscape looks really cool... as the trees have a bit of the B13 virus in them. Really dig this.
Finally the Pokolistan Colonel arrives, and to celebrate they each kill a tiger. Well, when in Rome...
They start talking details of their nefarious plan... but Luthor stops before getting into the "juicy" stuff. He turns and instructs his security team to detail the press gang. Because, ya know... a video camera contact lens is a really dumb idea, and Lex knew about it all along. Probably because his company invented and manufactured the damn things.
Lex and company kill Lois, Perry, and Jimmy... all the while Superman is powerless to stop him. Liri then pulls him away to show him this Pokolistan. He says he's never heard of it... to which, she says "you will." Pokolistan is destined to be the hub of the B13 Virus... and they will eventually take over the world. Not even President Lex will be powerful enough to stop them. From there, the Earth will fall before the Pokolistan Dynasty... and never recover.
Liri returns Clark back to the "present", asks that he not abandon his adopted home planet... and wishes him a Merry Christmas. Oh yeah! This is a Christmas issue... almost forgot about that!
We wrap up back at the SteelWorks, where Emil and John Henry are checking into that Phantom Zone presence. Listening close they can hear someone speaking... in Kryptonese! Without a translation... grr... okay. They're saying, "I will surrly". Ahh, that clears it all up! Glad I took the time to do that. Anyhoo, from this... they deduce that their might just be a Krypton in the Phantom Zone. We know where this is headed.
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Not a bad issue. Not nearly as fun as the previous two Christmas romps we'd just read... but, for the time, a really good "imaginary story".
I'm not sure how "on board" I am with the idea that Superman would abandon the Earth following Luthor's Presidential victory. I mean, we hear people all the time (on both sides) saying they'll leave the United States if such-and-such candidate they don't like wins... and 99.9% of them never follow though. I can't see Superman actually leaving the Earth as a whole simply because he didn't like the result of an election.
There are many ways we can take that conversation, but in the interest of... well, not doing any of that... we'll just let it lay. I think what bugs me most is that not only did Superman leave... he left Lois behind as well! I just can't see that happening. I mean, check in on New Krypton for a little while, sure... walk across the freaking country... dumb, but okay... leave the Earth forever? Just don't see it.
I don't remember off the top of my head if the Pokolistan threat ever became a "thing". Maybe they had something to do with Imperiex and Our Worlds At War... but it's been a lifetime since I sat down with that.
The art here... well, I'm of two minds. I like it, and feel like it fits in with a lot of "turn of the century" art... while at the same time, I can't help but to be distracted that Rouleau draws everyone to kinda look like Antonio Inoki.
Overall, a fine issue... which lays the groundwork for some fairly monumental stories to follow. It might not have been as "Christmassy" as I'd have liked, but I'm glad I revisited it nonetheless. Worth checking out!
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