Teen Titans #53 (February, 1978)
"In the Beginning..."
Writer - Bob Rozakis
Pencils - Juan Ortiz
Inks - John Fuller
Letters - Ben Oda
Colors - Gene D'Angelo
Editor - Jack C. Harris
Cover Price: $0.35
Here's a cover that's haunted my collection. If you look above, it kinda looks like I just took a bad picture of it (which, if you're familiar with my "photography" probably isn't much of a surprise to you)... but, nope... this one was just cut wrong, severing the price/number "box" in the process.
It's always the worst for me when I can't see the issue number at a glance... it's the same reason I'll pass up the Whitman "variants" I come across... those leave the issue number off the cover completely!
Anyhoo... we're left with a cover that looks like something your mother would try convincing you into "trying on" when you're back-to-school shopping at the outlet mall. Weirdly cut... and the colors aren't quite "right". I mean, check out Wally's hair. Maybe they're just paying homage to that 1967 cartoon?
Yeah, probably not.
Oh well, without further ado... let's wrap up the first volume of Teen Titans!
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We open with Mal and Karen happening across the Teen Titans Casebook. Well, it's not like they hadn't seen it before, that just never actually stopped to read the thing. With the Titans on the brink of breaking up... what better time than now? They open it up to the very first "official" case for the team, which falls sometime after the Mister Twister incident... but before the group hits the ground running.
This first entry was written by Robin, and recounts his earliest memories of the formation at the start. Ya see, he was on a routine patrol tailing what he believed to be a cat-burglar. He's as shocked as you might imagine when he discovers it was actually a... bat-curglar... er, burglar.
There is a struggle between the dynamic duo... with Batman getting the better of it. After they swat each other's 'rangs out of the sky, Batman just kayos the kid... and makes off wit' da jewels.
Next stop for the Boy Wonder... Metropolis! If Batman's gone batty, maybe Superman can help! While Robin loiters around the outside of the Daily Planet, he is approached by... Aqualad! He's also here to see Superman, because... get this, Aquaman has become a pirate!
Garth tells the tale... Aquaman sent his pet octopuses on board a cruise ship to steal all'a da jewels.
But, that's not all... next thing we know, Kid Flash and Speedy are rushing up on the scene! Their mentors have also gone bad!
And finally, the boys meet the newest teen hero on the block... Wonder Girl! This is their first meeting... and nobody really has much of a clue what to make of her. Anyhoo, she reports... the same thing as the others, her mentor has also lost her mind.
Robin hatches a plan... and it has to do with our brand-new team of teens... splitting up! First we'll join the original three... Robin, Aqualad, and Kid Flash, as they attempt to apprehend Wonder Woman, who is currently trying to hijack a plane from the outside. She's able to take the boys out with ease... until... Robin "binds" her. Ya see, he's done his Bat-Homework and knows Wonder Woman's weakness is being bound by a male.
Next, we join Wonder Girl and Speedy as they try and corral the Flash. After a few unsuccessful attempts... Donna is able to, get this, "bind" the speedster using her lasso which she vibrates at the same super-speed frequency that Barry is moving in!
At this point, I'm guessing Mr. Rozakis realized he was running out of pages with which to tell his tale... so, we get one panel each of the Titans taking down both Aquaman and Batman. If ya believe it, seems the easiest way to take down Batman is with a boxing glove arrow.
The not-yet Titans then head into the Justice League's headquarters, where they happen across the "Big Bad"... he is Antithesis! And his power intensifies whenever anyone under his control (like say, the Justice League) does his bidding. With all but Green Arrow "bound", he's not nearly as strong as he might otherwise be.
While the Antithesis and the Titans chat... elsewhere, Aqualad and Kid Flash are neutralizing Green Arrow with ease. This causes the big bad to fade away. Easy peasy.
After the dust settles, the kids unbind their mentors... and decide it might be a good idea to form a "Junior Justice League". Donna suggests adding a bit of pep to their team name, and thus, the Teen Titans is born. Roy ain't keen on going "all in", but says he'll hop in and out.
We wrap up this issue... and volume of Teen Titans back in the present... where all of the members decide to go their own way. In the words of Roy Harper, they've "outgrown this Teen Titans shtick". If you only knew, pal.
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Out with a whimper!
The ol' DC Implosion rears its ugly head and takes out the Teen Titans in one bite. Not the best story to go out on... feels terribly stock, and reads more like a fulfillment of a contract than anything else. Can't really hold it against them... but, it's still pretty disappointing.
I guess the main takeaway here is retconning Wonder Girl and Speedy into the Teen Titans as "founding members"... which, is fair enough.
If you're a newer reader to the Titans, and this story gave you a bit of deja vu... there's a reason for that! This singular issue was adapted and stretched into a six-issue miniseries around a decade ago... in Teen Titans: Year One. Remember folks, there is no such thing as decompression nor "writing for the trade". It's allllllll in our heads.
Really not much more to say. The art was... again, an afterthought. Just a "job" to be done. Can't fault 'em... but, I don't have to like it either. I think the bit about this issue that tickled me the most was the "Where are they now?" section in the Tell it to the Titans letters page (included below, click to embiggen). It fills the reader in on where they might find their favorite Titans characters now that their own book is a-goner.
Overall... I'd say this is one for Titans Completionists only. If you come across it on the cheap... you could do far worse. This is a weird one, least in my neck of the woods... I've seen it in the cheap-o bins... and also behind glass with a double-digit price tag. I'd definitely suggest not paying more than a couple bucks. Doesn't look like this one's been made available digitally... which isn't much of a surprise. It has been collected as part of Teen Titans: The Bronze Age Omnibus, so if you have an extra Benjamin laying around...
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Letters Page:
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1st Issue Special #6 (September, 1975)
"Dingbats of Danger Street"
The Works - Jack Kirby
The Inks - Mike Royer
Cover Price: $0.25
Finally... their story can be told! Ladies and Gentlemen, today we're going to meet the Dingbats of Danger Street. Hey, that rhymed!
This has been a post over two years in the making, about an issue that has been one of my "white whales" for even longer than that!
You all know me, if you've visited this blog a time or two... you know one of my obsessions is 1st Issue Special. And finally... finally... with today's post, we've covered all of 'em!
This is an event so tremendous, I even engaged in some MS Paint-level image manipulation to "create" and add a new side-banner to the humble site.
Consider it a placeholder... until I, uh, ya know... become talented at manipulating images. Either way, if ya click the pic... you'll be whisked away to our dedicated 1st Chrissue Special page!
Anyhoo... we're finishing some long-undone business today, so let's get right to it!
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We open by meeting our titular stars, the Dingbats! If there was any doubt these were Kirby Kharacters, wait'll you get a load of their names. First, we've got Good Looks... which is debatable, then Non-Fat... with a great big hot dog in his mitt, Krunch... the big guy, and finally the insane-looking, Bananas. A Kirbier bunch'a guys I've never seen. Anyhoo, their introductions are cut short when Jumping Jack bursts through the scene, followed by a member of the "Fuzz".
Jumping Jack gets all caught up in Krunch's "exerciser"... which is basically a gigundous rubber band. This snaps the baddie back, and the officer is able to apprehend the red-clad geek. Turns out though, he's hidden some key evidence.
All of the excitement caused poor Non-Fat to choke on his hot dog. Krunch decides to employ the Danger Street Heimlich, which is just slamming the poor geek across the alley with a karate chop to the back.
Turns out, Non-Fat wasn't choking on frankfurter... but a small cylinder with a film-strip inside. Looks like that was Jumping Jack's "evidence". The Dingbats try and figure out what's so important about a strip of film... it's not like it's big enough to fit a whole movie on it, so what's the point? Non-Fat rushes up to Krunch and kicks him in the backside... which hurts his own foot. This looks like it's going to be his gimmick.
Just then, the Dingbats are held up at gunpoint by the real baddie of the issue... The Gasser, who really wants that film strip!
The kids don't waste a beat handing over the evidence. They ain't gonna get shot over a strip of film that probably doesn't even have a full movie on it. Oh, and Non-Fat runs up and kicks the Gasser in the butt... which is no more effective than last time.
It does, however, provide enough of a distraction for Krunch to lunge forward with sock to the mush. The Gasser responds by... gassing the gang.
After a melee during which The Gasser loses both the film strip and his pistol (criminal mastermind here, folks!)... he rushes over to his nearby creep-van and takes off. He's unaware to the fact that Dingbat Non-Fat stowed away on the roof...
... well, until Non-Fat makes his presence known, anyway.
We shift scenes over to the Danger Street P.D. where Jumping Jack is being interrogated. He's bein' tight-lipped, as you might imagine. He ain't talkin' bout no evidence. Just then... the Dingbats burst in... with that very evidence. They're willing to hand it over, so long as the Fuzz gives them a hand rescuing their buddy.
Jumping Jack uses this momentary distraction to... break out! Let's hear it for not restraining the friendly neighborhood super villain! He dives out a window to freedom.
The Dingbats presume that wherever Jumping Jack is headed, it's probably where their buddy Non-Fat is. They insist on accompanying the police in their pursuit... and, get this, the Lieutenant thinks it's a fabbo idea! Law Enforcement is pretty loosey-goosey on Danger Street.
The Fuzz and the Dingbats are able to track Jumping Jack all the way back to The Gasser's van... which is conveniently parked in a dead-ended alley butted up against the pier. The police snipers swarm to the nearby rooftops and our buddy the Lieutenant tries to, uh, reason with the baddies.
The Gasser's not havin' none of this, and lets fly with a brand-new gas... one that ignites when it hits the air. Seems like a trigger I'd never wanna pull... but, then again, I'm not the Gasser. He does manage to singe the Lieutenant's arm, so it wasn't a total waste.
Or was it? Bein' burned only enrages the Fuzz... and he rushes in to deliver one hell of a dropkick on the Gas-man. Before the bad guys know it... they're staring down the barrels of a whole lotta guns.
As the dust settles, the Dingbats break into the Gasser's van where they find... Non-Fat, and he's as stiff as a board. He's not dead, mind you, he's just been zapped with some "freeze gas". Also in the back of the van, an Executive... who I suppose was the point of this entire issue. Alrighty then.
We wrap up with the Lieutenant finally getting a name (Terry Mullins). He offers the Dingbats his aid any time they need it. For his kindness, Non-Fat rushes up and kicks him... and hurts his own foot. The Dingbats slink away, leaving ol' Terry with the idea that... these kids have probably had some bad experiences with adults. He's going to have a tough row to hoe if he ever wants them to see eye-to-eye. Of course, this is an issue 1st Issue Special not starring the Warlord, so this is all pretty moot.
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Well, this was just goofy as hell... wasn't it?
Let's start with our "heroes"... they're some of the "purest" Kirby kids I've seen in a long while. Everything from their names, to their positively charming "raw" dialogue... I gotta wonder what his future plans were for this gang... or if he had any at all!
When I first started doing my research on 1st Issue Special, back in the long ago... this was the one I had to do a double-take on. I mean, sure... Lady Cop is wonderfully weird, but she's been something of a punchline for... ever. Nobody really talks about the Dingbats... and when I saw this cover, I was immediately captivated. It's something I couldn't even believe existed. Hell, I'm holding it, and just read it... and I'm still having a difficult time!
Something I find myself doing anytime I read some 1970's DC Kirby... I wonder if the characters he'd introduced were ever earmarked to appear in Marvel Comics. Thinking about the New Gods, and Mister Miracle by extension... Manhunter... Darkseid... and now, the Dingbats! Like, were these guys maybe supposed to be the (ever faceless) Yancy Street Gang? It's fun to consider.
Something I think about when reading 1st Issue Special is... why did they choose this story for their "pitch"? So many of these FIS installments have had the weirdest stories... that kinda defy the "pitch premise". I mean, look at this one... did anything happen here that would make you get out a piece of paper, write a letter, buy a stamp, lick and affix that stamp, and trudge your way up to a mailbox? I'm not so sure.
I mean, I dug it... found it amazingly charming... but, I'm kind of okay with it being a one-and-done.
Overall... as a novelty, I'd say this is a must own. You know how we roll here at the Infinite Earths... if you come across an issue of 1st Issue Special in the wild... you grab it!
And with that, we finally put 1st Issue Special to bed. Remember, we've now got a dedicated page for all-things 1st Issue. Check it out for a trip down weird street!
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Power Girl (vol.2) #8 (July, 2010)
"The Little Things!"
Writers - Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art - Amanda Conner
Colors - Paul Mounts
Letters - John J. Hill
Associate Editor - Rachel Gluckstern
Editor - Mike Carlin
Cover Price: $2.99
Welcome friends to the... final day of Vartox Week! It was bound to happen eventually.
I wanna thank everybody who joined me for this deep dive on a character that, really, not many people care about. It's been a really fun learning experience... and a great exercise in challenging my own preconceptions on just who and what Vartox really is. We'll talk more about that below the synopsis.
Worth saying, I feel like this weird three-week-long theme "week" really helped to breathe new life into this humble blog. I think anyone who maintains a blog with regular posts, and I don't just mean daily... could be whatever sorta "deadline" you impose on yourself, I think all of us are prone to burnout. Burnout is definitely a real thing... especially when your "subject" is as niche as comic books tend to be.
I mean, people today love superheroes... but, not so many actually seek out folks' opinions (or even information) on the "real" stuff. Without a whole lot in the way of engagement, sometimes it feels like we're writing into the void... and if you've joined me in this Vartox-void, I thank you.
I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I have!
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We open with Power Girl and fake-Terra (the other fake Terra) about to relax in an emofluid spring down in Strata... which allows us to see Kara try on a very ill-fitting bikini. Well, when in Rome. They take a load off and reminisce while the golden waters project their memories. We briefly mentioned the Ultra-Humanite yesterday... turns out, the baddie had messed with Atlee (the other fake Terra) in the interim, and Power Girl had to save her.
We shift scenes to Satanna getting out of... er, Savana Jerusalem's bed. Truly a case of "strange bedfellows". If you recall, Savana was supposed to provide Satanna with a weapon with which she could take out Power Girl. Savana's all "not so fast, kemosabe"... and invites some Big Daddy's from BioShock in the room to take Satanna out.
Back in Strata, Power Girl and Terra leave the emofluid springs. Just then, they run into Atlee's family. Kara cannot help but to be touched at the sight of the reunion... something she definitely didn't expect. Her mind is flooded with thoughts of her own lost family... friends... and Universe.
After a light snack... or, at least an attempt at one... Power Girl heads back to Brooklyn. Terra promises to follow a few days later.
Kara returns home... and tries to think of a name for her cat, before settling on "Stinky". That's not a euphemism, folks... and shame on you for thinking it was.
Heading to work, she runs into Fisher (Bronze Medal Champion in the regional Jimmy Olsen lookalike contest). Turns out, this skeevy little perv took some compromising pictures of her... but he's seen the error of his ways, and turns over the "only copies" of the snaps (yeah, right).
After a ride on the subway, Kara emerges from the underground just in time to see...
There he is! It's Vartox... and he's fighting a great big baddie called Galaxorg. Well, maybe Galaxorg isn't all that bad. Ya see, they're only fighting because Vartox tried moving in on the Big G's wife. If fairness, he thought she was single. Kara "Pee Gee's" up, and tells the goofs that they don't gotta stop fighting... but they can't do it here.
Galaxorg and Power Girl take turns throwing Vartox into orbit while they hash out the details of changing the venue of this hyper-powered struggle. Galaxorg proves himself yet another sex-pest when informs Power Girl that he could be persuaded to leave. This goes over about as well as you imagine. The Big G ain't pleased, and refers to Kara as "Vartox's whore". Uh-oh.
Power Girl wrecks Galaxorg... until he decides that discretion is the better (only?) part of valor. He refers to Vartox as "Tynolan scum", which proves he's never really read the Bronze Age stuff, before vanishing.
After the dust settles, Vartox makes yet another plea for Power Girl's affections. It isn't very effective. Instead of traveling the stars with our man, Kara instead simply "escorts him" back to his head ship. And that... is the last we'd see of Vartox in the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe.
Jumping ahead, we join Kara at work. She's informed by her employee Alice that they'd just gotten a major investor in a group calling themselves Vega 9. Oh, also... she resigns. I suppose this would mean more if I hadn't only been reading the Vartox issues of this series. Kara then takes a phone call from a fella named Carl... who I'm assuming is a callback to a prior story. Either way, he's "Vega 9", and he's happy to be an investor.
We wrap up with Kara being called into the lab for one of her employee's birthday parties. Turns out, the party is actually... for her!
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There's a pretty good way to wrap up Vartox Week.
I said it yesterday, but it's series' like this one that give such a wonderful snapshot of just how much fun the tail end of the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe was. It's truly a shame books like this one had to be deep-sixed in order to make way for the "more accessible" New-52! I think a book like has a fairly universal appeal... you don't need to be ensconced in DC lore to follow it, but if you are you'll probably have a deeper appreciation. Plus, it's funny... and the art is phenomenal. What's not to dig?
This is the final issue for this creative team... next issue would bring in Judd Winick, who, if you've been reading this blog with any regularity, you know he's a fella I run hot and cold on. It was actually his first issue (#13) where I first tried out this book back in 2010. I didn't come back for #14... but, back then I was just getting my "comics footing" back... I think I was just grabbing anything I could get my hands on.
Let's talk Vartox.
I've brushed up against it a few times lately... a "happy accident" of running a blog like this is that I'm afforded the opportunity to challenge my own preconceptions about titles, creators, characters... ya know, just everything I thought I knew about comics.
When I first got it in my head to do a little Vartox "spotlight", I figured it'd be a neat little aside... a "funny, ha-ha" where we all poke fun at the Sean Connery lookalike. Hell, at the start I kept referring to him as the "Manliest Man Who Ever Manned"... as a gag!
What I wasn't expecting was to be so captivated by this character. I wasn't expecting to be so taken with his seemingly never ending tragedies. If you go back to our earliest looks at Vartox (easily available on our dedicated Vartox Week page), it seemed like an endless torrent of crap was being rained on him.
Every single time we ran into him... something horrible has happened. If it wasn't his wife being murdered it was his planet being destroyed. It was around then, that it clicked. I finally got it. Vartox, is a Superman... that failed. He couldn't save his wife... he couldn't save his planet.
It's almost a shame how he was treated in the post-Crisis... as just a goonish punching bag, and later, as a sex-pest. Though, I will say, underneath the creepy predatory facade, the Power Girl creative team were able to "bring it around" and give him some much-deserved depth. They also gave him what might be his first (and only) actual "win". The first time he was able to save his people. If not for Vartox's efforts, Valeron would've withered.
Overall... I said it yesterday, this Power Girl series is an absolute treat, and you owe it to yourselves to check it out. This issue is no exception... I had a blast with it, and I'd bet my lucky dime you will too.
And that, my friends, was Vartox Week. I wanna say, this has been enlightening, and so much more fun than I'd ever imagined. It definitely helped recharge my bloggy-batteries, and stave off the dreaded (and inevitable) burnout. After all, we're still 66 days from Post 1000...
I think we've gone above and beyond in showing this obscure fella some love. Hopefully in the months and years to come, folks who wonder just what this Sean Connery-lookin' dude is all about will come here and bask in the glory that is... or was... Vartox Week. Keep that magic in your hearts always, my friends.
While we're done with this subject... we're not done talking DC Comics by a long shot. Come back tomorrow, where we'll be finally wrapping up another long-lingering project.
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