Batman #459 (February, 1991)
"Saturday Night at the Movies"
Writer - Alan Grant
Pencils - Norm Breyfogle
Inks - Steve Mitchell
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Letters - Todd Klein
Assistant Editor - Kelley Puckett
Editor - Denny O'Neil
Cover Price: $1.00
Had such a good time visiting with Alan and Norm yesterday, that I decided to keep it going today!
FYI: Harold completionists... we do get a sighting here!
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We open with a look at the movie listings... looks like there's a whole lotta garbage playing in Gotham theaters, which... hey, I'll hand it to 'em for realism! We've got blockbusters like the Pre-Teen Karate Cockroaches, and Where Skulks the Skeletoid... Also, howsabout that, it looks like Wild Dog got himself a movie deal! We pan out and see that it's Jim Gordon and Sarah Essen checking the listings for their night out on the town. They ultimately decide on The Mark of Zorro... because, of course they do.
Back at the Batcave, it looks like our new friend Harold is getting along just fine. He's only been there two days, and he's already concocted a hologram projector to further disguise the place from potential passersby. The way Bruce is smiling, I gotta wonder if he's planning on fitting ol' Harold for a Robin costume.
We pop over to the theater, where a family tries buying three tickets for the Pre-Teen Karate Cockroaches... only, it's sold out! The bratty son is getting testy... and so, the father suggests that while they're there, they go see The Mark of Zorro. Peter, the boy, isn't exactly excited at the prospect... and isn't scared to let his folks know.
We rejoin Batman as he... well, does what Batman does. He descends on a bunch of baddies, and beats them up. That's how a lot of Batman scenes start, isn't it? Anyhoo, he winds up saving an out-of-towner named F. Joseph Leonard from a mugging. Ol' F.J. is appreciative, but is going to hightail it out of Gotham A.S.A.P. as possible.
Batman recognizes the would-be robbers as Spades Mulligan and Freak Curtis... he "interrogates" them in order to get them to spill the beans about their supplier. Looks like they're quick to squeal.
Back at the theater, Jim and Sarah arrive... and load up on snacks. Gordon promises that he'll begin his diet... maybe even quit smoking... on Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah... if I had a nickel. They take their seats in the back row... so they can neck a bit. We can see that Peter and his parents are seated way up front.
We rejoin Batman as he approaches the address given to him by Mulligan. As he arrives, we can see that the gang is watching a bootleg tape of Where Skulks the Skeletoid... lucky stiffs! Batman arrives and gasses the geeks. Unfortunately for him... the big boss isn't in!
Back at the theater, Peter's proving to be a horrible little snot, who is ruining the movie for everyone within earshot. His parents do the responsible thing, and drag him out by his ear. Wow... how refreshing! These days his folks would be too busy texting to even realize their kid's being a jerk.
Outside, Batman's on the trail of the supplier... Rassler. He chases him right to the entrance of the theater... where he stumbles upon a young family making their exit. Starting to see the parallels yet? Mother, father, son... exiting The Mark of Zorro... yeah, you get it.
Just in case you didn't get it, here's a full page spent making the callback to that fateful night the Waynes went to the movies.
Luckily, this doesn't wind up being a repeat of that night. It's a good thing too, could you imagine the jerky vigilante young Peter would've grown up to become?! Batman swoops down, drawing all of Rassler's fire...
... only it wasn't Batman... just his cape! Batman appears behind Rassler... and kayos him with ease.
With Rassler out, young Peter runs up to thank Batman. He asks how he came to be a superhero... to which, he replies that it all sorta-kinda started with The Mark of Zorro. Hey, technically... that is about the size of it, right? It's only now that Pete realizes how cool Zorro is, and he drags his folks back into the theater to watch the rest of the film.
A little bit later on, the movie lets out. Jim and Sarah happen upon Rassler, who's being shoved into a squad car. Gordon attempts to get involved, but the officer waves him off to enjoy the rest of his evening. As they walk down the street, Jim and Sarah express their love for one another.
Jim walks Sarah to her hotel, but declines a "night cap" since he's got work in a few hours. As he leaves, he lights up a cigarette... annnnnd has a heart attack!
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Well, that was bummer ending! But, kind of a perfect one.
We talked yesterday about how, every single day the amount of choices we have seems to lessen. It's kind of a "sense of urgency" type of message... or, just a bit of regretful reflecting. "What I could'a done" "What I should'a done"... all the way to "Why did/didn't I do that?"
Here, we have a Jim Gordon... who finally seems to have made a choice, he wanted to make a long time ago. And, wouldn'tcha know it... no sooner does he make that decision... than it all might be taken away from him. It's tragic... but human, and is so well done here, that it's hard not to come away from it, a bit... well, maybe not choked up (considering we know Gordon "gets better") but, perhaps... I dunno... reflective about things in our own lives.
At the risk of being a bit precious and/or ridiculously self-indulgent... Are there things (within my control) that I've always wanted to do? Are there good reasons why I haven't? What's holding me back? It's sobering... because, as we learned last issue... one of these days, that choice will be off the table.
The other thread we follow here... is Batman's. I gotta admit, when it became clear where the whole Mark of Zorro thing was going, I kinda groaned... but, perhaps that's not entirely fair. These days, "that scene" is so overplayed, that it's almost lost all of its poignancy... it's just "that scene", and writers are always alluding to it. Back in ye old 1991, I couldn't say if it was just as exploited... but, whattayagonnado?
Overall though, this was yet another great outing by Grant and Breyfogle. This is definitely one of "those" runs... runs you should do whatever you can to seek out. Especially if you're reading the current stuff, and miss stories where things actually happen... you'd do well to check in on issues of this era. This issue only features one page of Harold, so it might've missed out on being included in the Essential Harold Omnibus, Volume 1... but, it is available digitally!
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Batman #458 (January, 1991)
"Night Monsters"
Writer - Alan Grant
Pencils - Norm Breyfogle
Inks - Steve Mitchell
Colors - Adrienne Roy
Letters - Todd Klein
Assistant Editor - Kelley Puckett
Editor - Denny O'Neil
Cover Price: $1.00
It's funny... was looking through my past several dozen posts here, and found a disturbing lack of Batman! Gonna try and rectify that.
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We open with Batman rescuing a child from a group of heroin pushers... who are attempting to forcefully inject the lad with the stuff. Batman swoops in, whups ass, and takes the boy to safety... only, when he unmasks... it's Commissioner Gordon! Okay, it's just a dream... Gordon's dream! He's sitting outside the Gotham Train Station... waiting. He think about how he, if things were different, could've been the "Night Monster" that is Batman (you just wait, mister). He shakes it off and goes for a burger.
Nearby, a young girl carries a broken doll toward a ramshackle building. In a neat touch, it's still Gordon's narration... and he discusses how with every single day that passes, the choices we can make grow more and more limited. It's wildly unpleasant, but so well presented. Anyhoo, the girl believes there's someone called "Mr. Fixxit" living among this squalor (not that Mr. Fixit). A man who can fix literally anything... and so, she leaves her doll (along with a candy bar for payment) and leaves.
We rejoin Gordon as he's finishing up his late-night burger... and just then, he catches some young punks spray-painting a wall. When he announces who he is... the kids just run off. He goes into a coughing fit as he attempts to give chase. Luckily, a certain caped figure just so happens to be passing by.
These punks... they ain't the brightest. They only run a few streets over... and instead of chalking up tonight as a "win" (or at least a "non-loss") they start spray-painting a homeless man's face. Well... that was a dumb move, as it gave Batman more than enough time to catch up.
Remember that girl with the doll? Well, she hasn't returned home... and her father is ticked! He grabs a baseball bat and heads out to deal with this mysterious "Mr. Fixxit". Along the way he knocks on every door in their apartment building... looks like he's forming a mob!
When we get back with Gordon, he's loitering around the train station... again. But why? Well, ya see, Sarah Essen is returning to town. Folks familiar with Batman: Year One will know that Essen is the woman who Gordon briefly cheated on his wife with. Anyhoo, she's transferring back to Gotham from New York.
Gordon wonders why he's even here... it's not like he's ready to strike up a relationship (or even a conversation) with her. And so, he tries to slip away unnoticed. Unfortunately for him... a purse-snatcher picks just this moment to, well, snatch a purse.
Back at the dilapidated building, that mob has assembled... and they're armed with just about every kind of swingable blunt object you might find in your home. They call out to Melissa (the little girl), and promise that they won't let "that freak" hurt her. At this point, Batman swoops in to check the temperature of the situation.
He asks if anyone called the police... to which, nahhh... nobody did. Looks like they want to exact their own form of neighborhood justice. Batman suggests he go in first to get the lay of the land. The mob refuses... even going so far as to push him out of their way! They tear down the rickety fence, and head toward the structure. Batman decides to do some tec'ing, and follows the tiny footprints nearby.
Back at the Railway Station... Gordon's down! Gordon's down! Gordon's down! Lucky for him, there's another cop nearby... Sarah Essen! She holds the purse-snatcher at gunpoint... and the former lovers have a pretty awkward reunion. Once the creep is in cuffs, they decide to head out for a cuppa coffee.
Back at the building, the mob zeroes in on Mr. Fixxit... who, well... is that hunchback dude from the cover. Hold all gasping til the end. Anyhoo, Melissa's dad proceeds to threaten the poor fella... and is just about to bash his brains in with the ball-bat before...
... Melissa enters the room! Turns out she just got stuck under some fallen scaffolding on her way out. Mr. Fixxit didn't do anything to hurt her. Melissa's dad drops the bat, realizing that he might have been the monster all along. We'll talk more about this in a bit.
It ought to go without saying that by now Mr. Fixxit has repaired Melissa's doll. Her father is beside himself with shock... because, as far as he knew... all of the dolly's electronics were burned out. Melissa gives Fixxit a peck on the cheek, and they leave. Before exiting, however, she asks Batman if Fixxit will be going away. He replies that he will... but, that he'll be taken care of.
Batman tries chatting up Fixxit... but the poor dude don't talk. He recognizes him as Harold, a scarily-brilliant engineer and former associate of the Penguin (during The Penguin Affair... a story I'm surprised we haven't yet discussed here). He wonders what to do with him. He knows he can't turn him in to the authorities... he would just wind up being sent to an institution from there.
We rejoin Gordon and Essen at Mel's Diner where they're having some coffee and catching up. Looks like they're both available these days. Jim's wife passed... and Essen's husband was killed in the line of duty. There's really nothing keeping them apart now.
They chat a little while longer... and decide that, whatever their shared future holds... they should definitely take it slowly.
We wrap up in the Batmobile. Batman and Harold are heading back to the Batcave... looks like Harold's going to be working for the good guys from now on!
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Okay, so how great was this?
Gordon's narrative here fit the issue perfectly. It was almost poetic in a way. The idea that every day windows of opportunity close all around us... is such an unpleasant thing to consider. It's true, of course... but, wow... how sobering is that? Jim even goes as far as to say at a certain (very young) age, you know you'll never be the Gerber Baby. It might sound crazy (and maybe a bit of an extreme example)... but, that doesn't make it any less true!
Framing his story with a narrative discussion of "choices" is really so perfect. His entire night out is a choice he's made... that he isn't so sure about. He could be there to meet Sarah at the train station... or, he could just sneak away. It's so very human that when you're faced with a decision you labor over... you start thinking about other choices you could've/should've made along the way.
I mean, we get Commissioner Gordon dreaming that he's Batman... and when he wakes up, he considers that... had he made a different decision (or twenty), that he could've been Batman! Don't worry, Commish... your bat-bunny costume is only a couple of decades away.
The Harold story was pretty cool... though I did have one problem with it (which we'll get to). I've always had a weakness for "boogeyman" type stories... the type of tall-tale that would go around the schoolyard. For us growing up, there was the Diaperman... a man (who may or may not wear a diaper) who lived in the woods behind the school. We spent many an afternoon trying to find him... because we were idiots. Couldn't imagine a gaggle of geeky kids doing something that stupid nowadays!
Anyhoo... so, Mr. Fixxit... the phantom toy repairer of Gotham City. Such a fun (and creepy) idea... and, most scarily... one that you could see kids falling for! Heck, if the Diaperman advertised that he could make it so I wouldn't have to blow in my Nintendo cartridges anymore... I... er, well... let's just be happy that he didn't.
So, yeah... really dig that premise.
Now, what I didn't so much dig... let's talk about that "Melissa got stuck under the scaffold" thing for a second. I get what we're going for here. Mr. Fixxit/Harold isn't a bad dude... and he didn't do anything to hurt Melissa. But... if that mob didn't assemble and come out to bash his brains out... Batman would've never searched the building... and so, at the end of the day... there's a pretty good chance Melissa would've died under the debris! So, in essence, it's a good thing that Mel's father gathered the troops and stomped on in... right?! I realize that makes things a little less heartwarming... but, it's kinda got to be said.
Also, what kind of a father would Mel's Pop be if he didn't wanna bash in the brains of the guy he thinks took/hurt his daughter? I mean, even as enlightened as we all claim to be nowadays... I couldn't say with any certainty that I wouldn't swing first, ask questions later. It's kind of weird that Mel's Pop is kinda framed as a bad guy from the first moment we see him. Would we prefer reading about a father who doesn't care that his very young daughter is roaming the slummy Gotham streets in the middle of the night?! Just not really buying that bit.
Overall... for the most part, I had a blast with this... and I'm sure most Bat-fans will too! This story has been collected in the Essential Harold Omnibus, Volume 1... okay, no... that's not a thing that exists... but, it is available digitally!
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Superman #404 (February, 1985)
"Born to be Superman!"
Writer - Paul Kupperberg
Pencils - Carmine Infantino
Inks - Bob Oksner
Letters - Milton Snapinn
Colors - Gene D'Angelo
Editor - Julius Schwartz
Cover Price: $0.75
You ever just stare at a word... and it baffles you, because you could swear you spelled it wrong? And it's a word you've used a bunch before, even! So, like... you keep staring... and maybe you'll copy and paste it into Google...and even then, you're still not sure if you're quite seeing it right?
Well, that explains the last eight minutes in my house as I squinted sideways at the word... Kupperberg.
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We open with Superman fighting off a fleet of alien invaders. He pulverizes the hull of the craft and all sorts of nonsense starts to pour out... I've never seen Superman act so... I dunno, littery? Anyhoo, before he can properly board, the craft sounds its alarm. Only... that's not what's going on at all... what he's hearing is actually his alarm clock, it's time to get up!
He's in bed with his wife, Lana Lang. He tells her about the dream he'd just had, to which she reminds him that he's not Superboy anymore. He tells her that this time, it was a different dream... he wasn't Superboy, he was Superman. She kinda shrugs it off. We learn here that Clark lost his superpowers when he was 16, and spent the next decade in a coma.
As Clark gets ready for work, we learn a few more things. First, he and Lana have a son (who may or may not be a young Terry Long)! Also, Ma and Pa Kent never died of that tropical virus. Pa picks Clark up to take him to the Airport for a business trip.
On the car ride, we learn (we're doing a lot of learning this morning) that Jonathan Kent is a member of the State Legislature... and that Clark's trip to the West Coast is to open a Kent Supermarket (a chain that grew out of the Kent General Store in Smallville). Oh, also... Superboy lost his powers and fell into that coma after a battle with (who else?) Lex Luthor.
One plane ride later, Clark is picked up by Pete Ross... and a limo! He's driven to the Kent Supermarket, which kinda looks like a place that the Legion of Super-Heroes might shop at. It's definitely an eyesore.
After cutting the ribbon and dedicating the store, Clark and Pete load back into the limo and chat about his weird "super" dream. Remember, it was established that Pete found out about Clark's dual identity during the New Adventures of Superman series (perhaps elsewhere before that too!), so he knows all about what CK might be feeling. As it happens, this limousine is equipped with a television. A WGBS Superboy "13 Years Later" documentary comes on (narrated by Jimmy Olsen).
Clark asks Pete to shut it off... he's not keen on reliving the loss of his powers. Someone who is happy to see this, however, is... Lex Luthor. We learn that, in the wake of that fateful day, Lex was sent to jail for twenty years (being paroled after thirteen). He relives their final battle, and laments that Superboy never returned as a Superman, so he'd get the opportunity to kill him again.
Back in Smallville, Clark and the fam are out for a walk. Lana and the boy decide they want some ice cream... so, off to the ice cream parlor they go. Along the way, however, Clark notices a Superboy book (written by Lois Lane) in a shop window which causes him pause.
Lana flashes back to the day Superboy lost his powers... and how, after the big explosion, Superboy crashed back down on the football field. Pete Ross was quick to nab his pal, and was left with very little choice but to spill the beans about the dual-identity to Lana.
Lana and the boy continue along to the ice cream join, while Clark chats up Police Chief-turned-bookstore owner, Mr. Parker. They both lament the loss of Superboy, after all, Smallville owes him a whole heckuva lot.
We jump ahead three weeks, and Lex Luthor has created a... ridiculous looking pair of robotic walking legs, with which he's going to... look ridiculous while he robs a bank? Sure. His rig is fortified enough to withstand the fire of several police officers, and he is able to bust through walls with ease. Then, he runs into... Superboy?!
Only... this is no Superboy! This is Superman. The Luthor legs are tipped over, and they go boom. From here, we get some hand-to-hand fisticuffs... and a few choice observations from Lex. Like, Superman didn't absorb his punch the same way he used to... and also, he's not flying!
As they continue to beat on one another, we learn that Superman is really only keeping it together at this point because his suit is invulnerable. Well, that, and the fact that he... get this... built a homemade "power pack" to mimic some of his old power-set. And he did this with... wait for it... various colors of Kryptonite?!
They fight some more... and eventually Superman wins. After the dust settles though, he realizes that he did so... without the aid of his "homemade power pack"... and without superpowers at all! Yay?
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Okay, so... when we get a story like this, it can only ever end up going one of two ways. First: it's all a dream/hallucination... Second: Imaginary story. Neither of them are all that satisfying... though, at least with a dream, we might get some moralistic closing comments. We... don't get that here.
What we get... feels like a cop out. Made even worse by the comparably strong first half. I really dug the amount of effort that was put into building this alternate world where Clark lost his powers and never became Superman. How would the world take shape around him? Where would he wind up? There's some really fun (and strong!) storytelling here.
It felt kind of like an episode of Twilight Zone... which should've been a big red-flag. How often do ya see an episode of Twilight Zone with an enthralling first half... that has you at the edge of your seat... and ends with a "dud". I'd wager the answer to that is "Most of the time."
I mean, really... once we hit the midway point, the best case scenario was that this was a hallucination... or, Superman was going to be plugged into some weird machine. Now, if that's the best case... it's safe to say, we'd better brace for disappointment.
Let's talk about that ending. First, Superman makes a "power pack" out of... Kryptonite? I mean, I know he lost his powers... but, he's still a Kryptonian, right? He didn't just all of a sudden "become human", did he? This stuff should still be highly dangerous (life-threatening!) to him. To see him tinkering with the stuff is... weird, right?
The ending could be taken one of two ways. If you just look at the pictures, it looks as though Superman really didn't need the power-pack he built into his belt in order to "be super". If you read it, though... it's plainly said that a de-powered Superman actually defeated Lex Luthor. Dunno about you, but... I kinda like the first option better.
This issue features Carmine Infantino... who, by the mid-1980's, isn't one of my favorites. I feel like his art is part of the reason why I have so much difficulty getting through the Trial of the Flash... and, yeah... I did say "part" of the reason. I'll give him this, though... he still draws a mean Clark Kent. Everyone else though... ehhhh.
Overall... this was an issue I'd actually hunted down because the concept interested me. A retired-from-heroing Clark Kent settling down in Smallville and starting a family, while the world moves on without him? Sign me up! Ultimately though, it was a bit of a let-down. Super-strong first half... pretty lame conclusion.
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