Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (2010)

Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (March, 2010)
"A Groovy Kind of Love"
Writers - Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art - Amanda Conner
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Associate Editor - Rachel Gluckstern
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $2.99

Welcome friends to the penultimate entry in our Vartox Week Spectacular!  We'll wrap up our deep-dive on The Man tomorrow!

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Picking up where we left off last issue, Power Girl and Vartox are fighting off a gaggle of IX Negaspikes, which were created thanks to Kara freezing the one beastie with her super-breath... then shattering it into dozens of pieces... which all grew into their own full-blown IX Negaspike.  During the melee, she notices that this new bunch of monsters isn't quite as alert as the one she destroyed... and so, she has a plan.  Vartox isn't so sure he's up for a repeat performance.

After Power Girl suggests he might just be scared, he comes around.  The pair use their hyper-freezing-breath to ice up all the IX's... then smash 'em!

Leaving even more of the critters... however, as Power Girl assumed, they are completely docile.  Ya see, she figured out that no matter how many bodies the IX Negaspikes were shattered into, there wouldn't be enough brain-power to keep them all "on task".  They send the now cow-like monstrosities deep into space.

After the dust settles, Vartox makes another plea to Power Girl to hear him out about why he visited... and exactly what he's "chosen" her for.  At this point, Kara's almost punch drunk... and agrees to dinner.

We shift scenes to a creepy club in Manhattan where Satanna and her army of animal hybrids are convening.  She is trying to track down the Ultra-Humanite in order to do some brain-swapping... or maybe the Humanite already did... I can't be sure.  There's also word of a "creepy bald man" delivering some new tech... we'll meet him later.

Meanwhile inside the Head Ship, Vartox changes into his Valerian formal eveningwear... which amounts to a see-through robe and an eye-patch over his you-know-what.

Power Girl ain't havin' none'a that... especially if she's expecting to eat.  She sends him off to get into something less comfortable... though, by the looks of it, I'm not sure what could possibly be less comfortable than that.  He returns in a sorta disco-looking tracksuit.

He excuses himself to finish cooking, and suggests Pee Gee go change into something a bit fancier herself.  He directs her over to his on-board clothier, and after making him promise to turn off all of the cameras, Kara hops in.  She returns in a beautiful gown... and Vartox is left speechless.

So distracted, in fact, that he doesn't realize that their romantic dinner is burning!

Kara suggests they just order some take-out... and, next we know, the giant head-ship is hovering over a Brooklyn pizzeria.

While they dine, Vartox explains the reasons for his visit.  He's there, of course, so Power Girl can help repopulate the planet... only, it's not exactly how we (or she) might imagine.  He tells her about the contraception bomb... and also about his dead wife, who he claims was murdered (which... I suppose is kinda true).

Then... he gets down to it.  Valerians don't mate the same way humans do... they don't perform the "act"... no physicality, and in his words, none of the "sticky stuff".  Kara's confused... but also a bit curious... hell, so am I.  He shows her to the "Fertility Room".

Now, here's where it gets weird... er.  On Valeron, males and females both get pregnant (not Vartox though).  Their replication is more of a spiritual thing... as though they give birth to themselves... regeneration of their souls and stuff.  It's really weird.  It also involves a "Pregno-Ray", the very mention of which causes Power Girl to busts a gut.  Vartox chose Power Girl because her Kryptonian make-up will be able to stimulate the "fertilizer" without causing her any negative side effects.

Power Girl figures, what the hay... and offers her services.  Moments later, she re-fertilizes Valeron.

After which, Vartox gives her what appears to be, a most sincere thank you.  Kara's all "okay, okay... you can go home now."

We rejoin Pee Gee as she arrives back at her apartment.  She's greeted by her cat (and a dead roach) before passing out in bed.

We wrap up with Satanna... who is still seeking out the Ultra-Humanite.  At the moment, however, she's having a meeting with that "creepy bald man" we mentioned earlier... turns out, it's Doctor Sivana!

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There's this weird trap I fall into when reviewing comics.  I doubt it's something completely unique to me... but, when I'm reading something... I almost can't help myself but to look for the nebulous quality known as "heart".  Nebulous, because I can't put into words exactly what I mean by it... it's more of those "you know it when you see it" sort of things... and you know it's missing when you don't.  This run on Power Girl absolutely has heart... the humor is human, and the characterization is genuine.

Here we get to brush aside all of Vartox's bravado... and we're left with that tragic character, not so different than the one we (or whoever among us was already alive and reading) met way back in 1974.  This is a man who wants to do right by his people... not a silly gigolo, but an altruist.  Risking harm and humiliation in order to re-fertilize his beloved Valeron.

What's more, it was really nice to see Power Girl "come around" to him.  Seeing him less as a sex-pest, and more as a man... a champion to his people... hell, the only hope of his people.

The creative team does a spectacular job here having Vartox straddle the line between obnoxious and unselfish.  As we've learned during Vartox Week... this fella is far more complicated a soul than you'd expect this silly-looking Sean Connery rip-off to be.  He's the kinda guy... if he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all.  So, it's nice... some thirty-six years after he first appeared, to finally see him "win" one.  It was certainly a long time coming... 

Going back to the concept of "heart"... the art brings that in spades.  The looks Power Girl and Vartox share... there's annoyance, sure... but there's also... I dunno, it's hard to explain.  Not so much pity... as, an almost playful curiosity from Power Girl here.  Like, she thinks Vartox is a creep... but also sees him as harmless... amusing, even.  Amanda Conner truly brings both of these characters to life... and it's a shame she (and the rest of the creative team) wouldn't be around on this title much longer.  I've said it before, and I'll say it now... the art here is pure "candy".  Just love it.

Overall... yep, track this one down.  Hell, track this entire run down, Vartox-less issues and all... it's a great snapshot of what made the tail end of the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe special.  Hopefully you have an easier time than I did finding it "in the wild".  If the hunt ain't your thing... this issue is ready and waiting for you via DC Digital.

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Superman #389 (1983)

Superman #389 (November, 1983)
"Brother Act!"
Plot - Cary Bates
Script - Paul Kupperberg
Pencils - Curt Swan
Inks - Dave Hunt
Letters - Ben Oda
Colors - Anthony Tollin
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.60

I've lost count at how many Vartox Week Miracles we've bumped into during this, Vartox Week.

Today we're going to be discussing an issue which I described yesterday as being "for Vartox Completionists only"... and you'll see why by the end.  Another thing I said yesterday was that I checked with a few local shops about taking a peek in their back rooms to see if they might find those two issues of Power Girl we so desperately need...

... and I got that fateful callback yesterday afternoon!  The books were located and I'm pleased to say that Vartox Week will roll on.

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We open with a man in a phone booth trying to get a hold of Clark Kent's office at the Galaxy Building.  The operator can't really make out what he's trying to say... perhaps because he's making the call outside of a noisy construction site.  Speaking of construction... our man in the box is very nearly clobbered with a wrecking ball!  Luckily, Superman just happened to be in the neighborhood... and managed to save the stranger from a squishin'.

Before they get a chance to chat, Superman checks on the wrecking ball operator... only to learn that the poor fella'd been hijacked.  Somebody bonked him on the head, and took over the controls... this was no accident!  During the distraction, our mysterious man in the box removes his phony goatee and leaves the scene.  It's gotta be Vartox, right?

Later, at the Galaxy Building... Lana and Lois look at a picture of the two of them after dousing each other with fruit punch.  Yeah.  They see a rather dapper looking fellow enter the floor... and, wouldn'tcha know it, he's trying to contact Clark Kent.

Only, he's not in.  Jimmy Olsen and Terry Long's little brother turn the corner... and they recognize the man.  He's just gotta be Vartox, right?  This freaks dude out... so he, um, jumps out the window!  Don't worry though, he is using his jacket as a parachute.

He attempts to make his getaway on a nearby roof... but runs smack-dab into the chest of steel.

After some questioning, the man removes his disguise... revealing himself to be Vartox Secret Agent Cory Renwald!  If you're asking yourself "Who?"... you're not alone.  Turns out this fella was, at one time, another foster child to the Kents.  He spun out of a single issue of the New Adventures of Superboy, which... I dunno... kinda feels like a cheap way of introducing actual unseen elements of "history".  I mean, Clark Kent having a brother seems like it should've been a bigger deal.  Anyhoo, Cory's got amnesia.  Last thing he can remember was waking up in an alley... with pockets full of cash.

Superman decides to drop Renwald off at Clark Kent's apartment... so his "brother" can explain who he is... and how they're "connected".

Back at the Galaxy Building... everybody seems to be looking for "the elusive" Clark Kent.  During the hunt, Lana chats up Perry... and he's super-jazzed about having dinner with his wife that evening... as their relationship is kinda on the rocks at this point.

We rejoin Superman at the Pentagon, where he's learning a bit more about what's been going on in Renwald's life of late.  I mean, he's your own brother... you never think to pick up a phone?  Oh well, I suppose it's a two-way street, right?  Anyhoo, he learns that Renwald has been selling secrets to the enemy!

Superman's all "no way"... to which, the F.B.I. is all, "yuh-huh".  He asks for a few moments to try and get to the bottom of the situation... but the F.B.I. ain't havin' it.  Unfortunately for them, you really can't threaten Superman.  He leaves anyway.

Back at 344 Clinton, Clark and Cory reunite... and we get the quick and dirty on how they're sorta-kinda brothers.  The sight of a photo of the Kents is enough to bring Cory's memories back.  Clark cuts through the chatter and gets down to the nitty-gritty... what's all this about him being a traitor to the United States Government?

Cory reveals... it was all a set-up, see?  He's bein' railroaded by some mooks to take the fall, see?  Clark's all "okay, cool"... and suggests he turn himself over to the authorities... and together, they'll get to the bottom of this.  To which, Cory karate chops Clark.  Yup, that explains the cover.

Cory rushes out of the apartment and flees the scene.  Clark "supes up" and goes to give chase... only, at that very second, Lana Lang reports that a tanker had flipped over spilling toxic nastiness all ova da place.  Superman decides that'll have to be priority one.

Which is rather unfortunate for Cory... because, he only gets a few steps outside of 344 Clinton before being struck in the neck with a poisoned blow-dart.

Upstate, Superman takes care of business... dropping a, get this, city-sized dome over the affected area... then sucking up all of the toxic fumes, and rushing into outer space to exhale.

Back in Metropolis, an unconscious Cory Renwald is loaded into a remote control jet.  The baddies admit straight away that they framed him for treason... and plan on having him take a "kamikaze" flight... crashing directly into the President of the United States.

And, they might've gotten away with it... if they didn't spend the last half hour explaining their plan to an unconscious man, and just got on with it!  Superman arrives, and diverts the jet into the drink.  He then pulls Cory from the cockpit and carries him to safety.  Cory hopes that this is enough to convince the authorities of his innocence.  Since this is his final appearance ever... I'm guessing it was not.

We close out with a pair of epilogues.  First, Perry White is stood up by his estranged wife at the posh eatery.

Second, and more importantly... a comet is rushing through space, and in it's flamin' head... well, there he is... Vartox!

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See... toldja this one was for Vartox Completionists only.  That epilogue, of course leads into a three issue arc which we've already discussed here earlier during Vartox Week.  If you're interested in following that thread, click'em the covers below.

Gotta just love how Vartox is the cliffhanger... I wonder what the difference between cheers and groans was from the readership at the time!

Now, for the actual issue... it wasn't a bad one, it was just a strange one.  You might get the feeling like Bates was trying to legitimize some of the Kent-history he was spinning over in New Adventures of Superboy by carrying Clark's never-mentioned foster brother into the "main" books.  It reminds me of when John Byrne brought elements of Spider-Man: Chapter One over into the main Spidey books (post late 90's relaunch).  It always comes across as cheap... and might actually de-legitimize the entire thing in the minds of the reader.  I feel like it kinda did for me.

Unfortunately, not much more to say about this one.  It marked the final appearance (and likely the final mention) of Clark's "brother" Cory Renwald... so, I guess it's got that going for it.  There are some interesting "soapy" bits with Perry White's dysfunctional marriage.  Overall though, if you're looking for Bronze Age/pre-Crisis Superman stories... there are tons out there that are better than this.  I say it again... if you absolutely need every appearance of Vartox... then you're going to want to pick this one up too!

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Letters Page (featuring Kent Phenis... again and always!):

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Harley Quinn and Power Girl #1 (2015)

Harley Quinn and Power Girl #1 (August, 2015)
"Extrastellar Exxploitations"
Writers - Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Artist - Stephane Roux
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Assistant Editor - Dave Welgosz
Editor - Chris Conroy
Group Editor - Mark Doyle
Cover Price: $3.99

You might be able to tell by the book we're covering today that I was unsuccessful in tracking down those two subsequent issues of Power Girl.  I guess we used up all of our Vartox Week miracles!

I do have a calls into a couple of local comics "warehouses"... and I'm hoping to hear back this weekend.  So, fingers-crossed, we could just be back in the thick of it before long!

For today though, we're jumping through the Flashpoint... through the New-52!... and into that weird and short-lived DCYOU era for our next appearance of Vartox.

For completion's sake though, the main man did make a single panel cameo in Action Comics (vol.2) #15 (2013)... which I'll include here.

From: Action Comics (vol.2) #15 (February, 2013)
Grant Morrison (w) / Brad Walker or Rags Morales (a)

And no, we're also not counting his appearances in those lame-o Channel-52 bits... okay, okay... maybe I'll include a few choice "news reports" down below... I mean, where else are you going to see Vartox in a hot dog costume?  Seriously... 

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We open with Harley and Power Girl being spit out of a portal... which causes Harley to spit out everything she'd eaten the previous day... right on top of a cute little Mister Mind-lookin' critter.  They're in the Sombrero Hat Galaxy, by the way.  They soon run into a creepy little fella who refers to himself Sleezox, the uncrowned and exiled Sexyprince of Valeron.  Oh, it's worth noting, Power Girl is currently an amnesiac... so words like "Valeron" ain't ringing any bells.

After being insulted, Sleezox sics his pet hydra on the ladies... and before long, we go full-blown Bugs Bunny.  Power Girl gets swallowed... Harley hops on one of the heads and pounds on it... Pee Gee bursts out of one of the beast's throats... then, Harley just appears with an arsenal that would make 1991 Cable jealous.  Suddenly I'm feeling really old because... I don't "get" this.  Like, am I supposed to be laughing right now... or just cock my head to the side, smirk, and say "Oh, that Harley...".

After dispatching the dragon, the ladies come across... a giant mustachioed head.  It scans them... and recognizes Power Girl as Kara Zor-L.

I neglected to mention this yesterday, but I'm pretty sure this giant head is a nod to the Zardoz movie.  Take a look:

Here's Sean Connery actually climbing out of the thing.  I mean, it's gotta be a nod, right?  Also... I gotta actually see this movie... I'm guessing I'm missing a lot of references to it.

Anyhoo, the gals climb inside, and it's completely plushed out in 1970's style... as one might expect from Vartox.  Beanbag chairs, lava lamps... we're a disco ball and glowing dance platform away from a swell ol' time.  In fact, the head himself claims it was designed (and scented) based on acquisitions from Vartox's first visit to Earth in 1974.

The giant head then takes Harley and Kara to Vartox... or more accurately toward Vartox.  Ya see, he's currently being held captive by a fella called Oreth Odeox, who wants to rid the galaxy of hedonism.  Vartox promises, however, to get his groove back.

Hey, we already used that line...

Anyhoo... Harley and Pee Gee are shot down while passing the Valeron Moon of... Lustox.  Oh boy.  They run into an acne-addled alien who accuses them of being prostitutes... ya know, outfits that show off their ample curves... and also tight enough to facilitate... um, well, Karflippian toe?  Harley blasts him to cinder.

Which starts a big ol' thing.  They ladies are swarmed by dudes who look like A.I.M. rejects, but Power Girl takes them out with the quickness.  To avoid further scuffles, she then crushes Harley's adorable little death-pistol.

Then... Groovicus Mellow shows up!  Power Girl, being an amnesiac, doesn't remember him.  He recognizes her as the "original" Power Girl... as in, the same one from the pre-Flashpoint DCU... which scratches me where I itch, but... it's a Harley book, who could say how "in continuity" it is.

Then... they are attacked by a space armada.  To be continued... but, not on this blog until I procure the rest of this mini.

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So... Harley Quinn is basically Deadpool now, right?  Ehh, I guess ya go with what works... though, I can't say that I'm a fan.

That's not to say it's bad... just not for me.  Makes me feel positively ancient to be rolling my eyes more than even slightly curling my lip.  The book we discussed yesterday... now that was funny... and I don't just mean "comicbook" funny... actually funny.  Like, caught off guard where I laughed through my nose kinda funny.  This... this was just wacky Deadpool antics.

We don't get a heckuva lot of Vartox here... and it's starting to feel like he's going to be a one-joke pony at this point.  He's just a polyester Pepe Le Pew.  Could work for a one-off, but I'm not sure I want more more of it than that.  Though, maybe (and hopefully) I'll be proven wrong when I procure the rest of this run.

The art here comes from Stephane Roux... who, I'm guessing was trying to evoke a more "cartoony" style to fit this story... but, I gotta say, I had to check the credits twice.  This looks nothing like his spectacularly gorgeous work from the pre-Flashpoint Zatanna series.

Overall, if modern Harley Quinn is your bag, you're probably going to love this.  If it's not... hell, you still might have a good time here.  All I can say is, it's not my thing... and, in my opinion, it's a step backwards from the pre-Flashpoint Power Girl series when it comes to comedy and characterization.

Now, you might think this is the end of Vartox Week... buuuut, it's not.  I've got a "for Vartox completionists only" pick set up for tomorrow... because, I'm sure by now, we'd all refer to ourselves as "Vartox completionists", right?

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Assortment of rather pot-bellied Vartox features in Channel-52!:

... and, of course, Vartox in a hot dog costume!

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