Action Comics #579 (May, 1986)
"Prisoners of Time! (1986 A.D. to CCLIII A.D.)"
Writer - R.J.M. Lofficier
Penciller - Keith Giffen
Inker - Bob Oksner
Letterer - Milt Snapinn
Colorist - Gene D'Angelo
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.75
For today's jaunt through the world of #Action100, we're going to take a look at an... interesting... issue from the very-very late pre-Crisis era.
I've complained in the past about everything that goes into a reboot/relaunch. Once a "brand new era" is decided or announced, we seem to move into a "lame duck" period, where we're just killing time and filling pages.
So... could an issue of Action Comics featuring a clear pastiche of Asterix comics be of any consequence? Or are we in "lame duck" "just do whatever" mode?
Guess we're about to find out...
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We open with Jimmy Olsen on a date with his lady-friend Karen, at the Metropolis Museum of Art. After cutting himself with a Gladius (who goes into a museum thinking they can just touch everything? I guess Jimmy Olsen does!). His eye is then caught by an Arverne Shield... which, looks like it might be a reference to that weird cameo on the cover.
Just then a pair of goons enter the scene... and they're looking to steal the shield. Jimmy is able to sneakily zeet-zeet his signal watch... and, after a moment, Superman arrives.
Superman takes out the would-be robber (with hair)... while the other (without hair) sneaks up on Jimmy with the shield. Jimmy spins around and shatters it with the Gladius blade. This whole scene is pretty awkward (and we're only just getting started!). Anyhoo, when the dust settles... Karen is rather annoyed that Jimmy broke the shield.
Jimmy turns to Superman, hopeful that he might be able to repair the busted relic... to which, Superman's all "nope." Then Jimmy, really not knowing how to quit while he's behind, suggests Superman simply go back in time and fetch him a new shield. Superman doesn't appear to be all that keen on the idea of changing history. We now jump... well, back to Gaul in the year 253.
As if the story hasn't been a bit awkward to follow up to this point... it's about to get worse. It's here we meet Prolifix... a soothsayer in search of the only Gaulish that the Roman Empire did not overtake. He blames the Gaul's resilience on a magic potion concocted by a Druid. He figures that if he could get his hands on it, he could rule over the land himself!
At just that moment, he notices a troop of Roman Legionaries out on patrol. He uses a smoke pellet and presents himself to them, claiming to be a warlock... who brings with him a message from the Gods.
He wishes to meet with their Centurion to explain his plan for overtaking the Gauls... and he does just that.
We next shift to that Druid... who is accompanied by the massive Columnix. When the Roman's reveal themselves, Columnix makes short work of them. The Druid wonders just what has gotten into them to make them attack. The defeated Roman's slink back to their camp and report their, well, defeat.
Prolifix heads back into the Centurion's tent... and pitches another plan. This time he uses his Astrolabus... which looks kind of like a mirror... disc... plate... thing. Anyhoo, he flips it on, and it shows their new champion... Superman!
Prolifix uses a bit of hoo-doo, which causes Superman (and Jimmy) to be pulled back to the past. Superman lands (with a thud) among the Roman's... Jimmy lands (with a splash) near the Gauls. Superman is "drugged" with the "vapors of Epona" to do the bidding of the Roman Empire.
Jimmy is brought back to the Gaulish village where he meets the Druid (Picturix) and the village chieftain, Flipmybix (who stands atop a very familiar shield). They plan to speak with the Romans the following day to try and sort this mess out.
And so, the next day Jimmy, Picturix and the giant Columnix head off. The Romans attack on sight... but are taken down pretty quickly by the giant (and Jimmy, who had been given a super-strength potion). Actually... all but one of the Roman soldiers are taken down.
Prolifix demands Jimmy stand down, otherwise he will command "Superix" to kill Columnix. He then turns his attention to Picturix... and threatens to kill Jimmy if he doesn't hand over the magic potion. Knowing when to call it quits, Picturix agrees... but, he has (oh no) a plan.
After mixing up a batch, Jimmy goes to hand it over to the Romans. Not trusting the Gauls... Prolifix insists that his new charge Superix taste it first.
Wouldn'tcha know it... this potion breaks Prolifix's control over the Man of Steel. There's a bit more fighting before everything gets straightened out. Superman forces Prolifix to spill the beans about the shape of the world outside of the Gaul village. Turns out the Roman Empire fell a long time ago... and there's really no reason for there to be any conflict.
We wrap up with Flipmybix giving Superman and Jimmy the Arverne Shield... and everything's cool in the world.
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Wha-?
Wow... I really didn't like this. That might be due to my having no frame of reference for the Asterix characters and didn't get the references... or maybe it was just a lousy story. Perhaps a little bit of both.
You ever read anything... like for school or work... or heck, even for fun... where you finish a page, and realize you haven't the foggiest idea what you'd just read? And you have this almost "defeated" feeling, where you need to make the decision of whether you turn the page and hope to "catch up" or go back and re-read the mess you just read? That was nearly every page here. Hell, for a few of the pages I wasn't entirely convinced I was even reading English!
This was a nightmare to follow, and required three readings to make any sense out of... and, ya know what... I'm still not sure I've got it right! Add to that Keith Giffen's more avant garde style at the time, and I may as well have been reading braille... or hieroglyphics.
This is the very definition of a "lame duck" story... where we're just filling pages and time waiting for "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" and John Byrne's Man of Steel. Not that every story needs to "mean something", but this almost aggressively meant nothing.
Again... I have no frame of reference or affection for Asterix... so, I suppose mileage may (and likely will) vary. I just know that if I waited four-weeks for the next issue of Action Comics, and found this in my mailbox/at my newsstand, I'd be pretty bummed out.
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Letters Page (featuring The Mad Maple and... Ambush Bug?):
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JSA #68 (February, 2005)
"JSA/JSA, Chapter 1: Making History"
Writer - Geoff Johns
Penciller - Don Kramer
Inker - Keith Champagne
Colorist - John Kalisz
Letterer - Ken Lopez
Associate Editor - Stephen Wacker
Editor - Peter Tomasi
Cover Price: $2.50
For the first time in a long time I have what a lotta folks call "nightstand reads". It's not often I get to do any reading where I'm not trying to write, script, or speak about it... and, I suppose at the bottom of it, these "nightstand reads" aren't necessarily "without consequence" either.
Right now I'm reading the America vs. the Justice Society miniseries from 1985... with half-an-eye toward doing something with it a bit later on. It's a highly recommended little mini... and boy howdy, is it dense! I mean, there are footnotes to the footnotes!
In reading that, I recalled a story from JSA that evoked several of the themes from that story, however with a decidedly post-Crisis twist. It's been... almost a decade and a half (yikes) since I last read this, and I was curious how well it aged.
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We open in the wee hours of the morning in Blue Valley, Nebraska where Stargirl has returned home after a long battle with Solomon Grundy. She reflects on her performance as a part of the Justice Society of America before passing out on her bed. We then jump to a quick and dirty retelling of the JSA's "retirement" back in 1951.
The House Un-American Activities Committee presses the heroes to prove that they're "good Americans" by removing their masks. For a response, the get the big "uh-uh". Green Lantern has heard more than enough from the stuffed shirts, and pulls the ol' vanishing act. After the Society vamoosed, one of the politicians smiles, he knows this is all going according to... history?
Back at the Gotham City Brownstone, the Justice Society consider their options. A consensus forms, they still don't wish to unmask... however think it might not be the worst idea to retire none the less... after all, the war is over.
We jump to a week later (in 1951). The newspaper headlines suggest that the Justice Society of America might have ties to the enemy... hmm, they must've gotten a hold of Batman's super-secret diary. Anyhoo, Per Degaton arrives... and is informed that everything is going according to plan... except that "the Hunter" is still on the loose.
Back in the present... it's now morning. Stargirl heads downstairs for some breakfast, and provides any potential new reader with adequate enough backstory on her family. She mentions that her step-father, Pat Dugan was Stripsey, the partner of the original Star-Spangled Kid... and all things considered, she is happy that he (and his son) are now part of her family.
Suddenly... the world goes red, and masked assassins appear. With their first shot, they kill Pat.
Stargirl fires back with her Star-Rod... but it's too late, the assassins have already murdered her mother, step-brother... and little baby sister! The New DC, folks!
Courtney goes like super-nova with the Star-Rod and blows out the side of the house. She pins down an assassin, looking for answers... when she doesn't get any, she kills them all?! She then kneels next to her fallen family... hoping that she'll eventually wake up.
Suddenly, a man arrives... he informs her that time is currently changing, and there is still an opportunity to set things right before it "sticks". Also, the Justice Society never un-retired... so, most of her life to this point never really happened. They hop into his time-sphere.
This fella is, of course, "the Hunter", as in Rip Hunter... Time Master. He informs Courtney that the assassins are a part of a group called the Red Morgue, and they hail from the year 2666. He gives her the skinny on the Time Masters and Linear Men... and mentions that part of their responsibilities is to stop any time travelers from committing "cradle-murders"... which, isn't something I'd necessarily wanna read month after month, but a really cool idea none the less!
He continues, filling her in on how and why the Justice Society will never "re-band" after their retirement... he mentions that they will be found guilty of treason... yeah, they definitely found Batman's super-secret diary, right?
The time-sphere arrives at its destination... the JSA Brownstone back in 1951. There, Courtney is joined by many of the "new generation" of the Justice Society... Mr. Terrific (Michael Holt), Jakeem Thunder, Dr. Mid-Nite, Sand, and... Atom-Smasher. A quick update... Atom-Smasher isn't exactly Courtney's fave fella at the moment... he did just go on a rampage alongside Black Adam. Rip insists that he's necessary for his plans.
Rip then... leaves! He hops back into the time sphere, wishes the Junior Justice League the best... and beats out of dodge. We close out in the shadows... with a woman whispering that she hopes Courtney doesn't mess this up.
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This definitely gave me pangs of America vs. the Justice Society. I can't say for certain that's where this story is headed... it's been quite a while since I sat down with it. Still really dig how it evokes a similar feeling... really paying tribute to an all-but-forgotten story, or perhaps a never-known one to post-Crisis readers... I can honestly say that I didn't know anything of it back in 2005. At the same time, America vs. the Justice Society isn't required reading to appreciate this "JSA/JSA" arc. It's kind of the best of both worlds.
I really dig Johns' Stargirl. She's far less "yass" a character than I fear she would be if she was introduced nowadays. Here, she's a girl who's learning as she goes. She makes mistakes, and learns from them. We don't seem to have the patience for that sort of development anymore. Hell, if you show a certain kind of character to have any kind of weakness at all, the creators are all but chased off social media with digital pitchforks.
Even in her internal monologue she mentions how she might've started her "heroes journey" for the wrong reasons, but has come to learn just what it means for her to be a hero. I really dig that. Also, her kinda running down and analyzing the "Junior Justice Society" report card was a sort of "awareness" we don't really get any more.
I really like the idea of their being a "second generation" of the Justice Society. It's a concept that can't really be pulled off on many other teams. I mean, there are New Mutants to X-Men... but, they're sort of their own thing. These two generations of JSAers fill the same roster. The juniors learn from the elders... and the whole dynamic feels more like a huge family rather than an organization. I'm not sure if I worded that properly... just one of those "write by feel" moments.
There's one problem... if you could call it that... that I have with this issue (and era of DC Comics), it's the hyper-violence. I mean, we get it... the Red Morgue are bad dudes. I don't necessarily need to see them snap a dog's neck and shoot an infant in her highchair to prove it. I hate pinning all of this sort of thing on Didio's arrival... but there is a certain amount of observers logic in that. Many of the books got a fair amount "darker" with his arrival... perhaps just another sign of DC Comics being a bit "behind the times". This darkness and (relative) gore would be right at home in 1995. By 2005, it's both excessive and a bit embarrassing.
Overall... had a great time with this issue, and I bet most fans of DC Comics would too! This bugger is available digitally. Also, if you're so inclined, America vs. the Justice Society is too!
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Action Comics #721 (May, 1996)
"The Fortune Plague"
Writer - David Michelinie
Penciller - Kieron Dwyer
Inker - Denis Rodier
Letterer - Bill Oakley
Colorist - Glenn Whitmore
Separations - Digital Chameleon
Assistant Editor - Mike McAvennie
Editor - K.C. Carlson
Cover Price: $1.95
For today's hop into the world of #Action100, we're going to discuss an era of Superman I don't talk about a whole heckuva lot... the few years following The Death and Return has long been one of my blind spots. I guess hopping in on the Man of Steel at the most urgent of times, lends to anything short feeling a bit... blah.
Add to that the "ehh" paper stock. This was the era of "deluxe" comics, an early attempt at goin' glossy... and man, it just doesn't do the art a whole lotta service. I'm scared to touch any of the pages for fear that I'm going to smear the inks and colors... it just looks so "piled on". I've said it before, but I was rather pleased when they rolled back to a better quality/less glossy stock while they worked on glossy that would actually work. Though, I think I'd still prefer newsprint... but, I'm kind of an idiot.
Another reason we haven't discussed many of these here is... my beloved Triangle Numbering. I mean, I love it... but, it doesn't really lend itself to reviewing just one comic... especially if your review-blog was focused on say... just one of the ongoing-Superman books at the moment.
Well, let's get to it...
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We open in Centennial Park where a man is trying to hold up a woman for her lottery tickets. He taunts her with a broken bottle... but is stopped by the arrival of Superman. The fella takes a run for it... and Superman just lets him go. He can tell that the would-be mugger wasn't a bad guy... just a desperate one. Well, that's certainly not a slippery slope, is it? Anyhoo. to show her appreciation, the lady peels off a lotto ticket for the Man of Steel... which he begrudgingly takes.
Back at the Planet, Clark gifts his ticket to a guy named Ted... and has an uncomfortable brush-up with Lois. This was during the time that the engagement was called off... which is one of those times I know about, but always seem to have a tough time placing. They part company before the winning lotto numbers can be read.
Wouldn'tcha know it... everybody wins!
Well, they all think they've won anyway... turns out everybody heard different winning numbers being read! Sounds like some fifth-dimensional stuff might be going on. As you may imagine, this leads to quite a bit of mayhem on the streets of Metropolis!
Back at the Planet, Perry sends Lois and Clark off to look into the madness. Lois whispers to Clark that she'll cover for him... so he can do the "super" work. This is an interesting little piece of the puzzle. I mean, Lois and Clark are broken up... but she still knows. Glad they included this bit.
On the streets... it's still riot-town. Even at the Ace of Clubs... where our man Bibbo has to deal out some swift and stern "Why I oughta's".
It's not just the lottery that's causing the world to be hinky... outside, a man is celebrating that he won a brand-new car at the church raffle... because everyone else bought lotto tickets. Well, I guess this is still tangentially lotto-related... anyhoo, his car gets smashed by a giant coin!
The coins continue to fall, almost crushing another fella... Superman winds up saving him... twice! Before imploring him (in four languages) to get his butt home.
We shift over to join Jimmy Olsen... who's looking less freckle-faced and more... I dunno, toadish? Anyway, he's wrapping up a date with his mom Dana, when suddenly he's rushed by a group of women all wanting nothing more than to jump his ginger bones.
After stopping yet another falling coin from derailing a train, we hop into a couple's brand-new apartment. The fella here's wearing a "Property of Alcatraz" sweatshirt... which is kinda silly. Anyway, he wishes that their new pad had a river view... which causes the building to sprout legs and start walking toward the river. Hmm...
Superman's still saving folks when he notices that the walking building is about to crush the Annual Sons of Ireland picnic at Centennial Park. He manages to bring all the "Sons" to safety just in the nick of time.
Elsewhere, Rob Troupe and Lucy Lane have a chance meeting on the street. Lucy mentions how lucky they were to run into each other, which causes Ron's spidey-sense to tingle (after all, the entire day's events have been predicated on "good luck turning bad")... he yells at her to stay put, just as a gas main explodes a few feet in front of her.
Superman wraps the walking building up in steel cables to halt its progress... leaving our happy couple with a pretty lousy view. We also learn that a little apartment in Metropolis goes for $2,000 a month! Yikes.
We wrap up with Clark returning to his apartment. He hears the shower running and his first thought is that Lois decided to come back. Well, no... it's not Lois, and it's not even Bobby Ewing... it's, well, the fella we all knew it was gonna be, Mr. Mxyzptlk (and boy is it disturbing)... might have to mark this entry "Not Safe for Work".
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This was a neat little throwaway... which is kinda how I look at most Mxy-centric stories. Overly silly, and without much real consequence... Mxy stories kinda tough to look at objectively. I mean, his whole schtick is a gimmick... soon as things start getting silly in a book, it's just gotta be Mxy.
That said... what can one say about a Mxy story? Not a whole lot, I'm afraid. It's suitably silly... and the antics look to be getting under Superman's skin. The use of a lottery to foment the riots was an interesting approach... and even drummed up a fair bit of tension. Of course, when giant pennies started raining, and buildings began doing the two-step, we kinda knew the deal. I admit, I became a bit deflated at that point.
It kinda reminded me of old Twilight Zone episodes... where they start off with so much potential and suspense (luck, good or bad is a neat subject to explore)... but end, pretty much exactly how you thought they would. As for the art... I already said it above, but this early glossy paper really doesn't do anybody any favors.
Overall... if you're a fan of Mxy and Mayhem, you're probably going to dig this. This issue is available digitally.
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For today's jaunt through the world of #Action100, we're going to take a look at an... interesting... issue from the very-very late pre-Crisis era.
