1st Issue Special #4 (July, 1975)
"Poisoned Love!"
Writer - Robert Kanigher
Penciller - John Rosenberger
Inker - Vince Colletta
Cover Price: $0.25
Well, here we are... it took EIGHT HUNDRED (consecutive) Days to do it, but today we're finally covering... Lady Cop. Welcome to it!
Kind of a low-key "milestone" piece, sure... but one that just felt right. When we first started this silly journey two years back, I was hoping to share some of my favorites... not so favorites... and just plain oddities from the DC Comics library. Even from the first few days blogging, Lady Cop was one I was dying to share.
The crazy thing is that it's (in theory) not a terribly difficult book to find... at least online. The book regularly appears at various online retailers... and only goes for a couple bucks. Even though it was at the tippity-top of my wish list... I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger.
I'm very much about "the hunt". I've never ordered a back issue from my "wish list" off the internet... there's just something about flipping through a bin... and getting the goosebumps when I'd start to notice issues of 1st Issue Special... knowing that one of these days, Lady Cop would be among them.
It was my "white whale" and gave me a reason to be excited to dig through the bins. As insanely frustrating as it is, it's also kinda nice to have one of those books that just escapes your grasp. It keeps things interesting.
Right now I sit, with the book about six inches to my left... feeling sorta like Kraven at the end of his "Last Hunt". I've bagged the biggest "game", and I feel like there's not much left for me to do. Well... I guess we still gotta track down the Dingbats of Danger Street.
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We open with a young lady hiding under a bed while a man in Jolly Roger cowboy boots... murders her roommates. Before making his exit, he leaves an Ace of Spades playing card behind. The police arrive on the scene and our survivor, Liza Warner gives them the low-down on what just went down. She tells them about what she was able to see, including the Jolly Roger boots... which leads another officer to inform her that she has the "camera eye of a born police officer".
... and so, she enrolls in the Police Academy!
She appears to be a natural... not only for her "camera eye", but she's also a crack-shot and has a heckuva judo throw. Time passes, and we rejoin Liza at commencement. Before she and the rest of the cadets can be properly graduated, a classmate who flunked out crashes the party... with a live grenade! Our lady is able to intercept the explosive... and tosses it into a nearby garbage can before it can go boom. Not sure how much protection a garbage can might give when we're talking about a grenade... but we'll allow it.
With our backstory behind us, we can now move into the "present". Lady Cop is on the roof of an inner-city building trying to get a creeper to back off from a young lady he's been hassling. She manages to get him to desist by informing him that "that girl's underage". So... I guess roughing up a "legal" woman is a-okay. Or maybe just "not as bad". Anyhoo, the young lady leaves... just as another hoodlum arrives. They figure, if they can't have the underage girl... Lady Cop'll have to do.
She beats them both up pretty quickly... and without even messing up her hair all that much. She arrests them... and leads them into a nearby police cruiser. The entire time they're threatening to come back and even the score, which tells me that they were never read their Miranda Rights... I figure those are some of those things that "could be used against" them in a Court of Law.
With a job well done, Lady Cop continues along her beat. She comes to an ice cream vendor... and sees that one of the neighborhood kids cannot afford even a single scoop. She goes ahead and buys the tot an ice cream "with all the trimmings". When I hear that, I picture relish and onions... let's hope that's not the case.
With that injustice righted, Lady Cop once more continues on her beat. She is warned by a neighborhood woman that the men she just had put away are quite dangerous. Speaking of dangerous, Lady Cop is being watched by a chain wielding buffoon hanging out on another roof. Lotta people hanging out on roofs in this 'hood. She continues, and comes across that underage girl from before, who is using a pay phone. She overhears that the girl just found out that her boyfriend... has V.D. Huh... gotta say, I wasn't expecting that. Upon seeing Lady Cop, Underage Whatsherface rushes off.
Before Lady Cop can give chase, she witnesses a bodega getting robbed by a knife-wielding loon. The robber attempts to flee, and even stabs the grocer in order to break his grip. Liza manages to deflect a stab attempt and throws the nogoodnik into a lamppost... kayoing him.
Turning her attention to the grocer, she deduces that he's stopped breathing... and so, we get some mouth-to-mouth action. Gotta say, they're checking off a whole lotta boxes here, aren't they?
She manages to save his life, and he's hauled off into an ambulance for observation. She finishes out her day, with visions of V.D. Girl dancing in her head. After her shift, we meet Liza's boyfriend Hal. According to her fellow officers, this is "Where the Cop becomes a Lady".
He takes her to the beach... all the while complaining that she's a police officer. He even goes so far as to refer to her as "a working man". What an a-hole. Thing is, she might just leave the force... if only she could track down ol' Jolly Roger Boots and avenge her roommates.
Three days later, we're back on the beat... and Lady Cop has finally tracked down V.D. Girl, who is standing at the docks all melancholy like. We get the "After School Special" take on venereal disease... and Lady Cop really presses the girl to go get checked out. The gal is too scared, and doesn't want her father to find out.
Lady Cop insists they tell her father... who, it just so happens works on those very same docks. Now, here's where it gets weird... er. Nina (V.D. Girl) tells her pop what went down... and he's rather ticked off. He reels back... then punches... Lady Cop?! Who, in the very next panel looks no worse for wear... I mean, not even a hair out of place... when the wallop nearly knocked her hat off. I'm not sure what's going on here. Dude also doesn't get arrested for, ya know, assaulting an officer... He says "Mea Culpa" a bunch of times, which I suppose is "Latin enough".
As Nina and her Pops walk off, Lady Cop is taken unawares by that chain-wielding dope from before. He somehow wraps her wrist with the chain (without breaking it... the wrist, that is)... and they both wind up in the drink.
Now... if you're ever going to accost a police officer down by the docks, you might want to make sure you know how to swim, right? Well, Chainy never got that memo... and so, Lady Cop is tasked with saving his worthless life.
And then... we end with Lady Cop asking herself if she'll ever find "The Killer in Boots". Spoiler Alert... no.
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Well, I gotta say... that wasn't what I expected!
All I knew about this going in was that Liza's roommates were murdered... so I just assumed this was going to be twenty-odd pages of revenge-fueled melodrama. I was also expecting to be greatly disappointed by that fact.
Thankfully that wasn't the case at all! The "Killer in Boots" was just the motivational measure for Liza joining the force... and was clearly being used for a long-term payoff... if only "Lady Cop" ever became an ongoing series. Weird thing about this issue, usually when we discuss a 1st Issue Special, there's a text page inside giving the "story behind the story" in lieu of a letters page or some such... we don't get that here. Also... I was expecting a little note saying "If you want more Lady Cop, please write to such and such address"... but, we get none'a that either! Wonder if they didn't have high hopes for Lady Cop... or maybe they just assumed people would be writing in by the thousands, and figured they didn't need to promote? Yeah, I'm sure that's probably it.
What I really wasn't expecting was the... relevancy? Is that the word we're looking for? I mean, when I'm looking at a comic from the 1970's, venereal disease really isn't a topic I expect to read about. I guess when you put out a book with "Lady Cop" on the cover you don't really expect kids to be all that jazzed about picking it up... right?
We should also talk about Liza's beat a little bit. She had to have been assigned the most dangerous block on the planet, right? I mean, forget cops... this neighborhood needs its own sector designation and own devoted troop of Green Lanterns! You can't walk five feet without somebody swinging a weapon in your direction! I mean, Liza doesn't even look distressed by any of this... which tells me, she's dodging chains, knives, and would be-rapists on a daily basis.
The art here, I thought was really good. Not terribly familiar with Rosenberger/Diehl... but know that he came from romance comics. That's probably what made him a good fit for a "street level" book like this. My only quibble is that weird page where Papa V.D. punches Lady Cop in the face... that was some weird flow!
I'm really rather surprised that Lady Cop hasn't made any sort of resurgence in comics... especially in the times we're currently living in. Seems like a natural fit... I'll bet she probably could've had a good 4-6 issues (before being cancelled) during the DCYOU days!
Overall... for novelty's sake, and to follow one of the very few demandments of this humble blog, I'd definitely tell ya to grab this if you come across it in the wild. Hell, add it to an online order if you've already got an order in the works... won't set you back much.
Was it worth the wait? Ya know... it's not often I feel this way, but I think it was. The story isn't going to rock any socks or blow any minds... but it has just the right amount of weirdness to it, that I can't not love it.
With all that said... we've come to the part of our milestone celebration where I become a sappy mess. Eight Hundred days is a very long time... besides my wife, I think this blog is the longest steady "relationship" I've had in quite a long time... and to think, when I started it, I thought it would be "really cool" (and almost an impossibility) to blog daily for an entire... week.
In our time together, we've celebrated holidays... birthdays... graduations... anniversaries... all sorts of things. We've covered some old favorites... discovered some new favorites... taken part in blog-hops and team-ups... and we've also discussed both Millennium and Superman: Grounded.
I've also been afforded the opportunity to meet and share with some really great people... like my Pod-ner, Reggie... the Weird Science Get Fresh Crew, the mighty Super-Blog Team-Up, the ParliPodders, DC in the 80's, the #BestEventEver gang, the Top-Secret Podcast Partners... and anybody and everybody who has reached out! And yeah, I realize how silly it is to write an Oscar speech for a blog post that (at best) a couple of hundred people might see... but, that train has already left the station. I'm normally a (shocker) pretty introverted dude... so, opportunities to meet and befriend folks (especially online) is (or was) a pretty rare thing for me.
I'm happy that I've stuck with this as long as I have. As with every milestone we hit, I begin questioning just how much longer we're going to keep at this. I always see a "hundredth" post as a good way to make an escape...
... but, we've still gotta wrap up that #Action100 thing, don't we? Guess we're not about to shutter the windows and dim the lights just yet.
By this point... I'm babbling. If you've made it this far, THANK YOU. If you're a regular reader... THANK YOU. If you've somehow stumbled across this post, and read it through... THANK YOU. I guess what I'm trying to say is... ya know, Thanks.
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Sideways #1 (April, 2018)
"fun and games"
Storytellers - Kenneth Rocafort & Dan DiDio
Dialogue - Dan DiDio & Justin Jordan
Colorist - Daniel Brown
Letterer - Carlos M. Mangual
Associate Editor - Jessica Chen
Editor - Katie Kubert
Cover Price: $2.99
Today, as we prepare for tomorrow's landmark EIGHT HUNDREDTH DAILY DISCUSSION, we're going to take it easy with another recent release. Yesterday's look at Terrifics #1 whet my appetite for this New Age of Heroes! thing... so, I figured why not take a peek at the character who, when we all looked at that New Age poster thought, "Is that supposed to be Spider-Man?"
Well, is it? Let's find out.
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We open on a girl named "Ernie" going through her normal morning "getting ready" routine... our titular hero lurks behind her... and gets one heckuva smack. Our young hero unmasks and proceeds to apologize for "rifting in" on her. Turns out, this Ernestine is our new pal Derek's good pal, confidant, and costume designer. They chat a bit... she tries socking him to see how strong he is... then he "rifts out" before Ernie's twin sister Emeline can barge into the bedroom.
We shift scenes over to Derek's house where his folks are watching the news on what went down in Gotham City during the... Dark Knights: Metal event. We get the distinct impression that Derek was in Gotham when all that stuff happened... and that it affected him in strange ways. Derek's mom calls up to the lad, and plays that "I'm leaving without you" hokey-pokey that I'd assume many parents have with their teen-age children when they're dragging their feet.
She drops him off at school... and as he walks through the halls, there's this murmuring about him being a "mama's boy". He mulls it over, but ultimately doesn't appear to be all that affected by it. He lets his mind wander during Physics class... back to that fateful day in Gotham City.
A mountain erupts from the ground... causing the Earth to split. Derek just happened to be standing in the exact wrong place at the exact wrong time, and wound up falling through it!
In the present, class lets out. Everybody appears to be rather dismissive of our Derek... even his teacher who proclaims him to be "someone else's problem" once the bell rings. Wow... what an a-hole. Derek heads out... shares a few text with (I'm assuming) Ernie, before rifting to a rooftop to change into his costume.
Now... I know what you're thinking, this is where he goes off and unsuccessfully tries to "fight crime"... this is going to be his "trial by fire"... a true "hero defining moment"... right? Well, no... this is where he pulls out his smartphone and starts a livestream to show off his powers. Jeez. Sometimes I really hate "current year".
Well... this goes kinda sideways for, uh... Sideways. Seems he needs his full-focus on his powers in order to make'em work right. Paying more attention to his phone, and doubtless billions of viewers, causes him to "rift" right into the a distant lake. Whoops. Upon arrival whereverthehell he is, he hears a booming voice commanding him to "Stop"... and so, he "rifts away" again.
... Only no matter where he goes, he is unable to escape the booming voice.
And we wrap up with Sideways finally running smack dab into its source... some yellow fellow that the DC Wikia calls "Tempus Fuginaut".
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This was alright.
I guess I'm not really sure what to expect from these New Age books. I always think it's kind of a bad idea to launch a bunch of new characters all at once. Gives me distinct Bloodlines vibes... and while that wasn't a complete failure, I think it had far more misses than hits. I'm having a real hard time "caring" about these new characters... I feel like there's no reason to "invest". The comic biz nowadays is just so reactionary... that if this sells even a little bit poorly over the next couple of months, it's going to get "nyoinked" before we have any reason to even want it around. So, as I say more and more these days, "Why bother?"
That all said... this was pretty okay. I think Sideways has a cool costume, and a pretty neat ability. His cast seems likable... and his "origin"... well, I guess it works? Lemme tell ya, in my attempt to "catch up" on contempo-DC books, one of the first things I read was Dark Knights: Metal. Woof. Much ado about nothin' right there. I feel like the entire "event" was leading to a single line used toward the end of the book. Something like "Because inside, we're all just a little bit METAL"... which I have a sneaking suspicion Snyder wrote while holding up "the horns".
The story here feels like... well, most introductions for a "young hero" this side of the new Millennium. Doesn't feel like it's breaking any new ground... not that it necessarily needs to. The art... I think you'll know with Rocafort whether or not you'll dig his work after looking at the very first page of the issue (posted above). I happen to dig it... while at the same time, can see why folks may not.
I could do without the "social media" stuff... but, I guess that's just what the "kids these days" are all about. I really miss superpowered young people trying to actually help people than build an online following... but I guess that ship has long left the port by this point. I really shouldn't even mention it, lest I get memed by that always (read: notsomuch) entertaining "old man yelling at a cloud" picture.
Overall... I'd say this is worth a shot. I doubt it'll rock your socks, but it ought to be a satisfying read. Also, if you are, like me, a fan of Rocafort... you're gonna love the way this book looks.
Before we jam, just another reminder... tomorrow we will have our EIGHT HUNDREDTH DAILY DISCUSSION... and for it, we're going to flip the switch back to the mid-1970's and chat up a book that eluded me for... well, almost 800 days!
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Terrifics #1 (April, 2018)
"Meet the Terrifics, Part 1 of 3"
Storytellers - Ivan Reis & Jeff Lemire
Inker - Jo Prado
Colorists - Marcelo Maiolo
Letterer - Tom Napolitano
Associate Editor - Jessica Chen
Editor - Paul Kaminski
Group Editor - Marie Javins
Cover Price: $2.99
Today we're going to discuss one of the very few "current year" books that I'm actually jazzed about. It takes a pretty special "new" book to be lifted toward the top of my never-ending backlog... and we're about to find out if Terrifics lived up to the hype that I imposed on it!
S'funny... any time I check out a new/newish book, a few things jump out at me. First... what's with all the editors? Do we really need three? Second, no more cover dates! I'd ask "What's up wit' dat?", before realizing with how many books are being delayed... I guess they're going the turn-of-the-century Marvel route of "nothing to see here, folks" and hiding them in the indicia. What a pain.
Anyhoo... let's get down to some Terrificking (that could have been one heckuva typo)!
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We open with Mr. Terrific paying a visit to the Staggs! Ya know, those folks who from Metamorpho's stories. Even Java makes an appearance! Anyhoo, he's advised that the Man of the House... er, lab is very busy, and Holt's only got a few minutes with him. Inside, he finds that Simon Stagg (flanked by his daughter and Rex Mason-squeeze Sapphire) is fiddling with the newly discovered Dark Multiverse... even sending in a metally Metamorpho!
Holt summons the Plastic Man egg as back-up and they head on in to retrieve their fellow hero. Plas transforms into a giant head, and gulps both Terrific and Metamorpho up for safe-keeping... and so they might chat. We get a quick and dirty sorta update on Dark Knights: Metal before setting down on a small planet to answer a distress signal.
Well, maybe not a "planet" exactly.
The Terrific Trio are then attacked by creepy spider-beast things before being introduced to their fourth member, Phantom Girl! I know very little about this young lady other than that she comes from the Legion.
Michael tells her that they were answering her call, and she's all "nope, not me."... so they search the giant cadaver for any signs of a signal. When they find it... we learn just who was asking for help... Tom freaking Strong!
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What a fun little book.
When I read books like this, I get the distinct impression that I've been reviewing comics for too long... and have trouble allowing myself to have, ya know, fun actually reading them.
This was light, funny and just a pleasure to read. The art is phenomenal, the characterization is breezy, we've got high adventure... and the potential for this to be one helluva run.
I have a feeling that no matter how much I might've dug it... the rest of the internet might have dug it a little bit more. I'm getting those "current Mister Miracle" vibes from it. I haven't scoured the web for the "outta 10" scores, because frankly... to do so, would cause me great distress. Then again, I'm not sure how active Lemire and Reis are on Twitter... and that usually plays a sizable role in how close to a "10/10" score a book gets. Integrity, what's that? Gimme retweets, dammit!
Anyhoo... a great little issue, and I suppose I ought to say "something, something, Fantastic Four, something, something". I have high hopes for this book... and as mentioned, I see great potential... seems there might be no limits to this one. I mean, we're twenty-pages in, and we get a Tom Strong appearance! Not what I expected... well, if I didn't "fold out" the cover, I suppose I wouldn't have expected it.
I'm hopeful that this book will allow DC to sweep out some of their lesser used corners... maybe breathe new life into some lapsed or stagnant properties. Maybe even check in with some of our forgotten friends from 1st Issue Special or something. Hell, have the Dark Multiverse drop 'em in 1986 Manhattan so they can meet Angel Love. The possibilities are endless... and really, that's the true strength of a book like this. So here's hoping for a long and healthy run! Hopefully they won't announce a Metamorpho feature film in the next couple of months... or else, this is doomed.
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Action Comics #485 (July, 1978)
"The Experiment that Backfired on Superman!"
Writers - Denny O'Neil & Cary Bates
Penciller - Curt Swan
Inker - Josef Rubenstein
Letterer - Milt Snapinn
Colorist - Anthony Tollin
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.35
Well, wouldja look at that cover?
That's one helluva sight, ain't it? Not only for the awesome Neal Adams art... but, if you look at the top right corner... it looks like some newsstand "clearanced" this bugger out.
Now, I think many collectors might get angry when they see such a thing... and I'm fairly certain I used to feel the same way. Nowadays though, I kinda dig it. It makes it feel like the issue itself has a story. This must've sat in a spinner or on a tilted shelf for weeks... maybe months, until the proprietor thought to knock 30-cents off the price just to be rid of it. Maybe it sold for full-price, and the kid who bought it "repriced" it for a yard sale. Who knows, right? Still think it's pretty cool.
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We open with Superman answering the call of Professor Bolden, the same fella who experimented with using Green Kryptonite as an energy source awhile earlier. Now he has a new experiment... unfortunately, it's been stolen by some crooks, who have decided to test it by using it against the Man of Steel himself! Superman plummets to the ground, shifting at the last possible moment to ensure a water-landing (as to not "scorch the town"). When he touches down, he's still so extraordinarily hot that he instantly evaporates the lake! As he lay motionless, his mind wanders back to his first run-in with Bolden.
As mentioned, Bolden was trying to finagle a way into changing Green Kryptonite into an energy source... and ya know, with the ubiquity of the stuff, it's not the worst idea ever! Anyhoo, if you've already read Superman #233, you know the deal... the K-Engine starts pingin' out of control... Superman arrives to "put a lid" on it...
... it goes boom, sending Superman flying back before plopping into some nearby sand.
One of the Docs takes note that the Green-K appears to have been altered... in fact, it's been transformed into iron... which proves to be harmless against the Man of Steel.
Superman takes a speedy global tour to check in on the rest of the world's cache of Kryptonite... because it's all over the place, and finds that it's all been "reduced" to iron. Back at the Daily Planet, Jimmy and Lois are overjoyed to learn that Superman now has zero weaknesses. Morgan Edge, however, is a bit ill at ease.
Clark Kent is then sent off to do a television broadcast to cove the launch of a "mail-rocket" for the Postal Service. What could possibly go wrong? As Clark delivers the news, his x-ray vision tips him off that there's a shady-looking creep hiding in the alley relaying information via a walkie-talkie. During a commercial break, CK "supes up" and confronts the geek... which leads to that famous scene of Superman chowing down on a harmless... though stale and lacking in salt, chunk of Kryptonite.
The baddie also reveals that the rocket will be intercepted and "heisted" by some jets... and sold to the highest international bidder. Good thing this guy wasn't around when there were mass-produced consumer-quality drones in the world. Anyhoo, post-launch coverage, Clark uses the cover of exhaust to change back into Superman and halt the heist. He approaches the first jet, and learns that his heat-vision isn't strong enough to cut into it... so he has to resort to a more physical approach.
He then noggin-knocks both sets of baddies, and once he's sure the "Mail Rocket" is safe, proceeds to drag the planes toward Metropolis Airfield so the nogoodniks can be arrested.
He's still a bit worried about his heat-vision's lack of "oomph"... and begins to feel rather woozy when they pass over the spot where he was splatted into the sand... but, everything winds up right at the end. Morgan Edge even, much to Perry White's annoyance, offers Clark a permanent gig on the news.
Then... he wakes up in the present, in that evaporated lake. He uses his super-breath to whip up a sandstorm to trap the thieves, and meets up with Professor Bolden to tell him he's gotta go "back to the drawing board". The End?!
--
Well... this kinda smells of "dreaded deadline doom", don't it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm always down for a take on Kryptonite Nevermore, but... this was just a partial reprint of the first chapter. Superman gets a "faceful" of Green-K, it's reduced to iron... his powers are a bit "off", he gets woozy over the sand... and that's it?! I mean, why bother to flash-back at all, if you're going to leave out all the "good stuff"? No Sand Superman? No Giant Ants? No... resolution?
I mean, if you just read this... and not the original story, wouldn't you wonder just why Superman felt woozy when he flew over the sand? Or why Superman's heat-vision couldn't cut through a tin can? Or why Green Kryptonite was turned into iron? The cover promises to share the story that "answers all your questions"... but, c'mon... I think it might make a reader ask more questions!
If you're wondering what I'm talking about, you can check out one of the earliest episodes of the Cosmic Treadmill where we cover the entire "Sand Superman Saga" or "Kryptonite Nevermore!" story.
Overall... I mean, this has an awesome cover, and will likely cost you a fair amount less in the bins than Superman #233... so, if you're interested in a partial retelling of the first chapter of this Saga, I suppose you could do worse. Otherwise, stick with the originals... or the (sorta overpriced) collected edition. This issue isn't available digitally, however, Superman #233 is. It's the same exact story, minus the framing sequence... plus a sandy cliffhanger (and a back-up).
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